Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to my friends and family! Happy holidays! I hope you've had a great day with your family so far and I hope that it continues to be a special day.

Today we only had sacrament meeting, and we had our Christmas program. The choir sang and so did the Primary children, in addition to narrators who narrated the program. It was a great meeting, and very spiritual.

My thoughts during the sacrament today were:

How grateful I am to be able to go to church on a Christmas Sunday! I'm grateful for my Savior, and for His willingness to come to earth, to teach and minister before He suffered, atoned, and died for us. I'm grateful for His example of how to live on earth, and how to go about life. I'm grateful for Mary, His mother, and for her kind and loving nature, and for her willingness to be the mother of the Savior of the world. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and for His sacrifice–He sent His son to die for us so that we can someday return to live with Him again. He loved and trusted us enough to be able to return with the help of His Son. My heart is filled with love and gratitude for my Father in Heaven and for my Savior. Every day I make mistakes, and every day I can be forgiven. I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to become clean again every week as I take the sacrament. 

I'm so grateful for the Christmas season, and for my Savior. I'm grateful that He was born to save us from our sins. I am blessed with my family, and to have the friends that I do. So grateful for their love, examples, and support. I wish you all the very best in this upcoming year!

Xoxo
Mattie

Do you have room for Him in your life?

So today during the sacrament I was just thinking about my Savior and how grateful I am for Him.

I am ever so grateful for the sacrifice of my Savior. Too often I have made the same mistakes, but He is there to pick me up every time. I've found that change is hard by yourself, so I am grateful that I can count on Jesus Christ to be there for me. He helps me, supports me, and loves me, even when I feel like I don't deserve an of it. He brings peace to my life when I'm stressed, and He saves me when I'm drowning. There isn't any one that I trust like I trust Jesus. I'm grateful that I can depend on and turn to Him in times of stress in my life. 

Not that I didn't love any of the lessons I learned in church today–I did–but I had a few Facebook memories pop up today and I wanted to share and talk about them instead of the lessons in church today.

The memories are two articles about Joseph, and what we know about him and his role in Jesus' life. I highly recommend reading them–the second one is actually a video though. The first article can be found here and the video one found here. We don't know very much about Joseph, but from what we read of him in the few times he's mentioned in the New Testament, we know that he was obedient to God's commandments. We know that he was a just man, and compassionate, and very loyal.

I wanted to talk about Joseph because he helped raise Jesus–he taught Him how to be a carpenter, and how to work hard. I think that much of Jesus' work ethic comes from Joseph. I think that His tenderness and love comes from Mary, but His work ethic comes from watching and learning from Joseph. His obedience and compassion comes from both. I don't think that Jesus could have had a better set of parents to teach and help Him grow. His relationship with His mother was very sweet and beautiful, and it's possible that His relationship with Joseph was one of admiration. I believe that Joseph was very good to Mary, and Jesus saw that, and knew that Joseph was very loyal, and kind, and was a wonderful example.

In addition to these two articles about Joseph, I also wanted to share this music video. Very sweet and very humbling to think about. There was no room for Him in the inn. Our lives are crazy and busy all the time. Do you have room for Him in your life?

I'm so grateful for my Savior, and for His mother, Mary, and for Joseph, and for all that He learned from them. What wonderful examples they were to Him, and are to me.

I know that this week is going to be crazy for us all as we finish preparing for Christmas next Sunday, but I want us all to take a moment or two each day to remember the reason for the season, and the reason for every day. Remember why we have a Savior, and how we can change for the better this upcoming year. I hope everyone has a very safe and beautiful holiday season!

Xoxo
Mattie

Peace and joy are nearness to God.

Finals week is definitely a week of stress. However, I am (fortunately or unfortunately) under-stressed this week hahaha–I know I should be stressed–because I have many things to do on top of my tests which I am definitely worried about a little bit–and I will probably become more stressed when I am taking the tests or as they get closer, but currently at this time, I am not even stressed. Which is fine.

Putting aside finals week, however, I am so happy and excited! I'm going home at the end of the week, and I've got some things I'm working on and it's going to be great! No overthinking on my part. When I was planning it there was some overthinking but I'm past that stage now. :)

I'm grateful for church today! I felt a lot of peace today, which is great. :)

The sacrament hymn today inspired the thoughts I had during the sacrament today–not that it normally doesn't, but today I was just able to pick a certain thought from it:

In the sacrament hymn "Jesus, Once of Humble Birth", the line "Once forsaken, left alone" really stood out to me today. Heavenly Father had to leave His Son alone because He could not bear to watch Him suffer. Because of that, Jesus Christ knows exactly how it feels to be utterly and completely alone. And He will never leave you alone, or comfortless. He was born to save us, and He lived and died to save us all, so of course He will be there for us. That is why He is our Savior–so that He can be there for us when no one else will be. I know that He is always there when you feel like no one else is. He is there. 

 One of the things that was said in sacrament meeting today was something that I loved and had never thought of before: "Peace and joy are nearness to God." As we come to Him, and approach Him, we will be able to feel peace and joy. I loved that. Another thing that was mentioned was that God receives His glories when we grow spiritually. I liked that–as we do good deeds, we are glorifying God.

In Gospel Principles we talked about love. A few things that we said what we thought love was were:
-Sacrifice/Selflessness/Putting someone else's needs before yours
-Love can be pain
-Love is time
We also noted that people feel love in different ways.
Andrew asked if we could love someone we don't know. A couple things we talked about were:
-Through God, you can love everyone. Because God loves everyone, if you love God, you can love everyone through your love of God.
-We also talked about how even though it might be tough at first, as you show love for someone you don't know–as you proceed as if you love them–you can learn to love them. It's like with faith–sometimes you don't have enough faith to do something, but if you proceed as if you have the faith, you will grow in that faith. If you proceed as if you have the love for that person, you will grow in that love and will come to love them.

In Relief Society, we talked about following the example of Jesus Christ.

First we talked about what some things that go into creating a Christlike life:
-Love
-Sense of purpose
-Awareness (for others)
-Obedience
There are many more things, but these are some of the core things that Jesus Christ exemplified in His ministry on earth.

We then talked about how to develop Christlike attributes. First and foremost, you have to work on one thing at a time. It will be easier for you and less stressful. Second, read the scriptures. Sometimes we know that we need to work on things, but we don't know what to work on. By reading the scriptures, you can find some more examples of Christlike attributes and also things that you need to be working on. Remember to see yourself as He sees you, and as you know He sees others. You are His, too, and He loves you and knows your worth.

Then we discussed Jesus Christ's example. He set the perfect example. "What a marvelous example for us to follow! Even in the midst of great personal sorrow and pain, our Exemplar reached out to bless others. … His was not a life focused on the things he did not have. It was a life of reaching out in service to others." (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Howard W. Hunter, pg 308). I'm not perfect–oftentimes there are things that I want but don't have–but one thing that I do know and love and try to do always is serve others. I love serving others in whatever way I can. In serving and making their lives easier, my problems seem to go away. Even if it's a little out-of-my-way, I will drop everything if someone needs me.

The last question that was asked that was more of a thinking question was, "What will you give up to make room for the Savior?" I loved that question because there are many things that I can give up to make room for my Savior. I'm working on that but I thought that it was a nice question to share so you guys could think about that. 

I'm grateful for my Savior, and for His presence in my life. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to grow to become more like Him. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to serve and make my family and friends' lives easier (also the occasional stranger). I'm grateful for the strengths I have, and I'm grateful for the weaknesses I have which enable me to develop more strengths. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father and for His love and guidance. I'm grateful for the Christmas season, and the chance that I have to think about and focus on the life of my Savior, and how I can be better about becoming more like Him. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to find and have peace and joy. I know that as you go out of your way to serve others that you will be blessed. I know that as you come to love those around you, you will be able to love more fully and service will become easier for you. I know that as you turn to your Heavenly Father, not only will you find peace and joy, He will help you turn weaknesses into strengths, and He will help you know what you need to do to change into who He needs you to be. He loves you and knows the sacrifices you make. You will blessed for putting the needs of others above your own.

For those of you in school (learning or teaching), I wish you a (hopefully) relaxing last week of school before Christmas break! For those not, lucky you! I love you all and hope you have a wonderful holiday season. 💕

Xoxo
Mattie

Above any other title or identity, you are a child of God.

I am so grateful for my ward!! I learned a lot of things today that I needed a reminder of. A reminder of who I am and who I can be.

My thoughts during the sacrament:

Christmastime is here, and oh how grateful I am! I am so blessed. I have an amazing family that I love with all my heart, I have awesome roommates and an awesome ward, and I have wonderful friends whom I love and adore. Above all, I have my Savior, who was born for me, who lived for me, who died for me so that I can live and have the strength to get through each and every day. I love Him and am so grateful for His love and guidance in my life. At the end of the day, He has helped me more times than I can count. I am so thankful for His example of how to live my life. I'm not perfect, but I try to be like Him, and I try to be His hands for those around me who need them.

I do it all year-round, but especially at Christmastime. Service is my favorite thing–after my friends and family, of course. :)

Today was fast Sunday, and many things were said in testimonies today that I loved:
-He lived, and still lives. He lived and died for us.
-The Savior needs you. He saw/sees our potential.
-When you struggle, do you speak to yourself like you speak to your family and friends?
-We have to turn to our Savior to turn on the Light.
-If God says it is to be so, it is. If Christ thought that we were worth it to die for, we are.
-Above any other title or identity, we are sons and daughters of God.

Gospel Principles was so fulfilling. We talked about light, and the Sabbath Day, and one thing that was said really stood out to me: The way we heal others is by leading them to Christ. I loved that. Christ is really the only one who can heal, so the way we heal others is by leading them to Christ.

Relief Society was about following Christ, and how He can help us, and how He does help us.
-Jesus Christ understands us and He is there for us.
-No matter what, you still have worth.
-"If we love the Savior more, will we hurt less?" (Elder Hales, Oct. 2016)
-You are not an exception. You are definitely included in the Savior's sacrifice–He suffered for you, and He will help you change and return to Heavenly Father.
-John 14:18–"I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you."
-You're already enough. He cares about who and what you are and can become.
-Christ is the way.
-Christ will complete you, and He is completing you.
-Refining does not take away from your worth.
-Christ constantly has to watch us–heating/refining too much can ruin the silver/us.
-We need to make Him our priority. We were His priority.
-He wants us to love Him and to return to Him.

I am so grateful for what I learned today. I definitely learned a lot of things that I can do better in my life. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have daily in my life to change and be more like Christ. I'm far from perfect and am glad that I have help from my Savior to change and become better.

I love the month of December. Christmas is probably my favorite holiday of all time. Not because I get gifts, but because I get to give gifts and service to my favorite people of all time: my family and friends. Also random people, but mostly family and friends. I love spending time with my family and friends, and I love the opportunity that I have to share the love of my Savior with my family and friends. I hope that this holiday season will be a great one for you and your family. I love you and wish you the very best in these upcoming weeks. I know that our Heavenly Father loves you and is watching out for you. You are His child, and He loves you so much. Turn to Him in all your times of need. He will be there for you, I promise. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Grateful for gratitude.

Today was the perfect ending to Thanksgiving break! My newest cousin was blessed this morning and then I got to go to church with my family. So that was great. :)

My thoughts during the sacrament today were really just thankful thoughts but that's okay. :)

Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I am so grateful for Him. Thankful that He loves me, hears me, knows me, prays for me, and atoned for me. I'm grateful that I can repent, and start over each week. I'm grateful that I can be changed, and experience change, through my Savior and my Heavenly Father. 

Something someone said in sacrament meeting stood out to me. She said, "Gratitude isn't a nicety, it's a necessity." Gratitude also does more for us than it does for our Heavenly Father. Gratitude is really for us–I know that I am always humbled when I think of my blessings and the things that I have been given. Gratitude is an expression of our love for our Heavenly Father and our Savior. In the song "Count Your Many Blessings", there are many repeated lines, and for good reason. Repetition becomes a habit. So if you're repeatedly grateful, every day, it will eventually become a habit. Gratitude is essential to our wellbeing. I'm grateful for gratitude–it helps keep me grounded and humble.

One thing that I am grateful for, especially this weekend, is that I was able to come home, and that I didn't have so much homework. Because I needed to work on my prescreening stuff for my application into the school of music. And I was very stressed about it. But I decided to just let go and just do it. I need to put my songs on a CD, and I need to finish some write-ups I have to do, and I am going to try to meet with my career counselor for finishing touches on my resumé for it, and then I will send it in (I may mail it or just drop by the HFAC, I'm still undecided). Anyway, I had a ton of things to do this weekend and I was able to mostly get it done. :) I'm also thankful that this semester is almost over. I'm not entirely prepared for next semester lol but I'm ready for this semester to be over. I'm hoping to be able to get through this semester with nothing below a B grade. If I work really hard, I can do it. This weekend was a great break. Now it's time to get back to work. I'm in the final minutes of the fourth quarter–I'm so close!!

As this holiday season is starting, I just want to remind everyone to be kind (especially to yourself–you are an amazing person. I love you and your Heavenly Father loves you. Don't forget that. <3). Be grateful. Do service. Go out of your way to make someone's day easier or just a little brighter. You'll be rewarded in their gratitude and smile, and you will feel great, knowing that you helped someone. I know I always do. Don't forget to be safe when traveling! Especially when the snow starts to stick and it becomes icy on the roads. Be careful.

Xoxo
Mattie

Putting aside your needs and wants for the needs and wants of others.

I love my ward! I am so thankful for the beautiful souls that I get to see all the time. They've blessed my life and I learn so much from them. <3 <3

Today during the sacrament, I was thinking about patience, and this thought came to my mind:

Sometimes being patient and letting God take the reins is hard. When you want something to go one way, and it doesn't happen that way, or it happens down the road, can be frustrating. But honestly, God knows what's best. He knows what you need and when you need it. Trust Him. He loves you and wants what's best for you. Take your time and just know that it will all work out.

Here's some of my favorite things that were said in sacrament meeting:
Even when we're going through hard things, Christ is there. He is cheering us on. You can do hard things.
"Secure your own mask before you attempt to help others." You can't help someone if you can't breathe on your own. That won't help them or you. Be secure in your own testimony before you start to help someone else.
Forgiveness helps us.

In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about 3 Nephi 17-19:
We talked about how the Nephites might not have understood all that Christ said but they understood enough to know that what He was saying was important enough and they wanted Him to stay with them.
Even though He was probably exhausted, He stayed to heal their sick and afflicted, and He made time for the little children.
Christ put aside His own needs and wants for the needs and wants of the Nephite people. "If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat them as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming." ~~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Christ is the epitome of charity, which is why charity is called the "Pure Love of Christ".

Relief Society was great! We talked about charity. So it was kind of a continuation of Gospel Doctrine. :)

I loved this quote from Elder Marvin J. Ashton that was shared: "Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself...Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other." 

I loved this. Charity is so much more than we often remember it is.  

The Savior taught us to love everyone, including those who may be difficult to love. "Excuses [not to do so] are easy to find; they spring up as readily and plentifully as weeds by the wayside." ~Elder James E. Talmage

I love talking about charity because I've had so many examples of charity and Christlike love in my life and it's something that I try to always do/be. Charity isn't something that I usually have trouble doing but sometimes I have trouble remembering all the things that encompass charity and so it's always a nice lesson to have because it helps me remember all the times I've had/done charity but also all the ways that I could be better at it. Charity is something that often is something we have to choose to do at first, but if you do it long enough it just becomes a part of you.

This week is Thanksgiving and I'm excited to be going home! I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to spend time with my family and I'm grateful for the holiday season that is upon us. It's a time to remember to be thankful, and a time to spread love, and a time to be and do so much to help those in need. At this moment in my life, it (life) is changing, slowly and surely, and oftentimes it's so crazy and I have a lot going on, but I always try to make time for my friends when they need me. And then things [in my life] go better than I thought they would. I know that putting aside my to-do list when a friend or family member needs me is not only what I need to do but what I want to do. I want to be there. I want them to know that I love them and they are more important to me than my to-do list. Because they are.  I would choose them over my to-do list. And I would do anything to show them that I love them, and that God loves them, and that they are loved and needed here on earth.

I hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving! Travel safely and enjoy your time with your family! :)

Xoxo
Mattie

"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you."

Today was ward conference! It went by sooo fast!! It was a really great day!

My thoughts during the sacrament today were more of a reminder to me but I know that I'm not the only one who needs to hear them:

Hoping and wishing (and praying) for things in our life that we want or need is something that everyone does. But we forget to leave it to the Lord, or to do our part, and we get frustrated when things don't go the way that we wanted them to do. Sometimes it doesn't happen at all, and sometimes it doesn't happen for awhile. Either way, the Lord knows what He's doing. Sometimes you just have to let go and trust Him. He'll take care of it. 

We got to hear from Bishop Anderson in sacrament meeting today and I loved everything about his talk:
-All things change when we anchor on a future reward.
3 things that will help (us anchor on that future reward):
1) Diligence
-Anything that is good and righteous takes effort
-Don't stay down. Get back up.
2) Having the Spirit with you
-It's not how the sacrament is passed, but why it is passed.
3) Nourish your soul
-Don't worry about opposition/resistance. It will come.
-Scripture study, prayer, attending church, etc. is how you get spiritual nourishment.

President Acerson also spoke:
The theme of conference today was Doctrine and Covenants 88:63-64
-There are blessings that will come–maybe not in this life, but they will come and all will be made right.
-We understand doctrine through the Spirit.
"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you"

The last two hours were absolutely fabulous! The stake Relief Society president, Sister Radmall, spoke and she's great! I love her!
First she mentioned three things she told her kids when they were looking for a spouse and I thought they were great:
1) They need to have a testimony and be committed.
2) Find someone who can make you laugh.
3) Someone you're somewhat attracted to.
Then we watched this video and talked about the three things that cause us to resist receiving blessings. They were Fear, Doubt, and Sin. The way to overcome these can be found in Doctrine and Covenants 88:63-43. :)
*Seek~through the scriptures
–Ask~in prayer
**Knock~through obedience
*Scriptures are little packets of light.
*They have potent power to heal and help.
–The moment you say "Father in Heaven", He hears you.
–Heavenly Father can helps us in things both large and small.
–Prayer can result in miracles.
**Obedience leads to tender mercies.

President Radmall also spoke:
-In life, we often want an alternate ending that we decide.
He decided to focus on one specific line of the conference theme scripture:
"That is expedient for you"
In order to come accept the Lord's answers to our prayers, especially when it is a non-answer or an answer we don't like, we should do a couple things:
-Express gratitude for all things.
-Ask the Lord "what lack I yet? Is there something I've forgotten that needs correcting?"

President Moon:
He focused on the line:
"Seek me diligently and ye shall find me"
-Start with why.
-It (the Gospel) is true, because He lives.
-There is a plan specifically for you.

One last thing President Acerson said was, "Heed promptings and allow the Lord to lead and guide you."

It's been a good day. I soaked up and learned so much today. The three hours flew by so fast, I didn't even think it was three hours. Around 12:30 I was like, "It's 12:30?? There's half an hour left? No way!" I was really surprised. It was a good meeting and I was sad that it was over. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to hear from our stake leaders and hear messages that the Lord wanted me to hear. I heard some things that might be answers to my prayers but I'm not quite sure so I have to do some more looking. But that's okay, it'll be fine. Turn to Him, and walk to Him, and He will walk to you in return. :)

I'm grateful that I go to school at BYU; it's been such a blessing in my life. I love my ward, and my roommates, and my professors. I am so blessed to be where I am, physically and also in my life. I love my Savior and am so grateful that I can turn to Him, especially this semester as it's been tough in many ways. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Parents and for Their love and support. I am grateful for the heavenly help that I have been given in my life. Some things have been beyond my power but I've had help beyond the veil and I'm so thankful for that. I hope that everyone has a great week this week, and I hope that you know that you're loved and wanted and you're absolutely vital to this earth; you have so much to give to the world.

Xoxo
Mattie

Look for the blessings in your life.

I drove home this weekend to help my mom out while my dad was out of town.

I am grateful for the opportunity I had to go to church today. I heard many things that were helpful to me in my life right now.

My thoughts during the sacrament this week were short but (hopefully) sweet:

Nothing is more important to me than having the ability to turn to my Savior. I'm so thankful that He was willing to sacrifice Himself for me. I will never be able to repay Him.

This Sunday was fast Sunday, and as I was listening to some of the testimonies I had this thought:
"I am a daughter of a king. A child of God. A daughter with a divine destiny and of a divine inheritance. I am who I am for a reason. I'll find my way, and I'll find my true calling, as I look to the Lord and my Savior."
Sister Greer bore her testimony and something she said stood out to me very much: "Look for the blessings in your life." Turn to your Heavenly Father. He will give you strength.
I really needed that reminder–don't focus on all of the things that didn't go so well or aren't happening right now. Look for the blessings.

In Relief Society, Sister Worthington talked about the article entitled "The Perfect Lie" that popped around last week, found here. She talked about three things that we can do to help us become more like Christ, and they were:
1) Sacrament. The sacrament is the only ordinance that we do for ourselves over and over again.
2) Scriptures. Make your scripture study more meaningful. 
3) Prayer. Every relationship hinges on communication. Especially our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Stop and listen for an answer after your prayer. 

I didn't necessarily hear anything new this week but I did hear things that I needed a reminder of. Turn to the Lord when you need to. Listen to Him, and listen for an answer from Him. Focus on your relationship with Him because that's the only way it will grow and develop. Trust in Him. Believe that He knows what is best. I know that He knows what He is doing. I know that He will not let you fall. He will catch you, and He will carry you when needed. He loves you so much and He understands you. I promise He won't let you down.

Xoxo
Mattie

Faith can overcome fear.

Today was GREAT! I had an awesome thought during Gospel Doctrine that I'll share in a moment.

First, some thoughts I had during the sacrament.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about people and feelings (not sure why; it just happened). Sometimes we might offend someone by what we say or do, and sometimes we are offended by others. But there is no way that those who offended will know unless you tell them. Sort of going off of that, I read an article the other week that said something to the effect of, "you don't always have to forgive someone to bring you peace. If being angry at them makes you feel good, that's okay." And I remember thinking, "Well, that seems counterproductive." For me, I personally hate being angry/annoyed with someone for a long period of time. Sure, sometimes it feels good to be mad at them, and to not forgive them. But after awhile, there comes a point when the anger or annoyance starts to affect other parts of my life–and not in a good way. Yes, sometimes there are cases where extreme anger or frustration towards someone is warranted, but if you are always angry at them, they've won–maybe again. You are still thinking about them. Their actions still cause you anger and hurt. In forgiving them, though, you win. You've become the bigger person, and you can be at peace. Now, in no way at all am I saying that by forgiving them you approve of their actions. Not at all! But by forgiving them, you can let go of the hurt and pain that they caused you and you can finally begin to heal. Holding on to things for a long time isn't always the best cause of action. Sometimes you have to let go. If you feel like there is no possible way that you could forgive them (because it was too awful), that's okay, too. But don't hold on to it any longer than you have to. Just let it go.

 A couple of things stood out to me in sacrament meeting today:
-Obedience isn't black and white. It's greyscale.
-Sometimes obedience is selfish–we obey not because Heavenly Father wants us to, but because we gain something, like social acceptance or something.
-Sometimes Jesus lets us struggle through challenges in order to help us strengthen our faith in Him.
-Faith can overcome fear.
-Asking for help is the ultimate sign of faith and humility.

In Gospel Doctrine, I had an awesome thought. We were talking about the fulfillment of Samuel the Lamanite's prophecies about Jesus Christ. And we were reading in 3 Nephi 10, where Jesus Christ says, "How oft have I gathered thee as a hen gathereth her chicks?" And someone said that when a hen puts up her wings, the chicks can run underneath her wings, and sometimes she dies protecting her chicks. Immediately I had a thought about the analogy: Jesus is the hen. And when He was up on the cross, His arms were raised up, and He died for us. He invites us to come unto Him always, and His hands are always stretched out towards us. So of course I shared that thought in class (except the italics; that part I only thought of as I was recalling the story to transcribe it to you, dear Reader) and then wanted to share it here because I loved the imagery in that analogy and I'd never thought of that before.

Today was fifth Sunday, so we were combined (in two rooms, I think). Bishop talked about some things before the actual lesson. He said that sometimes challenges in life can help us in our lives. I loved that. Sometimes challenges in our lives help us become who we were meant to be.

The lesson today was on keeping the Sabbath Day holy. He shared four questions that we can ask ourselves (there are many others) to try and decide if we're keeping the Sabbath Day holy.
1. Is my action hold or of service to God?
2. Is it doing good?
3. Does it keep me unspotted from the world?
4. Is it honoring the Lord, or am I selfishly following my own desires?

After that, Sister Anderson spoke to us for a little bit. She talked about the new Thanksgiving Garden statues exhibit, about two of them specifically. The one that depicted the story of the woman who was found in adultery, and the one that depicted Jesus Christ carrying His cross up to Calvary. For the first one, she said that Christ was brought here to love us and save us. Not to condemn us. For the second one, she said that He is here to help us through and to love us. She said that we are going to have to fight and sacrifice to keep our testimonies. I know that is so true. You have to hold on to your faith and testimony. Hold on to what you know to be true. Just hold on.

I'm so grateful for a Savior who knows me, and loves me, and sacrificed His life so that I could return to live with my Heavenly Parents. I am so thankful for the sweet spirit that is in my ward; I love the people in my ward so much and I am always learning things from them. I'm so thankful for the Spirit, and for His love and direction to guide the right answers and actions into my life and for His guidance to me to be able to share with those around me. This has been a crazy couple of weeks and sometimes I was super worried and scared that things wouldn't work out, but they did. I'm lucky to have had my Savior with me to help me get through it. I'm grateful for the opportunities I've had to be Christ's hands this past week and I look forward to the opportunities I will have this upcoming week. Stay safe and remember you're so loved! <3

Xoxo
Mattie

He answers you in unexpected ways.

Loved today's lessons. Not quite what I was looking for but they were still great. :)

My thoughts during the sacrament today were short but sweet:

I've had much better luck reading my scriptures and praying this week. Still not 100% perfect but I'm working on it. :) I am so grateful for my Savior and for His love and grace. This past week was weird and started off okay (I think...I don't remember) but didn't end quite as well. I hope that I will find answers today as to why things happened/didn't happened. 

I was looking for answers but didn't exactly get the answers I was expecting. I did get answers today but just not what I thought I would get or that I wanted.

The topic in sacrament meeting today was conversion, which is a great topic and I learned some new things.
-We need our Savior to change. We can only do so much by ourselves; we can't fully change in the way that our Heavenly Father knows we can without our Savior. 
-You have to be born again/converted in order to inherit the kingdom of God.
Three things in order to have personal conversion:
-Listen (to the prophets, Holy Ghost, personal revelation, etc.)
-Commit (commitment is often a mental process)
-Do (what's a commitment if we don't act?)
-As we're converted we'll find ourselves doubting less.
-What is your attitude through trials? Do you try to rely on the Lord, or do you complain that you have to go through it?
-Yield your heart to Him daily. Conversion is a daily lifetime commitment.

We talked about baptism in Gospel Principles today. Someone said something interesting that I'd never thought about before. We were talking about one of the reasons for baptism is for a remission of sins. Someone said that when she thinks about remission, she thinks about cancer remission, and how that means it (the cancer) may come back. And you need to take care of yourself. And the same is for the remission of sins–they may come back so take care of yourself. Keep trying. You can get better over time. Another interesting thing that I suppose I should have figured out by myself was that strait (as in the strait and narrow) doesn't mean "straight". It means like rigorous, an uphill battle. It will not be easy. But it will be worth it.

In Relief Society we talked about the doctrine of Christ. Which is:
-Faith in Christ and His Atonement
-Repentance
-Baptism and the sacrament
-Gift of the Holy Ghost
-Enduring to the end
A couple of things that stood out to me today were:
-repentance is a daily process. And we can't expect more for ourselves than He does.
-if we recognize following the doctrine of Christ is the only way, we will be more inclined to do so.

I definitely wasn't looking for answers in any of the topics covered today, but I found some anyway. Funny how that works. I received an answer more in the way I was looking for yesterday but I wanted more of a confirmation in that way today but I got a different answer instead. I'm blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who knows what I need to hear, even when I was looking for something else. I'm looking forward to my scripture study and prayers this week, as well as trying to find peace. I'm grateful for my friends and family and for their love and support. Life just isn't as sweet without them, and I'm grateful to love and be loved by so many.

Xoxo
Mattie

Have faith and step into the darkness.

Loved everything about the lessons today.

So my thoughts during the sacrament today were a little scatterbrained but that's because it was a crazy week last week and I'm still on a high from meeting Peter Hollens (!!!) last night. So I apologize for that but I did say some good things:

Personally, this past week was insane for a number of reasons *cough* midterms *cough* but I was able to get through it! Eventually. The week started on a low note and as the week went on I swore it was just getting lower and lower, but it did end on a super high note: we won our football game Friday night and then I was able to go to the BYU Spectacular Saturday night with my friend! I had such a blast and got to meet Peter Hollens (definitely a highlight). I am so grateful for the hand of my Savior this week. Many times I just wanted to quit and give up because I thought I couldn't do it or I didn't want to do it. But I persevered and was able to do everything  I needed to this week (admittedly some things had less than pleasant outcomes but that is okay) and then I was blessed with a great weekend. There are some things that I have been working on for a while that I am getting better at, and slowly and surely it's working. I need to focus harder, however, because even though I'm working on them, I could still be working harder. That's my goal this week, and I am so glad I have my Savior to help me. <3

Sacrament meeting was really great today. And it didn't fly by like it normally does. It went slowly and took some time, which was great because I needed to focus today. Today the main message of sacrament meeting was temples and coming unto to Christ. Here is a collection of some of the thoughts that stood out to me:
-God gives us second chances and do-overs because He loves us.
-Do you know His (Christ's) voice? Will you drop everything and come unto Him?
-Learn about Him; come to know Him by reading the scriptures.
-It doesn't matter how far off the path you are, you can always come back, and you will be blessed just for trying.
-One way to come unto Christ is through temple worship.
-Put your trust in Him.
-As we stop fighting against the Lord and try our best, He will make up the difference.
-We come unto Christ by trying and trying again.

In Gospel Doctrine Johanna shared a quote from C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters which I have been meaning to read for awhile now but just haven't gotten around to it yet. Anyway, the quote was, "It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out." We talked about how Satan often tries just to keep us busy enough so that we don't have time for scripture study and prayer–sins of omission instead of commission. We were in Helaman 13-15 today, and the story is the story of Samuel the Lamanite. We talked about how opposition is required in order to be able to tell the difference between right and wrong. We also talked about how God wants to save us! He loves us. God loves broken things because He is the only one who can fix them, and so He wants us to come to Him because He can fix us. That reminded me of a song by Kenneth Cope, found here. It's a good song. It talks about how God loves broken things, including us. God chastens those He loves because He wants us to grow and become better; much like when a parent chastens their child, they are only doing it for their good. One other thing that was mentioned was the fact that Satan is trying to do something with us, but God is trying to make something of us.

In Relief Society we talked about faith and testimony. There were three main things that were mentioned:
1. Through faith we can find God and know that He lives.
-Our greatest quest in this life is a search for God, and our purpose in this life is to grow our faith.
2. We must believe in order to see.
-Faith is the step in the darkness before the light.
-"In order to find God as a reality, we must follow the course which he pointed out for the quest."
-Faith is a process, and it oscillates. Sometimes we have more faith and sometimes we have less.
-We can't wait until the result; that's not how faith works.
3. Acting on faith leads to personal testimony.
-Heavenly Father will take care of me (I loved this! One of the girls said that she just said this one time and it is so true. I don't know all things but I don't have to worry too much because Heavenly Father will make sure I'm taken care of).
-Hold to the rod; don't hold onto the world, but make time for Christ.
-God knows you. Have faith and step into the darkness.

Loved the messages shared today! I also had the opportunity to be set apart today and heard some things that I needed a reminder of. I'm looking forward to trying to be better about certain things in these upcoming weeks. I know that if I turn to my Savior He'll help me. I'm not alone, and I am capable of so much more than I think I am. I am so grateful for my Savior and my Heavenly Father. They do so much for me, and help me so much. I would not be who or where I am today without Them. I have had many times in my life where I haven't known what will happen or where I will be going but I have stepped into the unknown in faith and it has lead me to be who I am today. I would not change who I am for the world.

I hope that we can all come to accept those around us and accept the differences between us. This world is changing in many ways but I hope that the innate human nature to be kind will always be around in people like me and my friends.

Xoxo
Mattie

Do everything in your power to do your part.

Today was our Stake Conference, which was great. I heard many things I needed/wanted to hear.

One thing that was so funny was one of the speakers (one of the Stake Presidency I believe, but I could be wrong) was talking about how he wanted to get a smokin' body and he said he told that to his wife who said, "Sweetheart, the only way you'll get a smokin' body is if you're cremated" and the whole congregation laughed and went "Ohh" as in "Ohh, burn." It was so funny!

Anyway.

Many awesome things were said today that I LOVED!
So, this talk was about marriage:
-Stop trying to find perfection.
-Do everything in your power to do your part.
-We cannot sit in our apartments or wherever and expect the Lord to bring them to us.
-Heavenly Father knows you and loves you. If you do your part He will direct you.

This talk was about building your foundation and faith in Christ:
-Build your foundation upon Christ.
-Go to Heavenly Father with a teachable heart (specifically when you go to Him with questions but also just always).
-Learn of the Savior–through study and prayer.
-You are engraven upon His palms. <3

-You are loved by Heavenly Father and are precious to Him.
-A testimony is not found over a pulpit, it is shared over a pulpit. It should be found in our own sacred places and in our own lives.
-Christ is the answer.
-Trust in the promise of the Lord.
-God is there. He will never leave you alone.

This talk was about finding Christ through gospel service:
-Matthew 16:24-25. Feed His sheep.
-Peace comes when we take up our cross and serve those around us, as He did.
This I thought was interesting: Anxiety is not an attribute of Christ. With anxiety, we are focused on ourself. Focus on those around you. With that, I know that it is hard. But I also know that when I focus on others, and serve and love them, I really do lose myself and I am not so anxious. I also know that with school, it's so hard to not be anxious about homework assignments and things, BUT some things you just have to let go and go about one day at a time. I know it's hard, but with your Savior, you can do it. :)

This talk was about conversion:
-There is joy when you stop doing what you want to do and start doing what Christ wants you to do.
-Turn and align yourself with God.

-2 Nephi 26:22
-We think we know best and we are not willing to follow the counsel of the Lord.
-Beware of pride.
-We need to be watchful in our lives. Don't let flaxen threads become flaxen cords.

-You are not here by chance. There is a reason you are here. 
-You are prepared to be here. You are among noble and great ones.
-The Lord loves you and is aware of you. Study your patriarchal blessing.

THIS TALK WAS SO CUTE, IT WAS MY FAVORITE!! It was Brother and Sister Childs, who are an older couple who were SO CUTE!!! It was adorable, and my friends and I were all like, "Relationship goals":
-Don't criticize your husband.
-Always keep God in your life.
I loved this: There's somebody out there for you. This is something that I always am thinking about; is there someone out there for me? And hearing it from Sister Childs was a blessing. She's such a sweet lady; I hope to be able to meet her someday. 

President Acerson said that "your value to Him does not change" and I loved that! It's a nice reminder that He will love you always.

Today was a great day full of inspiring messages. I'm blessed to be in such a great stake and ward. So excited to grow as a person this year!

I know that God loves you. He wants to help you return to Him. He sends you who you need when you need them. And He knows you SO WELL, I promise. He knows you. He knows exactly what you need. He loves you and wants to help you grow. So study your scriptures. Say your prayers. Turn to Him always. He is there, and He will help you. I know that you are never alone, and I know that you can always turn to your Heavenly Father and to your Savior. I am so grateful for them. This has been a crazy semester so far and it's only going to get worse but I have been able to keep up with all my projects and homework, for the most part. So blessed to have such a great apartment and friend group. I'm so thankful for my Savior and for His hand in my life. Here's to a great week for everyone!

Xoxo
Mattie

Things are going to get better.

This weekend was General Conference weekend!!!!

So happy to have been able to watch conference this weekend with my friends and roommates! It was a great weekend full of great messages! I am so grateful for our prophet, President Monson, and for his counselors, and for the quorum of the twelve apostles. I heard a lot of things this weekend that I needed to hear. There were a lot of repeats of "God loves you" and "He knows you" and I feel like those were specifically directed to me because I've been struggling a little bit with a couple of things and I just needed that reminder that He knows me and loves me and that I am not forgotten by Him. Other reminders that I needed were ones of "have faith" and remember to study and pray. I'm working on that one. :)

Also. Totally random. Just saw this on Facebook (and I shared it but I feel like this should be seen every week at least) and wanted to share. Sometimes we have rough times. Sometimes things don't go how we planned. Sometimes we think we want one thing and we end up wanting something else. Sometimes we feel alone and lost. But it's okay. We all feel like this sometimes. And guess what? That's okay. You're normal, and you're not alone. You're a wonderful person who is smart, strong, confident, loved, wanted, needed, and has so much going for them. Remember that things are going to get better, and that you can do it. You've gotten through all your hard days before. This one is no different. <3

God didn't bring you this far to abandon you.

It's been a good day! :)

Many great messages were shared today. :)

I had some thoughts during the sacrament meeting that I've never exactly thought about before but I'd like to share them:

We have very few, if more than one, sacrament hymns from the point of view of the Savior, but "Reverently and Meekly Now" is one of my favorite sacrament hymns in general. For some reason, it just makes it [the Atonement] more real to me. Jesus Christ is asking us to think of Him, and of His sacrifice for us. He asks us (well, implores us) to be obedient, prayerful, watchful evermore, and be constant unto Him so that He can be our Savior. He can't be our Savior unless we accept His sacrifice and try to be better. We can't be perfect here on earth, but we can try to become more perfect with His help.

Today was Fast Sunday (because next week is General Conference and the week after is our Stake Conference) and several things were said in people's testimonies that I needed today.
-He loves you. He will never abandon you; only you can abandon Him.
-He knows what we need–in everything.
-He asks us to sacrifice a broken heart and a contrite spirit. He sacrificed everything for us. We can trust Him.
-He is there. You can always rely on Him.
-Our trials don't have to be secret. We have people around us to help us. Through the Savior, we can be made strong (I'm here to help you! I've gone through some crazy things in my life and I will listen and love and not judge, I promise <3).
-Regardless of struggles we face, our Savior is there for us. As we strive to do the little things, they add up and we can receive the light we need/want.
-He feels as we do. He will never, ever leave us.
-He knows us, and He knows what we need.
-He can push the darkness away.
-"Pride is not the solution to shame but the source." Humility is the solution; we need to humble ourselves before Christ.

Went to Gospel Principles today, instead of Gospel Doctrine. It was perfect! We talked about faith. How you don't always know what's going to happen in your life but faith in God can and will help you come to know His plan for you. If we exercise faith, He will manifest Himself to us. Trust in Him and in His power. God has a plan for you. Have faith. Remember the little things.

In Relief Society we talked about Elder Gerrit W. Wong's talk in the April 2016 conference, "Always Remember Him". He has six things we can do to always remember Him:
1. By having confidence in His covenants, promises, and assurances.
–> We can do so much if only we trust in Him.
2. By gratefully acknowledging His hand throughout our lives.
–> There are many miracles in our lives everyday. We just have to look for them.
3. By trusting when the Lord assures us (D&C 58:42; Repentance)
–> There isn't a point of no return. We can be healed and fixed.
4. Remember that: He always welcomes us home.
5. Remember Him on the Sabbath. Especially with the Sacrament.
6. Remember Him as He remembers us.
–> He loves us and is aware of us and is always thinking of us.
-If we ever feel like we can't feel God's love for us, we can just ask Him.
-Isaiah 40:28-31 He will make up the difference.
-As we choose to remember Him, He will bless us.

I was also blessed to be able to watch the General Women's Session of Conference last night. So many great messages that I was so grateful for! Many were ones that I needed. Some of my favorite insights were:
-God is real. He knows you. He loves you. He will not forsake you.
-Faith comes to the humble, the diligent, the enduring.
-There are more ways to see than with our eyes.
-Our faith in Jesus Christ enables us to meet any challenge.
-Hope and healing are not found in the dark abyss of secrecy but in the light and love of our Savior Jesus Christ.

It's been a fantastic weekend full of things that I needed: people I wanted/needed to hear from, things I needed to hear, things I needed to say, things I needed to feel. I'm so blessed! This past week was kind of difficult because as the week progressed on, I felt worse (#beingsick #IFinallyGotIt) but after Friday during the day, it was good. I was able to get a lot of naps this week and so that was definitely a huge factor in my feeling better and of course, being spiritually uplifted this weekend was great. Can't wait for General Conference next weekend!

I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Father, who knows what I need, when I need to hear it, and who I need to hear it from. I found this picture of something that was said today and I loved it and thought that it was almost a perfect summary of the messages this weekend:

He didn't bring you this far to abandon you. He is right beside you, and He will help you. I'm so thankful for the messages that I received this weekend. I am going to do my best to listen and apply. I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Father and for my Savior. I know that I wouldn't be where I am today without Them. I know that They love you and will help you with whatever you need help with, from quitting a bad habit to starting a new good one, and anything else in between. They love you and I know that you can rely on Them to be there for you. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

As long as you put the Lord first, everything will be okay.

Today's been a great day! Very uplifting and enlightening.

My thoughts during the sacrament:

This week was a struggle. I struggled so hard in so many things. It was quite a stressful week and the next two might also be as well. I'm trying to not worry about it but you know me–I will always worry a little. Anyway. My goal for awhile has been better/consistent scripture study and prayer and it's been touch and go. Last week the first half was great but the second half was chock full (spelling?) of tons of randomness and it was very stressful and busy and I wasn't quite able to study my scriptures. This week I will try harder. I know I can do it; I just need to focus. I'm so thankful for my Savior—this past week was insane and definitely took a toll on me but everything fell together and I made all my deadlines and things. I know I couldn't have done it without Him. Many times I wanted to quit but somehow I had the strength and capacity to do just a little more. I hope this week goes better or–if not–just as well. 

Some thoughts from sacrament meeting:
-You can receive the inspiration and guidance you need. Go to conference with questions. They'll be answered.
-Sort out your life to be able to hear the voice of the Master.
-Be willing to be inconvenienced in the service of others. As you do so your life will be blessed in marvelous ways.

In Gospel Doctrine:
-We have to do the little things that will protect and fortify our testimony.
-As long as you put the Lord first, everything will be okay.
—>Seems like this has been a topic that was focused on/touched on in multiple ways today. (Guess what's gonna be this week's quote? 😉)

In Relief Society, we talked about honesty and committing to God:
-It takes humility on our part to be honest with the Lord.
-This was interesting, I thought: People lie to solve problems on their own.
-Being committed to God is having faith in Him, even when things do not go the way you want them to. Reminds me of 'but if not': But if not... I'll trust that things will work out. (which I thought I'd already posted about to a point but I can't find it right now. I'll look and see and share it later if I find it. EDIT: I sort of did, but not really. It was basically what I said up there–the talk that it is from, though, can be found here).

After Gospel Doctrine I asked my home teacher if I could get a blessing after church. I haven't been feeling well this week and I've been struggling with a bunch of things and just wanted a blessing. After church, they came and one of my roommates' home teachers were also there. Long story short: a blessing of healing and comfort was given to me and all the things I've been stressing about were addressed. So thankful for worthy priesthood holders!! Also, I definitely started a trend: four of six roommates were given blessings today. Love my roommates!!

I'm blessed to have such an awesome bishopric. Went in for a meeting for a calling after church and was blessed to hear some things that I needed to hear. So grateful for the people in my ward. ❤️❤️

It's been a great day that has been very uplifting and I'm so thankful for that. So thankful for my Heavenly Father and for His love and guidance. It's been a good day. I'm so blessed. I love my ward, I love my roommates, and I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father. Happy Sunday!

Xoxo
Mattie

Something special.

I was thinking to myself this morning about some things, and I couldn't let it go. So I thought I'd write a little poem about it, and I did, and I think it says what I want it to.

Sometimes it's hard being me. 

I overthink all the things about my appearance.
I'm pretty sure 99% of the things that I worry about are only noticed by me.

Sometimes I think my friends are exaggerating when they tell me I'm beautiful.
But I know that can't be true because it's impossible for 100% of my friends to all be exaggerating my beauty. Someone's bound to tell the truth. 

So the only other plausible option is that I'm beautiful. 

Not just on the outside–on the inside too. 

Again, I overthink all the things and criticize all the parts of my personality.

But I'm reminded by my friends that they love me. 

And that I am beautiful. And capable. And strong.

And I remember that I'm a daughter of God. And He loves me. And He wants me to be who I am because that's who He made. He made me. And He loves me exactly the way I am. He made me something special because He knows I can be something special.

So who am I to question God? If He thinks I'm something special, I must indeed be something special.

~~"Something Special", a poem by Me

Never forget.

Today is 9/11, and I've been thinking about it all day.

So I had some thoughts about it during the sacrament this morning, as well as some other thoughts and I wanted to share:

Today is 9/11. I don't really remember it but I remember all the times in school when we would remember it and talk about it. It was a sad day in our nation's history–we lost so many good and precious people–but we grew closer as a nation and came to be one. I hope it doesn't take another event like that to bring us all closer once again. We will never forget the events of 9/11, but I hope that we never forget how it brought us closer as a nation. 

Our Savior died for us. He died so that we could be saved. He died to help us return to our Heavenly Father. He died so that we can repent. He died so that we can forgive and feel peace. He died for us in so many ways. But the biggest reason of all, I feel, is that He died because He loves us. 

The topic in sacrament meeting was missionary work, and there were so many great things said. One thing that stood out to me today was that Christ is the one who makes us whole. I've known and felt that my whole life but I don't think I've ever worded it like that, so I'm grateful for the speaker who said it. Christ is the one who makes us whole. He brings the broken pieces of us together and heals us. And we represent Him! We are His hands. He has entrusted us with His name, so we must never forget who we are or who we represent.

In Gospel Doctrine we talked about the stripling warriors. Someone said that it's better to look for different solutions than to break your covenants. Something else that was said that I liked was that strength comes from being perfect in trying. We don't have to be perfect–in fact, we can't be perfect on this earth by ourselves. But we can be perfect in trying, and we can be perfect with Him.

In Relief Society we talked about visiting teaching and a couple of the last things that were said hit me. We had read 3 Nephi 11:13-17, and were talking about how we can learn from Christ's teachings to the people. He preached from within the multitude of the people, and He let them feel His wounds one by one. I've talked about "one" before, but I feel the need to emphasize that you are a significant individual to Him. He loves you and wants you to know Him.


Reading stories, watching collections of pictures from 9/11, it makes me cry every time. I can't imagine how hard it must have been and must still be for the families who lost loved ones too soon that day. Losing someone you love is hard. Losing someone you love like that must have been almost impossible to deal with. It's something you will never be able to forget. I know that I will never forget those who gave their lives trying to save others, and I will never forget those who lost their lives in all of the turmoil. We lost a lot that day, but we also gained a lot: our nation became closer together as one, and in love and repsect for the losses that were suffered that day.

I know that life is hard. I know that we suffer losses in our lives in many different ways–physically, mentally, emotionally–but I also know that our pain can be lifted through Jesus Christ. It most likely will not go away altogether, but I do know that He will lift your burdens. I know that He will help carry your pains. I know that He will be there for you. I know that He loves you. I know that He never forgets you. I know that you are never alone. Please never forget that He is there for you whenever you need Him. He will be there, I promise. You might not always be able to feel Him or His love for you, but I promise that He is there.

Xoxo
Mattie

Let Him in.

Because it's a three-day weekend I decided to come home. It's been a good weekend so far. :)

Friday was a fun day–I had a 9 o'clock class and a three o'clock class. Finding things to do in the four and a half hours I had between classes was great–real fun. ;) I'm sure it will be filled a lot better in the upcoming weeks though. :) Friday night I had the opportunity to help my friend with some things and that was a fun couple of hours–she's awesome and I love her and I love helping her out. :)

Saturday I did some math homework. I'm still not done yet so that will happen either today or tomorrow (night, because I am SO not going to spend all day doing math AGAIN).

And today was great. I heard some things that I loved and needed to hear–not like needed to hear, but needed to hear. 

But first things first, my thoughts during the sacrament today:

In the sacrament hymn While of These Emblems We Partake, it says, "The law was broken; Jesus died That justice might be satisfied". And this reminded me a little of something we talked about in Gospel Doctrine last week. God requires justice, and we ask for mercy. Without a mediator, neither of us can move without the other having to give up something that they desperately want/need. Thankfully, we do have a mediator–our Savior, Jesus Christ. He was willing to pay the price so that, with His help, we can receive mercy and be able to live with God again (Note: Any time this topic comes up, I always think of this video that you should definitely watch because it's great).

I am so grateful for my Savior, and that He was willing to pay the price so that I can be able to live with my Heavenly Father again someday. <3

So today was fast Sunday, and there were a couple of things that some people said in their testimonies today that I loved and wanted to share:
-We're not perfect, but Heavenly Father can look at us and see perfection because of Jesus Christ.
-You don't need to know something, you just need to believe it [and soon you will come to know it].
-God will answer your prayers in time [in His time, and when you are ready].

In Gospel Doctrine there were some things that we talked about that I liked and wanted to share:
-We reap what we sow [i.e., if you do good things, you'll be blessed].
-Our choices determine our future [What we choose to do will have consequences and repercussions that follow, for better or for worse].
-God does not excuse us from the consequences of our actions; we have to be responsible for our own actions and the consequences that follow.

Relief Society was great. It was based on a talk from the September 2016 Ensign entitled, "Can We Live 'after the Manner of Happiness?'" by Elder Brent H. Nielson. One of the things that he said that was quoted that I absolutely loved was this: "if [you don't] have trials in [your] life, the plan [is not] working for [you]." We go through trials to learn and grow, and to become stronger in many aspects of our life. One of the things that Sister Morley talked about was the fact that sometimes we don't turn to God because of our own stubbornness. We feel like we should be able to do things by ourselves and we don't lean on God. That's a silly idea–because there is a way out! There is a way out of our pains, sorrows, and burdens. Jesus Christ has already paid the price, so it would be silly to say, "I can do this on my own." She said, and I agree, that He must be so sad when we do not turn to Him–it must break His heart. The way that we can receive help from Him is first possible by us letting Him in. I know, I know–many times it's hard to let Him in, and oftentimes it's because of our innate human stubbornness, but other times it's because we feel embarrassed, ashamed, or unworthy to be asking for His help. Listen to me: You are ALWAYS worthy and loved and should feel no shame or embarrassment in asking for His help. You are an imperfect human being who makes mistakes, and God knows that, and that is why we have a Savior–to help us repent, repair, and return to God when we make mistakes.

I know that we are blessed to be able to have a Savior to turn to. I know that He loves us UNCONDITIONALLY. No matter what we have done, He still loves us. We are blessed to have been created by loving Heavenly Parents who only want what is best for us, and we are blessed to have an Elder Brother who loves us so much that He was willing to die for us so that we could return to our Heavenly Parents. He also knew that sometimes His gift and sacrifice would not be utilized and yet He still atoned and died for us anyway. If that is not love, I don't know what is. I am so blessed to have been able to have a chance in my life to really and truly feel the power of the Atonement and the love of my Savior. He truly does love us, and there truly is a way back. I'm far from perfect, and I've made my share of mistakes (and then some), and I've had my share of troubles and sorrows and questionable moments, and I know that life is crazy hard and intense sometimes, but when it all comes down to it, I know this: I know that I am loved, I am cherished, I am wanted, and I am enough for and by my Heavenly Parents. And that gives me peace. I know that you are loved, cherished, wanted, and are enough for and by Them, too, and I just want you to know that you are a wonderful person. You are a child of God, a daughter or son of a King, and you are so precious to Him.

Xoxo
Mattie

He will help us find our personal happiness.

I know I already posted yesterday but I can't just not post on Sunday. That's not a thing. So that makes this a double post weekend. :)

So, I had a thought during the sacrament this morning. I'm pretty sure it's not for me because I already went through it for me, but I am going to post it still because it might be for you. :)

"Sometimes it's hard to tell if you've been forgiven by your Heavenly Father. But sometimes the problem isn't that we're not forgiven–the problem is that we have not forgiven ourselves. Once you've forgiven yourself, you can more easily feel at peace and recognize that your Heavenly Father has forgiven you. He doesn't want us to hurt or suffer, but that is sometimes what we have to do in order to trust Him and turn to Him. It may hurt and be hard, but with Him we can find peace."

Someone said something in their talk during sacrament meeting this morning that stood out to me. He said, "If we don't have charity, what good is our faith?" And I just thought about that. It makes sense. If you don't have faith–or if you don't believe–what is the point of doing or having charity? There is none. There cannot be faith without charity, nor charity without faith. They go hand in hand.

The last speaker also said something that stood out to me. She said, "If Heavenly Father loves us, and wants us to be happy, then He's going to give us the experiences that we need to be happy. He wants us to be ourselves, and to find ourself. He will help us find our personal happiness." That was something else she said. We all have a personal happiness. I thought that was very interesting and very true. Things that make me happy won't necessarily make you happy.

In Gospel Doctrine, someone said something that I loved. "Feeling sad is okay. You have to be sad in order to be happy." You can't know happiness unless you've known sadness. Just don't let the sadness overtake you. Turn to your Savior–He'll help you find peace.

Relief Society was great! I loved the lesson, based off of Bishop W. Christopher Waddell's talk in the April conference. One thing that was read/said was, "The solution to our problems is the strengthening of our faith in Jesus Christ." We talked about his three steps to peace, based off of the scripture in D&C 19:23: 1) Learn of me [Christ]; 2) Listen to my words; and 3) Walk in the meekness of my spirit. We can learn of Him in all that we do–scripture study, visiting the temple, standing in holy places, etc. I thought this was interesting: partaking (so, consistently doing/listening) is more of a commitment. And for the last one: the Savior invites us to come to Him. Always. He is the pathway to peace.

It was a great first Sunday in my new ward. I'm excited to get to know my new ward. I'm grateful for my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I'm grateful for the messages that were shared today. I needed them. I know Heavenly Father can help me find my personal happiness. I know that He can help me find peace. I know that life may be tough, and rough, and hard, but I also know that with Jesus Christ as my rock, I can be tougher, and stronger, and I can do hard things. And I know that you can, too. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

In trying to find me, God will be there.

Okay, I've done a lot of thinking in my spare time this past week as I've gotten ready for school to start, and I know it's only Saturday, and the time for my new blogpost is tomorrow, but I feel like this can't wait. I have to say it now. So here goes:

First things first–I always have WAY too much time on my hands hahaha :) Hopefully I'll be able to use it wisely this semester/year.
Second–I love things too hard. Ok, maybe not too hard, but I do love things an awful lot, and sometimes that is too much. Because when things change, it's hard for me to deal with them.
Third–I've realized that I can't always explain why I feel a certain way, or why it's hard for me, etc.

I'm not gonna lie–the first thing is just there just because three things are better than two things. The second one has an impact on the third one, however, and that last one is a little frustrating. Because if I can't explain it, then how in the world am I supposed to be able to figure out how to deal with it? The answer is that sometimes I can't.

That's it. That's the all knowing secret to the ins and outs of Mattie.

Sometimes I just. Don't. Know. And sometimes I just can't.

It's not something that I think I'll ever be able to explain or figure out in this life. But I promise you that I am trying.

I am trying to figure out why sometimes I get so excited about things.

I am trying to figure out why sometimes it's hard for me when things change–from something as simple as taking a different route to school to something as difficult as not seeing or talking to someone as often as you're used to.

I am trying to figure out why sometimes it's really easy for me to let go of me and just be outgoing and have fun, and why sometimes it's not and I just want to curl up in the corner and read a book.

I am trying to figure me out. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's frustrating (It seems I have, at the very least, two VERY opposite sides of me, which can be very hard to deal with).

I'm hoping that this year will be THE year. The year that I figure a lot of things out. I'm hoping that this year things will change for the better. I already am 97% positive that one thing has changed, and it has definitely been extremely hard (and at times, a little heartbreaking) but I think that, in the end, it will help me be more in the moment, and more focused. I have another thing that is changing and I know that it will be infinitely more difficult than the first thing, but I hope and pray that, in the end, it will help me be stronger, and be more sincere, and I hope it will help me cherish the people in my life better.

I know that things will be rough for a little bit while I get used to a new schedule, and new circumstances, and I'm sure that there will be some tears (I'll be okay though :D) but in the end, I will come out a stronger and better me, who is way more in control of her emotions (HA! Oops–I meant hopefully).

I know that God will be with me through this rough patch. He's been with me already. He's never left. I'm grateful for His hand in my life, and for His love and grace. I don't think I've ever needed Him more than while I've been away at school, dealing with new changes and new circumstances. I mean, yes, there was my super rough patch several years ago, and I needed Him then, and it was so hard, and He came through exactly at the right time, but this is way different. This is me trying to still get past that (I feel like I'm on the last hurdle and I can start sprinting to the end soon) and trying to grow up, and overcome it wholly. This is me trying to figure my life out, and where I stand, and who I want to stand with. God has placed people in my life that taught me lessons, and were blessings, and some who were both. And I am so grateful for the lessons I've learned, the blessings I've received, and the friends that I have made–I cherish them all. This is me trying to find me. I've had some trouble with that lately, I think, but I think I wasn't quite ready to find me yet. I wanted to, but I wasn't ready. This time, though...this time, I think I'm ready. This time, I can make the leap to finding myself. This time, I can do it. And God will be there.

Be anxiously engaged in good causes, including your own development.

Well, it's back to school season! Tomorrow all of my siblings in gradeschool (except our little kindergartener) start school. Halie starts at MATC on Tuesday. And I start school next Monday. And this year is going to be way different for a myriad of reasons but one most specifically is that I will be rooming with five other girls and I will have a kitchen. I'm so excited but also nervous and I hope that this year will be a good one. I think that it will be good for me (it being different for a myriad of reasons) but we all know I'm an emotional person who sometimes can't deal–I just really hope that I'll be able to deal this year. Progress is progress, and I've been making a little progress this summer and I hope that it will continue over the course of the school year.

My thoughts during the sacrament this week:
This past week has kind of been stressful for me because I've mentally been so ready to move out for awhile. But it has worked out this week and I've got 99.99% of my things moved out. The last things to be moved out are me, my violin, and one or two other things, which will be happening tonight. I'm just grateful that this past week was full of fun times with a cutie pie that I was watching this week. :) I'm also grateful that this upcoming week will mostly be me finishing putting my stuff away, figuring out how long it will take me to get to campus, getting my books, and scoping out my classes. I know that most of my worries were just in my head but I'm grateful that my Savior was there to help calm me because sometimes it was extremely frustrating and difficult (as things usually are with me), but as I look back on my week, my worrying and frustrating moments were probably not even a total of an hour throughout the whole week. What a blessing that was. I can pinpoint specific moments of worry but they didn't last very long and soon after I was soothed by my Savior. I've had to rely on Him a lot these past couple of weeks and He has always been there. He's listened and He's helped me do things I wanted to but couldn't, or that I didn't want to but needed to. 

We had some high councilmen speak in sacrament meeting today.
Brother Jones talked about faith:
-Faith is a principle of action and of power. 
-Do we show faith in our Heavenly Father, even if we feel He has let us down?
-We sometimes need to experience a trial of faith before the blessings will come. And they will come.
-Choosing faith in our Heavenly Father's plan and in our priesthood leaders will bless us.
-All things are possible.
-We can do hard things if we exercise our faith by choice.  
I loved his message. Sometimes we have to choose faith. Heavenly Father will bless us because of our faith. 
Brother Scoresby talked about the difference between joy and happiness:
-There is a difference between joy and happiness. 
-Joy is when you help people. Happiness is apple pie. 
-We care about those that are lost and we need to find them and help them. 
-When we minister to others we need to:
-Be obedient. Because Heavenly Father will be able to trust you and will send His Spirit to help you. 
He talked about ministering, and how he had a formula, which is:
-Remember their names. 
-Love people without judging them. 
-Watch over them and strengthen them spiritually (one by one; personally). 
-Become friends with them and visit them often.
I loved how he described the difference between happiness and joy. 

In Relief Society we talked about marriage, an eternal partnership. 
Obviously I'm not married, nor am I dating anyone (seriously or at all), but I still listened and paid attention because someday it's going to apply to me, and in the meantime, it can help me know what to look for in a relationship. Here's a couple of my favorite things that were said:
-The Lord expects us to pray for guidance but also to act and go forward with faith. 
-God won't let us do something that isn't good for us. He'll let us know when we're not doing what's right for us. 
-We have to acknowledge how the Spirit speaks to us. We have to be so close to Him and realize how He speaks to us. 
-Sometimes we need to be still within ourselves and listen. 
-"Be anxiously engaged in good causes, including your own development."
-Our conscious effort, not instinct, determines the success. 
-Take it to Heavenly Father and listen to the Holy Ghost. 
-As we follow the Spirit, we will be led in our marriage and in our families. 

I know that this year is going to be different. I know that I'm ready, though, and I know that my Savior will be there for me. I know that sometimes I will have to exercise faith, and I hope that I will be able to make the right decisions. I know that I'm going to want to help others and make them happy, and that will give me joy, but I also know that this might mean that I will forget about myself. I hope to be able to remember to help myself, too. I hope that I will go on more dates this year, but if not, I at least hope to be able to make more guy friends and get more comfortable around guys. I know that I can turn to my Heavenly Father for help in all areas of my life, and I hope to be able to set a schedule this year and make more time for my personal scripture study.

I wish us all luck as this new school year begins. I love you all and hope that you will turn to your Heavenly Father. I also hope that you will know that I am always there for you whenever you need to talk–I will listen.

Have a wonderful year!

Xoxo
Mattie

Make it a lifestyle, not a checklist.

I had the opportunity to sit in church by myself this morning and I was thinking about this during the sacrament: This weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with my mom's side of the family at our family reunion. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that families can be together forever though the sealing power in the temple. I love my crazy, wonderful family and can't imagine life without them. I look forward to the day when I can be sealed to my future husband for time and all eternity. I am so thankful for the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, which makes correction, perfection, resurrection, and eternal families possible. <3

Here's some messages I heard throughout today (and some I came up with because of something I heard) that I loved and wanted to share:
-The Lord is there to save us when we walk towards Him. Even when we doubt, He still saves us. He will always save us.
-In striving to be better, we need to rise above challenges and trials. They are tailored uniquely to us. Even if someone has gone through something similar, they do not and cannot understand how you felt during that trial. Only Jesus Christ has, can, and does understand how you feel.
-Ask for opportunities to be better! God will hear you and help you grow.
-Mistaks are a part uv the jurney. ;)
-"We get credit for trying." (Elder Holland, "Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders among You"). Get back up and try again.
-One of the speakers shared some of the last words his father spoke, and one of the things he said that I loved was that, "Good things come to those who work hard for them."
-Alma 37:6. Take time for the small things that matter.
-Finding how the Lord communicates with you is so essential.
-An overall message of the Book of Mormon is to be spiritually born again and again and again (We are human, and the natural man is sometimes overpowering, and we have to strive to do right and be spiritually born again).
-Believing is so important. We need to have faith and believe.
-Just believing is okay. There is nothing wrong with believing and not having a knowledge of something.
-Strive to be worthy always so you may attend the temple.
-In following the commandments and trying to be worthy to attend the temple: Strive. Try. Make it a lifestyle, not a checklist. (I loved that last line. It applies to many aspects of the Gospel)
-The work we do in the temple is not just for us. It's for those who have gone before us.
-Don't take for granted the things you see every day.

In Relief Society, I shared a story of when I went to the temple this past year. One of my friends asked if I wanted to go with her and some others, and I said yes because I did. It was a great evening–I felt seen, loved, and wanted, and I received answers to my prayers. It was a very spiritual experience and I will never forget it. <3

I'm so thankful for inspired messages and comments. I heard many things today that I loved and that helped me in many ways. I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father, who knows what I need to hear and how. I'm so thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and for His atoning sacrifice, because without Him I would not be who I am today. He has helped me heal and grow in a way that I would not have been able to do by myself. I am still growing and healing, but I know that I can do it with the help of my Savior. <3 I know that you can do it, too. He is there for you through everything, and if you ever want to talk, I am willing to listen, and I want you to know that your Heavenly Father will always listen to you. He hears you–every word.

Xoxo
Mattie

He knows what you need to grow.

This is another little thought that I had last night (sometimes my late night thoughts are really profound):

"I'm dreaming and dreaming. Nothing's come true yet. I still have a ways to go, and a ways to dream. I've come so far, and yet it's not been far at all. It feels like one step forward is sometimes two steps backwards. Why is this so hard? How will this ever work out? I don't even know what I want anymore.
And then it hit me: I.
Yes, yes, I can still have dreams.
But Heavenly Father has a plan for me. A plan that includes dreaming, waiting, and not knowing.
Someday I'll know. And most days I wish that "someday" was today or tomorrow. But until my "someday", I just have to trust Him, and follow Him.
Occasionally there are the days that I forget–I forget my dreams, I forget my wants–and I just am.
Those days, while they may appear dreadfully dull on the outside (or even sometimes to me), are actually quite peaceful.
Just being is oftentimes a blessing in disguise."

Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want to happen that we forget that our Father in Heaven has a plan for us, and we forget to live.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During the sacrament today, I was thinking about the sacrament hymn, "As Now We Take The Sacrament", and one line in particular stood out to me: "And silently we pray, For courage to accept thy will, To listen and obey". We pray for courage–courage to accept the Lord's will, and courage to listen and obey. We do not always know what's going to happen in our lives, or what the Lord is going to ask of us. But we need to pray for courage to accept His will. Sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes we want one thing, but the Lord has planned something else for us. Sometimes we may not understand why things happen, but we just need to trust Him. He knows what He's doing and He won't let us down. So we just need to have courage and trust Him.

One of my friends bore their testimony today and she said that (it's a little bit paraphrased), "Sometimes the way the Savior helps us is by letting us struggle. Struggle means there's growth. There's no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone."

I love that. Leaving your comfort zone is hard (I know), but it means you're growing and changing. Trust your Heavenly Father–He knows what you need to grow.