Strength.

This week my quote is, "You are stronger than you know." I needed it for a different reason than I will give but it's a powerful quote. These next couple of days/weeks will be interesting and busy. Finals are coming up soon, and in my two smaller classes, that means final projects, too. But I can do this!! I just need to use my time wisely. It's not impossible. I'm stronger than I know, and I'm more capable than I know. And that goes for you, too. You are stronger and more capable than you know. And I believe in and support you. Don't forget to turn to God when you need to. He loves you, so He'll help you. And if you feel you're not strong enough, turn to Him. He'll give you the strength that you need. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Two separate Facebook posts about today. I had a blast with my family today! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I'm grateful for so many things!! I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to go to school and get an education. I'm lucky and grateful to have been surrounded by so many great examples throughout my life. I'm so grateful that there are temples around. I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities that I have had (and will have) to grow as a person and to grow in the gospel. I'm so grateful for my family and friends (they love me in spite of my weirdness and craziness ;) ). I'm so grateful for the scriptures and the prophets. But most of all I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, and my Savior, Jesus Christ. His Atonement has helped me heal more times than I can count, but I know that I can always count on Him to be there for me.

It's been a really fun day. Filled with family, food, dessert (yes it's a separate category of food), funny videos, and laughing fits and outbursts. I love my family and I'm so grateful that I got to spend the day with them. I'm also grateful that I get to be myself. I know I'm crazier and weirder than most but I wouldn't trade who I am to be anyone else. I'm grateful that I get to be me because my world is better when I'm being myself–it's real. :)

A message about life and love. I hope.

I know I already posted today, but I need to post this. I had a headache today (shocker, I know) and I just didn't know why. And earlier today (around 4) something so extremely small happened that made me a little sad (I don't even know why; it was so stupid). And then I had a meeting about my calling, which is Compassionate Service and I was like, "Okay, it's all good when I get to pray for and serve others and be compassionate towards them, but what about when I need compassionate service?" And I hate asking people for help like that because I'm really blessed because I don't have things as bad as others. And so I decided to watch something, and I was, until like 40 minutes ago when I decided that maybe walking would help get rid of my headache. So I got up and I was looking at Facebook and one of my friends liked a post I had shared and written yesterday. I was looking at it and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I needed that!" And I almost started crying but I walked around in circles a couple times (strangely, this tactic works sometimes for different things like trying not to stress or cry. I don't know why) and decided to walk downstairs. Did you know it's really hard trying to find a private spot in a dormitory hall where there's hundreds of girls living? Like, the only private areas are the practice rooms downstairs. ANYWAY. So I decided to come downstairs, which is where I am now. And then I decided to turn on my church/inspirational playlist and read my scriptures. But when I opened my LDS library app, a song came on that made me start sobbing. I just started sobbing (and it was awful to listen to because I sob weirdly when I'm trying not to sob really loudly and so I tried not to sob so much but that just made it sound even more awful) and so I turned to the section with texts about Jesus Christ. And I read The Living Christ, or the prophets and apostles' testimony of Jesus Christ. And this song ("Take Me There" by Hilary Weeks) was just describing exactly how I felt and what I needed and wanted and it made me cry more, but as I kept reading The Living Christ my tears stopped streaming down my face. I know He lives. This world we're living in—it's getting really bad, and it's making me sad for everyone who's hurt because of bad decisions made by other people. I wish I could just wrap all of those people who are hurting in a big hug and I wish I could make it all better. But I can't. Maybe...maybe I'm supposed to serve a mission, to spread His message of love and peace. Until this moment, I never actually felt a burning desire to serve a mission. It's always been something that wasn't really a part of my plan and I thought that was it (oh gosh, here come the tears again). Maybe I need to ask God again. Maybe I need this. But I'm scared. I'm not gonna lie—the thought of serving a mission has always frightened me. I'll have to ponder on that some more, I think. ANYWAY. Back to how I wish I could wrap everyone in a big hug. I personally cannot. But because God is real, He can bless them. I know everyone is always like, "How can an all-powerful God let bad things happen? How come so many people die because of cancer, or terrorists?" First I have to say this: I'm so sad about the way that our country (and the world) is going. People aren't as trusting in or believing in God. And it's so sad to me. I know I haven't been as studious with my personal spiritual growth (weird, right? You'd think at BYU it would be easier) but I still believe in Him. I love Him, and I know that His plan is just too grand for our human brain to comprehend fully. I don't know everything but I do know that God loves us. I do know that He sent His Son—Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer—to die for us. He DIED. Can you comprehend that? He did absolutely nothing wrong, and yet they crucified Him anyway. He atoned for you and He suffered for EVERYTHING. All of your pains—heartaches, afflictions, wounds, headaches, bumps, bruises, etc.—and all of your worries and stresses and He suffered for your sins. All of them. All the little ones, and all the bigger ones. He bled from every pore of His body sweat like drops of blood. He was in agony. And someone brought this to my attention today: Luke 22: 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. He "prayed more earnestly". What should we do when life gets tough? Get on your knees (if you can) and pray. God doesn't always answer our prayers exactly the minute we demand an answer. Sometimes it takes awhile. But "for those who embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they come" (Elder Holland). Answers and blessings will come. You just have to have faith. I know I'm just a girl from Utah and you're probably going, "Oh, what does she know?" But I am telling you: He will answer you. He will bless you, and He will help you. I promise. I don't know everything about history, or math, or science. I don't know why some people do the things they do. But people are human. We make mistakes. And we are imperfect. But I know that He loves you, regardless of your mistakes. He does not condone the sin, but He loves you and He blesses you and He sends people to you to do His work in His place because He can't personally be here. I know He lives. I know He loves you. I promise He will help you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Today I'm blessed and grateful.

Today I'm grateful for my hallmates. We seriously have the best hall—I'm not kidding. We always have the best time when we get together, and everyone is always smiling, and everyone is so kind to each other. I'm so grateful to be a part of this hall. I love these girls so much and I'm so grateful that I have been able to get to know them.

Today was a special day. I performed in sacrament meeting today, and I was accompanied by two of the girls from my hall (who are two super talented and absolutely gorgeous girls), and I feel so blessed! I was SUPER nervous about singing—all week I was super excited but today, when I saw my name in the program, I swear my heart was going to pound through my chest—and I prayed a LOT this morning that I would be able to sing well and that I would calm down. I feel like I started off kind of weak at first but as we kept going, I grew more confident and I was able to sing strongly, and I felt like I was being supported by angels, and by the end of the song, I felt like I could conquer the world. It was such a spiritual experience and I'm grateful that I got to experience it with my friends. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I had to bear my testimony of the Savior through the song "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul". It's one of my favorites and I'm so grateful for Him and all that He has done and does for me.

I'm grateful for the pioneers, and for my pioneer ancestors.

Currently, I am in the middle of watching 17 Miracles. I love this movie. I also love Ephraim's Rescue. These movies are powerful, powerful videos that show the strength and determination of the pioneers as they traveled to Zion. They also show many, many miracles that happened on their journey. It is such a testimony builder to me. I'm so, so grateful for the pioneers, and for my ancestors. Without their strong testimonies and determination to follow the Lord, I would not be who I am today. I'm so grateful for the brave men, women, and children who marched on. I'm grateful for their sacrifices and their love. I cannot even begin to comprehend how much they had to endure, even after having heard the stories and watched videos depicting what they had to go through. They loved and lost so much. I am so grateful for them. I am so, so grateful, and I am so, so blessed to have been born into the church. I have a testimony of this gospel. I know that Christ lives. I know that He loves me, and I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know that He atoned for our sins and for our afflictions, and pains, and everything that we have had to go through. I know that He is always there with me and that I am never alone. I know that He will always be there for me, and I know that He will always be there for you.

Thank you, veterans.

First off, let me say "thank you" to our veterans! My great-grandpa served in the Army and I'm so glad that I was able to know him because he was a great man. I'm so grateful for all of our veterans' sacrifices. They and their families are definitely angels on earth. God bless their families.

Second, I was blessed as I performed in BYU's Got Talent tonight. I had technical difficulties, which threw off my groove, and my groove also got thrown off around three-quarters of the way into the song, so the last portion of the song is in a lower key than I normally sing it in. Also, I'm normally not even capable of singing those notes, so thanks to my Heavenly Father for sending me His angels to help me sing the correct low notes confidently. :)

What a blessing!

Today I'm grateful for a kind professor I met today.

Story time: I had two tests open this week, and I also have been working on my issues paper for my writing class, so I wasn't able to study as much as I wanted to in order to take my American Heritage test on Monday. Because today was the last day I could take it without paying for it, I was planning on studying for it between classes today and then taking the test after classes. That plan inevitably fell apart this morning when I was heading to a study group for my other test that opens this week (Physical Science, if you really want to know) and halfway to where we were meeting I realized that I forgot my notebook, and I was just like, "NO, let's not deal with that right now." So I went to my study group and afterwards I had a class. That class gets out at 1:20ish, so I was out of the building at like 1:30. Then I was hungry, so I debated and went back and forth, trying to decide if I had time to eat, grab my notebook, study, and finish my reading for my Book of Mormon class. Y'all know how I walk in circles sometimes when I can't decide which way to go? (If you didn't, you do now) Well, I was doing that outside, and I was really frustrated so I kicked a bench, and this professor was walking by, and he was like, "Are you okay?" And I told him I was fine, I was just a little frustrated. GUYS. He stopped to talk to me, and asked me what was wrong, and he offered to pay for my test!!! He was like, "Have you eaten?" And I said no. He said to go eat. And then he gave me his contact information and said, "Let me know when you're going to take your test and I'll pay for it." As I turned around to go to eat in the Wilk, I almost cried because that professor didn't have to do that. Listening to me was all that he needed to do, but he went above and beyond.

Sometimes there are hard days.

I'm not gonna lie: sometimes there are hard days. Sometimes they are really, really, really hard. Sometimes weeks are really hard, too. But I know that God will be there. I know that as long as I do my part, I won't have to do it alone.

Sometimes, the hard days are just emotionally hard. I'm so glad that I can turn to my Heavenly Father for comfort and peace, and that He will assure me that it is going to be okay. I know that He loves me, and I know that He wants what is best for me. Right now, I don't really know what that is. And that is okay. I know that He knows what He is doing, and I know that it will all work out in the end.

I'm grateful for my Savior, and for all that He has done for me. This weekend was kind of emotionally taxing, as you probably know from my previous blog post, but after I turned to my Savior, I was able to feel comfort, and I was able to rest. And I know that He can help me rest when I need it, and I know that He will help me finish whatever I need to get done, and I know that He loves me, and I know that He loves you. And I hope you never forget that I love you, too.

These are just some uplifting pictures that I love and wanted to share with you. :)

Sometimes we just need to remember that we are
children of God and that He loves us no matter what!!

I'm so glad that He is always with me. :)

He is our Lifeguard, and He walks on water.

I realized some things this weekend.

This weekend has been fun! My roommate is gone and so it's been just me and it's been fun. :) (Don't get me wrong though—I love my roommate; she's cool. :) ) Last night I watched Netflix, and snacked on my snacks (duh ;) ), and painted my right toes because I did my left toes on Friday. And I had my door open a bit because it makes me feel less confined. And plus I like to talk to people who walk by. But by like 9 or something I closed my door because it was just making me feel sad because no one was walking by and I just didn't want to be reminded that no one was walking by. When I finally went to bed, I turned on music to sleep to for the first time in a long time (because I don't want to bug my roommate) and I got in bed. And then I started thinking about the lyrics to the music and about the day and I just started crying. I don't know why. But last night was just weird. I liked having time to myself and being by myself but I was by myself from like 4-5:30, and from 7 onward, and I just felt...I don't know. I kinda felt alone and I just really wanted someone to talk to but I felt like no one wanted to talk or hang out. But I remembered God is always there for me. So I went to get a drink (my eyes were super red and I'm so glad that no one came out of the hall at the same time as me) and I felt better and then I went back to bed and fell asleep.

Anyway!! I'm fine now. :) SO I was really looking forward to church today, because people! And we talked about Christlike attributes in Sunday School, and being humble in Relief Society. And I realized that I have to work a little bit on being more humble, and not as prideful. And I realized that I need to work on some things. And maybe that's why I needed to be alone this weekend. Maybe I needed to learn some things about myself and how I can improve and be more Christlike. Whatever the reason that I needed to be alone this weekend, I realized that I'm so not perfect—I already knew that but I realized it so much more this weekend—and I realized that Heavenly Father is always there for me, no matter what. Even if I'm alone. Even if no one talks to me. Even if I hurt. He is there. And I'm so grateful for Him and for my Savior.

P.S. Today, at choir practice, we were practicing for ward conference next week. The song we're singing is "Take Time To Be Holy" and the tune of it is the same tune as "Be Thou My Vision"! And I was super excited because I love that song!! I'm super excited to perform next week. :)

You are precious.

I just wanted to post something today. Don't know why. And I don't know why I thought of this. It's kind of cute and it's very inspiring, in my opinion.

SERVICE is spelled "L-O-V-E"

LOVE is spelled "T-I-M-E" 

TIME is spelled "P-R-E-C-I-O-U-S"

PRECIOUS is spelled "Y-O-U"

As I've been thinking about this cute little poem that I created, I've been thinking: You are so precious to Him, He sends people to serve you, and love you, and spend their precious time with you, a special child of God. That is how much He loves you. That is how much He cares. 

Big time blessings.

Well, today I was blessed BIG time. I was set to register today starting at midnight. Yesterday, I set my alarm for 11:30pm and went to bed. I woke up with a start, checked my clock, and was like "Crap! My alarm didn't go off! It should've gone off!" It was 2:30 AM (I actually don't know how I woke up on my own. I am taking a medication that knocks me out for like eight hours. I should've still been asleep. Thanks, God. :) ). I quickly got up and logged on. My first class was gone! I moved on to the next one. Also gone! Only one of the four class that I originally had planned to take was I able to get. All of my backups were gone, too, and then I just did some hardcore searching. I had to get to 12 credits in order to stay a full-time student. I finally got up to thirteen credits and then I stopped and got ready for work. Later, before American Heritage, I signed up to be on the waiting list for two of the classes that I originally wanted. And back at my dorm I signed up for another class that I had originally wanted, just at a different time. ANYWAY. Long story short: It's all good. :) I am content with my schedule right now–I'm actually really blessed that I was able to get enough credits to stay a full-time student with classes that I'm interested in–and I'll be happy if I am able to get the other classes that I wanted. But if not... I will trust Him.

One step at a time.

During the sacrament today, I was thinking about the Savior and His Atonement. I wrote a poem, kind of:

He did not have to suffer.
He did not have to die.
He could have stopped at any time,
Yet He did not.
He loves us so much He suffered.
He loves us so much He died.
So turn to Him in times of need;
He suffered and died for you.

Today in Relief Society, we talked about perfecting ourselves, and putting on the armor of God. One of the girls in my hall shared a quote by Elder Ballard, and I loved this part: "True spiritual power lies in numerous smaller acts woven together in a fabric of spiritual fortification that protects and shields from all evil." That reminds me of the scripture in 2nd Nephi, "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little." (2nd Nephi 28:30). It's easier to take things one step at a time, especially because we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. Sometimes I think we feel like we have to be perfect right now, and that it can't wait. It doesn't always happen all at once. But if you take things slowly—one step at a time—and work with the Lord, it'll be easier. It'll still be hard, but it won't be so hard. :)