Keep walking towards the Light–even when you can't see it.

I can't believe that it's November already! October just flew by! I am excited for the holidays! Thanksgiving and Christmas are two of my favorite holidays and they are next! And Frozen II comes out this month!!

This week, I've really been focusing on reading the Book of Mormon every day, and on working on my patience and my temper. Even though I wasn't perfect at it every day, I did make some progress, and I am grateful for the blessings that I saw in my life this week through my study of the Book of Mormon. I hope that I can be a bit better about my study this week, and that I can see some more improvement and blessings this week because of it.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to the temple, and I stayed longer than I normally do, but it was a blessing. I didn't really get a prompting or anything. Sitting there in the temple I just felt such peace. That wasn't the answer that I was looking for, really, but my friend said, "Maybe that is your answer", and I think she's right. I'll keep studying, pondering, and praying, but I will also move forward with faith. And if I need a little correction here and there, I know that God will direct me.

Today was Stake Conference for my stake. I really, really loved it!!

President Wilson talked about The Book of Mormon!! Which I thought was so cool since I've started rereading The Book of Mormon lately. He talked about how our testimony and relationship with Heavenly Father are tender. They are personal, and sweet, and between our Father in Heaven and us. He also talked about how we need to turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart and serve Him.

Sister Christofferson talked about how the Lord loves us so much! And she talked about how those who are called to minister (us) are part of the most important work. She talked about a meeting with some of the leaders of the Church, and she said that Sister Bonnie H. Cordon said that, "When you minister, don't try to impress them. Bless them." I loved that! Sometimes it's hard to just be there for someone, and to bless their lives. Sometimes you just want to give a big gesture to show how much you care for them. But you don't need to do it. You just need to bless them. Sister Christofferson said that sometimes it takes courage and love to minister others.

Bishop Shepherd talked about how we need to keep walking towards the Light–walking towards our Savior. Even when we can't see the Light. And even when we can't see our Savior.

Sister Freestone (the new matron of the Provo Temple) talked about how we need to make and keep sacred covenants. She asked a question: Do you know how much the Lord loves you? She just talked about His love for us, and how He loves us in such a personal and unique way.

President Freestone (the new president of the Provo Temple) talked about how we have divine origins, and how our Father in Heaven loves us. He talked about ways that we can come to know that our Father in Heaven really loves us:

1. Focus on the Savior, and make Him the central part of your life.
2. Take the Holy Spirit as your guide. Seek for things that invite the Spirit and avoid things that drive the Spirit away. We need to desire the Holy Ghost so much that we are acting in such a way that He can reside in and with us. 
3. Come to the temple often. The ordinances of the temple provide the greatest blessings in life.

Sister Wright talked about how we all have something in our lives that is broken, and needs to be mended and healed. She also talked about how we can fix whatever it is with Him.

Sister Christensen talked about the question, "How can I have the Atonement in my life daily?" There are a few things that she said we can do to have the Atonement in our lives daily:

1. We need to understand who the Savior is, and who we are.
2. We need to seek the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost.
3. We need to understand that we need a Savior–for help in all things.

Elder Craig C. Christensen of the Seventy said that he goes through the temple questions each week. I think that this is a great idea and I am going to try it this week. That was just a small part of what he talked about. He talked about the difference between testimony and conversion. A testimony is knowing what is true. Conversion is living true to what you know to be true. Conversion is a process. 

Christ's life was never about Him. He was always focused on others. His outward service is a great example to us of how we can live our lives.

I am grateful for the messages of Stake Conference and for the chance that I had to attend the temple yesterday. I am grateful for the full-time senior missionaries in my stake who contacted me this last week and met with me today. They were so sweet and had such a great message for me.

I hope everyone has a fantastic week! It's the month of gratitude! Find something you're grateful for every day! God loves you and I love you too!

Xoxo
Mattie

New understandings.

Can't believe this week IS IT! This is my LAST WEEK OF COLLEGE!

This week, I have been struggling to focus on school. I'm just so ready to be done and I am very anxious for my finals. But I think that everything will be okay in the end.

I did a lot of pondering during church today. It was pretty therapeutic, and I am grateful for some of the thoughts that I had.

My life is my life, and God has a unique plan for me.

There was this quote that I saw on Facebook that I loved:

I had never thought about it in that way before. There are things I need to learn right now...and I need to learn them by myself. As I am waiting, I can learn to have more faith. I can have a stronger character. And I can keep hoping. It's so hard sometimes. It's really hard, actually. Sometimes I'm okay with life...and sometimes I get really sad about it. It's hard to remember that my worth is constant, and solely based on the fact that I am a child of God. It's hard to remember that I am a PERSON first. It's hard to see what kinds of things I might need to learn right now. It's hard to see what kinds of things I have to give to the world. 

It's also sometimes hard to remember I don't need to have anything specific to be happy. I get to CHOOSE whether or not I am happy every day. I need to remember to turn to my Savior and lean on Him. And sometimes it's difficult. My depression and anxiety don't always help. I think that I need to focus on my testimony right now. And my mental health. It is okay for me to feel sad. But I can't let it overwhelm me. I can't let my sadness get to me. I have to be patient. 

It's kinda funny...right as I was writing about having to be patient, the second speaker in sacrament meeting was starting his talk, which was about...PATIENCE. 

While he was talking, I kept thinking about a lot of different things that I need to work on. I think that I need to gain a new understanding of patience and work on it. I also need to figure out what "trusting the Lord" means to me. 

One important thing that I was thinking about was how I need to make time to go to the temple each week. I can't not go. It drives me crazy when I don't go. I receive more peace, understanding, and blessings when I go and I am able to realign my views on life. I know that this will bless me because when I was going every week earlier this year, my life was better. My life is better with the Gospel–it's better with the temple, and it's better with the Lord.

I'm very excited to be done with school this week! I am excited to begin working full-time at the daycare! I love the kiddos so much and am so grateful for all the things that they teach me! 

Happy Sunday! Have a great week! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

God blessed the broken road.

I am feeling so grateful and blessed! It has been quite a week! What with feeling pumped from conference, getting a bunch of calls from places that I applied to, getting 1st place at the BYU Fulton Conference in the college of Family Life, to getting A JOB FOR AFTER GRADUATION! I am so excited for it! I can't believe my dreams are coming true! I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father! I know that He has been blessing me lately, even when I couldn't always see it. I am thankful for the confirmation from Him that this is what He wants me to do.

Yesterday I went to the temple and I ran into two friends and it was so nice to see them! I also was able to really just feel the Spirit, and feel confirmation and peace about the things that I have planned for the future.

I absolutely LOVED the talks in sacrament meeting today! Sarah talked a lot about personal revelation, spiritual experiences, and gaining a testimony. My favorite thing that she talked about was how mental health, spirituality, and revelation go hand-in-hand. Sometimes your body can't receive revelation and you think that God isn't talking to you but that's not true. He is always there and He is always speaking to you. I really loved it because I've felt like God isn't speaking to me, and looking back, it's been in the past few years...which is when my mental health took a decline. So my body wasn't capable of receiving revelation...because my mind was sick. Once Sarah put that thought into words, things made a lot more sense.

In Relief Society today we talked about what we loved about conference. I loved what someone said she got from conference...She said, "Don't judge...just help each other and do your best." I love this because I got a similar message from conference. I got a message of love, service, and just trying your best.

Someone said, "Everything makes sense with the gospel because everything is because of the gospel." I loved that. Life is made easier with the gospel–with Christ–because everything is because of the gospel, and because of Christ. When my life is centered in Christ, and in the gospel, everything makes sense. I might not always understand what's going on, but I know that, no matter what, He is with me, and He loves me.

One of the last things we were talking about was how we should step forward and trust the Lord. Take His promptings for you and show Him that you trust Him. I really feel like I have been trying to do this lately. I have been trying to show Him that I trust Him. I realized that I needed to choose. I needed to make a decision about where I wanted to go. I had been asking and asking Heavenly Father to help guide me to making the decision...but I wasn't getting an answer. I felt like He was silent...but looking back, His silence was the answer. He left the decision up to me. So when I finally made a decision...I told Him if He didn't approve of my decision, He'd have to be very obvious in letting me know that He had a different idea for me. And He paved the way for me to get the job, so I knew that He approved of my choice.

I am very blessed and grateful for so many things that I have been blessed with...the blessing of music, the blessing of family, the blessing of love, the blessing of revelation, and the blessing of peace. I am so grateful for loving friends who are always willing to lend a helping hand and a listening ear.

I know that things happen for a reason, and I know that God has led me to today, and to this job. I am so grateful for the chance I have to be a part of something that I love and something that inspires me. I am so excited for the future and for the next adventures of my life! I am grateful that my Heavenly Father is so loving and kind. I am grateful that He is always there for me and that He supports me in all of my endeavors and dreams.

Xoxo
Mattie

From draining to uplifting.

I've had an insane week. In all aspects of the word. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It's been DRAINING. I've been stressed about a lot of things, including a prompting that I received last week. But I have done so much this week to try and receive answers.

On Friday I went to see my therapist and we discussed a lot about how I feel very much like there are too many paths for me to choose from. But after much discussion, it clarified that Heavenly Father is there to guide me. When I make choices, I can tell Him the choice I made and ask Him for guidance. He can't make the choice for me, and I knew that, but sometimes I think I forget that just having a bunch of different "maybes" isn't making a choice.

Yesterday I went to the temple with a friend and ran into more friends at the temple. It was an amazing experience and I am so grateful that I was able to go. It brought peace to my life to be at the temple, and it led me to more answers. It also confirmed that I needed to make a choice. 

So today I made a decision. I made a decision as to what I'm going to do and I asked Heavenly Father to let me know if that wasn't what He wanted for me. So I'm waiting for confirmation of my decision but in the meantime, I am not going to worry about any of the other paths–I'm going to focus on finishing school and graduating, as well as focusing on the parts of my decision that I can do right now. So I'm going to keep looking for full-time job opportunities and I'm going to keep reading my scriptures and going to the temple and I'm going to try to gain as much spiritual growth as I can. 

Four Blessings of the Temple, by Harold Glen Clark:"First, the light and knowledge promised by the Father may come to us in the temple through the agency of the Holy Ghost. 
A second great blessing the temple offers us is instruction in the requirements of personal righteousness. 
A third blessing of the temple is that it serves as a place where we are taught our responsibility for others.
A fourth blessing of the temple is receiving the knowledge that we are a part of a great cause.”

So grateful for the love and peace that I have felt as I’ve read the scriptures and gone to the temple this semester––as well as my entire time here at BYU. It has been such a blessing for me and my testimony. Even though I have not always been the best at reading my scriptures or going to the temple as often as I would have liked, I tried my best and I know that Heavenly Father is proud of my efforts. I hope that I can continue to make Him proud as I move forward in my life trying to apply all the principles I’ve learned in my life and as I try to better myself each and every day. I am not perfect, so all I can do is try. And that is all that He asks of me.

I know that He loves me. I know that He sent His Son to die for us. I know that as I go to the temple regularly, I will gain more knowledge, peace, light, comfort, and instruction. I don’t know exactly what the future holds for me, but I know that God is going to be with me. 

Xoxo
Mattie

The touch of the Master's hand.

Going to the temple always brings blessings to my life. I am grateful for the time that I took to go to the temple yesterday. I received a lot of peace, and some answers, and I am just mainly very grateful for the love of my Father in Heaven. It has been quite a week, and though it didn't go the way that I wanted it to, I know that it went the way that it was supposed to. Though I don't know what the future holds in store for me, I know that as long as I take time to strengthen and develop my relationship with my Savior and my Heavenly Father, everything will eventually fall into place, and things will work out the way that they're supposed to. 

I am pretty sure that I received some revelation this weekend that is going to be challenging for me to follow. But that is the way that it is. Receiving revelation isn't always going to be comfortable. In fact, most of the time, it's not going to be comfortable at all. Change is HARD. Change can be painful. But He will help you find a way to achieve the change that you need to grow and progress and be better. 

Every week, I make mistakes, and every week I must try again. I am grateful for the love of a Savior who supports and sustains me when I am broken and unable to do so myself. Some days are harder than others, but as long as I have the support of my Savior and Heavenly Father, I will not fail. 

There is this poem that I LOVE and Kyle read it in sacrament meeting today, so I was thinking about it all day, and I wanted to share it with you. 

The Touch of the Master's Hand

~

'Twas battered and scarred,

And the auctioneer thought it

hardly worth his while

To waste his time on the old violin,

but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people", he cried,

"Who starts the bidding for me?"

"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"

"Two dollars, who makes it three?"

"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three,"

But, No,

From the room far back a gray bearded man

Came forward and picked up the bow,

Then wiping the dust from the old violin

And tightening up the strings,

He played a melody, pure and sweet

As sweet as the angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer

With a voice that was quiet and low,

Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"

As he held it aloft with its' bow.

"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"

"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"

"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,

Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,

But some of them cried,

"We just don't understand."

"What changed its' worth?"

Swift came the reply.

"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

"And many a man with life out of tune

All battered and bruised with hardship

Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd

Much like that old violin

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,

A game and he travels on.

He is going once, he is going twice,

He is going and almost gone.

But the Master comes,

And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,

The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought

By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.

- Myra Brooks Welch

The message of this poem is so beautiful. It's an analogy for us. We might seem, feel, or be broken, bruised, and worthless...but in the hands of our Father in Heaven, and in our Savior...we can become beautiful, whole, and priceless. It might seem like we are far beyond His reach, and that we can never return, and that we can never be whole or clean again, but that couldn't be further from the truth. It might take time, but He will tighten up our strings, tighten up our bow, and–if needed–restring and repair the violin and bow, and He will use us to make the most beautiful and mesmerizing melody. 

Kyle also said something that I absolutely loved...He said, "Where justice and mercy meet is the love of Christ." I loved that. The Atonement of Jesus Christ, and His love for us, is the balance of justice and mercy. He gave it all so that we could return to live with our Father in Heaven again. 

It isn't always easy to come back, but it is so easy to find Him. You just have to look. He is a part of our every day life and we shouldn't be afraid to look for Him. He is not just in our lives once every few pages. He's consistently there, and recognizing Him in our lives brings us joy. 

I know that God has touched my life in the most beautiful ways. I know that I haven't always done what He has wanted me to do...but He has blessed me anyway. As I have tried to live my life as He would have me do, I have felt His hand. I have felt His inspiration, and His loving touch. I have felt Him tighten my strings, and restring me when I was broken. I am practicing each week and He is tuning me up. He is preparing me for the final concert, and I know that with His help, I will be ready. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Mine is going to be long and very exhausting but I have faith that I can make it to the end! God loves you and so do I!

Xoxo

Mattie

I hope I make Him proud.

Yesterday I went to the temple with some friends and I was able to take some family names to do, and it was so special! One of the things that stood out to me as I was sitting there listening to the ordinance workers was how much God loves me and wants me to be the best that I can be. As I am honest, true, and faithful to my covenants, I will be blessed–in this life, and in the life to come. That fills me with such peace and comfort. Life might not always go how I want it to go, but I know that everything God has promised me will eventually be available to me.

One of the blessings of doing temple work for my own family names is that I am helping my own family to come closer to God, and to come closer to having the blessings of being sealed to our family forever. It is so inspiring to know that my family has waited a long time for the blessings of the temple–and I am the one who gets to help them receive those blessings! I know that they are grateful for the time I take to help them receive the blessings of the temple, and I am grateful for the opportunity I have to do their work for them. 

This is an older picture that I took of the Provo City Center temple last year, but it's one of my favorites. I really love this temple, and I am so grateful that I live so close. I haven't always been the best at going to the temple as often as I could be going, but I am wanting to do better, and I am trying to do better. I know that God blesses me as I take time from my busy schedule to go to the temple, and to do the work for those who cannot do it for themselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I don't always know what I believe. Sometimes I struggle with different things...but one thing that I know and that has never been something that I have doubted is my faith in my Savior and my Father in Heaven. No matter what goes on in life...no matter what I struggle with...They have always been there. I have always had my Savior with me, and I have always been able to count on my Father in Heaven. The most important thing to me is my relationship with Them. People come and go...sometimes people come into and out of my life faster than you can say, "Hello"...but Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father are always there. Their love for me, and Their trust and belief in me, is constant and enduring. It is never more clear to me than when I am in the temple.

I have been able to receive many answers and blessings through the temple, and because of my time in the temple. My day and week are blessed after I go to the temple. Answers that would just not come before...come after. Motivation that just would not come...comes. Stress that has been overwhelming...disappears. I know that I am blessed when I visit the house of the Lord. 

I know that I am not perfect...but I hope that what I offer to Heavenly Father is enough. I try to make a difference in the lives of those around me by being kind, and I hope that I make Him proud every day. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I know that I will–my birthday is this week!! I don't have any specific plans but I know that it is going to be a great day! Remember that you are always loved by God, and that I love you too! Happy Sunday! 

Xoxo

Mattie

I can #LightTheWorld by believing.

This week for Light The World, it's Light Your Faith. As we reach out to give as Jesus gave, we ultimately fan the flame of our own faith. This week, reflect on ways following Jesus Christ has brightened your life and discover a few more ways to light your faith. How can you #LightTheWorld by lighting your faith?

There are lots of different ways that we can light our faith! Here are a few ideas!

1. Attending church services! It's a great way to learn and build your faith. Every time I go to church, I always hear something that I needed to hear. It re-establishes my faith, and makes my testimony grow. It's good to hear other people's comments and testimonies, and that, again, re-establishes my faith, and gives me comfort. 

2. Reading the scriptures, magazines, and other Church-endorsed publications about the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. I always learn something new every time I read the scriptures, or when I reread or listen to a conference talk. 

3. Pray! For what? Pray for opportunities to serve, opportunities to understand, opportunities to have faith, opportunities to grow...As we serve, understand, learn to have faith, and grow, our faith increases. I don't know how to explain it, exactly, but I will try:

As I am serving someone, and I realize that my service was something that they needed from me at that time, my faith grows. I realize that my Father in Heaven is using me to bless the lives of those around me because He believes in me, and He trusts me.

As I am beginning to understand more about my Savior's atoning sacrifice, my faith grows. I realize that my Savior died to save me, and He died to give me another chance to live with my Heavenly Father again.

As I am trying specifically to have and express my faith, my faith grows. I realize that sometimes, in order to light my faith, I have to use my faith.

As I am growing as a person, and learning more about how I can become a better person, my faith grows. I realize that God is leading me to be the best version of me I can be, and He is trusting me to bless the lives of His children with my love, service, and time.

4. Go to the temple! God blesses me when I go to the temple. I love to sit in the temple and ponder on different things in my life that I need guidance in. I often receive revelation that I wasn't expecting and I am able to use it to learn and grow. I am SO excited to be able to go through the temple in a couple of weeks! I know that God will bless me as I take this next step in following Him.

There are so many different ways to light your faith! I am grateful for the chances that I have to be able to test and strengthen my faith. I know that I am as stronger woman, and a stronger example to those around me, because of it.

I am grateful for the angels in my life. The thinness of the veil around the holidays is such a wonderful blessing. I know that I have people on both sides of the veil who are rooting for me, and who are blessing my life. This 5-minute fireside by Mercy River on the power of angels is beautiful! (I hope the link works!) Please enjoy!

Merry Christmas!! I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family! Remember the reason for the season.

I am so thankful for my Savior, and for His love and sacrifice. I am grateful for my Father in Heaven, who was willing to give His Son so that we could all return to live with Him someday. 

Xoxo

Mattie