Blessed to love and be loved.

Today is Sunday May 17, 2020, and today is also my last Sunday as an unmarried woman, because I am marrying my best friend in 3 days!!!

This has been a long road, full of loneliness at times, as well as heartache. But I was blessed with amazing friends, mentors, leaders, and a loving Savior and Father in Heaven to guide me along my journey in life. Ricky came into my life unexpectedly, but he was a fresh drink of water. He was just what I needed at that moment in life, and then I realized that I didn't want to live my life without him. Luckily, he realized he didn't want to live his life without me, either. 💜

We are so excited to begin our life together!!! I am so excited to go on adventures with him and to create our life together! I fall more in love with him every day and I am so grateful to be able to keep falling in love with him every day!

Though our wedding planning experience hasn't been what we had expected, it has helped me remember to focus on Ricky and I, and the covenants and promises that we will be making with and to each other and Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for Ricky's tenderness, his kind heart, his compassionate nature, his respectful attitude, and his sweet love towards me. He is a wonderful example to me of being Christlike, and I am SO blessed to be able to love (and be loved by) him!

We are two different people, with two completely different life experiences, and we won't always see eye to eye about things, but I always want to share my life with him. 💜

I am so grateful for the amazing examples of loving and healthy relationships in my life that I have to look up to. My grandparents, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my friends, and all of the General Authorities. The love that they have for, and how they talk about, their wives, is SO sweet, and I hope that Ricky and I will talk about each other like that in the future. 

In a BYU Devotional given by Elder Richard G. Scott in 2010 entitled, To Have Peace and Happiness, he says:

"Pure love is an incomparable, potent power for good. Righteous love is the foundation of a successful marriage. It is the primary cause of contented, well-developed children. Who can justly measure the righteous influence of a mother’s love? What enduring fruits will result from the seeds of truth that you as a mother can carefully plant and lovingly cultivate in the fertile soil of your own child’s trusting mind and heart? As a mother, you have been given divine instincts to help you sense your child’s special talents and unique capacities. With your husband, you can nurture, strengthen, and cause those traits to flower.
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In closing I share an eternal principle that will assure you of a rich, purposeful life whether you are single or married. I have found that the best way to live life is to seek to know the will of the Lord as guided by the Holy Spirit. He knows what is best for you. As you are obedient and exercise faith in Him, He will help you realize His will for you in your life. May the Lord inspire, guide, and richly bless each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

I am so grateful for the loving and sweet examples of the prophets and apostles on how to love your spouse. I am looking forward to growing spiritually with Ricky as we move forward in our lives together. He is such a blessing in my life, and I hope that I can be a blessing to him, too.

We will be having a virtual wedding via Zoom! If you would like to celebrate with us, please let me know and I will send the link to you.

I hope you all have an exciting week! I know I will! I'm getting married and then going to St. George with my HUSBAND!!! I am so blessed to love him and to be loved by him!

God loves you and has amazing plans in store for you! You are wonderful, amazing, and loved by so many!

Xoxo
Mattie

Shining bright with hope.

It's been a few weeks since I've updated my blog. I'm sorry about that. Life has been crazy and hectic. Things have been changing almost every day and it's been stressing me out, and I needed to take a breather.

Over the last few weeks, I have had a lot going on. I have had the opportunity to move into my new apartment, where Ricky will be joining me on May 20th when we are married. I have had the stress of a new job, which keeps changing things almost every day, and it's very hard to keep track of sometimes. And I have still been finalizing weddings plans. We were kind of counting on being able to use the church's cultural hall, but that is no longer an option. Instead, we will be getting married in my parents' front yard, and we are trying to figure out how to do a Facebook live or Zoom call or something like that so that Ricky's parents can participate, as well as any other extended family and friends of ours that would like to participate.

Today, the Church released that they are opening some temples in Utah for live sealings of previously endowed members. Ricky and I fall into this category. While I would much like to wait until we can invite so many more of our family and friends, as the future is unknown and we don't know when that would be, we are going to try to be sealed as soon as possible. While I am unsure yet how many guests we can have, I am sure it will be no more than 20, as that is the state's current number for "groups".

I am not going to lie, I am kind of super disappointed and sad. This whole experience has just been STRESSFUL for me. I haven't been able to really enjoy my time being engaged. My wedding plans have been changing on the daily, and I don't even know what's happening anymore. The minute that some temples were announced as being reopened for previously endowed members of the Church to be sealed as husband and wife, EVERYONE I know was sending me the link to the article, and asking if that changed things. I am not going to lie–I cried on my lunch break today because I was so overwhelmed and stressed. I was just about ready to relax because everything was pretty much done for the wedding–we just needed to buy Ricky's tie, probably some wedding decorations, and get/make food for the wedding brunch–and then the temples reopened and added a new element for me to think on.

I am really trying not to stress about this, but it is just so much more emotionally and mentally taxing for me than I thought it would be. I am grateful that I have Ricky to lean on. He has been so amazing through everything. I am so lucky to be the one that he chooses everyday, and I am so grateful that I get to choose him every day. It's the best and easiest choice I've ever made in my entire life. He is the brightest spot in my life when things are dark. He is always shining bright, and I love that about him.

Photo Credit: Beyond The Darkroom Photography

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In Elder L. Whitney Clayton's General Conference talk in April 2013 "Marriage: Watch and Learn", he gives some great marriage advice that I loved.

"First, I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless.

Next, faith. Successful eternal marriages are built on the foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and adherence to His teachings. I have observed that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing. Their mutual quest is to be obedient and good. They do not consider the commandments to be a buffet from which they can pick and choose only the most appealing offerings.

Faith is the foundation of every virtue that strengthens marriage. Strengthening faith strengthens marriage. Faith grows as we keep the commandments, and so do the harmony and joy in marriage. Thus, keeping the commandments is fundamental to establishing strong eternal marriages. Watch and learn: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of happy eternal marriages.

Third, repentance. I have learned that happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. It is an essential element in every good marital relationship. Spouses who regularly conduct honest self-examination and promptly take needed steps to repent and improve experience a healing balm in their marriages. Repentance helps restore and maintain harmony and peace.

Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness. Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages.

Fourth, respect. I have observed that in wonderful, happy marriages, husbands and wives treat each other as equal partners. Practices from any place or any time in which husbands have dominated wives or treated them in any way as second-class partners in marriage are not in keeping with divine law and should be replaced by correct principles and patterns of behavior."

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I am so excited to be Ricky's partner and equal in life. I am so excited to go shopping every other weekend with him. I am so excited to discuss dinner options for the week. I am so excited to wake up next to him every morning. I am so excited to be able to study our scriptures and pray together in our own home. I am so excited to be able to create our life and family together. I am so excited to be able to grow closer together and grow closer to God together. I am so excited to be able to move forward in life with him by my side. Together, I know that we will be able to make our way through this crazy adventure called life together. 

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed me in so many ways. I am so grateful for the examples that I have to look up to in my life of great marriages. I am grateful for the wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive and loving. Even though things keep changing on me, and it is stressful, I am learning to work through them. I am learning to take things one thing at a time. Some days, I don't always remember that. But each day is something new. Each day is different. Each day is a blessing. And I know that I am never alone.

Xoxo

Mattie

My birthday adventure.

Well, yesterday was my birthday!!! I had a great day! It went like this:

I had orchestra rehearsal in the morning and my friend got me a couple of cute things; then when I read her card later, I cried a little (for the first time but definitely not the last time I'd cry that day).

So then I went to spend a couple of hours with my family; I got the new Cinderella movie!!! My parents are going to buy me a couple of tickets to a BYU arts production so I can take a friend and they are also going to buy me a new camera. I'm so excited!! Anyway, after we had treats (my mom made mini funfetti cheesecakes) my parents took me out to lunch, and then I was home for about another hour while I tried to work on stuff for the new year of college. During that time, one of my friends going to a different college called me, and so I got to talk to her for a bit, which was fun.

Then my dad took me back to my dorm, and I got ready for stake conference really quick and then I headed up to the Joseph Smith Auditorium for that. I heard a lot of messages that I needed to hear, and as we were singing the closing hymn, "How Firm A Foundation", I started to tear up a little about halfway through the second verse, but I totally lost it at the third verse, and I couldn't sing it. There was an older man sitting a seat over from me and he patted me on the shoulder and so of course I felt really self-conscious then and I tried to stop crying and I tried to sing the last couple of lines of the song, but it just wasn't happening. I just really needed to hear the message in that verse, and my Heavenly Father knew that.

After that, I met up with my friends for dinner and then we headed to BYU's Ballet production of Alice in Wonderland. It was so good!!! I had a great time. After the ballet, we headed back to our dorm and got changed and then we headed downstairs to the basement–my friend had made me a cake, and my friends sang to me and we had cake (one of my friends gave me a card) and chatted for awhile before we all had homework and things to do.

At this point, I wrote in my journal about my birthday (it took up like three pages) and some more crying commenced because it had been a super great day and I was just an emotional mess (as always ;) ) when I got to thinking about it all, and about the things that my friends had written in their cards. I have been having a bit of a hard time lately, what with still trying to figure out when to do my readings and things for my homework, amongst other things, and the things that my friends said in their cards to me were sweet words of love and encouragement that I needed. I'm so grateful for their examples to me, and for their love. Yesterday was an amazing day because of my friends and family, and I'm so grateful for all of the people in my life. <3 <3

The Priesthood, motherhood, marriage, and family.

I've been thinking a lot today about what I want to post today. 

And I got my idea today during sacrament meeting. 

I was watching the young men in my ward pass the sacrament to the congregation, and I was thinking about how grateful I am that the young men in my ward are worthy priesthood holders, and how reverently they pass the sacrament each week. They have the power of God, and they use it reverently and respectfully.  I'm grateful that I have worthy priesthood holders in my life that I can turn to for blessings, and for help.

During this time, I was also thinking about the ordain women movement, and how I don't understand why those women want the priesthood because women have an important power from God, too: the power to create and bear life. The power of creation is a God-like power, and that sacred power was given to women–women are able to bear bodies for the spirit children of God. And then I was thinking of this scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 4:5-6: "And faith, hope, charity, and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work. Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence." And as I remembered this scripture, I was thinking of all of the wonderful mothers in my life that I look up to and love, and who display these attributes: my mom, my aunts, my grandmother, and several of my friends (like all of my past Young Women leaders, a few of the girls that I looked up to when I was a new Beehive, and others that I could name specifically but I won't because I don't want to be weird. Plus it would take too much time. Let's just say I have a lot of friends that are moms and I love them to death). Motherhood is a sacred calling and these women fulfill it in their own ways but they each do it beautifully. I'm grateful for their examples of charity, love, and how to be a good mother. 

Men and women both have different roles in Heavenly Father's plan, but that doesn't mean that they are not equal. Their roles are different, yes, but that does not mean that one is more or less important than the other. Men and women have to work together. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it says, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." Men and women both have different roles to fulfill, but they work together, and are equals in marriage.

I am so grateful for the wonderful examples in my life that show me what a marriage should be like, and I'm so grateful for the temple, in which families can be sealed together forever. I'm grateful that my parents were sealed together and that I get to be with my family forever, and I'm looking forward to the day when I can be sealed to my future husband and we can start our own family together.

Gratitude for leaders and seminary graduation.

Today all of the Laurels went to Relief Society for third hour, and Kelsie and Savanah and I all received a gift from our Young Women leaders–and also one from the Relief Society–because we're graduating. In the notebook from our Young Women leaders, there were notes from a bunch of the leaders that we've had, and I'm so grateful for their words of love and encouragement. They said many things that I needed to hear. I'm so grateful to have been able to get to know these women!! I love them all so much and I'm so grateful that I have been able to learn from them. I have grown so much in this gospel and I know that a lot of it was because of all of my leaders. I'd love to thank them for everything!! <3 <3


P.S. That ^^ was from earlier today--about noonish. Now, I'm officially graduated from seminary!!! Yay!! One graduation down, and one to go! I received so many things today: the notebook with a necklace from my YW's leaders, the pack of notepads from the Relief Society, my seminary diploma, and I also got another necklace with my diploma. It's so cute! It says my name, 2015, and "Doubt not fear not" and has a little key, a little book, and a little stone. I'm so grateful for everyone that has helped me get me to where I am today. I would not be here if it wasn't for my leaders, for my seminary teachers, and for my school teachers. I have learned so much about this gospel and about the world. I know that this next step might be a little challenging, getting used to it, but I know that it will be worth it, and I know that I can do it with the help of my Heavenly Father.

Today is a special day.

Hello, nonexistent followers who may one day be actual real-live people. Today, seventeen years ago, a most wonderful, spunky, funny, beautiful daughter of God came to this world. Her name was Mattie Ruth Radke. Yep, folks, that's right. Today is my birthday!! I'm seventeen. I have learned so, so, so much in the past seventeen years about who I am as a person, who I am as a daughter of God, and who I want to be. I am so thankful for the example of my Saviour, Jesus Christ, and for everything He and my Heavenly Father have done for me. I am so thankful for all of the people in my life who are great examples to me and who have taught me so much about life, and living, and all the fun stuff that is weird and random. I'm so thankful for all the people who put up with me and pretend to understand what I'm talking about. :) I'm so thankful for the opportunity I have to communicate with people and spread the gospel. I'm thankful that I'm always so happy. Love you all! 

Love,

Mattie-Who-Is-Now-Seventeen :)

People.

16th: I'm grateful for my parents. They're good examples to me and they love me no matter what. So I'm grateful that I have good parents. 

10th and 7: I'm grateful for friends. Yes, I know I've said this before, but my friends are awesome. They listen to me when I need them to and they're there for me when I need a shoulder to cry/lean on. So I'm thankful for understanding and loving friends. 

Eighteenth: I'm grateful for my teachers. Yes, I know I've said this one before, too, but I really am. I'm grateful that I have understanding teachers and I'm grateful for their help and influence. So I'm grateful for some FABULOUS teachers. :)

Leaders and teachers.

Letter J: I'm grateful for my leaders and teachers. They are such good examples to me, and I want to be like them. They have wonderful stories that teach me lessons and I'm so grateful for their examples and advice. They are just so amazing and I love them. So I'm grateful for people that are strong in the gospel in my life and influence my life for good. 

Gratitude.

Okay, so I'm six days late for starting the gratitude thing. But I figured better late than never, right? So I'll just start with six things/people I'm grateful for and why. Here we go:

Number one: I'm grateful for the gospel. Without it, I don't know where I'd be, or where I'd be going, and why I am here. So I am grateful for the knowledge and light that it brings to my life.

Little b: I'm grateful for music. It keeps me strong, and with it I can express myself in any way that I choose. So I am grateful for the talents in music that I have and the opportunities I have to share my talents/testimony with others.

Third: I'm grateful for my family. I really am. I learn a lot from them, like what not to do. So I am grateful that they aren't all crazy psychopaths. ;)

iv: I'm grateful for my friends. They are all such wonderful examples to me and they inspire me. I learn a lot from them, too, but usually for good. So I am grateful that I have friends who share the same beliefs as me. 

Big E: I'm grateful for my teachers. They are all amazing examples and I look up to them. So I am grateful for teachers who care. 

There you go. Six things I am thankful for. I'll be back tomorrow (hopefully) with anther one. But in the meantime, remember this: God made you special, and He loves you very much. Goodbye!

(Yes, that line was from VeggieTales. No, I am not ashamed.) 

He knows.

I realized today during sacrament meeting that The Lord knows who I'm going to be, and where I'm going to go. I realized that He puts people, and experiences, and knowledge in our lives that we will need to know when we become who we were supposed to become. I'm going to be a mother, and He gave me siblings that are very rowdy, so that I can learn patience. He gave me siblings that get hurt often so that I can learn medicine-y, heal-y type things. He gave me musical talents that I love to share so that I am able to share the gospel through them. He gave me a big heart, so that I have enough room to love all my friends, leaders, teachers, and families. He gave me amazing examples in my life so that I know what I can have. He gave me a craving for a better life, so that I can want what I can have. He gave me a desire to be the best me that I can be. And I love Him every day, all the time, and I'm grateful for that every day, all the time. 

A glimpse to a piece of my heart.

I don't know what to say. I'm tired and really hating homework. School would be perfect if there was no (or a very, very small amount of homework) homework at all. The cultural event is coming along nicely. I think it's going a lot smoother than the other one. The other one was great, too, but this one is going smoother. I'm super excited!! Some purple things that I love: my new portable charger that's being kind of whacko, my new purple shoes, my purple shirts, my new purple iPod case, and my purple glasses!! :) I love purple with all...well...most of my heart. The rest of it belongs to The Lord. I am trying my very best to be what the Savior wants me to be, and what He knows I can be, along with along leaders and friends, and teachers. Especially the ones that have changed my life forever. I never would have made it to this point in my life without them. And that's why I talk about people often. Because they are forever engraved in my heart. And I never, never want to forget them, or what they've done for me.