Making conscious decisions to change.

 Happy Sunday, my friends!

I am so grateful for the beautiful days that have been occurring this past week! It's a friendly reminder that it is FALL! 

This week, I have been learning about making more (and better) conscious decisions in my life. It's not always easy, because sometimes when we are living in the moment, things just happen. But I've been learning that when you take a step back, slow down, and remember those who you need to help, your capability to make those conscious decisions increases. 

I am reminded of the story of the woman who was found in adultery (odd segue, I know, but bear with me). The Pharisees bring the woman to Jesus, and tried to catch Him in His teachings. But Jesus stops and stoops down, and says nothing. After they continue to ask Him, He stands, and says, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." The Pharisees, "convicted by their own conscience", walk away. 

Let me tell you why I was reminded of this story. I have been working on my temper lately, and sometimes I remember in the moment of anger to take a step back, so I can calm down and come back when I am calm again. My anger can be represented by the Pharisees. I am like Jesus, and my conscious decision is when He chooses to stoop down. The feelings of anger are like the Pharisees, and they keep pestering me to explode. But, like Jesus, I can stand firm, and not be provoked. 

I know that that is an odd comparison, but I love that the stories and parables found in the scriptures can be applied to so many different situations and circumstances in our lives!

While I haven't been perfect at working on my temper, I know and treasure that I am doing better. I am recognizing when I am upset, and when I am unable to discuss why I am upset. I am getting better at saying, "I don't want to talk about that right now." I am grateful that I have a loving Father in Heaven and Savior who are working with me to become better, and I am grateful that I have a loving and patient husband who has been so understanding.

I'm grateful for the chance to start over each and every week. I am grateful for my Savior, who loves me, and who is by my side. I am grateful for His Atonement, and for His willingness to die for me so that I can repent and try again in order to be able to live with Heavenly Father again. I am grateful that I get to be with my husband for time and all eternity. 

Hope you all have a great week!! September is almost over, and October is almost here! Happy Fall!

Xoxo

Mattie

Christlike in marriage.

 Happy four months to my sweet husband!

As of today, we have officially been married for four months, and I can honestly say life is better with Ricky than without. There are lots of ups and downs, and there are moments when we do not agree on things, but we are learning. We are learning how to compromise, how to love each other, how to bless each other, and how to be more Christlike. 

We were watching Beauty and the Beast (2017) yesterday, and–during the scene where the Wardrobe was helping Belle with her dress–as I was mentally admiring Belle's beautiful dress, I said, "I wish I was a princess," and Ricky said, "Why do you think I make you dinner every other night?" And that is my husband, ladies and gentleman. He is such a blessing to me, and I am so grateful for him.  🥰💜

We are both still learning things about each other, and while it can be hard some days, at the end of the day, he is my best friend, my person, my love, and my HOME. With him, I am comfortable. I'm not afraid to speak my mind–but I do need to work on attitude and tone. With him, I am honest. I tell him every day how I feel about him–I say, "I love you" probably about 20,000 times a day. With him, I am true. Sometimes he gets my jokes, and sometimes he doesn't–but I make the jokes anyway because it fits the moment. With him, I am myself. There are days when I just need to cry, and he holds me and lets me cry. And in those moments, life is perfect. Because I am with my husband, being vulnerable, and he is with me, being loving and supportive. 

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The other day, I posted on my Facebook page something that I wanted to share here. The link to the post is here. But I also wanted to post the picture and words here, just because I am proud of them:

I’m grateful for beauty, grace, mercy, love, and kindness. I watched the 2015 version of Cinderella tonight and was reminded of the beauty that is Lily James’ version of Cinderella. The movie is beautiful, cinematographically, as well as story-wise. It is absolutely one of my favorites and I will never get tired of watching it. 

The quote said by Ella’s mother towards the beginning of the movie is one of my favorites, and I LOVE how Ella exemplifies it throughout the movie. She is full of grace and beauty, as well as kindness. I believe she is so Christlike and loving in this rendition. 

We must have courage and be kind, even when others are not being kind. We must have courage and be loving, even when others are not. 

Love is the answer to all of the problems in this world, I know it. Love and kindness. 💜

Happy Sabbath Day, friends and family! God loves you, and I do too! I hope you all have a blessed week. I am looking forward to this week, as I should be able to start working on other projects besides "cleaning and organizing my house". I'm excited to start decorating, and to finish my curtains projects, and to start my refinishing furniture projects. It's going to take me a few weeks, I'm sure, but I am excited to move into this next chapter of projects!

Xoxo

Mattie

Building a foundation on Christ.

Hello, hello!

I don't know what happened, but at some point, I became more busy and less consistent with my blogging on Sundays. It may have something to do with the fact that Church isn't going as normal. Or the fact that we are in a pandemic. I'm not sure. Either way, I'm trying my very hardest to get back into the habit, because it is one of my favorite Sunday activities.

This week has been a busy week for our little family! We have started to move into our new place, and I am so excited!! We will hopefully be all moved in by Tuesday, so keep your fingers crossed things go the way we need them to! I am looking forward to being able to unpack in our new place and getting to make it "home". 

We also were able to celebrate Ricky's birthday yesterday! Even though we are in a pandemic, I tried to make it fun. I got him some movies, a book, lots of popcorn, and an outdoor game set. I baked a really cool cake, and made a really yummy favorite of his, chicken casserole. :)

We are blessed. Ricky hasn't been feeling well lately, and was fortunately able to get paid time off from work for several days. I am hopeful that he will be feeling better by the end of the week, because I have been making sure he has been getting lots of rest. :) 

Helaman 5:12 "And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

I love this scripture! I am so grateful for the reminder that when we trust in the Lord, and build upon Him, that we cannot fall. This works in all aspects of our lives, but since getting married, I have discovered that it is ever more important to build your foundation (of marriage) upon Christ. Life isn't easier when you build your foundation on Christ, but with Him, life is more bearable. Together, my husband and I–with the Lord at our side–together we can move forward in life knowing that God will bless and guide us. 💜

I know that we are in crazy times right now, but I also know that God is at the help, and as we put our trust and faith in Him, things will work out. Hope everyone has a great week! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

Lessons in love.

It's been awhile since I last updated! In that time, I have married my best friend for time and all eternity in the temple, vacationed in St. George for a few days, dreaded going back to work because it meant I wasn't spending all my time with my husband, gone back to work, had to start working from home again, taken a trip to Moab, and started looking for a new apartment and job. It's been kind of crazy and hectic but fun!! 

Our Wedding Day – May 20, 2020

While we have been married for a short time, I have learned so much already about marriage. There are many difficult things about marriage–far more than I had anticipated–but there are also many wonderful and glorious things about marriage.

I have learned that there are lots of tiny little things that your spouse does that can be considered nuisances that will drive you insane.
But there are TONS of tiny little things that your spouse does that are sweet acts of service and love that will fill your cup to the brim.

I have learned that sometimes you will be doing all that you can do, and it will still not be enough for your spouse.
But there will be one thing that you do that will mean the world to your spouse each and every day.

I have learned that some days, you will be so busy that you and your spouse will hardly see each other.
But there will be a moment where your spouse will send you a sweet "I'm-thinking-of-you" text that makes your day.

I have learned that there will be times when you both want to do completely different activities and neither of you wants to give in.
But then you both decide on something else to do that day and agree to do the other activities at a different time.

I have learned that there will be moments when you both need some time by yourself to collect your thoughts because you have completely different views on a topic and discussing it together can be emotional.

I have learned that living with another person who does things differently than you do is HARD.

Especially when they've been on their own for years and don't always think about things in the long run the way that you do. Especially when they are always wanting to be outside more than inside. Especially when they want to stay up later and sleep in later than you. And especially when you feel like everything that you’re doing to be a good spouse isn’t enough. 

That’s what makes it hard.

But then he drives you home from the dentist and takes care of you while you’re not feeling well and he whispers sweet things to you before bed and he kisses your forehead and he makes you breakfast and he takes a couple days where he gets up early to take you to work because he needs the car later and doesn’t even want anything in return and he helps you fold the laundry and do the dishes all without asking and he helps you make dinner and it’s like—I couldn’t have asked for anything better. 💜

I have learned that God is in the details of our lives. I am blessed with the greatest husband who is always trying to put me ahead of him, and he is always thinking about our future. I am grateful for the hard worker that he is, and for the acts of love and service that he is always doing for me and for others.

I have learned that the words our prophets and apostles and have spoken in the past and recent years about marriage are TRUE.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, "marriage 'will be the most important decision of your life. … Marry the right person in the right place at the right time.'"

The decision to get married was the most important decision of my life at that point, but I have come to realize that following getting married, the decision to love and choose my husband every day is the most important decision I make. And it's the easiest decision I make every day.

In the Gospel Topics section on marriage, it says, "Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither person exercising dominion over the other, but with each encouraging, comforting, and helping the other." I love this! Marriage is about coming together, creating a new life, and being there for each other. 

Some days are HARD. Marriage is easily the best and hardest thing I've ever done. Combining our two lives together has been challenging some days. We both have different ideas on how to spend our Sundays, on bedtime routines, on morning routines, on after-work-routines...and it has been an adventure trying to learn and create a new routine together. One of the things I love about Ricky is that he is so selfless, and he wants to make sure that I am happy and comfortable. It's hard for me to get him to try and focus on himself–some days, I have to do it for him!

Most of all, I have realized that marriage is a lesson in love. I believe that there is a reason that Jesus Christ is the bridegroom, and the Church is the bride. Jesus wants to love and take care of us, but we have to be committed to Him, and we have to make sure that He is in the center of our lives. We covenant with Him to always remember Him, and to love God and our neighbor. When we keep our covenants with Him, we receive blessings. As I remember and keep the covenants and promises that I made to and with Ricky, I remember my covenants with my Father in Heaven, and how the covenants I made with Him, and then with Ricky and Him, go hand in hand. As I honor, love, and respect my husband, I can remember to honor, love, and respect my Heavenly Father and my Savior. 

In an Ensign article by Richard K. Hart entitled The Marriage Metaphor (which I highly recommend reading, as it gives more insight into why the metaphor of marriage is so important), he closes the article by saying, "The Bridegroom or the Lamb in the book of Revelation is the Bridegroom spoken of by Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Hosea and other prophets of the Old Testament. Those who covenant with the Bridegroom, and then remain faithful to those covenants, will be prepared to receive great blessings at the wedding, the second coming of the Bridegroom."

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, who has blessed us in our marriage and efforts. I am grateful for loving and supportive friends and family, who have helped Ricky and I in this transition phase of our life. I am grateful for my husband, who has shown so much selfless love towards me. I am grateful for his kindness, tenderness, thoughtfulness, and his sense of humor. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Please be cautious and safe during this uncertain time. God loves you, and I do too. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Healing my wounded soul.

Nothing heals a wounded soul more than nature and music.

Today on my lunch break, I realized that I was feeling very depressed and down. I did not know why, nor do I know now. Sometimes I just get very sad, and I have to figure out how to move past it.

We are no longer allowed to eat in the break room (thanks to COVID-19 🙄) so I've been grabbing my picnic blanket out of my car and eating on the grass under this beautiful green tree for the past week.

The time I go for lunch, the sun is usually just peeking out of those branches, and sometimes gets in my eyes. But I love it. I love to look at the blue sky, contrasting the green leaves of the tree.

Today, because I was feeling sad, I read Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk Like a Broken Vessel. It was a reminder to me that it's okay to need to take time to rest and recoup. After that, I put on some of my "Sunday/Spiritual" music to listen to while I was eating lunch/laying on the blanket in the grass.

It didn't stop me from being sad right away–or even completely–but knowing that God hears me, and sees me, and knows how I'm feeling was a blessing. I was still a bit sad the rest of the day at work, but I did feel better after listening to my music, and after breathing in some fresh air and just taking a little time to relax.

Though my mind and soul might be bruised and sore, God is taking care of my wounds and I will feel better soon, I know it. It just takes time. Not our time, but His time.

I am not going to lie, when I realized that I was feeling depressed, my very first thought was that I just wanted to cry. Which is okay! It's okay to cry! And I did want to. And I almost did, but I then I had the thought that I should read to Elder Holland's talk, and it was exactly what I needed. And then I listened to my music because I just needed the Spirit that my Sunday music brings, and it was so beautiful. It was quiet, peaceful, and almost like my own personal Sacred Grove.

I am so very grateful for my husband, who is so compassionate and wonderful and loving towards me not just always, but especially when I am at my lowest points. I so appreciate his love, attitude, and the sacrifices that he makes for me to ensure that I feel comforted and loved! 

I hope everyone has a great Father's Day weekend! I am so sorry I haven't been posting as often. I am working on a blog post that is taking time because I want to get it right. In the meantime, I had this thought today and wanted to share.

I love you all! Married life is wonderful and I'll fill you all in on that later!

God is great, you are loved, let's be kind!!

Xoxo

Mattie Ruth Radke VELASQUEZ

Blessed to love and be loved.

Today is Sunday May 17, 2020, and today is also my last Sunday as an unmarried woman, because I am marrying my best friend in 3 days!!!

This has been a long road, full of loneliness at times, as well as heartache. But I was blessed with amazing friends, mentors, leaders, and a loving Savior and Father in Heaven to guide me along my journey in life. Ricky came into my life unexpectedly, but he was a fresh drink of water. He was just what I needed at that moment in life, and then I realized that I didn't want to live my life without him. Luckily, he realized he didn't want to live his life without me, either. 💜

We are so excited to begin our life together!!! I am so excited to go on adventures with him and to create our life together! I fall more in love with him every day and I am so grateful to be able to keep falling in love with him every day!

Though our wedding planning experience hasn't been what we had expected, it has helped me remember to focus on Ricky and I, and the covenants and promises that we will be making with and to each other and Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for Ricky's tenderness, his kind heart, his compassionate nature, his respectful attitude, and his sweet love towards me. He is a wonderful example to me of being Christlike, and I am SO blessed to be able to love (and be loved by) him!

We are two different people, with two completely different life experiences, and we won't always see eye to eye about things, but I always want to share my life with him. 💜

I am so grateful for the amazing examples of loving and healthy relationships in my life that I have to look up to. My grandparents, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my friends, and all of the General Authorities. The love that they have for, and how they talk about, their wives, is SO sweet, and I hope that Ricky and I will talk about each other like that in the future. 

In a BYU Devotional given by Elder Richard G. Scott in 2010 entitled, To Have Peace and Happiness, he says:

"Pure love is an incomparable, potent power for good. Righteous love is the foundation of a successful marriage. It is the primary cause of contented, well-developed children. Who can justly measure the righteous influence of a mother’s love? What enduring fruits will result from the seeds of truth that you as a mother can carefully plant and lovingly cultivate in the fertile soil of your own child’s trusting mind and heart? As a mother, you have been given divine instincts to help you sense your child’s special talents and unique capacities. With your husband, you can nurture, strengthen, and cause those traits to flower.
[...]
In closing I share an eternal principle that will assure you of a rich, purposeful life whether you are single or married. I have found that the best way to live life is to seek to know the will of the Lord as guided by the Holy Spirit. He knows what is best for you. As you are obedient and exercise faith in Him, He will help you realize His will for you in your life. May the Lord inspire, guide, and richly bless each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

I am so grateful for the loving and sweet examples of the prophets and apostles on how to love your spouse. I am looking forward to growing spiritually with Ricky as we move forward in our lives together. He is such a blessing in my life, and I hope that I can be a blessing to him, too.

We will be having a virtual wedding via Zoom! If you would like to celebrate with us, please let me know and I will send the link to you.

I hope you all have an exciting week! I know I will! I'm getting married and then going to St. George with my HUSBAND!!! I am so blessed to love him and to be loved by him!

God loves you and has amazing plans in store for you! You are wonderful, amazing, and loved by so many!

Xoxo
Mattie

Shining bright with hope.

It's been a few weeks since I've updated my blog. I'm sorry about that. Life has been crazy and hectic. Things have been changing almost every day and it's been stressing me out, and I needed to take a breather.

Over the last few weeks, I have had a lot going on. I have had the opportunity to move into my new apartment, where Ricky will be joining me on May 20th when we are married. I have had the stress of a new job, which keeps changing things almost every day, and it's very hard to keep track of sometimes. And I have still been finalizing weddings plans. We were kind of counting on being able to use the church's cultural hall, but that is no longer an option. Instead, we will be getting married in my parents' front yard, and we are trying to figure out how to do a Facebook live or Zoom call or something like that so that Ricky's parents can participate, as well as any other extended family and friends of ours that would like to participate.

Today, the Church released that they are opening some temples in Utah for live sealings of previously endowed members. Ricky and I fall into this category. While I would much like to wait until we can invite so many more of our family and friends, as the future is unknown and we don't know when that would be, we are going to try to be sealed as soon as possible. While I am unsure yet how many guests we can have, I am sure it will be no more than 20, as that is the state's current number for "groups".

I am not going to lie, I am kind of super disappointed and sad. This whole experience has just been STRESSFUL for me. I haven't been able to really enjoy my time being engaged. My wedding plans have been changing on the daily, and I don't even know what's happening anymore. The minute that some temples were announced as being reopened for previously endowed members of the Church to be sealed as husband and wife, EVERYONE I know was sending me the link to the article, and asking if that changed things. I am not going to lie–I cried on my lunch break today because I was so overwhelmed and stressed. I was just about ready to relax because everything was pretty much done for the wedding–we just needed to buy Ricky's tie, probably some wedding decorations, and get/make food for the wedding brunch–and then the temples reopened and added a new element for me to think on.

I am really trying not to stress about this, but it is just so much more emotionally and mentally taxing for me than I thought it would be. I am grateful that I have Ricky to lean on. He has been so amazing through everything. I am so lucky to be the one that he chooses everyday, and I am so grateful that I get to choose him every day. It's the best and easiest choice I've ever made in my entire life. He is the brightest spot in my life when things are dark. He is always shining bright, and I love that about him.

Photo Credit: Beyond The Darkroom Photography

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In Elder L. Whitney Clayton's General Conference talk in April 2013 "Marriage: Watch and Learn", he gives some great marriage advice that I loved.

"First, I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless.

Next, faith. Successful eternal marriages are built on the foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and adherence to His teachings. I have observed that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing. Their mutual quest is to be obedient and good. They do not consider the commandments to be a buffet from which they can pick and choose only the most appealing offerings.

Faith is the foundation of every virtue that strengthens marriage. Strengthening faith strengthens marriage. Faith grows as we keep the commandments, and so do the harmony and joy in marriage. Thus, keeping the commandments is fundamental to establishing strong eternal marriages. Watch and learn: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of happy eternal marriages.

Third, repentance. I have learned that happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. It is an essential element in every good marital relationship. Spouses who regularly conduct honest self-examination and promptly take needed steps to repent and improve experience a healing balm in their marriages. Repentance helps restore and maintain harmony and peace.

Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness. Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages.

Fourth, respect. I have observed that in wonderful, happy marriages, husbands and wives treat each other as equal partners. Practices from any place or any time in which husbands have dominated wives or treated them in any way as second-class partners in marriage are not in keeping with divine law and should be replaced by correct principles and patterns of behavior."

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I am so excited to be Ricky's partner and equal in life. I am so excited to go shopping every other weekend with him. I am so excited to discuss dinner options for the week. I am so excited to wake up next to him every morning. I am so excited to be able to study our scriptures and pray together in our own home. I am so excited to be able to create our life and family together. I am so excited to be able to grow closer together and grow closer to God together. I am so excited to be able to move forward in life with him by my side. Together, I know that we will be able to make our way through this crazy adventure called life together. 

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed me in so many ways. I am so grateful for the examples that I have to look up to in my life of great marriages. I am grateful for the wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive and loving. Even though things keep changing on me, and it is stressful, I am learning to work through them. I am learning to take things one thing at a time. Some days, I don't always remember that. But each day is something new. Each day is different. Each day is a blessing. And I know that I am never alone.

Xoxo

Mattie