The view is always breathtaking.

I’ve been working on this post 𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓵 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴. I just haven’t been able to figure out the words to describe all that I’ve felt in my heart about this. It hits close to home for me, and I know that I have friends who have and do feel similarly. I wanted to do this topic justice. 

Earlier this week on my Facebook profile, I shared a post about how important it is to enjoy life where you are at. Then I commented about how it's okay to struggle with enjoying life where you are at. Then I added how it's okay to work on enjoying life one piece at a time.

I feel the need to share that 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙩. Life is hard because that is the way that life is. Our bodies are mortal and can fail us. Sometimes the actions of others can cause us mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual harm. Life takes us in a different direction than maybe we wanted to be headed in. Sometimes we need to be doing things that we don't want to be doing. That is okay.

In this article entitled "If God Loves Me, Why Is Life So Hard?", there is a story of a little girl with a brain tumor. She shows such strength and faith in God throughout her trial.

“7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖆 𝖘𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖒𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙; 8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8).

I love this scripture. My favorite part is "a small moment". To us, life feels like ᗩ ᒪOOOᑎG ᗰOᗰEᑎT. But, in reality, it is but a small moment that goes by faster than you think. 

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, we just started the new year, but we are already 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓯𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓾𝓪𝓻𝔂!!! My birthday is at the end of January, and every year I can't ever wait til my birthday, but it seems like time always goes by so slow! But then when I look at it, it has gone by so fast!

In applying this to ❝𝑒𝓃𝒿💮𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓎🌺𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓉❞, oftentimes, the things that trouble us, the things that make us cry every other night, or the things that make us hide in the bathroom at work...these things seem to last a long time. Sometimes they can. Sometimes these things can last years. But, upon reflection, it was "𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉".

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, my first year of college was really difficult. However, it was ❝𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂🌺𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉❞ in the grand scheme of things. College seemed to take ᖴOᖇEᐯEᖇ, but I am now graduated.

It's okay to not enjoy life where you are at...but it is also important to remember that it 𝓲𝓼 where you are currently at. So, what can you do to be 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 with where you are at?

Well, first of all, I think that accepting that you aren't enjoying life where you at is a good start. Being honest with yourself is important.

Second, I think that telling God (even though He already knows) that you aren't enjoying life right now is also important. It's important for you to be honest with God, and for you and God to be on the same page. 

Third, I think that telling a loved one (either a family member or close friend) that you aren't enjoying life right now is a good idea as well. Having not only God's help, but help from someone close to you here on Earth is a good step forward. Together, they will be able to help you through this.

Fourth, know that 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 💮𝓀𝒶𝓎. Know that 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖. We all have moments where life is challenging. We all have moments where life isn't enjoyable anymore. And that's okay.

There are so many other things that you can do to be okay with where you are at. Finding something that you enjoy doing in your spare time. Learning a new hobby. Finding a project to start that you can work on and be able to finish is a good idea. I like having something that I have accomplished. Taking a few minutes or so to let yourself be a little sad about life can also be an option, but you shouldn't let it overwhelm you every day.

Finally, just remember that y⃣   o⃣   u⃣    a⃣   r⃣   e⃣    l⃣   o⃣   v⃣   e⃣   d⃣! By Someone who is not only the most High Being, but is your Heavenly Father! You have loving Heavenly Parents who care for you, and want you to succeed. They know that life is hard, but They want you to remember Them. In addition to Heavenly Parents, you are loved by me. You have family, friends–you are surrounded by loved ones. I know it can be difficult to believe, see, and understand their love, but ίŦ ιs ⓐ𝓛𝓌𝔞𝕐𝓈 丅нᵉяᗴ!

I love you! I know that God loves you, too! Life is an uphill climb sometimes, and you might not like the hike, but man, the view is always breathtaking! 💜💜💜

I hope this week has been a good one for you! If not, I hope that you have been able to find time to feel God's love for you in one way or another! I will be praying for you! 

Xoxo

Mattie

The most important thing you can do as a human is to LOVE.

***I am apologizing in advance for the scatterbrained nature of this post, but this is just kind of how it happened in my head. I don't entirely know how to fix it but I hope the images help. :)

First and foremost, for those of you who only follow me on my blog, I made a big adult decision this week and I bought my first car!! I'm soo excited to finally have a car, and I'm so excited to be able to not rely on my parents for rides anymore!! It's a cute little Geo Prizm and I'm excited to be able to drive it (just as soon as I get it registered this week). I am finally feeling like I am sort of starting to get ahold of my life, and it's a great feeling. :)

Be yourself.

Okay, so now that that's out of the way, this has been a great week! I have learned a lot and I have come to some conclusions about myself and what I want, and need, and I am excited to move forward from here. One thing that I have learned this week is to just be yourself! I know that this is something that people say all the time, but it really is true! You will 1) be more happy because you don't have to pretend to be a different person, and 2) learn that people need you for who you ARE, not for who you think other people want you to be.

Integrity

Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Integrity is a lot of things, but I think the definition of integrity that I love the most is: integrity is being the same person no matter where you are, or who you are surrounded (or not surrounded) by. If there happens to be two random people who know you, and they get to talking about you, they will be talking about the exact same version of you because you are always yourself, and you are always the same person, no matter the setting. It's important to be honest with others, but it's also important to be honest with yourself. But how can you be honest with yourself if you're not always yourself? Be true to yourself, no matter where you are. 

Struggle

One thing that I was thinking about during Sunday School today as were were discussing the story of Job was that it's okay to struggle. Even Jesus struggled. No one in the whole history of Earth has escaped the trial of struggling with something. Everyone struggles, has struggled, or will struggle with something. We are not perfect, but even He who was the most perfect being on Earth struggled. We are in good company! He knows how we feel! And He will be there for us when we need Him.

You are special.

Sister Larsen read the story "You Are Special" by Max Lucado in Relief Society today. Let me tell you, friends, that this is my ABSOLUTE favorite children's book, but there are several others by Max Lucado that are close seconds and thirds. ANYWAY that is not the point of me mentioning that story. 

For those of you who have never heard this story before, this story is about a town of Wemmicks, who are little wooden people that were created by Eli, the woodworker (you can hear some British guy reading the story here). The Wemmicks all have boxes of little gray dots, and little gold stars, and they put them on other Wemmicks based on their looks, and what they do. There is a little Wemmick named Punchinello who only has gray dots, and he meets this Wemmick named Lucia, who has no stars or dots. He asks her why she has no dots or stars, and she says it is because every day she goes to see Eli, the maker. So Punchinello goes to see Eli one day. And there is where my favorite quotes of all time happen. 

"What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special." 

Punchinello asks, "Why do I matter to you?" Eli replies, "Because you are mine. That's why you matter to me."

"The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers."

"You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."

This story is an allegory–its deeper, hidden meaning is that this story represents our relationship with Heavenly Father. We are the Wemmicks, and He is Eli, the woodworker. He made us just the way we are, and He doesn't make mistakes. 

Value

Our value comes from God. We came to Earth with value. It just exists. We can't add to or detract from it. It is simply always there. Just like God's love for us. He loves us deeply, and forever. 

He will help you understand as you turn to Him.

People will always judge us, and give us "stickers" or "labels". But they only stick if we let them. If we turn to God, and trust in Him, and trust in His love, and trust in His ability to create things perfectly (not that we are perfect, He has just made us perfectly), the judgements and opinions of others won't matter quite so much. Eventually, hopefully, they won't matter at all. 

Life is certainly difficult, and we all have things to overcome, but I know that as we turn to God, and trust in Him, life will be easier to deal with. I'm not saying that things will become perfect overnight, or that you'll never have trials or challenges ever again, because that is definitely not true. But what I am saying is that having God on your side, and knowing that He is there to help you, and to lift you, will make things easier to bear. As you turn to Him, and trust in His love, you might not get the answers you want, but don't lose hope. God is there for you, forever and always, and He will not let you down. He is leading you, guiding you, and walking beside you. He's there to help you find your place in this world, and He is there to help you find your path. 

Nothing is more important than your relationship with your Heavenly Father and your Savior. Sadly, people will come and go in your lives–either physically, or socially. Sometimes you will grow apart. Whatever the circumstances are, there is always going to be change in the relationships in your life. However, your Father in Heaven, and your Savior, will always be there for you. Their love for you will never change, and They will always be there for you, even if you go away for awhile. So the most important relationship you can have is with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ because They will never leave you. The only way for you to not feel Their love is for you to fall away. But no matter what happens, They will always be there. And you can always come back to Them through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

I am in no way an expert in any of this. These are just my thoughts and feelings. I know life is different for everyone, and everyone has a different relationship with God because not everyone needs the same things from Him. However, I do know that He loves us with all of His heart, and with every fiber of His being. He loves us SO MUCH, I can't even describe to you nor fathom the deepness of His love. 

Love and respect

All we can do, as human beings, is love and respect each other. The most important thing that everyone on Earth needs is love. It really shouldn't be that hard, but sometimes it is. I know–though I love most everyone, sometimes I get frustrated with people. Shocker, I know, but it's true. Sometimes people's actions frustrate me. But I have come to realize that there is NOTHING I can do about it. I can't force people to talk to me when they don't want to, I can't force people to be kind to others, I can't force people to do anything. So I just try to do my best to be myself. I do my best to be kind, and I do my best to not let other people's actions get to me. And I do my best to be as Christlike as possible. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it hurts, especially when people judge without knowing anything about what they are judging. But I try to remind myself that I am doing the best that I can, and that is all that I can do. And I know that (or at least, I hope that) other people are doing the best that they can do, too.

Xoxo
Mattie

That's all we can do.

Well my first week at camp is over!!! Man has it been a CRAZY week!! There's been a lot of things happening, but it's been really fun overall! I'm so tired and sore but I'm sure that it will get better in the upcoming week(s) as I get used to all the physical activity that my body is going through. 

There are a lot of things that I learned this week already! Here's a few of them:

1) It's difficult to cook for a ton of teenage boys!! They really like to eat!

2) All boys have the same sense of humor. They think they're so funny but after the first few times, my response is just a groan of annoyance. 

3) Every little thing will be all right. Somehow you'll make it through the day. 

4) Sometimes you have to take a day because you're not feeling well, and that's okay. It's better to rest and build up your strength than to run yourself weary. 

I decided to start reading the Book of Mormon from the very top this week. And I wanted to include the introduction, the testimonies, and the brief explanation of the Book of Mormon. And I discovered something I'd never noticed before. In the brief introduction, it states that, "The original title page, immediately preceding the contents pages, is taken from the plates and is part of the sacred text. Introductions in a non-italic typeface, such as in 1 Nephi...are also part of the sacred text." I had always known that the chapter headings were an addition to the book to let the reader know what's going on. I had little to no idea (AKA either absolutely no idea, or I hadn't consciously made the connection) that the title page and non-italic headings were actually part of the gold plates. I think that's so cool.

I was reading in Joseph Smith's testimony the other day and one thing that I noticed that I have never noticed before was the fact that Joseph actually saw Moroni go up into heaven! I think that that's so amazing! One thing that I really admire about Joseph is just how much he tried to obey God, and how hard he tried to learn from his mistakes. He wasn't perfect, but he really tried to do his best. And that's all that we can do. 

Don't give up. Just because you've made a miatake—big or small—doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. It's just a stumbling block...a learning curve/experience that will help you become a better person. Pick yourself up—or ask for someone to help you up—and try again. Because that's all we can do. Try again. We're not perfect, and we're going to make mistakes. Sometimes we'll make the same mistakes over and over again. Just remember: You are loved. God wants you to prevail. He loves you and trusts you, and wants you to come home to Him. And He is going to do all He can to make sure that you can come home if you want to. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Summer is always a great opportunity to try something new and to have a lot of fun! I'm grateful for the experiences that I've already had this week and I'm looking forward to having many more this summer! I hope you guys do something fun this week!! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

Your worth is infinite, and so is God's love for you.

Sometimes it is so difficult to be patient. Sometimes it is so hard to wait for things you want. Sometimes it is so hard to be patient with people. Sometimes it's easier to be patient. But there's always room for improvement. Some days are more difficult than others, and some days are more easier than others. But even on those days, there is room for improvement. And if you remember how patient Christ is with us, and our shortcomings, I think you will be more likely to be more patient with those around you.

Something that someone said in their testimony today really stood out to me: "When someone wants to diminish the truth of something, they attack the character of the deliverer or main person in the event/story." I really loved this. Jospeh Smith faced a lot of criticism and attacks on his character, but he still stood strong. He still held his faith, and his testimony in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I really admire that about him, and I really look up to him for that. He never backed down, even in times of turmoil or struggle. He stayed strong.

I didn't really take notes in church today because we had some of our cousins with us this weekend and I ended up sitting with A at the end of primary, and also in his class.

But! My friend texted me and reminded me of the worldwide devotional for young adults tonight and so I just watched it and I am so thankful that she texted me about it because I absolutely loved it!!

The speakers were Brother and Sister Kearon–Brother Kearon is from the Presidency of the Seventy.

Sister Kearon's talk was probably my favorite. She spoke about the love of our Father in Heaven. My favorite thing that she said was, "Your Father in Heaven loves you. Whoever you are, whatever you are struggling with, you are enough. He loves you just the way you are right here, right now, in all your beautiful messiness. But He also loves you enough not to let you stay the way you are." I loved that. He loves us as we are, but He also loves us enough to help us grow and change, and become a better person; He loves us enough to help us become more like Him.

She also talked about how the infinite and gentle love of God will help invite us to make changes in our lives. She talked about how we need to experience things that require change and growth, and help us to depend on God. We can do it. Jesus Christ–the Firstborn of God the Father–first bore our trials, sorrows, afflictions, etc. He has promised us hope, and healing, and He will be there. We were created for a joyful, abundant existence, she says. "Your worth is infinite, and so is God's love for you." No matter what you do, your worth is still the same in His eyes. He will always love you.

I am not even going to lie, as soon as Sister Kearon started talking about how "Learning to find, feel, and understand our individual worth, regardless of what other people might think or say about is critical to our lifelong emotional and spiritual well-being", I started to feel the Spirit so strongly, and by the time she got to the part where she was talking about how we are of endless worth to Heavenly Father, I was bawling because it was exactly what I have needed to hear.

Brother Kearon's talk was really great, too, and I really enjoyed his focus on ministering. He talked about first asking God for help to know who we can help. He talked about how the heart of our purpose here on earth is learning to look outward and serve one another. He also talked about how this kind of ministry is a way of life.

He talked about three things that we can do:
1. The kind of service we're assigned or invited to perform as a responsibility at church
2. The kind of service that we choose to do of our own volition
3. Public service

This is how the Savior lived, and this is why He lived.

Learning to trust God in spite of our weaknesses and trials.

My friend and I were talking the other day about a lot of things but one of the last things that we talked about really stood out to me and I've been thinking about it since then. We were talking about weaknesses and strengths, and she named a whole bunch of things I consider weaknesses and she also named how they got turned into strengths. And it was a really special, kind of spiritual experience that I had with her. I have been thinking about how the way I view my weaknesses affects me. If I think of them as just weaknesses, it breaks me, and tears me down. But if I think of them as ways to be stronger, or things that led me to be strong, it builds me up. I see what I've overcome, and I know that I am strong and capable. But when I doubt myself, and let my weaknesses take over me, I feel weak, incapable, depressed, and uncertain of my worthiness and capabilities to be loved or looked up to. It's hard to remember to look at your strengths in a world that is so focused on weaknesses and imperfections in such a negative way, but focusing on your strengths, and how your weaknesses lead you to strengths, is beautiful and empowering, especially when you have God on your side.

I shared this on Facebook yesterday, after thinking about what my friend and I talked about earlier:

"I am my strengths...and I am my weaknesses. Together, they make me who I am. I have my strengths because of my weaknesses. 

My weaknesses do not define me. 

My weaknesses do not make me any less than I am.
My weaknesses make me human.
My strengths do not define me. My strengths do not make me more than I am. My strengths make me human. 

But one cannot have strengths without weaknesses. One cannot have weaknesses without strengths. You must have one to have the other. Together, they make you unstoppable. Indestructible. Powerful. 

God can turn any weakness into a strength. I've seen that in my own life, and a friend recently brought to my attention just how many weaknesses I have that He's helped me turn into strengths. I'm not perfect at them, but I'm trying my best. And that's all we can do."

The answers will come in time.

Finals week is finally here and I could not do it without my Savior. This week has been really difficult mentally and I am so grateful I am not alone. I got my first two finals DONE! And although I am nervous for the remaining three, I feel like I will be able to focus and study more this week.
I am so thankful for friends willing to talk and listen. It has been so helpful this week. Finals week is always hard, but for some reason this semester's finals have seemed to be so impossible. I think it might be because of a lot of things, but I am slowly working through it with the help of my Savior. He has made this insanely difficult semester bearable, and He has blessed me with amazing roommates and friends that I can talk to. I can never thank Him–or them–enough for being willing to be there, and for being there for me on my darkest, most lonely, most depressing, most unmotivated days. There are some things, I've come to realize, I have to live with, and some of those things I can't deal with alone. So I am beyond blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who sent His Son to die for me so that I don't have to go through it alone. I can always turn to Him and He will always be there for me. 

I had a wonderful day today, and I did a lot of thinking. I've done a lot of thinking these past few weeks.

College is so difficult.

Dating is so difficult.

Life is hard. You have to deal with lots and lots of people with many different personalities. You have to figure out how to deal with their emotions, and how to treat them properly. You have to go to work, and go to school.

It's hard to maintain an eternal perspective in life sometimes.  But God will bless you with people. He will bless you with experiences. He will bless you with exactly what you need to remind you of your divine potential. He will bless with you with exactly what you need to keep an eternal perspective.

You have to keep your head up.

You might be going through some crazy tough times, and it might have been happening for a long time, or for a short period of time. You might not understand WHY these things are happening to you. You might not be able to see HOW these trials will help you in the future.

But I promise you...the answers WILL come in time. God will not leave you alone, without answers or peace. He will bless you. He loves you and wants what is best for you.

Xoxo
Mattie

Changes.

So these were my thoughts during the sacrament today:

Well this weekend has been full of change. My roommates for the past eight months/school year all moved out to a different apartment, I received a new roommate who's really cool, and we're going to be getting  a new bishopric today. I am going to miss the old bishopric but am excited to see who our new bishopric is going to be. I am looking forward to this summer–lots of fun things to do, and I hope to get more excited as the summer goes on. Right now I am excited and nervous, because I've never spent the summer away from home before, but I think it will be fun. I'm grateful for my Savior–finals week was rough and tough, but I did it! And I was sick, too. I got all the rest I needed to get through finals. And now I should be able to catch up on my sleep and get so much better. I might be changing my major...again. But this will be the last time, I promise! I was having lunch with some friends on Wednesday and they mentioned this new major to me–and I don't need to apply to get in! That's exactly what I need! I'm going to look into it and probably go see someone in the department in the next couple of weeks so that I can hurry and change my fall schedule accordingly. Also, I got a SCHOLARSHIP for next year!! So that's fun. :)

I am going to miss our old bishopric, but Brother Durfey is staying!! So that is really awesome. Our new bishop seems really great and I'm excited to get to know him, our new counselor, and their wives. 

I'm feeling much better this week than I was last week, but I still have that blasted cough and cold! I'm hoping that catching up on sleep this week will be just the thing I need. I'm so grateful–my custodial job's hours are being pushed up (back?). I'm not sure of the phrasing but it's now from 4-8 instead of 5-9. So that will be just great!

I might be changing my major again...the Lord sure has a funny way of getting me on the right path hahaha but I still love Him :) Also I got a scholarship for fall/winter of 2017/2018!! I am so excited!! What a weight lifted off my shoulders–I don't have to repay it!!

As you can see, it's been quite a weekend, and I'm grateful for it. I'm looking forward to the future, and to having new things in my life. On to what I learned today. :) 

Sacrament meeting was quite emotional haha–I tried not to cry but once Sister Anderson started tearing up, I started crying, and basically didn't stop...I mean, it wasn't full-on waterworks, just a slow trickle, but I definitely was trying to hold back.

Sister Anderson:

Get sleep. Look for ways to serve others.

Heavenly Father notices effort, and He blesses effort.

(our old bishop) Bishop Anderson:

Inspiration can come at any time (but hearing the Spirit is harder the later it is).

Service can be difficult, but the Lord blesses us.

The Lord loves His children. He loves you and knows you.

He lives, loves, and knows you.

He smiles and is happy with minuscule changes. Keep trying to change! Focus on where you know He wants you to go. 

The Lord is quick to forgive.

"I'm not perfect yet."

There is power in the priesthood.

If you will let Him in, He will bless you.

(My favorite thing that Bishop said was "I'm not perfect yet." There is power in the fact that we have room to change and improve. We have the chance to progress here on earth. That's why we're here.)

Sister Wilhite:

There is no other way but through this Church.

Brother Wilhite:

The Savior lives and loves you.

(our new bishop) Bishop Frank Maughan:

We are noble and great.

Some of the things mentioned in Sunday School were:

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know and love us

Temple attendance and prayer are great and important things that we should be doing

"Move your life forward."

Priesthood/Relief Society was combined today: (topic was Sabbath Day)

Pres. Hinckley said "every sacrament meeting ought to be a spiritual feast" and "a time of spiritual refreshment."

"If the service is a failure to you, you have failed. No one can worship for you." Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

"The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things. Abstinence from work and recreation is important, but insufficient. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it. To observe it, one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, writing letters to missionaries, taking a nap, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day at which he is expected." ~Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

Funny thing...the reason why this is so late today is because I've been napping all afternoon. I'm just following the prophet. ;)

On a more serious note, I'm grateful for what I learned today. I'm grateful for my new roommate, who is just awesome!! Seriously, guys, she wrote me a note while I was napping in the living room!! We are going to get along just fine :) #ilovewritingnotes

I'm also grateful for our old bishopric, and our new bishopric. I am excited to get to know them, and I'm excited to get to know all of the new people who are moving into the ward this summer. I'm looking forward to all of the fun summer things that can happen this summer, and I hope that this summer will be an awesome one.

I know that God loves you, and I know that He is watching out for you, and guiding you. I know that your Savior loves you, and wants what is best for you. I know that service is the best way to show your Father in Heaven that you love Him. I know that service also always, always, always makes you feel better, about whatever it is you're going through. Taking time to put aside your worries and troubles and bless someone else's life makes you feel better, and you will be blessed for it.

I hope you all have a great week! For those of you still in school, hold on! It's almost over, and you can do it! <3

Xoxo

Mattie

Have faith and step into the darkness.

Loved everything about the lessons today.

So my thoughts during the sacrament today were a little scatterbrained but that's because it was a crazy week last week and I'm still on a high from meeting Peter Hollens (!!!) last night. So I apologize for that but I did say some good things:

Personally, this past week was insane for a number of reasons *cough* midterms *cough* but I was able to get through it! Eventually. The week started on a low note and as the week went on I swore it was just getting lower and lower, but it did end on a super high note: we won our football game Friday night and then I was able to go to the BYU Spectacular Saturday night with my friend! I had such a blast and got to meet Peter Hollens (definitely a highlight). I am so grateful for the hand of my Savior this week. Many times I just wanted to quit and give up because I thought I couldn't do it or I didn't want to do it. But I persevered and was able to do everything  I needed to this week (admittedly some things had less than pleasant outcomes but that is okay) and then I was blessed with a great weekend. There are some things that I have been working on for a while that I am getting better at, and slowly and surely it's working. I need to focus harder, however, because even though I'm working on them, I could still be working harder. That's my goal this week, and I am so glad I have my Savior to help me. <3

Sacrament meeting was really great today. And it didn't fly by like it normally does. It went slowly and took some time, which was great because I needed to focus today. Today the main message of sacrament meeting was temples and coming unto to Christ. Here is a collection of some of the thoughts that stood out to me:
-God gives us second chances and do-overs because He loves us.
-Do you know His (Christ's) voice? Will you drop everything and come unto Him?
-Learn about Him; come to know Him by reading the scriptures.
-It doesn't matter how far off the path you are, you can always come back, and you will be blessed just for trying.
-One way to come unto Christ is through temple worship.
-Put your trust in Him.
-As we stop fighting against the Lord and try our best, He will make up the difference.
-We come unto Christ by trying and trying again.

In Gospel Doctrine Johanna shared a quote from C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters which I have been meaning to read for awhile now but just haven't gotten around to it yet. Anyway, the quote was, "It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out." We talked about how Satan often tries just to keep us busy enough so that we don't have time for scripture study and prayer–sins of omission instead of commission. We were in Helaman 13-15 today, and the story is the story of Samuel the Lamanite. We talked about how opposition is required in order to be able to tell the difference between right and wrong. We also talked about how God wants to save us! He loves us. God loves broken things because He is the only one who can fix them, and so He wants us to come to Him because He can fix us. That reminded me of a song by Kenneth Cope, found here. It's a good song. It talks about how God loves broken things, including us. God chastens those He loves because He wants us to grow and become better; much like when a parent chastens their child, they are only doing it for their good. One other thing that was mentioned was the fact that Satan is trying to do something with us, but God is trying to make something of us.

In Relief Society we talked about faith and testimony. There were three main things that were mentioned:
1. Through faith we can find God and know that He lives.
-Our greatest quest in this life is a search for God, and our purpose in this life is to grow our faith.
2. We must believe in order to see.
-Faith is the step in the darkness before the light.
-"In order to find God as a reality, we must follow the course which he pointed out for the quest."
-Faith is a process, and it oscillates. Sometimes we have more faith and sometimes we have less.
-We can't wait until the result; that's not how faith works.
3. Acting on faith leads to personal testimony.
-Heavenly Father will take care of me (I loved this! One of the girls said that she just said this one time and it is so true. I don't know all things but I don't have to worry too much because Heavenly Father will make sure I'm taken care of).
-Hold to the rod; don't hold onto the world, but make time for Christ.
-God knows you. Have faith and step into the darkness.

Loved the messages shared today! I also had the opportunity to be set apart today and heard some things that I needed a reminder of. I'm looking forward to trying to be better about certain things in these upcoming weeks. I know that if I turn to my Savior He'll help me. I'm not alone, and I am capable of so much more than I think I am. I am so grateful for my Savior and my Heavenly Father. They do so much for me, and help me so much. I would not be who or where I am today without Them. I have had many times in my life where I haven't known what will happen or where I will be going but I have stepped into the unknown in faith and it has lead me to be who I am today. I would not change who I am for the world.

I hope that we can all come to accept those around us and accept the differences between us. This world is changing in many ways but I hope that the innate human nature to be kind will always be around in people like me and my friends.

Xoxo
Mattie

"My kindness shall not depart from thee."

Oftentimes a lot of thinking goes into what I'm going to post. Sometimes I don't know exactly what I want to say or focus on. Today was one of those days.

I was thinking all day about what to post–and today I've been up since 7. I turned on my church/inspirational playlist on my iPod this morning, hoping that something would stand out, because usually it does. Nothing was standing out to me. Disheartened, I headed off to the singles ward with my sister this morning. What followed was perhaps the best answer to unspoken prayers and pleas that I've ever received.

Today is Fast Sunday, so everyone was given the opportunity after the sacrament to bear their testimonies. The Bishop was the first one to give his testimony, and I am so grateful for his testimony! He mentioned a couple of things that I specifically needed to hear, and he talked a lot about hope. One of the things that he mentioned that I loved was that we don't need confirmation for all of the decisions in our life. He then followed with the thought that Heavenly Father will let us know when we're off the path–not necessarily because of sin, but maybe we took a wrong turn–and He will direct us back. I had kind of already known that, but the way he said it and then followed it was so profound to me. 

In another testimony, someone said that Heavenly Father answers our prayers, even when we think He's not listening. And then they said that He wants us to be happy–truly happy–and we can't do it on our own. And they were right–we can't do it on our own. 

One of the last people to give their testimony said He is aware of us and wants us to succeed, and He sets us free from the things that hold us back. And He does–He puts people in our lives to help us, and He removes those people that we don't need in our life anymore, as well as many other things, to help us succeed.

Pretty much every single person (hahaha that was an accident, I swear) that bore their testimony talked about God's love for us, which I felt was for me.

In Relief Society, the trend continued, and one of the first things that the teacher said was that Heavenly Father's love for us is perfect. It's hard for us to imagine, seeing as how we live in an imperfect world, but His love for us is perfect. His purpose is to help us return to Him (Moses 1:39). Sometimes, someone said, He lets us struggle. But He's always there to help us. 

Sort of going off of that, one of the sisters said that she, too, (though to her it wasn't an "as well" moment) had noticed the message of God's love and that she had needed it. 

And that made me think: I've always known that we all have struggles, but usually they're all different struggles at the same time–one person may struggle with feeling the Spirit, or with doing visiting teaching or whatever–and I've never really had people with the same struggles mention it, at least. Never has it ever been so real to me that we all struggle. And sometimes we all struggle with the same things. 

She also said something about her niece and brother and then related that to our Heavenly Father that I definitely needed: her niece has muscle problems, and she said that she was watching her brother and niece, and they were both on their tummies, and he was facing his daughter, his face right in her face. She said her niece hates tummy time, so she was trying to push up. Her brother said (paraphrasing), "I know, baby, I know it's so hard right now, but it's good for you, and someday you'll have it down and it'll be so easy, I promise." And she then said that Heavenly Father is right there with us, watching us, helping us. He knows it's hard, and that we're struggling, but He also knows that we can do it. We can do it, and He is right there to help us when we need it. 

While I was writing this up, my playlist was playing in the background, and this song stood out to me. This song is sung from our Heavenly Father to us. He's saying that He will be there for us! He loves us and He will be with us. His kindness will never leave us because He will never leave us. One of the lines in the song is "How long can rolling waters remain impure?" and that stood out to me because during sacrament meeting, someone bore their testimony about that and said that they can't; we are given trials and struggles to help refine us. Then she said that Christ walks on those rolling waters, so fear not. I also want to throw in this line of the song that is my absolute favorite: "So hold on thy way, for I shall be with thee. And mine angels shall encircle thee. Doubt not what thou knowest, fear not man, for he cannot hurt thee." The bolded phrase is my favorite because it reminds me of President Uchtdorf's famous quote, "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."

I was blessed today in many ways that were unexpected but needed, and I am so grateful for those that were willing to share their thoughts today. 

God loves us so much! He loves me, and He also loves you. He is always there for us when we need help, strength, and guidance. He sends us people and experiences that we need when we need them, or before we need them, and often also during the time that we need them. He lets us walk our path on our own, but when we are going the wrong way, He will guide us back. He will never let us walk alone, and He will never leave us alone. 

You are loved, you are wanted, you are needed, and you are here for a reason. Find that reason! Find your passion, and go after it. You have something to give to this world that no one else can give. God will help you find your reason, and He will help you to be able to give what you can give. <3

He forces no one.

This weekend was General Conference!! I was so excited to be able to hear the messages of our prophets and leaders. I was not disappointed (never ever have I been disappointed)! I was blessed to be able to hear answers to prayers and questions that I have had, and also to questions I didn't know I had. There were some really powerful messages this weekend. I missed part of both of the Saturday sessions, so I cannot wait to read them again when they become available.

Though I loved them all, I'm going to share just a few of my favorite quotes (some may or may not be paraphrased). The bolded ones are the ones that really stood out to me. You can watch the messages or read them online when they become available at lds.org. :)

Pres. Donald L. Hallstrom:
-He allows some suffering because He knows it will bless us.

Elder Kevin R. Duncan:
-We can forgive, and we can be free.
-To forgive is not to condone.

Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson:
-It is a daily decision to choose faith over doubt.

Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
-There is no life so shattered that it cannot be restored.
-It matters not how you became lost. What matters is you are His child and He loves you.
-He will force no one to heaven. He will not rescue you if it is not your will.
-God sees us as we truly are, and He sees us worthy of rescue.

Elder Robert D. Hales:
-The Holy Ghost is not given to control us.

Elder Patrick Kearon:
-We must take a stance against intolerance.
-This moment does not define them, but our response will define us.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks:
-It is opposition that enables choice.
-Some things can only be learned by faith.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:
-We all have to come down from peak experiences to deal with the vicissitudes of life.
-The Lord blesses those who want to improve.
-We are to deal justly...walk humbly...and judge righteously.
-If we give our hearts to God, then tomorrow and every other day is ultimately going to be magnificent.

Again, it was an amazing weekend filled with inspired messages and I am so grateful that I was able to hear answers to my prayers and questions. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the living prophet today. I know that Joseph Smith, Jr. restored the true church to the earth. I know that Heavenly Father sent His Son to die for us. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and I know that He atoned for us, and that He was resurrected for us. I know that we are loved by our Savior and our Heavenly Father. I know that the speakers this weekend were inspired by God to talk about what we most needed to hear. I am so grateful that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am so grateful that I know that this is the true church, and that I know that God loves us and wants us to return to live with Him again. I also want to repeat what President Uchtdorf said about how He won't force anyone to heaven. It is your decision to listen, and to apply, and to do, and it is also your decision to turn away. He loves you, but He won't force you to be somewhere that you are not happy; He will respect your decision. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Blessings.

I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father. This week, my quote is, "You are beautiful, capable, and strong. <3" and I've really needed that this week. It's been a tough one, and I still have two days left! I'm going to the health center tomorrow morning after work because my throat hurts when I swallow and my cough has gotten worse than it was (which was just coughing when I laughed, but this past week it has gotten a little worse). I hope it's nothing too serious!! I just started in the a cappella club at BYU and I really don't want to have something bad happen to my throat!! Please pray for me to feel better and to go back to full health soon. I know that I was inspired to create that quote this week for a reason. God loves me and He loves you and I hope you remember that. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Fragile.

People are fragile. Mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically.

Fragility is a delicate thing (how ironic). Some people don't like to let others know that they're fragile, or that they're hurting, or that something is wrong.

People want to be (or at least appear to be) strong. This results in people not always telling the truth to the questions "Are you okay?"; "How are you?"; and "Did you have a good day?", etc. Sometimes it's because you're not explaining what's wrong. (I admit that I, too, have been guilty of this a time or two)

But: 

"It's not about your scars 

It's all about your heart" 

(All About Your Heart, Mindy Gledhill)

We all have scars. But that's all they are: they're scars--meaning they've healed over. What matters is your heart—what's on the inside. I know sometimes we are delicate around certain scar subjects, and that's okay, but you need to know that it's okay to have scars. It's okay to have stories. Without your scars, you wouldn't be who you are today, and—because of that—other people wouldn't be who they are today and so on. 

Just know this:

You

Are

Important

Now and forever. 

There is nothing to be ashamed about in having scars. It's completely normal. I have some scars and yeah, it's hard. Definitely. Especially because it's not something I really talk about. But the experience has made me a stronger person—a better person. 

And guess what? God loves you no matter what. And I love you, too. That's the way it's always going to be. If you really are scared, turn to Him. He's there to help you and to heal you. <3

Be positive about who you are.

"I am a unique, amazing, superhero kind of person. There will never be another me. I am the one who will decide how I will feel about myself. I am my goodness, my character, my talents and my kindness. This is who I am. What other people think of me doesn't matter. If they say mean things about me, it doesn't change my value. I am still the same me. I can ignore mean comments because I am a good and important person, and nothing will ever charge that. I know who I am. My value comes from the fact that I am unique. I don't waste time comparing myself to other people. I am the perfect me and they are the perfect them. Our differences make us both amazing. My life is a classroom and I am here to learn and grow. Every experience I have teaches me something. I am right on track in my process of leaning. I am doing great. If I make a mistake, I apologize and work to do better in the future. I am still a good person. It was just a lesson. No one is better or worse than anyone else. We all have the same value. I choose to see every person as the same as me. I never gossip, criticize or judge other people. We are all doing the best we can with what we know. We are all learning and growing. I can forgive others. I am here to help other people. I am always looking for people who need help or friendship. I am a friend to all. I have the power to treat people with love and kindness, even when they don't deserve it. I do this because I am a kind person. I choose my attitude in each situation. I can choose to feel bad about myself and scared. Or I can choose to feel like a superhero--strong, safe and loving. I choose a positive attitude every time. I believe in myself. I have everything I need to succeed in life. I am the amazing me."

I was going back through my Facebook posts, and I found this one. This is from a piece of paper that I assume I got in Young Women's, but I don't remember. Anyway! I love this!!! It's very uplifting and inspirational. You are who you are meant to be, and you are so amazing! "There is no one alive who is you-er than you!" (Dr. Seuss). God loves you and He made you just how He wants you to be. Be positive and happy about who you are. Attitude is everything.  

Tender mercies. God loves you. You are not alone.

For seminary, we have to have our bishop send something to the seminary so that they know that we are on track for seminary graduation. Well, I went in, and it came up that I was having some troubles.
And my bishop told me that God loves me. Doesn't matter what I do, my worth to Him will never change.
I am His daughter–I am a daughter of a King––the Almighty God––and He loves me––imperfect, and mistaken, and broken.
He wants me to turn to Him. He wants me to tell Him what is going on in my life. He wants me to turn to Him. He wants me to talk to Him, to pray to Him. That meeting was a tender mercy. I never knew until that moment that I had needed to hear that God loves me no matter what, and that I am His daughter, and that I am not alone. Such a tender mercy! I have always known those things, but I guess recently it hadn't really stuck with me, so hearing it from my bishop was a tender mercy. Because my bishop wants me to–and I really want to and I need to–I am going to try and be better about my prayers and scripture study. It's going to be a little difficult at first, but I know I can do it with Heavenly Father's help.

I give my love to all!

<3 Mattie

What does God want me to learn from this?

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend and I was saying how I wished I had a job and also how I was super worried about college because I haven't heard back from any of my colleges (and one college I applied to a couple of my friends also applied to and they have already heard back) and how no one wants me to be productive. I didn't tell my friend, but I was crying because the idea of the future–which is unknown–is frightening to me, and I'm so scared I'll never get a job or get into college (also because I'm just a crybaby haha), and also I'm still depressed that I didn't get into the talent show again. Well, my friend said, 'Listen Mattie, think of it like this, don't ask "why do I not have a job right now?" ask "what does God want me to learn from this?"' He also said that "pearls given are rocks, pearls earned are priceless", meaning that finding things out for ourselves is a much sweeter reward than just being given the answers.
He also gave me this poem:

"My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me,
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow,
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I, the underside.
Not till the loom in silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned."
(Unknown)

And I thought, "Sure, these are great words, but I'm still so scared and I don't know what to do." And I follow this blog that I go on reading splurges–when I first found it, I read the blog posts for hours and then I didn't really read any more until yesterday when I went on another splurge–and I was reading it yesterday and she said some things that hit home. God will always send us what we need. He sends us who we need, and He sends them when we need it. Never before we're ready. He only sends us answers when we are ready for them. And I love that. Sometimes, the answers are not what we want or expect, and so if we receive them before we are ready, we won't understand. We need to be humbled before God can give us the answers that we need and will be able to understand. We may not always understand why He gave us the answers He did, but we will be humbler and more ready for the answers. We need to humble ourselves and look for the answer; only then will God reveal His answer and plan to us (in pieces). He doesn't just give us the answers; I saw this thing that said, "The teacher is quiet during the test", and it's true. God doesn't just hand out answers willy-nilly. We need to work hard for them. I know that He loves us, and I know that He will help us if we ask Him to. So, to answer my question, "What does God want me to learn from this?" Right now, I don't know what He wants me to learn. But I am definitely going to find out soon.

God loves you. And He knows just how to talk to you.

I went babysitting yesterday for some of the sweetest girls. I put the younger girl down earlier than I did the older one, and when I was putting the oldest to bed, I read her some stories. She picked the first one, and it was a silly book about animal sounds and how pigs don't sing. Anyway, I picked the second book, and she had a copy of You Are Special by Max Lucado. I absolutely love his books, especially that one, and so I picked that one and read it to her. I had to whisper it because she kept saying, "Marlie's sleeping, Marlie's asleep," and she wouldn't let me talk in an above whisper. Anywho, as I kept reading the story, I smiled as I remembered reading it when I was little. But when I got to the part where Punchinello goes to see Eli, I started to tear up and cry because Eli represents our Heavenly Father, and we are the Wemmicks, and Eli was telling Punchinello that he is special, and loved, and the dots and star stickers (stereotypes--smart, dumb, chipped, etc.) only stuck if he let them. And I just couldn't stop crying because I felt like God was talking to me, telling me through this book that I could have not chosen (there were several others that I had read as a child and would've loved to read again) that I was special. That I was loved. That it doesn't matter what others think of me. All that matters is what God thinks of me. And He thinks I'm special just the way I am. And if you haven't read You Are Special or any of Max Lucado's books, you need to go find some copies and read them because I know that they will touch you. As a child, you don't really understand the meaning of stories—to you, they're literally just stories. But as you grow older, you come to realize that some stories have morals, themes, meanings, or symbolize other things, and you pick up on them. I know that God speaks to us in different ways—He speaks often through other people and what they do, and He also speaks through promptings He gives to you. I know that He loves you just the way you are. I know that He knows you and knows which ways you receive His words and love best. I know that I picked that book yesterday for a reason; I know I was prompted to pick it to help me. I'm grateful for God's love and I'm grateful that He cares enough to let me know through a children's book that I'm special and loved just the way I am, and the only opinion that matters is His.