It is the motivation that is important.

So I decided to take a seven-day fast from social media last week and it was probably one of the best decisions I could have made last week! Especially because I had the privilege of working on two papers, studying for one midterm, and dealing with my first-ever migraine during about 3/5ths of the week. I also bought my graduation announcements, as well as my cap and gown! Graduation is coming up so fast, and yet, not fast enough!

What a weekend! Porter turned 8 and was baptized yesterday! And Tyler had his Eagle Court of Honor tonight. I am so proud of both of them! I am so thankful for my family and for the blessing that I have of being sealed to them for time and all eternity.

Porter and I after his confirmation on Saturday.

I am grateful for my Savior, who lived, preached, blessed, and served His whole life to be an example to us. I am grateful that He loved us so much, He was willing to atone and die for us. I do not believe that He could have even imagined the suffering that He would endure for us, but I am grateful that when He felt inadequate, and didn't want to do it anymore, He said to His Father, "Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done" and He held on. He wasn't alone, either; He had help from an angel on high, giving Him strength.

I think that we can learn a lot from the experience of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane and at Calvary.

When we were first told of the Plan of Salvation, I am sure that we rejoiced beyond belief at the thought of one day becoming like our Father and being able to live with Him forever. But I am also sure that we did not know exactly what we would go through in this life. I am sure we knew we would have trials in our life, but I don't think we would have been able to understand the depths of our trials and experiences.

Much like Jesus, sometimes I no longer want to do my part, but also like Him, I know that God has a plan for not only me, but all of us, and sometimes His plan for others involves me, so I have to ready, and there, to do His will. And even when we feel alone sometimes, we have angels on Earth and in Heaven who are standing beside us and helping us stand.

One thing that we discussed in Sunday School today was that sometimes God tells us to do things that contradict each other, but upon further thought and discussion in my mind, I decided that it's not necessarily that they contradict each other...it's just that we are not thinking about it in the right mindset. Jesus tells us to do things in secret...Tanner said that he thought it meant individually, and one-on-one. Jesus also tells us to let our light shine...I thought that it meant that we aren't supposed to hide or publicize our works. We are just supposed to live our life, and go about doing what we do, and not focus on our appearance to others.

The Lord has shown us that we are to be a person like Him, and we should seek the Spirit and act accordingly. We can learn from those around in how they act and live. We can learn from how they learn from their personal promptings, and we can learn from how they seek God, and His Spirit.

We talked about how we can know the Savior. There's lots of things that we can do, like going to church, reading our scriptures, and saying our prayers, but if we don't believe in what we're doing, and if we don't learn and grow from the experiences, we can't know of Him. If we really want to know Him, we have to be like Him. We have to change our thoughts and hearts to be like His.

God knows us so deeply and intimately that He knows what we need. He is always waiting for us to try to get to know Him! It is up to us to keep that relationship strong.

I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father and am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of their Holiness and Divinity. I am grateful that I have taken the steps needed to change and become more in tune with the Spirit and to become more inline with what They have in store for me.

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I know this week will be better than last week for me and I hope that you all know how much I love you! I hope you also know that I have a testimony of the graciousness of my Father in Heaven, and of the love that He has for all of us. I have a testimony that Jesus is the Christ, and that He suffered in Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary to save each and every one of us. God is great, and I am so blessed.

Xoxo
Mattie

Happy Easter Conference!

Happy Easter! And happy General Conference weekend!! It's been an amazing weekend!! I've learned so much and I have a lot to work on and I am SO excited!! I've been feeling very motivated lately, which is FANTASTIC! I hope it will last the next three weeks as I finish up this semester!

I am so thankful for my Savior, who died and was resurrected so that I could live again. I am so thankful that I can be with my family forever. I went home for today's sessions of conference and I had a blast with my family, especially little brothers! I love them so much and am so grateful for them! They have my whole heart and they're all I need in my life right now.

General Conference was AMAZING!!! We got two new apostles–Elder Gerrit W. Gong and Elder Ulisses S. Soares. I am so excited! They have spoken in conference before and I really loved their talks. We are going to be getting 7 new temples!! I am so excited!! They're going to be all over the world–except for the one in Layton, UT. Though, technically it is still a part of 'all over the world'. Anyway, there's going to be one in India and Russia!! That's awesome!! The home/visiting teaching programs are being reorganized–we are now calling it 'ministering' and there's going to be a little bit of revamping. I'm super excited for that! :)

There were so many amazing and wonderful lessons that I have learned this weekend, but one of my most favorite overall messages was: Love one another–including yourself. That is something that I have been struggling with a lot lately, but I'm working on it. Another message that I got was about forgiveness, including forgiving yourself, which is also something that I struggle with.

Lately I have realized that I have a lot about myself that I have to focus on working on, and even though I had a less-than-ideal way of getting that message, I am really grateful for it. So, I am trying to focus on me right now. Focusing on my spiritual studies, my scholarly studies, and turning outwards. I am trying to focus on doing, and being, and living.

I can't wait till the conference talks are all transcripts online! I am so excited to be able to learn from them more in the upcoming months! I am going to try and work on some things and I am excited to make these changes in my life.

God is our Father. He knows exactly what we need to hear. He knows what we need to do to change. He has given us the Holy Ghost as a companion to help us learn and grow, as well as to help us minister to those around us. I am so grateful for the revelations that I received this weekend, and I am so thankful for the opportunities that God gives me to change. He has given me so many second chances...I am so thankful that He loves me so much and that He wants to help me change. I can't wait to start!

I am so blessed! It's been a wonderful conference weekend, and having conference fall on Easter Sunday is always a blessing! I am so thankful for the wonderful example of my Savior, and for His sacrifice and love! I am blessed beyond measure and I am so excited to be able to focus my life in the right direction, and show Him that He didn't make a mistake with me.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend and that you have an amazing week! :)

Xoxo
Mattie

Patience and love.

I am constantly having to work on my patience. It's something I struggle with. Because I have eight younger siblings—most of whom don't listen to me at times—it's something I need to work on. Four of my brothers are only little, and I need to be more patient with them. Two of them are a little bigger but they know better and sometimes I get frustrated because they don't do what they're supposed to or they don't listen, but I still need to be more patient. My sisters are older than most of the boys: one is rebellious at times and the other is not yet a teen, but I still need to be patient. Patience is something I struggle with sometimes, but most especially at home. I need to learn to be like Jesus and love my siblings. I need to be patient, and kind, and caring. There may be some days that are better than others and some may be worse. I just need to remember that:

1) Heavenly Father loves me with all my flaws, and He also loves my siblings with all of theirs. 

2) Heavenly Father must be the king of patience because He works with imperfect people all day long, including me. 

So, because Heavenly Father loves me and works with me all day, I need to learn patience and love my siblings, even with their imperfections. Even if they think I'm annoying because of what I do, I need to be kinder and step up and be the big sister and the good example. Even if they don't listen to me, I still need to be there for them. I need to let them know that I will always love them. I need to let them know that they can come to me at ANY time for ANY thing and I will not judge. And I can start by being patient.