Sweet is the peace.

First things first, I'm now officially the ward choir director! I'm nervous but excited! It should be really fun. :) I love music and am excited to challenge myself in directing our choir to sing and really feel the message of the songs we will be performing, and share their testimonies and the Spirit with our ward. I've never legitimately led anyone in anything, so this will be a fun experience.

It's been a tough week for me, starting with the fact that I picked up two shifts last week and this week, and so I worked a lot more than normal (and I will work more the week after, as well) so I'm really tired; and I've got some personal things going on in my life that threw me off emotionally and made me question several things. But! My friends and family are the greatest and have been super supportive, patient, and loving, which has been such a blessing. I thank God every day for them, and I'm so lucky to have them in my life. ❤️❤️

Life is weird. One minute, life's going great–you're coasting in coolness–and the next thing you know, SPLAT!! You've hit a wall, and are no longer coasting in coolness. In fact, you're no longer coasting at all–you're just existing, meandering aimlessly, trying to find yourself again, or trying to find a meaning to all that is going on in your life. And you're just sort of stuck.

I've been there–several times–and I know how hard it is, and how it feels, and it's not always the greatest feeling. Sometimes, I've just felt kind of "Blah" about it, but sometimes it's made me feel really sad, or stressed, and I haven't really known how to fix it, or what to do about it. Sometimes I've just avoided doing anything about it for awhile, and just tried to move on with my life. Sometimes that doesn't work. I try to listen to music, specifically to help calm me, and bring the Spirit, and that always helps. What helps the most, though, is prayer–turning to my Heavenly Father. Sometimes the answer or help doesn't come right away, but what does come always is peace. Peace that things will work out, peace that I will be fine, and peace that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, and peace that I am where I am supposed to be. And oh how sweet is the peace!

I'm grateful for the peace that the Lord gives me in times of hardship, heartache, and sorrow, but also for the peace that He gives me when I'm doing the right things, and when I'm blessing other people's lives. There is no greater joy to me than sharing the love of my Heavenly Father and Savior with those around me, in whatever way, whether that be service, music, or just spending time with them and listening. I hope and pray every day that I am able to help someone feel the love of their Savior when they need it.

School is starting for many soon, and I just want to wish you all luck!! I know that everything will be all right, and that you will be blessed as you turn to your Father in Heaven for help and guidance.

Xoxo
Mattie

There are so many out there who need you.

What a weekend it's been!! It's been a good weekend but because I've been little off/not myself lately, this weekend was also a little hard and a little bit of a struggle. But God know what He's doing and He gave me the BEST roommates for the summer, and that's been such a blessing. They've helped me a lot this weekend and I know that they'll help me more as the summer goes on. Saturday afternoon was probably the most difficult time, but I went to Kristin Chenoweth's concert at the de Jong hall last night and it was FANTABULOUS and made up for the whole day; I couldn't stop smiling when I was walking home. That is, it did make up for the whole day until I got home and saw that one of my roommates had decorated my wall with things about me and had written me a card, and so together those things made my day one thousand percent better. I'm so blessed to have them in my life, and I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I've got the best support system and I know that they love me and will always be there for me.

I heard a LOT of things that I needed to hear today, so I'm just going to share my favorites from each meeting:
Sacrament Meeting:
-Press forward. We are to endure. We need to allow our journey to shape us.
-Oh this was my favorite. So in Matthew 5:48 it says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which in heaven is perfect." And in 3 Nephi 12: 48 it says, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." And I loved what Cheyenne said about it. She suggested that "being perfect" means "being FINISHED" ( i.e. completing our mortal mission on this life) because in 3 Nephi Jesus added that we should be perfect even as He is, and this is after He's been resurrected.

Gospel Doctrine:
-You need to prepare your heart to go to the temple.
-The Lord will bless you when you are ready.
-Be worthy to be there.

Relief Society:
So the lesson was entitled "Nurturing the Eternal Partnership of Marriage". Which is funny, living in a singles' ward. BUT Clarissa took the perfect spin on the lesson and it was something that I SO needed to hear, so I'm grateful for her and her special way of approaching this topic. Relief Society was absolutely perfect, and I needed it, and I'd like to thank Clarissa so much for the lesson! 

-"Because you do not happen to be married does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved." ~President Hinckley
-We still have worth. We are still valued.
-"You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you."
Someone said later, "The blessings aren't being held back; you're just not there yet."
-Living a righteous life will make you happy. You have to find your happiness now. Someone else said that getting married won't fix any problems, and by itself it won't make you happy. You have to find your happiness outside of any other person.
-What we do does matter, and we can make a difference in the world.
"Do not feel that because you are single, God has forsaken you. The world needs you. The Church needs you."
-The experiences that we're having now are building us up.
-"There are so many out there who need you... Keep you spiritual batteries at full charge and light the lamps of others."

I'm so grateful for the lesson, and for the words of President Hinckley and all of the women in Relief Society today. It was perfect and just what I needed to hear. I'm needed and I can make a difference in this world. I'm still loved.

Sometimes it amazes me how well God knows me and knows what I need. Like, most of the time I don't even know what I need or want! But God is all-knowing, and He made me, and He loves me, and He knows who I am going to be, and He knows how to take me there. He also knows what I need to hear, and when, and who I need to hear it from.

I went hospital singing again today and it was SUCH a blessing! I love singing with my friends and bringing the Spirit to those in the hospital on Sundays. It might be a day when they were feeling lonely or when they were feeling sad. Every time, though, it puts a smile on their face, and more often than not, tears to their eyes, and I can just feel God's love for them so strongly! He truly does love us, and care for us, and He knows what we need, every day.

Xoxo
Mattie

Changes.

So these were my thoughts during the sacrament today:

Well this weekend has been full of change. My roommates for the past eight months/school year all moved out to a different apartment, I received a new roommate who's really cool, and we're going to be getting  a new bishopric today. I am going to miss the old bishopric but am excited to see who our new bishopric is going to be. I am looking forward to this summer–lots of fun things to do, and I hope to get more excited as the summer goes on. Right now I am excited and nervous, because I've never spent the summer away from home before, but I think it will be fun. I'm grateful for my Savior–finals week was rough and tough, but I did it! And I was sick, too. I got all the rest I needed to get through finals. And now I should be able to catch up on my sleep and get so much better. I might be changing my major...again. But this will be the last time, I promise! I was having lunch with some friends on Wednesday and they mentioned this new major to me–and I don't need to apply to get in! That's exactly what I need! I'm going to look into it and probably go see someone in the department in the next couple of weeks so that I can hurry and change my fall schedule accordingly. Also, I got a SCHOLARSHIP for next year!! So that's fun. :)

I am going to miss our old bishopric, but Brother Durfey is staying!! So that is really awesome. Our new bishop seems really great and I'm excited to get to know him, our new counselor, and their wives. 

I'm feeling much better this week than I was last week, but I still have that blasted cough and cold! I'm hoping that catching up on sleep this week will be just the thing I need. I'm so grateful–my custodial job's hours are being pushed up (back?). I'm not sure of the phrasing but it's now from 4-8 instead of 5-9. So that will be just great!

I might be changing my major again...the Lord sure has a funny way of getting me on the right path hahaha but I still love Him :) Also I got a scholarship for fall/winter of 2017/2018!! I am so excited!! What a weight lifted off my shoulders–I don't have to repay it!!

As you can see, it's been quite a weekend, and I'm grateful for it. I'm looking forward to the future, and to having new things in my life. On to what I learned today. :) 

Sacrament meeting was quite emotional haha–I tried not to cry but once Sister Anderson started tearing up, I started crying, and basically didn't stop...I mean, it wasn't full-on waterworks, just a slow trickle, but I definitely was trying to hold back.

Sister Anderson:

Get sleep. Look for ways to serve others.

Heavenly Father notices effort, and He blesses effort.

(our old bishop) Bishop Anderson:

Inspiration can come at any time (but hearing the Spirit is harder the later it is).

Service can be difficult, but the Lord blesses us.

The Lord loves His children. He loves you and knows you.

He lives, loves, and knows you.

He smiles and is happy with minuscule changes. Keep trying to change! Focus on where you know He wants you to go. 

The Lord is quick to forgive.

"I'm not perfect yet."

There is power in the priesthood.

If you will let Him in, He will bless you.

(My favorite thing that Bishop said was "I'm not perfect yet." There is power in the fact that we have room to change and improve. We have the chance to progress here on earth. That's why we're here.)

Sister Wilhite:

There is no other way but through this Church.

Brother Wilhite:

The Savior lives and loves you.

(our new bishop) Bishop Frank Maughan:

We are noble and great.

Some of the things mentioned in Sunday School were:

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know and love us

Temple attendance and prayer are great and important things that we should be doing

"Move your life forward."

Priesthood/Relief Society was combined today: (topic was Sabbath Day)

Pres. Hinckley said "every sacrament meeting ought to be a spiritual feast" and "a time of spiritual refreshment."

"If the service is a failure to you, you have failed. No one can worship for you." Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

"The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things. Abstinence from work and recreation is important, but insufficient. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it. To observe it, one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, writing letters to missionaries, taking a nap, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day at which he is expected." ~Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

Funny thing...the reason why this is so late today is because I've been napping all afternoon. I'm just following the prophet. ;)

On a more serious note, I'm grateful for what I learned today. I'm grateful for my new roommate, who is just awesome!! Seriously, guys, she wrote me a note while I was napping in the living room!! We are going to get along just fine :) #ilovewritingnotes

I'm also grateful for our old bishopric, and our new bishopric. I am excited to get to know them, and I'm excited to get to know all of the new people who are moving into the ward this summer. I'm looking forward to all of the fun summer things that can happen this summer, and I hope that this summer will be an awesome one.

I know that God loves you, and I know that He is watching out for you, and guiding you. I know that your Savior loves you, and wants what is best for you. I know that service is the best way to show your Father in Heaven that you love Him. I know that service also always, always, always makes you feel better, about whatever it is you're going through. Taking time to put aside your worries and troubles and bless someone else's life makes you feel better, and you will be blessed for it.

I hope you all have a great week! For those of you still in school, hold on! It's almost over, and you can do it! <3

Xoxo

Mattie

Today's the day.

99.999999% of the time, I don't know what I'm doing. With my life, with me. But thankfully my Heavenly Father does, and my Savior knows Heavenly Father's plan for me. So I can turn to Him for help. Trying to live my life the way I want to doesn't always work. But when I let go, and turn to my Heavenly Father for help and guidance, things fall into place, and I am happier. Don't get me wrong–I still make mistakes–but letting go of how I wanted my life to go and focusing on how God knows it goes makes me happier. I know He knows what He is doing and will guide me to where I need to be. I've never felt more at peace than when I let go of what I thought I wanted to do and asked God what He knew I needed to do, and found that that really was what I wanted to do.

A couple of things were said over the course of today that I loved that I am going to share:
-You can always start over. Today's the day. (I love Brother Wilhite! So thankful for this message he shared today.)
-God is so mindful of us. (He knows us. He knows what we're going through and what we need.)
-You need to maintain your testimony. (You can't help and share your testimony if you don't have a strong foundation, and if you don't maintain your testimony.)

I know that I make mistakes–so many!–but I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to repent each week and start again. Today's the day to start–or start again–and make goals and try to be better this week. I'm so grateful that I can depend on my Savior and turn to Him when I need help. I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father, and for His love. I'm lucky to know that I am a daughter of God, and that I have a divine nature and destiny.

I know that God loves you. I know that He is watching out for you. He's blessing your life in many ways all the time. He sends you people that you need in your life when you need them. I know that He knows you personally. I know that He sent you to earth for a purpose. You are here for a reason, and you are important, and wanted, and loved. ❤️

Xoxo
Mattie

Blessings on crazy days.

I feel like I need to say something today. Today was crazy!! I had an a cappella performance tonight so I couldn't work. So a couple of weeks ago I asked if someone could cover for me, and someone said he could. I was like, "Sweet!" So I tried to contact him the other day and make sure that he was still okay with covering for me. Nothing. I was like, "Okay, I'll try again tomorrow." Tomorrow as in yesterday. Nothing. I tried again this morning. NOTHING. By now, I'm freaking out and worried—worried that he wouldn't ever respond; worried that he'd be like, "Actually, I forgot, and now I can't"; worried what I would do. I didn't take my work clothes because I was counting on him to cover for me, but I was worried I'd have to go to work, so I'd have to run from my last class home to change for work—it would be a mess—I'd be a mess. Anyway, my first class was at noon so I just went to class. Finally, sometime between 1 and 3, I decided to comment on the post on the employee Facebook group that I had posted a couple weeks (make sense? I posted to the group a couple weeks ago and decided to comment again). HE RESPONDED! I was like, "Halle-freakin-lujah! Thank you!" And he was still able to cover for me. So grateful for that tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. He really does care for us and know how to soothe our souls. I love Him and am grateful for Him and His Son—my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to turn to and count on Him for anything and everything. Especially since I am a stresser and a worrier. I'm glad that I can turn to Him—though, I'll be honest, sometimes I get so wrapped up in my worries and stresses that I forget to turn to Him. But when I do remember to turn to Him, He's there, waiting. And He's there, keeping me up, and loving me, no matter what.