As we take time for Him, He makes time for us.

In thinking about all the things that I have had to do the last couple of weeks, and how low-key stressed it has made me, I am surprised I haven't had a meltdown yet. Haha I'm just kidding! But seriously, I am surprised that I have remained relatively as calm as I have. I have realized lately that I am often struggling to balance between all of the things on my to-do list. Trying to find the perfect balance is difficult, and takes a lot of time.

So what can we do? What can be done to help us balance between all of the good things in our lives?

Well, I am going to tell you some of the things that I do that help alleviate some of the stress, and help me balance my week.

First, I write everything down in my planner. I write down what, where, and when. If I need to take anything with me, I write that down, too. Any appointments, any meetings, all of my classes, all of my work shifts–all of it. Under my classes, I write down the homework due for that day, so I can know what I have to do. Sometimes there are specific times the homework is due, so I'll write that down, too.

Second, I determine what is most important. What can I absolutely not get away with skipping this week? What can I delay doing for a short time? Generally, I work on larger or more time-consuming school projects first, and then I work on the leftovers (which is usually just reading assignments). I make notes in my journal about what I am doing first–I actually haven't tried colors, but I just had an idea to try highlighting the most important things. That's a good idea. I'll have to try that.

Third, I have to put away all distractions. This is the hardest one, I feel like. Our world is full of distractions, and it's hard to put them away sometimes. But I have discovered a few cool tricks.

The first one is for my computer. I discovered that Safari has an extension that helps me. It's called "Waste No Time", and you can find more information here. You can either block specific websites forever, or you can block them for certain times of the day. I have done that. I have blocked social media sites from 8-12 and from 1-5 Monday thru Friday. Any time I forget and try to go on Facebook, or Instagram, it directs me back to the Google home page (because that is what I picked for it to go to. You can choose any other website). Honestly it has really blessed my life! I am able to focus more and get more done.

The second one is for my phone. I have an iPhone, and a new iOS update has this new feature, "Screen Time". You are able to choose many different options of monitoring your screen time, according to your needs. It resets every night at midnight. As far as I can tell, there is no actual option to completely block apps, but I have been able to get around that: I would set the specific apps that I wanted to block for the day, and I set the time for one minute. In addition to all of the apps that I really wanted to block for the day, I would pick a random one that I do not use all that often, and then I would mess around on that app for a minute, and afterwards, every other app that I wanted blocked–including the random one–would be blocked for the rest of the day. 

Fourth, I pick a few different fun things to do as part of my breaks/downtime that day. For example, on Mondays and Wednesdays, I have classes from 10:30a to 3p, with a short 45 minute break between two of my classes. During that time, I eat lunch and I usually watch an episode of a TV show I am watching. If I am not quite finished with my readings for my last class, I will instead read for class. On Thursdays, I am busy all day, from 7:45a to 8p. Usually during my morning work shift, I am finishing up my homework for my classes that day, so that when 12p comes around, and I'm off work, I can watch something, or read something for fun, before class at 1:35p. Sometimes, I just want to listen to music, though, so some days I'll listen to music all day instead of watch something.

Last but not least, I have personal study time. At some point during the day, I take time to study my scriptures for me, and pray to Heavenly Father. I prefer reading my scriptures in the afternoon/evening, but sometimes in the morning when I am on top of things, I will study while waiting for the bus. Each night, I take time to speak with my Father in Heaven, and ask Him for help with things I have going on the next day or two.

These are just some of the things that I have found to help me. They are not for everyone, and they are adapted each and every day, it seems like. Every day is new, and different, and so each day demands different things of me. Some days, I have a ton of free time, and so I work on my homework for the next couple of days. Some days, I am a little behind, and I don't have as much free time as I'd like, and so I have to really buckle down and make sure that I am getting things done. Even then, as I stated at the beginning of this post, I am still struggling to find a balance between everything I have to do.

But I know that, as I take the time to study my scriptures, and pray to Heavenly Father, He will bless me. As I take time to serve my friends, He will bless me. As I take time that I need to do important things for school or work, and instead use it to strengthen my relationship with Him, and with others, He will bless me, and lengthen my time. Somehow, He makes it so I have enough time for all that I have to do.

Elder Uchtdorf gave a talk eight years ago in the October 2010 General Conference in which he discusses the things that matter most. I highly suggest you read it. Or watch him give it. That's actually a better suggestion.

I know we are all busy, and some days don't go as planned. Some days, we are only able to read one or two scriptures before our eyes droop so bad that we can't read it any more. Some days we plan to actually make food for dinner but end up either grabbing a burger or just making a Nutella and jam sandwich.

I also know that God is with us, and that He helps us through the bad days. I know that He sees us trying. I know that He blesses our efforts. I know that if we try our best, and ask God for help, nothing can get in our way.

I hope everyone has a good week and a safe Halloween!! Please keep track of your littles and be aware of children with allergies.

God loves you very much and has great plans for you!!

Xoxo
Mattie

Sometimes it's time to move.

I'm grateful for the chance that I have to start over each week...I just wish that I could forgive myself and move on from the past. It's hard to feel like God has forgiven me when I can't even forgive myself. I've been trying to work on forgiving myself, and loving myself completely–flaws and all. It's been difficult, and is taking time, and hasn't happened all at once, but I know that with the help of my Savior, and the support of my loved ones and close friends, I can do it. I just need to not give up, and keep going, even when I feel discouraged, and even when I make mistakes again.

One thing that stood out to me in sacrament meeting was, "Because of our Savior's Atonement, we can become whole again" (emphasis added). I really loved that statement. When we use the Atonement to be forgiven and start over, we become clean and whole, just like the day of our baptism.
One other thing that was said that I loved was, "First promptings are pure inspiration from heaven." I really loved that, and I firmly believe that that is a true statement. I am sure that I have been the answer to other people's prayers, and I know that other people have been answers to my prayer, and I am so thankful that they followed the promptings of the Spirit.

"You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you." ~Elder Harold B. Lee to Elder Boyd K. Packer soon after Elder Packer became a General Authority

I really liked this quote, and I loved the title of the article that it is from. It's called, "Move Forward in Faith", and I recently watched a video interview of the LDS singer/songwriter Calee Reed where she said, "Sometimes His timing means move now", and I absolutely LOVE this idea! Sometimes His timing means that we have to be patient, but sometimes His timing means that we have to have faith and just make a decision. He'll let us know if we make a wrong choice.

I think that we often put forth a lot of faith and hope that God will do everything for us. That if we pray for Him to do something, or give us something, that if we sit back and wait, He'll do it. 

But that isn't how He works. He has given us the gift of agency, which means that He will not force us to do anything, and He will not force anyone else to do anything, either. So when we ask Him for help, He expects us to finish praying, get up, and go out and do something. And as long as we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, we will be blessed, and we will receive the blessings that we have asked for–in due time. One of my favorite quotes of Elder Holland's is, "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." No one is perfect–all we can do is try our best. As long as we are doing our part, God will do His.

Life is hard. I don't know about you, but I have weaknesses that I can't overcome by myself. I have trials that keep coming back because I don't always know how to deal with them, and sometimes they change into a new form. Some days, I am doing GREAT. Some days...not so much, and I can't figure out how to deal with them...I can't figure out how to get over them...I can't figure out how to get rid of them. There are lots of times, as I'm trying to work through them, where I keep forgetting something...I keep forgetting someONE. I keep forgetting my Savior. With Him, I can do ANYTHING.

Even move.

I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father has not left me alone. Sometimes He's quiet...that's another thing that Calee said in the video I shared previously. Even when you're doing everything right...reading your scriptures, going to church, going to the temple...sometimes He's quiet. But that DOESN'T mean that He's not here. That doesn't mean that He doesn't care. That doesn't mean that He isn't helping guide you. He really will let you know when you're doing something wrong, or when you go ahead with a decision that isn't right for you. And if you can't feel His love...He will send you people who do, and they will show you just how much He loves you through their actions. They will bless your life just by being themselves, and just by being in your life. They will always listen. They will always love you. They will always be there for you. And they will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night because you needed someone to talk to and God knew you needed them.

I'm grateful for my Savior, and for the love that He has for me. I'm grateful for the strength that He gives me, and for the support that He has given me. I'm grateful for my friends who support me and love me, and who always show me just how much they care for me. I'm grateful for the life that I have been given, and I'm grateful for the experiences that I've had. I'm grateful that I am not alone in this life. I don't think I could make it by myself. I am grateful for the changes that have occurred in my life, and I'm grateful for the chances that I have had to change. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to serve those around me, and I'm grateful for the times that I have had to take time and let others serve me. I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life who love me. I can't imagine my life without you! Thanks for everything you do!! 

I hope you all have an amazing week! I know that God loves you very much and He wants you to talk to Him. Remember that He is always there for you.

Xoxo

Mattie

I wouldn't have it any other way.

I loved church today!! There were lots of great messages today but I am going to focus on two sets of thoughts I had today. The first during the sacrament, and the second during Sunday School.

"Thy will, O Lord, be done." That was the last line of the sacrament hymn. I know we want things to happen in our own way and time. I know–there are so many things I want right now. But I'm learning to let go, and be patient, and take things one step at a time (like in this song). Things will happen when they're meant to happen. And actually, this topic reminds me of something I said on Facebook a year ago: "Dreams are crushed. Hopes are dashed. Life is shattered. But only when you put them on your 'this is going to happen this way' pedestal and wish for it to be that specific way only. When you give a little room for them to grow and develop, dreams are built. Hopes are known. Life is changed."  Life is honestly no fun if you're always stressed and worried about things you can't control. And I know it's hard to not, but I've learned that by taking things one day at a time, and focusing on the present, it's easier to not be stressed and worried. It's not like the stress and worries goes away–and I'm sure there will always be parts of me that are stressed and worried–but for now, I'm trying to tame them. It's been hard, but I've been able to depend on my Savior, who strengthens me, and my Heavenly Father, and They've sent me people to help my life not be so stressful, and to help make life more fun and enjoyable. Life certainly isn't perfect, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

In Sunday School we talked about trials, and where God is when we're struggling, and it reminded me of this quote that Chris shared in his talk during the sacrament. It's by C.S. Lewis, and I'm sure you've heard it before: "Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." Someone in class said, 'trials make you bitter or better.' You get to decide. Clarissa asked what our hardest trial was, and what we learned or gained from it. I said that, in my hardest and greatest trial, I not only found God, but I found love. One of the reasons that the trial started was because I didn't feel like I was loved. I just didn't feel like I was loved or important. Through this trial, however, I came to realize who I was. Who I am. How valued and important I am. And I not only found the love of God and my Savior for me, but also the love of friends and family. Which are all important, but most importantly I found love for myself, and even though I still struggle sometimes, I am learning to love myself, and love who I am. It's not perfect, and some days I forget, but I am trying. And I do love myself. I love who I am. I love my quirks. I know people don't understand or follow me most of the time, but I'm learning to not focus on that, and to just be me. Because even if they don't understand, they still accept me, and they still love me. Which is the most important thing–having friends who accept me and love me for who I am.

I am blessed. I'm blessed to have been through all sorts of things that have helped me see what is important to me, and that have helped me see who I am. I'm grateful to have struggled, and learned how to be patient, and how to grow. I'm grateful to have been able to grow closer to my Savior. I'm grateful to have been able to learn from my mistakes. Sometimes I wonder if there was any other way I could have gained these lessons, because it has been the hardest trial of my life, and I am not sure if I will ever fully be free from it, but I do know that there were a couple things that I wouldn't have learned without it, and there are things I wouldn't be able to understand or stand for without it. So I wouldn't have it any other way, and I am grateful. For what I've learned, and for who I've become. I'm stronger, and I've grown closer to my Savior than I ever have been. I've learned to love people more–for and despite their faults and flaws, because I've been in such deep trenches that I couldn't see the light of day, and all I wanted most days was someone to love me, and show that they cared. And so I want to be that person for others. I don't want anyone to feel like I did. Like they weren't loved. Weren't important. Weren't valued. Weren't wanted. Because they're not. They ARE loved. Important. Valued. Wanted. Just like me.

Xoxo
Mattie

Be a part of His plan for you.

This week has been super full of random thinking. Today during the sacrament, I did some more thinking, but a different kind of thinking. This thinking had a purpose. I'd like to share what I was thinking:

I've been doing a TON of thinking this week about life and things, wondering if this will happen, if I should say this to this person, etc. And some of it was terrifying and gave me anxiety, which is bad for my health. BUT I realized today if it's meant to be, it will happen. God will get things in place for it to happen (though I will have to do my part; I can't just leave it all up to Him). And if it doesn't, and I feel sad, Jesus will be there, to help lift me up and fix any broken pieces of me. I know that He will because He's done it before. He'll never let me down. I trust Him with all of my heart. And I know that He trusts me, so maybe–just maybe–some things I am meant to do by myself, with a little encouragement and courage from Him. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13). I love this scripture. It's a great one, and a simple one that says that Christ strengthens us and helps us do all things. He gives me strength and courage daily to do things that I am not strong enough or brave enough to do by myself. I am so thankful for Him, and for His example, encouragement, and love.

It was a very special moment for me, because I've always kind of known that if it is meant to happen, it will happen–God places people and experiences in our lives to help us onto our path of life. But today I actually realized it.

I also realized that many of the things in my life that I want, I'm going to have to do something about it. Yes, I can ask Heavenly Father for whatever help I need, and He may align things up so that it will all work out, but I have to do my part. I have to act. I've kind of always been the girl that is just there. You may notice me, but not really take notice of me–which is fine. But that means that sometimes I have to act, which is something that is 95% of the time definitely hard for me (#socialanxiety #introvert).

But because of that, I've learned to trust my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way that I don't think I ever could have if I didn't have trouble with having to be the person to start things. I've also learned that usually, once I've gotten started, I get so into what I'm doing that I don't even think about all the things that I usually think about that make it hard for me to do things. And as I've gotten older, depending on the environment, sometimes it's gotten easier for me to do less thinking, and sometimes it's gotten harder. That's life, I guess. But my Savior is always there to give me strength.

That reminds me of a testimony that was given today. Someone was talking about how the Lord knows who we are. He made us who we are for a reason, and our flaws are meant to either help someone else, or to help us change into who we are meant to be. And I know that that's definitely true for me. This flaw of mine has helped my testimony of my trust in my Savior and Heavenly Father grow. And it's changed me in so many ways.

Someone else shared that sometimes we get in our own way. We sometimes put up blockades and we don't remember our Heavenly Father, or who we are, or what we've been blessed with. Sometimes the only person in the way of our eternal happiness is us.

God knows you. He loves you. He has a plan for you and He'll help set it up, but you have to be a part of it. You have to actually do some things. Sometimes it will be hard, and sometimes it will be easy. But no matter what, you will never be alone. Jesus Christ will be there to strengthen and support you. You have to remember that nothing will ever happen unless you really want it to happen and you go and do something about it. Turn to your Heavenly Father for guidance and strength when you need it, but remember that you are going to have to go out and take your life by the reins.

I can do this.

Hi guys!!!

So, today I had church at my new ward...It was a little weird because there were no little kids, and it was very quiet during sacrament meeting, which was strange. In Relief Society we talked about how the young women's program was to help us grow and develop personally, and Relief Society is about helping other people. We said the young women's theme and it made me miss home but I enjoyed the lesson and am excited for this opportunity to learn and grow with other sisters my own age and in my own hall. :)

There are a lot of great girls in my ward, and I'm excited to get to know them. :) I haven't really met any of the guys yet, but I am excited to get to know my ward. 

My friend said that I should take the opportunity to enjoy the quiet sacrament meetings and I will...It was just a little odd because I'm so used to it being noisy during the meeting.

I start my job tomorrow, and I also start my classes tomorrow. Wish me luck!!! I'm super nervous, but I know that the Lord will help me.

It might take me a couple weeks, but I know that I can do this. I can do this. It'll be a little difficult at first, but I can do it. 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)

Forget not that the Lord loves you (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", Oct. 2011).

Xoxo
Mattie