He knows what you need to grow.

This is another little thought that I had last night (sometimes my late night thoughts are really profound):

"I'm dreaming and dreaming. Nothing's come true yet. I still have a ways to go, and a ways to dream. I've come so far, and yet it's not been far at all. It feels like one step forward is sometimes two steps backwards. Why is this so hard? How will this ever work out? I don't even know what I want anymore.
And then it hit me: I.
Yes, yes, I can still have dreams.
But Heavenly Father has a plan for me. A plan that includes dreaming, waiting, and not knowing.
Someday I'll know. And most days I wish that "someday" was today or tomorrow. But until my "someday", I just have to trust Him, and follow Him.
Occasionally there are the days that I forget–I forget my dreams, I forget my wants–and I just am.
Those days, while they may appear dreadfully dull on the outside (or even sometimes to me), are actually quite peaceful.
Just being is oftentimes a blessing in disguise."

Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want to happen that we forget that our Father in Heaven has a plan for us, and we forget to live.
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During the sacrament today, I was thinking about the sacrament hymn, "As Now We Take The Sacrament", and one line in particular stood out to me: "And silently we pray, For courage to accept thy will, To listen and obey". We pray for courage–courage to accept the Lord's will, and courage to listen and obey. We do not always know what's going to happen in our lives, or what the Lord is going to ask of us. But we need to pray for courage to accept His will. Sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes we want one thing, but the Lord has planned something else for us. Sometimes we may not understand why things happen, but we just need to trust Him. He knows what He's doing and He won't let us down. So we just need to have courage and trust Him.

One of my friends bore their testimony today and she said that (it's a little bit paraphrased), "Sometimes the way the Savior helps us is by letting us struggle. Struggle means there's growth. There's no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone."

I love that. Leaving your comfort zone is hard (I know), but it means you're growing and changing. Trust your Heavenly Father–He knows what you need to grow.

Sometimes we have to let go.

We all have dreams and aspirations. We all want things in our life.

I've learned, though, that sometimes we have to let things go. Sometimes for a little while, sometimes for forever.

I'm not saying that you can't still want it; you can. But sometimes, if it's a dream that's a little ways off, and you let it go–if only for a brief time–you can live in the moment better.

If we're always focused on the future, we forget to live in the moment.

By putting aside some of your dreams, you're able to focus on your life right now. And that is sometimes more important than your dreams. If you're always waiting for the future, and not taking proper care of yourself, there won't really be any future for you, will there?

Sometimes we just have to let go.

Sometimes when we let go, we'll realize that that's not really what we wanted, and we'll have saved ourselves some time and money.

And sometimes, if it's important enough, we'll eventually find a way to achieve it.

Everything will work out in the end. You just have to trust your Heavenly Father.

He has a better plan for you than you could ever imagine.

And sometimes that plan includes letting go.

Just a little poem. :)

I know it's the middle of the week but I was doing some deep thinking a couple days ago and I wrote this poem and I thought I'd share it. :)

In a big, dark room in the back of my mind, there's a single spotlight.
It's nothing big, just a little dream.
But it's heavy–a weight on my shoulders.
It shouldn't be this heavy–it's just a little dream–a wish.
But it's heavy. 
"What if" and "Oh, but it can't happen" thoughts drown out all the "It could happen"s of this dream. 
I'm drowning in a sea of thoughts, all made by me.
I've done all I can do to stop drowning but it's not enough. It's never enough.
So I kneel in prayer, and ask for strength and peace of mind.
And suddenly I'm lifted.
Finally I can breathe.
My thoughts aren't so heavy.
I look beside me to see my Savior, lifting with me.
What a comfort that is, to know He's always beside me.
Whatever happens–whether or not this dream will be–I know my Savior will be there. He'll help lift my burdens and fix all the broken pieces of me.
Someday this dream will be but a memory–a small piece of my life–and someday I'll be, and do, and have many things, bigger and better than I've ever dreamed to be, do, and have in my life.
But for now?
I'll dream.
I'll breathe.
I'll live.
I'll pray.
And I'll wait for the days when I get to see what my life is made of.
~"He Lifts Heavy Dreams" by Mattie Radke

Quotes of the week, trials, forgiveness.

HEY!! So, I have been trying to have a quote of the week every week on my white board. The first week's quote was, "Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith." ~Pres. Thomas S. Monson. The second week it was, "Music makes me really happy." Last week's quote was, "Find your dream and follow your heart." This week's quote is "You are beautiful, capable, and strong. <3" I am loving this quote thing! The first week I found a quote, but all the other weeks I have come up with the quotes! It's a great reminder during the week to be happy/positive. Plus, it's been fun to make a quote look cutesy on my white board. :)

School is going as well as school goes, I guess. ;) But I'm not dying because of a homework overload [yet ;)]. 

(The following are out of order, but that's okay.)

Today in Relief Society we got our visiting teaching assignments. I am excited to get to know these girls better! Also!! I was set apart today. I am a Compassionate Service Leader. :) I'm really excited to be serving the girls in my hall!! 

Today we talked a lot about following the prophets in sacrament meeting, and how President Monson is the mouthpiece of the Lord, and we will be blessed if we listen to him. 

In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about overcoming tribulation, as well as forgiveness and forgiving others. Overcoming tribulation: Through our suffering, we become stronger and closer to God as we rely on Christ. Someone said something very poignant as we talked about forgiving others. She said, "Do what's best for the other." And I love that. It's better for them if you forgive them; and, in the end, forgiving them will bring you peace. Sophia said that "There is no peace in reflecting on old wounds." This all applies to forgiving others, yes, but we also shouldn't forget to forgive ourselves! I don't know about you, but I always have the hardest time forgiving myself. But it's true: there is no peace in reflecting on old wounds. If you can't let go and forgive yourself, it just makes it harder for you to live in the present, and for you to move on with your life. 

You have to learn to let go with the help of Jesus Christ. That's the only way to bring you the peace you need. He will help you heal, and He will help you be able to forgive whom you need to forgive. <3

Xoxo
Mattie