All we can do.

Happy November! Life is flying by. School is keeping me busy, that's for sure!

Today in Relief Society, we talked about President Oaks' talk from this last General Conference entitled Following Christ.

When I was reading the talk prior to the Relief Society discussion, I really liked President Oaks' opening paragraph, where he says, "Following Christ is not a casual or occasional practice. It is a continuous commitment and way of life that should guide us at all times and in all places."

This talk was really beautiful--not only the message but the way it was written and given. 

President Oaks continues his talk by discussing the two great commandments given to us by the Lord: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

President Oaks goes on to talk about how God's commandments "provide the guiding and steadying force in our lives." He talks about a boy and his dad who go fly a kite, and as the kite rises, it tugs on the string in the boy's hand, and he asks his dad if they could cut the string to let the kite fly higher. His father--gently, I'm sure--said no and explained that the string was necessary for the kite to be able to fly. Without it, the kite would be carried away and eventually crash to the ground.

The kite string represents our covenants with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. President Oaks says, "As we honor those covenants by keeping Their commandments and following Their plan of redemption, Their promised blessings enable us to soar to celestial heights."

I loved this analogy! Our covenants with God, our promise to follow His commandments--they are necessary to help keep us flying and progressing forward. 

President Oaks also talks about toxic communication, which is very prevalent today, especially because of social media. He quotes 3 Nephi 11:29-30, which says, "He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away."

As we were discussing President Oaks' talk, I couldn't help but think of the times that I was not a follower of Christ in my language, in the way I perceived others, or in the way that I conducted myself or even thought of myself. At first, I felt ashamed, but then I felt grateful that it was Sunday and that I had just partaken of the sacrament and renewed my covenants with my Father. I am not perfect, and I fall short every day, but I am grateful for the blessing and gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which gives me the opportunity to repent not only every week but every day of my life.

All we can ever do is strive to be better today than we were yesterday. And Nephi taught, "For we know that it is by grace that we are saved after all we can do." (2 Nephi 25:23).

I hope everyone has a beautiful week. I am grateful for a loving Father in Heaven and for the blessings He has given me. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Faith means moving forward anyway.

We have been studying The Book of Mormon this year, and I am amazed at the answers and revelations found in The Book of Mormon. Nephi tells us several times that even though he struggled to believe in the words of his father at one time, he chose to ask God, and prayed to understand the words of his father.

1 love that we can see that even Nephi had questions, but he chose to turn to God and ask for clarification and answers. In 1 Nephi 15:11, Nephi asks Laman and Lemuel, "Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?--If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you."

There is a reason that faith is the first principle and ordinance of the gospel. We must ask God in faith, trusting that the Lord will provide answers, peace, guidance, and direction.

I just had the most powerful thought about The Book of Mormon based on the principles and ordinances of the gospel. Remember, they are faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins, and laying on of hands by the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Throughout The Book of Mormon, we see these principles and ordinances.

First, faith. Nephi shows so much faith in the Lord Jesus Christ throughout his life.

Second, repentance. We see repentance throughout The Book of Mormon a lot, but especially in the book of Alma.

Third, baptism. We see baptism not only in the book of Alma but also in Helaman.

Fourth, laying on of hands by the gift of the Holy Ghost. We see this in Alma and in 4th Nephi.

I love that we see the principles and ordinances of the gospel cycle within not only each book within The Book of Mormon, but also throughout The Book of Mormon as a whole.

There are many answers to be discovered through the books within The Book of Mormon, and I know that those answers will change according to the season of life I am in.

I am grateful for the love of God that is shown throughout The Book of Mormon, and for the love that I see within my life. Though I do not have all the answers, I know God loves me. I don't know why we sometimes have to wait years for answers, but I know that by waiting, we can come to know the love of God more. In waiting, we find ways to move forward in faith anyway. I know that sometimes, the answers aren't what we sought. Instead, the answers we receive are the answers that we need to grow. There is pain and heartache in waiting for the answers we want, but there is also peace and growth in accepting the answers we receive.

I hope you have a wonderful week, full of peace and love.

Xoxo
Mattie

Even when we can't find the words.

These last few months have been full of growth and personal revelation. It's hard to believe it is already April! I can't believe Ricky and I will have been married for one year in just over a month!!! It still seems like only yesterday we were just married! Time is flying by, but each and every day seems to be its own eternity, and I wouldn't change it for the world!

Last weekend, we were blessed to be able to hear from our prophet, apostles, and leaders of the Church. I am so grateful for the messages that were shared! 

I would like to share a few of the messages that rang with me last weekend. 

• "The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of repentance. Because of the Savior's Atonement, His gospel provides an invitation to keep changing, growing, and becoming more pure. It is a gospel of hope, of healing, and of progress. Thus, the gospel is a message of joy!" (Welcome Message, Pres. Russell M. Nelson)
• "Because of Jesus Christ, our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us. 
• Like a musician rehearsing scales, we can see our missteps, flaws, and sins as opportunities for greater self-awareness, deeper and more honest love for others, and refinement through repentance.
• If we repent, mistakes do not disqualify us. They are part of our progress. 
• We are all infants compared to the beings of glory and grandeur we are designed to become. No mortal being advances from crawling to walking to running without frequent stumbles, bumps, and bruises. That is how we learn. 
• If we earnestly keep practicing, always striving to keep God’s commandments, and committing our efforts to repenting, enduring, and applying what we learn, line upon line, we will gather light into our souls. (God among Us, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
• "To be truly life-changing, conversion to Jesus Christ must involve our whole soul and permeate every aspect of our lives. This is why it must be focused at the center of our lives—our families and homes." (Teaching in the Savior's Way, Brother Jan E. Newman)

These are just a few of the many messages that I loved from General Conference last weekend. If you have a chance, I would highly recommend reading and/or watching one conference talk each day. There are so many wonderful messages and lessons from all the leaders, and I am excited for the opportunity to study the messages in detail.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Change is hard, but it's good to know that I am in good company, as we are all trying to grow and change for the better. Each day, I might fail, but each day is a new day full of new chances. And, as Elder Uchtdorf said in conference last weekend, "our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us." No one is perfect, but we can always try to be better.

Not only have changes been hard for me recently, but so has trying to follow God's plan for me. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I will say this: trying to follow a prompting but feeling like your efforts aren't enough is a real struggle–especially when you need to be patient. Patience is hard, but I've just got to take it one moment–one day–at a time. 

Though life is often challenging, I am grateful for my Heavenly Parents, who offer so much love and support, and who send me angels each and every day. I am grateful for my sweet and patient husband, who loves me so much and tries so very hard to make sure that our life is amazing. I am grateful for wonderful friends, who listen and empathize with me, and who love and support me–even when I don't know what to say other than, "I'm not in the best mood" or "This hurts and is hard".

I'm grateful for the words of the living prophet, through whom God speaks to us. I am grateful that He wants to speak to us! I am grateful that He wants us to talk to Him, and He wants to listen to us. I am grateful that He lets me talk to Him. I have had moments where all I could do was just cry...I poured out my heart to Him through tears...and He listened. He held me and comforted me–I could feel it, and He sent me angels when I needed them. I am so thankful that He hears me when I'm speaking to Him–even if my words are silent. Sometimes, our struggles are too personal to talk about. That is okay. We don't always need to talk about them with others. But God hears us. Even when we can't find the words. He knows. He understands. 

Happy Sunday! Hope you have a wonderful week!

Xoxo

Mattie

The touch of the Master's hand.

Going to the temple always brings blessings to my life. I am grateful for the time that I took to go to the temple yesterday. I received a lot of peace, and some answers, and I am just mainly very grateful for the love of my Father in Heaven. It has been quite a week, and though it didn't go the way that I wanted it to, I know that it went the way that it was supposed to. Though I don't know what the future holds in store for me, I know that as long as I take time to strengthen and develop my relationship with my Savior and my Heavenly Father, everything will eventually fall into place, and things will work out the way that they're supposed to. 

I am pretty sure that I received some revelation this weekend that is going to be challenging for me to follow. But that is the way that it is. Receiving revelation isn't always going to be comfortable. In fact, most of the time, it's not going to be comfortable at all. Change is HARD. Change can be painful. But He will help you find a way to achieve the change that you need to grow and progress and be better. 

Every week, I make mistakes, and every week I must try again. I am grateful for the love of a Savior who supports and sustains me when I am broken and unable to do so myself. Some days are harder than others, but as long as I have the support of my Savior and Heavenly Father, I will not fail. 

There is this poem that I LOVE and Kyle read it in sacrament meeting today, so I was thinking about it all day, and I wanted to share it with you. 

The Touch of the Master's Hand

~

'Twas battered and scarred,

And the auctioneer thought it

hardly worth his while

To waste his time on the old violin,

but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people", he cried,

"Who starts the bidding for me?"

"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"

"Two dollars, who makes it three?"

"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three,"

But, No,

From the room far back a gray bearded man

Came forward and picked up the bow,

Then wiping the dust from the old violin

And tightening up the strings,

He played a melody, pure and sweet

As sweet as the angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer

With a voice that was quiet and low,

Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"

As he held it aloft with its' bow.

"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"

"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"

"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,

Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,

But some of them cried,

"We just don't understand."

"What changed its' worth?"

Swift came the reply.

"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

"And many a man with life out of tune

All battered and bruised with hardship

Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd

Much like that old violin

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,

A game and he travels on.

He is going once, he is going twice,

He is going and almost gone.

But the Master comes,

And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,

The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought

By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.

- Myra Brooks Welch

The message of this poem is so beautiful. It's an analogy for us. We might seem, feel, or be broken, bruised, and worthless...but in the hands of our Father in Heaven, and in our Savior...we can become beautiful, whole, and priceless. It might seem like we are far beyond His reach, and that we can never return, and that we can never be whole or clean again, but that couldn't be further from the truth. It might take time, but He will tighten up our strings, tighten up our bow, and–if needed–restring and repair the violin and bow, and He will use us to make the most beautiful and mesmerizing melody. 

Kyle also said something that I absolutely loved...He said, "Where justice and mercy meet is the love of Christ." I loved that. The Atonement of Jesus Christ, and His love for us, is the balance of justice and mercy. He gave it all so that we could return to live with our Father in Heaven again. 

It isn't always easy to come back, but it is so easy to find Him. You just have to look. He is a part of our every day life and we shouldn't be afraid to look for Him. He is not just in our lives once every few pages. He's consistently there, and recognizing Him in our lives brings us joy. 

I know that God has touched my life in the most beautiful ways. I know that I haven't always done what He has wanted me to do...but He has blessed me anyway. As I have tried to live my life as He would have me do, I have felt His hand. I have felt His inspiration, and His loving touch. I have felt Him tighten my strings, and restring me when I was broken. I am practicing each week and He is tuning me up. He is preparing me for the final concert, and I know that with His help, I will be ready. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Mine is going to be long and very exhausting but I have faith that I can make it to the end! God loves you and so do I!

Xoxo

Mattie

He answers you in unexpected ways.

Loved today's lessons. Not quite what I was looking for but they were still great. :)

My thoughts during the sacrament today were short but sweet:

I've had much better luck reading my scriptures and praying this week. Still not 100% perfect but I'm working on it. :) I am so grateful for my Savior and for His love and grace. This past week was weird and started off okay (I think...I don't remember) but didn't end quite as well. I hope that I will find answers today as to why things happened/didn't happened. 

I was looking for answers but didn't exactly get the answers I was expecting. I did get answers today but just not what I thought I would get or that I wanted.

The topic in sacrament meeting today was conversion, which is a great topic and I learned some new things.
-We need our Savior to change. We can only do so much by ourselves; we can't fully change in the way that our Heavenly Father knows we can without our Savior. 
-You have to be born again/converted in order to inherit the kingdom of God.
Three things in order to have personal conversion:
-Listen (to the prophets, Holy Ghost, personal revelation, etc.)
-Commit (commitment is often a mental process)
-Do (what's a commitment if we don't act?)
-As we're converted we'll find ourselves doubting less.
-What is your attitude through trials? Do you try to rely on the Lord, or do you complain that you have to go through it?
-Yield your heart to Him daily. Conversion is a daily lifetime commitment.

We talked about baptism in Gospel Principles today. Someone said something interesting that I'd never thought about before. We were talking about one of the reasons for baptism is for a remission of sins. Someone said that when she thinks about remission, she thinks about cancer remission, and how that means it (the cancer) may come back. And you need to take care of yourself. And the same is for the remission of sins–they may come back so take care of yourself. Keep trying. You can get better over time. Another interesting thing that I suppose I should have figured out by myself was that strait (as in the strait and narrow) doesn't mean "straight". It means like rigorous, an uphill battle. It will not be easy. But it will be worth it.

In Relief Society we talked about the doctrine of Christ. Which is:
-Faith in Christ and His Atonement
-Repentance
-Baptism and the sacrament
-Gift of the Holy Ghost
-Enduring to the end
A couple of things that stood out to me today were:
-repentance is a daily process. And we can't expect more for ourselves than He does.
-if we recognize following the doctrine of Christ is the only way, we will be more inclined to do so.

I definitely wasn't looking for answers in any of the topics covered today, but I found some anyway. Funny how that works. I received an answer more in the way I was looking for yesterday but I wanted more of a confirmation in that way today but I got a different answer instead. I'm blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who knows what I need to hear, even when I was looking for something else. I'm looking forward to my scripture study and prayers this week, as well as trying to find peace. I'm grateful for my friends and family and for their love and support. Life just isn't as sweet without them, and I'm grateful to love and be loved by so many.

Xoxo
Mattie

Repentance is a choice, and repentance is change.

Today I had the privilege of going to two of my friends' missionary farewells. They gave such great talks!! I'm so excited for them! They are going to be amazing missionaries and I can't wait to see how much they've grown and changed when they come back in a year and a half. 

One of my friends talked about repentance, and I just found this really good quote about repentance and God's love for us:

"Though we disregard His counsel, break His commandments, and reject Him, when we recognize our mistakes and desire to repent, He wants us to seek Him out and He will accept us" (God's Love for Us Transcends Our Transgressions, Ronald E. Poelman, April 1982 General Conference). 

Sometimes I think we think that's it's so crazy that God can still love us, even after all the sins we've done and mistakes we've made. That reminds me of this scripture in 2nd Nephi:

20 And now, my brethren, I have spoken plainly that ye cannot err. And as the Lord God liveth that brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt, and gave unto Moses power that he should heal the nations after they had been bitten by the poisonous serpents, if they would cast their eyes unto the serpent which he did raise up before them, and also gave him power that he should smite the rock and the water should come forth; yea, behold I say unto you, that as these things are true, and as the Lord God liveth, there is none other name given under heaven save it be this Jesus Christ, of which I have spoken, whereby man can be saved. (2 Nephi 25:20)

I know that repentance isn't that easy, but it does take effort–just like the effort the nations needed to take. All they had to do to be healed was to look on the serpent that Moses "did raise up before them". Heavenly Father wants us to turn to Him, and to trust in Him. All we have to do is to turn to Him. Repentance is a choice that we have to consciously make. Elder Neil L. Andersen said that, "When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God" (Repent... That I May Heal You, October 2009 General Conference). Repentance is "re-turning" to God. Yes, repentance isn't easy, and it takes effort, but I know that it is more than worth it. It has brought me feelings of love, acceptance, peace, and understanding beyond anything I ever could have imagined. It has changed my life when I needed help to change, and it has helped me to heal when I so desperately needed healing. I am so grateful for my Savior and for His sacrifice for me. I would not be who I am today without Him and without His Atonement.

Today was kind of hard. But that's okay.

So, as the title says, today was kind of hard. But that's okay. Hard times make me stronger (though, I'm going to be honest, sometimes I wish I could become stronger in other ways). This morning was super fun–I went to rehearsal today and, though some of the pieces are challenging, I am excited. It's going to be so much fun!! Plus, I love spending time with my friend. :) After rehearsal, though, I was just so overwhelmed. I have a nature experience proposal due in Biology on Monday and I have absolutely NO idea what to do. It has been bothering me all day, and it is what has made today hard (that, plus the fact that my shoulders/back are super sore for who-knows-why and are killing me). But I was really looking forward to the General Women's Broadcast tonight. :) I was super excited!! I was not disappointed!! It was such a great session! I loved it! I am so excited for General Conference next weekend!! There were SO many good messages spoken that I needed to hear!!!

Sister Rosemary M. Wixom said:

Life is a gift, and God has a plan for each of us.

Our divine nature comes from God.

Because you are His child, He knows who you can become.

I love this. This is such a great reminder that we are His, and He has a plan for us, and all that we have been blessed with comes from Him. <3

Sister Linda S. Reeves said:

We will be blessed if we exercise faith in our Father and go to Him.

The reward is so great, so eternal...

As we keep our lives pure and clean...we will one day receive all that the Father hath.

I love this! We will be blessed as we keep His commandments–I love that she got emotional as she talked about how, when we see the Father in Heaven, we will be amazed at how awesome the reward is, and how all we had to do was get through our trials that seem extremely hard now, but, in the end, will be nothing compared to the reward. <3

Sister Carol F. McConkie said:

We must love one another and see in one another the beauty of the soul.

In the strength of the Lord we can do all things.

We repent so that we may be better.

"In this cause [FYI, she said that "we are here to serve a righteous cause"] we are all valued. We are all needed. The righteous cause we serve is the cause of Christ. It is the work of salvation."

I love this. I can't even add anything to it. <3

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

He told a story about a young girl who visited her Great-Aunt Rose over the summer while the girl's mother recovered from a surgery. These are some of the things he said as he told the story:

If we trust Him, we can find the brighter, happier things in life.

The best things take patience and work.

Brooding and worrying makes it worse. (this stood out to me in particular. <3 <3 <3)

God didn't design us to be sad. He created us to have joy.

Now is part of eternity. 

Faith will fortify every step of the way.

I love President Uchtdorf! This was such a good talk! I loved the story! Such a cute story, and very relatable. <3 <3

I absolutely LOVED this session!!!! God is watching out for me and He knows exactly what I need. <3 <3 <3 Can't wait for next weekend!!!

Xoxo
Mattie