The view is always breathtaking.

I’ve been working on this post 𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓵 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴. I just haven’t been able to figure out the words to describe all that I’ve felt in my heart about this. It hits close to home for me, and I know that I have friends who have and do feel similarly. I wanted to do this topic justice. 

Earlier this week on my Facebook profile, I shared a post about how important it is to enjoy life where you are at. Then I commented about how it's okay to struggle with enjoying life where you are at. Then I added how it's okay to work on enjoying life one piece at a time.

I feel the need to share that 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙩. Life is hard because that is the way that life is. Our bodies are mortal and can fail us. Sometimes the actions of others can cause us mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual harm. Life takes us in a different direction than maybe we wanted to be headed in. Sometimes we need to be doing things that we don't want to be doing. That is okay.

In this article entitled "If God Loves Me, Why Is Life So Hard?", there is a story of a little girl with a brain tumor. She shows such strength and faith in God throughout her trial.

“7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖆 𝖘𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖒𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙; 8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8).

I love this scripture. My favorite part is "a small moment". To us, life feels like ᗩ ᒪOOOᑎG ᗰOᗰEᑎT. But, in reality, it is but a small moment that goes by faster than you think. 

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, we just started the new year, but we are already 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓯𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓾𝓪𝓻𝔂!!! My birthday is at the end of January, and every year I can't ever wait til my birthday, but it seems like time always goes by so slow! But then when I look at it, it has gone by so fast!

In applying this to ❝𝑒𝓃𝒿💮𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓎🌺𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓉❞, oftentimes, the things that trouble us, the things that make us cry every other night, or the things that make us hide in the bathroom at work...these things seem to last a long time. Sometimes they can. Sometimes these things can last years. But, upon reflection, it was "𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉".

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, my first year of college was really difficult. However, it was ❝𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂🌺𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉❞ in the grand scheme of things. College seemed to take ᖴOᖇEᐯEᖇ, but I am now graduated.

It's okay to not enjoy life where you are at...but it is also important to remember that it 𝓲𝓼 where you are currently at. So, what can you do to be 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 with where you are at?

Well, first of all, I think that accepting that you aren't enjoying life where you at is a good start. Being honest with yourself is important.

Second, I think that telling God (even though He already knows) that you aren't enjoying life right now is also important. It's important for you to be honest with God, and for you and God to be on the same page. 

Third, I think that telling a loved one (either a family member or close friend) that you aren't enjoying life right now is a good idea as well. Having not only God's help, but help from someone close to you here on Earth is a good step forward. Together, they will be able to help you through this.

Fourth, know that 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 💮𝓀𝒶𝓎. Know that 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖. We all have moments where life is challenging. We all have moments where life isn't enjoyable anymore. And that's okay.

There are so many other things that you can do to be okay with where you are at. Finding something that you enjoy doing in your spare time. Learning a new hobby. Finding a project to start that you can work on and be able to finish is a good idea. I like having something that I have accomplished. Taking a few minutes or so to let yourself be a little sad about life can also be an option, but you shouldn't let it overwhelm you every day.

Finally, just remember that y⃣   o⃣   u⃣    a⃣   r⃣   e⃣    l⃣   o⃣   v⃣   e⃣   d⃣! By Someone who is not only the most High Being, but is your Heavenly Father! You have loving Heavenly Parents who care for you, and want you to succeed. They know that life is hard, but They want you to remember Them. In addition to Heavenly Parents, you are loved by me. You have family, friends–you are surrounded by loved ones. I know it can be difficult to believe, see, and understand their love, but ίŦ ιs ⓐ𝓛𝓌𝔞𝕐𝓈 丅нᵉяᗴ!

I love you! I know that God loves you, too! Life is an uphill climb sometimes, and you might not like the hike, but man, the view is always breathtaking! 💜💜💜

I hope this week has been a good one for you! If not, I hope that you have been able to find time to feel God's love for you in one way or another! I will be praying for you! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Faith in the Father.

For the sacrament hymn today, we sang As Now We Take the Sacrament, and the third verse really hit me.

"As now we praise thy name with song, The blessings of this day
Will linger in our thankful hearts, And silently we pray
For courage to accept thy will, To listen and obey.
We love thee, Lord; our hearts are full.
We'll walk thy chosen way."

I'm trying SO HARD to accept the path that He has in store for me but it's really hard. Sometimes it seems like I'm making progress, but then I have a really hard day and I don't know if I can do it anymore. I know that we all have our own paths but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's hard to accept the path that God has for me, especially when I'm not really sure exactly what that path is.

Yesterday I went to the temple and it was SO needed! I received much peace and love from my Heavenly Father. But it's still hard. I'm trying to live my life and it's okay most of the time. But there are moments when it's not okay. There are moments when I am not okay. AND THAT IS OKAY. I need to be PATIENT. It's HARD but I know that it will be worth it. I need to focus on the things that I am DOING and remember to trust Him. He trusts me to choose the direction I want to go, apparently, so I can do any of the things I've been pondering about lately. I just need to choose and have faith in Him.

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I had a moment the other day where I was writing some things down. One is not necessarily anything special–it's not a poem or anything but it means something to me.

I feel unrecognizable. I look in the mirror and I see myself...but I don't recognize myself. Some days I am happier than I can remember. But some days I am sadder than ever. 

I think I have been stretched beyond recognition these past few years and I hope that is a good thing. I hope I am a new person–a better person–than I was at the start of my last chapter. This new chapter is going to be difficult–lots of new experiences, friends, and trials–but I just need to take things one page...one sentence...one word...one letter at a time.

One is a poem and I thought that it was helpful for me to write–I got to see my relationship with myself and with God in words–so I wanted to share and give a challenge to you to write your own version. Pick a phrase that means a lot to you and find words that describe you to make your own little poem. :)

"Selected by Him" by Mattie Radke
I am Strong
I am Educated
I am Loving
I am Elect
I am Compassionate
I am Thoughtful
I am Elegant
I am Devoted 

I am Beautiful
I am extraordinarY

I am Helpful 

I am Intelligent 

I am Mattie

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I'm trying every day to be better, but sometimes it's difficult. Sometimes all I can do is go to work and come home and sleep because I'm exhausted from trying. Sometimes I feel like the last four years have STRETCHED ME OUT beyond recognition. I am soo not the same person I was four years ago.

Sometimes it's hard to apply the things that I know. I know that God has a plan for me...but sometimes it's hard to accept that His plan is different than mine. I know that God trusts me...but sometimes it's hard for me to trust His trust in me. But yesterday, when I was in the temple, I had a thought. All I can do is try. I am not perfect. I am human–I have too many emotions and I make mistakes all the time. But...I keep trying. And that is all that He asks me to do. 

I'm so excited for the month of July! My family is going on vacation this week and then I am going to New York next week!! I am hoping that getting out of my normal routine for a couple of weeks will be good for me! I am so pleased with how everything has been coming together and I am grateful for the chance to get away for a bit!

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that I am sometimes hard to work with, but I am grateful for their continued support and love. I hope that I will be able to make my Heavenly Parents and my Savior proud of me in the years to come. I am trying hard to be better than my emotions and my mental illnesses but sometimes it's hard. So I'm grateful to have my Savior to depend on and turn to, and I am grateful to have my Heavenly Father's love and support. I am grateful to have Him standing beside me. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Learning to trust God in spite of our weaknesses and trials.

My friend and I were talking the other day about a lot of things but one of the last things that we talked about really stood out to me and I've been thinking about it since then. We were talking about weaknesses and strengths, and she named a whole bunch of things I consider weaknesses and she also named how they got turned into strengths. And it was a really special, kind of spiritual experience that I had with her. I have been thinking about how the way I view my weaknesses affects me. If I think of them as just weaknesses, it breaks me, and tears me down. But if I think of them as ways to be stronger, or things that led me to be strong, it builds me up. I see what I've overcome, and I know that I am strong and capable. But when I doubt myself, and let my weaknesses take over me, I feel weak, incapable, depressed, and uncertain of my worthiness and capabilities to be loved or looked up to. It's hard to remember to look at your strengths in a world that is so focused on weaknesses and imperfections in such a negative way, but focusing on your strengths, and how your weaknesses lead you to strengths, is beautiful and empowering, especially when you have God on your side.

I shared this on Facebook yesterday, after thinking about what my friend and I talked about earlier:

"I am my strengths...and I am my weaknesses. Together, they make me who I am. I have my strengths because of my weaknesses. 

My weaknesses do not define me. 

My weaknesses do not make me any less than I am.
My weaknesses make me human.
My strengths do not define me. My strengths do not make me more than I am. My strengths make me human. 

But one cannot have strengths without weaknesses. One cannot have weaknesses without strengths. You must have one to have the other. Together, they make you unstoppable. Indestructible. Powerful. 

God can turn any weakness into a strength. I've seen that in my own life, and a friend recently brought to my attention just how many weaknesses I have that He's helped me turn into strengths. I'm not perfect at them, but I'm trying my best. And that's all we can do."