He believes in me.

Camp is over! I am now home! Yesterday was exhausting physically and emotionally. I am so sad to have left all my friends but am so excited to be moving forward with my life. It was a great experience and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I was pondering a question this week. Why do I believe in God? Honestly, I believe in God because He has blessed my life in so many ways. Through the people I have met, and the experiences I've had, I have seen His hand in my life. There have been times I wondered if He was really there, or even listening, but I had faith and hope that He is and was, and somehow that was enough.

I know He is there, and I know He listens. No one knows and loves you better than Him. I believe in God because He believes in me.

I had this thought the other day: Peace comes in many forms. Pain comes in many forms. Sometimes they are one and the same. But no matter what, God will always be there. He will be there to give you peace, and He will be there to help alleviate the pain. It might not always go away, but He will be there to support and lift you.

I honestly don't know how to describe how I know He is there. I just know.

Last week, I had the opportunity to go to the Star Party for the first time all summer, and it was AMAZING!! The sky was so beautiful and the stars were just gorgeous! I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to spend the whole summer at Bear Lake!! It was just such a wonderful experience! Each day was a beautiful adventure! Just look at this view!!

Bear Lake from Camp Hunt - August 11, 2018

I'm so, so, so grateful for my Heavenly Father. I know that He made this summer possible. I know that all of the people that I met this summer were people that I needed in my life. I know that I needed the clarity of mind that comes from being at peace in nature to try and make some goals to help make my life a little better. 

I know that I needed the experience of being accepted COMPLETELY for who I am to give me the confidence that I need to go out into the world and be myself. I know that I was needed by some of the people at camp. I know that everyone needed my (mostly) positive outlook on life, and I know that they all needed the love that I tried to give them. I know that God trusts me, and believes in me. He gave me quite the summer experience in which I did a lot of hard things. He put so many of His children into my life this summer, and He entrusted me with making sure they felt–and feel–loved. I hope I was able to fulfill His expectations of me this summer.

I know that somehow this summer was exactly what I expected, and yet, it was NOTHING like what I expected. And I know that's how God works. We have all these expectations from Him, or from life, and nothing ever goes exactly how we expect it to; except, somehow, having nothing go how we expected it to was exactly what we expected. 

I might not know what this whole next year has in store for me, but I do know this: it's going to be an adventure, and I'm going to have God on my side. 

I hope these last couple weeks before school starts are full of fun for you guys!! I know I'm going to have a lot of fun! 

God loves you, I love you, and YOU MATTER. Don't forget that. You are needed in this world. You give something to this world that no one else can give. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Progress, not perfection.

It's been a beautiful week coming back to camp! I was well-rested from my time at home and I had a lot of energy the first couple of days. It has mellowed out now and I can control it more, but it's still there.

This week I've been trying to be more Christlike. I've been trying to be nicer, more thoughtful, and more focused on my tasks that I have to do–there's more but those are the top three. I'm not perfect at them, but I'm proud of my progress so far. 

Pat–our camp chaplain–shares a quote each day at breakfast. The quote the other day was: "God doesn't expect perfection but He does expect progress." For some reason that really resonated with me. Maybe because of all the failures I've had with overcoming and fixing different parts of me. Or maybe not, I don't know. What I do know is this: I'm trying to be better each day than I was the day before, each day I've made some progress, and ANY amount of progress is okay! As long as you are working to make an effort, God is proud of you. 

There's a spot in camp that I like to go on Saturdays because it's really peaceful and quiet, and out of the way of other people. I go there to sit, think, and ponder. I go there when I'm in need of a break, or when I am just in need of time for me without other people. Since I'm alone, I talk to Heavenly Father out loud. It gets really emotional really fast, but it's really helpful for me to talk to Him about all of the things I'm going through because He completely understands. And the great thing is that even when I'm completely indecipherable or inconsolable, the peace of the water around me, the sounds of the birds–they all help bring me back to earth. 

I've learned a lot this summer. And I'm sure I still have more to learn. But I've learned that even when I don't feel Him, relying on my Heavenly Father keeps me grounded. I've learned that He's always blessing me–even when I don't always hear Him. I've learned that even when I feel like I don't make a difference, and when I feel unnoticed, I am making a difference–somehow, to someone, I am making a difference. It's true that I might not always be noticed, but more often than not I am noticed, and I am missed. 

I don't know what kind of impact I'm going to have on the world. Or even if I will have an impact on the world. But I do know this: the world is going to have an impact on me. And I can't wait to find it, and feel it. 

I hope you have a beautiful week!! I hope you find someone who needs your help and love, and I hope you find something new and special about yourself. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Life is meant for learning who you are.

This week I'm home for the Fourth of July!! I am so excited!! I'm grateful to have an opportunity to rest and relax, and spend time with my family! And I was able to see a bunch of friends from my ward at Cinnamon Tree this weekend and it was SO good to see them!! I really miss them!!

I'm so thankful for the opportunity I have to be working at Bear Lake this summer! It has been a real blast so far!! Difficult, yes. Trying, yes. But...it's super fun–the other staffers are great, and we have a lot of amazing times together. :)

I am so thankful for my Savior, and all that He has done for me. Since I've been at camp, some of my struggles have gone down a lot. They're still there, of course, but since I'm busy every day (and tired every day lol), and I've got a lot of things to do when I'm not working (reading, listening to music, writing, eating, watching movies or shows, talking with my friends up at camp, etc.), I am able to march through, and I'm able to stay strong.

I love the peace that I find at Bear Lake, and I love the spirit that I feel–there's an amazing feeling that I just can't describe. Reading the scriptures in the morning while the sun rises has been such a wonderful experience. There are several answers that I am hoping to receive this summer, and I am so thankful that I get to be out in nature, feeling peace, and the Spirit, and trying to figure things out–who I am, where I'm going, what I want to do with my life, why I am where I am when I am.

Humans desire and crave connections with other people. But we also crave a more spiritual connection–with the world, with God–with whatever you believe in. I am so thankful to be able to have the opportunity to spend time in nature this summer, and to feel my testimony grow, and to become more comfortable in who I am. That's what life is about, right? Learning to find and be comfortable with yourself.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this week, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the summer. I've already learned a lot about myself and I am excited to see what else I am going to be learning about myself, and about life in general.

An awesome God, wonderful adventures, fantastic family, and loving friends are all beautiful additions to–nay, are the reason for this amazing life that I call mine. I hope you all have a wonderful week!! <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Daily scripture study changes lives.

Man, what a week!! We had our first group of scouts, and it was crazy! But we did it!! We had a lot of challenges, as is expected with teen boys, but we learned and grew as a staff. Next week will bring more challenges and lessons but it will be worth it!

I have really been blessed this week as I've studied my scriptures each night. I'm able to get more out of my experiences here at camp, and I am able to be more in tune with the Spirit, as well as be more determined and capable of working hard. This week I've been reading in First Nephi Chapters 1 and 2. There are a couple of things that stood out to me that I thought were profound and wanted to share. 

One thing I noticed was that in chapter one, Nephi makes a statement that he is first going to be making an abridgement of his father's record, and then he will make his record. How awesome is that? Nephi was doing family history before it was cool. I recently finished a book series by Richard Paul Evans, entitled The Walk. And there is a part in one of the books where the main character's father writes the history of his family at least three generations back. And I just thought, "how cool is that?" Family history is becoming a worldwide thing. And Nephi did it before it was cool. 

In chapter two, Nephi says that the Lord "did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father". Which means that Nephi, at one point, did not fully believe. However, unlike Laman and Lemuel, he did not harden his heart, so he was able to be converted, and believe his father's words.

I know that daily scripture study changes lives. I've seen the impact that it has on not only my life, but my friends' lives. I've seen the wonderful changes in them that it has had. I'm grateful to have so many wonderful examples of how important daily scripture study is. And I'm grateful to be blessed with so many amazing people to love and look up to. I know they love me, too, even when we're miles and miles apart.

I'm really grateful for the scriptures. I'm grateful for Joseph Smith's sacrifices to translate the Book of Mormon. I'm grateful for Mormon, and his dedication to abridging the book and making sure everything we would need is in there. I'm grateful for the pieces of truth that they hold, and for the ones that I've learned this week as I've studied them. I'm grateful for the light that they bring to my life. I'm grateful for the beauty of Bear Lake, and for my wonderful co-workers. I'm blessed each and every day by their examples, humor, service, and love. It's been a hard week but we've gotten through it together, and we all build each other up as often as we can. It's been an amazing experience and I can't believe we're going to be on week three this week!!

I'm grateful for my Father in Heaven, and for the love that He shows me each and every day. I'm grateful for the beauty of the world around me, and for the chance I have this summer to be surrounded. I'm grateful for my Savior, and for His sacrifice and love. Since it's Father's Day, I can't forget my own dad. I love him so much! I'm grateful for all that he does for me. I'm grateful for all the father figures in my life—my uncles, grandpas, and the other men in my life that I look up to. You are all wonderful examples of what real men are supposed to be like. Thank you for showing me how a man is supposed to treat the women in his life. Thank you for being willing to serve. And thank you for being willing to be soft and emotional, even when the world tells you you need to be tough and stoic.

I hope everyone is having a great summer!! Don't forget to wear sunscreen and drink water!! And remember who you are, and whose you are. God loves you very much and has many blessings in store for you. Be patient and remember that everything will work out in the end. Love you!! 💜

Xoxo
Mattie

That's all we can do.

Well my first week at camp is over!!! Man has it been a CRAZY week!! There's been a lot of things happening, but it's been really fun overall! I'm so tired and sore but I'm sure that it will get better in the upcoming week(s) as I get used to all the physical activity that my body is going through. 

There are a lot of things that I learned this week already! Here's a few of them:

1) It's difficult to cook for a ton of teenage boys!! They really like to eat!

2) All boys have the same sense of humor. They think they're so funny but after the first few times, my response is just a groan of annoyance. 

3) Every little thing will be all right. Somehow you'll make it through the day. 

4) Sometimes you have to take a day because you're not feeling well, and that's okay. It's better to rest and build up your strength than to run yourself weary. 

I decided to start reading the Book of Mormon from the very top this week. And I wanted to include the introduction, the testimonies, and the brief explanation of the Book of Mormon. And I discovered something I'd never noticed before. In the brief introduction, it states that, "The original title page, immediately preceding the contents pages, is taken from the plates and is part of the sacred text. Introductions in a non-italic typeface, such as in 1 Nephi...are also part of the sacred text." I had always known that the chapter headings were an addition to the book to let the reader know what's going on. I had little to no idea (AKA either absolutely no idea, or I hadn't consciously made the connection) that the title page and non-italic headings were actually part of the gold plates. I think that's so cool.

I was reading in Joseph Smith's testimony the other day and one thing that I noticed that I have never noticed before was the fact that Joseph actually saw Moroni go up into heaven! I think that that's so amazing! One thing that I really admire about Joseph is just how much he tried to obey God, and how hard he tried to learn from his mistakes. He wasn't perfect, but he really tried to do his best. And that's all that we can do. 

Don't give up. Just because you've made a miatake—big or small—doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. It's just a stumbling block...a learning curve/experience that will help you become a better person. Pick yourself up—or ask for someone to help you up—and try again. Because that's all we can do. Try again. We're not perfect, and we're going to make mistakes. Sometimes we'll make the same mistakes over and over again. Just remember: You are loved. God wants you to prevail. He loves you and trusts you, and wants you to come home to Him. And He is going to do all He can to make sure that you can come home if you want to. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Summer is always a great opportunity to try something new and to have a lot of fun! I'm grateful for the experiences that I've already had this week and I'm looking forward to having many more this summer! I hope you guys do something fun this week!! :)

Xoxo

Mattie