Even when we can't find the words.

These last few months have been full of growth and personal revelation. It's hard to believe it is already April! I can't believe Ricky and I will have been married for one year in just over a month!!! It still seems like only yesterday we were just married! Time is flying by, but each and every day seems to be its own eternity, and I wouldn't change it for the world!

Last weekend, we were blessed to be able to hear from our prophet, apostles, and leaders of the Church. I am so grateful for the messages that were shared! 

I would like to share a few of the messages that rang with me last weekend. 

• "The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of repentance. Because of the Savior's Atonement, His gospel provides an invitation to keep changing, growing, and becoming more pure. It is a gospel of hope, of healing, and of progress. Thus, the gospel is a message of joy!" (Welcome Message, Pres. Russell M. Nelson)
• "Because of Jesus Christ, our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us. 
• Like a musician rehearsing scales, we can see our missteps, flaws, and sins as opportunities for greater self-awareness, deeper and more honest love for others, and refinement through repentance.
• If we repent, mistakes do not disqualify us. They are part of our progress. 
• We are all infants compared to the beings of glory and grandeur we are designed to become. No mortal being advances from crawling to walking to running without frequent stumbles, bumps, and bruises. That is how we learn. 
• If we earnestly keep practicing, always striving to keep God’s commandments, and committing our efforts to repenting, enduring, and applying what we learn, line upon line, we will gather light into our souls. (God among Us, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
• "To be truly life-changing, conversion to Jesus Christ must involve our whole soul and permeate every aspect of our lives. This is why it must be focused at the center of our lives—our families and homes." (Teaching in the Savior's Way, Brother Jan E. Newman)

These are just a few of the many messages that I loved from General Conference last weekend. If you have a chance, I would highly recommend reading and/or watching one conference talk each day. There are so many wonderful messages and lessons from all the leaders, and I am excited for the opportunity to study the messages in detail.

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Change is hard, but it's good to know that I am in good company, as we are all trying to grow and change for the better. Each day, I might fail, but each day is a new day full of new chances. And, as Elder Uchtdorf said in conference last weekend, "our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us." No one is perfect, but we can always try to be better.

Not only have changes been hard for me recently, but so has trying to follow God's plan for me. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I will say this: trying to follow a prompting but feeling like your efforts aren't enough is a real struggle–especially when you need to be patient. Patience is hard, but I've just got to take it one moment–one day–at a time. 

Though life is often challenging, I am grateful for my Heavenly Parents, who offer so much love and support, and who send me angels each and every day. I am grateful for my sweet and patient husband, who loves me so much and tries so very hard to make sure that our life is amazing. I am grateful for wonderful friends, who listen and empathize with me, and who love and support me–even when I don't know what to say other than, "I'm not in the best mood" or "This hurts and is hard".

I'm grateful for the words of the living prophet, through whom God speaks to us. I am grateful that He wants to speak to us! I am grateful that He wants us to talk to Him, and He wants to listen to us. I am grateful that He lets me talk to Him. I have had moments where all I could do was just cry...I poured out my heart to Him through tears...and He listened. He held me and comforted me–I could feel it, and He sent me angels when I needed them. I am so thankful that He hears me when I'm speaking to Him–even if my words are silent. Sometimes, our struggles are too personal to talk about. That is okay. We don't always need to talk about them with others. But God hears us. Even when we can't find the words. He knows. He understands. 

Happy Sunday! Hope you have a wonderful week!

Xoxo

Mattie

Personal revelation leads to personal improvement.

Hello friends!! This weekend was General Conference!! I was so excited and so grateful for all of the messages that were shared by our Prophet and other leaders of the Church.

I felt so much peace and love this weekend as I listened. There are many things that I can work on to improve, but I am going to take my time in order to not stress myself out more than normal. 

I am going to start with improving my personal scripture study and daily prayers. I have also recently begun to start working out. I think that these two things–improving my spiritual study and physical health–will help me foster other areas that I can work on, as well. 

Sorry this post is so late and so short–after Conference, I took a nap and Ricky and I went for a little walk before dinner. It was much needed. 

I am so grateful for personal revelation, and for the wonderful talks and messages that God wanted us to hear through His servants. I am grateful for the improvements that I am going to be working on. I am grateful for the upcoming holiday seasons (Thanksgiving and Christmas) and look forward to celebrating gratitude, the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and remembering all of the blessings that we are and will be receiving because of His birth and, subsequently, His life, death, and resurrection.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week! God loves you, and I do too!

Xoxo

Mattie

Life amidst chaos and uncertainty.

Long time no see! It's been a couple weeks, I think, since I last posted. It's been crazy around the world. The virus known as COVID-19 (or Coronavirus) has the whole world in a tizzy.

There have been crazy shortages of items, such as toilet paper and bottled water, by people who panicked. I think that that is mostly slowing to a trickle.

There has been an OUTBURST of memes (as always!) and they never fail to make me laugh! My brothers have been making their own memes, and I am impressed at how funny these little guys are!

School has been online for the last couple weeks, and will continue to be so until May 1st (at least, for now, in Utah).

Social distancing is encouraged, as well as staying at home/away from crowds as much as possible.

In church-related news, we have been having church at home for about three weeks. A lot of the missionaries serving around the world (including my own brother, Elder Radke) were sent home to be self-quarantined/isolated for two weeks, and then at some point will either be reassigned to a mission in their home country, or released from their mission. It all depends on the missionary and their stake. Temples were closing all around the world one by one, but then on March 25th, the First Presidency announced that all temples were closed until further notice.

To be honest, I was devastated when I heard that news. I am getting married on May 20th, and I was really looking forward to be sealed to my sweetheart for time and all eternity. Planning my wedding right now is actually really stressful. Like, it was stressful before coronavirus was really a thing, but now–with things changing literally every day–I never know whether or not I should move forward with certain things because a lot can happen in one and a half(ish) months and things could be a lot better by then. Then again, things could also be a lot worse. Either way, I am grateful to know that regardless of whether or not the temples will be reopened by the time we will be getting married, we will still be getting married and we will still have the opportunity to be sealed together once the temples are reopened.

Anyway, General Conference is coming up! It is THIS WEEKEND and I could NOT be more excited!! This year is the 200th anniversary of when Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith in a vision. It is going to be a conference like no other, for probably more than one reason. I am so excited to be able to hear from our prophet and other Church leaders.

The last couple of weeks, for church in my home, we have been reading and discussing things from our Come, Follow Me manuals. It has really been a blessing for me to be able to discuss and ponder the scriptures with my family. It's been a blessing for us to spend time together. I think that we have grown closer together. I especially am enjoying it because this is my last couple of months living with my family at home before I am getting married and moving out of the house for good. I am enjoying this time with my family and am grateful to have the chance to be with them together forever because of the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amidst the craziness that is the world right now, one thing that has kept me calm (even thought I will admit, I haven't always been "calm" about some things in my life right now) is the fact that President Nelson has shared many messages of hope and peace, and President Ballard shared a beautiful message of calm and relief during this period of time where so many things are uncertain. He has been encouraging us to study the First Vision, as it is 200 years since it occurred in the year 1820. He invited us all–everyone around the whole world, including people who aren't necessarily members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints–to fast and pray this past weekend for relief from the coronavirus, as well as a blessing on the medical personnel who are and have been working on treating patients and finding a vaccine. It was an amazing experience to fast with my family this past weekend. It was one of the most powerful experiences I have had with fasting in my life.

My fiancé and I had our engagement pictures taken on Monday night. It was so much fun! I loved taking pictures with him and spending time with him! I am so excited to see how they turn out! The wedding is getting closer and closer!! And while things are continuing to be unknown and it's hard to plan certain things, I am still so excited and grateful for the chance to be marrying my best friend in a little over a month and a half!!

While this virus has kind of put the world (and life) on hold, I am still trying to live through the chaos and uncertainty. Texting, video-calling, using social media–connecting with my family and friends has mostly been virtual since we've been quarantined/isolated. I'll admit, that there are days and moments where I am just so done with everything and want this all to be over. There are days where I feel so helpless and like nothing is ever going to be the same again. Will the sun ever shine again (figuratively)? Some days, it doesn't feel like it. But I hold on to my faith. I know that life will go back to normal at some point. It might not be as soon as we would like, but I know that it will all be okay in the end.

I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father! I am grateful that my fiancé and I will still be able to get married, even though (as of right now) we won't be able to be sealed until the temples are reopened. I am grateful that this weekend is General Conference.  I am grateful for the scriptures and for the love, peace, and answers that come from them as I study their words. I am excited for the chance to hear what the Lord has to say to us through the prophet and other church leaders. I am extremely grateful for President Nelson, and for his words of comfort and peace during this time of uncertainty around the world.

Xoxo
Mattie

That's the point!

This week, I was on a spiritual high from last weekend. General Conference is my favorite time of the year, and I'm so glad we have two conferences every year! I am very excited that the talks are now on the Gospel Library App so I can study them in preparation for next conference!

I was teaching my kiddos how to play "Pin the tail on the (Puppy)" (this week our theme was 'pets'; hence, the 'puppy' instead of 'donkey'), and as I was blindfolding one of my kids, he says to me, "I can't see!" I said, "That's the point." Later, when it was my turn, I said something similar to "I can't see" and he says, "That's the point!" And all the rest of my kiddos chime in with, "That's the point!" And I about died laughing! These kids are so funny and make me laugh every day!

As I was thinking about that experience this weekend, I had a thought. I was thinking about the Gospel, and how trials are really hard, and learning and growing as a person are really hard, and that thought came to my mind again, "That's the point!" The point of this life is to experience trials, and to learn and grow. The point of this life is to love God, and love your neighbors. The point of this life is to make the world a better place.

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I'm full of gratitude for this last week. General Conference was amazing, and I've had a fairly amazing week at work. I'm trying to figure out what I'm wanting with my life, and how I can improve myself. I've recently started re-reading the Book of Mormon, and I want to be done by Christmas. It has helped me every day that I've read a chapter or two. I've been calmer, happier, and more at peace as I've read my scriptures each day this week. I'm grateful for the messages of General Conference last week, and I'm grateful for the chance that I have to re-read, listen to, or watch the sessions again for the next six months. I am really hoping that I can become a better person as I keep reading my scriptures every day, and as I study the talks from this last conference. 

I am trying to remember every day to be better. To be more patient, loving, and kind. To let go of the little things that are inconsequential and don't matter. It's hard when I don't understand the why behind things, and I think that doesn't help me be more patient and kind. 

I'm grateful for a God who gives me love and peace when I need it, and even when I don't know that I need it. I'm grateful for a God who reminds me that there is more to this life than meets the eye, and of that wonderful plan that He has in store for me. 

Xoxo

Mattie

My best is enough.

General Conference weekend has come and gone, and it flew by! I can't believe that it's already over! I am so grateful for all of the messages that were shared this weekend and for the answers that I received this weekend. I am grateful for a God who knows me and loves me, and I am grateful for His living prophet, President Russell M. Nelson. He is an amazing man, with a good, kind heart, and he has a love for this gospel, and for the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that is inspiring.

I am so grateful for the chance that I had to go to Salt Lake City yesterday and watch conference in the Joseph Smith Memorial building with my boyfriend, and then walk around Temple Square for a bit before heading back down to Lehi. It was an amazing conference, and I am so grateful for the messages that were spoken, and for the answers that I didn't even know I was looking for! God works in mysterious ways, and I sure am grateful for that!

This weekend was amazing! It was the first time in all of my life that I didn't have any homework or anything to do in between sessions (that I can remember). I just got to focus on conference! It was sooo nice!

I'm grateful for the messages of love that I heard this weekend! And for the messages of support. Lately I feel like all I have been able to do is try my best, and this weekend, I got the answer that that is enough. As the days and weeks press on, I will try to improve each day, but I know that no matter what, it is enough that I will be trying.

I'm looking forward to this upcoming week at work! We're going to be making cookies in class on Thursday that are animal shaped and the kids don't even know it! It's going to be a blast! If anyone has any fun ideas for "In The Fall" (which is our next theme) I'd love some! I've got a few ideas but would love another perspective!

God is wonderful! I am grateful for the peace and love that I feel as I listen to conference, as I attend church meetings, as I go to the temple, and as I am surrounded by my friends and family. My life is not perfect in any way shape or form, but it's perfect for me.

Xoxo
Mattie

God blessed the broken road.

I am feeling so grateful and blessed! It has been quite a week! What with feeling pumped from conference, getting a bunch of calls from places that I applied to, getting 1st place at the BYU Fulton Conference in the college of Family Life, to getting A JOB FOR AFTER GRADUATION! I am so excited for it! I can't believe my dreams are coming true! I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father! I know that He has been blessing me lately, even when I couldn't always see it. I am thankful for the confirmation from Him that this is what He wants me to do.

Yesterday I went to the temple and I ran into two friends and it was so nice to see them! I also was able to really just feel the Spirit, and feel confirmation and peace about the things that I have planned for the future.

I absolutely LOVED the talks in sacrament meeting today! Sarah talked a lot about personal revelation, spiritual experiences, and gaining a testimony. My favorite thing that she talked about was how mental health, spirituality, and revelation go hand-in-hand. Sometimes your body can't receive revelation and you think that God isn't talking to you but that's not true. He is always there and He is always speaking to you. I really loved it because I've felt like God isn't speaking to me, and looking back, it's been in the past few years...which is when my mental health took a decline. So my body wasn't capable of receiving revelation...because my mind was sick. Once Sarah put that thought into words, things made a lot more sense.

In Relief Society today we talked about what we loved about conference. I loved what someone said she got from conference...She said, "Don't judge...just help each other and do your best." I love this because I got a similar message from conference. I got a message of love, service, and just trying your best.

Someone said, "Everything makes sense with the gospel because everything is because of the gospel." I loved that. Life is made easier with the gospel–with Christ–because everything is because of the gospel, and because of Christ. When my life is centered in Christ, and in the gospel, everything makes sense. I might not always understand what's going on, but I know that, no matter what, He is with me, and He loves me.

One of the last things we were talking about was how we should step forward and trust the Lord. Take His promptings for you and show Him that you trust Him. I really feel like I have been trying to do this lately. I have been trying to show Him that I trust Him. I realized that I needed to choose. I needed to make a decision about where I wanted to go. I had been asking and asking Heavenly Father to help guide me to making the decision...but I wasn't getting an answer. I felt like He was silent...but looking back, His silence was the answer. He left the decision up to me. So when I finally made a decision...I told Him if He didn't approve of my decision, He'd have to be very obvious in letting me know that He had a different idea for me. And He paved the way for me to get the job, so I knew that He approved of my choice.

I am very blessed and grateful for so many things that I have been blessed with...the blessing of music, the blessing of family, the blessing of love, the blessing of revelation, and the blessing of peace. I am so grateful for loving friends who are always willing to lend a helping hand and a listening ear.

I know that things happen for a reason, and I know that God has led me to today, and to this job. I am so grateful for the chance I have to be a part of something that I love and something that inspires me. I am so excited for the future and for the next adventures of my life! I am grateful that my Heavenly Father is so loving and kind. I am grateful that He is always there for me and that He supports me in all of my endeavors and dreams.

Xoxo
Mattie

"Ask Him how He feels about you. And then listen."

It's General Conference weekend!! I love General Conference so much!

The main messages that I got this weekend was to love (God, your neighbor, your family), increase your faith, and do better to share your testimony.

I have been thinking a lot this week in preparation for General Conference, and one thing that I have really been thinking about is love for others no matter what. It's hard for me to understand why people can't love others. It frustrates me when people complain about things that they don't like about people because they think they hate a specific group of people, and then they in turn hate the people they are criticizing. It's hypocritical of them. We might not agree with everyone, but we need to love everyone. There is this quote that I love that I think speaks volumes:



I don't always agree with people. There are a lot of people in my life that I have different opinions than. But guess what? I still love them. It's not that hard. Just because I don't agree with someone's lifestyle, opinions, or choices doesn't mean that I fear or hate them. We can have differing lifestyles, opinions, and choices and still be kind and compassionate to each other. This is something that I think people forget or don't understand. It's not hard to love and support each other even though you don't have the same views.

I am so grateful for General Conference weekend! This weekend has been a blessing! I have received a confirmation to an answer that I received a few weeks ago and I am so excited to implement the lessons that I have learned this weekend! I am excited to draw closer to my Father in Heaven and my Savior. I am grateful for the blessings of the temple and the opportunities I have to attend the temple and do the work for my ancestors and for those who have come before me.

I am far from perfect, but I can't wait to love more, have faith more, bless more, and share more.

Xoxo
Mattie

God loves. So I love.

What a week! It's been really crazy, and yet, overall it's been really great, and so easy. This semester has–for the most part–not been super stressful, which I appreciate greatly. Especially considering next semester might be slightly more crazy, especially if I end up taking as many credits as I have sitting in my cart currently (which is 18, fun fact).

I had the opportunity to go to the temple yesterday with my friend and it was absolutely the best thing!! It was exactly what I needed! I love going to the temple, and I especially love hanging out with my friends! Yesterday was like the best day ever! I got a lot of stuff done and I just felt really, really great! I'm so pumped for this week even though I've got like two tests opening on Thursday.

I have been on a social media fast for the last seven days, and I still have three more to go, but honestly, it has been the BIGGEST BLESSING in my life!!! That kind of shocked me, actually! I am absolutely in love with social media, and in keeping up with my friends and family, but these past seven days have been so wonderful! I've been more focused and on top of things. I also never thought that I would be able to actually do a social media fast, I love it so much. But I did! I'm so proud of myself!!

In the midst of my social media fast, I have filled my time with:

• homework
• scripture study
• listening to the Spirit
• communicating with my friends and family via text or in person
• going to the temple
• focusing on myself
• figuring out some of my goals for the school year
• realizing my potential, my purpose, and what I have to offer the world

Now, I'm not saying that I don't do those things when I am not on a social media fast, but sometimes it is a bit harder to do. I am excited to see where not only the rest of the semester takes me, but the rest of the school year! I have a lot of exciting plans for the next several months and I can't wait to see what happens! After my social media fast is over, I have decided that I still want to implement some aspects of the social media fast. I want to only go on at certain times of the day for a certain amount of time, and only if I do not have any major projects or assignments to do. I honestly spend SO MUCH of my time on social media. It's honestly a problem, and I've always known that, but this social media fast has really opened my eyes to 1) how bad it is, and 2) how I can overcome it.

God knows my heart. He knows how much good I have in me. And He knows what I have needed to help me realize my worth and potential. 

I have been thinking for about a year and a half about going through the temple, but I have had some things in my life that have made it hard for me to feel worthy, even though I have repented. This summer, as most of you know, I had the amazing opportunity to go work at a scout camp up at Bear Lake! Up until this social media fast, it was the biggest blessing in my life (though it honestly still is one of the biggest blessings in my life) because I grew so much this summer!! I absolutely loved being up at Bear Lake, even though work was crazy, I was always tired, and I didn't always feel like I got enough people interaction. 

ANYWAY.

The point of that little segue was this: while at Bear Lake this summer, I tried to focus on myself, and my relationship with God, and forgiving myself. And it worked. By the end of the summer, I finally felt like I could forgive myself, and I felt like I was finally starting to hear God speak to me again! I was elated and couldn't be happier! I felt like it wasn't quite so dark in my life anymore.

I had about three weeks from the time I got home to the time I had to go back to school, and I was SO excited to go back to school! I couldn't wait to get learning and finish up my college career and GRADUATE! Ah! I couldn't stand it. Finally, the semester started! I was still feeling good and thinking about going through the temple, but it wasn't entirely the focus on my mind anymore. I had started seeing this guy and was really excited about getting to know him more. In addition to that, I had many projects to work on for school. 

There came a point in the middle of September when I was starting to question (as I often do) my purpose in this life, and what I am here for. I never understand it, I feel like, but sometimes I question if I even have a purpose.

In the week before General Conference, I had a prompting to send some inspiring messages to some of my friends, and as I pondered messages to send, I couldn't help but hope that I wasn't crazy and that what I sent them was actually what they needed. Turns out, God is all knowing! And somehow I sent them exactly what they needed.

Remember that guy I was seeing? Well, after about a month and a half, the relationship ended. I was devastated, but couldn't wait for conference to start the next morning so I could feel God's love. I was hoping for answers for some things that I was thinking about–including going through the temple. And in the first talk, I received some answers. Eagerly I awaited each talk, and somehow, I found something in every. single. talk. That answered one of my questions. Even questions I hadn't written down.

And as for the questions that I struggle with daily: Am I really needed here on earth? Is there something I can do even though I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life as a career? Is there something I can do to help me not feel useless, and to help me realize my potential? Do I have a purpose right now, and even after now? 

I did have a purpose!! God needs disciples, and I am one of His disciples!! God needs people to minister to His children, and love them, and I am one of His ministers! I am someone who loves His children deeply! 

I give something to this world that no one else does: I give undying, endless love and compassion. No one loves like I do.

By the end of conference, I was feeling so, so loved, and I was feeling so warm and happy, and grateful. I realized that I am worthy enough to start preparing to go through the temple, and I realized that not only do I have a purpose in this life, but I am loved, too. I am loved by so many people. I realized that right now, what I need is to focus on my testimony, and my spiritual preparation and journey to go through God's holy temple. I needed to focus on ministering to those around me, and making sure that they know that they are loved. 

In this last week, I have received many more answers about other questions and goals that I have, and I am feeling good about going forward. 

I have been deeply afraid of a lot of things recently...but one of the lessons I have really learned and come to understand lately is this: God gives peace and comfort. And God knows you. He knows what you need, and He is always trying to help you understand what you need, and what He needs you to do. 

Today in Relief Society we learned about not being troubled, and my roommate gave an extremely profound comment that I loved. She said, "Fear drives us to Christ." I loved that. As we were talking about things that dispel fear, we discovered that the things that help the most to dispel fear come from God. And that our love for Him and His Gospel dispels fear. I do not need to fear anything about life. For one, I have God on my side. And for two, if I fear God more than I fear man (be in awe of His strength and power), and anything about life, I will be blessed to be able to work with God, and use my fear of Him to press forward steadfastly with faith, and bless His children. When I turn to Him, my fears fade away.

I know that God blesses us. I know that He sends us answers not only when we ask for them, but when we need them–even if we didn't know that that was a question we were seeking an answer for. I know that He loves us all–we are His children, and He created us. 

It's so easy to love other people, but it's a lot harder to love yourself. I've been working really hard on that since the summer, and even though I'm not perfect at it, I am in a better place today than I was then. I really do love myself, and I am blessed to be able to see past my imperfections most of the time. I hope to someday just honestly love myself fully for who I am like I do with my friends and family. That is my goal. I know that God is helping me learn to love myself and see past my flaws. I know that I see past my loved ones' flaws, and I see past a few of my own, but I still have a ways to go. 

I hope and pray that you all know that God loves you, blesses you, and wants what is best for you. I hope you know that I love you and pray for you every day, and that I wish only the best for you in life.

Xoxo

Mattie

General Conference brings answers, blessings, and peace.

What a weekend it's been!! It was General Conference weekend!!! And there were a lot of messages shared that I definitely needed. 💜 And there were some changes to the Sunday meetings schedule that are going to have a wonderful impact on our church, I just know it.

I am so thankful for the love that our Heavenly Father has for us!! I am so grateful for the love that I have felt from Him this weekend!! I had many answers to prayers and questions that I've had, and I am just so overwhelmed with all of the love and knowledge that I've felt and heard. I'm grateful for my Father in Heaven and for all of the messages that I knew were just for me! The most amazing thing about conference is that everyone can find and hear messages just for them! The messages that we all hear are the same, but somehow we all get different things out of them. I love that about our church!

I am blessed to be able to to listen to and learn from our church leaders! General Conference is my favorite time of the year! God knows exactly what I need to hear long before I know that I'm going to need to hear it. Our leaders prepare for their talks long before conference. They prayerfully consider many topics, and they make sure that what they are going to be saying is pleasing to God. I am so blessed to have a loving Father in Heaven who cares so much about me!! He cares that I feel like I have no purpose, and so He inspires many of our leaders to help guide me, and answer my question: I do have a purpose! My purpose is to be God's disciple! My purpose is to help minister to my fellow brothers and sisters here on earth. I am here to share love.

Earlier this week I had an experience and wanted to share, so here's what I wrote:

Sometimes blessings come in disguise. You might be looking for a specific answer from God, but what you get instead is a prompting that–once you’ve followed it–results in the reassurance that you are doing His work. And you have a purpose. I’ve had a pretty interesting week, but I decided that I wanted to share messages with a few of my friends this week via text. I looked and looked through conference talks and the scriptures that I thought each person would need, and when I found one that resonated with me, I sent it to them, with a few comments of my own. And what happened surprised me, though in retrospect it shouldn’t have. Each friend responded with something like, “That was exactly what I needed, thank you”, and I can’t help but be grateful. I am grateful for my Father in Heaven, who showed me through a simple prompting just how much of an impact I make, and reminded me how I actually do have a purpose (I still don’t know how exactly to word said purpose 😂 but I do know that I have one). And I might not always see it, and I might not ever understand why I often feel like I don’t have a purpose or make an impact here on Earth, but I do know that if you ask Him to show you–if you ask Him for an answer, and for help–He will answer you. At the time that you need it the most, He will answer you. 💜💜💜💜

I know how to word my purpose now. My purpose is to be His disciple. My purpose is to share love. I am grateful for the prompting that I got this week to share some messages with my friends, and I am grateful for the blessing of receiving an answer to my purpose in life.

I am grateful for all of the messages and ideas that I have received this weekend through our prophets and leaders. There couldn't have been a better weekend to follow a rough week. I am feeling loved, blessed, wanted, needed, and full of purpose. I still have many answers that I need, but that's okay. I have what I need to get started, and I think that once I get started, more answers will come.

God is so wonderful. He blesses me, loves me, and reminds me that I do have a purpose, and that I am here for a reason. My life is unique–my story has never been told before–and He wants me to experience many things so that I can share my story with others, and so that I can empathize with others. He wants and needs me to be a blessing to others. I hope and pray that I have been a blessing to others in the past, and I hope that I can continue to be a blessing to others in the future.

God loves ALL His children!! I know He does!! He has a bigger plan for us than we can even see, I know it! We don't know everything about this world, about God's plan for us, or even about our purpose in life, but I do know one thing: We know enough. We do. I promise. I know that God is our Father, that He loves us (all of us–no matter what!), and that He wants what is best for us. Our idea of what is best for us is different than His idea, but He will bless us and help guide us to who He needs us to be.

I know that there are a lot of things wrong with the world, but I also know that there are a lot of good things right with the world. God has blessed us with the ability to choose for ourselves right from wrong. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but we can learn from our mistakes and start over.

God is great. I know He loves us, and I know that we are all His daughters and sons.

I'm grateful for the experiences I've had this weekend, and for the time I've spent with friends. I'm blessed to be surrounded by wonderful and loving friends, and that they are always there for me and are great examples to me.

Xoxo
Mattie

Happy Easter Conference!

Happy Easter! And happy General Conference weekend!! It's been an amazing weekend!! I've learned so much and I have a lot to work on and I am SO excited!! I've been feeling very motivated lately, which is FANTASTIC! I hope it will last the next three weeks as I finish up this semester!

I am so thankful for my Savior, who died and was resurrected so that I could live again. I am so thankful that I can be with my family forever. I went home for today's sessions of conference and I had a blast with my family, especially little brothers! I love them so much and am so grateful for them! They have my whole heart and they're all I need in my life right now.

General Conference was AMAZING!!! We got two new apostles–Elder Gerrit W. Gong and Elder Ulisses S. Soares. I am so excited! They have spoken in conference before and I really loved their talks. We are going to be getting 7 new temples!! I am so excited!! They're going to be all over the world–except for the one in Layton, UT. Though, technically it is still a part of 'all over the world'. Anyway, there's going to be one in India and Russia!! That's awesome!! The home/visiting teaching programs are being reorganized–we are now calling it 'ministering' and there's going to be a little bit of revamping. I'm super excited for that! :)

There were so many amazing and wonderful lessons that I have learned this weekend, but one of my most favorite overall messages was: Love one another–including yourself. That is something that I have been struggling with a lot lately, but I'm working on it. Another message that I got was about forgiveness, including forgiving yourself, which is also something that I struggle with.

Lately I have realized that I have a lot about myself that I have to focus on working on, and even though I had a less-than-ideal way of getting that message, I am really grateful for it. So, I am trying to focus on me right now. Focusing on my spiritual studies, my scholarly studies, and turning outwards. I am trying to focus on doing, and being, and living.

I can't wait till the conference talks are all transcripts online! I am so excited to be able to learn from them more in the upcoming months! I am going to try and work on some things and I am excited to make these changes in my life.

God is our Father. He knows exactly what we need to hear. He knows what we need to do to change. He has given us the Holy Ghost as a companion to help us learn and grow, as well as to help us minister to those around us. I am so grateful for the revelations that I received this weekend, and I am so thankful for the opportunities that God gives me to change. He has given me so many second chances...I am so thankful that He loves me so much and that He wants to help me change. I can't wait to start!

I am so blessed! It's been a wonderful conference weekend, and having conference fall on Easter Sunday is always a blessing! I am so thankful for the wonderful example of my Savior, and for His sacrifice and love! I am blessed beyond measure and I am so excited to be able to focus my life in the right direction, and show Him that He didn't make a mistake with me.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend and that you have an amazing week! :)

Xoxo
Mattie

Perfect love casteth out fear.

Conference weekend has happened once again! Loved the messages this weekend! Grateful that I had the opportunity to come home and hang out with my family (however rambunctious the boys became during the last session). Here are a bunch of my favorite quotes from this wonderful conference weekend!

"In a darkening world, the light of the gosepl will shine brighter and brighter until the perfect day." ~Elder Bragg

"Faith is a practical principle that inspires diligence." ~Elder Soares

"We embody Christ in not only what we say and do, but in who we are." ~Elder Hales

"Diversity is not cacophony."
"The loss of even one voice diminishes every other singer in this great mortal choir."
"Remember it is by divine design that not all of the voices in God's choir are the same. Don't disparage uniqueness."
"There is room in this choir for all who wish to be here." ~Elder Holland

"In order to be all in, we need to stand up inside."
"We may need to let go of the world so we can hang on to eternity." ~Elder Sabin

"Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate." ~Sister Jones

"Things work out when we stand firm in the trial of our faith." ~Elder Clayton

Fear doesn't change hearts.
"In the face of fear, let us find courage, muster our faith.."
The pure love of Christ is the antidote to fear. ~President Uchtdorf

"Sometimes those who raise a warning voice are dismissed as judgmental."
To warn is to care.
"Then Jesus, beholding him, loved him."
"Because of this love, and with this love, Jesus asked even more of him." ~Elder Palmer

"We should not be surprised by what may seem like 'small things' because of their simple and repetitive nature."
"Conversion to the gospel does not mean all our problems will be solved." ~Elder Cook

Hope you had a great weekend and that you have a great week!! I'm struggling with the last couple weeks of the semester and I am frightened for finals but hopefully I'll be able to get through them! I'm looking forward to reading the talks again in the upcoming months (at lds.org. Join me in reading them again!). I'm grateful for the prophets and leaders and for their inspiring thoughts and messages this weekend. A few of the overall messages that I heard/noticed were that we need to love everyone, perfect love casteth out fear, and faith is an essential principle of power. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father and for the messages that touched me this weekend. I hope that I will be able to apply the lessons and become a better person.

Xoxo
Mattie

Things are going to get better.

This weekend was General Conference weekend!!!!

So happy to have been able to watch conference this weekend with my friends and roommates! It was a great weekend full of great messages! I am so grateful for our prophet, President Monson, and for his counselors, and for the quorum of the twelve apostles. I heard a lot of things this weekend that I needed to hear. There were a lot of repeats of "God loves you" and "He knows you" and I feel like those were specifically directed to me because I've been struggling a little bit with a couple of things and I just needed that reminder that He knows me and loves me and that I am not forgotten by Him. Other reminders that I needed were ones of "have faith" and remember to study and pray. I'm working on that one. :)

Also. Totally random. Just saw this on Facebook (and I shared it but I feel like this should be seen every week at least) and wanted to share. Sometimes we have rough times. Sometimes things don't go how we planned. Sometimes we think we want one thing and we end up wanting something else. Sometimes we feel alone and lost. But it's okay. We all feel like this sometimes. And guess what? That's okay. You're normal, and you're not alone. You're a wonderful person who is smart, strong, confident, loved, wanted, needed, and has so much going for them. Remember that things are going to get better, and that you can do it. You've gotten through all your hard days before. This one is no different. <3

He forces no one.

This weekend was General Conference!! I was so excited to be able to hear the messages of our prophets and leaders. I was not disappointed (never ever have I been disappointed)! I was blessed to be able to hear answers to prayers and questions that I have had, and also to questions I didn't know I had. There were some really powerful messages this weekend. I missed part of both of the Saturday sessions, so I cannot wait to read them again when they become available.

Though I loved them all, I'm going to share just a few of my favorite quotes (some may or may not be paraphrased). The bolded ones are the ones that really stood out to me. You can watch the messages or read them online when they become available at lds.org. :)

Pres. Donald L. Hallstrom:
-He allows some suffering because He knows it will bless us.

Elder Kevin R. Duncan:
-We can forgive, and we can be free.
-To forgive is not to condone.

Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson:
-It is a daily decision to choose faith over doubt.

Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
-There is no life so shattered that it cannot be restored.
-It matters not how you became lost. What matters is you are His child and He loves you.
-He will force no one to heaven. He will not rescue you if it is not your will.
-God sees us as we truly are, and He sees us worthy of rescue.

Elder Robert D. Hales:
-The Holy Ghost is not given to control us.

Elder Patrick Kearon:
-We must take a stance against intolerance.
-This moment does not define them, but our response will define us.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks:
-It is opposition that enables choice.
-Some things can only be learned by faith.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:
-We all have to come down from peak experiences to deal with the vicissitudes of life.
-The Lord blesses those who want to improve.
-We are to deal justly...walk humbly...and judge righteously.
-If we give our hearts to God, then tomorrow and every other day is ultimately going to be magnificent.

Again, it was an amazing weekend filled with inspired messages and I am so grateful that I was able to hear answers to my prayers and questions. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the living prophet today. I know that Joseph Smith, Jr. restored the true church to the earth. I know that Heavenly Father sent His Son to die for us. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and I know that He atoned for us, and that He was resurrected for us. I know that we are loved by our Savior and our Heavenly Father. I know that the speakers this weekend were inspired by God to talk about what we most needed to hear. I am so grateful that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am so grateful that I know that this is the true church, and that I know that God loves us and wants us to return to live with Him again. I also want to repeat what President Uchtdorf said about how He won't force anyone to heaven. It is your decision to listen, and to apply, and to do, and it is also your decision to turn away. He loves you, but He won't force you to be somewhere that you are not happy; He will respect your decision. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

General Conference weekend. :)

It's General Conference weekend!!!!! I have absolutely LOVED this weekend!!!! We got three new apostles, and we miss President Boyd K. Packer, Elder L. Tom Perry, and Elder Richard G. Scott, but we welcome Elders Ronald A. Rasband, Gary E. Stevenson, and Dale G. Renlund. There have been so many great messages this weekend that I needed to hear!! 

Here are just a few of my favorite quotes:

"Exaltation is our goal. Discipleship is our journey." ~~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Direction is ever more important than our speed." ~~Elder Larry R. Lawrence

"Self-control is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets." ~~Elder Quentin L. Cook

"Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are." ~~Elder Jeffrery R. Holland

"None of us marry perfection. We marry potential." ~~Elder Rober D. Hales

"There is no darkness so dense, so menacing, or so difficult that it cannot be overcome by light." ~~Elder Vern P. Stanfill

"Christ was sent to heal the broken hearted." ~~Elder Dallin H. Oaks

"Only when we see through Heavenly Father's eyes can we be filled with the pure love of Christ." ~~Elder Dale G. Renlund

"No choice, sin, or mistake will change His love." ~~Elder Ronald A. Rasband

"God's ultimate purpose is our progress." "Repentance is individual. But fellowship...is in the church." (I paraphrased that last quote there) ~~Elder D. Todd Christofferson

"Small efforts sustained over time can produce significant results." ~~Brother Devin G. Durrant

"Don't be too critical of the barrier. It's the only thing keeping you from being devoured." ~~Elder Von G. Keetch

"Trust God. Trust Jesus. Trust the whisperings of the Spirit. Trust the counsel of living prophets." ~~Sister Carole M. Stephens

"Repentance is real, and it works." ~~Elder Allen D. Haynie

I have loved all of the messages given this weekend!! I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to watch conference and to listen to and learn from our Latter-day prophets. It is always a blessing to hear their words, especially when their words are desperately needed by me. I am so grateful to be a member of this church!!!  

Xoxo

Mattie

Today was kind of hard. But that's okay.

So, as the title says, today was kind of hard. But that's okay. Hard times make me stronger (though, I'm going to be honest, sometimes I wish I could become stronger in other ways). This morning was super fun–I went to rehearsal today and, though some of the pieces are challenging, I am excited. It's going to be so much fun!! Plus, I love spending time with my friend. :) After rehearsal, though, I was just so overwhelmed. I have a nature experience proposal due in Biology on Monday and I have absolutely NO idea what to do. It has been bothering me all day, and it is what has made today hard (that, plus the fact that my shoulders/back are super sore for who-knows-why and are killing me). But I was really looking forward to the General Women's Broadcast tonight. :) I was super excited!! I was not disappointed!! It was such a great session! I loved it! I am so excited for General Conference next weekend!! There were SO many good messages spoken that I needed to hear!!!

Sister Rosemary M. Wixom said:

Life is a gift, and God has a plan for each of us.

Our divine nature comes from God.

Because you are His child, He knows who you can become.

I love this. This is such a great reminder that we are His, and He has a plan for us, and all that we have been blessed with comes from Him. <3

Sister Linda S. Reeves said:

We will be blessed if we exercise faith in our Father and go to Him.

The reward is so great, so eternal...

As we keep our lives pure and clean...we will one day receive all that the Father hath.

I love this! We will be blessed as we keep His commandments–I love that she got emotional as she talked about how, when we see the Father in Heaven, we will be amazed at how awesome the reward is, and how all we had to do was get through our trials that seem extremely hard now, but, in the end, will be nothing compared to the reward. <3

Sister Carol F. McConkie said:

We must love one another and see in one another the beauty of the soul.

In the strength of the Lord we can do all things.

We repent so that we may be better.

"In this cause [FYI, she said that "we are here to serve a righteous cause"] we are all valued. We are all needed. The righteous cause we serve is the cause of Christ. It is the work of salvation."

I love this. I can't even add anything to it. <3

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

He told a story about a young girl who visited her Great-Aunt Rose over the summer while the girl's mother recovered from a surgery. These are some of the things he said as he told the story:

If we trust Him, we can find the brighter, happier things in life.

The best things take patience and work.

Brooding and worrying makes it worse. (this stood out to me in particular. <3 <3 <3)

God didn't design us to be sad. He created us to have joy.

Now is part of eternity. 

Faith will fortify every step of the way.

I love President Uchtdorf! This was such a good talk! I loved the story! Such a cute story, and very relatable. <3 <3

I absolutely LOVED this session!!!! God is watching out for me and He knows exactly what I need. <3 <3 <3 Can't wait for next weekend!!!

Xoxo
Mattie

Happy Easter! Conference weekend. :)

But when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away, (for it was very great,) and two angels sitting thereon, clothed in long white garments; and they were affrighted.
But the angels said unto them, Be not affrighted; ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified; he is risen; he is not here (JST Mark 16: 3-4)

I know He lives! I know He loves us. I know that He is always there for us. I hope you have a happy Easter. #BecauseHeLives :)

Conference was absolutely wonderful!! Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Saturday Morning Session:

God is our father. His mercy is without limit. ~President Packer

We are here to help, lift, and rejoice with each other as we try to become our very best selves. ~Sister Burton

If we are not rooted in the teachings of the gospel and regular in its practices, any one of us can develop a stony heart. ~Elder Oaks

Believing in Him and in His redemptive power is "the true path to peace". ~Elder Clayton

The entire theology of our gospel centers on family and marriage. ~Elder Perry

Saturday Afternoon Session:
"If we don’t try, we’re just latter-day sinners. If we don’t persevere, we’re latter-day quitters. If we don’t allow others to try, we’re latter-day hypocrites." ~Elder Renlund

Following His light and example will bring us joy, comfort, and peace. ~Elder Cook

In His mercy God promises forgiveness when we repent and turn from our sins. ~Elder Renlund

Sunday Morning Session:
"He still extends unending grace." ~Elder Holland

"Grace unlocks the gates of heaven and opens the windows of heaven...The grace of God is our great and everlasting hope. The plan of mercy appeases the demands of justice...His Grace refines us, and helps us become our best selves." ~Pres. Uchtdorf

Sunday Afternoon Session:
We must not forget that moral agency is an essential part of God’s plan available to all his children. ~Elder Hales

Enduring to the end is the great test of discipleship. ~Elder Pearson

We see God’s miracles in His wondrous work and in our lives...God is mindful of every people...His mercy is over all the earth. ~Elder Andersen

Faith in God engenders a love for the Sabbath. Faith in the Sabbath engenders a love for God. ~Elder Nelson

This weekend has been a great weekend, full of fantastic messages from our church leaders. I had many prayers answered, and I am so grateful for the messages that were spoken! I'm so excited for spring break–we leave for tour on Wednesday, and I couldn't be happier!! Literally, my body is super excited!! Hope you had a wonderful Easter and conference. Bless you all! :)