He'll provide a way.

This was quite the weekend. I woke up sick Saturday morning around 5am and ended up staying in bed all day resting my body. It was glorious. Even though I was still not feeling well by the end of the day, I was feeling 5-10% better that night. And yesterday I was feeling about 25-75% better.

Something I've learned this week while I was studying the scriptures was that humbleness can be trusting God even when you can't hear Him.

My family watched the Youth Face to Face event yesterday afternoon, which was explaining more about the changes to the youth programs, and David Archuleta introduced and sang the new song for next year's theme ("I Will Go and Do"), and one of my favorite lines was, "He'll provide a way." I loved this! This has been a major theme in the last couple of weeks as I have been reminded many times by close friends about God's timing, and His love and grace.

I first off want to say how grateful I am for artists like David Archuleta, Calee Reed, Hilary Weeks, Gentri, Cherie Call, and many, many others who share their faith through music and song. I am grateful for their messages of love, hope, and for their testimonies that shine through their music.

Second, I want to say how grateful I am for all of the blessings in my life, and for the blessings that I get because of the things that I am doing every day to improve and increase my testimony. I've been struggling with a lot of things these last couple of months, but in the last couple of weeks, I have been reminded of my blessings. I have been reminded of the Lord's plan for me, and of the opportunities I have to find joy in my life.

Sorry that this post is so late but yesterday was a little crazy, what with me still being sick and not entirely feeling up to doing a lot of things.

Hope everyone has a great week! My sister is getting married this week so our week is going to be crazy busy, but hopefully it will be a wonderful week with family! :)

Xoxo
Mattie

Faith in the Father.

For the sacrament hymn today, we sang As Now We Take the Sacrament, and the third verse really hit me.

"As now we praise thy name with song, The blessings of this day
Will linger in our thankful hearts, And silently we pray
For courage to accept thy will, To listen and obey.
We love thee, Lord; our hearts are full.
We'll walk thy chosen way."

I'm trying SO HARD to accept the path that He has in store for me but it's really hard. Sometimes it seems like I'm making progress, but then I have a really hard day and I don't know if I can do it anymore. I know that we all have our own paths but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's hard to accept the path that God has for me, especially when I'm not really sure exactly what that path is.

Yesterday I went to the temple and it was SO needed! I received much peace and love from my Heavenly Father. But it's still hard. I'm trying to live my life and it's okay most of the time. But there are moments when it's not okay. There are moments when I am not okay. AND THAT IS OKAY. I need to be PATIENT. It's HARD but I know that it will be worth it. I need to focus on the things that I am DOING and remember to trust Him. He trusts me to choose the direction I want to go, apparently, so I can do any of the things I've been pondering about lately. I just need to choose and have faith in Him.

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I had a moment the other day where I was writing some things down. One is not necessarily anything special–it's not a poem or anything but it means something to me.

I feel unrecognizable. I look in the mirror and I see myself...but I don't recognize myself. Some days I am happier than I can remember. But some days I am sadder than ever. 

I think I have been stretched beyond recognition these past few years and I hope that is a good thing. I hope I am a new person–a better person–than I was at the start of my last chapter. This new chapter is going to be difficult–lots of new experiences, friends, and trials–but I just need to take things one page...one sentence...one word...one letter at a time.

One is a poem and I thought that it was helpful for me to write–I got to see my relationship with myself and with God in words–so I wanted to share and give a challenge to you to write your own version. Pick a phrase that means a lot to you and find words that describe you to make your own little poem. :)

"Selected by Him" by Mattie Radke
I am Strong
I am Educated
I am Loving
I am Elect
I am Compassionate
I am Thoughtful
I am Elegant
I am Devoted 

I am Beautiful
I am extraordinarY

I am Helpful 

I am Intelligent 

I am Mattie

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I'm trying every day to be better, but sometimes it's difficult. Sometimes all I can do is go to work and come home and sleep because I'm exhausted from trying. Sometimes I feel like the last four years have STRETCHED ME OUT beyond recognition. I am soo not the same person I was four years ago.

Sometimes it's hard to apply the things that I know. I know that God has a plan for me...but sometimes it's hard to accept that His plan is different than mine. I know that God trusts me...but sometimes it's hard for me to trust His trust in me. But yesterday, when I was in the temple, I had a thought. All I can do is try. I am not perfect. I am human–I have too many emotions and I make mistakes all the time. But...I keep trying. And that is all that He asks me to do. 

I'm so excited for the month of July! My family is going on vacation this week and then I am going to New York next week!! I am hoping that getting out of my normal routine for a couple of weeks will be good for me! I am so pleased with how everything has been coming together and I am grateful for the chance to get away for a bit!

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that I am sometimes hard to work with, but I am grateful for their continued support and love. I hope that I will be able to make my Heavenly Parents and my Savior proud of me in the years to come. I am trying hard to be better than my emotions and my mental illnesses but sometimes it's hard. So I'm grateful to have my Savior to depend on and turn to, and I am grateful to have my Heavenly Father's love and support. I am grateful to have Him standing beside me. 

Xoxo

Mattie

There is life after.

It's been quite a week! A lot of things have happened and it's been very stressful but I am just so grateful that it's finally over and that I get a chance to start over.

One thing I've tried to focus on this week is that everyone makes mistakes. Life is full of choices that lead to growth or recognition that you need to grow. And it's important to remember that Heavenly Father loves you no matter what. He is always willing to give us opportunities to fix our mistakes and try again. It's such a blessing because I don't always make the right decisions––I make a lot of mistakes. And sometimes those mistakes weight down on me. But my friend reminded me that He loves us and is willing to give us so many chances to fix our mistakes...and that was a blessing this week.

Sometimes I feel like this comic is me.

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father is disappointed in me, and in the mistakes that I make again, and again, and again. But really...He is just patiently waiting for me to remember who I am and what I'm actually working for. Sometimes I feel like He and I are just caught in this whirlpool––where I am constantly getting back into the ocean because I haven't learned my lesson about that whirlpool yet, but He STILL comes to rescue me. Because He loves me.

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One good thing that happened this week was I started writing a book! I'm very excited about it. I don't have too much written down yet haha but I've got a good little start. It's going to be about my spiritual journey, and I'm going to try to take some stuff from my blog and expound on it. I've got a lot of ideas for the book but I'm excited to see where it takes me.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go and see a performance of the Lamb of God by Rob Gardner. It was such an amazing experience! The music was beautiful, the message of the music was inspiring, and the spirit of the night was testimony-building and deeply touching. It was a great way to end last week, and start this week.

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You know, each week, I make plans. I make goals. My planner gets COVERED in ink and graphite as I set aside specific times for all of the homework and projects that I have going on in the week. I try to be SO careful and make sure I have a little leeway in case things happen. And sometimes things just happen. Sometimes your dress rehearsal just changes from the time that you thought it was to a new time so you have to miss a class. Again. Sometimes things come up and you have to rearrange your time. You have to rearrange your priorities.

The last couple of weeks...I've been a little more excited about life after graduation. Don't get me wrong––I still have NO idea exactly what I'm doing afterwards haha but I am not quite so stressed anymore. I'm still stressed haha but I've been looking at a lot of different opportunities and I'm feeling good about life. I feel like there is something out there for me. There is something I have to give to this world. I don't know what it is, and sometimes I don't really feel like I have anything different to give to the world than everybody else, but there's a reason I am who I am. There's a reason I was drawn to the Family Life major. There's a reason that––despite a lot of the uncertainties of the future––I am getting ready to GRADUATE. I made it! I never thought that I would make it to graduation day, guys. I never thought I would make it. It seemed never-ending and just too far away...but here we are...about a month out from walking...and three months from being done with school.

God really has blessed the broken road. It didn't lead me to where I thought it would lead me...but it led me here. It led me to graduating in a few months. It led me to searching for a full-time job where I will be doing something I love. It led me to going through the temple. It led me to decide to start writing a book. It led me to wanting to find myself. And I am grateful to be here. I am right where I need to be. I am right where He needs me to be. And luckily this is where I want to be (most of the time 😉 ).

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For the last few years, I have had a scripture written on a sticky note and attached to the front of my Book of Mormon. The scripture is 2nd Nephi 22:2, and it says, "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation." I LOVE this scripture because God is my strength. And He is my salvation. I would not be where I am today without Him, and I will not be able to become the best me that I can be without Him.

I am very excited to see where this next turn in the road will take me! Because there is life after...everything. There is life after mistakes...life after success...life after choices...life after sorrow...life after accidents...life after plans...life after graduation. With God at my side, I am sure that this road will take me to the next level of becoming the best Mattie.

Xoxo
Mattie

Allow yourself to be forgiven.

Well, today's the day of all the musics!! I was thinking a lot about it during the sacrament today.

I am so thankful for my Savior. It has been a crazy and stressful week, what with finalizing the Fireside tonight, writing papers, and preparing to sing my solo in sacrament meeting. I was able to get everything done but am now absolutely termed something is going to go horribly wrong. Also, I'm nervous, so that doesn't exactly help haha. It honestly is going to be so amazing but my anxiety kicked in this week/weekend and I've been struggling to kick it out. Luckily I have been praying for peace and calm assurance, so I'm feeling slightly better. I don't know where I'd be without my Savior's help and love. I need i each and every day. So thankful that He is always there!  💜

Well, first music of the day was me singing "Oh Holy Night" in sacrament meeting. And of course I was the first number right after the sacrament. So the whole time the sacrament was going on I was trying to be so, so calm, but I was honestly absolutely terrified (as you can see from my thoughts during the sacrament today). Afterwards, I was like, "I feel like I am simultaneously getting better and more confident at performing, but also more nervous each and every time." I don't know how that works haha but that's how it is.

In Gospel Principles, we talked about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and we talked about it in an amazing new light that I loved. Some of the things that we talked about today were things that I needed to hear. One thing that we talked about was that forgiveness is you repenting of having hard feelings for them, and forgiving the debt that you feel they owe you. It isn't possible for them to pay that debt. Only Jesus Christ can do that. Another thing we talked about was that part of turning to God and Christ is allowing ourselves to be forgiven. If He says we're forgiven, we're forgiven.

(One thing I was thinking about, too, is that we need to allow ourselves to feel. Feel love, feel patience, feel forgiven, etc.)

I loved church today! It was so amazing and I received several answers, which is always the best! :)

Now, I am so nervous and excited for the fireside tonight!! We had choir practice at 2:30p today and we TOTALLY NAILED the song that has been the most tricky, so I am so excited!! It is going to be so fun! And so full of music and messages of the birth of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for this opportunity, but it has been very stressful. I am so thankful for my friend (and choir pianist) Julia for all of her help. ALSO! I have always been very grateful towards those in charge of putting on concerts and firesides and things, and now I am 1000% more grateful and I totally understand all the things that they go through now. Like, I had an idea, but honestly, I had NO IDEA.

So grateful for this Christmas season! I'm grateful for #LightTheWorld and the opportunities for love and service that I have to share my love and to serve those around me. Hope you have a non-stressful and very pleasant week! I'll post how the Fireside goes later in a new post! Happy Sunday!

Xoxo
Mattie

Focus and remember.

I've got a lot I have to do in the next couple of days before Thanksgiving Break. My professors (at least two of them) decided to have everything due the day before break. And of course I work late both Monday and Tuesday since Tuesday is a Friday schedule, and I'm really worried I won't get my assignments done/turned, or my test taken. But I just need to be patient, take things one at a time and go slow. And, of course, ask my Heavenly Father for help. As long as I focus, and work hard, I think I will be fine. It's just a matter of finding my focus. Well, actually, I know my focus: it's my Savior. I just need to remember to focus on His help, and trust in Him, and do my part to work hard. He will bless me. I know He will. I just need to focus and remember.

Something that Sister DeVincent said in her talk in sacrament meeting today really stood out to me. She said, the Lord blesses those who want to improve.  I loved that! When you have a desire to improve, He'll help you.

Brother DeVincent said that as you keep the commandments, God will bless you as He says. It might take some time, but He will bless you.

In temple prep we talked about the blessings of the temple, and one thing that the Bushmans said was that going to the temple blesses us and brings us closer to the Spirit, and to our Heavenly Father. You'll never regret going to the temple.

In Relief Society, we talked about missionary work, and the main thing we talked about was loving them. Don't preach, don't tear down, or whatever. Just love them. Be yourself. Live the way you live, and answer questions they have. But don't force it on them. Just love them. When they're ready, they'll be able to move forward. We also talked about how we need to be living our lives in such a way that God can use us an instrument in His hands and to help move His work forward.

I am so happy for the things that I learned today! It was a relaxing day!

I'm so excited! The choir sang in sacrament meeting today and it was SO GOOD!! I am SO pleased with the way that the number turned out! We sang "For the Beauty of the Earth" and it was so pretty!! And now we get to focus on our Christmas music for the fireside in three weeks! Eee! Three weeks! That's so far away and yet, so close!! I'm super excited! The numbers are coming along nicely and I am just super ecstatic for the fireside! It's going to be really fun and spiritual! I can't wait!!

Hope you have a fun and safe week! Travel safely, for those traveling for Thanksgiving. Enjoy your time with family and friends. :)

Xoxo
Mattie

Sweet is the peace.

First things first, I'm now officially the ward choir director! I'm nervous but excited! It should be really fun. :) I love music and am excited to challenge myself in directing our choir to sing and really feel the message of the songs we will be performing, and share their testimonies and the Spirit with our ward. I've never legitimately led anyone in anything, so this will be a fun experience.

It's been a tough week for me, starting with the fact that I picked up two shifts last week and this week, and so I worked a lot more than normal (and I will work more the week after, as well) so I'm really tired; and I've got some personal things going on in my life that threw me off emotionally and made me question several things. But! My friends and family are the greatest and have been super supportive, patient, and loving, which has been such a blessing. I thank God every day for them, and I'm so lucky to have them in my life. ❤️❤️

Life is weird. One minute, life's going great–you're coasting in coolness–and the next thing you know, SPLAT!! You've hit a wall, and are no longer coasting in coolness. In fact, you're no longer coasting at all–you're just existing, meandering aimlessly, trying to find yourself again, or trying to find a meaning to all that is going on in your life. And you're just sort of stuck.

I've been there–several times–and I know how hard it is, and how it feels, and it's not always the greatest feeling. Sometimes, I've just felt kind of "Blah" about it, but sometimes it's made me feel really sad, or stressed, and I haven't really known how to fix it, or what to do about it. Sometimes I've just avoided doing anything about it for awhile, and just tried to move on with my life. Sometimes that doesn't work. I try to listen to music, specifically to help calm me, and bring the Spirit, and that always helps. What helps the most, though, is prayer–turning to my Heavenly Father. Sometimes the answer or help doesn't come right away, but what does come always is peace. Peace that things will work out, peace that I will be fine, and peace that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, and peace that I am where I am supposed to be. And oh how sweet is the peace!

I'm grateful for the peace that the Lord gives me in times of hardship, heartache, and sorrow, but also for the peace that He gives me when I'm doing the right things, and when I'm blessing other people's lives. There is no greater joy to me than sharing the love of my Heavenly Father and Savior with those around me, in whatever way, whether that be service, music, or just spending time with them and listening. I hope and pray every day that I am able to help someone feel the love of their Savior when they need it.

School is starting for many soon, and I just want to wish you all luck!! I know that everything will be all right, and that you will be blessed as you turn to your Father in Heaven for help and guidance.

Xoxo
Mattie

Don't worry about it.

So I was listening to/singing the hymn "Lead Kindly Light" today and I came to the realization that the song is about Jesus Christ, seeing as He is the Light of the World. I don't know why I never realized it before. But I thought that was an awesome thing to notice today. :)
I've been thinking lately about a lot of things, and one of those is that I'm not doing enough. Sure, I'm doing a lot, and it's fine, but I'm not doing enough. And I can do better. I can be better. I might be struggling or in a hard spot right not, but I can do more. I can pray for guidance and assistance, and I can focus better, and try harder. Honestly sometimes I don't want to try or do anything, but I can. I have, and I will again. Sometimes life is hard and goes unplanned, or against your plans and wishes, but if you trust in God, and have faith, everything will be all right, and you will be blessed. 

I got a new calling today! I am the assistant ward choir director and I am super grateful and excited! I'm also grateful for my Bishop, who was inspired to bless me with what I needed to hear when he was setting me apart.

Church was SO amazing today. :)

Here's some of my favorite things from Sunday School today:
-Even though things can be hard here (on Earth), coming here (Earth) can make things better for us in the end.
-Knowing where we come from gives us purpose.
-It's God's plan for us to act, and to do what He wants/needs us to do.
-The Lord still has a plan for us that works around Satan's! Heavenly Father works with you as things change.

Relief Society was so amazing today! I'm going to miss Candace but am so excited for her to move forward with life!
-Strive to go to the temple. Do what you need to be able to go, and even if you can't, you will be blessed.
-Holiness is in striving and the struggle to keep the commandments.
-Anything worth having is hard to get.
-Holiness is making the choices that will keep the Holy Ghost in our life.
-You can make things holy by the attitude you have as you go about doing them.
-Jesus Christ is the center of holiness, of happiness. He sees us as His daughters and He loves us.
-Through His atonement, I can be redeemed, born again, changed, and righteous.

We went to the temple today to just walk around and ponder, and it was so peaceful! All my anxieties about my struggles melted away. I had all these questions, about why I've been struggling, why am I struggling, how could I fix it, and I couldn't find an answer in the scriptures, so I just sat there, and listened and felt the breeze brush past me, and listened to the birds singing. And I had this thought. "Don't worry." I was like, "What? But I have so many things that I am struggling with and need help to work on." Again, "Don't worry about it." So then I got up, headed down the path down to the front and there was this point where I just stopped, and I turned to look at the temple. It was so pretty. And I closed my eyes for a second, and this thought passed through my mind, "Thine adversity shall be but a small moment." And then I smiled and opened my eyes and walked down to where we were meeting to close. That was such a comforting thought and I needed it.

So grateful for the messages today! I'm so grateful for the Spirit that I've felt and for the promptings that I received. I'm also grateful for the little tender mercy that happened as we were walking to the car back from the temple. This guy pulled up in his car, kind of blasting his music, but not really. Anyway, the song was "See You Again". Which was my graduation song two years ago today. And I don't know why but I needed that, and thinking about it now, that moment helped me remember who I am. Where I've come from. How far I've come. Where I've been. Where I am now. How I'm changing. How I'm wanting to change. How I'm trying. And that reminds me of my blessing today. How God sees me. He sees my efforts. He sees my struggles, and He is so proud of me. He is proud of who I am. How far I've come. How hard I try. How much I love and care. And how much He loves me.

Kiera played "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul" in the car on the way home. I love that song so much and am so grateful for its message! Especially today. It's so amazing–I have a Savior, who loves me. Cares for me. Died for me. And every day He is there for me. He is my Savior. My Redeemer. I wouldn't be who I am today without Him. What a blessing it is for me to have Him with me always. And what a blessing He is to me.  ❤️❤️

Xoxo
Mattie

Songs and service.

So, today was the day I performed in sacrament meeting! Unfortunately I have not been feeling well the past few days/weeks, and I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I was terrified!! I needed to be able to sing today before everyone goes away for the summer! So I drank a LOT of water, took some medicine, took a little nap, and prayed that I would be able to sing well–even if I got worse afterwards. And it went better than I thought it would! So grateful!! Of course, after that I did spiral downwards in health. I am now super tired and extremely sick. It's fine. I will live. I'm just going to go to bed super early tonight.

So, as I was sitting in sacrament meeting, thinking about the Savior, and my upcoming solo, and being nervous (the STAKE PRESIDENT was at sacrament meeting today), my roommate–sensing my nervousness–leaned over, patted my arm, and said, "You're gonna do great." A few moments later, one of my friends in the ward texted me and said the same thing. TENDER MERCIES!! So grateful for their words and love.

Also grateful for the messages in sacrament meeting:
-If you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, you'll be blessed.
-We need to look for and be those positive examples of obedience.

In gospel doctrine, we talked about spiritual gifts, and there were some wonderful things that were said about them, and about how we can gain them, and I wanted to share some:
-We should be acting in accordance with how God sees us, and how we wish to be.
-God doesn't want us to be down on ourselves.
-You have to put in the effort for the spiritual gifts, to be better and them and to better yourself.
-God needs us to bless other people.

In Relief Society we talked about Elder Bednar's talk from the October 2016 conference entitled "If Ye Had Known Me", and we talked about four things he said can help us come to know Christ.
1) Exercising Faith in Him
Nicole shared a scripture that I loved and wanted to share. It's 2 Chron. 14:11, and my favorite line was "It is nothing with Thee to help". I loved that. Whatever we're going through, as long as we have faith, and as long as we have God to help, it is nothing.
2) Following Him
We need to do the work, put in effort. We need to do our part. We can't just leave it all up to Him.
Sometimes we have to put aside our will to follow Him.
Heavenly Father keeps us where we are because He loves us and knows what is best for us, and what we need.
3) Serving Him
Okay, I learned something new today, and this was way cool. So, Elder Bednar said in his talk, "We grow to love those whom we serve." Mosiah 2:17 tells us that when we are in the service of others, we are in the service of God. Ergo, as we come to love those whom we serve, we come to love God. Well, serving others is my favorite way to serve God and love others, so I'm on the right track! :)
4) Believing Him
Believing Him invites perspective and peace into our lives.
This gospel is an eternal gospel. It will last through the eternities.
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will always respect the agency of others.
He knows you. He knows your strengths, weaknesses, desires, hopes, dreams, wishes. He knows what you need to feel loved.  He knows that when you're SUPER sick, you're basically a useless worm.
HE KNOWS. He knows it all. And He still loves you.

I am so grateful for my Savior, who stands by me. I am so grateful for my Father in Heaven, who sends me messages of love and comfort through friends. I'm so grateful for the Holy Ghost, who comforts and calms me when I'm nervous or scared. I'm grateful for the love of my Heavenly Parents, my Savior, and the Comforter. I am grateful for their hands in my life. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to sing in church today. It was so great to share the message of the song "Beautiful Savior" with my ward and my friends (Fun fact: that song is President Acerson's favorite song). I'm grateful for my family, friends, and roommates. It's been a crazy year, of which I will share a little bit next week, so stay tuned. ;)

I love you all! I wish you a blessed Sunday and a happy week!

Xoxo
Mattie

You are seen, loved, known, and remembered by a loving Heavenly Father.

First, a little thought from last night:

For some reason this quote by President Uchtdorf has been popping up in my newsfeed like every day this week. I'm grateful for this sweet and simple reminder that through everything I am going through, I am seen, loved, known, and remembered by my Heavenly Father. ❤️ 

Now, on to the thoughts of today! I'm so excited! I had TWO missionary homecomings today! So grateful for the examples of my friends and their willingness to go out and serve the Lord. I look up to them (both physically and spiritually ;) ) and am excited to see where they'll go in life. :)

While I was sitting and waiting for sacrament meeting to start this morning, I had this thought: People will come and go in our life. And their coming or going will change us, and oftentimes teach us something. It's important to remember that, most of the time, only we can decide for ourself what we will take from them, and from their presence in our life. Jesus Christ will always be there for us. He will be there to help us learn or recognize what we've learned from the people in our life. He is there to help us, guide us, comfort us, love us, and save us. He will never let us fall, fail, be, or feel alone. ❤️

One of the speakers today spoke on light–the light of Christ. One thing that she said that I loved was that we must displace the darkness that will appear in our life by introducing light. Sometimes we have to be that light, and sometimes we have to find the light, but that light will get rid of the darkness. Maybe not all at once, but it will get rid of it, and you can go to your Heavenly Father for help in getting rid of it.

One of my friends repeated something that I've heard before but it stuck out to me today. He said that the Lord expects progress–He expects us to try to be better. Our Heavenly Father knows we're not perfect, but we can at least try to be better today than we were yesterday. And He will help us with that. My friend also shared a quote that I loved and wanted to share: "Obedience brings blessings. Exact obedience brings miracles." I love that.

My other friend said something that I'd never thought of before. He said, "If it's a good thing, why be afraid?" He was talking about speaking in church, but it applies to a lot of things, and I just really wanted to share that. He also said that being humble is a sign of spiritual strength, and I thought that was just a really great thought. :)

There were two songs that played on FM100.3 while I was writing this that I really loved. The first one was called "Something Sacred" by Aaron Edson. I can't find a YouTube link to it (it can, however, be found on iTunes and you can either buy or listen to a snippet there, or on FM100.3's recently played page, there is a part where you can search for songs and play a clip from it there) but I really loved it. Its message is that though we may all have different beliefs and religions, we can still have respect for the things that others of different faiths believe are sacred. The second one was called, "It's Not About You" and you can find the song here. It's a great song that talks about how sometimes the things you go through aren't for you. They're to help you be who you need to be to help those around you.

I'm grateful for the power of music, and for the messages that were shared today. I know that things can be really hard sometimes, but I also know that Jesus Christ is there for you, and I know that your Heavenly Father won't leave you alone. He has given us the greatest gift: He has given us the gift of His Only Begotten Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He loves you, and He is always watching out for you. There is nothing that you can ever do that will take you far enough away from Him that there isn't hope you for you and He will give up on you. That is not the kind of God that He is. He is always there for you, you can always come back (though it may take some time), and He will always love you. ❤️

"Where words fail, music speaks."

I decided to do something a little different today. I decided to start my blog post this morning before church, and have it be an all day thing. I actually kind of like it, so I may end up doing it more often, but we'll see. :)

Before Church:
Yesterday I was able to attend my cousin's baptism. As we were singing while we were waiting for him and my uncle to reappear, I could really feel the Spirit. I almost started to cry, because Friday night I had prayed for some answers to be given at his baptism, and they were given in my favorite way: music! I felt so blessed to be surrounded by so many members of my family, and to be surrounded by so many members of the church. I'm so grateful that my cousin has taken the first big step to following and becoming more like our Savior.

One of the things that I like to do on Sundays is listen to a playlist that I created called "Church/Inspirational music". I have two of them, one on my iPod and one on my phone. They have a lot of music from my favorite LDS singers, as well as some Christian singers. It's a great way to bring the Spirit, and I often need many of the messages/testimonies given in the songs. In addition to listening to them on Sundays, sometimes when I'm having a bad day, when I'm having trouble sleeping, or something like that, I turn it on and listen to it. Usually that was exactly what I needed.

I can't really explain it, but music is my language. Especially hymns and music with uplifting messages, including ones about my role as a daughter of God, ways that I can spend my time better, how the Spirit speaks, etc.

Music is very powerful, for both the performer and the listener (I know this because I've been both). We use words to talk to each other, but music is a way for us to speak to our souls. Music brings a calm, peaceful spirit to me, and it helps me relax.

Performing music is a way for me to share my testimony in a manner that I am more comfortable with. Speaking in front of people isn't exactly my forte, and yes, I still get a little stage fright when I am performing, but once I start, that goes away, and it just becomes me doing something I love, and sharing that love with others. It is easier for me to share messages through music. I love hearing others tell me how the message helped them, or how beautiful the music was. That's my favorite part–knowing that I was able to change their life and help them.

During Church:

I was thinking about this during sacrament meeting. The church isn't perfect. Policies aren't perfect. But the Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect. And I know that it is true. I know that He has placed people in my life that I have needed, and I know that He has given us prophets to listen to. Their counsel and testimonies are great strengths to me. I know that they are special witnesses of Christ, and I know that they speak for Him.

After Church:
Today was fast and testimony meeting, and that ^ paragraph is where my thoughts went while I was listening to people bear their testimonies today.

In Sunday School, we talked about King Zeniff and his people, the story of Abinadi and King Noah and his people, and then we talked about King Limhi and his people, and we started to talk about the twenty-four plates of the Jaredites.

One of the things that we talked about near the end was to not discount your spiritual gifts–your gifts of the Spirit. Yours may not be super big, like the gift of tongues or something, but your spiritual gifts are important.

In Relief Society, we talked about visiting teaching. We watched a video where someone said that (and I'm paraphrasing here) revelation is when it becomes the Lord's work. She said when she gets a thought in her head and she feels it is right in her heart, she knows it is revelation. We talked a lot today about revelation and visiting teaching, but one of the main things I got out of the lesson was just to be there for them. And I feel like I won't have any trouble doing visiting teaching as my life goes on because I am already trying to be there for those around me. Another thing we talked about was that we are all different for a reason. We are also all at different stages in life. And that is okay. Figure out how visiting teaching works for you, and it will be all right. In the end, so long as the sisters you teach feel loved, it doesn't matter how you teach. Just be there for her, serve her, and let her know that she is loved by God, and by you. <3


P.S. I know that the title doesn't exactly cover the messages of the whole post, and I generally try to do that, but it's harder than you think to summarize a whole post that includes several different messages! :)

Have courage and be kind.

Well today was a great day! I performed "Oh Holy Night" in sacrament meeting and I was infinitely less nervous to perform today (that may be partly because I wasn't the only one performing today, but it may also be partly because it is a Christmas song and I love Christmas music. Who knows, though) and it was so good! I did so well, and I didn't mess up on some parts that I had trouble with when I was practicing. So that was great! Hats off to my accompanist because she's awesome. :) Sacrament meeting was just so good today. We had seven people/groups perform Christmas numbers, and it was so beautiful and spiritually uplifting. So grateful for my ward and all of the beautifully talented people in it. :)


In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about how God shows His love for us, and how we can show our love for Him. 

God shows His love for us in many ways, but one of the most important ways is that He sent His Son to save us. He loved (and loves us) so much that He sent His Son to die for us so that we could return to Him again. 
We show our love for God by keeping His commandments, and by being His hands and loving and serving those around us. 

In Relief Society, we talked about feeding Jesus' sheep. We talked about loving the people, and serving them. We talked about (for non/less active members) not pushing the gospel onto them. Just be there for them–be their friend, love them, serve them. Show them that you genuinely care, and that you see them. Show them that they mean something to you, and that they're not just a number. Just let them know that someone cares for them, and someone wants the best for them. I love my relief society. The girls in my hall are the BEST!!!! I love them all so much and they have all made me a better person, and they've helped strengthen my testimony and I'm so grateful for them!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

People are imperfect. People make mistakes. But that doesn't mean that God doesn't love them any less. That also doesn't mean that they are worth less. We are all precious in His sight. He wants us all to feel (and be) loved and safe. And since He Himself cannot be here to do so, He sends people to us. He sends us to others. We can be the answer to someone's prayers or needs. "Have courage and be kind." I literally just decided that that is going to be my quote this week: Have courage and be kind. But that quote is also kind of my life motto. I don't care who you are, or what you've done (yes, I accidentally quoted the Backstreet Boys, but I don't care. And it was an accident, I promise) but I will be kind to you. Even if you are not kind to me. I will always be kind to you. Because that is what Jesus would do, and I am trying to be like Jesus. I'm not perfect–far from it–but with and through Christ, I can become perfected. Life can be tough, but I love to make other people happy and I've found that making other people happy makes me happy. And by making other people happy, I make God happy. So it comes full circle because knowing God makes me happy. :)

Today I'm blessed and grateful.

Today I'm grateful for my hallmates. We seriously have the best hall—I'm not kidding. We always have the best time when we get together, and everyone is always smiling, and everyone is so kind to each other. I'm so grateful to be a part of this hall. I love these girls so much and I'm so grateful that I have been able to get to know them.

Today was a special day. I performed in sacrament meeting today, and I was accompanied by two of the girls from my hall (who are two super talented and absolutely gorgeous girls), and I feel so blessed! I was SUPER nervous about singing—all week I was super excited but today, when I saw my name in the program, I swear my heart was going to pound through my chest—and I prayed a LOT this morning that I would be able to sing well and that I would calm down. I feel like I started off kind of weak at first but as we kept going, I grew more confident and I was able to sing strongly, and I felt like I was being supported by angels, and by the end of the song, I felt like I could conquer the world. It was such a spiritual experience and I'm grateful that I got to experience it with my friends. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I had to bear my testimony of the Savior through the song "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul". It's one of my favorites and I'm so grateful for Him and all that He has done and does for me.

Quotes of the week, trials, forgiveness.

HEY!! So, I have been trying to have a quote of the week every week on my white board. The first week's quote was, "Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith." ~Pres. Thomas S. Monson. The second week it was, "Music makes me really happy." Last week's quote was, "Find your dream and follow your heart." This week's quote is "You are beautiful, capable, and strong. <3" I am loving this quote thing! The first week I found a quote, but all the other weeks I have come up with the quotes! It's a great reminder during the week to be happy/positive. Plus, it's been fun to make a quote look cutesy on my white board. :)

School is going as well as school goes, I guess. ;) But I'm not dying because of a homework overload [yet ;)]. 

(The following are out of order, but that's okay.)

Today in Relief Society we got our visiting teaching assignments. I am excited to get to know these girls better! Also!! I was set apart today. I am a Compassionate Service Leader. :) I'm really excited to be serving the girls in my hall!! 

Today we talked a lot about following the prophets in sacrament meeting, and how President Monson is the mouthpiece of the Lord, and we will be blessed if we listen to him. 

In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about overcoming tribulation, as well as forgiveness and forgiving others. Overcoming tribulation: Through our suffering, we become stronger and closer to God as we rely on Christ. Someone said something very poignant as we talked about forgiving others. She said, "Do what's best for the other." And I love that. It's better for them if you forgive them; and, in the end, forgiving them will bring you peace. Sophia said that "There is no peace in reflecting on old wounds." This all applies to forgiving others, yes, but we also shouldn't forget to forgive ourselves! I don't know about you, but I always have the hardest time forgiving myself. But it's true: there is no peace in reflecting on old wounds. If you can't let go and forgive yourself, it just makes it harder for you to live in the present, and for you to move on with your life. 

You have to learn to let go with the help of Jesus Christ. That's the only way to bring you the peace you need. He will help you heal, and He will help you be able to forgive whom you need to forgive. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Joseph Smith and the First Vision.

Okay, so I have the devotional in seminary on Monday, and I am going to be performing the musical number that I was going to perform for the seminary conference, but we ran out of time. So, I've been practicing, and I decided to record it the other day, and I did! Even though I'm still a little under the weather, I think it turned out nice. So it's the hymn "Joseph Smith's First Prayer" (Hymn No. 26) to the tune of the song/hymn "Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing" and I had to do just a little bit of arranging for the end of the song because the soundtrack I picked (done by Chris Rice) had a different ending, so I had to arrange the last two verses to combine them. I really had a wonderful time with this project, and I'm so excited to be performing it on Monday! I really am so grateful for Joseph Smith, who had the courage to ask God a question, and who had the courage to stand up for what he believed and knew was right. Please enjoy the song and video here. Here are the words and lyrics that I arranged:

Joseph Smith's First Prayer:

1. Oh, how lovely was the morning!

Radiant beamed the sun above.

Bees were humming, sweet birds singing,

Music ringing thru the grove,

When within the shady woodland

Joseph sought the God of love,

When within the shady woodland

Joseph sought the God of love.

2. Humbly kneeling, sweet appealing–

T'was the boy's first uttered prayer–

When the pow'rs of sin assailing

Filled his soul with deep despair;

But undaunted, still he trusted

In his Heav'nly Father's care;

But undaunted, still he trusted

In his Heav'nly Father's care.

3. Suddenly a light descended,

Brighter far than noonday sun,

"Joseph, this is my Beloved;

Hear him!" Oh, how sweet the word!

Oh, what rapture filled his bosom,

For he saw the living God;

(interlude)

Oh, what rapture filled his bosom,

For he saw the living God.

(interlude)

Oh, how lovely was the morning! For he saw the living God.

I just love this hymn and this arrangement because it's so pretty. Joseph had a question about which church he should join, and he went to God for an answer. He was only fourteen years old, but he really, really wanted to know which church he should join, so he went into a grove to pray and "ask of God" (King James Bible, James 1:5). He then received what we as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints call The First Vision. I know that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I know that Joseph was the first Latter-day prophet. I know that Thomas S. Monson is our prophet today and that he speaks to us from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that this church is true. I know that Jesus Christ lives, and I know that He loves us. I know that He sends us tender mercies, and I know that preparing this song to sing for my seminary class has really helped me gain a better testimony of Joseph Smith. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Music is a prayer.

"For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me" ~D&C 25:12.

This is one of my favorite scriptures because I love music. I am glad when I get to share my musical talents with others because if I can feel the Spirit when I perform them, how much more can those I share the music with feel the Spirit? Music is just how I speak, and I'm glad that it is a prayer to my Heavenly Father.

Thanksgiving Day Gratitude.

The Number Twenty-Eight: I am so, so, so, so, so, sooo thankful for everything. I am so thankful for my family. My cousins are so cute! I am so thankful for my friends. I love learning from them and hanging out with them. I am so thankful for food. I love mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and pie. I am so thankful for music; I love to express myself using good music. I am so thankful for my talents. I love to share them with others. I am so thankful for good tv shows. I love to watch them; they help me get away from reality a bit. I am so thankful for good movies. I love to watch cute sweet ones. I am so thankful for good books. I love to read fantasy and romance. I am so thankful for teachers and leaders who listen and teach very well. I learn a lot from them. But most of all, I am so, so thankful for this gospel. I am so thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for me and for all of us. I am so thankful for His example in His reign on this earth. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and you, and sent His Only Begotten Son to die for us. I am so thankful for the Holy Ghost who helps me every day. I am so thankful for all the prophets, apostles, and missionaries. I am so thankful for this beautiful world that has been designed for us. So, I am so grateful for all that has been given to me (and to everyone on this earth). 

Lights. Family. TV show directors. People. Music.

Number 23: I am grateful for lights. They make things less scary and they make the home brighter. So I'm grateful for the light everywhere. 

24th: I am grateful for family. They are funny and cute and they usually have great advice. So I'm grateful for relatives to help guide and protect me. 

Twenty-fifth: I am grateful for TV show directors. They are able to plan things out years ahead and make it all connect with the past and have it make sense. So I'm grateful for genius writers and directors. 

Sixth and Twenty: I am grateful for people. Friends and family, teachers and leaders, who are all great listeners and advice-givers and teachers. So I'm grateful for people who help me in any way they can. 

Twenty and seven: I am grateful for music. Anytime I feel sad or mad or even just lazy, MUSIC is the answer and MUSIC is always there. So I'm grateful for music to be my constant companion. 

Talents.

Número siete: I am grateful for my musical talents. I am grateful that I have the courage to share my vocal and instrumental talents with others, especially when it lifts their spirits, and makes their testimonies grow. I love being their inspiration! I love being able to sing, and play the violin, and make up songs (using either/both) on the spot. I love singing and playing hymns and Primary songs and using them to share my testimony and praise my Lord and Saviour. So I am thankful for the musical talents I was given. 

Gratitude.

Okay, so I'm six days late for starting the gratitude thing. But I figured better late than never, right? So I'll just start with six things/people I'm grateful for and why. Here we go:

Number one: I'm grateful for the gospel. Without it, I don't know where I'd be, or where I'd be going, and why I am here. So I am grateful for the knowledge and light that it brings to my life.

Little b: I'm grateful for music. It keeps me strong, and with it I can express myself in any way that I choose. So I am grateful for the talents in music that I have and the opportunities I have to share my talents/testimony with others.

Third: I'm grateful for my family. I really am. I learn a lot from them, like what not to do. So I am grateful that they aren't all crazy psychopaths. ;)

iv: I'm grateful for my friends. They are all such wonderful examples to me and they inspire me. I learn a lot from them, too, but usually for good. So I am grateful that I have friends who share the same beliefs as me. 

Big E: I'm grateful for my teachers. They are all amazing examples and I look up to them. So I am grateful for teachers who care. 

There you go. Six things I am thankful for. I'll be back tomorrow (hopefully) with anther one. But in the meantime, remember this: God made you special, and He loves you very much. Goodbye!

(Yes, that line was from VeggieTales. No, I am not ashamed.) 

Music can uplift you.

There are so many uplifting and spiritual songs that I love to listen to on Sunday, or even when I'm feeling a little sad or when I need a pick-me-up. I usually listen to FM 100.3, and they always play Soft Sunday Sounds. They play many spiritual songs that I have never heard before even though I listen every week, and they play many songs that they play every week or every other week. Some spiritual/gospel artists that are popular that I love are Jenny Philips, Hilary Weeks, Cherie Call, Tyler Castleton, Amy Grant, Mindy Gledhill, David Archuleta, Fernando Ortega, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and many, many others that escape my mind at the moment. Some songs that play that I love are I Will Rise, Be Still My Soul, Better Than a Hallelujah, When I Sing, I Know Jesus Loves Me, and many, many more. But they all make me feel so, so good, and they really bring a spirit to my room that I just LOVE. It comes every Sunday when I listen to it, and I need it every week, I really do. I love to feel this spirit that it brings. It's a spirit of peace, and reverence, and knowledge. These songs bring more knowledge to my mind; they bring things to my mind that I sometimes have never thought before. I love the messages the songs bring, and I love that this station also plays/shares little clips from some General Conference talks. This station is my absolute favorite, and I love the peace it brings to me on Sundays.