Allow yourself to be forgiven.

Well, today's the day of all the musics!! I was thinking a lot about it during the sacrament today.

I am so thankful for my Savior. It has been a crazy and stressful week, what with finalizing the Fireside tonight, writing papers, and preparing to sing my solo in sacrament meeting. I was able to get everything done but am now absolutely termed something is going to go horribly wrong. Also, I'm nervous, so that doesn't exactly help haha. It honestly is going to be so amazing but my anxiety kicked in this week/weekend and I've been struggling to kick it out. Luckily I have been praying for peace and calm assurance, so I'm feeling slightly better. I don't know where I'd be without my Savior's help and love. I need i each and every day. So thankful that He is always there!  💜

Well, first music of the day was me singing "Oh Holy Night" in sacrament meeting. And of course I was the first number right after the sacrament. So the whole time the sacrament was going on I was trying to be so, so calm, but I was honestly absolutely terrified (as you can see from my thoughts during the sacrament today). Afterwards, I was like, "I feel like I am simultaneously getting better and more confident at performing, but also more nervous each and every time." I don't know how that works haha but that's how it is.

In Gospel Principles, we talked about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and we talked about it in an amazing new light that I loved. Some of the things that we talked about today were things that I needed to hear. One thing that we talked about was that forgiveness is you repenting of having hard feelings for them, and forgiving the debt that you feel they owe you. It isn't possible for them to pay that debt. Only Jesus Christ can do that. Another thing we talked about was that part of turning to God and Christ is allowing ourselves to be forgiven. If He says we're forgiven, we're forgiven.

(One thing I was thinking about, too, is that we need to allow ourselves to feel. Feel love, feel patience, feel forgiven, etc.)

I loved church today! It was so amazing and I received several answers, which is always the best! :)

Now, I am so nervous and excited for the fireside tonight!! We had choir practice at 2:30p today and we TOTALLY NAILED the song that has been the most tricky, so I am so excited!! It is going to be so fun! And so full of music and messages of the birth of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for this opportunity, but it has been very stressful. I am so thankful for my friend (and choir pianist) Julia for all of her help. ALSO! I have always been very grateful towards those in charge of putting on concerts and firesides and things, and now I am 1000% more grateful and I totally understand all the things that they go through now. Like, I had an idea, but honestly, I had NO IDEA.

So grateful for this Christmas season! I'm grateful for #LightTheWorld and the opportunities for love and service that I have to share my love and to serve those around me. Hope you have a non-stressful and very pleasant week! I'll post how the Fireside goes later in a new post! Happy Sunday!

Xoxo
Mattie

Focus and remember.

I've got a lot I have to do in the next couple of days before Thanksgiving Break. My professors (at least two of them) decided to have everything due the day before break. And of course I work late both Monday and Tuesday since Tuesday is a Friday schedule, and I'm really worried I won't get my assignments done/turned, or my test taken. But I just need to be patient, take things one at a time and go slow. And, of course, ask my Heavenly Father for help. As long as I focus, and work hard, I think I will be fine. It's just a matter of finding my focus. Well, actually, I know my focus: it's my Savior. I just need to remember to focus on His help, and trust in Him, and do my part to work hard. He will bless me. I know He will. I just need to focus and remember.

Something that Sister DeVincent said in her talk in sacrament meeting today really stood out to me. She said, the Lord blesses those who want to improve.  I loved that! When you have a desire to improve, He'll help you.

Brother DeVincent said that as you keep the commandments, God will bless you as He says. It might take some time, but He will bless you.

In temple prep we talked about the blessings of the temple, and one thing that the Bushmans said was that going to the temple blesses us and brings us closer to the Spirit, and to our Heavenly Father. You'll never regret going to the temple.

In Relief Society, we talked about missionary work, and the main thing we talked about was loving them. Don't preach, don't tear down, or whatever. Just love them. Be yourself. Live the way you live, and answer questions they have. But don't force it on them. Just love them. When they're ready, they'll be able to move forward. We also talked about how we need to be living our lives in such a way that God can use us an instrument in His hands and to help move His work forward.

I am so happy for the things that I learned today! It was a relaxing day!

I'm so excited! The choir sang in sacrament meeting today and it was SO GOOD!! I am SO pleased with the way that the number turned out! We sang "For the Beauty of the Earth" and it was so pretty!! And now we get to focus on our Christmas music for the fireside in three weeks! Eee! Three weeks! That's so far away and yet, so close!! I'm super excited! The numbers are coming along nicely and I am just super ecstatic for the fireside! It's going to be really fun and spiritual! I can't wait!!

Hope you have a fun and safe week! Travel safely, for those traveling for Thanksgiving. Enjoy your time with family and friends. :)

Xoxo
Mattie

"The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay."

I'm not perfect.

Sometimes people get on my nerves and I get really annoyed. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I do. I try not to let it show, but sometimes my temper gets the best of me, and my words come out biting, short, clipped. I wonder how it makes them feel. Does it bother them? Can they ever tell? Is it all in my head, and I just think it's obvious and sounds that way? I think sometimes they can tell. It makes me feel bad, using my words in a not-so-nice way. I know how it feels. I know how it hurts. But tempers are a fickle thing, and I'm only human. So I'm bound to make a mistake, have a misstep. All that really matters is that I repent and try again. And again. And again. Thankfully, my Savior is there to give me a hand. I couldn't do it without Him. Someday, I'll be perfect. But, for now, I'll just apologize and try again.


Church today was amazing!!

The choir sang today and it was so good!! I got a lot of compliments on the beauty of the piece, and how it brought the Spirit, and that made me feel really happy, because that is the point of my calling, and the point of the choir's musical numbers: to bring the Spirit. So when I get people thanking me, and telling me the choir sounded beautiful, it makes me happy. It makes me feel like I'm making a difference. :)

The topic in sacrament meeting today was conversion. There were a few things that were said that really stood out to me. Conversion takes time; it's a process. Being converted and having a testimony aren't necessarily the same thing. The Lord expects us to have faith, and we must do all we can to fortify ourselves spiritually.

In Sunday School, we talked about the pioneers. Someone said that a major part of understanding our trials is by being humble enough to ask God why we have these trials. Trials force us to be less complacent in life, and make a decision. Nate shared a quote that I loved, "The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company", and I feel like the beginning portion in italics can be applied to us. The price we pay to become acquainted with God is worth it, and is a privilege to pay. It's so amazing that He trusts us and loves us enough to let us become acquainted with Him!

Relief Society was awesome! My roommate shared a few questions that I loved and think can apply to life in a lot of different ways:
-Are you trying to do this by yourself?
-Do you need to?
-Will you let Him help you?
She said that we are yoked to Christ, and He goes one by one, step by step, and from grace to grace.

There is a mission for us. There's a mission for me. And a mission for you. We are all here for a purpose. God wants us to try and, He wants us to work hard. And He will be there for us, and He will bless us.

I'm so thankful that I have learned so much this past month, from General Conference, and stake conference, and ward conference. There has been a lot I've learned, and needed to hear, and needed reminders of. I'm needed here. I'm loved. I'm wanted. And I need to learn to love and accept myself. I'm working on it, and I think it's going really well.

I hope you have a wonderful Sabbath Day! I love you and wish you the best week!

Xoxo
Mattie