I do not know everything, but I know enough.

It has been a little bit of a crazy week but I'm glad it's over!! I have hope this next week will go a little more smoothly!

Today I was thinking during the sacrament about how grateful I am for my Savior!! I am so grateful that He patiently waits for me to be ready. Forgiving yourself can be really, really hard, but once you have, your life becomes so peaceful and happy! I am grateful for the lessons I have learned in my life,  but I hope to never again experience that long period of time where I felt so uncomfortable with who I was. I believe that my inability to forgive myself has been one of the main reasons I have been unable to fully hear my Father in Heaven. But now that I have come to forgive myself, and am taking medication for my anxiety and depression, and am trying to study my scriptures every day, I believe my ability to hear Him is no longer clouded by noise. And though I do not know what the future holds for me, I am so, so blessed to be able to say, "I am just trying to take things one step at a time." There are times where my anxiety/depression takes over, but I am more capable now to shut it down as quickly as I can. God has really blessed me in the last year, and I am full of gratitude for His love, assistance, and guidance. He has blessed me immensely in the last couple of months, too, and I am so, so grateful for that. His love and the peace that I have felt in my life recently is a blessing in my life.

Today was our ward conference, and one thing that I loved that was talked about was the fact that sometimes we might have our own '4-9' season, but we can make the changes we need (with the help of our Father in Heaven) to have a perfect–or close to perfect–season. 

There have been a lot of changes in the church recently, and one of the Stake Presidency said that it is because the leaders are trying to help us become a more righteous people. They are trying to help us minister as the Savior did and does. 

Alex talked in our Relief Society meeting today about anxiety and depression. She said that perfection is our ultimate goal, but we need to be realistic. It's not going to happen in this life. So we need to be kind to ourselves. And most of all, we need to never lose faith in Heavenly Father. We are vessels in the hands of a divine potter. He is molding and sculpting us to be the best person that we can be. She also said that broken minds and hearts can be healed just like broken bodies. I love that and KNOW it to be true!! 💜💜

Sister Card said that when we are in the darkness, we are more likely to lose hope. Darkness does not mean there is not light, though. Often it means that we are in the wrong place to receive the light. We can choose to walk in Christ's life. With His light comes HOPE and HEALING. 💜

We do not need to be perfect. But we do need to be good at getting better. 💜

The light of the Gospel of Christ will cut through the darkness, confusion, and discouragement. 💜

Learn to love you, right where you are. 💜💜💜

Be grateful for the small victories. 💜

Sometimes it takes time to forgive yourself. He's already forgiven you; He is just waiting for you to catch up. 💜💜💜

Revelation from God brings (and is) PEACE. 💜

I do not know everything, but I know enough. I know that my Savior loves me. I know that my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy, and I know that He wants me to return to live with Him someday. I know that, as I minister to those around me, and as I love and serve my friends and family, that I will be blessing those around me, and that I will be blessed for blessing them. I know that I am a daughter of God, and I know that I am loved by the most Divine Being. I know that He is always there for me, and I know that He has blessed me with so many beautiful friendships that can help me and others to know that we are never alone. I know that nothing is impossible with God if it is His will, and I know that together, He and I can do marvelous things. 💜

I hope you have a lovely week! And I hope you have a peaceful Sabbath day. 💜

Xoxo
Mattie

Here in mortality, perfection is still pending.

I have been studying the scriptures with a friend for the past couple of days and it has been such a blessing! I am learning so much more than I usually do by myself as we talk and discuss the scriptures together. I am so thankful for her insights and love–we had a really awesome study session last night and I learned several new things that I am excited to incorporate into my life. One thing I am hoping to work on is not only being humble enough to trust Heavenly Father, but I also want to work on trusting Him enough to be humble.

We were reading in Doctrine and Covenants section 67 last night, and in verse 3 it says, "there were fears in your hearts, and verily this is the reason that ye did not receive." I loved that because I thought it explained so much! Sometimes we don't trust Him enough, and we are more afraid...and that is why we don't get answers. Because fear comes from Satan, not God, and when we are afraid, we are essentially not trusting Him, so why would He give us an answer if we don't trust Him? Lately I have been coming to terms with the fact that I think I do not trust Him enough...which really makes me sad, but probably makes Him even more devastated. And even though I have been trying to work on it, I don't think that I have really been focused on it all that much. So that is one of my goals for this next week/the next couple of weeks. I know that with His help, I can do it. 

In sacrament meeting today, Aunica talked about four types of members, and specifically about the fourth type. She talked about how we need to give up our will, and be willing to do whatever God asks of us. We need to take the steps necessary to do His will. One thing that she briefly mentioned that I absolutely loved was the fact that it [meaning, for instance, our Sabbath day worship, our daily worship, etc.] only becomes for us when we let it be for Him. 

Brother Thompson talked about how we don't need to be perfect right now, we just need to strive to be perfect. He said, "Here in mortality, perfection is still pending." We have an opportunity to improve, and that's the goal–line upon line, precept on precept. 

I feel like a lot of the lessons I learned in church today complemented a lot of the messages that Haley and I studied last night, and I am so grateful for that. I am so thankful for the scriptures, and for the fact that she and I study the most amazing and perfect things for me when I need them, and I hope and pray that they help her when she needs them, too.

It's hard to accept the fact that sometimes, you don't know what is going on in your life. It's hard to accept that you don't know what is going to happen. It's hard to accept that sometimes, God trusts you to make decisions. My roommates and I were talking this morning about that, and Carrie said that sometimes, when you don't really feel prompted one way or another, that just means that the decision you're trying to make doesn't really make a difference one way or another. And it means that God trusts you. And I said, "Well, He trusts me more than I trust myself." And she said that maybe that means that I need to learn to trust myself more, and trust Him more. And she's right. I have been struggling recently with a lot of different things, and realized that I need to learn to accept His trust, and help, and I need to learn to be humble. I've been struggling to focus on lots of different things in my life right now so I am only going to focus on one thing right now, and that is my humility. I feel like, as I learn more about humility, and being humble, and as I become more humble, I will eventually also be able to trust Him more, so really it's like hitting two birds with one stone, just slowly. 

I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned this weekend. I am grateful for supportive and loving friends, and family. I am grateful for the resources that I have access to. I am grateful for the fact that I am here on Earth. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to learn and grow. I am grateful that I am able to go to school. I am grateful for the opportunities that I have to serve those around me. I am grateful for the people in my life who help me remember who I am, and how strong I am, and how brave, and kind, and intelligent, and loved. I am grateful for those who do not let me degrade myself, and for those who lift me up when I am feeling down, and when I cannot lift myself up. I am grateful for those who remind me of Jesus Christ, and of what He would do. I am grateful for those who stand as witnesses of God, at all times, and for those who stand with me. I am grateful for those who not only love me, but let me love them. 

I can't believe that March is coming to a close soon! The semester is going by so fast! I hope that you have a wonderful week! Heavenly Father loves you!! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Respect, love, and kindness–be perfect in trying.

Tender mercies are amazing, beautiful little things that always seem to come when I'm feeling the most down. I'm thankful that my Heavenly Father knows my needs and fills them, and I'm grateful for the little reminders that I am not alone, forgotten, or unloved. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to bless others with that same knowledge, and to fill them with feelings of happiness, peace, and love.

 Sacrament meeting was wonderful! I loved all the messages on gratitude that were given today. Two of my favorites were:
-Being grateful is a good way to be happy.
-Being grateful for the things Heavenly Father does for us can improve our relationship with Him.

One of the things I learned in temple prep today I already sort of knew, but the way that it was presented was amaaaazing and just really stood out to me!

Josh wrote on the board:
worthiness ≠ worth/value
worthiness = preparation

I loved that! It was so clear and easy to see what worthiness is and is not. Worthiness is your preparation. It's not your worth or your value. You are ALWAYS going to have worth and value. That is never going to change. Your worthiness, however, will depend on how prepared you.

Josh shared a quote by President Hinckley. He said, "We believe in chastity before marriage and total fidelity after marriage. That about sums it up. That is the way to happiness in living. That is the way to satisfaction. It brings peace to the heart and peace to the home."

We talked about how we all have things that hold us back, but because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can get through it. We can make it through. We also talked about how there are a lot of different Christian/nonChristian churches, with a lot of different beliefs, and you can pick and choose which one fits your standards. But Josh said, "This is the church that helps us fit God's standards" (emphasis added). I loved that! We are not meant to change the Lord's standards, but we are meant to try and live them.

We talked about how to help people who are struggling with maybe the Word of Wisdom, or the Law of Chastity, and we just said how important it is to listen, and to love them no matter what, and to be respectful and courteous when they're talking to you. It's sometimes hard to share the deepest parts of you with people, and if they make fun of you, or make light of the situation, it doesn't make you want to open up to anyone ever again.

Relief Society was beautiful! We started off with a Dove beauty campaign video that shows/talks about how we view ourselves versus how we view others, and how others view us. We talked about how, as we visit teach our sisters, we help them see their potential. We help them see themselves how we see them. :)

We talked about fellowshipping with those not of our faith today, and there were just a few messages that I loved that I wanted to share:
-Focus on the positives about people.
-Just be a good example.
-Kindness is key.

President Hinckley's fourth point was one of my favorites. He said, "When we treat others with love, respect, and kindness, we show that we are true disciples of Jesus Christ." I love that so much. There is really no other way to show that we are true disciples of Christ. Treating others with respect, kindness, and love, no matter what the circumstances, is the epitome of being a disciple of Christ.

Personally, I try every day to treat others with love, respect, and kindness. It's important to me that everyone feels loved and respected. Sometimes, I make a mistake, but I try again and again. I might not be perfect at treating others with love and kindness, but I am perfect in trying, and I think that that is all God asks of us.

I'm so grateful for the lessons today. I'm grateful for my Savior, and for His hand in my life. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father and for His love and support. I'm so thankful that the Christmas Musical Fireside I am in charge of is going well already!! I can't wait for it!! I'm so excited and grateful to be in charge of it! It's going to be so amazing and I am just super ecstatic about it!

Hope you have a great week! It's almost Thanksgiving! Hold on for about 11 more days!

Xoxo
Mattie

Never forget.

Today is 9/11, and I've been thinking about it all day.

So I had some thoughts about it during the sacrament this morning, as well as some other thoughts and I wanted to share:

Today is 9/11. I don't really remember it but I remember all the times in school when we would remember it and talk about it. It was a sad day in our nation's history–we lost so many good and precious people–but we grew closer as a nation and came to be one. I hope it doesn't take another event like that to bring us all closer once again. We will never forget the events of 9/11, but I hope that we never forget how it brought us closer as a nation. 

Our Savior died for us. He died so that we could be saved. He died to help us return to our Heavenly Father. He died so that we can repent. He died so that we can forgive and feel peace. He died for us in so many ways. But the biggest reason of all, I feel, is that He died because He loves us. 

The topic in sacrament meeting was missionary work, and there were so many great things said. One thing that stood out to me today was that Christ is the one who makes us whole. I've known and felt that my whole life but I don't think I've ever worded it like that, so I'm grateful for the speaker who said it. Christ is the one who makes us whole. He brings the broken pieces of us together and heals us. And we represent Him! We are His hands. He has entrusted us with His name, so we must never forget who we are or who we represent.

In Gospel Doctrine we talked about the stripling warriors. Someone said that it's better to look for different solutions than to break your covenants. Something else that was said that I liked was that strength comes from being perfect in trying. We don't have to be perfect–in fact, we can't be perfect on this earth by ourselves. But we can be perfect in trying, and we can be perfect with Him.

In Relief Society we talked about visiting teaching and a couple of the last things that were said hit me. We had read 3 Nephi 11:13-17, and were talking about how we can learn from Christ's teachings to the people. He preached from within the multitude of the people, and He let them feel His wounds one by one. I've talked about "one" before, but I feel the need to emphasize that you are a significant individual to Him. He loves you and wants you to know Him.


Reading stories, watching collections of pictures from 9/11, it makes me cry every time. I can't imagine how hard it must have been and must still be for the families who lost loved ones too soon that day. Losing someone you love is hard. Losing someone you love like that must have been almost impossible to deal with. It's something you will never be able to forget. I know that I will never forget those who gave their lives trying to save others, and I will never forget those who lost their lives in all of the turmoil. We lost a lot that day, but we also gained a lot: our nation became closer together as one, and in love and repsect for the losses that were suffered that day.

I know that life is hard. I know that we suffer losses in our lives in many different ways–physically, mentally, emotionally–but I also know that our pain can be lifted through Jesus Christ. It most likely will not go away altogether, but I do know that He will lift your burdens. I know that He will help carry your pains. I know that He will be there for you. I know that He loves you. I know that He never forgets you. I know that you are never alone. Please never forget that He is there for you whenever you need Him. He will be there, I promise. You might not always be able to feel Him or His love for you, but I promise that He is there.

Xoxo
Mattie