It is the motivation that is important.

So I decided to take a seven-day fast from social media last week and it was probably one of the best decisions I could have made last week! Especially because I had the privilege of working on two papers, studying for one midterm, and dealing with my first-ever migraine during about 3/5ths of the week. I also bought my graduation announcements, as well as my cap and gown! Graduation is coming up so fast, and yet, not fast enough!

What a weekend! Porter turned 8 and was baptized yesterday! And Tyler had his Eagle Court of Honor tonight. I am so proud of both of them! I am so thankful for my family and for the blessing that I have of being sealed to them for time and all eternity.

Porter and I after his confirmation on Saturday.

I am grateful for my Savior, who lived, preached, blessed, and served His whole life to be an example to us. I am grateful that He loved us so much, He was willing to atone and die for us. I do not believe that He could have even imagined the suffering that He would endure for us, but I am grateful that when He felt inadequate, and didn't want to do it anymore, He said to His Father, "Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done" and He held on. He wasn't alone, either; He had help from an angel on high, giving Him strength.

I think that we can learn a lot from the experience of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane and at Calvary.

When we were first told of the Plan of Salvation, I am sure that we rejoiced beyond belief at the thought of one day becoming like our Father and being able to live with Him forever. But I am also sure that we did not know exactly what we would go through in this life. I am sure we knew we would have trials in our life, but I don't think we would have been able to understand the depths of our trials and experiences.

Much like Jesus, sometimes I no longer want to do my part, but also like Him, I know that God has a plan for not only me, but all of us, and sometimes His plan for others involves me, so I have to ready, and there, to do His will. And even when we feel alone sometimes, we have angels on Earth and in Heaven who are standing beside us and helping us stand.

One thing that we discussed in Sunday School today was that sometimes God tells us to do things that contradict each other, but upon further thought and discussion in my mind, I decided that it's not necessarily that they contradict each other...it's just that we are not thinking about it in the right mindset. Jesus tells us to do things in secret...Tanner said that he thought it meant individually, and one-on-one. Jesus also tells us to let our light shine...I thought that it meant that we aren't supposed to hide or publicize our works. We are just supposed to live our life, and go about doing what we do, and not focus on our appearance to others.

The Lord has shown us that we are to be a person like Him, and we should seek the Spirit and act accordingly. We can learn from those around in how they act and live. We can learn from how they learn from their personal promptings, and we can learn from how they seek God, and His Spirit.

We talked about how we can know the Savior. There's lots of things that we can do, like going to church, reading our scriptures, and saying our prayers, but if we don't believe in what we're doing, and if we don't learn and grow from the experiences, we can't know of Him. If we really want to know Him, we have to be like Him. We have to change our thoughts and hearts to be like His.

God knows us so deeply and intimately that He knows what we need. He is always waiting for us to try to get to know Him! It is up to us to keep that relationship strong.

I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father and am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of their Holiness and Divinity. I am grateful that I have taken the steps needed to change and become more in tune with the Spirit and to become more inline with what They have in store for me.

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I know this week will be better than last week for me and I hope that you all know how much I love you! I hope you also know that I have a testimony of the graciousness of my Father in Heaven, and of the love that He has for all of us. I have a testimony that Jesus is the Christ, and that He suffered in Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary to save each and every one of us. God is great, and I am so blessed.

Xoxo
Mattie

I'm grateful for the pioneers, and for my pioneer ancestors.

Currently, I am in the middle of watching 17 Miracles. I love this movie. I also love Ephraim's Rescue. These movies are powerful, powerful videos that show the strength and determination of the pioneers as they traveled to Zion. They also show many, many miracles that happened on their journey. It is such a testimony builder to me. I'm so, so grateful for the pioneers, and for my ancestors. Without their strong testimonies and determination to follow the Lord, I would not be who I am today. I'm so grateful for the brave men, women, and children who marched on. I'm grateful for their sacrifices and their love. I cannot even begin to comprehend how much they had to endure, even after having heard the stories and watched videos depicting what they had to go through. They loved and lost so much. I am so grateful for them. I am so, so grateful, and I am so, so blessed to have been born into the church. I have a testimony of this gospel. I know that Christ lives. I know that He loves me, and I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know that He atoned for our sins and for our afflictions, and pains, and everything that we have had to go through. I know that He is always there with me and that I am never alone. I know that He will always be there for me, and I know that He will always be there for you.

I choose to believe.

Earlier today I felt like I needed to talk about something specific, but it has since escaped my mind. While I am thinking about it, I will share an experience I had today during the sacrament. As we were singing the sacrament hymn, "There Is A Green Hill Far Away", I couldn't stop thinking about the lyrics and the meaning of this song:

1. 1. There is a green hill far away,
   Without a city wall,
   Where the dear Lord was crucified,
   Who died to save us all.
   2. We may not know, we cannot tell,
   What pains he had to bear,
   But we believe it was for us
   He hung and suffered there.
   3. There was no other good enough
   To pay the price of sin.
   He only could unlock the gate
   Of heav'n and let us in.
   4. Oh, dearly, dearly has he loved!
   And we must love him too,
   And trust in his redeeming blood,
   And try his works to do.

I bolded some of the lines that stood out to me, and I highlighted the third verse because it hit me really hard. "There was no other good enough To pay the price of sin. He only could unlock the gate Of heav'n and let us in." There truly was no one else who was good enough. Sister Jones said something during Relief Society that goes really well with this verse. She said, "Jesus cannot save us in our sins." He can't save us in our sins, so He atoned for us so that we can turn to Him and so that He can save us. Sister Frandsen (in sacrament meeting) talked about how it is our choice to believe. Sister Jones said something along the same lines. She said that "the Savior cannot force it [the Atonement] upon us. We must choose."

The theme today seemed to be "Choose to believe." And it is true. We must choose. No one can force us to believe. It is our choice. I can tell you what I believe and know, and what I feel and have felt, but only you can choose to believe it for yourself.

I believe in God. I believe in Christ. I know that He lives. I know that He loves me, and I know that He loves you. I know that He has a plan for me and a plan for you. I know that He supports and cares for you, even if you don't believe in Him. He still loves you, and He still wants you to succeed in life. He wants you to return to Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. He sent His Son to help us. We cannot get back to Him without our Savior.

I am so grateful for my Savior, and for His sacrifice for me. He died for me–my sins, my sicknesses, my pains, my afflictions, things I've gone through. He died so that I could have someone who knows exactly what I've been through. And I'm so thankful for that.

It is always our choice, and I am proud to say that I choose to believe.

My favourite Christmas gift.

I don't know about you, but my Christmas rocked! I received lots of new and nice things that I'm so grateful for, but my favourite gift—the one I'm most grateful for—is the gift of my Savior. His sacrifice for me—He didn't have to do it at all, but He chose to. Guys, He could have saved Himself; He could have showed His power to the nonbelievers, but He didn't. He wanted to sacrifice Himself because He loves us. Even when we don't deserve it—even when we are complete morons (because, let's face it—at some point, we all do something so incredibly stupid at least once), He still wanted to save us. He still wanted to give us the option to be able to either accept Him as our Savior, or to decline Him. If we decline His offer, we have to go through what He went through for us. I don't know about you, but I'm so grateful that He suffered for me so that I don't have to. It makes me sad that He had to suffer for every single person who's lived or will live on earth, but I'm so glad that I'm not alone. No person on earth has ever gone through exactly what I have, which makes it hard sometimes to sympathise or empathise, but He has been through it—completely and exactly the way that I have. And I'm so thankful for that. That means that I can turn to Him, and He will know exactly how to help me. I'm grateful that He and my Heavenly Father love me enough to give me a way out. Granted, it's not an easy way out—it does require a bit of work—but it's better than nothing. And I'm so thankful for the way out—sometimes I do something so bad or I lose my temper, but I know that I can be forgiven if I do it the right way—His way.