Here in mortality, perfection is still pending.

I have been studying the scriptures with a friend for the past couple of days and it has been such a blessing! I am learning so much more than I usually do by myself as we talk and discuss the scriptures together. I am so thankful for her insights and love–we had a really awesome study session last night and I learned several new things that I am excited to incorporate into my life. One thing I am hoping to work on is not only being humble enough to trust Heavenly Father, but I also want to work on trusting Him enough to be humble.

We were reading in Doctrine and Covenants section 67 last night, and in verse 3 it says, "there were fears in your hearts, and verily this is the reason that ye did not receive." I loved that because I thought it explained so much! Sometimes we don't trust Him enough, and we are more afraid...and that is why we don't get answers. Because fear comes from Satan, not God, and when we are afraid, we are essentially not trusting Him, so why would He give us an answer if we don't trust Him? Lately I have been coming to terms with the fact that I think I do not trust Him enough...which really makes me sad, but probably makes Him even more devastated. And even though I have been trying to work on it, I don't think that I have really been focused on it all that much. So that is one of my goals for this next week/the next couple of weeks. I know that with His help, I can do it. 

In sacrament meeting today, Aunica talked about four types of members, and specifically about the fourth type. She talked about how we need to give up our will, and be willing to do whatever God asks of us. We need to take the steps necessary to do His will. One thing that she briefly mentioned that I absolutely loved was the fact that it [meaning, for instance, our Sabbath day worship, our daily worship, etc.] only becomes for us when we let it be for Him. 

Brother Thompson talked about how we don't need to be perfect right now, we just need to strive to be perfect. He said, "Here in mortality, perfection is still pending." We have an opportunity to improve, and that's the goal–line upon line, precept on precept. 

I feel like a lot of the lessons I learned in church today complemented a lot of the messages that Haley and I studied last night, and I am so grateful for that. I am so thankful for the scriptures, and for the fact that she and I study the most amazing and perfect things for me when I need them, and I hope and pray that they help her when she needs them, too.

It's hard to accept the fact that sometimes, you don't know what is going on in your life. It's hard to accept that you don't know what is going to happen. It's hard to accept that sometimes, God trusts you to make decisions. My roommates and I were talking this morning about that, and Carrie said that sometimes, when you don't really feel prompted one way or another, that just means that the decision you're trying to make doesn't really make a difference one way or another. And it means that God trusts you. And I said, "Well, He trusts me more than I trust myself." And she said that maybe that means that I need to learn to trust myself more, and trust Him more. And she's right. I have been struggling recently with a lot of different things, and realized that I need to learn to accept His trust, and help, and I need to learn to be humble. I've been struggling to focus on lots of different things in my life right now so I am only going to focus on one thing right now, and that is my humility. I feel like, as I learn more about humility, and being humble, and as I become more humble, I will eventually also be able to trust Him more, so really it's like hitting two birds with one stone, just slowly. 

I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned this weekend. I am grateful for supportive and loving friends, and family. I am grateful for the resources that I have access to. I am grateful for the fact that I am here on Earth. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to learn and grow. I am grateful that I am able to go to school. I am grateful for the opportunities that I have to serve those around me. I am grateful for the people in my life who help me remember who I am, and how strong I am, and how brave, and kind, and intelligent, and loved. I am grateful for those who do not let me degrade myself, and for those who lift me up when I am feeling down, and when I cannot lift myself up. I am grateful for those who remind me of Jesus Christ, and of what He would do. I am grateful for those who stand as witnesses of God, at all times, and for those who stand with me. I am grateful for those who not only love me, but let me love them. 

I can't believe that March is coming to a close soon! The semester is going by so fast! I hope that you have a wonderful week! Heavenly Father loves you!! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Walk by faith.

I'm grateful for my Savior. For the blessings He gives not only me, but my loved ones. For the prayers He answers. For the people He puts in my life. For the peace and comfort He brings. For the love He gives me. For the opportunities I am given to better myself. But most of all, I'm grateful for the sacrifice that He gave–His own life–and for the peace and knowledge that comes from knowing that I can repent, and live with my family forever, because of Him. 💜

I learned a lot of amazing things in church today but I want to address a different topic today. 

I was looking on LDS.org for something to talk about, and I decided to look up a talk by President Gordon B. Hinckley for a couple of reasons: one is that in Relief Society this year, we are focusing on lessons from his life and I'm enjoying it so far; two is that the anniversary of his departure from this world in 2008 was the other day; and three is that my birthday is tomorrow and he was a wonderful prophet and I loved him dearly and wanted to dedicate a post to him in his memory.

The talk that I picked of his is entitled "We Walk by Faith", from the April conference in 2002. First things first, it reminds me of the song "I Walk By Faith" by Janice Kapp Perry, which is one of my absolute favorites. You can listen to it here [I hope that link works! If it doesn't, you can find it on Spotify under the album "I Walk By Faith" (2010). I recommend the whole album, by the way. All the songs are based on one of the young women's values. The original album from 1986 is good too. :)]. 

Continuing with the topic, President Hinckley relates a little analogy that I liked. He says, "In the process of conversion, the investigator of the Church hears a little. He may read a little. He does not, he cannot, comprehend the wonder of it all. But if he is earnest in his search, if he is willing to get on his knees and pray about it, the Spirit touches his heart, perhaps ever so lightly. It points him in the right direction. He sees a little of what he has never seen before. And with faith, whether it be recognized or not, he takes a few guarded steps. Then another, brighter vista opens before him." I loved this analogy of conversion and faith. Step by step, little by little–that's how our conversion goes. We follow the commandments, read our scriptures and pray–we use our faith, and by our faith we grow, little by little. 

In Doctrine and Covenants 50:23-24, the Lord says, “That which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness. That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day." God doesn't give to us all at once, and we don't gain a testimony all at once. Much like the growth of a baby, it comes little by little and you only notice its growth when you compare it to a previous testimony. Though I will say that you aren't always able to tell for yourself if your testimony has grown by comparison, but you can tell by how you feel.

I highly recommend reading this talk! It was very enlightening and also a little humbling. I know that as we walk by faith, we will be blessed, little by little, and we can be edified little by little. Our conversion and blessings will come as we rely on, have faith in, and trust our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. I know They love us, and I know that there isn't anything that They wouldn't do for us. I know that you can trust your Heavenly Father and your Savior with your life. They love you so much and want you to be able to return to live with them again. I love you and am so grateful for you. I hope you have a very wonderful week!

Xoxo
Mattie