Look forward with faith.

Well first off, I'm happy to be back in Provo! I loved being home but am grateful to be going back to school and work, and having a set schedule. I almost didn't make it back though haha we had some car troubles yesterday trying to run an errand but I made it!
It's been almost a week since the new year began and I am really proud of myself because I have been writing in my journal and reading the scriptures every day so far! I have felt the influence in my life. I am grateful for the new year, and for the new week, giving me a chance to start over and try again. Try to be stronger, kinder, more loving and compassionate. I am grateful for the example of my Savior, and of Nephi, who was strong and had faith and still believed, even when his brothers bound him up.
Life comes with all sorts of challenges we don't expect or want, but God is with us always, so we don't have to go through them alone. 

In our program today, there was a quote by President Thomas S. Monson, who recently passed away, and I loved the quote and so I wanted to share it here. It is, "Although it is imperative that we choose wisely, there are times when we will make foolish choices. The gift of repentance, provided by our Savior, enables us to correct our course settings, that we might return to the path which will lead us to that celestial glory we seek." I loved this!! Even though we make mistakes–sometimes drastic ones that have terrible consequences–WE CAN REPENT AND RETURN. We can start again. We can try again. We can change again.

There were a few things people said in their testimonies in sacrament meeting today that I loved and wanted to share:
-God is mindful of you.
-Do your best and God will take care of the rest.
-No matter what happens, everything will be okay.
-Joy is available to us through the grace of Jesus Christ.

I loved these because these are exactly what I needed to hear today. Life is hard, and challenging, and difficult, and for the longest time I thought I could handle it by myself. But I found out that I can't. I really do need my Savior. And I forget that God is mindful of me sometimes. Sometimes I feel alone, and lost, and forgotten, especially when I pray for God to send someone to me when I am feeling low, and no one comes. But in those moments, I found strength. In those moments, I thought I needed someone, and maybe there were times when I really did, but because I didn't have anyone, I found that someone in myself.

Gospel Principles was amazing, as always! Here are some of my favorite snippets:
-Your faith is enough. Whatever you have is enough.
-Faith is imperfect, but His grace is NOT.
-You are enough. Your faith is enough, your belief is enough. As long as it moves you forward, it is enough.
-Faith pushes you to progress, not feel inadequate.
-Sometimes God just trusts us to make a decision. He gave us our agency, and sometimes we are just picking between two good things and we can choose. He trusts us. So make a decision and go to Him with your decision.

Relief Society was wonderful and I loved this part of a scripture that was shared. It's Genesis 19:17, and the part that we focused on was, "Look not behind thee." The past should not be our focus. "The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." ~Rafiki. We need to learn from the past, but keep moving forward.

Carrie shared part of a quote that I first heard a long time ago, but always loved. She said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." We are afraid that we actually CAN do all these things and it holds us back. But we shouldn't let it. We need to look forward with faith.

I am so grateful for the lessons today. Wonderful, wonderful messages were shared, and I learned a lot. I wanted to share something about my scripture study last night. I was reading in 1 Nephi 6, and noticed as Nephi was talking to Laman and Lemuel that he said, "How is it that ye have forgotten" three times! I made a note in my notes about it. I said, "There is a reason the Lord tells us to remember all the time. When we forget, we become as Laman and Lemuel–bitter and resentful, and inconsiderate and not compassionate." We need to remember all that the Lord has done for us, and hold on to those memories when we are low. We need to have faith that there will be new blessings, new tender mercies, and new spiritual experiences. When we are down, we need to remember what the Lord has done for us, and we need to remember who we are, and have faith that things will look up. Your faith doesn't have to be something big, either. It could be accepting the fact that you have doubts. It could be accepting that you don't know everything. Whatever your faith is, it is enough.

Remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH. God takes you as you are and He helps you become better, stronger, kinder, wiser, more compassionate, more loving. He blesses you and uses you to bless others. You have a part in His plan, and He has a plan for you. He loves you very much and is always waiting with open arms for you to turn to Him again.

Xoxo
Mattie

Repentance is a choice, and repentance is change.

Today I had the privilege of going to two of my friends' missionary farewells. They gave such great talks!! I'm so excited for them! They are going to be amazing missionaries and I can't wait to see how much they've grown and changed when they come back in a year and a half. 

One of my friends talked about repentance, and I just found this really good quote about repentance and God's love for us:

"Though we disregard His counsel, break His commandments, and reject Him, when we recognize our mistakes and desire to repent, He wants us to seek Him out and He will accept us" (God's Love for Us Transcends Our Transgressions, Ronald E. Poelman, April 1982 General Conference). 

Sometimes I think we think that's it's so crazy that God can still love us, even after all the sins we've done and mistakes we've made. That reminds me of this scripture in 2nd Nephi:

20 And now, my brethren, I have spoken plainly that ye cannot err. And as the Lord God liveth that brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt, and gave unto Moses power that he should heal the nations after they had been bitten by the poisonous serpents, if they would cast their eyes unto the serpent which he did raise up before them, and also gave him power that he should smite the rock and the water should come forth; yea, behold I say unto you, that as these things are true, and as the Lord God liveth, there is none other name given under heaven save it be this Jesus Christ, of which I have spoken, whereby man can be saved. (2 Nephi 25:20)

I know that repentance isn't that easy, but it does take effort–just like the effort the nations needed to take. All they had to do to be healed was to look on the serpent that Moses "did raise up before them". Heavenly Father wants us to turn to Him, and to trust in Him. All we have to do is to turn to Him. Repentance is a choice that we have to consciously make. Elder Neil L. Andersen said that, "When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God" (Repent... That I May Heal You, October 2009 General Conference). Repentance is "re-turning" to God. Yes, repentance isn't easy, and it takes effort, but I know that it is more than worth it. It has brought me feelings of love, acceptance, peace, and understanding beyond anything I ever could have imagined. It has changed my life when I needed help to change, and it has helped me to heal when I so desperately needed healing. I am so grateful for my Savior and for His sacrifice for me. I would not be who I am today without Him and without His Atonement.

Repentance leads to happiness.

I know, I know...another post today...I just couldn't let this one go.
From Elder Neil L. Andersen's talk "Repent...That I May Heal You":

"When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God." "Repentance is turning away  from some things, such as dishonesty, pride, anger, and impure thoughts, and turning toward other things, such as kindness, unselfishness, patience, and spirituality. It is “re-turning” toward God." "Don’t be discouraged." "Repentance always means that there is greater happiness ahead."

I love these. Repentance is a change. It is not just turning to God, it is re-turning to God. We shouldn’t be discouraged because things will work out in their own time. Repentance is a change, and a process, but it is also a choice…a choice that leads to happiness. <3 I know from personal experience that repentance definitely is a choice that leads to happiness. Being forgiven and clean and promising to never do it again makes me happier than living in regret and continuing to sin. Remember that it is never too late to repent. <3

Christ and His Atonement are always there for us.

Today we learned about the Atonement. I'm so, so grateful for the Atonement. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without the Atonement. It's helped me in so many ways...when I've done something wrong, when I've felt alone, when I've felt lost, when I get hurt, when I've felt sad...Christ (and His Atonement) has always been there for me, and I'm so thankful. I'm thankful that He didn't just suffer for my sins, He suffered for my pains, my afflictions, when I've had to deal with death—He suffered for all of that. He's the only one who knows EXACTLY how I feel. I mean, sure, people who have been through similar situations can kind of sympathize. Also those who have gone through the deaths that I have have felt as sad as I did, surely, but we all went through it differently, and He is the only one who knows exactly how we dealt with it, and I'm grateful that I'm not the only one who knows what I go through in life. There are times when I am extremely disappointed in myself and I feel really bad but I know that He is right there, waiting for me to make things right. Even when I don't deserve it. Even when I was so, so stupid and I did something so, so wrong and I definitely didn't deserve to be forgiven, He was (and is) right there—waiting for me to forgive myself so I can move on with my life. I know there are times when we don't feel worthy, but we need to repent. We need to change—change our heart, and our actions, and our circumstances. We sometimes try to, but we can't do it alone, which is why Heavenly Father gave us His Son, Jesus Christ. So we don't have to do it alone. We never have to do it alone. It's so hard to do it alone, so please turn to Him. He loves you so much.