His love for me is greater than I can imagine.

God has an incredibly special plan for me.

I was just browsing Facebook, chilling, and looking at all of the things that my friends are doing in their lives...and I had that thought. "God has an incredibly special plan for me." For me. His plan for me is tailor-made for me. I don't entirely know what He has planned for me 🤣 but I am so excited to find out in time. Sometimes I wish I could find out faster...but that's not how it works.

This week has been incredibly long...and I had a lot that happened...but I am grateful that I have my Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, to lean on.

One thing that has been incredibly difficult for me lately is that I have been struggling to find a balance. My schedule is incredibly busy and full right now, and I am struggling to find a balance between sleep, homework, school, work, and my rest and relaxation time. I am very excited that I have only ONE MONTH left of school!!! But I am incredibly disappointed that it is going by so slow. Please pray that I will have the patience to get through it! 🤣

I am very grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father, and for His kindness, and for His mercy. He loves me more than I can comprehend. I am grateful for the people that He sends into my life, and for the experiences that help me learn and grow. Even if I don't understand at the moment, and even if I don't ever understand in this life, I know that everything will come together in the end. It's sometimes hard to look at my life and realize that it's not where I thought I would be right now...but I am very grateful for where I am right now. I know that I've got a lot of growth to do, and I'm grateful that I have my Heavenly Father to help me.

I know that God has great blessings and plans for me. I know it. I know it's hard to see sometimes, and sometimes it's difficult to even believe that God's plan for me is better than the plans that I have for myself, but I know that He and I discussed my life here on Earth, and I agreed to it. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I thought that I would be able to handle it with His help. And He knows that I can handle it with His help. And, as I look back on my life...I know that I can handle it.

I hope ya'll have had a great weekend and that you have a wonderful week!! God loves you very much and I am so grateful for you!! I am grateful for your insights, your influence, your love, and your strength and determination to do what's right. I love you!

Xoxo
Mattie

God blessed the broken road.

I am feeling so grateful and blessed! It has been quite a week! What with feeling pumped from conference, getting a bunch of calls from places that I applied to, getting 1st place at the BYU Fulton Conference in the college of Family Life, to getting A JOB FOR AFTER GRADUATION! I am so excited for it! I can't believe my dreams are coming true! I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father! I know that He has been blessing me lately, even when I couldn't always see it. I am thankful for the confirmation from Him that this is what He wants me to do.

Yesterday I went to the temple and I ran into two friends and it was so nice to see them! I also was able to really just feel the Spirit, and feel confirmation and peace about the things that I have planned for the future.

I absolutely LOVED the talks in sacrament meeting today! Sarah talked a lot about personal revelation, spiritual experiences, and gaining a testimony. My favorite thing that she talked about was how mental health, spirituality, and revelation go hand-in-hand. Sometimes your body can't receive revelation and you think that God isn't talking to you but that's not true. He is always there and He is always speaking to you. I really loved it because I've felt like God isn't speaking to me, and looking back, it's been in the past few years...which is when my mental health took a decline. So my body wasn't capable of receiving revelation...because my mind was sick. Once Sarah put that thought into words, things made a lot more sense.

In Relief Society today we talked about what we loved about conference. I loved what someone said she got from conference...She said, "Don't judge...just help each other and do your best." I love this because I got a similar message from conference. I got a message of love, service, and just trying your best.

Someone said, "Everything makes sense with the gospel because everything is because of the gospel." I loved that. Life is made easier with the gospel–with Christ–because everything is because of the gospel, and because of Christ. When my life is centered in Christ, and in the gospel, everything makes sense. I might not always understand what's going on, but I know that, no matter what, He is with me, and He loves me.

One of the last things we were talking about was how we should step forward and trust the Lord. Take His promptings for you and show Him that you trust Him. I really feel like I have been trying to do this lately. I have been trying to show Him that I trust Him. I realized that I needed to choose. I needed to make a decision about where I wanted to go. I had been asking and asking Heavenly Father to help guide me to making the decision...but I wasn't getting an answer. I felt like He was silent...but looking back, His silence was the answer. He left the decision up to me. So when I finally made a decision...I told Him if He didn't approve of my decision, He'd have to be very obvious in letting me know that He had a different idea for me. And He paved the way for me to get the job, so I knew that He approved of my choice.

I am very blessed and grateful for so many things that I have been blessed with...the blessing of music, the blessing of family, the blessing of love, the blessing of revelation, and the blessing of peace. I am so grateful for loving friends who are always willing to lend a helping hand and a listening ear.

I know that things happen for a reason, and I know that God has led me to today, and to this job. I am so grateful for the chance I have to be a part of something that I love and something that inspires me. I am so excited for the future and for the next adventures of my life! I am grateful that my Heavenly Father is so loving and kind. I am grateful that He is always there for me and that He supports me in all of my endeavors and dreams.

Xoxo
Mattie

It's up to us to turn towards Him.

I was reading in Alma earlier this week and had the thought that the Lamanites and Nephites had many cycles of righteousness and wickedness, and Heavenly Father gave them many second chances. I, too, have had many cycles of righteousness and 'wickedness', and Heavenly Father has given me so many second chances. I am so thankful for that! This week has been a difficult week in several ways but I've made it and am totally pleased with my choices. Hopefully this next week will be a lot easier. I've really been blessed these past couple weeks. I don't think we realize just how much a part of our lives our Savior and Heavenly Father are. I'm so thankful for their part in my life. I'm getting ready to go to Bear Lake this summer for work and I've been super stressed about it, but the last 24-ish hours I have been on top of the ball! I have to finish making my shopping list and then go shopping tomorrow, and then I have to finish packing. I'm excited for all the fun adventures that are going to happen this summer, but I'm nervous I'm going to forget something. But I'm trying to be positive, and in control of my anxiety and depression. Some days it's hard, and I feel lost, lonely, and unloved, but I know I'm not alone, I know I'm loved, and I know that my Savior is with me, so I know I'm really not lost. He knows where I am, and I just don't know where I am yet.

There's a song by Hilary Weeks that I love. It's called "Where I Am" and it's talking about how when Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are with us, we know where we are. I'm not always sure of where I am...lately I've been feeling really lost...but I know that as long as I am trying to do the right things, and as long as I am trying to be closer to my Savior...I don't need to worry. Because if I am not going in the right direction, He'll let me know. I can count on Him to guide me in the right direction.

One of the speakers in sacrament meeting said that, "Charity is something you acquire, and make a part of you... True charity is love in action. You are the gift. Fill the hunger for human connection... More isn't always better. Sometimes it's just more." I really loved this! Charity is a way for us to connect with other people! Deep down, everyone craves connection. Charity is a way for us to help create this connection between those who need and want it...and those who can show them love. The last thing that she said was that more isn't always better. I loved that. Sometimes, we go out of our way and over the top to show someone we love them, or to help someone in need...but sometimes all they need is someone to listen. Sometimes all they need is someone to watch their kids. Sometimes all they need is someone to tell them they are loved. Something simple, sweet, short.

I loved what the other speaker in sacrament meeting talked about. He talked about how Jesus grew. He brought up this scripture, Luke 2:52, which reads: "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." One thing that I noticed while he was talking about this scripture was really interesting:

• Wisdom = Mentally
• Stature = Physically
• Favour with God = Spiritually
• Favour with man = Socially

It states specifically in the scriptures that Jesus grew and increased in all of the areas that we all struggle with! At one time or another, we have all struggled (or will struggle with) at least one of these, if not all of them. And Jesus knows how we feel!! Not just because He felt our personal struggles when He atoned for us, but because He, too, experienced it for Himself! That is so amazing!! 

He also brought up the talk by Elder Massimo De Feo of the Seventy entitled "Pure Love: The True Sign of Every True Disciple of Jesus Christ", from the last General Conference. He talked about how Elder De Feo's mother was not a member of the church, and she was sick, and asked her son to teach her how to pray. Elder De Feo goes on to say, "How can someone who is in such great pain pray for someone else. She is the one in need." The answer? Pure love. His mother loved him so much that she forgot about herself. In her most critical hour, she loved him more than she loved herself. If this sounds familiar, you're correct. Someone else we know and love prayed for others while He was in great pain. Our Savior. He loved us so much that He was willing to go to great lengths to make sure that we could return to our Heavenly Father if we wanted to. Despite His pain and second thoughts, He went through it: He drank the bitter cup for us, and He died for us. All because He loved us.

Something some said today really stood out to me. He said, "Even great faith has a shelf life." I loved that. We have to make a daily effort to grow and maintain our faith. We are saplings in the gospel. We have to tend to our testimonies, our faith, our charity, our patience...all the attributes of Christ that we are trying to emulate and gain, we need to continuously tend to them. They will die if we don't nourish them.

Heavenly Father trusts us to do and be more. He really does. He's given us the tools and knowledge that we need to grow. He'll sometimes give us nudges...but ultimately, it's up to us. We have to be the ones to make the move. He will not force us to do anything we don't want to, but His arms are open, and He's knocking at our door. We just have to run to Him and let Him in.

I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who gives me so many second chances. I am so thankful for a Savior who is always with me. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have to start over again. I don't think I deserve them, but I am grateful for them. I am so grateful that my Savior loves me and thinks that I am worth saving and redeeming. I am so thankful for supportive and loving friends and family. I don't think I could do this without them.

I am blessed to have such a loving and supportive Father in Heaven, and His Son, my Savior and Redeemer.

Well, this week is my last week at home! I'm heading up to Bear Lake on Friday for my job at a scouting camp! I'm excited! I can't wait! I'm hoping to still keep posting on my blog every week this summer, but they either will not be super long, or I will miss a couple of weeks. I hope not, but just in case, this is me letting you know.

I hope everyone has a great last week before summer officially starts! I hope everyone has a sweet Memorial Day. I'm so thankful for all those who have died while serving our country. I am grateful for their service, and I hope that I can always remember that people have died to protect the ground that I walk every day.

The Christmas Musical Fireside!!

Oh my goodness gracious, guys, the Fireside was SO AMAZING!!!!! AH!!! I really could feel the Spirit so strong and all of the musical numbers were wonderful and amazing! I am so thankful that this month-long project of mine turned out really well!! It has been such a blessing in my life to work on, and even though it has been very stressful, all of the hard work that everyone has put into it paid off!! There was so much passion, and humbleness, and spiritualness in each and every piece–it was beautiful, and magical, and I am so, so, so, thankful!!!  💜💜💜💜💜💜

Sweet is the peace.

First things first, I'm now officially the ward choir director! I'm nervous but excited! It should be really fun. :) I love music and am excited to challenge myself in directing our choir to sing and really feel the message of the songs we will be performing, and share their testimonies and the Spirit with our ward. I've never legitimately led anyone in anything, so this will be a fun experience.

It's been a tough week for me, starting with the fact that I picked up two shifts last week and this week, and so I worked a lot more than normal (and I will work more the week after, as well) so I'm really tired; and I've got some personal things going on in my life that threw me off emotionally and made me question several things. But! My friends and family are the greatest and have been super supportive, patient, and loving, which has been such a blessing. I thank God every day for them, and I'm so lucky to have them in my life. ❤️❤️

Life is weird. One minute, life's going great–you're coasting in coolness–and the next thing you know, SPLAT!! You've hit a wall, and are no longer coasting in coolness. In fact, you're no longer coasting at all–you're just existing, meandering aimlessly, trying to find yourself again, or trying to find a meaning to all that is going on in your life. And you're just sort of stuck.

I've been there–several times–and I know how hard it is, and how it feels, and it's not always the greatest feeling. Sometimes, I've just felt kind of "Blah" about it, but sometimes it's made me feel really sad, or stressed, and I haven't really known how to fix it, or what to do about it. Sometimes I've just avoided doing anything about it for awhile, and just tried to move on with my life. Sometimes that doesn't work. I try to listen to music, specifically to help calm me, and bring the Spirit, and that always helps. What helps the most, though, is prayer–turning to my Heavenly Father. Sometimes the answer or help doesn't come right away, but what does come always is peace. Peace that things will work out, peace that I will be fine, and peace that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, and peace that I am where I am supposed to be. And oh how sweet is the peace!

I'm grateful for the peace that the Lord gives me in times of hardship, heartache, and sorrow, but also for the peace that He gives me when I'm doing the right things, and when I'm blessing other people's lives. There is no greater joy to me than sharing the love of my Heavenly Father and Savior with those around me, in whatever way, whether that be service, music, or just spending time with them and listening. I hope and pray every day that I am able to help someone feel the love of their Savior when they need it.

School is starting for many soon, and I just want to wish you all luck!! I know that everything will be all right, and that you will be blessed as you turn to your Father in Heaven for help and guidance.

Xoxo
Mattie

There are so many out there who need you.

What a weekend it's been!! It's been a good weekend but because I've been little off/not myself lately, this weekend was also a little hard and a little bit of a struggle. But God know what He's doing and He gave me the BEST roommates for the summer, and that's been such a blessing. They've helped me a lot this weekend and I know that they'll help me more as the summer goes on. Saturday afternoon was probably the most difficult time, but I went to Kristin Chenoweth's concert at the de Jong hall last night and it was FANTABULOUS and made up for the whole day; I couldn't stop smiling when I was walking home. That is, it did make up for the whole day until I got home and saw that one of my roommates had decorated my wall with things about me and had written me a card, and so together those things made my day one thousand percent better. I'm so blessed to have them in my life, and I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I've got the best support system and I know that they love me and will always be there for me.

I heard a LOT of things that I needed to hear today, so I'm just going to share my favorites from each meeting:
Sacrament Meeting:
-Press forward. We are to endure. We need to allow our journey to shape us.
-Oh this was my favorite. So in Matthew 5:48 it says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which in heaven is perfect." And in 3 Nephi 12: 48 it says, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." And I loved what Cheyenne said about it. She suggested that "being perfect" means "being FINISHED" ( i.e. completing our mortal mission on this life) because in 3 Nephi Jesus added that we should be perfect even as He is, and this is after He's been resurrected.

Gospel Doctrine:
-You need to prepare your heart to go to the temple.
-The Lord will bless you when you are ready.
-Be worthy to be there.

Relief Society:
So the lesson was entitled "Nurturing the Eternal Partnership of Marriage". Which is funny, living in a singles' ward. BUT Clarissa took the perfect spin on the lesson and it was something that I SO needed to hear, so I'm grateful for her and her special way of approaching this topic. Relief Society was absolutely perfect, and I needed it, and I'd like to thank Clarissa so much for the lesson! 

-"Because you do not happen to be married does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved." ~President Hinckley
-We still have worth. We are still valued.
-"You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you."
Someone said later, "The blessings aren't being held back; you're just not there yet."
-Living a righteous life will make you happy. You have to find your happiness now. Someone else said that getting married won't fix any problems, and by itself it won't make you happy. You have to find your happiness outside of any other person.
-What we do does matter, and we can make a difference in the world.
"Do not feel that because you are single, God has forsaken you. The world needs you. The Church needs you."
-The experiences that we're having now are building us up.
-"There are so many out there who need you... Keep you spiritual batteries at full charge and light the lamps of others."

I'm so grateful for the lesson, and for the words of President Hinckley and all of the women in Relief Society today. It was perfect and just what I needed to hear. I'm needed and I can make a difference in this world. I'm still loved.

Sometimes it amazes me how well God knows me and knows what I need. Like, most of the time I don't even know what I need or want! But God is all-knowing, and He made me, and He loves me, and He knows who I am going to be, and He knows how to take me there. He also knows what I need to hear, and when, and who I need to hear it from.

I went hospital singing again today and it was SUCH a blessing! I love singing with my friends and bringing the Spirit to those in the hospital on Sundays. It might be a day when they were feeling lonely or when they were feeling sad. Every time, though, it puts a smile on their face, and more often than not, tears to their eyes, and I can just feel God's love for them so strongly! He truly does love us, and care for us, and He knows what we need, every day.

Xoxo
Mattie

Changes.

So these were my thoughts during the sacrament today:

Well this weekend has been full of change. My roommates for the past eight months/school year all moved out to a different apartment, I received a new roommate who's really cool, and we're going to be getting  a new bishopric today. I am going to miss the old bishopric but am excited to see who our new bishopric is going to be. I am looking forward to this summer–lots of fun things to do, and I hope to get more excited as the summer goes on. Right now I am excited and nervous, because I've never spent the summer away from home before, but I think it will be fun. I'm grateful for my Savior–finals week was rough and tough, but I did it! And I was sick, too. I got all the rest I needed to get through finals. And now I should be able to catch up on my sleep and get so much better. I might be changing my major...again. But this will be the last time, I promise! I was having lunch with some friends on Wednesday and they mentioned this new major to me–and I don't need to apply to get in! That's exactly what I need! I'm going to look into it and probably go see someone in the department in the next couple of weeks so that I can hurry and change my fall schedule accordingly. Also, I got a SCHOLARSHIP for next year!! So that's fun. :)

I am going to miss our old bishopric, but Brother Durfey is staying!! So that is really awesome. Our new bishop seems really great and I'm excited to get to know him, our new counselor, and their wives. 

I'm feeling much better this week than I was last week, but I still have that blasted cough and cold! I'm hoping that catching up on sleep this week will be just the thing I need. I'm so grateful–my custodial job's hours are being pushed up (back?). I'm not sure of the phrasing but it's now from 4-8 instead of 5-9. So that will be just great!

I might be changing my major again...the Lord sure has a funny way of getting me on the right path hahaha but I still love Him :) Also I got a scholarship for fall/winter of 2017/2018!! I am so excited!! What a weight lifted off my shoulders–I don't have to repay it!!

As you can see, it's been quite a weekend, and I'm grateful for it. I'm looking forward to the future, and to having new things in my life. On to what I learned today. :) 

Sacrament meeting was quite emotional haha–I tried not to cry but once Sister Anderson started tearing up, I started crying, and basically didn't stop...I mean, it wasn't full-on waterworks, just a slow trickle, but I definitely was trying to hold back.

Sister Anderson:

Get sleep. Look for ways to serve others.

Heavenly Father notices effort, and He blesses effort.

(our old bishop) Bishop Anderson:

Inspiration can come at any time (but hearing the Spirit is harder the later it is).

Service can be difficult, but the Lord blesses us.

The Lord loves His children. He loves you and knows you.

He lives, loves, and knows you.

He smiles and is happy with minuscule changes. Keep trying to change! Focus on where you know He wants you to go. 

The Lord is quick to forgive.

"I'm not perfect yet."

There is power in the priesthood.

If you will let Him in, He will bless you.

(My favorite thing that Bishop said was "I'm not perfect yet." There is power in the fact that we have room to change and improve. We have the chance to progress here on earth. That's why we're here.)

Sister Wilhite:

There is no other way but through this Church.

Brother Wilhite:

The Savior lives and loves you.

(our new bishop) Bishop Frank Maughan:

We are noble and great.

Some of the things mentioned in Sunday School were:

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know and love us

Temple attendance and prayer are great and important things that we should be doing

"Move your life forward."

Priesthood/Relief Society was combined today: (topic was Sabbath Day)

Pres. Hinckley said "every sacrament meeting ought to be a spiritual feast" and "a time of spiritual refreshment."

"If the service is a failure to you, you have failed. No one can worship for you." Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

"The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things. Abstinence from work and recreation is important, but insufficient. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it. To observe it, one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, writing letters to missionaries, taking a nap, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day at which he is expected." ~Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

Funny thing...the reason why this is so late today is because I've been napping all afternoon. I'm just following the prophet. ;)

On a more serious note, I'm grateful for what I learned today. I'm grateful for my new roommate, who is just awesome!! Seriously, guys, she wrote me a note while I was napping in the living room!! We are going to get along just fine :) #ilovewritingnotes

I'm also grateful for our old bishopric, and our new bishopric. I am excited to get to know them, and I'm excited to get to know all of the new people who are moving into the ward this summer. I'm looking forward to all of the fun summer things that can happen this summer, and I hope that this summer will be an awesome one.

I know that God loves you, and I know that He is watching out for you, and guiding you. I know that your Savior loves you, and wants what is best for you. I know that service is the best way to show your Father in Heaven that you love Him. I know that service also always, always, always makes you feel better, about whatever it is you're going through. Taking time to put aside your worries and troubles and bless someone else's life makes you feel better, and you will be blessed for it.

I hope you all have a great week! For those of you still in school, hold on! It's almost over, and you can do it! <3

Xoxo

Mattie

He forces no one.

This weekend was General Conference!! I was so excited to be able to hear the messages of our prophets and leaders. I was not disappointed (never ever have I been disappointed)! I was blessed to be able to hear answers to prayers and questions that I have had, and also to questions I didn't know I had. There were some really powerful messages this weekend. I missed part of both of the Saturday sessions, so I cannot wait to read them again when they become available.

Though I loved them all, I'm going to share just a few of my favorite quotes (some may or may not be paraphrased). The bolded ones are the ones that really stood out to me. You can watch the messages or read them online when they become available at lds.org. :)

Pres. Donald L. Hallstrom:
-He allows some suffering because He knows it will bless us.

Elder Kevin R. Duncan:
-We can forgive, and we can be free.
-To forgive is not to condone.

Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson:
-It is a daily decision to choose faith over doubt.

Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
-There is no life so shattered that it cannot be restored.
-It matters not how you became lost. What matters is you are His child and He loves you.
-He will force no one to heaven. He will not rescue you if it is not your will.
-God sees us as we truly are, and He sees us worthy of rescue.

Elder Robert D. Hales:
-The Holy Ghost is not given to control us.

Elder Patrick Kearon:
-We must take a stance against intolerance.
-This moment does not define them, but our response will define us.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks:
-It is opposition that enables choice.
-Some things can only be learned by faith.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:
-We all have to come down from peak experiences to deal with the vicissitudes of life.
-The Lord blesses those who want to improve.
-We are to deal justly...walk humbly...and judge righteously.
-If we give our hearts to God, then tomorrow and every other day is ultimately going to be magnificent.

Again, it was an amazing weekend filled with inspired messages and I am so grateful that I was able to hear answers to my prayers and questions. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the living prophet today. I know that Joseph Smith, Jr. restored the true church to the earth. I know that Heavenly Father sent His Son to die for us. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and I know that He atoned for us, and that He was resurrected for us. I know that we are loved by our Savior and our Heavenly Father. I know that the speakers this weekend were inspired by God to talk about what we most needed to hear. I am so grateful that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am so grateful that I know that this is the true church, and that I know that God loves us and wants us to return to live with Him again. I also want to repeat what President Uchtdorf said about how He won't force anyone to heaven. It is your decision to listen, and to apply, and to do, and it is also your decision to turn away. He loves you, but He won't force you to be somewhere that you are not happy; He will respect your decision. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

My birthday adventure.

Well, yesterday was my birthday!!! I had a great day! It went like this:

I had orchestra rehearsal in the morning and my friend got me a couple of cute things; then when I read her card later, I cried a little (for the first time but definitely not the last time I'd cry that day).

So then I went to spend a couple of hours with my family; I got the new Cinderella movie!!! My parents are going to buy me a couple of tickets to a BYU arts production so I can take a friend and they are also going to buy me a new camera. I'm so excited!! Anyway, after we had treats (my mom made mini funfetti cheesecakes) my parents took me out to lunch, and then I was home for about another hour while I tried to work on stuff for the new year of college. During that time, one of my friends going to a different college called me, and so I got to talk to her for a bit, which was fun.

Then my dad took me back to my dorm, and I got ready for stake conference really quick and then I headed up to the Joseph Smith Auditorium for that. I heard a lot of messages that I needed to hear, and as we were singing the closing hymn, "How Firm A Foundation", I started to tear up a little about halfway through the second verse, but I totally lost it at the third verse, and I couldn't sing it. There was an older man sitting a seat over from me and he patted me on the shoulder and so of course I felt really self-conscious then and I tried to stop crying and I tried to sing the last couple of lines of the song, but it just wasn't happening. I just really needed to hear the message in that verse, and my Heavenly Father knew that.

After that, I met up with my friends for dinner and then we headed to BYU's Ballet production of Alice in Wonderland. It was so good!!! I had a great time. After the ballet, we headed back to our dorm and got changed and then we headed downstairs to the basement–my friend had made me a cake, and my friends sang to me and we had cake (one of my friends gave me a card) and chatted for awhile before we all had homework and things to do.

At this point, I wrote in my journal about my birthday (it took up like three pages) and some more crying commenced because it had been a super great day and I was just an emotional mess (as always ;) ) when I got to thinking about it all, and about the things that my friends had written in their cards. I have been having a bit of a hard time lately, what with still trying to figure out when to do my readings and things for my homework, amongst other things, and the things that my friends said in their cards to me were sweet words of love and encouragement that I needed. I'm so grateful for their examples to me, and for their love. Yesterday was an amazing day because of my friends and family, and I'm so grateful for all of the people in my life. <3 <3

Today I'm blessed and grateful.

Today I'm grateful for my hallmates. We seriously have the best hall—I'm not kidding. We always have the best time when we get together, and everyone is always smiling, and everyone is so kind to each other. I'm so grateful to be a part of this hall. I love these girls so much and I'm so grateful that I have been able to get to know them.

Today was a special day. I performed in sacrament meeting today, and I was accompanied by two of the girls from my hall (who are two super talented and absolutely gorgeous girls), and I feel so blessed! I was SUPER nervous about singing—all week I was super excited but today, when I saw my name in the program, I swear my heart was going to pound through my chest—and I prayed a LOT this morning that I would be able to sing well and that I would calm down. I feel like I started off kind of weak at first but as we kept going, I grew more confident and I was able to sing strongly, and I felt like I was being supported by angels, and by the end of the song, I felt like I could conquer the world. It was such a spiritual experience and I'm grateful that I got to experience it with my friends. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I had to bear my testimony of the Savior through the song "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul". It's one of my favorites and I'm so grateful for Him and all that He has done and does for me.

Big time blessings.

Well, today I was blessed BIG time. I was set to register today starting at midnight. Yesterday, I set my alarm for 11:30pm and went to bed. I woke up with a start, checked my clock, and was like "Crap! My alarm didn't go off! It should've gone off!" It was 2:30 AM (I actually don't know how I woke up on my own. I am taking a medication that knocks me out for like eight hours. I should've still been asleep. Thanks, God. :) ). I quickly got up and logged on. My first class was gone! I moved on to the next one. Also gone! Only one of the four class that I originally had planned to take was I able to get. All of my backups were gone, too, and then I just did some hardcore searching. I had to get to 12 credits in order to stay a full-time student. I finally got up to thirteen credits and then I stopped and got ready for work. Later, before American Heritage, I signed up to be on the waiting list for two of the classes that I originally wanted. And back at my dorm I signed up for another class that I had originally wanted, just at a different time. ANYWAY. Long story short: It's all good. :) I am content with my schedule right now–I'm actually really blessed that I was able to get enough credits to stay a full-time student with classes that I'm interested in–and I'll be happy if I am able to get the other classes that I wanted. But if not... I will trust Him.

I'm so blessed.

This week, for my weekly quote, I decided to keep last week's quote up but I also added a little different one. "Life is so good." Because, really, life is so good. I am so blessed. Even though I hate the hours, I'm glad that I have a job. I am also glad that I am able to go to school here at BYU, where so many people have the same standards as I do. I'm glad that I have been making lots of friends, even though sometimes it's hard and drags me kicking and screaming out of my comfort zone. ;) I'm so glad that there are so many great examples out here! I've had many awesome examples of righteousness in my life, and I'm just so glad that it can continue here at college. This is where I've always wanted to go, but I also know that this is where I'm meant to be. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Miracles and tender mercies.

Okay, I had a miracle happen this week. I had to take a president's test for history and I had to memorize lots of people, parties, and facts. It was the last week of term, and I had to have the test taken by Friday, or yesterday. I studied my heart out all last weekend and all this week until Thursday because Friday after school I was originally supposed to have auditions for chamber orchestra that day after school, so I couldn't take the test on Friday--also I didn't want to take it on Friday because if I failed I'd have to take it again right after and that would be no fun. Anyway. I took the test on Thursday, and I thought I did okay--fabulous on the first part, and a little iffy on the last part--which I hadn't fully memorized, so shh...I worried about it all day, studied a little more during orchestra because Mrs. Kelley told me to, and just kind of flew through the day, not knowing what was going to happen because chamber auditions had been changed to the 31st, so I couldn't tell if Life liked me or if it was going to hate me by the end of day and I'd have to take the test again. Thankfully, I passed! I know I wouldn't have been able to do it without my Heavenly Father's help, or my sister's--she helped me study. I know that The Lord blessed me to be able to memorize all that I needed to in a week, and to remember some random stuff from my four years of honors history. It was such a tender mercy and I'm so thankful for His hand in my life.