The touch of the Master's hand.

Going to the temple always brings blessings to my life. I am grateful for the time that I took to go to the temple yesterday. I received a lot of peace, and some answers, and I am just mainly very grateful for the love of my Father in Heaven. It has been quite a week, and though it didn't go the way that I wanted it to, I know that it went the way that it was supposed to. Though I don't know what the future holds in store for me, I know that as long as I take time to strengthen and develop my relationship with my Savior and my Heavenly Father, everything will eventually fall into place, and things will work out the way that they're supposed to. 

I am pretty sure that I received some revelation this weekend that is going to be challenging for me to follow. But that is the way that it is. Receiving revelation isn't always going to be comfortable. In fact, most of the time, it's not going to be comfortable at all. Change is HARD. Change can be painful. But He will help you find a way to achieve the change that you need to grow and progress and be better. 

Every week, I make mistakes, and every week I must try again. I am grateful for the love of a Savior who supports and sustains me when I am broken and unable to do so myself. Some days are harder than others, but as long as I have the support of my Savior and Heavenly Father, I will not fail. 

There is this poem that I LOVE and Kyle read it in sacrament meeting today, so I was thinking about it all day, and I wanted to share it with you. 

The Touch of the Master's Hand

~

'Twas battered and scarred,

And the auctioneer thought it

hardly worth his while

To waste his time on the old violin,

but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people", he cried,

"Who starts the bidding for me?"

"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"

"Two dollars, who makes it three?"

"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three,"

But, No,

From the room far back a gray bearded man

Came forward and picked up the bow,

Then wiping the dust from the old violin

And tightening up the strings,

He played a melody, pure and sweet

As sweet as the angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer

With a voice that was quiet and low,

Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"

As he held it aloft with its' bow.

"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"

"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"

"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,

Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,

But some of them cried,

"We just don't understand."

"What changed its' worth?"

Swift came the reply.

"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

"And many a man with life out of tune

All battered and bruised with hardship

Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd

Much like that old violin

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,

A game and he travels on.

He is going once, he is going twice,

He is going and almost gone.

But the Master comes,

And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,

The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought

By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.

- Myra Brooks Welch

The message of this poem is so beautiful. It's an analogy for us. We might seem, feel, or be broken, bruised, and worthless...but in the hands of our Father in Heaven, and in our Savior...we can become beautiful, whole, and priceless. It might seem like we are far beyond His reach, and that we can never return, and that we can never be whole or clean again, but that couldn't be further from the truth. It might take time, but He will tighten up our strings, tighten up our bow, and–if needed–restring and repair the violin and bow, and He will use us to make the most beautiful and mesmerizing melody. 

Kyle also said something that I absolutely loved...He said, "Where justice and mercy meet is the love of Christ." I loved that. The Atonement of Jesus Christ, and His love for us, is the balance of justice and mercy. He gave it all so that we could return to live with our Father in Heaven again. 

It isn't always easy to come back, but it is so easy to find Him. You just have to look. He is a part of our every day life and we shouldn't be afraid to look for Him. He is not just in our lives once every few pages. He's consistently there, and recognizing Him in our lives brings us joy. 

I know that God has touched my life in the most beautiful ways. I know that I haven't always done what He has wanted me to do...but He has blessed me anyway. As I have tried to live my life as He would have me do, I have felt His hand. I have felt His inspiration, and His loving touch. I have felt Him tighten my strings, and restring me when I was broken. I am practicing each week and He is tuning me up. He is preparing me for the final concert, and I know that with His help, I will be ready. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Mine is going to be long and very exhausting but I have faith that I can make it to the end! God loves you and so do I!

Xoxo

Mattie

There is a work to do that only you can do.

This week, I've learned a lot about the difference between what I want for me, and what God wants for me. But I've also learned a lot about how sometimes, it's entirely up to me.

I've been thinking a lot about my future plans after graduation, and how it's very up in the air. There's nothing set in stone for future job opportunities, and it's very frustrating for me haha. I feel like I'm going to pick the wrong job, the wrong city, the wrong place to live...which is poppycock. If I feel good about it, it will be fine. I guess the thing that scares me the most is there are so many options, and I don't want to make the wrong choice.

ANYWAY.

The main thing I've learned this week...is to keep praying, and trust that God will provide. Have faith that things will work out. All of this is easier said than done...but I know that things will unfold in miraculous and beautiful ways, and all of the things that God has promised me will happen in time.

I also learned something about personal revelation this week. I learned that I might be placing all of the ways that God normally speaks to me in a box...and not looking outside that box for answers. I learned that I need to open my eyes a little more.

Last week, Sister Jean B. Bingham of the General Relief Society presidency came to speak to my stake and a few others, and it was AMAZING! I am so grateful I went! She talked about so many things that I really loved. She talked about how we are often the hardest on ourselves...But Heavenly Father knows absolutely everything about us, and He loves us! He absolutely adores us and has such an amazing plan for us. He has such confidence and trust in us. He is completely and perfectly loving.

She talked about how we need to take time to enjoy the beauties of each day. There is something beautiful in every day...Even if it is just one thing. Even if it is something small.

She talked about Proverbs 3:5-6 in depth and I loved what she expounded upon.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
Trust means to rely on the integrity, strength, and ability of someone (also known as 'faith')
We have to open our heart for spiritual guidance. We don't know everything.
In all thy ways means everything. Physical, spiritual, emotional, etc.
Acknowledge Him in everything. Look for His hand, and recognize that anything we accomplish, we accomplish with His help.
He shall direct thy paths–This one really stood out to me. He allows us to learn from our decisions, and He gives us little nudges and hints that help us grow and learn, and develop. Sometimes He doesn't give us the answer outright because He trusts us to make our own decisions.

There are many roads...but only one path. The covenant path. We are stronger because of the covenants we make. I loved this point that she made and am so grateful for my decision to go through the temple last month. Every week, I am more and more grateful, and more and more sure, that that was the right decision. She said that joy is a result of keeping our covenants, and I know that this is true.

My favorite quote that she said was, "Married or not, there is a work for you to do that only you can do." There are things that only you can contribute...The Lord can use you for incredible good. The Lord uses us in many ways to bless those around us. Is there something you can do to change the life of just one? Yes, there is. And you don't have to travel thousands of miles to make a difference.

The last thing that I loved that she talked about were 4 keys to progress.

1. Trust in the Lord
2. Remember who you are
3. Act in faith
-the mistake that we often make is doing nothing. Make a choice, and then find out what you can learn from the experience.
4. Keep your covenants
-It is up to us to figure out how to use the gifts we have been given...It is up to us to figure out how to embrace and learn from our covenants.

Jesus Christ is always the answer. He is the Rock, and if we build on Him, we will not fall.

I am learning each and every day about how imperfect I am, and about how much God really wants me to return to Him. Remembering to trust Him...and actually trusting Him...is sometimes harder than it sounds. I'm not perfect at it–far from it–but the Lord knows that, and understands that, and He makes it so that I can have help. He has placed some amazing people and examples in my life. I can turn to them anytime and they will always help me when they are able. They always say exactly what I need to hear and I know that God works miracles for me through them. I hope that I can be like them in time, and be able to bless those around me.

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Remember whose you are, and that He has a plan for you! He loves you very much, and so do I.

Xoxo
Mattie

What's the point? Love.

There are times when I feel very lost, scared, and alone. There are times when I feel insecure, unloved, and broken. There are times when I feel like I made a terrible mistake, and that I should have known better. But when I look back...I might have been lost and scared, yes, but I wasn't alone. I might have been insecure and broken, but I wasn't unloved. I might have made a terrible mistake, and I probably should have known better, yes, but mistakes are meant to be learned from.

I think that negative feelings are meant to be learned from, too, because all of these times were times that I learned something. I learned that God is always with me, and I don't have to be scared because I'm not alone. I learned that God takes my brokenness and uses it to build me up again because He loves me so much. I learned that sometimes I'm human, and I make mistakes because I'm human...but that doesn't mean that God doesn't love me still.

When I learn from my mistakes, and I don't make them again...I'm taking a step forward. Sometimes I repeat the mistake again...and that's okay. I'm not perfect, and sometimes it takes awhile for things to sink in. But no matter what...God still loves me. He is with me every step of the way, and He is supporting me through all of my mistakes and decisions...every. single. time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's the point? What's the point of being here? I think that the point is to love. We do this by 1) gaining a relationship with our Father in Heaven (Love God); 2) gaining a relationship with ourself (love yourself); 3) gaining a relationship with our neighbors (love your neighbor); and 4) spreading love and kindness. This is the Gospel according to Mattie, so it's not doctrine, but I think it's a pretty solid foundation to at least start with. Because this is really what Jesus did...Jesus loved everyone, and aren't we trying to be like Jesus?

I think it's really important to love others. I really do. I think it's important for everyone to feel loved, listened to, and to feel like they matter, because they are loved, and they do matter. It's important for everyone to have someone who supports them in their trials, and it's important for everyone to have someone in their life that they can count on to be there, through the good times and the bad times.

I know that when I am focused on serving other people...my struggles and trials seem to slip my mind...and they become less important, and less of a worry. And everything seems to work out. The things I am worried about not only fade into the background, but somehow work themselves out.

When I am focused on my relationship with my Father in Heaven, I find that I have more time for things. Not only do I have more time to do my homework, but I also have more motivation to do my homework. I have more time to study my scriptures, and go to the temple.

God is so loving, you guys. He really is. He has made it possible for us to be able to return to Him through the atoning sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ loves us so much that He was willing to take upon Him all the pains, afflictions, sins, and temptations of the world...as well as many, many more things. He knows all that you have gone through, and He knows how to help you through it. You just have to turn to Him. He will bless you and be with you the whole time. There is nothing you have experienced that He hasn't also experienced. He knows how it felt when you broke you arm falling out of the tree that you climbed to impress your friends; He knows how it felt when your best friend moved out of state; He knows how it felt when your dad passed away...He knows all of these things and more. Any heartache you've experienced, He has, too. Any mistakes you've made...He knows how to help you through them.

I highly recommend you listening to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7aXoDGSKos It's an amazing cover and it's so, so, SO beautiful! I am so happy that I was able to find this song because it's such a special song that bears testimony of the love that God has for us no matter what.

I hope you know that I love you. I really do. I want you to be happy. And I know that God loves you too. He loves to hear from you–He loves to hear about your day, and He loves to hear about the things that you are going through. He loves when we pray to Him and ask Him to bless those around us. He loves when we pray and ask to feel His Spirit, and when we ask for help in blessing those around us.

I hope you have a wonderful week! I hope you are able to see the hand of God in your life this week–even if it is just once this week. I hope you are able to understand and recognize His love for you this week.

Xoxo
Mattie

It's okay to not be okay.

I learned a lot this week about how to know the Lord's will for me, and how to understand His plan for me. I read a talk by Sister Ann C. Pingree that I really liked.

She starts out by saying that becoming an instrument in the hands of God is a privilege and sacred responsibility. We have to take the time to become an instrument in His hands. It isn't something that just happens. We have to work towards it. But we can know what Heavenly Father wants us to do! I really love and know this. There have been times where I have been able to be an instrument in His hands, and I knew that I was being an instrument, and it is such a sweet and special experience. 

She goes on to talk about how the only possession that is truly ours to give to the Lord is our will. Anything else we 'give' has been given or loaned to us by Him. But our will is the only thing that we can truly give to Him. I think this is so interesting and sweet. Of all the things on this earth that we give to Him...the only thing we can truly give to Him...is ourselves. Our will to do His will. That's what we can give to Him. And because of our agency...it truly is ours to give.

No one can make our relationship with God grow except us. I am the only one who can make my relationship with Him grow. Sure, other people can influence me, and bless me, and help my testimony grow...but only I can increase the intimate nature of my relationship with God. Only I can decide to have faith in Him. Only I can decide that I want to take time to go to the temple to find an answer, or to receive peace, or to feel His love. Only I can decide to study my scriptures, my patriarchal blessing, any notes I have from spiritual experiences...only I can decide to try to interpret them, and to use them to better myself, and to bless the lives of those around me. 

As I focus on my relationship with Him, everything else will fall into place. Sometimes it's hard to not worry about other parts of my life–I have a lot of things going on in my life right now–but in the past couple of weeks, when I have focused on my relationship with Him, everything else has fallen into place, and everything else has run smoothly.

In the midst of learning about the Lord's will for me, I also had a few exhausting moments...a few trials that took a little bit out of me. But I was really listening to the testimonies that were given today...and to the lesson in Sunday School...and I didn't exactly get an explicit answer...but I got a direction. I got reassurance. I got a reminder.

I am a daughter of a King. A daughter of the Most Divine Being. My Heavenly Father loves me so much. My Heavenly Parents have a plan for me, and I am loved so deeply by Them. I didn't do anything to deserve it, and I can't ever do anything to not deserve it. I am loved just because I am His.

I am here to do a work. I am not always entirely sure what that work is...but it's okay to not know, and it's okay to have doubts and worries. This life isn't meant to be perfect, but it's meant to help me come closer to Him, and to become more like Him.

This week...there have been times that I was not okay. There were times that I felt forgotten. But as I was sitting in Sunday School, I wrote, "I know that I am not forgotten. I know that I am important, and loved, and I know that I don't need to be around people in order to feel happy or loved. So why do I feel like this sometimes??" I don't know. I don't know why sometimes I feel unloved, forgotten, and sad. I don't know. I don't know how else to tackle this problem. I'm doing what I can, you know? I am taking medication, I am talking with a therapist, I am praying, I am trying to eat better, sleep better...I am doing what I can...but sometimes it's more than I can handle. And that's okay. You know, that's okay. Because it's okay not to be okay.

What I do know is this: I am broken, but I am also beautiful. God is helping me grow. He is taking my broken pieces and putting them back together. He is helping me become someone better than I am. He is taking me and rebuilding me. Sometimes...sometimes He has to break me in order to rebuild me. Sometimes I have to go through really difficult things in order to get back to where I need to be. Sometimes I need a reminder of who I am. Sometimes I need a reminder of whose I am.

I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father,

who loves me, and I love Him.

I will "stand as [a witness] of God 

at all times, and in all things, and in all places"

as I strive to live the 

Young Women values, which are:

• Faith • Divine Nature 

• Individual Worth • Knowledge 

• Choice and Accountability

• Good Works • Integrity 

• Virtue

I believe as I come to accept and act 

upon these values, I will be prepared to 

strengthen home and family,

make and keep sacred covenants, 

receive the ordinances of the temple,

and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

Sometimes I'm not okay. And that's okay. In those moments...I turn to my Father in Heaven. Because He is always there for me. Even if I might not be able to feel Him in that moment...I know that He is comforting me. I know that He is blessing me. I know He is proud of me for going through the temple, and for continuing to go back to bless the lives of my ancestors. I know He is proud of me for going to college, and for having and making plans to do something that I love. I know that He is proud of me for using my talents to bless the lives of those around me...even if I don't always see it or feel like I am doing anything extraordinary.

2 Nephi 4: 4: "For the Lord God hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; and inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence."

This is my scripture this week. I love this one! It's so simple! As long as I keep the commandments...I will prosper. As long as I love God, and love my neighbor like myself...life will be good.

I love you! Heavenly Father loves you, too! I hope you have a wonderful week! Remember that you are a child of God and He has such amazing plans for you!

Xoxo
Mattie