It's up to us to turn towards Him.

I was reading in Alma earlier this week and had the thought that the Lamanites and Nephites had many cycles of righteousness and wickedness, and Heavenly Father gave them many second chances. I, too, have had many cycles of righteousness and 'wickedness', and Heavenly Father has given me so many second chances. I am so thankful for that! This week has been a difficult week in several ways but I've made it and am totally pleased with my choices. Hopefully this next week will be a lot easier. I've really been blessed these past couple weeks. I don't think we realize just how much a part of our lives our Savior and Heavenly Father are. I'm so thankful for their part in my life. I'm getting ready to go to Bear Lake this summer for work and I've been super stressed about it, but the last 24-ish hours I have been on top of the ball! I have to finish making my shopping list and then go shopping tomorrow, and then I have to finish packing. I'm excited for all the fun adventures that are going to happen this summer, but I'm nervous I'm going to forget something. But I'm trying to be positive, and in control of my anxiety and depression. Some days it's hard, and I feel lost, lonely, and unloved, but I know I'm not alone, I know I'm loved, and I know that my Savior is with me, so I know I'm really not lost. He knows where I am, and I just don't know where I am yet.

There's a song by Hilary Weeks that I love. It's called "Where I Am" and it's talking about how when Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are with us, we know where we are. I'm not always sure of where I am...lately I've been feeling really lost...but I know that as long as I am trying to do the right things, and as long as I am trying to be closer to my Savior...I don't need to worry. Because if I am not going in the right direction, He'll let me know. I can count on Him to guide me in the right direction.

One of the speakers in sacrament meeting said that, "Charity is something you acquire, and make a part of you... True charity is love in action. You are the gift. Fill the hunger for human connection... More isn't always better. Sometimes it's just more." I really loved this! Charity is a way for us to connect with other people! Deep down, everyone craves connection. Charity is a way for us to help create this connection between those who need and want it...and those who can show them love. The last thing that she said was that more isn't always better. I loved that. Sometimes, we go out of our way and over the top to show someone we love them, or to help someone in need...but sometimes all they need is someone to listen. Sometimes all they need is someone to watch their kids. Sometimes all they need is someone to tell them they are loved. Something simple, sweet, short.

I loved what the other speaker in sacrament meeting talked about. He talked about how Jesus grew. He brought up this scripture, Luke 2:52, which reads: "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." One thing that I noticed while he was talking about this scripture was really interesting:

• Wisdom = Mentally
• Stature = Physically
• Favour with God = Spiritually
• Favour with man = Socially

It states specifically in the scriptures that Jesus grew and increased in all of the areas that we all struggle with! At one time or another, we have all struggled (or will struggle with) at least one of these, if not all of them. And Jesus knows how we feel!! Not just because He felt our personal struggles when He atoned for us, but because He, too, experienced it for Himself! That is so amazing!! 

He also brought up the talk by Elder Massimo De Feo of the Seventy entitled "Pure Love: The True Sign of Every True Disciple of Jesus Christ", from the last General Conference. He talked about how Elder De Feo's mother was not a member of the church, and she was sick, and asked her son to teach her how to pray. Elder De Feo goes on to say, "How can someone who is in such great pain pray for someone else. She is the one in need." The answer? Pure love. His mother loved him so much that she forgot about herself. In her most critical hour, she loved him more than she loved herself. If this sounds familiar, you're correct. Someone else we know and love prayed for others while He was in great pain. Our Savior. He loved us so much that He was willing to go to great lengths to make sure that we could return to our Heavenly Father if we wanted to. Despite His pain and second thoughts, He went through it: He drank the bitter cup for us, and He died for us. All because He loved us.

Something some said today really stood out to me. He said, "Even great faith has a shelf life." I loved that. We have to make a daily effort to grow and maintain our faith. We are saplings in the gospel. We have to tend to our testimonies, our faith, our charity, our patience...all the attributes of Christ that we are trying to emulate and gain, we need to continuously tend to them. They will die if we don't nourish them.

Heavenly Father trusts us to do and be more. He really does. He's given us the tools and knowledge that we need to grow. He'll sometimes give us nudges...but ultimately, it's up to us. We have to be the ones to make the move. He will not force us to do anything we don't want to, but His arms are open, and He's knocking at our door. We just have to run to Him and let Him in.

I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who gives me so many second chances. I am so thankful for a Savior who is always with me. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have to start over again. I don't think I deserve them, but I am grateful for them. I am so grateful that my Savior loves me and thinks that I am worth saving and redeeming. I am so thankful for supportive and loving friends and family. I don't think I could do this without them.

I am blessed to have such a loving and supportive Father in Heaven, and His Son, my Savior and Redeemer.

Well, this week is my last week at home! I'm heading up to Bear Lake on Friday for my job at a scouting camp! I'm excited! I can't wait! I'm hoping to still keep posting on my blog every week this summer, but they either will not be super long, or I will miss a couple of weeks. I hope not, but just in case, this is me letting you know.

I hope everyone has a great last week before summer officially starts! I hope everyone has a sweet Memorial Day. I'm so thankful for all those who have died while serving our country. I am grateful for their service, and I hope that I can always remember that people have died to protect the ground that I walk every day.

Turn to Him.

Why?
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
Why do we procrastinate important things in our lives?
Why do we struggle with change?
Why do we struggle with decisions?
Why do we care so much about what others think?
Or say?
Or do?
Why do we stress and worry about things we literally can't control?
Why do we worry about the future instead of focusing on the here and now?

I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced these feelings. I'm sure you probably have, to some degree. I've been thinking about it a lot this week. And I realized some of the answers a little bit. Because we're concerned with the world. Or we're concerned with the future (which, in and of itself, is not a bad thing, but sometimes we take it too far). Or we think we're not good enough, we're not as good as so and so. Or sometimes we just care about other people, and their opinions are important to us, and so we care about their opinions of us. As a society, we care a lot about appearances. We care a lot about making the right decisions for our future now. Or we have a lot of things due (or to do) on the same day and we can't figure out which ones to focus on and we struggle with focusing on them and getting them done. And that can be stressful. Life is stressful. Friendships, relationships, dating, school–it's all stressful. But I was thinking about something in sacrament meeting today that kind of helped me relax and calm down a little.

It's been a crazy busy week, but somehow I made it through. Grateful for my Savior, who has blessed me, I know. Grateful for the chances I've had to study my scriptures almost every day this week. Grateful for all of the homework I've been able to finish. I was really stressed this week and wanted to just not do anything because I had so much to do but I needed to do my homework. I also didn't think I had time to study my scriptures because I've had papers to write, and assignments to read. But I paused, and took the time to study, and ponder, and pray, and I am so glad I did. That is the reason I was able to get through this week. Because I took the time to speak to, and listen for my Heavenly Father. And because I did that, He blessed me. I've struggled trying to focus this week because I've had so many papers to work on, but the last couple of days I've been able to focus more, and get a little bit more done. It's hard to focus on one paper when you have multiple papers all due on the same day, but, a President Monson has said, and that I have found to be true this week, "Life is hard by the yard. By the inch, it's a cinch!" I know that as we slow down, and take things one project or paper at a time, we will be able to focus, and progress, and get things done in a timely manner. I also know that as we take time to study our scriptures, we will find time to do all the things we have to do.

Taking time for the spiritual things might seem like a waste of time sometimes, but once you do, you will realize that you will have the ability, focus, and time to do all of the things you want to and need to do. You will be blessed with strength and will be able to concentrate on your tasks at hand.

Sister Maughan said some awesome things in her talk in sacrament meeting today! I just wanted to share a couple of things that we can do to come to Christ:
-We need to be all in.
-We need to stand up on the inside.
-Pray daily. Develop a relationship with your Father in Heaven and His Son.
-Learn to love the scriptures and study them.
-Heavenly Father is watching over us. Sometimes we need to experience things for ourselves. We are more capable than we know.

Bishop had some amazing things to say, too! He talked about prayers and answers, and also about trials and how to deal with them. He said that we increase our faith by fasting for a purpose and having meaningful prayers. He also said that faith is an important ingredient in prayer. Sometimes we just need to move forward in life though. Every individual is responsible for their own happiness, he said. Cultivate a spirit of happiness, and don't belittle or blame yourself. Believe in yourself, and your capacity to do things. Sometimes we just don't receive answers to prayers, but we need to keep moving forward.

Megan said something great in her lesson today. She said something to the effect of, "God is always there for us. Just because we can't see him sometimes doesn't mean He's not there. It's up to us to find Him in our lives. Every time we take the time to look for Him, we'll find Him."

I've been trying to take some time for me lately. I have kind of been feeling...not lost, exactly...but like I'm wandering, floating in the vast space of 'being' (which, I mean, I guess is true, since we're all floating in space, but that's not the way that I meant it). I feel like I'm struggling to fit in. And I mean, I have friends, and it's great fun, but I just feel a little bit out of place, and like I'm just not socializing enough. Anyway, I've decided that I need to find myself (Again. I keep forgetting, and losing myself, apparently. Or I just need to be a different me every school year. Either that, or I just have not really found myself). And I need to focus. I have been struggling with focusing lately. I don't know why that is, but I do know that it has been better when I've been studying my scriptures, and praying, and getting sleep. When all of my papers were just kind of dropped on me like a bomb, it was bad. I was worrying, and worrying, and I was jumping from paper to paper because I couldn't focus on any of them, and I couldn't figure out what I wanted to talk about, or how I wanted to talk about it (for being someone who loves writing and talking, sometimes I sure don't know what to say). But about midway through the week, something happened, and I just felt a whole lot better. I don't know what it was, but after Wednesday/Thursday morning, I've been able to focus just a little better. I'm grateful for the peace that I've had this weekend. It's been a little stressful, too, but mostly I've been feeling a lot better about my papers, and my schoolwork. Life is so hard, and can be so difficult and stressful, but I know that when we turn to God, and read His words, and listen to His Spirit, we're blessed.

Xoxo
Mattie

Quotes of the week, trials, forgiveness.

HEY!! So, I have been trying to have a quote of the week every week on my white board. The first week's quote was, "Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith." ~Pres. Thomas S. Monson. The second week it was, "Music makes me really happy." Last week's quote was, "Find your dream and follow your heart." This week's quote is "You are beautiful, capable, and strong. <3" I am loving this quote thing! The first week I found a quote, but all the other weeks I have come up with the quotes! It's a great reminder during the week to be happy/positive. Plus, it's been fun to make a quote look cutesy on my white board. :)

School is going as well as school goes, I guess. ;) But I'm not dying because of a homework overload [yet ;)]. 

(The following are out of order, but that's okay.)

Today in Relief Society we got our visiting teaching assignments. I am excited to get to know these girls better! Also!! I was set apart today. I am a Compassionate Service Leader. :) I'm really excited to be serving the girls in my hall!! 

Today we talked a lot about following the prophets in sacrament meeting, and how President Monson is the mouthpiece of the Lord, and we will be blessed if we listen to him. 

In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about overcoming tribulation, as well as forgiveness and forgiving others. Overcoming tribulation: Through our suffering, we become stronger and closer to God as we rely on Christ. Someone said something very poignant as we talked about forgiving others. She said, "Do what's best for the other." And I love that. It's better for them if you forgive them; and, in the end, forgiving them will bring you peace. Sophia said that "There is no peace in reflecting on old wounds." This all applies to forgiving others, yes, but we also shouldn't forget to forgive ourselves! I don't know about you, but I always have the hardest time forgiving myself. But it's true: there is no peace in reflecting on old wounds. If you can't let go and forgive yourself, it just makes it harder for you to live in the present, and for you to move on with your life. 

You have to learn to let go with the help of Jesus Christ. That's the only way to bring you the peace you need. He will help you heal, and He will help you be able to forgive whom you need to forgive. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Keeping on the path; and Defending the Family Proclamation.

Yes, I did post yesterday. But it's Sunday–I can't forget my weekly Sunday posts. :)

Today, I learned a lot about a lot of different things in Sacrament meeting:

• It doesn't matter where you are, it matters where you are going.
• Go back to the basics–we need to have a strong foundation, which means we need to keep working on it.
• Look towards the end/your goal. Set your sights towards your goal, for then you can focus on how to get there.
• When we feel alone, we are not, for Christ is always with us.
• Look to God. As we focus on the Savior, He won't allow us to sink.

In Relief Society, we talked about Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson's talk entitled, "Defenders of the Family Proclamation". One thing I highlighted was "If it is the Lord's plan, it should also be our plan!"

She talked about three principles that "are especially in need of steadfast defenders":

1) Marriage between a man and a woman. In today's world, the very definition of family is being torn apart! Marriage is between a man and a woman, for that is the way that God intended and created us to be. No laws, public criticism, or anything will change what the Lord has declared to be right.

2) The divine roles of mothers and fathers. Sister Jones had someone read a quote that I thought was truly inspired: "There is no one way to be a good mother." I love that. You do what is best for your family. It is different for everyone. Being a mother or a father is a divine role, and it is such an important one. You are the ones who teach your children of our Heavenly Father's plan. It is important for them to be reared in love and righteousness.

One cannot remember mother and forget God.
~President Thomas S. Monson

3) The last principle is the sanctity of the home. "We should 'make our homes' places of order, refuge, holiness, and safety." She said, "Let us defend the home as a place which is second only to the temple in holiness." Our homes should be a place of love and righteousness. As the definition of family is being torn apart, so are homes. It is important for children to have a real home to go to–one that is full of love, righteousness, and happy family members.

Today was my last Sunday in the ward. What a great way to end this chapter in my life!! I'm super nervous for school but I'm really excited to be moving on!! So glad that I always have my Savior to turn to. <3

You need to be.

"Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility" (President Thomas S. Monson). I LOVE this! Be courageous in times of trouble; be strong and stand firmly in holy places. Be cheerful in disappointing times; be an example of the believers. Be humble when triumphant. Remember, you are loved even if you fail.