A Joyful Entrance

Hey! It's been a while since I've posted on my blog! Life has been crazy busy!!


Today is Palm Sunday, the start of Holy Week, the Savior's last week here on Earth before He was resurrected on Easter Sunday. This is the day that He rode into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey, across a path of palm leaves and cloaks thrown down by the crowd of His followers.

From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' website about Easter Week:

On Palm Sunday, Jesus Christ rides triumphantly into Jerusalem as His followers draw near Him to lay down cloaks and palm fronds in His path. They surround Jesus with love and praise. In return, they no doubt receive the profound spiritual lift that comes from being in Jesus’s presence. The people in the crowd probably had life experiences just as varied as ours, but all were able to share equally in the joy that comes when we draw closer to Jesus Christ.

#BecauseOfHim, I can have joy

By following Jesus Christ’s teachings, you can find pure joy—a feeling of eternal peace and comfort. Explore what’s possible because of Jesus. Watch this video and consider someone in your life to share it with.

I am so grateful for the joy that Jesus Christ brings to my life! Because of Him, I can have peace in tumultuous times, no matter what my circumstances are. Because of Him, I can be comforted in my sorrows and pains. It was a joyful entrance the day that I was baptized and Jesus Christ really came into my life, but it was even more of a joyful entrance the day that I really invited Him in, and began to understand, know, and love my Savior and my testimony of Him.

May this Easter Week be full of reminders of our Savior, and the sacrifices He made, and the sacrifices that we can make for Him.

Xoxo
Mattie

Learning life lessons.

I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father. He has blessed my life in many ways this year, and I don't know how He does it, but I know that He does it because He loves me!

I can't believe the end of the year is here! It's been quite a year! I've learned a lot! I think that one of the main things that I have learned this year–though I still am struggling to understand it at times–is that there is a reason for all things. Things happen for a reason, and things happen when they are meant to. It's hard to remember that, though, and it's hard to have patience sometimes. But I know that when you take a step back, and try not to focus on some of the things that you want, that 1) time will fly by as you're waiting; and 2) sometimes something better will come along and you'll realize that what you wanted was a good thing, but this new thing is better for you.

One of my favorite things about the end of the year is looking back on the year, and being amazed at all the things that have happened this year. I look back at things that happened in March and April, and I go, "Was that really this year?" And it amazes me how time seems to fly by when you least expect it. I could have sworn that I have been taking my medication for a long time, but I just started taking it this year; I could have sworn that the summer went on forEVER, but then it was over; I could have sworn Fall semester just started, but now it's over; and I could have sworn I just turned 21 and had the greatest surprise party of my life, but I'm now a month out from being 22 and I can't believe it!!

I've grown and learned so much this year!! I am so thankful for all of the new friends that I have made, and for all of the love and support that I have received this year. I am grateful for all the adventures that I have had this year! I have learned many, many things about God's plan for me, and about who I am. 

I learned that God is always watching out for me. I learned that, in spite of my mistakes, He still loves me. I learned that, despite the fact that I couldn't forgive myself for the longest time, He never gave up on me. He still believed in me, and He had still forgiven me. I learned that He sends the best people in my life to come at times when I need them, even if I don't know that I need them. I learned that I have so many people who love me, and that God wants to make sure that I know that I am not alone, and that I am not unloved. I learned that it's important to have at least a few strong and sweet friendships with people that you can always count on–people besides the Savior. 

I learned this year that I am wonderful. I am funny. I am kind. I am loving. I am gracious. I am hopeful. I am optimistic. I am hard-working. I am talented. I am creative. I am determined. I learned that I am all of these things but I am NOT my anxiety. I am NOT my depression. I have anxiety, and I have depression. But they do not define me. They are not a part of who I am. They are just mental health illnesses that I have. It has taken me a while to figure that out, but I think I am finally beginning to understand the difference. 

I learned that I struggle with school, which was kind of a surprise, but I learned that I love the learning part of school. I learned that I really love being organized and making lists–it doesn't always happen haha but it makes my life much easier. I learned that my life is my life and that it's not anyone else's, and that I have things to learn and go through that others do not. I learned that I can do a lot more with my life if I set my mind to things. I learned that my worth is not defined by others. I learned that who I am is who I am, and that nobody can take that away from me. I learned that it is okay to say no. I learned that it is okay to ask for help–and it is okay to keep asking for help until you get it. I learned that it is okay to want something at one time, and end up not wanting it later. I learned that it is okay to change your mind. I learned that sometimes I accidentally hurt people, and that I want to do all that I can to take away the hurt, but sometimes I can't do that. I learned that sometimes, you have to be the bigger person and forgive, let go, and move on–even if it hurts. And I learned that other people can feel and do these things too! So I also learned that I am not alone.

These are just a few of the things that I have learned this past year. Wow! I can't believe I have learned so much! What have you learned this past year? What has been the biggest thing that shaped your life this year? Let me know in the comments! I'd love to hear what you guys learned this year!

I am excited for the New Year, and for all the lessons that I will be able to learn next year. I am excited for all of the adventures that I have to look forward to in the next couple of months as I am finishing up school! And I am excited for all the unexpected adventures that are coming my way in this new year! Life might not always go exactly as I want it to, but somehow whatever happens always works out in the best way! God is great, and I am so thankful for Him! 💜💕

Xoxo

Mattie

Learning to trust God in spite of our weaknesses and trials.

My friend and I were talking the other day about a lot of things but one of the last things that we talked about really stood out to me and I've been thinking about it since then. We were talking about weaknesses and strengths, and she named a whole bunch of things I consider weaknesses and she also named how they got turned into strengths. And it was a really special, kind of spiritual experience that I had with her. I have been thinking about how the way I view my weaknesses affects me. If I think of them as just weaknesses, it breaks me, and tears me down. But if I think of them as ways to be stronger, or things that led me to be strong, it builds me up. I see what I've overcome, and I know that I am strong and capable. But when I doubt myself, and let my weaknesses take over me, I feel weak, incapable, depressed, and uncertain of my worthiness and capabilities to be loved or looked up to. It's hard to remember to look at your strengths in a world that is so focused on weaknesses and imperfections in such a negative way, but focusing on your strengths, and how your weaknesses lead you to strengths, is beautiful and empowering, especially when you have God on your side.

I shared this on Facebook yesterday, after thinking about what my friend and I talked about earlier:

"I am my strengths...and I am my weaknesses. Together, they make me who I am. I have my strengths because of my weaknesses. 

My weaknesses do not define me. 

My weaknesses do not make me any less than I am.
My weaknesses make me human.
My strengths do not define me. My strengths do not make me more than I am. My strengths make me human. 

But one cannot have strengths without weaknesses. One cannot have weaknesses without strengths. You must have one to have the other. Together, they make you unstoppable. Indestructible. Powerful. 

God can turn any weakness into a strength. I've seen that in my own life, and a friend recently brought to my attention just how many weaknesses I have that He's helped me turn into strengths. I'm not perfect at them, but I'm trying my best. And that's all we can do."

The Christmas Musical Fireside!!

Oh my goodness gracious, guys, the Fireside was SO AMAZING!!!!! AH!!! I really could feel the Spirit so strong and all of the musical numbers were wonderful and amazing! I am so thankful that this month-long project of mine turned out really well!! It has been such a blessing in my life to work on, and even though it has been very stressful, all of the hard work that everyone has put into it paid off!! There was so much passion, and humbleness, and spiritualness in each and every piece–it was beautiful, and magical, and I am so, so, so, thankful!!!  💜💜💜💜💜💜

Be anxiously engaged in good causes, including your own development.

Well, it's back to school season! Tomorrow all of my siblings in gradeschool (except our little kindergartener) start school. Halie starts at MATC on Tuesday. And I start school next Monday. And this year is going to be way different for a myriad of reasons but one most specifically is that I will be rooming with five other girls and I will have a kitchen. I'm so excited but also nervous and I hope that this year will be a good one. I think that it will be good for me (it being different for a myriad of reasons) but we all know I'm an emotional person who sometimes can't deal–I just really hope that I'll be able to deal this year. Progress is progress, and I've been making a little progress this summer and I hope that it will continue over the course of the school year.

My thoughts during the sacrament this week:
This past week has kind of been stressful for me because I've mentally been so ready to move out for awhile. But it has worked out this week and I've got 99.99% of my things moved out. The last things to be moved out are me, my violin, and one or two other things, which will be happening tonight. I'm just grateful that this past week was full of fun times with a cutie pie that I was watching this week. :) I'm also grateful that this upcoming week will mostly be me finishing putting my stuff away, figuring out how long it will take me to get to campus, getting my books, and scoping out my classes. I know that most of my worries were just in my head but I'm grateful that my Savior was there to help calm me because sometimes it was extremely frustrating and difficult (as things usually are with me), but as I look back on my week, my worrying and frustrating moments were probably not even a total of an hour throughout the whole week. What a blessing that was. I can pinpoint specific moments of worry but they didn't last very long and soon after I was soothed by my Savior. I've had to rely on Him a lot these past couple of weeks and He has always been there. He's listened and He's helped me do things I wanted to but couldn't, or that I didn't want to but needed to. 

We had some high councilmen speak in sacrament meeting today.
Brother Jones talked about faith:
-Faith is a principle of action and of power. 
-Do we show faith in our Heavenly Father, even if we feel He has let us down?
-We sometimes need to experience a trial of faith before the blessings will come. And they will come.
-Choosing faith in our Heavenly Father's plan and in our priesthood leaders will bless us.
-All things are possible.
-We can do hard things if we exercise our faith by choice.  
I loved his message. Sometimes we have to choose faith. Heavenly Father will bless us because of our faith. 
Brother Scoresby talked about the difference between joy and happiness:
-There is a difference between joy and happiness. 
-Joy is when you help people. Happiness is apple pie. 
-We care about those that are lost and we need to find them and help them. 
-When we minister to others we need to:
-Be obedient. Because Heavenly Father will be able to trust you and will send His Spirit to help you. 
He talked about ministering, and how he had a formula, which is:
-Remember their names. 
-Love people without judging them. 
-Watch over them and strengthen them spiritually (one by one; personally). 
-Become friends with them and visit them often.
I loved how he described the difference between happiness and joy. 

In Relief Society we talked about marriage, an eternal partnership. 
Obviously I'm not married, nor am I dating anyone (seriously or at all), but I still listened and paid attention because someday it's going to apply to me, and in the meantime, it can help me know what to look for in a relationship. Here's a couple of my favorite things that were said:
-The Lord expects us to pray for guidance but also to act and go forward with faith. 
-God won't let us do something that isn't good for us. He'll let us know when we're not doing what's right for us. 
-We have to acknowledge how the Spirit speaks to us. We have to be so close to Him and realize how He speaks to us. 
-Sometimes we need to be still within ourselves and listen. 
-"Be anxiously engaged in good causes, including your own development."
-Our conscious effort, not instinct, determines the success. 
-Take it to Heavenly Father and listen to the Holy Ghost. 
-As we follow the Spirit, we will be led in our marriage and in our families. 

I know that this year is going to be different. I know that I'm ready, though, and I know that my Savior will be there for me. I know that sometimes I will have to exercise faith, and I hope that I will be able to make the right decisions. I know that I'm going to want to help others and make them happy, and that will give me joy, but I also know that this might mean that I will forget about myself. I hope to be able to remember to help myself, too. I hope that I will go on more dates this year, but if not, I at least hope to be able to make more guy friends and get more comfortable around guys. I know that I can turn to my Heavenly Father for help in all areas of my life, and I hope to be able to set a schedule this year and make more time for my personal scripture study.

I wish us all luck as this new school year begins. I love you all and hope that you will turn to your Heavenly Father. I also hope that you will know that I am always there for you whenever you need to talk–I will listen.

Have a wonderful year!

Xoxo
Mattie

Light at the end of the tunnel.

Had a very special experience this morning. I attended my friend's farewell talk this morning, and during the sacrament, I was just thinking about some things and I wrote a little something that I'd like to share with you (the italics are thoughts that I was thinking about adding and decided to just now):

During the sacrament I couldn't help but turn back to one of my bigger mistakes a couple years ago. And I felt nothing but peace about it. That's the first time I've ever felt peace about it. I think I've finally accepted that God has forgiven me, and I just needed to forgive myself. And I have. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was forgive myself, but I did it. I couldn't have done it without my Savior.
Now I can finally really move on and focus on the future. There may be times when I look back, but for once it won't be out of shame or regret. Yes, I do regret it and I'm sorry I had to go through that, but I am also not sorry that I had to go through it because it's changed me in many ways for the better, and my testimony of my Savior and the Atonement has grown. I can finally face myself. For the longest time I couldn't look back without berating myself. Now I can look back and know that there was light at the end of my tunnel. And that light was my Savior and my Redeemer. I'm so blessed to have been able to have Him by my side throughout the whole experience. 

There were a couple of things that were shared during the meeting that I loved and I'd liked to share them:
-Opposition permits us to grow into what our Heavenly Father wants us to become.
-Persistence is continuing to try even when in the midst of opposition.
-Rejoice in the Lord's blessings, even during the hard times (I loved this! I try to do this–sometimes it's hard–but I know that being positive during trials has helped me in many ways).
-Don't give up when the pressure mounts (That's just Satan trying to get you to turn away from God. Don't give up! Press forward! Turn to your friends and family...they love you and want to help you).
-The Lord blesses those who want to improve and strive for Christlike qualities.
-God will never desert us, no matter what. He will stand with us.

I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! That light is our Savior, Jesus Christ. It might take you a little while, but you will eventually get there, I promise. He will never leave you alone. He wants you to return. He loves you and wants what is best for you. I know that there may be times where it seems hopeless, and it seems like you will never get out of the deep dark hole or tunnel, but I promise you that He is there for you. He is there. He loves you. I know that with His help, we can be healed, and we can be forgiven, and we can return. <3 <3

Today was kind of hard. But that's okay.

So, as the title says, today was kind of hard. But that's okay. Hard times make me stronger (though, I'm going to be honest, sometimes I wish I could become stronger in other ways). This morning was super fun–I went to rehearsal today and, though some of the pieces are challenging, I am excited. It's going to be so much fun!! Plus, I love spending time with my friend. :) After rehearsal, though, I was just so overwhelmed. I have a nature experience proposal due in Biology on Monday and I have absolutely NO idea what to do. It has been bothering me all day, and it is what has made today hard (that, plus the fact that my shoulders/back are super sore for who-knows-why and are killing me). But I was really looking forward to the General Women's Broadcast tonight. :) I was super excited!! I was not disappointed!! It was such a great session! I loved it! I am so excited for General Conference next weekend!! There were SO many good messages spoken that I needed to hear!!!

Sister Rosemary M. Wixom said:

Life is a gift, and God has a plan for each of us.

Our divine nature comes from God.

Because you are His child, He knows who you can become.

I love this. This is such a great reminder that we are His, and He has a plan for us, and all that we have been blessed with comes from Him. <3

Sister Linda S. Reeves said:

We will be blessed if we exercise faith in our Father and go to Him.

The reward is so great, so eternal...

As we keep our lives pure and clean...we will one day receive all that the Father hath.

I love this! We will be blessed as we keep His commandments–I love that she got emotional as she talked about how, when we see the Father in Heaven, we will be amazed at how awesome the reward is, and how all we had to do was get through our trials that seem extremely hard now, but, in the end, will be nothing compared to the reward. <3

Sister Carol F. McConkie said:

We must love one another and see in one another the beauty of the soul.

In the strength of the Lord we can do all things.

We repent so that we may be better.

"In this cause [FYI, she said that "we are here to serve a righteous cause"] we are all valued. We are all needed. The righteous cause we serve is the cause of Christ. It is the work of salvation."

I love this. I can't even add anything to it. <3

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

He told a story about a young girl who visited her Great-Aunt Rose over the summer while the girl's mother recovered from a surgery. These are some of the things he said as he told the story:

If we trust Him, we can find the brighter, happier things in life.

The best things take patience and work.

Brooding and worrying makes it worse. (this stood out to me in particular. <3 <3 <3)

God didn't design us to be sad. He created us to have joy.

Now is part of eternity. 

Faith will fortify every step of the way.

I love President Uchtdorf! This was such a good talk! I loved the story! Such a cute story, and very relatable. <3 <3

I absolutely LOVED this session!!!! God is watching out for me and He knows exactly what I need. <3 <3 <3 Can't wait for next weekend!!!

Xoxo
Mattie