The view is always breathtaking.

I’ve been working on this post 𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓵 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴. I just haven’t been able to figure out the words to describe all that I’ve felt in my heart about this. It hits close to home for me, and I know that I have friends who have and do feel similarly. I wanted to do this topic justice. 

Earlier this week on my Facebook profile, I shared a post about how important it is to enjoy life where you are at. Then I commented about how it's okay to struggle with enjoying life where you are at. Then I added how it's okay to work on enjoying life one piece at a time.

I feel the need to share that 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙩. Life is hard because that is the way that life is. Our bodies are mortal and can fail us. Sometimes the actions of others can cause us mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual harm. Life takes us in a different direction than maybe we wanted to be headed in. Sometimes we need to be doing things that we don't want to be doing. That is okay.

In this article entitled "If God Loves Me, Why Is Life So Hard?", there is a story of a little girl with a brain tumor. She shows such strength and faith in God throughout her trial.

“7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖆 𝖘𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖒𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙; 8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8).

I love this scripture. My favorite part is "a small moment". To us, life feels like ᗩ ᒪOOOᑎG ᗰOᗰEᑎT. But, in reality, it is but a small moment that goes by faster than you think. 

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, we just started the new year, but we are already 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓯𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓾𝓪𝓻𝔂!!! My birthday is at the end of January, and every year I can't ever wait til my birthday, but it seems like time always goes by so slow! But then when I look at it, it has gone by so fast!

In applying this to ❝𝑒𝓃𝒿💮𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓎🌺𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓉❞, oftentimes, the things that trouble us, the things that make us cry every other night, or the things that make us hide in the bathroom at work...these things seem to last a long time. Sometimes they can. Sometimes these things can last years. But, upon reflection, it was "𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉".

𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖝𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊, my first year of college was really difficult. However, it was ❝𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂🌺𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉❞ in the grand scheme of things. College seemed to take ᖴOᖇEᐯEᖇ, but I am now graduated.

It's okay to not enjoy life where you are at...but it is also important to remember that it 𝓲𝓼 where you are currently at. So, what can you do to be 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 with where you are at?

Well, first of all, I think that accepting that you aren't enjoying life where you at is a good start. Being honest with yourself is important.

Second, I think that telling God (even though He already knows) that you aren't enjoying life right now is also important. It's important for you to be honest with God, and for you and God to be on the same page. 

Third, I think that telling a loved one (either a family member or close friend) that you aren't enjoying life right now is a good idea as well. Having not only God's help, but help from someone close to you here on Earth is a good step forward. Together, they will be able to help you through this.

Fourth, know that 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 💮𝓀𝒶𝓎. Know that 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖. We all have moments where life is challenging. We all have moments where life isn't enjoyable anymore. And that's okay.

There are so many other things that you can do to be okay with where you are at. Finding something that you enjoy doing in your spare time. Learning a new hobby. Finding a project to start that you can work on and be able to finish is a good idea. I like having something that I have accomplished. Taking a few minutes or so to let yourself be a little sad about life can also be an option, but you shouldn't let it overwhelm you every day.

Finally, just remember that y⃣   o⃣   u⃣    a⃣   r⃣   e⃣    l⃣   o⃣   v⃣   e⃣   d⃣! By Someone who is not only the most High Being, but is your Heavenly Father! You have loving Heavenly Parents who care for you, and want you to succeed. They know that life is hard, but They want you to remember Them. In addition to Heavenly Parents, you are loved by me. You have family, friends–you are surrounded by loved ones. I know it can be difficult to believe, see, and understand their love, but ίŦ ιs ⓐ𝓛𝓌𝔞𝕐𝓈 丅нᵉяᗴ!

I love you! I know that God loves you, too! Life is an uphill climb sometimes, and you might not like the hike, but man, the view is always breathtaking! 💜💜💜

I hope this week has been a good one for you! If not, I hope that you have been able to find time to feel God's love for you in one way or another! I will be praying for you! 

Xoxo

Mattie

The focus of our lives should be on Jesus Christ.

I’m loving this new year already!

I've been striving really hard this week to study my scriptures every day, and I am proud of my progress. :)

Two of my brothers were ordained to advancing offices in the Aaronic Priesthood and I am so proud of them! My little brothers are growing up so fast and are such sweet and smart little dudes!

This week was a bit of a challenge in some ways, but I am grateful for the lessons that I learned through those challenges. I learned that nothing is worth mental, emotional, or physical agony. I learned that communication is a two-way street, and as much fun as texting is, the important conversations need to be had in person.

In Relief Society, we talked about Elder Holland's October 2019 General Conference talk entitled "The Message, the Meaning, and the Multitude". There are five main points that he explores in his talk that we discussed.

• Surround yourself with spiritually sensitive people.
• I loved this! These 'spiritually sensitive people' don't have to be of your same beliefs or faith. It is possible to be surrounded by spiritually sensitive people of many different beliefs and faiths. As long as they are uplifting and allow you to do and be what you believe you need to do and be, they can be a spiritually sensitive person for you.
• In the commotion, fix our attention on Him.
• In the commotion of life, we need to fix our attention on Him. He is the Light of the World, and He will keep us grounded and sure.
• We must focus on the Savior in the temple.
• The temple is a wonderful and beautiful place. We go there first to make our own covenants, and then to help others make their own covenants and remember our own. We go to focus on the Lord, and to respect Him, and to remember His gospel.
• The real reason for revelatory adjustments is to focus on Christ.
• There have been many adjustments in the Church recently, and they are helping us to remember the heart of the gospel, which is that it is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and this is His Church. We must never forget that. That is why there have been many changes recently. They are helping us to focus on the Savior.
• Learn from the First Vision Jesus' divine identity.
• Heavenly Father said to Joseph, "Joseph, this is my Beloved Son. Hear Him!" Jesus is the Son of God. Elder Holland said it best: "No greater expression of Jesus’s divine identity, His primacy in the plan of salvation, and His standing in the eyes of God could ever exceed that short seven-word declaration."

I am ever so grateful for my fiancé! We went to the temple yesterday and did some sealings and I just love going to the temple with him! Afterwards, he let me take some pictures of him! I am so excited to be marrying him and I get so emotional just thinking about it! I am so, so blessed to have been chosen by him! 💜

This week is going to be fun! I will make it fun! Looking on the bright side of things is something that I used to do when I was younger and I want it to make a comeback in my life.

God is so good, you guys! I love Him, and know that He loves you. This year will be an amazing one! Can't wait to experience it all with my best friend! 💜

Xoxo

Mattie

Striving.

I am so grateful for this past year! 2019 was a year to remember!

Long story short:

• I went through the temple for the first time.
• I graduated from Brigham Young University with my Bachelor of Science degree in Family Life with an emphasis in Human Development in June.
• I started my first official full-time job after graduation.
• I went to New York for almost two weeks in July.
• I met (mid-August), started dating (later-August), and got engaged (December) to my now fiancé!

It was a wild year but it was full of blessings!

2020 will be a blast! I will spend the first half of the year planning my WEDDING!!! And the second half of the year married to my sweetheart. I am so excited!!!

I learned so much in 2019! Here are 19 things I learned in 2019:

1. I learned that God is always near. I went through the temple for the first time and that opened my eyes to many more revelations than ever before. I have gone back almost every month, I think, and sometimes more than once a week! I hope to keep that tradition alive this year as well!
2. I learned that things happen for a reason, and sometimes we will never know why. Sometimes we might look and look and search and search for answers, but nothing will come of it. That is okay.
3. I learned that the future can be intimidating, but you just need to jump right in! The water might be startling at first, but you will quickly grow accustomed to the change and ready to move ahead.
4. I learned that you can do all the research you want, but nothing can prepare you for any mishaps you were unable to foresee when planning a trip to New York with your friend. So sometimes you will have to make an adventure out of said mishap.
5. I learned that your happiness is only yours to give and take away. No one can make you happy or sad. It is your choice and yours alone. 
6. I learned that things aren’t always what they seem, and sometimes when you go after what you think you want, you come to realize it isn’t actually what you want. 
7. I learned that no one is perfect, but that the right people will love you for who you are anyway. 
8. I learned that the people you can always count on are the ones you can always be real with. 
9. I learned that the blessings of the temple and the blessings of the scriptures go hand in hand. 
10. I learned that it’s more important to be loved than to be right. 
11. I learned that if you put in the work, you can do it all with the help of the Lord. 
12. I learned that life isn’t really a timeline. There aren’t really milestones or anything. Nothing happens for everyone in the exact same way. 
13. I learned that I can get really upset over stupid things because of my anxiety and depression. But I also learned that because of my anxiety and depression, I can get over said stupid things. It might take me longer than I’d like, or than other people can comprehend, and sometimes I might still be upset, but on the whole, I can heal from it in time. 
14. I learned that God and I had two different plans for the year 2019, but ultimately, His was better. 
15. I learned that nothing could prepare me for realizing that who I am now is only a small part of who I really am. 
16. I learned that I can do more. I am capable of being more. 
17. I learned that faith in God is more important than anything–even when I struggle with having faith in Him. And that Jesus Christ is always there for me. Even when I can’t see or feel Him. 
18. I learned that Satan will try to stop you when you are going in the right direction and making the right decisions. It will seem impossible, but God will bless you and help you through it. 
19. I learned that God has blessed my life in the last decade with more than I ever thought possible. I am especially grateful for this last year, and for the next chapter in my life. 

I have a few major goals I want to focus on this year, and I am so pumped!

1. I am going to strive to read and study my scriptures every day–I recently got a Book of Mormon Come Follow Me journal to take notes in, so I would like to fill it up this year!

2. I am going to strive to attend the temple every other week. 

3. I am going to strive to choose to be happy.

This year, I wanted to make my goals SMART goals. SMART goals are:

The last couple of weeks, as I've read the scriptures, and as I have listened in Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting, I've noticed the mention of "striving" in the scriptures. And I have decided that I want "strive/striving" to be my word for 2020.

I want to strive to make the most of what I have been given this year. I want to strive to be the Mattie that I used to be a long time ago. She was always so happy and joyful. She's still in there somewhere. I want to pull her back out. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful new year and a wonderful week this week!

Xoxo

Mattie

The first to see our Shepherd were the shepherds in the fields.

I can't believe that Christmas is this week! I am so very excited! It's going to be so much fun! I also can't believe that it has been a week since I got engaged! It has been such an exciting week already!

Today in sacrament meeting, we had a little testimony meeting and sang Christmas hymns. It was beautiful and touching, and I wanted to share a story that I found on Facebook and share the hymn that I would have liked to have the congregation sing before we ran out of time.

The song I would have liked to have sung is The First Noel. I love the thought that shepherds were among the first to see Him, and that He is our Shepherd. 💜

"Interesting fact: the shepherds in the nativity story were probably no ordinary shepherds. 

In the Mishnah (the written collection of Jewish oral tradition) it “expressly forbids the keeping of flocks throughout the land of Israel except in the wilderness. And only flocks otherwise kept would be those for the temple services.” 

These shepherds were raising lambs that would be sacrificed in the temple—no small task. In fact, a very important task. 

And yet, even as they tended their lambs, when an angel came to tell them of The Lamb, they went immediately to see. They saw that their task to raise animals that would be sacrificed was only important because it led to Christ and His ultimate sacrifice. 

So, they literally left their 99 sheep in search of The One. 

This holiday season, there are a lot of important things on our plate. But I think it is important that we, like the shepherds, realize what each of those events is for and who it is leading us to: Christ. 

And we must be ready at any time, like those shepherds, to leave our 99 to find The One." (Quote from “The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah by Alfred Edershelm)

Art by Daniel Bonnell

I loved this thought and was so grateful to have found it on Facebook. I love the insights and the symbolism of the shepherds and lambs.

“When we see shepherds, may we remember to be humble. When we see wise men, may we remember to be generous. When we see the star, may we remember the Light of Christ, which gives life and light to all things. When we see a tiny baby, may we remember to love unconditionally, with tenderness and compassion.” ~Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, "Christmas is Christlike Love"

This week is Christmas, and while I am so excited to see my family's faces when they open my gifts to them, I am more excited that I get to be with my family forever because of the birth, life, death, and resurrection of our Savior. Because of His birth, and His life, we have the Perfect example to follow. Because of His death and resurrection, we know that the "grave hath no victory" for He has overcome the world. 💜

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Whatever your religion and holidays, I hope you have a blessed holiday season, and a happy New Year! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

"Love is the only word to describe what we've been through together."

This weekend was absolutely perfect!!


Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to Salt Lake City to do a session in the temple before it's closed at the end of the year for renovations (and to see the lights), and then we grabbed a bite to eat. We met up with my sisters (who were both randomly also in Salt Lake city to see the lights). After meeting up with them, he took me to a favorite park of his, where he then PROPOSED to me! I happily (and tearfully) said yes! I am so very excited and happy!! I am so excited for this next adventure in our lives and I can't wait to start planning for it! This has been the best Christmas ever, and it's not even Christmas yet!!!

My life has definitely not gone the way that I planned it or wanted it to...but somehow, looking back, it was just perfect. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have loving Heavenly Parents who want what is best for me and who know just what I need in my life and when. And I pray every day that I will not be such a Negative Nan as much as I have been in the past...but that is something that needs work. And I hope and pray every day that today will be better than yesterday, or that I can have at least one positive moment. So far, I am finding that one positive moment a day leads to more positive moments the next days. 

I am so thankful for my fiancé, who is my best friend and who is absolutely perfect for me. He's smart, kind, sweet, sensitive, thoughtful, a great listener, a worthy priesthood holder, and an all-around amazing son of God. I am so lucky to have him in my life. He makes me want to be a better person every day.

I am thankful for my Heavenly Parents, who love me and have given me so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my earthly parents, who love me and have given me so much experience, knowledge, love, and happiness. I am thankful for my family, who not only tolerate my craziness, but love me in spite of it. 🤣 I am thankful for my friends, who have helped me have a wonderful time and have helped me to look on the bright side of things, and who have helped me to rise above and beyond my mental illnesses and to stand my ground against the adversary.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week! I've got a lot going on this week!! I have jury service tomorrow and really hope I get selected! I'd love a chance to participate as a member of the jury because court life fascinates me. I'm finishing up my Christmas gift shopping and probably sleeping more too! I'm also celebrating Christmas with my fiancé before he leaves to spend time with his family and I am so very excited!!

Happy holidays!! May you have a safe and happy holiday season with your loved ones!! 

Xoxo

Mattie

God’s love shines through the darkness

Grateful for the chances I have to share my love of music and the Savior! Next week I’m playing in sacrament meeting (my violin!) and I am so excited! We practiced today and it sounded so beautiful! I can’t wait for my ward to hear it.

I’m also grateful for the chances that I have to serve and bless those around me! Yesterday I had the opportunity to watch my friend’s kids while she and her husband went to the Salt Lake Temple. It was so much fun! Her kids are just so, so darling and I love them to pieces and I was so glad I got to watch them while she went out with her husband. I know how important it is for parents to have date night, and I am always down to play with the kids. We had such a wonderful time, it was so sweet. 💜

Today, my family watched the First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional, which was so good!! Afterwards, we watched the new Christmas movie, Christmas Jars, which was so cute! Right now, I’m watching the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert from a few years ago, featuring  Sutton Foster and Hugh Bonneville, with my parents. It’s such an amazing concert! I highly recommend it! It’s full of Christmas love and feelings. “God’s love does shine in the darkness.” 💜💜💜

I’m so grateful and excited for Christmas. I’m grateful for my Savior, whose life led the way for us to be able to learn, grow, and be able to become like (and someday live with again) my Heavenly Parents. I’m grateful for His mother, Mary, and for her love for God, and her sacrifices.

For those who do not celebrate Christmas, I wish you the happiest of holidays! May you have peace, love, and happiness this holiday season.

May you have a wonderful week! This week, my family and I are going to see A Christmas Carol at the Hale Center Theater in Orem and I’m very excited! I love the story and am grateful for the messages it shares.

I’m grateful for the blessings in my life, and for the people in my life. I’m grateful for a loving Savior, a loving Father in Heaven, and a loving Mother in Heaven. I’m grateful for the power of love, and for the chances I have to love and serve those around me—whether or not I know them personally. It’s such an amazing experience to serve people who I’ve just barely met, and it’s even better to serve my loved ones. 💜💜💜

Again, have a blessed and wonderful week!! Love you!

Xoxo
Mattie

God never promised life without heartache.

Happy December! Wow! Can you believe it is the last month of the year 2019 already?? I swear the year just started! This year has had a whole lot of ups and downs, and I have been through so much already! Here's just a small sample:

• This year, I started my last semester of college! And then I also graduated college!
• I went through the temple for the first time and then upped my temple attendance throughout the rest of the year! I've learned so much from the temple and my testimony of the power of the temple and of my Heavenly Father and my Savior has grown so much over the course of this year! 💜
• I turned 22, bought my second car, entered two posters in BYU's Fulton Conference and had one of them win FIRST PLACE!
• I had to get an appendectomy! That was a rough couple of days. 
• My family and I went to Vernal, Utah for our family vacation! It was amAAAAzing!!
• In July, I went on a trip to New York with my friend! 
• I started my first full-time job post-college and have been living the dream ever since!
• I saw Wicked TWO TIMES this year–once was in New York and it was absolutely phenomenal because we had front row seats!!
• "Even when it has been dark for days, the Son always comes." (Me, 07.23.2019)
• With my family and extended family on my mom's side, we went to the Dinosaur Park in Ogden, Utah for our family reunion! It was a blast!
• In September, my coworkers picked me for teacher of the month! It was such a blessing!!
• I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend, who is the sweetest, kindest, most respectful and thoughtful guy ever! I am sure grateful for him in my life!
• I celebrated the one year anniversary of getting my first car (#KingRupertMayHeRestInPeace).
• I made a Facebook page for my blog! (Yes, this blog!)
• Went to Salt Lake City for the October conference Saturday morning session.
• Went to my first BYU Spectacular as an Alumni! Ben Rector and Hilary Weeks were AMAZING!!
• I got to meet KRISTIN CHENOWETH AT A BOOK SIGNING!!! This was definitely one of the highlights of my year!
• I got to go to the temple with my younger brother for our sister's wedding. It was a very special day. The First Three, all in the temple together for a sealing. 
• I got to see Frozen II twice in November! I have always loved Frozen and Frozen II is BETTER! I loved it so much and can't wait to buy it when it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray!
• Thanksgiving was amazing! Yummy turkeys and pies!
• I have been working on trying to figure out/remember MY JOB. The one that God gave ME. No one else. Me. He has given me everything I need to do it. I just need to get up and do it (once, of course, I know what it is. I have some ideas but nothing certain yet. Gotta keep praying).
• I learned that LOVE is the answer to all things. Love was the common theme this year. And my self-love increased much this year.
• This year, my mental health journey has had some cRaAaAZzyy times! I have had some pretty amazing breakthroughs and beautiful thoughts, though, and I am very proud of the progress that I have made!
• I learned a lot about God's blessings for me, and about His plans, timing, and how everything has its time and season.
• Now it is December! Time for #LightTheWorld, the Christmas story, Christ's birth, finding Christmas presents for my loved ones (without breaking the bank/going overboard), and remembering the reason for the season.

There is so much to be thankful for! I have had such an amazing year! There have been so many ups!!! But there have also been many downs. Because one cannot know joy without knowing sorrow. One cannot know up without knowing down. And God never promised us a life without heartache. There has been (and will always be) some heartache in my life this year. And that will never change. There will always be heartache. But that's okay. I just need to remember to pray for peace and love, and to hope for a better tomorrow. And to keep my chin up, because there are far more happy days than sad days. I just need to remember to focus on the happy days and not let the sad days ruin the rest of the days. 

I cannot wait to see where the rest of this year takes me, and to see what's in store for me in 2020! I have a feeling next year is going to be my best year yet! 

Xoxo

Mattie