"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him."

It has been quite a few months–life gets busy so quickly!

First update–we are expecting a baby girl in December! We are so, so grateful to God and for His hand in the science that helped us find all the answers we needed to move forward. We are also just really excited and can't wait to meet her! She is quite the little mover already and I know she is going to be just as adventurous as her daddy.

Second update is that I have received my certificates in Digital Content Creation and Computer Science, as well as my Associate of Science in Software Development! I am so, so thankful for all of the friends I made and the the knowledge and experience I gained during my time at Ensign College. I am grateful to be finished and look forward to the opportunities in the future that will come because of it.

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This week in Come, Follow Me, we have been studying Psalms. I was reading the introduction of the week's lesson, and I wanted to share it, because I think it's a great reminder of what we can find in the scriptures–not just in Psalms, but all of the scriptures. 

"The writers of the Psalms shared deeply personal feelings in their poetry. They wrote about feeling discouraged, afraid, and remorseful. At times, they even felt abandoned by God, and some psalms carry a tone of frustration or desperation. If you’ve ever felt that way, reading the Psalms can help you know that you aren’t the only one. But you’ll also find psalms that can encourage you when you’re having such feelings, because the psalmists also praised the Lord for His goodness, marveled at His power, and rejoiced in His mercy. They knew that we are burdened by evil and sin but that the Lord is “good, and ready to forgive” (Psalm 86:5). They understood that having faith in the Lord doesn’t mean that you’ll never struggle with anxiety, sin, or fear. It means that you know who to turn to when you do." (emphasis added)

I love the faith that we find in the people of the scriptures. They know that they can always turn to God. They know that He will always give them peace. They know that He will never leave them, nor forsake them. They know that their relationship with Him is as that of a parent and child, and that the love they feel from Him is constant, and will never go away, no matter what is going on in their life. 

As humans, we are imperfect. We make mistakes in many, many ways, but God's mercy is for us all, and covers everything. The important thing to remember is that God loves us as we are, but He also loves us as He knows we can become. Everything we go through, and everything He teaches us, is to help us become more like Him and His Son. We read in Matthew 5 of how to become like Him.

3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

In Mosiah 18: 8-9, we read:

8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life.

I wanted to show a few examples of Jesus exemplifying the characteristics in Matthew 5 that we are taught to be like. Jesus has never asked us to do or be something that He has not had to do or be.

Starting with "Blessed are the poor in spirit", this meaning is those who are humble.

We see Jesus humbling Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane. Matthew 26:39 says, "39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Jesus knew He needed to do this for us, but He also experienced what we feel every time we experience hardships. We never want to go through the refiner's fire, but as we humble ourselves and recognize that we do need to experience the changes that will come to us as we go through our hardships, we draw closer to God, and come to know Him in new ways that we never would have before.

"Blessed are they that mourn."

In John 11: 35, "Jesus wept." We see Jesus mourn with Mary and Martha for the death of their brother, Lazarus, who was also Jesus' dear friend. We see Jesus mourn with Mary and Martha, but He also mourns for His friend. Jesus shows us how important it is to mourn with those who mourn, and comfort them, but He also shows us how important it is for us to mourn personally.

"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake"; "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake."

Jesus is persecuted, reviled, scourged, hit, spit upon, and crucified by men who do not believe in Him, or His Father. He knows they are wrong, but He also knows two things: that one, no matter what He says or does, they will still not believe Him; and that two, He needs to finish His mission on earth so that He can be there for us in all our times of turmoil, persecution, and all other ways that we will suffer in our lives. 

Jesus has always stood with those who mourned, comforted those in need of comfort, and He has always stood as a witness of God, no matter what He was going through. 

I am so grateful for my Savior, and for His love and example of how to do and be what He has asked of us. I am so grateful for His love and mercy in all things. I am so grateful for all of the experiences of His people in the scriptures, and for the love and comfort that I find in connecting with them, and seeing the Lord's hands in their lives. It is not always easy to see His hand in our life when we are going through it, but I am grateful to see His hand in the lives of His people in the scriptures, and His hand in my life as I look back.

I hope you have a wonderful Sabbath Day and a wonderful week. I hope you are able to see Him in your life this week, and see where He was in your life last week.

Xoxo

Mattie

Holy Week - Easter Sunday

Happy Easter, my family and friends! "He is not here, for He is risen!"

 

My blogpost from last year included a piece of art I created and can be found here. 

This year, we had a simple Easter. We watched Music and the Spoken Word this morning and then I went to choir practice before church. After church, we went to my parents' for dinner. When we got home, we went for a walk. It was simple, but sweet. 

Yesterday we were able to visit the free He is Risen exhibit in Pleasant Grove, Utah. I have included a few pictures I took and I wanted to talk about my experience there. As we walked slowly through the line and spent time at each part of the exhibit, I was able to ponder and think about the scriptures they had posted, as well as of the physical aspects of the sacrifice that Jesus experienced. 

The cross was much smaller than I anticipated. I expect that is because of the fact that I have never before encountered a cross, but somehow this surprise made the sacrifice that much more real. 

The Cross

The Sign on Jesus' Cross

Plaque for the Sign on the Cross

Every portion of the exhibit had a plaque filled with information about the portion of the exhibit. It was really interesting to see exactly how the sign would have looked with the different languages saying, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews".

I didn't take a picture of the scourge whip that was shown, but I thought it was interesting that the plaque said that, because of how historically accurate its creation was, it is considered a real scourge whip. The whip ends were covered with bits of metal, bone, and "sheep's knuckles". The metal bits were meant to bring the blood to the surface (probably creating bruises), and the bones and sheep's knuckles were then meant to cut the flesh and cause terrible bleeding and pain. Often, the prisoners would be wrapped in burlap afterwards to staunch the bleeding and keep them alive to suffer longer.

Just like how I thought the cross seemed smaller than I anticipated, so, too, did the tomb cause this same feeling. It was much smaller than I anticipated.

As I passed by the tomb opening and peeked in, I was filled with quite a few emotions. Awe, gratitude, love, hope. In seeing the empty tomb, with the cloths He had been wrapped in folded and laying on the bench, I believe I felt as Mary Magdalene did when she went to visit the tomb and expected Jesus to be there, but found an empty tomb. While I did not experience exactly what she did when He said her name, I expect hearing Him say her name filled her whole soul with gratitude, love, and relief, just like seeing that empty tomb also filled my whole soul with gratitude, love, and relief. And just like how I know when He says my name my whole soul will be filled with gratitude, love, and relief.

I hope you had a beautiful Easter with your family and loved ones. I hope that taking the time to remember the last week of Jesus' mortal ministry with me has been as uplifting for you as it has been for me.

Xoxo

Mattie

"Let this cup pass from me."

Yesterday, the topic in sacrament meeting was repentance. One of the speakers shared something really cool that I loved and wanted to share it!

HEBREW/ ARAMAIC WORD STUDY:  THIS CUP – HAKA’  KASA’ הכא כסא  

Matthew 26:39:  “And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”

History is filled with Christians who went to their deaths for the sake of Jesus without a plea on their lips to be spared; some even went facing great torture with joy and praise to the God they love.  So why does it appear as if Jesus is having second thoughts with His fate? The problem lies in the fact that Jesus was praying in Aramaic and the Aramaic word for cup may have another understanding than representing His fate. So just what is the cup in Aramaic?  

The word that is used for cup in Aramaic is the word kasa.  It is identical to the Hebrew word kavas which is also the word found in other Semitic languages that is used for a stork.  The stork was noted for its tender loving care of its young. Even care for young not its own.  Legend has it that during the time of famine, a mother stork will peck her breast till it bleeds and feed her young with her own blood. Legend also teaches that if one of the stork’s chicks died, the mother stork would resurrect its young with its own blood.   

The Semitic mindset would instantly see the wordplay we in the Western world would not. In the garden, Jesus is praying that this kasa cup or its alternative meaning of a nurturing love would pass from Him. In Greek, the word pass is parelthato which means to avert, avoid, or pass over.  But in the Aramaic it is the word avar.  Now avar in Aramaic is the same word in Hebrew and has a wide range of meanings.  The word itself is the picture of a river overflowing onto its banks.  It literally means to be overwhelmed.   Jesus was not praying to get out of this situation but it was this cup or this nurturing, sacrificial love for us that so overwhelmed Him that He could not bear it, just as a parent watching their child suffering and dying in a hospital bed cannot bear to watch the love of their life in such torment.  But it would suggest something else as well.  

Note in verse 37 it says He became sorrowful.  That word sorrowful in the Aramaic is kamar which means to burn or kindle and is used for a burning love or compassion. As Jesus was about to the sacrifice His own life, His entire being was filled with a burning love and compassion for mankind. I believe this sorrow was knowing that even after all His suffering, there would still be millions upon millions who would not only reject His sacrifice, but scorn it and mock it was well. 

When He asked, “If it is possible let this cup or this nurturing love avar me,” I believe He meant “let it overwhelm me.”  The words if possible in Aramaic is shekev which literally means if this happens.  In other words, Jesus is saying that if this is to happen tonight, then: “Let this burning love, this nurturing love for mankind just overwhelm me, so overwhelm me that it will be all I will think about.”  Just as the thousands upon thousands of martyrs throughout the centuries thought only of Jesus and seeing His face as they faced their torture and death, Jesus thought only of us and that He would see our face when His torture and life would end. 

Recently, within the last couple of years, I have been intrigued about comparing the English version of the Bible with the Hebrew/Greek/Aramaic translations (because of some of my religion classes at BYU). So when the speaker was reading this, I really loved the interpretation of Matthew 26! It makes sense that there is a deeper meaning behind "let this cup pass": "Let this nurturing love for mankind overwhelm me so that it will be all I think about."

Jesus' love for us was what got Him through His pain. And His love for us is what can get us through our pain. I am so grateful for His love, and that He is there for me when I need Him.

I never thought that I would share this, but it's National Infertility Awareness Week, and I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary (or Ovarian) Syndrome (PCOS) a few months ago. It can manifest itself in many different ways, and though I am not ready to go into detail, I just wanted to be vulnerable. Between 5% and 10% of women between the ages of 15 and 44 have PCOS. 

While I am still figuring the ins and outs of my diagnosis, I am grateful to have my husband by my side, and to have my Savior to lean on. 

I hope this week is wonderful for you! Know that you are not alone. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Because of Him.

Happy Easter! I know that my Redeemer lives! I know that Jesus Christ lived, died, and was resurrected to save us all. I am grateful for the reminder that life does not end after death...because of Him.

I am grateful for the knowledge and testimony I have that He lives. So grateful for the chances I have to share my testimony with others. I was able to sing "One by One" in sacrament meeting today and I hope and pray that I really brought the Spirit to the meeting. I know that we are all ministered to one by one, and I know that we will all be able to live again because of Him. I am so grateful that I will be able to see my family and friends who have passed away again someday.

I am grateful for the example of my Savior–throughout His ministry, as well as during His last week here on Earth. He showed so much love and compassion for those who wanted to follow Him. He healed the sick and afflicted, and He loved His followers. But He also showed love for those who wanted to crucify Him...and that is the biggest example of all. He endured all He did because He knew that we needed Him. He was the only one who could do it, and He did it for us. He loved us, and He loved His Father so much, that He was willing to do the Father's will so that we could all have the opportunity to return to live with Heavenly Father and be saved. Jesus Christ knew that not everyone would take advantage of His sacrifice, but He did it for them anyway because He still loved them.

I am grateful for His sacrifice, and for His love for me. I am grateful that He is always there to help me, and that He sends angels here on Earth to be with me, and to love me, and to help me recognize that I am not alone, that I am not unloved, and that I am blessed. I am grateful that He understands what I am going through, and that He is always there to catch me when I fall.

I am grateful for the chance that I have to try and try and try and try again and again and again...because of Him. I am grateful for the chance I have to be with my loved ones again...because of Him. I am grateful for the chance that I have to grow closer to my Father in Heaven...because of Him. I am grateful for the chance I have to learn how to have faith...because of Him. I am grateful for the chance I have to live with my family forever...because of Him.

This is from 2012 but is a reminder of how much we have grown.
I love my siblings so much and am so grateful
for each of their personalities and what
they bring to our family. 

Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. I can't imagine my life without my brothers and sisters, and I am so grateful for them. I am so grateful that my Heavenly Father has a bigger plan for me. My life isn't always exactly what I want it to be...but I know that it is always what it needs to be.

Happy Easter, friends. "He is not here, for He is risen!"

Xoxo
Mattie

From ashes to beauty.

I had a few questions that were answered in church today. The first was answered when we were singing the sacrament hymn, but I didn't fully realize it until afterwards when I was reflecting on the words of the hymn:

The sacrament hymn today was "Reverently and Meekly Now", which is one of my favorites. One line in particular stood out to me today as I've been sitting here pondering. "E'en forgiven now by me." This song is sung from the point of view of the Savior, and I desperately needed that message today from Him. It brought peace to my heart and I'm grateful that that specific hymn was chosen today, for I needed its message: "Oh forgive, as thou wouldst be E'en forgiven now by me." Forgiving yourself is really hard, harder than forgiving others, sometimes. But because Christ has forgiven me, I can forgive myself, and start over and try again.

One of the other questions was answered in Gospel Doctrine, and it was a reminder piece of advice that I love. We still get credit for trying. Another thing that was said in class today was that "There is value in doing things, even if you don't reach your goal." Piggybacking off of that a little, I had this thought: sometimes we are asked to (prepare to) go through things, and sometimes we don't end up doing those things because God wanted to see how far we were willing to go. And, sometimes we only needed to go down the path to it, and we didn't need to do it. It's a test of our faith, and our trust in Him.

In Relief Society, we talked about President Monson's talk from the October 2013 General Conference entitled, "I Will Not Fail Thee, nor Forsake Thee". We talked about the Provo Tabernacle fire, that happened in December of 2010, and how the Tabernacle was rebuilt into the Provo City Center Temple. We talked about how it was gutted, and everything inside was burned and gone, but then it was rebuilt to be the new beautiful City Center Temple. This was sort of used as an analogy for us–sometimes we go through fires and trials that burn us because they're meant to help us rebuild who we are, and change who we are to become someone better. We go from ashes to beauty. I've seen that in my life. I've gone through a whole bunch of trials that have burned me, and torn me down, and they hurt, but I've changed because of them, and I've grown. I'm stronger, and more confident. I loved this quote from President Monson's talk: "We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were–better than we were, more understanding than what we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had." We talked about how God will bless us in His own time, which is true, but do we believe that He will? Do we choose Him above all else? Do we thank Him for loving us enough to cut us down? For allowing us to change and grow? He knows what we need to do/be, and He knows how to get us there.

My home teachers came today, and they talked about enduring our trials well, and how one of the blessings of enduring our trials well is that other people will be more comfortable around us, because we'll be happier. And I said, basically, that even though I've kind of been having trouble feeling the Spirit lately, I have still been able to look back and see Heavenly Father's hand in my life. I've still been able to see the blessings He's sent me as I've been going through some trials. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that I can still see His blessings. I'm grateful that I can still feel Him.

Xoxo
Mattie

Heading in the right direction.

It's been quite a crazy week. I've been doing a lot of thinking, what with my new job, thoughts of changing my major (again), and other things that have been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. Some of the things that have been going on have sorted themselves out, or given me a temporary solution or plan to move forward. Others have not, however, and I was wondering why until Wednesday night, when I received a blessing. Tuesday I wasn't feeling all that great–I had a stomachache, and actually it's been bothering me on and off for a couple weeks–and slept most of the day before work. Wednesday wasn't much better either, so I asked my friend if he could give me a blessing. Something he said has stuck with me. All my stresses/worries–what I'm going through–are to help me progress and grow. Now, he wasn't necessarily talking about me being sick–I've got a lot more going on in my life than that–but it was a needed reminder. Even though I know that what I go through is to help me grow and learn, I thought that some of the things I am going through right now were brought on by me, and by things I did. It's good to know that–even if that is true–they're to help me be better, and become who I need to be, and who God needs me to be.

I'm not sure when I realized it, but recently I've been thinking that God has been telling me to be patient and trust Him. Just with all that is going on, and all of the uncertainty with decisions I've been trying to make, I feel like He's been telling me to let go and trust Him. It's been really hard sometimes, because I'm not the best at being patient, and I hate not knowing the answers, but it's been good for me. I've been able to find and feel a lot of peace, especially as I've asked for blessings and gone to the temple.

I've also noticed lately that I've been more quiet, more "sit-down-by-myself" or more "sit-with-someone-new", and more of a listener. Which isn't bad at all, but it has been interesting to see how that has changed how I interact with my friends. I've been trying to be more respectful, and I've been trying to interact with all of my friends, not just my normals. :)

I hope that I am a different person now than I was at the beginning of the summer. I'm still working on a whole bunch of things, and some of them are going better than others, but I still have a little bit of the summer to go as I try and become a better version of me. Some of the changes that have occurred have made me feel at ease with myself and in certain social situations. I have faith that I can do everything that I've been hoping to do this summer, and that I can become whom I want to and feel like I need to be.

I'm grateful for my Savior. He has been so constant, and so kind to me as I am working on my goals. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father. He has sent me circumstances that I needed to go through and people that I needed to meet in order to help me change. It's comforting to know that He is watching out for me, and sees who I can become, and is helping me to become her. Sometimes I think she is so far away, but some days...some days, I think I can see her. And that brings me joy, because it means I'm going in the right direction.

I hope you've had a wonderful Sabbath Day and that you have a great week!

Xoxo
Mattie

He will stand by your side.

I am so grateful for my bishop and his wife. They spoke in sacrament meeting today and I heard a great deal that I needed to hear. I love them so much! 
Sister Anderson talked about priorities, and gave a list of eight things to help you keep your life balanced (from a talk by Elder Ballard, found here). I loved a few of them more than others so I'm going to share those few:

• Set attainable goals. Set short-term goals that you can do.
• Build relationships. Stay close to family and friends. They can help keep you grounded.
• Study the scriptures. She also mentioned an article in the New Era by President Monson where he said, "if you will study the scriptures diligently, your power to avoid temptation and to receive direction of the Holy Ghost in all you do will be increased."

When going through these things to help keep your life balanced, remember to turn to your Heavenly Father. He will help you and be there for you when things get hard, and when you fail the first seven times to study your scriptures every day. 

This past week and a half or so has been insanely crazy. I had many things to do, there were many things forgotten...all at once. It wasn't a super great time. The last few days have been better–less full of things to do–but still not 100% great. Even so, I got through it. I am grateful for my Savior, who stood by my side through all the tears and frustrations of the week. I'm grateful that everything turned out all right. I've never had such a horrible week start out the way it did, and then everything ended up turning out all right. I spaced some important things that I was able to make up, and I was able to get a lot of my homework done, even when I felt like I didn't fully understand what was going on. I'm grateful for this three-day weekend, and for all the time I have to catch up on some things. I'm grateful the messages shared in church today that I needed. I'm grateful for all of my plans that are falling into place–a sure sign that I'm doing the right things and have the help, love, and reassurance of my Heavenly Father. I'm not sure where He is taking me, but I trust Him with all of my heart. 

Xoxo
Mattie

Do you have room for Him in your life?

So today during the sacrament I was just thinking about my Savior and how grateful I am for Him.

I am ever so grateful for the sacrifice of my Savior. Too often I have made the same mistakes, but He is there to pick me up every time. I've found that change is hard by yourself, so I am grateful that I can count on Jesus Christ to be there for me. He helps me, supports me, and loves me, even when I feel like I don't deserve an of it. He brings peace to my life when I'm stressed, and He saves me when I'm drowning. There isn't any one that I trust like I trust Jesus. I'm grateful that I can depend on and turn to Him in times of stress in my life. 

Not that I didn't love any of the lessons I learned in church today–I did–but I had a few Facebook memories pop up today and I wanted to share and talk about them instead of the lessons in church today.

The memories are two articles about Joseph, and what we know about him and his role in Jesus' life. I highly recommend reading them–the second one is actually a video though. The first article can be found here and the video one found here. We don't know very much about Joseph, but from what we read of him in the few times he's mentioned in the New Testament, we know that he was obedient to God's commandments. We know that he was a just man, and compassionate, and very loyal.

I wanted to talk about Joseph because he helped raise Jesus–he taught Him how to be a carpenter, and how to work hard. I think that much of Jesus' work ethic comes from Joseph. I think that His tenderness and love comes from Mary, but His work ethic comes from watching and learning from Joseph. His obedience and compassion comes from both. I don't think that Jesus could have had a better set of parents to teach and help Him grow. His relationship with His mother was very sweet and beautiful, and it's possible that His relationship with Joseph was one of admiration. I believe that Joseph was very good to Mary, and Jesus saw that, and knew that Joseph was very loyal, and kind, and was a wonderful example.

In addition to these two articles about Joseph, I also wanted to share this music video. Very sweet and very humbling to think about. There was no room for Him in the inn. Our lives are crazy and busy all the time. Do you have room for Him in your life?

I'm so grateful for my Savior, and for His mother, Mary, and for Joseph, and for all that He learned from them. What wonderful examples they were to Him, and are to me.

I know that this week is going to be crazy for us all as we finish preparing for Christmas next Sunday, but I want us all to take a moment or two each day to remember the reason for the season, and the reason for every day. Remember why we have a Savior, and how we can change for the better this upcoming year. I hope everyone has a very safe and beautiful holiday season!

Xoxo
Mattie

My birthday adventure.

Well, yesterday was my birthday!!! I had a great day! It went like this:

I had orchestra rehearsal in the morning and my friend got me a couple of cute things; then when I read her card later, I cried a little (for the first time but definitely not the last time I'd cry that day).

So then I went to spend a couple of hours with my family; I got the new Cinderella movie!!! My parents are going to buy me a couple of tickets to a BYU arts production so I can take a friend and they are also going to buy me a new camera. I'm so excited!! Anyway, after we had treats (my mom made mini funfetti cheesecakes) my parents took me out to lunch, and then I was home for about another hour while I tried to work on stuff for the new year of college. During that time, one of my friends going to a different college called me, and so I got to talk to her for a bit, which was fun.

Then my dad took me back to my dorm, and I got ready for stake conference really quick and then I headed up to the Joseph Smith Auditorium for that. I heard a lot of messages that I needed to hear, and as we were singing the closing hymn, "How Firm A Foundation", I started to tear up a little about halfway through the second verse, but I totally lost it at the third verse, and I couldn't sing it. There was an older man sitting a seat over from me and he patted me on the shoulder and so of course I felt really self-conscious then and I tried to stop crying and I tried to sing the last couple of lines of the song, but it just wasn't happening. I just really needed to hear the message in that verse, and my Heavenly Father knew that.

After that, I met up with my friends for dinner and then we headed to BYU's Ballet production of Alice in Wonderland. It was so good!!! I had a great time. After the ballet, we headed back to our dorm and got changed and then we headed downstairs to the basement–my friend had made me a cake, and my friends sang to me and we had cake (one of my friends gave me a card) and chatted for awhile before we all had homework and things to do.

At this point, I wrote in my journal about my birthday (it took up like three pages) and some more crying commenced because it had been a super great day and I was just an emotional mess (as always ;) ) when I got to thinking about it all, and about the things that my friends had written in their cards. I have been having a bit of a hard time lately, what with still trying to figure out when to do my readings and things for my homework, amongst other things, and the things that my friends said in their cards to me were sweet words of love and encouragement that I needed. I'm so grateful for their examples to me, and for their love. Yesterday was an amazing day because of my friends and family, and I'm so grateful for all of the people in my life. <3 <3

Today I'm blessed and grateful.

Today I'm grateful for my hallmates. We seriously have the best hall—I'm not kidding. We always have the best time when we get together, and everyone is always smiling, and everyone is so kind to each other. I'm so grateful to be a part of this hall. I love these girls so much and I'm so grateful that I have been able to get to know them.

Today was a special day. I performed in sacrament meeting today, and I was accompanied by two of the girls from my hall (who are two super talented and absolutely gorgeous girls), and I feel so blessed! I was SUPER nervous about singing—all week I was super excited but today, when I saw my name in the program, I swear my heart was going to pound through my chest—and I prayed a LOT this morning that I would be able to sing well and that I would calm down. I feel like I started off kind of weak at first but as we kept going, I grew more confident and I was able to sing strongly, and I felt like I was being supported by angels, and by the end of the song, I felt like I could conquer the world. It was such a spiritual experience and I'm grateful that I got to experience it with my friends. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I had to bear my testimony of the Savior through the song "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul". It's one of my favorites and I'm so grateful for Him and all that He has done and does for me.

Mattie's guide to being happy, kind, and Christlike.

Always be optimistic.

Just smile. 

Thank everyone. 

Don't forget to be kind. 

Never make someone feel bad for doing something nice when the time isn't ideal for them (or you). 

Xylophones are fun to mess around on. If you get a chance, do it! 

Hey, wait! Don't forget to be patient! That's important. 

Respect others, even if you disagree with what they are doing/believe in. It's their decision/belief. Not yours. 

Be available. If someone needs to talk, and they turn to you, listen. They came to you because they trust you. 

Love everyone. Someone may not have someone to love them, and someone may feel unloved. Don't let them feel like they don't have someone who loves them, and don't let them feel unloved. 

To sum up: Be optimistic, be happy, be grateful, be kind, be compassionate, be fun, be patient, be respectful, be available, and be loving. :)

This world is going to get a whole lot worse before it ever gets better—though I'm not sure that it is going to get better—so it's important to remember that we are all people. We all have problems and we all make mistakes. If everyone was just kind to everyone, and wasn't mean to each other, all of our problems would be over. So be kind. Even if no one else is. Be respectful. Even if they're not. Smile. You could make someone's day. Just be as Christlike and compassionate as you possibly can. You'll be blessed. :)

End of November gratitude.

Hard to believe it's already the end of November!! I'm so grateful for my family and friends and for all they do and for their examples to me. I am grateful for the Thanksgiving season to get me in the mood for gratitude and I'm so excited for the Christmas season to celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for Him and for all He's done for me, and for His love and faith in me. I love Him and am grateful that He believes in me and wants me to return to live with our Heavenly Father.