He gives us peace.

I am so grateful for the week that I've had. Even though I totally did not do super great on my midterms this week, I know that I tried my best, and that's all that matters. I have another midterm this week, and there's some meetings I've got this week for a few different projects, but I think that I will do better on my midterm this week.

I've been reading The Book of Mormon every day this week, and one of my favorite verses in the books of Nephi has always been 1st Nephi 9:6, which says, "But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words." This is one of my favorite scriptures because it's a reminder to me that Heavenly Father has a plan just for me, and He is helping me find it. He's helping me through it. All of the things that I am going through...all of the things that have happened in my life...are leading me to who I need to be, and where I need to be.

Recently, I have decided that it's time that I focus on my testimony, and spiritual self. I am really excited–I have been working on it a for a few weeks and have already seen some blessings in my life.  I have been more in tune with the Spirit lately, and I have been feeling more at peace. This semester has been really amazing–I haven't had a lot of crazy weeks, and I've been on top of my homework like nobody's business. I'm really excited to be graduating at the end of this school year, and I have a few fun ideas for after I graduate.

I have a challenge for you guys. For my Preparation for Marriage class, one of our assignments is to do a bunch of little experiential assignments, and one of the options we had was to write a love letter to ourselves. We could only write positive things, and I learned a lot about myself. I challenge you to write a love letter to yourself. I promise that it will be enlightening about who you are, and I know that you will come to love yourself a little more as you think about your personality traits, attributes, and all of the beautiful parts of who you are.

I am so thankful for my Father in Heaven, who blesses me and loves me. He has inspired me to confront my fears, learn to love my flaws, and bless those around me despite what's going on in my life.

Church was amazing today! I learned a lot of things I need to do to improve myself and my attitude about certain things in my life. I was able to meet my new ministering elders today and they were so sweet and willing to give me a blessing. I am so thankful for the blessing! It was really special and sweet and I know that my Father in Heaven is listening and watching out for me. I know that He cares for me and wants what is best for me. That blessing was an answer to my prayers and I am so blessed and so thankful for the sweet blessing from my Father in Heaven.

I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I love the path that I am on in life right now. I am not perfect, and my life is not perfect, but right now I am doing what I need to be doing, and I am where I need to be.  Even though I don't understand some of the things that I am going through, I am so blessed to have loving Heavenly Parents who are there for me, and who have given me wonderful friends and family to depend on.

Philippians 4:7: "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Xoxo
Mattie

Do we love God even through the hard times?

Well it's been quite a week! I found out I have to get a root canal! 😩 So that's not exciting. If you could please pray for me, my appointment is Tuesday morning at 11:30. 

Aside from that, however, it was a pretty uneventful week. This weekend, though, was pretty eventful! BYU won our football game against McNeese State, so that was awesome!! I loved cheering for my Cougars!! #proudtobleedblue But I was so unmotivated yesterday!!!! Ugh!! I have a lot of things due this week and I didn't get nearly as much done as I wanted to. 😞  It doesn't help that I've been super tired the last couple of days. I think it's because I've been taking a lot of meds for the pain from my tooth...and it seems like they make me sleepy. 😴

ANYWAY. Enough about my life this week. 

Heavenly Father. He's amazing. He really is. I'm blessed that I was able to get an appointment for the root canal so soon. Like, I literally went to the dentist last Wednesday, called the endodontist's office on Thursday, and got an appointment for Tuesday morning. #blessings

I also was able to make a list of all the things I've got due this week. So even though I didn't get as much done as I wanted, I know exactly what I need to do for homework this week and by what day. #smallvictories

And the best part of the week was the fact that I was able to spend some time with an older gentleman in the rehab center I've started volunteering in for one of my classes, and he reminded me so much of my Great-Grandpa Harker. It was just such a blessing, and brought back some great memories. #familiesareforever

I was thinking during the sacrament today, as I always do. It's a beautiful time I have each week to ponder, and prepare for the upcoming week. 

Today I was thinking about how sometimes it's hard to remember all the things that I have covenanted with my Heavenly Father. And I'm sure that, during the week, I have not done all that I should do. But I am grateful for the opportunity I have each Sunday to partake of the sacrament, and be cleansed, and renew my covenants with Him. I am grateful for all of the chances that He has given me, and continues to give me, to try again. It just reaffirms to me how important I am to Him, and how much He loves me, if He keeps giving me chances to try again and do what's right every day. Some people don't get it–they don't get what I believe, and they judge my church, and my beliefs, when they don't don't even know what my church is really about–but honestly, when it comes down to it, I don't care. I don't care, because they haven't honestly taken the time to try and understand. They see what they want to see. They don't see what I see. They don't know what I believe. I know what I believe, and I know my Heavenly Father. He is a loving God–a loving Father–who gives all of His children blessings, and opportunities to better themselves. But we all have the ability to choose for ourselves what we do, how we live, and what we believe. I am blessed to have a wonderful support system of friends and family who believe what I do, but also one of loved ones who support my decisions and beliefs, whether or not they agree with them. 

"True ministering is accomplished one by one with love as the motivation." ~Sister Bingham, April 2018 General Conference
I loved this quote that was brought up in Relief Society today!!! I am SO SURE that the answer to all of the world's problems is ministering as the Savior did and does!! One by one, and with love!! 

Something that was brought up near the end of Relief Society really stuck with me... Heavenly Father is always aware of me. Am I as consistently aware of Him?

Sunday School was awesome. Someone said something that I LOVED!!!!! We were talking about Job (who lost literally everything he had in life and he still loved and worshipped God with all of his heart, and then he was blessed in the end with everything he had lost and more replaced), and so we were talking about why bad things happen to good people. And someone said that, "The test of a true disciple is: do we love God even through the hard times????" I loved that!!!! We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world, and sometimes life happens. Sometimes we're put into the refiner's fire to learn and be taught, and be crafted into a new version of us. But we have to have faith that the blessings will come. It's easy to love and trust in God when life is good. But do we love Him even when life is hard? Do we love and trust Him enough to have the faith not be healed? Do we have the faith to take His will into account? 

Even though things aren't always going to go right, we can have faith that God knows everything, and He loves us! He has our best interests at heart, and He is always right beside us! He lifts us when we can't stand or walk on our own, and He will never let us down. 

I'm blessed to have the best people in my life right now, and I'm so, so, so thankful for the blessings I've received this week. I know that God is watching out for me, and I know that He loves me so much. I love Him and am so blessed to be able to call on Him when I need to, and I am so blessed to be able to depend on Him to help me when I need it. 

I hope you have an amazing week! Life is wonderful–you just have to look! 💜

Xoxo
Mattie

Every new chapter of your life will demand a different version of you.

It's been a stressful, sad, long, exhausting week. I finished my finals (stressful, exhausting) and packed and cleaned to move out of my apartment (stressful, sad, exhausting, long). It's bittersweet to be home for the summer–I'm excited for the new adventures I will go on, but I'm going to miss my friends. I love my family and I love spending time with them, but after living and spending most of my time with other people for two years, I am really, really sad that things won't be the same. It was really hard saying goodbye yesterday even though I know I'm going to see them again. It's hard to say goodbye to the people who have really been an influence in your life for the past two years, and it's hard to say goodbye to the people who have loved you, served you, cared for you, and blessed you for two years. I love them so much, and I am going to have a hard time not seeing them every day. Even though I need change in my life every so often, it's still hard. It's way harder than I like it to be, but I'm grateful that goodbyes don't have to be forever. 

I loved the messages in church today! Today we focused a lot on ministering, and service, and one of the speakers in sacrament meeting gave a list of three things that encompass the idea of ministering:
1. Being aware (of their needs, of those who need help, etc.)
2. Invitation (invitations of healing, friendship, places of safety/love, etc.)
3. Reach out in sacrifice and service (sacrifices of your time, food, etc.)

I loved this! Ministering just involves loving, and being considerate and aware of the needs of those around us. Ministering is motivated by the pure love of Christ. If you see a need, fill it. Just find a way to bless and love those around you.

I am so grateful for the people in my life who have been amazing examples of ministering! I've been on the receiving end, the giving end, and I've watched my friends minister to others and I am so blessed! I learn so much from them!

I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father. He has blessed me so much in the past year, and in the past two years that I have been at Cinnamon Tree. I am quite a different person now than I was not only two years ago when I first moved in, but also a year ago. And I know that that is for the best. I needed to be a different person at the start of last summer, but I also needed to change to be a different person now. Change is hard, but change is always something that needs to happen. I am always striving to be better today than I was yesterday. Sometimes I don't succeed quite as much as I'd like to, but I do know that I am trying, and that is all that God asks of me. He sends me people who will love me, listen to me, empathize with me, and help me to not only yearn to be better, but will help me try to be better. I couldn't ask for better friends to surround myself with. 

I am sad to have left Cinnamon Tree, but I am grateful for the life that I had there. I am grateful for the people that He placed in my life to bless me, and help me know that I am loved, and I am worth so much! I was so, so blessed to meet some amazing people, and I am so grateful to call them my friends! I love them so, so much! I can't even express how much I have loved being in this ward, and how much I am going to miss it. I'm going to miss my friends so, so much, and I already do. I'm beyond grateful for my friends and for their love and support. I can't imagine my life without them. And because of them, I know God loves me. Sometimes I might not feel it, but I KNOW that He does because He gave me friends and roommates that I needed. He gave me friends and roommates that love me. And He inspired them to serve me when I needed it. I am sometimes amazed when I think that He places people in my life just for me. He puts them in my life because He knows that I need them. And I am beyond grateful for that. I know that He really, really loves me, because I met some amazing people whom I absolutely love and adore, and they love me, too! I am grateful to have such a hard time saying goodbyes because it means that I love, and I am loved!

I hope you have a wonderful week! Life is so good! I am so grateful!

Xoxo
Mattie

P.S. A couple of weeks ago, my ward had a Spring Musical Fireside, and I am so, so grateful for everyone who performed their own musical numbers, and for those who helped in the choir! It was such an amazing experience and it was the perfect end to my calling as choir director. I was able to have it recorded for some friends who were unable to come, and it can be viewed here. The sound quality isn't the greatest (get ready to fiddle with the volume a lot... *facepalm* I'm sorry), and I apologize for that, but I think you can still feel the spirit of the meeting. Enjoy! :)