He answers privately.

Happy November! Can you believe it is November already?? How time flies! Ricky and I have been married now for just over five months and I can't even believe we are going to have been married for six months later this month! I was just thinking earlier today about how next month, it will be one year from the day that Ricky proposed! I can't even believe it. Time is flying by, and yet, it is going by so slowly at the same time.

I am grateful for the beautiful and wondrous world that we live in. I am grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord, and for His hand in my life. I am grateful for the blessings of the priesthood, and for the miracles that they can bring into our lives.

This week was one of the weirdest weeks, I think, for many personal reasons. But it was also one that reminded me of how blessed I am. I have had several headaches this week, and it hasn't been pleasant. But I am grateful for my husband, who has been my rock this week. He has given me a blessing, helped me with dinners, dressed up with me for Halloween, and has let me take my afternoons and evenings to work on my crafting projects as needed/wanted. He has let me rest when I needed it, and has cuddled with me when I needed it. I couldn't have asked for a better partner. He is always wanting to make sure that I am taken care of, and I am so grateful for his love and concern.

I have been watching The Chosen recently–a TV show based on the life of Jesus Christ. It is an amazing show and I highly recommend it. Today, I watched an episode that reminded me just how much our Savior loves and cares for each of us. One of Jesus' apostles, Simon, is married, and his wife's mother (his mother-in-law) has been sick, and came to stay with them. However, Simon is now a follower of Jesus, and has been traveling with Him. Simon is very worried about his wife and his mother-in-law, and how they will fare while he is out traveling with Jesus. Jesus takes time from their journey to visit Simon's wife, and address her concerns. He also takes time to heal her mother, so that Simon doesn't have to worry about them while he is out on the road. 

This episode made me emotional, as it was a reminder to me that Jesus knows our situation; He knows what we need. In life, we need to go through trials, and sometimes we might feel lost, alone, or afraid. Our Heavenly Father and Savior know what we are going through, and They know what we need. While we may not always have our trials and problems solved or erased, He blesses us and gives us peace and comfort in our trials. While our trials might not always be seen by others, they are very real to us, and I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who knows exactly how I feel, and who knows how to comfort me. I am so grateful that He answers ME. He can and does speak to ME. I am grateful for this knowledge and for the connection that I feel to Him. 

I am grateful for my sweet, loving, sensitive husband, who only wants me to be happy. I love his kind and caring heart, and I love that he is always willing to serve me, and to make sure that I am happy and comfortable.

I am grateful for a compassionate and empathetic Savior, who knows exactly how I am feeling, and who knows what I need. I am grateful that He listens to my prayers, and that He not only knows how to comfort me, but sends His Spirit, as well as any angels (on this side of the veil or the other) to help bring me solace. I love this beautiful version of two of my favorite hymns, Where Can I Turn for Peace? and Be Still, My Soul. Calee Reed is one of my favorite Christian artists, and her music always brings the Spirit in such beautiful ways. I hope that this song touches you and brings you any needed peace, comfort, and love.

I hope you have a wonderful week! God is so good.

Xoxo

Mattie

Life is a Garden.

The days go by so quickly! It's already October 25th, 2020! Here's a few fun facts:

Somehow, Ricky and I:

-Have known each other for 1 year, 2 months, and 15 days

-Were officially dating for 3 months and 24 days before we were engaged (but we had known each other for 4 months and 4 days by that time)

-Were engaged for 5 months and 6 days

-Have now been married for 5 months and 5 days

-Have been on two family road trips (just us) to Southern Utah

-Have lived in two different apartments together

-Have been on a countless number of dates

-Have been to the temple together (including just walking around outside) about 10 times (that's almost once a month! Woo! Go us!)

-Have had 442 days (i.e. 1 year, 2 months, 15 days) of endless adventures and conversations

-Have both given and received countless hugs and kisses

Sometimes it doesn't seem real! It's so crazy to me that a year ago we were just dating! I loved being with Ricky and I didn't want it to ever end! I was so, so happy when he proposed to me! It was the best day of my life up to that point! I am so grateful that our wedding day (which is now the best day of my life) was absolutely perfect and went smoothly! 

We have learned a lot in our time being married. We've learned it's important to communicate. It's important to work together. It's important to love and support each other through all of the ups and downs. It's important to support each other's hobbies. We've learned it's important to put our relationship and the Lord first, before anything else. If we do that, everything else will start falling into place. 

“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”

—F. Burton Howard (“Eternal Marriage,” Ensign, May 2003, 94.)

“Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have.”

—Gordon B. Hinckley

(“This I Believe,” address at Brigham Young University, March 1, 1992.)

I love these two quotes about marriage! I believe them with my whole heart! What Ricky and I have is special, and is something to be treasured. Our marriage is a budding seed. We have to tend to it–we have to water it, make sure it gets enough words of LOVE, and that it gets enough sunlight! (It's true! Plants grow better with words of love and encouragement)

God is the Gardener of our souls. Sometimes, He cuts us down so we can regrow in new and better ways.

“God uses another form of chastening or correction to guide us to a future we do not or cannot now envision but which He knows is the better way for us. President Hugh B. Brown, formerly a member of the Twelve and a counselor in the First Presidency, provided a personal experience. He told of purchasing a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:

“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”

President Brown replied, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.’”

Years later, President Brown was a field officer in the Canadian Army serving in England. When a superior officer became a battle casualty, President Brown was in line to be promoted to general, and he was summoned to London. But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon. The commanding general said in essence, “You deserve the appointment, but I cannot give it to you.” What President Brown had spent 10 years hoping, praying, and preparing for slipped through his fingers in that moment because of blatant discrimination. Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:

“I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, ‘How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?’ I was as bitter as gall.

“And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, ‘I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.’ The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness. …

“… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’”” ("As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten", D. Todd Christofferson)

I love this story. It's beautiful, poignant, and can apply to each and every one of us at many different stages in our lives. I think that we can apply this to our marriage. It is going to stretch us in many, many different ways, and we are going to have to be cut down sometimes in order for us to change and grow. I am so grateful to be married to Ricky, and to get to walk through this life with him. I hope that we will be able to say, "Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting us down, and for loving us enough to make sure that we have the opportunities to grow."

I love God, I love my husband, I love this beautiful world we live in. I am grateful for the temples, for eternal marriage, and for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through which we have the opportunity to be resurrected and be able to live with our families forever. 

I hope everyone has a great week! It's Halloween this week, so have fun and be safe if you're going to be trick or treating!

Xoxo

Mattie

Christlike in marriage.

 Happy four months to my sweet husband!

As of today, we have officially been married for four months, and I can honestly say life is better with Ricky than without. There are lots of ups and downs, and there are moments when we do not agree on things, but we are learning. We are learning how to compromise, how to love each other, how to bless each other, and how to be more Christlike. 

We were watching Beauty and the Beast (2017) yesterday, and–during the scene where the Wardrobe was helping Belle with her dress–as I was mentally admiring Belle's beautiful dress, I said, "I wish I was a princess," and Ricky said, "Why do you think I make you dinner every other night?" And that is my husband, ladies and gentleman. He is such a blessing to me, and I am so grateful for him.  🥰💜

We are both still learning things about each other, and while it can be hard some days, at the end of the day, he is my best friend, my person, my love, and my HOME. With him, I am comfortable. I'm not afraid to speak my mind–but I do need to work on attitude and tone. With him, I am honest. I tell him every day how I feel about him–I say, "I love you" probably about 20,000 times a day. With him, I am true. Sometimes he gets my jokes, and sometimes he doesn't–but I make the jokes anyway because it fits the moment. With him, I am myself. There are days when I just need to cry, and he holds me and lets me cry. And in those moments, life is perfect. Because I am with my husband, being vulnerable, and he is with me, being loving and supportive. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other day, I posted on my Facebook page something that I wanted to share here. The link to the post is here. But I also wanted to post the picture and words here, just because I am proud of them:

I’m grateful for beauty, grace, mercy, love, and kindness. I watched the 2015 version of Cinderella tonight and was reminded of the beauty that is Lily James’ version of Cinderella. The movie is beautiful, cinematographically, as well as story-wise. It is absolutely one of my favorites and I will never get tired of watching it. 

The quote said by Ella’s mother towards the beginning of the movie is one of my favorites, and I LOVE how Ella exemplifies it throughout the movie. She is full of grace and beauty, as well as kindness. I believe she is so Christlike and loving in this rendition. 

We must have courage and be kind, even when others are not being kind. We must have courage and be loving, even when others are not. 

Love is the answer to all of the problems in this world, I know it. Love and kindness. 💜

Happy Sabbath Day, friends and family! God loves you, and I do too! I hope you all have a blessed week. I am looking forward to this week, as I should be able to start working on other projects besides "cleaning and organizing my house". I'm excited to start decorating, and to finish my curtains projects, and to start my refinishing furniture projects. It's going to take me a few weeks, I'm sure, but I am excited to move into this next chapter of projects!

Xoxo

Mattie

Building a foundation on Christ.

Hello, hello!

I don't know what happened, but at some point, I became more busy and less consistent with my blogging on Sundays. It may have something to do with the fact that Church isn't going as normal. Or the fact that we are in a pandemic. I'm not sure. Either way, I'm trying my very hardest to get back into the habit, because it is one of my favorite Sunday activities.

This week has been a busy week for our little family! We have started to move into our new place, and I am so excited!! We will hopefully be all moved in by Tuesday, so keep your fingers crossed things go the way we need them to! I am looking forward to being able to unpack in our new place and getting to make it "home". 

We also were able to celebrate Ricky's birthday yesterday! Even though we are in a pandemic, I tried to make it fun. I got him some movies, a book, lots of popcorn, and an outdoor game set. I baked a really cool cake, and made a really yummy favorite of his, chicken casserole. :)

We are blessed. Ricky hasn't been feeling well lately, and was fortunately able to get paid time off from work for several days. I am hopeful that he will be feeling better by the end of the week, because I have been making sure he has been getting lots of rest. :) 

Helaman 5:12 "And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

I love this scripture! I am so grateful for the reminder that when we trust in the Lord, and build upon Him, that we cannot fall. This works in all aspects of our lives, but since getting married, I have discovered that it is ever more important to build your foundation (of marriage) upon Christ. Life isn't easier when you build your foundation on Christ, but with Him, life is more bearable. Together, my husband and I–with the Lord at our side–together we can move forward in life knowing that God will bless and guide us. 💜

I know that we are in crazy times right now, but I also know that God is at the help, and as we put our trust and faith in Him, things will work out. Hope everyone has a great week! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

Lessons in love.

It's been awhile since I last updated! In that time, I have married my best friend for time and all eternity in the temple, vacationed in St. George for a few days, dreaded going back to work because it meant I wasn't spending all my time with my husband, gone back to work, had to start working from home again, taken a trip to Moab, and started looking for a new apartment and job. It's been kind of crazy and hectic but fun!! 

Our Wedding Day – May 20, 2020

While we have been married for a short time, I have learned so much already about marriage. There are many difficult things about marriage–far more than I had anticipated–but there are also many wonderful and glorious things about marriage.

I have learned that there are lots of tiny little things that your spouse does that can be considered nuisances that will drive you insane.
But there are TONS of tiny little things that your spouse does that are sweet acts of service and love that will fill your cup to the brim.

I have learned that sometimes you will be doing all that you can do, and it will still not be enough for your spouse.
But there will be one thing that you do that will mean the world to your spouse each and every day.

I have learned that some days, you will be so busy that you and your spouse will hardly see each other.
But there will be a moment where your spouse will send you a sweet "I'm-thinking-of-you" text that makes your day.

I have learned that there will be times when you both want to do completely different activities and neither of you wants to give in.
But then you both decide on something else to do that day and agree to do the other activities at a different time.

I have learned that there will be moments when you both need some time by yourself to collect your thoughts because you have completely different views on a topic and discussing it together can be emotional.

I have learned that living with another person who does things differently than you do is HARD.

Especially when they've been on their own for years and don't always think about things in the long run the way that you do. Especially when they are always wanting to be outside more than inside. Especially when they want to stay up later and sleep in later than you. And especially when you feel like everything that you’re doing to be a good spouse isn’t enough. 

That’s what makes it hard.

But then he drives you home from the dentist and takes care of you while you’re not feeling well and he whispers sweet things to you before bed and he kisses your forehead and he makes you breakfast and he takes a couple days where he gets up early to take you to work because he needs the car later and doesn’t even want anything in return and he helps you fold the laundry and do the dishes all without asking and he helps you make dinner and it’s like—I couldn’t have asked for anything better. 💜

I have learned that God is in the details of our lives. I am blessed with the greatest husband who is always trying to put me ahead of him, and he is always thinking about our future. I am grateful for the hard worker that he is, and for the acts of love and service that he is always doing for me and for others.

I have learned that the words our prophets and apostles and have spoken in the past and recent years about marriage are TRUE.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, "marriage 'will be the most important decision of your life. … Marry the right person in the right place at the right time.'"

The decision to get married was the most important decision of my life at that point, but I have come to realize that following getting married, the decision to love and choose my husband every day is the most important decision I make. And it's the easiest decision I make every day.

In the Gospel Topics section on marriage, it says, "Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither person exercising dominion over the other, but with each encouraging, comforting, and helping the other." I love this! Marriage is about coming together, creating a new life, and being there for each other. 

Some days are HARD. Marriage is easily the best and hardest thing I've ever done. Combining our two lives together has been challenging some days. We both have different ideas on how to spend our Sundays, on bedtime routines, on morning routines, on after-work-routines...and it has been an adventure trying to learn and create a new routine together. One of the things I love about Ricky is that he is so selfless, and he wants to make sure that I am happy and comfortable. It's hard for me to get him to try and focus on himself–some days, I have to do it for him!

Most of all, I have realized that marriage is a lesson in love. I believe that there is a reason that Jesus Christ is the bridegroom, and the Church is the bride. Jesus wants to love and take care of us, but we have to be committed to Him, and we have to make sure that He is in the center of our lives. We covenant with Him to always remember Him, and to love God and our neighbor. When we keep our covenants with Him, we receive blessings. As I remember and keep the covenants and promises that I made to and with Ricky, I remember my covenants with my Father in Heaven, and how the covenants I made with Him, and then with Ricky and Him, go hand in hand. As I honor, love, and respect my husband, I can remember to honor, love, and respect my Heavenly Father and my Savior. 

In an Ensign article by Richard K. Hart entitled The Marriage Metaphor (which I highly recommend reading, as it gives more insight into why the metaphor of marriage is so important), he closes the article by saying, "The Bridegroom or the Lamb in the book of Revelation is the Bridegroom spoken of by Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Hosea and other prophets of the Old Testament. Those who covenant with the Bridegroom, and then remain faithful to those covenants, will be prepared to receive great blessings at the wedding, the second coming of the Bridegroom."

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, who has blessed us in our marriage and efforts. I am grateful for loving and supportive friends and family, who have helped Ricky and I in this transition phase of our life. I am grateful for my husband, who has shown so much selfless love towards me. I am grateful for his kindness, tenderness, thoughtfulness, and his sense of humor. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Please be cautious and safe during this uncertain time. God loves you, and I do too. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Blessed to love and be loved.

Today is Sunday May 17, 2020, and today is also my last Sunday as an unmarried woman, because I am marrying my best friend in 3 days!!!

This has been a long road, full of loneliness at times, as well as heartache. But I was blessed with amazing friends, mentors, leaders, and a loving Savior and Father in Heaven to guide me along my journey in life. Ricky came into my life unexpectedly, but he was a fresh drink of water. He was just what I needed at that moment in life, and then I realized that I didn't want to live my life without him. Luckily, he realized he didn't want to live his life without me, either. 💜

We are so excited to begin our life together!!! I am so excited to go on adventures with him and to create our life together! I fall more in love with him every day and I am so grateful to be able to keep falling in love with him every day!

Though our wedding planning experience hasn't been what we had expected, it has helped me remember to focus on Ricky and I, and the covenants and promises that we will be making with and to each other and Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for Ricky's tenderness, his kind heart, his compassionate nature, his respectful attitude, and his sweet love towards me. He is a wonderful example to me of being Christlike, and I am SO blessed to be able to love (and be loved by) him!

We are two different people, with two completely different life experiences, and we won't always see eye to eye about things, but I always want to share my life with him. 💜

I am so grateful for the amazing examples of loving and healthy relationships in my life that I have to look up to. My grandparents, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my friends, and all of the General Authorities. The love that they have for, and how they talk about, their wives, is SO sweet, and I hope that Ricky and I will talk about each other like that in the future. 

In a BYU Devotional given by Elder Richard G. Scott in 2010 entitled, To Have Peace and Happiness, he says:

"Pure love is an incomparable, potent power for good. Righteous love is the foundation of a successful marriage. It is the primary cause of contented, well-developed children. Who can justly measure the righteous influence of a mother’s love? What enduring fruits will result from the seeds of truth that you as a mother can carefully plant and lovingly cultivate in the fertile soil of your own child’s trusting mind and heart? As a mother, you have been given divine instincts to help you sense your child’s special talents and unique capacities. With your husband, you can nurture, strengthen, and cause those traits to flower.
[...]
In closing I share an eternal principle that will assure you of a rich, purposeful life whether you are single or married. I have found that the best way to live life is to seek to know the will of the Lord as guided by the Holy Spirit. He knows what is best for you. As you are obedient and exercise faith in Him, He will help you realize His will for you in your life. May the Lord inspire, guide, and richly bless each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

I am so grateful for the loving and sweet examples of the prophets and apostles on how to love your spouse. I am looking forward to growing spiritually with Ricky as we move forward in our lives together. He is such a blessing in my life, and I hope that I can be a blessing to him, too.

We will be having a virtual wedding via Zoom! If you would like to celebrate with us, please let me know and I will send the link to you.

I hope you all have an exciting week! I know I will! I'm getting married and then going to St. George with my HUSBAND!!! I am so blessed to love him and to be loved by him!

God loves you and has amazing plans in store for you! You are wonderful, amazing, and loved by so many!

Xoxo
Mattie

Striving.

I am so grateful for this past year! 2019 was a year to remember!

Long story short:

• I went through the temple for the first time.
• I graduated from Brigham Young University with my Bachelor of Science degree in Family Life with an emphasis in Human Development in June.
• I started my first official full-time job after graduation.
• I went to New York for almost two weeks in July.
• I met (mid-August), started dating (later-August), and got engaged (December) to my now fiancé!

It was a wild year but it was full of blessings!

2020 will be a blast! I will spend the first half of the year planning my WEDDING!!! And the second half of the year married to my sweetheart. I am so excited!!!

I learned so much in 2019! Here are 19 things I learned in 2019:

1. I learned that God is always near. I went through the temple for the first time and that opened my eyes to many more revelations than ever before. I have gone back almost every month, I think, and sometimes more than once a week! I hope to keep that tradition alive this year as well!
2. I learned that things happen for a reason, and sometimes we will never know why. Sometimes we might look and look and search and search for answers, but nothing will come of it. That is okay.
3. I learned that the future can be intimidating, but you just need to jump right in! The water might be startling at first, but you will quickly grow accustomed to the change and ready to move ahead.
4. I learned that you can do all the research you want, but nothing can prepare you for any mishaps you were unable to foresee when planning a trip to New York with your friend. So sometimes you will have to make an adventure out of said mishap.
5. I learned that your happiness is only yours to give and take away. No one can make you happy or sad. It is your choice and yours alone. 
6. I learned that things aren’t always what they seem, and sometimes when you go after what you think you want, you come to realize it isn’t actually what you want. 
7. I learned that no one is perfect, but that the right people will love you for who you are anyway. 
8. I learned that the people you can always count on are the ones you can always be real with. 
9. I learned that the blessings of the temple and the blessings of the scriptures go hand in hand. 
10. I learned that it’s more important to be loved than to be right. 
11. I learned that if you put in the work, you can do it all with the help of the Lord. 
12. I learned that life isn’t really a timeline. There aren’t really milestones or anything. Nothing happens for everyone in the exact same way. 
13. I learned that I can get really upset over stupid things because of my anxiety and depression. But I also learned that because of my anxiety and depression, I can get over said stupid things. It might take me longer than I’d like, or than other people can comprehend, and sometimes I might still be upset, but on the whole, I can heal from it in time. 
14. I learned that God and I had two different plans for the year 2019, but ultimately, His was better. 
15. I learned that nothing could prepare me for realizing that who I am now is only a small part of who I really am. 
16. I learned that I can do more. I am capable of being more. 
17. I learned that faith in God is more important than anything–even when I struggle with having faith in Him. And that Jesus Christ is always there for me. Even when I can’t see or feel Him. 
18. I learned that Satan will try to stop you when you are going in the right direction and making the right decisions. It will seem impossible, but God will bless you and help you through it. 
19. I learned that God has blessed my life in the last decade with more than I ever thought possible. I am especially grateful for this last year, and for the next chapter in my life. 

I have a few major goals I want to focus on this year, and I am so pumped!

1. I am going to strive to read and study my scriptures every day–I recently got a Book of Mormon Come Follow Me journal to take notes in, so I would like to fill it up this year!

2. I am going to strive to attend the temple every other week. 

3. I am going to strive to choose to be happy.

This year, I wanted to make my goals SMART goals. SMART goals are:

The last couple of weeks, as I've read the scriptures, and as I have listened in Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting, I've noticed the mention of "striving" in the scriptures. And I have decided that I want "strive/striving" to be my word for 2020.

I want to strive to make the most of what I have been given this year. I want to strive to be the Mattie that I used to be a long time ago. She was always so happy and joyful. She's still in there somewhere. I want to pull her back out. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful new year and a wonderful week this week!

Xoxo

Mattie