Light at the end of the tunnel.

Had a very special experience this morning. I attended my friend's farewell talk this morning, and during the sacrament, I was just thinking about some things and I wrote a little something that I'd like to share with you (the italics are thoughts that I was thinking about adding and decided to just now):

During the sacrament I couldn't help but turn back to one of my bigger mistakes a couple years ago. And I felt nothing but peace about it. That's the first time I've ever felt peace about it. I think I've finally accepted that God has forgiven me, and I just needed to forgive myself. And I have. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was forgive myself, but I did it. I couldn't have done it without my Savior.
Now I can finally really move on and focus on the future. There may be times when I look back, but for once it won't be out of shame or regret. Yes, I do regret it and I'm sorry I had to go through that, but I am also not sorry that I had to go through it because it's changed me in many ways for the better, and my testimony of my Savior and the Atonement has grown. I can finally face myself. For the longest time I couldn't look back without berating myself. Now I can look back and know that there was light at the end of my tunnel. And that light was my Savior and my Redeemer. I'm so blessed to have been able to have Him by my side throughout the whole experience. 

There were a couple of things that were shared during the meeting that I loved and I'd liked to share them:
-Opposition permits us to grow into what our Heavenly Father wants us to become.
-Persistence is continuing to try even when in the midst of opposition.
-Rejoice in the Lord's blessings, even during the hard times (I loved this! I try to do this–sometimes it's hard–but I know that being positive during trials has helped me in many ways).
-Don't give up when the pressure mounts (That's just Satan trying to get you to turn away from God. Don't give up! Press forward! Turn to your friends and family...they love you and want to help you).
-The Lord blesses those who want to improve and strive for Christlike qualities.
-God will never desert us, no matter what. He will stand with us.

I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! That light is our Savior, Jesus Christ. It might take you a little while, but you will eventually get there, I promise. He will never leave you alone. He wants you to return. He loves you and wants what is best for you. I know that there may be times where it seems hopeless, and it seems like you will never get out of the deep dark hole or tunnel, but I promise you that He is there for you. He is there. He loves you. I know that with His help, we can be healed, and we can be forgiven, and we can return. <3 <3

Trust in Him and enjoy the present.

I know it's Thursday, but I've been thinking a lot over the last couple of days about a couple of things and I just need to get them out.

Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to be a mom. There's never really been anything else I've really wanted to do. I've just always wanted to be a mom.

The other day, though, I was just thinking...all of my friends know what they're doing with their lives. I've got a ton of friends on missions, going on missions, or they know what they want to do with their life/major in–be a teacher, a journalist, or whatever.

But me??

All I've ever wanted to be is a mom, and seeing how that's not going to happen for awhile, I was kind of feeling discouraged and disappointed yesterday because I'm still not exactly sure what I want to major in yet–I've been thinking about a couple of options but none of them are really like, "Ding ding ding!!! This is it!!" and so that's just been hard. When I was growing up, I'd never really thought that there would be a time where I wouldn't be a wife/mom, and I'd need to be something else; it never crossed my mind (not sure why, especially in these last couple of years....my brain was just on a break, I guess). And so I've just been feeling kind of like I don't have a purpose...almost empty, in a way. I'm just kind of cruising along the path of life, not exactly sure where I'm headed or why.

And I've still been struggling a little bit with forgiving myself, and so that's also been a little hard. And so my brain has just been on overload mode, because of all these things on top of finals week...and of course I can't not think about these things because I'm me.

But then I saw this picture on Facebook yesterday, and it stood out to me because I really needed it.

I need to remember to trust Him, and trust His timing. And I also need to believe and trust in His grace. Things will happen when they happen, when they're supposed to happen, when I'm ready for them to happen. But not before. They'll happen when I need and am ready for them to happen. This year, I had some growing up to do, and I still have a little bit to do, but next year will be even better, and I'll be more prepared, and I'll be more aware. But right now? Right now I just need to trust in my Savior, and believe in His grace. Things will work out–they always do. I just need to be patient and enjoy the present. It's hard, but I know that I can do it. <3 <3