He answers you in unexpected ways.

Loved today's lessons. Not quite what I was looking for but they were still great. :)

My thoughts during the sacrament today were short but sweet:

I've had much better luck reading my scriptures and praying this week. Still not 100% perfect but I'm working on it. :) I am so grateful for my Savior and for His love and grace. This past week was weird and started off okay (I think...I don't remember) but didn't end quite as well. I hope that I will find answers today as to why things happened/didn't happened. 

I was looking for answers but didn't exactly get the answers I was expecting. I did get answers today but just not what I thought I would get or that I wanted.

The topic in sacrament meeting today was conversion, which is a great topic and I learned some new things.
-We need our Savior to change. We can only do so much by ourselves; we can't fully change in the way that our Heavenly Father knows we can without our Savior. 
-You have to be born again/converted in order to inherit the kingdom of God.
Three things in order to have personal conversion:
-Listen (to the prophets, Holy Ghost, personal revelation, etc.)
-Commit (commitment is often a mental process)
-Do (what's a commitment if we don't act?)
-As we're converted we'll find ourselves doubting less.
-What is your attitude through trials? Do you try to rely on the Lord, or do you complain that you have to go through it?
-Yield your heart to Him daily. Conversion is a daily lifetime commitment.

We talked about baptism in Gospel Principles today. Someone said something interesting that I'd never thought about before. We were talking about one of the reasons for baptism is for a remission of sins. Someone said that when she thinks about remission, she thinks about cancer remission, and how that means it (the cancer) may come back. And you need to take care of yourself. And the same is for the remission of sins–they may come back so take care of yourself. Keep trying. You can get better over time. Another interesting thing that I suppose I should have figured out by myself was that strait (as in the strait and narrow) doesn't mean "straight". It means like rigorous, an uphill battle. It will not be easy. But it will be worth it.

In Relief Society we talked about the doctrine of Christ. Which is:
-Faith in Christ and His Atonement
-Repentance
-Baptism and the sacrament
-Gift of the Holy Ghost
-Enduring to the end
A couple of things that stood out to me today were:
-repentance is a daily process. And we can't expect more for ourselves than He does.
-if we recognize following the doctrine of Christ is the only way, we will be more inclined to do so.

I definitely wasn't looking for answers in any of the topics covered today, but I found some anyway. Funny how that works. I received an answer more in the way I was looking for yesterday but I wanted more of a confirmation in that way today but I got a different answer instead. I'm blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who knows what I need to hear, even when I was looking for something else. I'm looking forward to my scripture study and prayers this week, as well as trying to find peace. I'm grateful for my friends and family and for their love and support. Life just isn't as sweet without them, and I'm grateful to love and be loved by so many.

Xoxo
Mattie

Make it a lifestyle, not a checklist.

I had the opportunity to sit in church by myself this morning and I was thinking about this during the sacrament: This weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with my mom's side of the family at our family reunion. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that families can be together forever though the sealing power in the temple. I love my crazy, wonderful family and can't imagine life without them. I look forward to the day when I can be sealed to my future husband for time and all eternity. I am so thankful for the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, which makes correction, perfection, resurrection, and eternal families possible. <3

Here's some messages I heard throughout today (and some I came up with because of something I heard) that I loved and wanted to share:
-The Lord is there to save us when we walk towards Him. Even when we doubt, He still saves us. He will always save us.
-In striving to be better, we need to rise above challenges and trials. They are tailored uniquely to us. Even if someone has gone through something similar, they do not and cannot understand how you felt during that trial. Only Jesus Christ has, can, and does understand how you feel.
-Ask for opportunities to be better! God will hear you and help you grow.
-Mistaks are a part uv the jurney. ;)
-"We get credit for trying." (Elder Holland, "Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders among You"). Get back up and try again.
-One of the speakers shared some of the last words his father spoke, and one of the things he said that I loved was that, "Good things come to those who work hard for them."
-Alma 37:6. Take time for the small things that matter.
-Finding how the Lord communicates with you is so essential.
-An overall message of the Book of Mormon is to be spiritually born again and again and again (We are human, and the natural man is sometimes overpowering, and we have to strive to do right and be spiritually born again).
-Believing is so important. We need to have faith and believe.
-Just believing is okay. There is nothing wrong with believing and not having a knowledge of something.
-Strive to be worthy always so you may attend the temple.
-In following the commandments and trying to be worthy to attend the temple: Strive. Try. Make it a lifestyle, not a checklist. (I loved that last line. It applies to many aspects of the Gospel)
-The work we do in the temple is not just for us. It's for those who have gone before us.
-Don't take for granted the things you see every day.

In Relief Society, I shared a story of when I went to the temple this past year. One of my friends asked if I wanted to go with her and some others, and I said yes because I did. It was a great evening–I felt seen, loved, and wanted, and I received answers to my prayers. It was a very spiritual experience and I will never forget it. <3

I'm so thankful for inspired messages and comments. I heard many things today that I loved and that helped me in many ways. I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father, who knows what I need to hear and how. I'm so thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and for His atoning sacrifice, because without Him I would not be who I am today. He has helped me heal and grow in a way that I would not have been able to do by myself. I am still growing and healing, but I know that I can do it with the help of my Savior. <3 I know that you can do it, too. He is there for you through everything, and if you ever want to talk, I am willing to listen, and I want you to know that your Heavenly Father will always listen to you. He hears you–every word.

Xoxo
Mattie

He hears, He waits, He loves.

It wasn't even a question what I was going to focus on today. It was set up so perfectly this morning.

Thoughts during the sacrament:
So I was listening to some music this morning while I was getting ready for church, and one song that played was one that I love called "Every Word" (it can be found here), and I was thinking about the sacrament hymn, "God Our Father Hear Us Pray", and I couldn't help but connect them and think, He hears us. He hears EVERY word. Unspoken, spoken, or hidden deep inside. He hears you. He always hears you. He hears your cries of desperation, your cries of longing, your cries of fear. He hears your prayers–prayers of answers long searched for, of the fear of failure, of pain you wish was gone. He hears it all. Don't think, even for a second, that you mean nothing to Him. Heavenly Father sent His Only Begotten Son to die for us, and Jesus Christ suffered and died for YOU. Our Savior suffered so that He could be with us every step of the way on our path. So don't you even doubt that He hears you, because I know that He does. He hears you, even if the answers don't come right away. I know that He will answer you when He knows that you're ready. And I know that He always hears you.

The main theme that the speakers touched during sacrament meeting was on obedience, which, to me was kind of...not necessarily needed, but needed...I know that doesn't make sense, and I apologize but I'm going to move on.

The first speaker mentioned the fact that Jesus Christ never questioned why, but He did it anyway. He may have questioned how, but never why. He just followed His Father's commandments exactly. Obviously we're human and we make mistakes, so we will never be able to follow the commandments exactly, but we can work on progressing with the help of our Savior. Heavenly Father lets us know the rules–what we need to do and how. He's not going to leave us in the dark; He lets us know, and He waits for us to begin–for the first time, or again.

The second speaker, Brother Huish, said something that I thought was cool. He said just because we may want to defy them (God's commandments) doesn't mean that they don't exist. He also said "Obedience leads to true freedom." He also quoted Joseph Smith, who said, "All persons are entitled to their agency for God has so ordained it". We all have our agency, and we can all choose whether or not to obey God's commandments, or the laws of the land, but we don't get to choose the consequences of our actions. Another thing he said was that, if we are striving to do all that we can, though we won't achieve perfection in this life, we can progress with our Savior's aid. David O. McKay once said, "Self-control means the government and regulation of all our natural appetites, desires, passions, and affections; and there is nothing that gives a man such strength of character as the sense of self-conquest, the realization that he can make his appetites and passions serve him and that he is not a servant to them." Basically, he is saying that we are in charge of our appetites and desires, not the other way around. The last thing that Brother Huish said was that the Savior is the key in all of this. And He is. He is the way, the truth, and the light. He is the only way back to our Heavenly Father.

In Gospel Doctrine we talked about foreordination, and how we are all pre-destined to be someone or do something in this life. We also talked a little about repentance, and how we shouldn't procrastinate repenting; someone said that as soon as they begin the repentance process, they feel better, so why procrastinate that change, and the peace that comes with it? One of the last thoughts I had at the end of the lesson was "God watches and waits for us to come to Him." And He does. Even if you don't go to Him, though, He will still be there, watching out for you.

Relief Society was great!! We're singing in church in a couple weeks and we started to practice the song today. I'm not going to tell you what song it is yet, but it is one of my favorites and it is one I've sung before (several times, if I'm not mistaken). :)

Anyway, the lesson was on Elder Oaks' talk from April 2016 conference entitled "Opposition In All Things". The sister who was teaching (I think her name was Ashley) said that struggle is needed for us to be strengthened, and this is so true. We can't become stronger if we are not tested. In order for us to have alternative choices and be able to use our agency, we need opposition. Trials are specifically tailored to us, to help us grow into who we are supposed to become. I was so grateful for something that one of the sisters said when she related an experience she'd had, which is one that I've kind of had, and we had reached similar conclusions in how to deal with it, and it was just a testimony to me (again) that we all go through similar experiences all the time, even if we don't know it. Even though she and I both want some things that aren't happening for us right now, we both have had similar experiences in getting an answer of sorts, and knowing that we are becoming who we are meant to be. She also said that the Lord doesn't make it easy for us, but He does make it possible. I love that. If we keep on trying, things will work out. Trials remind us that Heavenly Father has a plan for us that is so much bigger than we can even imagine! Trials are meant to refine us, and Heavenly Father will never give us anything to go through that we are not capable of going through. And when it becomes too much for us, we will always be able to lean on our Savior, and on our family and friends.

Heavenly Father loves us so much!! He wants us to be able to return to Him, but we have to become something better than we are now in order for us to be able to live with Him. So He gives us trials, experiences, and people in our lives that will help us become who He knows we can become. I know that He listens. I know that He wants what is best for us, and I know that He will not leave us alone on the path to becoming who we were meant to be. <3