Life is hard, but that's why God gave us mothers.

Happy Mother's Day! I am so thankful for my mother! She has sacrificed so much for my family, and for me. I am so grateful for her love and support, and her example to me.

I am grateful for the teachings of the prophets on women and motherhood. In the October 2018 Women's Session of General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson, "Every woman is a mother by virtue of her eternal divine destiny." He goes on to discuss how special the influence of women is on the world, and how we tend to think of others first, and how things that we do will affect people.

In the October 2017 General Conference, Sister Joy D. Jones, second counselor in the Primary General Presidency, shared a quote from President Spencer W. Kimball, who said, "God is your Father. He loves you. He and your Mother in Heaven value you beyond any measure.  ... You are unique. One of a kind, made of the eternal intelligence which gives you claim upon eternal life. Let there be no question in your mind about your value as an individual. The whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for each of you to reach your fullest potential, which is eternal progression and the possibility of godhood." She then went on to discuss the difference between worth and worthiness. Our worth–as a child of God, as a human, as a person–is unchanging. He loves us, and when we value ourselves as He does, we can learn and grow immensely, because we are able to see ourselves as He does.

In the April 2016 General Conference, Sister Neill F. Marriott, second counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, quotes Elder Orson F. Whitney, who said, "All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, ... purifies our hearts ... and makes us more tender and charitable, ... and it is through ... trial and tribulation, that we gain the education ... which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven." She said, "The Lord's Church needs Spirit-directed women who use their unique gifts to nurture, to speak up, and to defend gospel truth. Our inspiration and intuition are necessary parts of building the kingdom of God, which really means doing our part to bring salvation to God's children." I love this quote, because I know so many women who are so, so special, spiritual, nurturing, and intelligent. They are wonderful examples to me of how to listen to the promptings of the Spirit, and how to be loving and nurturing. 

Mothers that I know and love have often shared with me how inadequate they feel, and how they feel like they are failing their children, and their Father in Heaven, who entrusted these precious souls of His to them. I am going to tell you one thing:

YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

All that you have to offer your family is enough. Your children need your influence, and your love and support. Not only that, but those around you need your love and support. There have been many, many, many women in my life who have been mothers to me–even if they weren't mothers, and even if they weren't married. 

I have had women in my life who were my roommates, and they mothered me as often as I needed it. They loved me, and cared for me, but it was just natural. They didn't go out of their way to do it. They just did it. They listened, loved, and served me.

I have had women in my life who were leaders at church, or one of the bishopric member's wives, and they mothered me and gave me so much love–I always felt loved and at home, even when I wasn't at home. 

I have had all kinds of women in my life who have mothered me, and they all listened, loved, and served me–and THAT is motherhood. Listening, loving, and serving; that's all there is to it! I am so grateful for the women in my life who have made time for me, and who have blessed me, and helped me.

I hope that, as I have been growing and learning in the last few years, and as I have served and helped those in my life, I hope that I blessed their life as much as the women in my life have blessed my life.

Life is hard, but that is why God gave us MOTHERS! 💜

Happy Mother's Day!

Xoxo

Mattie

He takes you as you are.

What a week! I was working on getting all the important things off my computer so I could get a new one, which I was able to get yesterday! I am so excited! The screen is so big and it runs way faster! I am excited to use it!
It's also been kind of an emotional week. I've been sick and not feeling well, and I've also been extremely tired, even when I have gotten more than enough sleep, so it's just been an extremely long week.
But! I have also been so productive this week! I have been able to get a lot done and I have also (on the whole) been a lot happier. I am grateful for the beautiful tender mercies this week, two of which were scriptures that I read when I was feeling down that were able to lift me up. I'm grateful for my Savior's help, guidance, and love. I know that a lot of things this week were only possible because of Him. I am grateful for all He does for me, and for the support He gives, and for the people He puts in my life to love me and lift me up.

Today was Fast Sunday in our ward, so it was testimony meeting today, and I didn't take a lot of notes–mainly I just listened–but there were a few things that I loved and took notes on that I wanted to share.

-We can't hide anything from God. He knows exactly what we're feeling and thinking. But He is merciful. He wants us to be open–open to Him, open to change, open to the possibility of change. If we give up what we want for God, He will give us blessings.
-When we turn to the Savior, He can and will make us more than we can by ourselves. When Christ asks us to do things, even when they don't make sense, He makes it work, and He makes it worth it.

In Gospel Principles we talked about love. And while we were talking about things that made us feel like we were alone and not loved, I thought about two different songs that are some of my favorites. The first is called "Broken & Beautiful" and it's a new song by Calee Reed but it is amaaaazing!!!! I love it so much!! No matter what, we are always loved by Him. It's sometimes hard to see how God can make something wonderful out of our broken pieces, but I know He does. I know that sometimes it's hard to go through trials in this life, but I also know that you are not alone. God loves you, and sends you angels when you need them. He sent His Son to die for us so that we would not be alone in our darkest moments. He sent His Son to be with us in those moments, and to lift us up, and carry us when we can't go on by ourself. He sent His Son to help us put the pieces back together. He sent His Son to remind us that we might be broken, but we are still beautiful.

The other song is called "Better Than A Hallelujah", and this version is by Amy Grant but there is another version by Mercy River that is also amaaaazing! I love this song SO MUCH because the message of this song is that God takes what you give. He accepts it and makes it better. YOU ARE ENOUGH. He takes you as you are. And your feelings are not weakness. Your feelings are strengths. God wants you to come to Him, no matter where you are. He will take you where you stand, and He will help you become better. 

We also talked about how it is okay to be blind, and to just keep walking in faith. And when you feel alone and forgotten, and lost, remember that you are not the only one who has felt so! Heavenly Father left Christ, too. Have mercy on yourself, and remember to ask God for help. Remember to tell Him EVERYTHING. Tell Him you can't feel Him. Be open with Him. He knows all, but wants to hear it from you. He cares so much about you–He doesn't want you suffering or hurting. He wants to bring peace to your life, and He wants to give you strength. But He can't do that if you won't talk to Him or go to Him. So take the time to go to Him, and share with Him your feelings and thoughts. If it is important to you, it is important to Him. BUT He does have a plan for you, so your timetables might not match up together, but that is okay. Just trust Him. :)

I am so thankful for the blessings I receive in my life. I am so thankful for the people in my life. I am so thankful for the love that I feel and for the grace that I receive. I am so grateful for my Savior, and for His love and guidance, and the moments that He has lifted me up when I couldn't find the strength to stand. I am grateful for the power of music. I am grateful for love. I am grateful for peace. I am grateful for confidence and patience. I am grateful for grace. I am grateful for mercy. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. 

Xoxo
Mattie

Look forward with faith.

Well first off, I'm happy to be back in Provo! I loved being home but am grateful to be going back to school and work, and having a set schedule. I almost didn't make it back though haha we had some car troubles yesterday trying to run an errand but I made it!
It's been almost a week since the new year began and I am really proud of myself because I have been writing in my journal and reading the scriptures every day so far! I have felt the influence in my life. I am grateful for the new year, and for the new week, giving me a chance to start over and try again. Try to be stronger, kinder, more loving and compassionate. I am grateful for the example of my Savior, and of Nephi, who was strong and had faith and still believed, even when his brothers bound him up.
Life comes with all sorts of challenges we don't expect or want, but God is with us always, so we don't have to go through them alone. 

In our program today, there was a quote by President Thomas S. Monson, who recently passed away, and I loved the quote and so I wanted to share it here. It is, "Although it is imperative that we choose wisely, there are times when we will make foolish choices. The gift of repentance, provided by our Savior, enables us to correct our course settings, that we might return to the path which will lead us to that celestial glory we seek." I loved this!! Even though we make mistakes–sometimes drastic ones that have terrible consequences–WE CAN REPENT AND RETURN. We can start again. We can try again. We can change again.

There were a few things people said in their testimonies in sacrament meeting today that I loved and wanted to share:
-God is mindful of you.
-Do your best and God will take care of the rest.
-No matter what happens, everything will be okay.
-Joy is available to us through the grace of Jesus Christ.

I loved these because these are exactly what I needed to hear today. Life is hard, and challenging, and difficult, and for the longest time I thought I could handle it by myself. But I found out that I can't. I really do need my Savior. And I forget that God is mindful of me sometimes. Sometimes I feel alone, and lost, and forgotten, especially when I pray for God to send someone to me when I am feeling low, and no one comes. But in those moments, I found strength. In those moments, I thought I needed someone, and maybe there were times when I really did, but because I didn't have anyone, I found that someone in myself.

Gospel Principles was amazing, as always! Here are some of my favorite snippets:
-Your faith is enough. Whatever you have is enough.
-Faith is imperfect, but His grace is NOT.
-You are enough. Your faith is enough, your belief is enough. As long as it moves you forward, it is enough.
-Faith pushes you to progress, not feel inadequate.
-Sometimes God just trusts us to make a decision. He gave us our agency, and sometimes we are just picking between two good things and we can choose. He trusts us. So make a decision and go to Him with your decision.

Relief Society was wonderful and I loved this part of a scripture that was shared. It's Genesis 19:17, and the part that we focused on was, "Look not behind thee." The past should not be our focus. "The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." ~Rafiki. We need to learn from the past, but keep moving forward.

Carrie shared part of a quote that I first heard a long time ago, but always loved. She said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." We are afraid that we actually CAN do all these things and it holds us back. But we shouldn't let it. We need to look forward with faith.

I am so grateful for the lessons today. Wonderful, wonderful messages were shared, and I learned a lot. I wanted to share something about my scripture study last night. I was reading in 1 Nephi 6, and noticed as Nephi was talking to Laman and Lemuel that he said, "How is it that ye have forgotten" three times! I made a note in my notes about it. I said, "There is a reason the Lord tells us to remember all the time. When we forget, we become as Laman and Lemuel–bitter and resentful, and inconsiderate and not compassionate." We need to remember all that the Lord has done for us, and hold on to those memories when we are low. We need to have faith that there will be new blessings, new tender mercies, and new spiritual experiences. When we are down, we need to remember what the Lord has done for us, and we need to remember who we are, and have faith that things will look up. Your faith doesn't have to be something big, either. It could be accepting the fact that you have doubts. It could be accepting that you don't know everything. Whatever your faith is, it is enough.

Remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH. God takes you as you are and He helps you become better, stronger, kinder, wiser, more compassionate, more loving. He blesses you and uses you to bless others. You have a part in His plan, and He has a plan for you. He loves you very much and is always waiting with open arms for you to turn to Him again.

Xoxo
Mattie

Humility is having self-compassion.

I'm grateful for the rain! Yeah, it's cold, and wet, but it's peaceful and means it's time for sweater weather! Ready to read some thoughts I've been having lately? Sweet–let's go!

So grateful for the opportunity to listen to/watch the General Women's Session of Conference last night! It was a wonderfully uplifting session! SO excited for General Conference next weekend! I'm also grateful for the weekend that I've had, alone though I was. My roommates all went to a Relief Society overnight trip our ward was having. I wanted to go but couldn't get anyone to cover for me. Anyway, I did have fun, and I learned some things. For example, I learned there is a medicine that sufficiently helps me feel better when I've had a headache all week and its intensity worsened on Saturday (grateful my coworker had some!). I also learned a lot from the conference session last night. While I was listening to Sister Eubank's talk on the way home from work, I had an amazing and profound thought that has been growing for a few weeks now: "Being humble doesn't mean you can degrade yourself or believe you have a negative self worth." Something she said just sparked that thought, and I'm so grateful it did because it was something I've needed to hear for awhile. I'm also grateful for my Savior, who blessed me this week and weekend, and for the fact that, as I've followed my new therapist's advice to be more self-compassionate, and as I've been reading my scriptures and praying more consistently, my week has just been so much better! Despite the headaches, and the crazy week, overall it was just better than last week. I was less stressed, and less anxious, and less depressed. I'm grateful for that experience. It gives me hope for the future. :)

I went to Gospel Principles today, and today we talked about Jesus Christ. There were honestly just a lot of really great things that were said about Him, so I'm just going to list them:
-Jesus should be relatable. Someone we trust to talk to.
-God has never asked for anything but faith from us.
-Christ loves us for who we are right now. He'll turn our weaknesses to strengths. He takes what we already are and turns us into a better version of ourselves.
-You are ENOUGH.
-Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be happy.

Relief Society was awesome! My roommates were teaching today :)
-One thing that Dahlia said that I really liked was that, "Only a perfect person can really see all our imperfections." She said something about how you know how much you've grown or learned when you look back, and see how little you knew way back when. And only Jesus Christ can really see all our imperfections. Sure, we know we're imperfect. But we don't know just how imperfect we are because we ourselves are not perfect.
-God wants us to be happy was repeated again, but also it's just such a true statement. God wants us to be happy, no matter who we are, or where we are in life.

I was bearing my testimony after the lesson, and I said, "Humility is having self-compassion." Humility is learning to love yourself as you are. Humility isn't, as I've said, 'degrad[ing] yourself or believ[ing] you have a negative self worth.' Humility is learning to love and accept yourself–flaws and all. It is something that I have been struggling with, but I have been working on it, and it has made me happier. Praying and reading my scriptures daily, or more daily, has also really helped. Together, working on these little things has made me happier, and brought more peace into my life. I challenge you to do the same. You don't have to work on them all at the same time, like I am, but I promise you that you will be blessed in your efforts.

Xoxo
Mattie