There are so many out there who need you.

What a weekend it's been!! It's been a good weekend but because I've been little off/not myself lately, this weekend was also a little hard and a little bit of a struggle. But God know what He's doing and He gave me the BEST roommates for the summer, and that's been such a blessing. They've helped me a lot this weekend and I know that they'll help me more as the summer goes on. Saturday afternoon was probably the most difficult time, but I went to Kristin Chenoweth's concert at the de Jong hall last night and it was FANTABULOUS and made up for the whole day; I couldn't stop smiling when I was walking home. That is, it did make up for the whole day until I got home and saw that one of my roommates had decorated my wall with things about me and had written me a card, and so together those things made my day one thousand percent better. I'm so blessed to have them in my life, and I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I've got the best support system and I know that they love me and will always be there for me.

I heard a LOT of things that I needed to hear today, so I'm just going to share my favorites from each meeting:
Sacrament Meeting:
-Press forward. We are to endure. We need to allow our journey to shape us.
-Oh this was my favorite. So in Matthew 5:48 it says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which in heaven is perfect." And in 3 Nephi 12: 48 it says, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." And I loved what Cheyenne said about it. She suggested that "being perfect" means "being FINISHED" ( i.e. completing our mortal mission on this life) because in 3 Nephi Jesus added that we should be perfect even as He is, and this is after He's been resurrected.

Gospel Doctrine:
-You need to prepare your heart to go to the temple.
-The Lord will bless you when you are ready.
-Be worthy to be there.

Relief Society:
So the lesson was entitled "Nurturing the Eternal Partnership of Marriage". Which is funny, living in a singles' ward. BUT Clarissa took the perfect spin on the lesson and it was something that I SO needed to hear, so I'm grateful for her and her special way of approaching this topic. Relief Society was absolutely perfect, and I needed it, and I'd like to thank Clarissa so much for the lesson! 

-"Because you do not happen to be married does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved." ~President Hinckley
-We still have worth. We are still valued.
-"You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you."
Someone said later, "The blessings aren't being held back; you're just not there yet."
-Living a righteous life will make you happy. You have to find your happiness now. Someone else said that getting married won't fix any problems, and by itself it won't make you happy. You have to find your happiness outside of any other person.
-What we do does matter, and we can make a difference in the world.
"Do not feel that because you are single, God has forsaken you. The world needs you. The Church needs you."
-The experiences that we're having now are building us up.
-"There are so many out there who need you... Keep you spiritual batteries at full charge and light the lamps of others."

I'm so grateful for the lesson, and for the words of President Hinckley and all of the women in Relief Society today. It was perfect and just what I needed to hear. I'm needed and I can make a difference in this world. I'm still loved.

Sometimes it amazes me how well God knows me and knows what I need. Like, most of the time I don't even know what I need or want! But God is all-knowing, and He made me, and He loves me, and He knows who I am going to be, and He knows how to take me there. He also knows what I need to hear, and when, and who I need to hear it from.

I went hospital singing again today and it was SUCH a blessing! I love singing with my friends and bringing the Spirit to those in the hospital on Sundays. It might be a day when they were feeling lonely or when they were feeling sad. Every time, though, it puts a smile on their face, and more often than not, tears to their eyes, and I can just feel God's love for them so strongly! He truly does love us, and care for us, and He knows what we need, every day.

Xoxo
Mattie

When God talks to me.

I love it when God talks to me!! So, I was feeling a little alone, left out, forgotten, and sad about a bunch of things, and so I typed up this "letter":

Dear God,
I'm glad that all my friends are having fun. I'm glad that all my missionary friends are excited to go on their missions. I'm glad that everyone is having a good time. But what about me? Did you forget about me? I love you and know you have my best interests at heart, but what are they? I like seeing that all my friends are alive, and well, and having a good time, but what about me? I feel like I'm just doing the same things over and over, and I haven't really had a big fun thing since the beginning of the summer. It's just the same old routine. I feel like I'm never going to find anyone who is going to love me for me. Am I ever going to have a good time? Please, don't forget me. I feel alone enough as it is.
Love,
Your Daughter,
Mattie

And I tried to talk to my friend, but they weren't answering. So then I decided to open my scriptures. I'm ashamed to say that it's been a little while, and I'm also ashamed to say that opening my scriptures wasn't my first thought. I'm trying to be better about it, though. That's what I'm trying to work on as I get ready to leave for college. (P.S. College was part of the reason why I was feeling alone). ANYWAY. I have a "Spiritual Directory" and it's got all of these different "When you need to..." situations. I looked up the "When you need to feel loved" (John 15:13) and "When you need comfort" (Isaiah 49: 15-16). I also have a copy of the Relief Society theme that I looked at as I opened up my Daughters in My Kingdom book (I glanced at the first line before turning to my scriptures). Turns out they were all exactly what I needed!!

The Relief Society theme said: "Our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction."

Isaiah 49: 15-16 said: God will not forget me. I am engraved upon the palms of His hands.

John 15:13 said: "Greater love hath no man that this, that a man may lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:14 said: "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you."

John 15:13 makes me think of the Atonement, and he called us His friends. His friends. We are not just a sea of people to Him. He knows us all by name. He knows our thoughts, our anxieties, our deepest fears, our deepest loves. He knows our trials, our tragedies, our happiest times, our worst times. He knows how hard losing our friend was. He knows how hard seeing someone you love get sicker. He knows how hard being alone is. He knows how hard you've worked. He knows how anxious you feel when you think you are bothering people. He knows it all. He knows. He did not just watch you. He is not just watching you go through it. He has gone through it already and is standing by, helping you get through it. He is giving you the strength you need, and when you cannot do it any longer, He will carry you. He has felt it all, and because of that, He will not let you fall.

I know that life is rough sometimes, but as I was thinking about it earlier, guess what? God is doing me a favor. I worked so hard though high school! I worked my tail off! Yeah, I did a lot of fun things, but I worked so hard to get good grades so I could get into a good college. It worked! I got into BYU-Provo!! And so I think that God is rewarding me. I worked really hard, and so He is giving me the summer off–literally. I would rather be doing fun things, like hanging out in my yard, going to the park, pool, etc. with my friends because we are all going in separate directions, but there's still time for that, I think. Anyway, I'm grateful for this break, now that I think about it. I don't know what I'm going to do about feeling like I'm not ever going to find someone who is going to love me for me, and who is worthy to take me to the temple, and who is going to make me feel safe, and who is going to treat me like a queen (When I find him, I'm going to make him feel safe and I'm going to treat him like a king). And so I'm trying to be worthy to go to the temple. I'm having a hard time finding time to study my scriptures, but I am going to try so hard this week!! I have two missionary farewells on Sunday (although my dad says they're not called that anymore, but whatever) that I am super excited for but I am also sad. A lot of my friends have already gone. And it's hard. It's been hard on me. I'm so excited for them and I'm so grateful for their examples, but I don't know what to do. Um, I have to go–it's getting late, and this topic is turning real personal real fast, and I don't want to get into that right now. So, to sum up: We are His friends, we are loved, and we are not forgotten–least of all by Him. Love you guys!! Thanks for reading! <3

P.S. The topic of the temple keeps popping up EVERYWHERE!! I am not even joking. So I do not know what that means. Maybe it means that I need to be getting ready. I am trying so, so hard, but I do not know if I am ready to be sent out into the world on my own yet...

How we can know Heavenly Father.

Today in Young Women's we learned how to come to know Heavenly Father. First, let me ask you something. Think of someone you know really well. What are some of the qualities they have that help you, or make you love them?

Here's a list of some of the things we thought of:

Believes in me

Loves me

Cares for me

Trusts me//two-way trust

Food

Unconditional love

Friendship

Fun

Kind

Someone to look up to

Motivates me to be a better person

Always there

Listens to me

Helps me

One other question I have is this: Do you know the difference between knowing of someone, and knowing someone? Knowing of someone is knowing the basics. Their name. Their hobbies. Knowing someone is knowing them personally. Knowing why their favorite color is green. Knowing that they are allergic to peanut butter. Knowing why they like the things they do. Knowing them for who they are. Heavenly Father knows us personally. That list of characteristics up there? Heavenly Father has a lot of them. He cares for us. He believes in us. He knows our likes, our dislikes. He knows our hobbies. He knows our hearts. He knows everything about us. How much do we really know Him, though? In order to get to know Him, we can read the scriptures and pray. Spend time with Him. In order to get to know someone, we have to spend time with them. So spend time with your Heavenly Father. Get to know Him. It's never too late. He's waiting for you, and His arms are open.