Life amidst chaos and uncertainty.

Long time no see! It's been a couple weeks, I think, since I last posted. It's been crazy around the world. The virus known as COVID-19 (or Coronavirus) has the whole world in a tizzy.

There have been crazy shortages of items, such as toilet paper and bottled water, by people who panicked. I think that that is mostly slowing to a trickle.

There has been an OUTBURST of memes (as always!) and they never fail to make me laugh! My brothers have been making their own memes, and I am impressed at how funny these little guys are!

School has been online for the last couple weeks, and will continue to be so until May 1st (at least, for now, in Utah).

Social distancing is encouraged, as well as staying at home/away from crowds as much as possible.

In church-related news, we have been having church at home for about three weeks. A lot of the missionaries serving around the world (including my own brother, Elder Radke) were sent home to be self-quarantined/isolated for two weeks, and then at some point will either be reassigned to a mission in their home country, or released from their mission. It all depends on the missionary and their stake. Temples were closing all around the world one by one, but then on March 25th, the First Presidency announced that all temples were closed until further notice.

To be honest, I was devastated when I heard that news. I am getting married on May 20th, and I was really looking forward to be sealed to my sweetheart for time and all eternity. Planning my wedding right now is actually really stressful. Like, it was stressful before coronavirus was really a thing, but now–with things changing literally every day–I never know whether or not I should move forward with certain things because a lot can happen in one and a half(ish) months and things could be a lot better by then. Then again, things could also be a lot worse. Either way, I am grateful to know that regardless of whether or not the temples will be reopened by the time we will be getting married, we will still be getting married and we will still have the opportunity to be sealed together once the temples are reopened.

Anyway, General Conference is coming up! It is THIS WEEKEND and I could NOT be more excited!! This year is the 200th anniversary of when Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith in a vision. It is going to be a conference like no other, for probably more than one reason. I am so excited to be able to hear from our prophet and other Church leaders.

The last couple of weeks, for church in my home, we have been reading and discussing things from our Come, Follow Me manuals. It has really been a blessing for me to be able to discuss and ponder the scriptures with my family. It's been a blessing for us to spend time together. I think that we have grown closer together. I especially am enjoying it because this is my last couple of months living with my family at home before I am getting married and moving out of the house for good. I am enjoying this time with my family and am grateful to have the chance to be with them together forever because of the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amidst the craziness that is the world right now, one thing that has kept me calm (even thought I will admit, I haven't always been "calm" about some things in my life right now) is the fact that President Nelson has shared many messages of hope and peace, and President Ballard shared a beautiful message of calm and relief during this period of time where so many things are uncertain. He has been encouraging us to study the First Vision, as it is 200 years since it occurred in the year 1820. He invited us all–everyone around the whole world, including people who aren't necessarily members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints–to fast and pray this past weekend for relief from the coronavirus, as well as a blessing on the medical personnel who are and have been working on treating patients and finding a vaccine. It was an amazing experience to fast with my family this past weekend. It was one of the most powerful experiences I have had with fasting in my life.

My fiancé and I had our engagement pictures taken on Monday night. It was so much fun! I loved taking pictures with him and spending time with him! I am so excited to see how they turn out! The wedding is getting closer and closer!! And while things are continuing to be unknown and it's hard to plan certain things, I am still so excited and grateful for the chance to be marrying my best friend in a little over a month and a half!!

While this virus has kind of put the world (and life) on hold, I am still trying to live through the chaos and uncertainty. Texting, video-calling, using social media–connecting with my family and friends has mostly been virtual since we've been quarantined/isolated. I'll admit, that there are days and moments where I am just so done with everything and want this all to be over. There are days where I feel so helpless and like nothing is ever going to be the same again. Will the sun ever shine again (figuratively)? Some days, it doesn't feel like it. But I hold on to my faith. I know that life will go back to normal at some point. It might not be as soon as we would like, but I know that it will all be okay in the end.

I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father! I am grateful that my fiancé and I will still be able to get married, even though (as of right now) we won't be able to be sealed until the temples are reopened. I am grateful that this weekend is General Conference.  I am grateful for the scriptures and for the love, peace, and answers that come from them as I study their words. I am excited for the chance to hear what the Lord has to say to us through the prophet and other church leaders. I am extremely grateful for President Nelson, and for his words of comfort and peace during this time of uncertainty around the world.

Xoxo
Mattie

Peace and love amidst confusion.

I missed last week's post because it was just such a crazy day/week! I've had a lot going on. So I'm playing a little catch-up with a few posts in one. 

March 1, 2020:

Palmyra, New York. 1820. Early spring. Early morning. A young boy. A serious question. A vision from God.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=431662257545756

This video is amazing! I love all of the little miracles. It's such a testimony to me and just reaffirms my faith in the gospel, in my Savior, and in my Heavenly Father. I am so thankful for the First Vision, and for the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the Book of Mormon, and for the impact that it has had on my life, and for the love and peace that I have felt as I have read its pages and studied its messages.

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March 8, 2020:

I love this. I don't have all the answers. I don't know. I honestly don't know. I am so confused and so sad for all who are affected.

But I love this. God is a God of clarity and truth. Sometimes it seems like He has given us conflicting commandments. Sometimes it seems like He hasn't given us any answers. But I know that He loves us. I know that He wants us to be happy. So I will walk and talk with you. I will love you. Because that is what Jesus would do. And I am trying to be like Jesus. So I will do what He would do. And that is fight for you. And love you. So I will fight for you, and I will love you. Even when people tear me down because of my beliefs. Because I can be the bigger person. I can make room in my heart to love those with opposing opinions and views, even if others cannot grant me the same respect. 

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Today is also International Women's Day! I wanted to say how thankful I am for all of the women in my life: my mom, my sisters, my grandmas, my aunts, my friends. I have such amazing examples and mentors in my life. Thank you for showing me kindness, determination, charity, compassion, divinity, dedication, how to be myself, and that, no matter what, I have an armada of love behind me. 

I am grateful for my Heavenly Mother, and for the example that She is to me. I am grateful for the peace and love that I feel whenever I think of Her. I am grateful for Her quiet influence in my life. I am grateful for the love and strength that She gives me. I am grateful for the hand that She has had in my life. 

It has been a pretty busy and difficult week for me in a lot of ways, but I am so grateful for not only my Heavenly Parents and my Savior, but for my cute fiancé, who has been holding my hand (literally and figuratively) the whole week. He is my person and my rock and I can't imagine life without him.

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I am looking forward to getting some things done this week and to cross a few things off my to-do list. This will be a great week! I can do hard things! God is with me and will help me get through it, and He is with you and will help you through it, as well!! He loves you very much and is so proud of you! I love you and am proud of you as well! Keep it up! 

Xoxo

Mattie