From ashes to beauty.

I had a few questions that were answered in church today. The first was answered when we were singing the sacrament hymn, but I didn't fully realize it until afterwards when I was reflecting on the words of the hymn:

The sacrament hymn today was "Reverently and Meekly Now", which is one of my favorites. One line in particular stood out to me today as I've been sitting here pondering. "E'en forgiven now by me." This song is sung from the point of view of the Savior, and I desperately needed that message today from Him. It brought peace to my heart and I'm grateful that that specific hymn was chosen today, for I needed its message: "Oh forgive, as thou wouldst be E'en forgiven now by me." Forgiving yourself is really hard, harder than forgiving others, sometimes. But because Christ has forgiven me, I can forgive myself, and start over and try again.

One of the other questions was answered in Gospel Doctrine, and it was a reminder piece of advice that I love. We still get credit for trying. Another thing that was said in class today was that "There is value in doing things, even if you don't reach your goal." Piggybacking off of that a little, I had this thought: sometimes we are asked to (prepare to) go through things, and sometimes we don't end up doing those things because God wanted to see how far we were willing to go. And, sometimes we only needed to go down the path to it, and we didn't need to do it. It's a test of our faith, and our trust in Him.

In Relief Society, we talked about President Monson's talk from the October 2013 General Conference entitled, "I Will Not Fail Thee, nor Forsake Thee". We talked about the Provo Tabernacle fire, that happened in December of 2010, and how the Tabernacle was rebuilt into the Provo City Center Temple. We talked about how it was gutted, and everything inside was burned and gone, but then it was rebuilt to be the new beautiful City Center Temple. This was sort of used as an analogy for us–sometimes we go through fires and trials that burn us because they're meant to help us rebuild who we are, and change who we are to become someone better. We go from ashes to beauty. I've seen that in my life. I've gone through a whole bunch of trials that have burned me, and torn me down, and they hurt, but I've changed because of them, and I've grown. I'm stronger, and more confident. I loved this quote from President Monson's talk: "We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were–better than we were, more understanding than what we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had." We talked about how God will bless us in His own time, which is true, but do we believe that He will? Do we choose Him above all else? Do we thank Him for loving us enough to cut us down? For allowing us to change and grow? He knows what we need to do/be, and He knows how to get us there.

My home teachers came today, and they talked about enduring our trials well, and how one of the blessings of enduring our trials well is that other people will be more comfortable around us, because we'll be happier. And I said, basically, that even though I've kind of been having trouble feeling the Spirit lately, I have still been able to look back and see Heavenly Father's hand in my life. I've still been able to see the blessings He's sent me as I've been going through some trials. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that I can still see His blessings. I'm grateful that I can still feel Him.

Xoxo
Mattie