Ask and ye shall receive.

As always, here's some thoughts I had during the sacrament today: 

Some of my friends in the ward and I had the opportunity to go down to Manti yesterday for the Manti pageant. We also–before the pageant–went to the temple. I did some confirmations and then just sat in the chapel, thinking about some questions that I have had. I didn't really get any specific answers yet, but I felt like I needed to fast today, so I am fasting for a few things. I am hoping I will receive some answers in church today. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to sit in the temple and think. I honestly received just a lot of peace and a few messages I needed to hear. I'm grateful for the chances that I have to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I'm grateful that He trusts me to do the right things, even when I have messed up.

Sacrament meeting was GREAT! Kiera, one of my roommates, spoke in church today, and she gave me some of the answers that I needed to hear. :) She talked about Agency and Freedom
 -We can never go wrong when we choose to follow the Savior
-No matter what is going on, we can turn and look to our Savior, who will help us start again.
-Men are that they might have joy (This was an answer that I was looking for! If it's right, and makes me happy, why shouldn't I do it?)
-We all have the choice to be happy. Just because something bad happens, that doesn't mean you can't (make the choice to) be happy.

Gospel Doctrine was awesome! Clarissa is such an amazing teacher! 25/10, would recommend. :) The lesson was on "Seek learning, even by study and also by faith".
-We talked about how we have to prepare for our church meetings.
-In order to change the world you have to stretch yourself; you have to learn.
-If you're not willing to put time into your education, nothing will happen.
-People need you to put forth your effort now so you can do so later when it's needed.

Relief Society was great! Here are some of my favorite messages:
-We need to get to the point where we believe He can. Where we believe Him (when He says we are forgiven, or loved, or that we can be forgiven, we can return, etc.)
-God will take care of you. Just put your trust in Him.
-He loves you and wants you to be happy.
-You need to learn how to see yourself through God's eyes.

I loved the lessons today. I received a lot of peace and answers to some of the questions that I had and wanted to focus on as I was fasting. I'm grateful for those in the ward who listen to the Spirit and I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with the messages and answers that I received today. I'm grateful for the chance I had to go to the temple yesterday, and to see the Manti pageant. I'm grateful for the chance I have to go to church, and for the chance I have to learn more about my Savior, and to help my friends learn more about Him.

I'm grateful for this fun weekend and hope that this week will also be quite fun. I hope that you have a great rest of the day and a wonderful week!

Xoxo
Mattie

Peace be with you.

Here's your friendly reminder that, no matter how much you love music/performing for people, sometimes it is still downright terrifying:

Thoughts during the sacrament: I'm singing in sacrament meeting today. Honestly I'm terrified. My heart can't stop racing. I wasn't terrified for this at all until last night/this morning. I'm praying for peace and hoping it will go well.  Everyone keeps saying it will be fine–and I'm sure it will be–but my body/brain isn't listening.

It's Father's Day today. I'm so thankful for my dad, all the fathers in my life, and especially my Heavenly Father. I don't know where I'd be without their love, guidance, and examples.

"Peace be with you", I just heard/thought. And my heart has slowed down. I'm still nervous, still a little jumpy, but I feel better. I know He will be with me. And I am not alone–it's a quartet. :)

The first speaker in sacrament today talked about PEACE! I was like, "I need that!" Megan said something that I loved and had never really thought about before: Sometimes the answers to our prayers is to reach out and help others. I never thought that me serving someone could be the answer to my prayers. I know that me serving someone helps someone else and can be the answer to their prayers, as well as make me feel good, but I didn't realize it could be an answer to my prayers. I thought that was really insightful. She also said that the Savior is the perfect example of peace and I really loved that.

Our musical number went great!! I had a solo at the beginning, and during the chorus the second time around I harmonized (because it was too low for me) and this resulted in a lot of compliments today. I'm so glad that it went well! I was really worried and nervous, but it went well. :)

The second speaker talked about how Heavenly Father sees us, and knows us, and can help us. He has the best plan for us, and He can help us overcome our weaknesses, if we ask Him.

Relief Society was great, as usual! Clarissa talked about some things that I needed to hear and I"m so grateful for that!

The topic was Peace and Contentment Through Temporal Self-Reliance. These are just a couple of my favorite lines that were said today:
-As long as we can be self-reliant, we can help others.
-Good things take effort. You are worth the effort.
-We need each other's help. It's okay to depend on others.
-How many times do we have to fall before we can stay up?
-The best things in life take work.
-Messing up doesn't mean we're not good at it and should stop.

"If ye are prepared ye shall not fear." (Doctrine and Covenants 38:30)

I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to perform in church today. I'm grateful for the messages that were shared–I needed to hear the messages of peace today, and the messages that it's okay to depend on others, and it's okay to mess up sometimes.

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers! I'm grateful for my father–I love my dad. He's the best. He's taught me so much and I can always turn to him. I'm grateful for all the father-figures in my life. They teach me so many things and are such great examples. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, and for all that He has done for me.

Hope you have had a peaceful Sabbath and that you have an amazing week!

Xoxo
Mattie

Despite what happens to you, you are still loved.

Lots of things can happen in the blink of an eye. You never know where life is going to take you. Or who's going to cross paths with you. You never know what kinds of experiences you are going to go through. Some of them are going to be easy. Some of them will be a little harder, but you can still get through them. Some, however, will be unbearably difficult, and you will think that you won't have the strength or capacity to go through them. These experiences (all of them) can be mentally or physically challenging. Satan is going to try so hard to get you to feel like you can't do it. He's going to try to make you feel unworthy, unloved, forgotten by God, and alone. Sometimes, he might succeed. Fortunately, we have a Savior, who loves us, and will always be there for us. He died for us so that we didn't have to be alone. He will bless you, love you, lead you, and guide you, if you'll let Him. He will take the pain, the loneliness–all those dark feelings–and replace them with peace, love, light, and truth. And He will never leave you alone.

Remember:

You are never alone.
You are always loved.
You are so blessed.

Life is going to change. That's life–that's the way that it works. Sometimes you're not going to want it to change. Sometimes you're going to be afraid. That's okay. It's okay to be afraid. But at some point you're going to have to move on. At some point, you're going to have to take a stand. At some point, you're going to have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "(Name), you can do this! All of your worries and doubts and struggles and fears are all in your head! Life is so great and you can so do this! It's going to be just fine!" Sometimes you just have to pluck up the courage to do something about it. About feeling afraid. Feeling alone. Feeling lost. Sometimes it's all in your head, and sometimes you just have to get out of your head. I know, I know–easier said than done. But it's worth it.

Sometimes you are going to feel left out. Sometimes you are going to feel like you're interrupting, or annoying. Sometimes you are going to feel forgotten–by friends, family. I promise you that they're always thinking of you. You might forget that [they are thinking of you], but just know that they are. I know they love you. You have a Savior who loves you, too. And I know that He never forgets you. You are engraved upon His heart, and upon His palms, because He died for you. There is nothing you can do that will make Him forget you or stop loving you. You can always return to Him.

Life is...well, life is life. It can be crazy–and it is crazy. Things happen–circumstances and people change. But you are not alone. You don't have to go through it alone. There are people in your life who love you. I know that there are people in your life who love you SO much! I know this, because there are people in my life that I love SO MUCH I can't even...and I can't even imagine my life without them. They're a blessing to me, and I know that the Lord knew that I needed them...I hope, too, that they need me.

There are people in your life who need YOU. They need your influence, your love, your insight, your whole being. They need you. You might not know it now–or ever–but I promise that they need you. There is something that you have in your life/personality that they do not, and that they need from you.

You are worth so much. You are a son or daughter of God, and He loves you. He wants to bless you with what He knows you need and deserve. He knows your potential, and wants to help you see it.

You have a divine nature and are so loved. I promise you, you are loved by SO MANY. 

Xoxo
Mattie

You do so much good!

So, Friday morning I had the opportunity to go do baptisms for the dead in the Provo Temple. It was SO GREAT!!! It was just what I needed. I received a lot of answers and peace and it was just a great start to the day/weekend. I had a couple talks with one of my roommates at random times throughout the day and those also were exactly what I needed. She's awesome and I love her and I am so grateful that she is in my life! I honestly don't know how I survived without her! ;)

I've had some ups and downs this weekend but I've gotten through them. Life's a funny thing, isn't it? In the heat of the moment, you're like, "I can't do this! This is so hard!" But afterwards you're like, "Wow, I did it! It wasn't even that hard" (even though sometimes it was). And you just move on. :)

I have a few new goals I am hoping to be able to work on in the next couple of months or so, and it's not going to be easy. But I can do it! I have an amazing support system! :)

I'm so grateful for all the guidance I've received this weekend! Some of the guidance I received this weekend was definitely a blessing and an answer to my prayers–I am not forgotten! Nor am I alone and unloved. Sometimes in life, I struggle, and I falter, and I doubt, and I question, and I worry, but I get back up. Because I've felt the peace. I've felt the joy. I've felt the love. And there's no place I'd rather be.  ❤️

Don't worry about it.

So I was listening to/singing the hymn "Lead Kindly Light" today and I came to the realization that the song is about Jesus Christ, seeing as He is the Light of the World. I don't know why I never realized it before. But I thought that was an awesome thing to notice today. :)
I've been thinking lately about a lot of things, and one of those is that I'm not doing enough. Sure, I'm doing a lot, and it's fine, but I'm not doing enough. And I can do better. I can be better. I might be struggling or in a hard spot right not, but I can do more. I can pray for guidance and assistance, and I can focus better, and try harder. Honestly sometimes I don't want to try or do anything, but I can. I have, and I will again. Sometimes life is hard and goes unplanned, or against your plans and wishes, but if you trust in God, and have faith, everything will be all right, and you will be blessed. 

I got a new calling today! I am the assistant ward choir director and I am super grateful and excited! I'm also grateful for my Bishop, who was inspired to bless me with what I needed to hear when he was setting me apart.

Church was SO amazing today. :)

Here's some of my favorite things from Sunday School today:
-Even though things can be hard here (on Earth), coming here (Earth) can make things better for us in the end.
-Knowing where we come from gives us purpose.
-It's God's plan for us to act, and to do what He wants/needs us to do.
-The Lord still has a plan for us that works around Satan's! Heavenly Father works with you as things change.

Relief Society was so amazing today! I'm going to miss Candace but am so excited for her to move forward with life!
-Strive to go to the temple. Do what you need to be able to go, and even if you can't, you will be blessed.
-Holiness is in striving and the struggle to keep the commandments.
-Anything worth having is hard to get.
-Holiness is making the choices that will keep the Holy Ghost in our life.
-You can make things holy by the attitude you have as you go about doing them.
-Jesus Christ is the center of holiness, of happiness. He sees us as His daughters and He loves us.
-Through His atonement, I can be redeemed, born again, changed, and righteous.

We went to the temple today to just walk around and ponder, and it was so peaceful! All my anxieties about my struggles melted away. I had all these questions, about why I've been struggling, why am I struggling, how could I fix it, and I couldn't find an answer in the scriptures, so I just sat there, and listened and felt the breeze brush past me, and listened to the birds singing. And I had this thought. "Don't worry." I was like, "What? But I have so many things that I am struggling with and need help to work on." Again, "Don't worry about it." So then I got up, headed down the path down to the front and there was this point where I just stopped, and I turned to look at the temple. It was so pretty. And I closed my eyes for a second, and this thought passed through my mind, "Thine adversity shall be but a small moment." And then I smiled and opened my eyes and walked down to where we were meeting to close. That was such a comforting thought and I needed it.

So grateful for the messages today! I'm so grateful for the Spirit that I've felt and for the promptings that I received. I'm also grateful for the little tender mercy that happened as we were walking to the car back from the temple. This guy pulled up in his car, kind of blasting his music, but not really. Anyway, the song was "See You Again". Which was my graduation song two years ago today. And I don't know why but I needed that, and thinking about it now, that moment helped me remember who I am. Where I've come from. How far I've come. Where I've been. Where I am now. How I'm changing. How I'm wanting to change. How I'm trying. And that reminds me of my blessing today. How God sees me. He sees my efforts. He sees my struggles, and He is so proud of me. He is proud of who I am. How far I've come. How hard I try. How much I love and care. And how much He loves me.

Kiera played "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul" in the car on the way home. I love that song so much and am so grateful for its message! Especially today. It's so amazing–I have a Savior, who loves me. Cares for me. Died for me. And every day He is there for me. He is my Savior. My Redeemer. I wouldn't be who I am today without Him. What a blessing it is for me to have Him with me always. And what a blessing He is to me.  ❤️❤️

Xoxo
Mattie

There are so many out there who need you.

What a weekend it's been!! It's been a good weekend but because I've been little off/not myself lately, this weekend was also a little hard and a little bit of a struggle. But God know what He's doing and He gave me the BEST roommates for the summer, and that's been such a blessing. They've helped me a lot this weekend and I know that they'll help me more as the summer goes on. Saturday afternoon was probably the most difficult time, but I went to Kristin Chenoweth's concert at the de Jong hall last night and it was FANTABULOUS and made up for the whole day; I couldn't stop smiling when I was walking home. That is, it did make up for the whole day until I got home and saw that one of my roommates had decorated my wall with things about me and had written me a card, and so together those things made my day one thousand percent better. I'm so blessed to have them in my life, and I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I've got the best support system and I know that they love me and will always be there for me.

I heard a LOT of things that I needed to hear today, so I'm just going to share my favorites from each meeting:
Sacrament Meeting:
-Press forward. We are to endure. We need to allow our journey to shape us.
-Oh this was my favorite. So in Matthew 5:48 it says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which in heaven is perfect." And in 3 Nephi 12: 48 it says, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." And I loved what Cheyenne said about it. She suggested that "being perfect" means "being FINISHED" ( i.e. completing our mortal mission on this life) because in 3 Nephi Jesus added that we should be perfect even as He is, and this is after He's been resurrected.

Gospel Doctrine:
-You need to prepare your heart to go to the temple.
-The Lord will bless you when you are ready.
-Be worthy to be there.

Relief Society:
So the lesson was entitled "Nurturing the Eternal Partnership of Marriage". Which is funny, living in a singles' ward. BUT Clarissa took the perfect spin on the lesson and it was something that I SO needed to hear, so I'm grateful for her and her special way of approaching this topic. Relief Society was absolutely perfect, and I needed it, and I'd like to thank Clarissa so much for the lesson! 

-"Because you do not happen to be married does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved." ~President Hinckley
-We still have worth. We are still valued.
-"You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you."
Someone said later, "The blessings aren't being held back; you're just not there yet."
-Living a righteous life will make you happy. You have to find your happiness now. Someone else said that getting married won't fix any problems, and by itself it won't make you happy. You have to find your happiness outside of any other person.
-What we do does matter, and we can make a difference in the world.
"Do not feel that because you are single, God has forsaken you. The world needs you. The Church needs you."
-The experiences that we're having now are building us up.
-"There are so many out there who need you... Keep you spiritual batteries at full charge and light the lamps of others."

I'm so grateful for the lesson, and for the words of President Hinckley and all of the women in Relief Society today. It was perfect and just what I needed to hear. I'm needed and I can make a difference in this world. I'm still loved.

Sometimes it amazes me how well God knows me and knows what I need. Like, most of the time I don't even know what I need or want! But God is all-knowing, and He made me, and He loves me, and He knows who I am going to be, and He knows how to take me there. He also knows what I need to hear, and when, and who I need to hear it from.

I went hospital singing again today and it was SUCH a blessing! I love singing with my friends and bringing the Spirit to those in the hospital on Sundays. It might be a day when they were feeling lonely or when they were feeling sad. Every time, though, it puts a smile on their face, and more often than not, tears to their eyes, and I can just feel God's love for them so strongly! He truly does love us, and care for us, and He knows what we need, every day.

Xoxo
Mattie

Happy Mother's Day! 💕

Happy Mother's Day!!! To my mom and to all of the moms in my life. I love you all and look up to you! There is no one better in this world than mothers. 💕💕💕

My mom is amazing and does so much for me and my family. She's Superwoman and Wonder Woman rolled into one awesome being and I am so grateful for her. 💕💕

I'm so grateful for all of the mothers in my life. My grandmas are amazing women, as are all of my aunts, and I have so many friends who are mothers that I love and appreciate. 💕💕

You have all taught me so many things, and I couldn't be more grateful. There are no words to describe my love and admiration for you–there are songs that come close but it's not enough. Here's a Mother's Day playlist that was shared by Paul Cardall, the pianist. It's got a lot of great songs (my favorite is "A Mother's Prayer" by Celine Dion, though there are a few that are close runners up such as "Angels", "You Raise Me Up", "Meanwhile Back at Mama's", and "Mama's Song") but it's missing this one, which is my favorite of all time. 💕💕

Also this video by the Church is SO amazing! 💕💕

I know that there are some who've loved and lost babies and I just wanted those women specifically to know that I love you and I am so grateful for you! I know it is so hard but I wanted you to know that I admire you and love you and am grateful (and proud of you) for the strength that you show every day, and I'm grateful for the love that you give to me. You're a mom to me. 💕💕

Thought I'd write this little poem to show just a snippet of all the things that moms do–for me, for their own children, and for everyone. Mothers are special beings that God put in our lives because He knew we'd need some sort of guidance and love in our lives, and for that, He gave us moms. I thank my Heavenly Father every day for my mom and for all moms. 💕💕

"Thank You Mothers" by Mattie  

Thank you for loving me,
for teaching me,
for listening to me. 

Thank you for trying,
for sharing,
for caring. 

Thank you for watching,
for leading,
for coaching. 

Thank you for helping,
for respecting,
for guiding. 

Without you, I'd be lost,
I'd be alone,
I'd be sad. 

Thank you, mothers, for being there, for loving me, and for showing me how to be a mom. 💕💕