The touch of the Master's hand.

Going to the temple always brings blessings to my life. I am grateful for the time that I took to go to the temple yesterday. I received a lot of peace, and some answers, and I am just mainly very grateful for the love of my Father in Heaven. It has been quite a week, and though it didn't go the way that I wanted it to, I know that it went the way that it was supposed to. Though I don't know what the future holds in store for me, I know that as long as I take time to strengthen and develop my relationship with my Savior and my Heavenly Father, everything will eventually fall into place, and things will work out the way that they're supposed to. 

I am pretty sure that I received some revelation this weekend that is going to be challenging for me to follow. But that is the way that it is. Receiving revelation isn't always going to be comfortable. In fact, most of the time, it's not going to be comfortable at all. Change is HARD. Change can be painful. But He will help you find a way to achieve the change that you need to grow and progress and be better. 

Every week, I make mistakes, and every week I must try again. I am grateful for the love of a Savior who supports and sustains me when I am broken and unable to do so myself. Some days are harder than others, but as long as I have the support of my Savior and Heavenly Father, I will not fail. 

There is this poem that I LOVE and Kyle read it in sacrament meeting today, so I was thinking about it all day, and I wanted to share it with you. 

The Touch of the Master's Hand

~

'Twas battered and scarred,

And the auctioneer thought it

hardly worth his while

To waste his time on the old violin,

but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people", he cried,

"Who starts the bidding for me?"

"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"

"Two dollars, who makes it three?"

"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three,"

But, No,

From the room far back a gray bearded man

Came forward and picked up the bow,

Then wiping the dust from the old violin

And tightening up the strings,

He played a melody, pure and sweet

As sweet as the angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer

With a voice that was quiet and low,

Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"

As he held it aloft with its' bow.

"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"

"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"

"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,

Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,

But some of them cried,

"We just don't understand."

"What changed its' worth?"

Swift came the reply.

"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

"And many a man with life out of tune

All battered and bruised with hardship

Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd

Much like that old violin

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,

A game and he travels on.

He is going once, he is going twice,

He is going and almost gone.

But the Master comes,

And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,

The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought

By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.

- Myra Brooks Welch

The message of this poem is so beautiful. It's an analogy for us. We might seem, feel, or be broken, bruised, and worthless...but in the hands of our Father in Heaven, and in our Savior...we can become beautiful, whole, and priceless. It might seem like we are far beyond His reach, and that we can never return, and that we can never be whole or clean again, but that couldn't be further from the truth. It might take time, but He will tighten up our strings, tighten up our bow, and–if needed–restring and repair the violin and bow, and He will use us to make the most beautiful and mesmerizing melody. 

Kyle also said something that I absolutely loved...He said, "Where justice and mercy meet is the love of Christ." I loved that. The Atonement of Jesus Christ, and His love for us, is the balance of justice and mercy. He gave it all so that we could return to live with our Father in Heaven again. 

It isn't always easy to come back, but it is so easy to find Him. You just have to look. He is a part of our every day life and we shouldn't be afraid to look for Him. He is not just in our lives once every few pages. He's consistently there, and recognizing Him in our lives brings us joy. 

I know that God has touched my life in the most beautiful ways. I know that I haven't always done what He has wanted me to do...but He has blessed me anyway. As I have tried to live my life as He would have me do, I have felt His hand. I have felt His inspiration, and His loving touch. I have felt Him tighten my strings, and restring me when I was broken. I am practicing each week and He is tuning me up. He is preparing me for the final concert, and I know that with His help, I will be ready. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Mine is going to be long and very exhausting but I have faith that I can make it to the end! God loves you and so do I!

Xoxo

Mattie

That's all we can do.

Well my first week at camp is over!!! Man has it been a CRAZY week!! There's been a lot of things happening, but it's been really fun overall! I'm so tired and sore but I'm sure that it will get better in the upcoming week(s) as I get used to all the physical activity that my body is going through. 

There are a lot of things that I learned this week already! Here's a few of them:

1) It's difficult to cook for a ton of teenage boys!! They really like to eat!

2) All boys have the same sense of humor. They think they're so funny but after the first few times, my response is just a groan of annoyance. 

3) Every little thing will be all right. Somehow you'll make it through the day. 

4) Sometimes you have to take a day because you're not feeling well, and that's okay. It's better to rest and build up your strength than to run yourself weary. 

I decided to start reading the Book of Mormon from the very top this week. And I wanted to include the introduction, the testimonies, and the brief explanation of the Book of Mormon. And I discovered something I'd never noticed before. In the brief introduction, it states that, "The original title page, immediately preceding the contents pages, is taken from the plates and is part of the sacred text. Introductions in a non-italic typeface, such as in 1 Nephi...are also part of the sacred text." I had always known that the chapter headings were an addition to the book to let the reader know what's going on. I had little to no idea (AKA either absolutely no idea, or I hadn't consciously made the connection) that the title page and non-italic headings were actually part of the gold plates. I think that's so cool.

I was reading in Joseph Smith's testimony the other day and one thing that I noticed that I have never noticed before was the fact that Joseph actually saw Moroni go up into heaven! I think that that's so amazing! One thing that I really admire about Joseph is just how much he tried to obey God, and how hard he tried to learn from his mistakes. He wasn't perfect, but he really tried to do his best. And that's all that we can do. 

Don't give up. Just because you've made a miatake—big or small—doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. It's just a stumbling block...a learning curve/experience that will help you become a better person. Pick yourself up—or ask for someone to help you up—and try again. Because that's all we can do. Try again. We're not perfect, and we're going to make mistakes. Sometimes we'll make the same mistakes over and over again. Just remember: You are loved. God wants you to prevail. He loves you and trusts you, and wants you to come home to Him. And He is going to do all He can to make sure that you can come home if you want to. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Summer is always a great opportunity to try something new and to have a lot of fun! I'm grateful for the experiences that I've already had this week and I'm looking forward to having many more this summer! I hope you guys do something fun this week!! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

Look forward with faith.

Well first off, I'm happy to be back in Provo! I loved being home but am grateful to be going back to school and work, and having a set schedule. I almost didn't make it back though haha we had some car troubles yesterday trying to run an errand but I made it!
It's been almost a week since the new year began and I am really proud of myself because I have been writing in my journal and reading the scriptures every day so far! I have felt the influence in my life. I am grateful for the new year, and for the new week, giving me a chance to start over and try again. Try to be stronger, kinder, more loving and compassionate. I am grateful for the example of my Savior, and of Nephi, who was strong and had faith and still believed, even when his brothers bound him up.
Life comes with all sorts of challenges we don't expect or want, but God is with us always, so we don't have to go through them alone. 

In our program today, there was a quote by President Thomas S. Monson, who recently passed away, and I loved the quote and so I wanted to share it here. It is, "Although it is imperative that we choose wisely, there are times when we will make foolish choices. The gift of repentance, provided by our Savior, enables us to correct our course settings, that we might return to the path which will lead us to that celestial glory we seek." I loved this!! Even though we make mistakes–sometimes drastic ones that have terrible consequences–WE CAN REPENT AND RETURN. We can start again. We can try again. We can change again.

There were a few things people said in their testimonies in sacrament meeting today that I loved and wanted to share:
-God is mindful of you.
-Do your best and God will take care of the rest.
-No matter what happens, everything will be okay.
-Joy is available to us through the grace of Jesus Christ.

I loved these because these are exactly what I needed to hear today. Life is hard, and challenging, and difficult, and for the longest time I thought I could handle it by myself. But I found out that I can't. I really do need my Savior. And I forget that God is mindful of me sometimes. Sometimes I feel alone, and lost, and forgotten, especially when I pray for God to send someone to me when I am feeling low, and no one comes. But in those moments, I found strength. In those moments, I thought I needed someone, and maybe there were times when I really did, but because I didn't have anyone, I found that someone in myself.

Gospel Principles was amazing, as always! Here are some of my favorite snippets:
-Your faith is enough. Whatever you have is enough.
-Faith is imperfect, but His grace is NOT.
-You are enough. Your faith is enough, your belief is enough. As long as it moves you forward, it is enough.
-Faith pushes you to progress, not feel inadequate.
-Sometimes God just trusts us to make a decision. He gave us our agency, and sometimes we are just picking between two good things and we can choose. He trusts us. So make a decision and go to Him with your decision.

Relief Society was wonderful and I loved this part of a scripture that was shared. It's Genesis 19:17, and the part that we focused on was, "Look not behind thee." The past should not be our focus. "The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." ~Rafiki. We need to learn from the past, but keep moving forward.

Carrie shared part of a quote that I first heard a long time ago, but always loved. She said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." We are afraid that we actually CAN do all these things and it holds us back. But we shouldn't let it. We need to look forward with faith.

I am so grateful for the lessons today. Wonderful, wonderful messages were shared, and I learned a lot. I wanted to share something about my scripture study last night. I was reading in 1 Nephi 6, and noticed as Nephi was talking to Laman and Lemuel that he said, "How is it that ye have forgotten" three times! I made a note in my notes about it. I said, "There is a reason the Lord tells us to remember all the time. When we forget, we become as Laman and Lemuel–bitter and resentful, and inconsiderate and not compassionate." We need to remember all that the Lord has done for us, and hold on to those memories when we are low. We need to have faith that there will be new blessings, new tender mercies, and new spiritual experiences. When we are down, we need to remember what the Lord has done for us, and we need to remember who we are, and have faith that things will look up. Your faith doesn't have to be something big, either. It could be accepting the fact that you have doubts. It could be accepting that you don't know everything. Whatever your faith is, it is enough.

Remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH. God takes you as you are and He helps you become better, stronger, kinder, wiser, more compassionate, more loving. He blesses you and uses you to bless others. You have a part in His plan, and He has a plan for you. He loves you very much and is always waiting with open arms for you to turn to Him again.

Xoxo
Mattie

"The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay."

I'm not perfect.

Sometimes people get on my nerves and I get really annoyed. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I do. I try not to let it show, but sometimes my temper gets the best of me, and my words come out biting, short, clipped. I wonder how it makes them feel. Does it bother them? Can they ever tell? Is it all in my head, and I just think it's obvious and sounds that way? I think sometimes they can tell. It makes me feel bad, using my words in a not-so-nice way. I know how it feels. I know how it hurts. But tempers are a fickle thing, and I'm only human. So I'm bound to make a mistake, have a misstep. All that really matters is that I repent and try again. And again. And again. Thankfully, my Savior is there to give me a hand. I couldn't do it without Him. Someday, I'll be perfect. But, for now, I'll just apologize and try again.


Church today was amazing!!

The choir sang today and it was so good!! I got a lot of compliments on the beauty of the piece, and how it brought the Spirit, and that made me feel really happy, because that is the point of my calling, and the point of the choir's musical numbers: to bring the Spirit. So when I get people thanking me, and telling me the choir sounded beautiful, it makes me happy. It makes me feel like I'm making a difference. :)

The topic in sacrament meeting today was conversion. There were a few things that were said that really stood out to me. Conversion takes time; it's a process. Being converted and having a testimony aren't necessarily the same thing. The Lord expects us to have faith, and we must do all we can to fortify ourselves spiritually.

In Sunday School, we talked about the pioneers. Someone said that a major part of understanding our trials is by being humble enough to ask God why we have these trials. Trials force us to be less complacent in life, and make a decision. Nate shared a quote that I loved, "The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company", and I feel like the beginning portion in italics can be applied to us. The price we pay to become acquainted with God is worth it, and is a privilege to pay. It's so amazing that He trusts us and loves us enough to let us become acquainted with Him!

Relief Society was awesome! My roommate shared a few questions that I loved and think can apply to life in a lot of different ways:
-Are you trying to do this by yourself?
-Do you need to?
-Will you let Him help you?
She said that we are yoked to Christ, and He goes one by one, step by step, and from grace to grace.

There is a mission for us. There's a mission for me. And a mission for you. We are all here for a purpose. God wants us to try and, He wants us to work hard. And He will be there for us, and He will bless us.

I'm so thankful that I have learned so much this past month, from General Conference, and stake conference, and ward conference. There has been a lot I've learned, and needed to hear, and needed reminders of. I'm needed here. I'm loved. I'm wanted. And I need to learn to love and accept myself. I'm working on it, and I think it's going really well.

I hope you have a wonderful Sabbath Day! I love you and wish you the best week!

Xoxo
Mattie

From ashes to beauty.

I had a few questions that were answered in church today. The first was answered when we were singing the sacrament hymn, but I didn't fully realize it until afterwards when I was reflecting on the words of the hymn:

The sacrament hymn today was "Reverently and Meekly Now", which is one of my favorites. One line in particular stood out to me today as I've been sitting here pondering. "E'en forgiven now by me." This song is sung from the point of view of the Savior, and I desperately needed that message today from Him. It brought peace to my heart and I'm grateful that that specific hymn was chosen today, for I needed its message: "Oh forgive, as thou wouldst be E'en forgiven now by me." Forgiving yourself is really hard, harder than forgiving others, sometimes. But because Christ has forgiven me, I can forgive myself, and start over and try again.

One of the other questions was answered in Gospel Doctrine, and it was a reminder piece of advice that I love. We still get credit for trying. Another thing that was said in class today was that "There is value in doing things, even if you don't reach your goal." Piggybacking off of that a little, I had this thought: sometimes we are asked to (prepare to) go through things, and sometimes we don't end up doing those things because God wanted to see how far we were willing to go. And, sometimes we only needed to go down the path to it, and we didn't need to do it. It's a test of our faith, and our trust in Him.

In Relief Society, we talked about President Monson's talk from the October 2013 General Conference entitled, "I Will Not Fail Thee, nor Forsake Thee". We talked about the Provo Tabernacle fire, that happened in December of 2010, and how the Tabernacle was rebuilt into the Provo City Center Temple. We talked about how it was gutted, and everything inside was burned and gone, but then it was rebuilt to be the new beautiful City Center Temple. This was sort of used as an analogy for us–sometimes we go through fires and trials that burn us because they're meant to help us rebuild who we are, and change who we are to become someone better. We go from ashes to beauty. I've seen that in my life. I've gone through a whole bunch of trials that have burned me, and torn me down, and they hurt, but I've changed because of them, and I've grown. I'm stronger, and more confident. I loved this quote from President Monson's talk: "We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were–better than we were, more understanding than what we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had." We talked about how God will bless us in His own time, which is true, but do we believe that He will? Do we choose Him above all else? Do we thank Him for loving us enough to cut us down? For allowing us to change and grow? He knows what we need to do/be, and He knows how to get us there.

My home teachers came today, and they talked about enduring our trials well, and how one of the blessings of enduring our trials well is that other people will be more comfortable around us, because we'll be happier. And I said, basically, that even though I've kind of been having trouble feeling the Spirit lately, I have still been able to look back and see Heavenly Father's hand in my life. I've still been able to see the blessings He's sent me as I've been going through some trials. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that I can still see His blessings. I'm grateful that I can still feel Him.

Xoxo
Mattie

Make it a lifestyle, not a checklist.

I had the opportunity to sit in church by myself this morning and I was thinking about this during the sacrament: This weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with my mom's side of the family at our family reunion. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that families can be together forever though the sealing power in the temple. I love my crazy, wonderful family and can't imagine life without them. I look forward to the day when I can be sealed to my future husband for time and all eternity. I am so thankful for the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, which makes correction, perfection, resurrection, and eternal families possible. <3

Here's some messages I heard throughout today (and some I came up with because of something I heard) that I loved and wanted to share:
-The Lord is there to save us when we walk towards Him. Even when we doubt, He still saves us. He will always save us.
-In striving to be better, we need to rise above challenges and trials. They are tailored uniquely to us. Even if someone has gone through something similar, they do not and cannot understand how you felt during that trial. Only Jesus Christ has, can, and does understand how you feel.
-Ask for opportunities to be better! God will hear you and help you grow.
-Mistaks are a part uv the jurney. ;)
-"We get credit for trying." (Elder Holland, "Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders among You"). Get back up and try again.
-One of the speakers shared some of the last words his father spoke, and one of the things he said that I loved was that, "Good things come to those who work hard for them."
-Alma 37:6. Take time for the small things that matter.
-Finding how the Lord communicates with you is so essential.
-An overall message of the Book of Mormon is to be spiritually born again and again and again (We are human, and the natural man is sometimes overpowering, and we have to strive to do right and be spiritually born again).
-Believing is so important. We need to have faith and believe.
-Just believing is okay. There is nothing wrong with believing and not having a knowledge of something.
-Strive to be worthy always so you may attend the temple.
-In following the commandments and trying to be worthy to attend the temple: Strive. Try. Make it a lifestyle, not a checklist. (I loved that last line. It applies to many aspects of the Gospel)
-The work we do in the temple is not just for us. It's for those who have gone before us.
-Don't take for granted the things you see every day.

In Relief Society, I shared a story of when I went to the temple this past year. One of my friends asked if I wanted to go with her and some others, and I said yes because I did. It was a great evening–I felt seen, loved, and wanted, and I received answers to my prayers. It was a very spiritual experience and I will never forget it. <3

I'm so thankful for inspired messages and comments. I heard many things today that I loved and that helped me in many ways. I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father, who knows what I need to hear and how. I'm so thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and for His atoning sacrifice, because without Him I would not be who I am today. He has helped me heal and grow in a way that I would not have been able to do by myself. I am still growing and healing, but I know that I can do it with the help of my Savior. <3 I know that you can do it, too. He is there for you through everything, and if you ever want to talk, I am willing to listen, and I want you to know that your Heavenly Father will always listen to you. He hears you–every word.

Xoxo
Mattie

Patience and love.

I am constantly having to work on my patience. It's something I struggle with. Because I have eight younger siblings—most of whom don't listen to me at times—it's something I need to work on. Four of my brothers are only little, and I need to be more patient with them. Two of them are a little bigger but they know better and sometimes I get frustrated because they don't do what they're supposed to or they don't listen, but I still need to be more patient. My sisters are older than most of the boys: one is rebellious at times and the other is not yet a teen, but I still need to be patient. Patience is something I struggle with sometimes, but most especially at home. I need to learn to be like Jesus and love my siblings. I need to be patient, and kind, and caring. There may be some days that are better than others and some may be worse. I just need to remember that:

1) Heavenly Father loves me with all my flaws, and He also loves my siblings with all of theirs. 

2) Heavenly Father must be the king of patience because He works with imperfect people all day long, including me. 

So, because Heavenly Father loves me and works with me all day, I need to learn patience and love my siblings, even with their imperfections. Even if they think I'm annoying because of what I do, I need to be kinder and step up and be the big sister and the good example. Even if they don't listen to me, I still need to be there for them. I need to let them know that I will always love them. I need to let them know that they can come to me at ANY time for ANY thing and I will not judge. And I can start by being patient. 

The Lord has a plan.

So I tried out for the talent show on Wednesday. Today I found that I didn't make it. And that's okay; there's always next year and I guess that there must be something else I need to do. Today I also tried out for choir for next year and I really hope I get in! The choir teacher said I sounded beautiful and she asked me when I have orchestra, so...*crosses fingers* I hope I got in!! If not, well...I'll be in dismay, and I may cry, but life goes on. I must be needed somewhere else if I don't get in. Also, just as a side note, I've had several friends say that they're sure that I'll get in because I have a good/great voice/talent, so I really hope they're right about me getting in! I tried out for two choirs; I'd be pleased with either. I know The Lord has a plan for me, and if the talent show (and choir) aren't in it, I can't wait to see what is!!!

The winning point.

Sometimes it is oh-so-very-hard to think and do and say the right things. And sometimes I fail. Epically. But I get right back up on that pony and I try again. And again. And again. It usually depends on where my brain train goes. Anyway. But I try so very hard to keep my brain empty of bad thoughts. And I try so very hard to say nice things and be nice to people. And I try extra hard to do the right things, even if it doesn't benefit me. And sometimes I fail. Epically. But more often than not, I win, fabulously. And those battles are the best kind. Not because I won (the battle), but because I won (in my heart). Does that make sense? So, say you've got a battle about saying kind words versus not saying kind words. And say, on Sunday you were so, so good about saying kind words, and on Monday, and Tuesday. But on Wednesday you failed. You called your best friend or someone close to you an idiot, because of something they did. And then you apologized, said you didn't mean it, 'twas a slip of the tongue, they forgave you, and then you guys went on your way. But then on Thursday, you were saying kind words again. You won this battle, not because it was four out of five, but because you had a change of heart; you understood the principle, you had experienced both sides, and you understood which one was the better one. That's the winning point. You win, and you understand the principle, and why the choice is the better one.