Do we love God even through the hard times?

Well it's been quite a week! I found out I have to get a root canal! 😩 So that's not exciting. If you could please pray for me, my appointment is Tuesday morning at 11:30. 

Aside from that, however, it was a pretty uneventful week. This weekend, though, was pretty eventful! BYU won our football game against McNeese State, so that was awesome!! I loved cheering for my Cougars!! #proudtobleedblue But I was so unmotivated yesterday!!!! Ugh!! I have a lot of things due this week and I didn't get nearly as much done as I wanted to. 😞  It doesn't help that I've been super tired the last couple of days. I think it's because I've been taking a lot of meds for the pain from my tooth...and it seems like they make me sleepy. 😴

ANYWAY. Enough about my life this week. 

Heavenly Father. He's amazing. He really is. I'm blessed that I was able to get an appointment for the root canal so soon. Like, I literally went to the dentist last Wednesday, called the endodontist's office on Thursday, and got an appointment for Tuesday morning. #blessings

I also was able to make a list of all the things I've got due this week. So even though I didn't get as much done as I wanted, I know exactly what I need to do for homework this week and by what day. #smallvictories

And the best part of the week was the fact that I was able to spend some time with an older gentleman in the rehab center I've started volunteering in for one of my classes, and he reminded me so much of my Great-Grandpa Harker. It was just such a blessing, and brought back some great memories. #familiesareforever

I was thinking during the sacrament today, as I always do. It's a beautiful time I have each week to ponder, and prepare for the upcoming week. 

Today I was thinking about how sometimes it's hard to remember all the things that I have covenanted with my Heavenly Father. And I'm sure that, during the week, I have not done all that I should do. But I am grateful for the opportunity I have each Sunday to partake of the sacrament, and be cleansed, and renew my covenants with Him. I am grateful for all of the chances that He has given me, and continues to give me, to try again. It just reaffirms to me how important I am to Him, and how much He loves me, if He keeps giving me chances to try again and do what's right every day. Some people don't get it–they don't get what I believe, and they judge my church, and my beliefs, when they don't don't even know what my church is really about–but honestly, when it comes down to it, I don't care. I don't care, because they haven't honestly taken the time to try and understand. They see what they want to see. They don't see what I see. They don't know what I believe. I know what I believe, and I know my Heavenly Father. He is a loving God–a loving Father–who gives all of His children blessings, and opportunities to better themselves. But we all have the ability to choose for ourselves what we do, how we live, and what we believe. I am blessed to have a wonderful support system of friends and family who believe what I do, but also one of loved ones who support my decisions and beliefs, whether or not they agree with them. 

"True ministering is accomplished one by one with love as the motivation." ~Sister Bingham, April 2018 General Conference
I loved this quote that was brought up in Relief Society today!!! I am SO SURE that the answer to all of the world's problems is ministering as the Savior did and does!! One by one, and with love!! 

Something that was brought up near the end of Relief Society really stuck with me... Heavenly Father is always aware of me. Am I as consistently aware of Him?

Sunday School was awesome. Someone said something that I LOVED!!!!! We were talking about Job (who lost literally everything he had in life and he still loved and worshipped God with all of his heart, and then he was blessed in the end with everything he had lost and more replaced), and so we were talking about why bad things happen to good people. And someone said that, "The test of a true disciple is: do we love God even through the hard times????" I loved that!!!! We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world, and sometimes life happens. Sometimes we're put into the refiner's fire to learn and be taught, and be crafted into a new version of us. But we have to have faith that the blessings will come. It's easy to love and trust in God when life is good. But do we love Him even when life is hard? Do we love and trust Him enough to have the faith not be healed? Do we have the faith to take His will into account? 

Even though things aren't always going to go right, we can have faith that God knows everything, and He loves us! He has our best interests at heart, and He is always right beside us! He lifts us when we can't stand or walk on our own, and He will never let us down. 

I'm blessed to have the best people in my life right now, and I'm so, so, so thankful for the blessings I've received this week. I know that God is watching out for me, and I know that He loves me so much. I love Him and am so blessed to be able to call on Him when I need to, and I am so blessed to be able to depend on Him to help me when I need it. 

I hope you have an amazing week! Life is wonderful–you just have to look! 💜

Xoxo
Mattie

I do not know everything, but I know enough.

It has been a little bit of a crazy week but I'm glad it's over!! I have hope this next week will go a little more smoothly!

Today I was thinking during the sacrament about how grateful I am for my Savior!! I am so grateful that He patiently waits for me to be ready. Forgiving yourself can be really, really hard, but once you have, your life becomes so peaceful and happy! I am grateful for the lessons I have learned in my life,  but I hope to never again experience that long period of time where I felt so uncomfortable with who I was. I believe that my inability to forgive myself has been one of the main reasons I have been unable to fully hear my Father in Heaven. But now that I have come to forgive myself, and am taking medication for my anxiety and depression, and am trying to study my scriptures every day, I believe my ability to hear Him is no longer clouded by noise. And though I do not know what the future holds for me, I am so, so blessed to be able to say, "I am just trying to take things one step at a time." There are times where my anxiety/depression takes over, but I am more capable now to shut it down as quickly as I can. God has really blessed me in the last year, and I am full of gratitude for His love, assistance, and guidance. He has blessed me immensely in the last couple of months, too, and I am so, so grateful for that. His love and the peace that I have felt in my life recently is a blessing in my life.

Today was our ward conference, and one thing that I loved that was talked about was the fact that sometimes we might have our own '4-9' season, but we can make the changes we need (with the help of our Father in Heaven) to have a perfect–or close to perfect–season. 

There have been a lot of changes in the church recently, and one of the Stake Presidency said that it is because the leaders are trying to help us become a more righteous people. They are trying to help us minister as the Savior did and does. 

Alex talked in our Relief Society meeting today about anxiety and depression. She said that perfection is our ultimate goal, but we need to be realistic. It's not going to happen in this life. So we need to be kind to ourselves. And most of all, we need to never lose faith in Heavenly Father. We are vessels in the hands of a divine potter. He is molding and sculpting us to be the best person that we can be. She also said that broken minds and hearts can be healed just like broken bodies. I love that and KNOW it to be true!! 💜💜

Sister Card said that when we are in the darkness, we are more likely to lose hope. Darkness does not mean there is not light, though. Often it means that we are in the wrong place to receive the light. We can choose to walk in Christ's life. With His light comes HOPE and HEALING. 💜

We do not need to be perfect. But we do need to be good at getting better. 💜

The light of the Gospel of Christ will cut through the darkness, confusion, and discouragement. 💜

Learn to love you, right where you are. 💜💜💜

Be grateful for the small victories. 💜

Sometimes it takes time to forgive yourself. He's already forgiven you; He is just waiting for you to catch up. 💜💜💜

Revelation from God brings (and is) PEACE. 💜

I do not know everything, but I know enough. I know that my Savior loves me. I know that my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy, and I know that He wants me to return to live with Him someday. I know that, as I minister to those around me, and as I love and serve my friends and family, that I will be blessing those around me, and that I will be blessed for blessing them. I know that I am a daughter of God, and I know that I am loved by the most Divine Being. I know that He is always there for me, and I know that He has blessed me with so many beautiful friendships that can help me and others to know that we are never alone. I know that nothing is impossible with God if it is His will, and I know that together, He and I can do marvelous things. 💜

I hope you have a lovely week! And I hope you have a peaceful Sabbath day. 💜

Xoxo
Mattie