From draining to uplifting.

I've had an insane week. In all aspects of the word. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It's been DRAINING. I've been stressed about a lot of things, including a prompting that I received last week. But I have done so much this week to try and receive answers.

On Friday I went to see my therapist and we discussed a lot about how I feel very much like there are too many paths for me to choose from. But after much discussion, it clarified that Heavenly Father is there to guide me. When I make choices, I can tell Him the choice I made and ask Him for guidance. He can't make the choice for me, and I knew that, but sometimes I think I forget that just having a bunch of different "maybes" isn't making a choice.

Yesterday I went to the temple with a friend and ran into more friends at the temple. It was an amazing experience and I am so grateful that I was able to go. It brought peace to my life to be at the temple, and it led me to more answers. It also confirmed that I needed to make a choice. 

So today I made a decision. I made a decision as to what I'm going to do and I asked Heavenly Father to let me know if that wasn't what He wanted for me. So I'm waiting for confirmation of my decision but in the meantime, I am not going to worry about any of the other paths–I'm going to focus on finishing school and graduating, as well as focusing on the parts of my decision that I can do right now. So I'm going to keep looking for full-time job opportunities and I'm going to keep reading my scriptures and going to the temple and I'm going to try to gain as much spiritual growth as I can. 

Four Blessings of the Temple, by Harold Glen Clark:"First, the light and knowledge promised by the Father may come to us in the temple through the agency of the Holy Ghost. 
A second great blessing the temple offers us is instruction in the requirements of personal righteousness. 
A third blessing of the temple is that it serves as a place where we are taught our responsibility for others.
A fourth blessing of the temple is receiving the knowledge that we are a part of a great cause.”

So grateful for the love and peace that I have felt as I’ve read the scriptures and gone to the temple this semester––as well as my entire time here at BYU. It has been such a blessing for me and my testimony. Even though I have not always been the best at reading my scriptures or going to the temple as often as I would have liked, I tried my best and I know that Heavenly Father is proud of my efforts. I hope that I can continue to make Him proud as I move forward in my life trying to apply all the principles I’ve learned in my life and as I try to better myself each and every day. I am not perfect, so all I can do is try. And that is all that He asks of me.

I know that He loves me. I know that He sent His Son to die for us. I know that as I go to the temple regularly, I will gain more knowledge, peace, light, comfort, and instruction. I don’t know exactly what the future holds for me, but I know that God is going to be with me. 

Xoxo
Mattie