A New Year means a new Me.

Hi! I had a busy day today. I was watching my friend's little boy (he's SO adorable! ❤️) for several hours. He's sooo cute and I just LOVE watching him play and have fun!! :) [Side note that I could probably leave out and is on my "Mattie Don't Do That" list but I'm Me so I won't leave it out and I will do it: If I could somehow split myself into multiple Mattie's, thus enabling me to watch him whenever she needs (as well as allowing me do what I need to do) I totally would]
I can't wait till the day when I get to watch my own little babies play and have fun, but for now, I will have to live with watching other people's–which is fine by me. More exposure to lots of kids who are just so cute! :)

It's almost a new year! New year, new me, new experiences, and new goals. It's all so exciting!! Buuuuuuut also terrifying. I'm not going to lie–I'm kind of terrified. I have a different work schedule this upcoming semester–the lunch shift Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. SO my afternoons/evenings are cleared up because my last classes on Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays end at 3! So I'm super grateful for that. But this job pays less than my custodial job that I had the first half of the semester. And I have slightly fewer hours, as well. So it's a giant cut in my pay and I'm a little worried about that. Also, I'm not sure if I'll be doing spring semester or not–I still have to talk to my parents about that.

ANYWAY, this new year brings on New Year's Resolutions! The fun to-do/work on list that practically everyone quits following after a month or two. ;) I'm going to try really, really, really hard this year, though. My New Year's Resolutions are as follows:

1. To have consistent and meaningful scripture study and prayer. I am really bad at this–I will either get one or the other. This year I want to try and get both. It will be easier this year, I think, for this semester I am not working early in the morning or till 10 at night. But we will see. 
2. To be patient–with myself and others. I usually am more patient with others than I am with myself, but sometimes I get a little frustrated with others (though I try not to let it show because it's not their fault, and they're not doing anything wrong, it's just me being me). So I'm going to try and be better about that this year. Especially with myself, too. I am still, uh, healing, I guess, from something that impacted me greatly a couple of years ago and I just need to be patient with myself and work on it one day at a time.
3. To have kind words, thoughts, and actions. This one has become a bigger part of my life in more recent years as I've grown up. I am trying so hard to be a good person but it's getting a little bit harder as I am becoming more exposed to the world. 
4. To keep up/be ahead with my homework. This will be a little difficult, but hopefully less difficult, since my work schedule is on my days off, and my evenings are going to be cleared up. 
5. To manage my time well. I am bad at this. I either guess how much time something will take me to do wrong, or I put it off more than I should have, or both, or something else equally as bad. Anyway, I am going to try to be better about this.
6. To not be afraid to do something fun and/or spontaneous. This one I have trouble with sometimes. I worry about how much time it will take, or if I should have done that (that being any number of things from "Should I have sent that text?" to "Oh my gosh, I should not have waited so long to do this *fun thing* or *this thing I have to do sometime*"). Anyway, I worry about the time, or if I should have done that, or whatever, when I should just relish and bask in the fun-ness and the spontaneity of whatever I am/will be doing. 
7. To be more friendly. Sometimes I'm super friendly, but sometimes I get really shy or intimidated because that's just who I am. I have been getting a lot better (especially since I started college) but I have also been thinking and worrying a lot more (also especially since I started college) which needs to stop! So, cue number 8.
8. To not think or worry so much. This one is going to be the most difficult, I think, because it is just in my nature. I can't help it. I overthink everything and I stress about a lot of things that I don't/can't always control. Sometimes it's good, but a lot of the time it just makes me more stressed and worried. So I am going to try to keep it down. I'm never going to stop thinking or worrying, but I can definitely try to do it less often/intensely.
9. To a) be more Christlike; and b) turn to my Savior more often. As in daily. I need to remember that He is there for me whenever I need Him and that He will help me through anything and everything that I need to do. He will always be there for me, and I do not have to do anything alone.

As you can see, I have quite a list, which is a little intimidating, but also exciting! Usually I only have one or two things. This year, I have NINE! (Ten if you count 9 as two things, but eh) That's a little scary but I know that I can do it! As I focus on turning to my Savior, and being more like Him, I know that everything else will fall into place. I'm super excited for this new year–it's going to be way different, but also kind of the same. Here's to a new year, new goals, new experiences, new classes, new friends, new relationships, and a new me. :)

P.S. This is entirely irrelevant but I still haven't been on a(n official) date yet since I started college, and you know what? I've decided that I am completely okay with that and I'm not going to worry about it. It'll happen when it'll happen. And besides, I'm still trying to figure out exactly who I am–which is kind of being troublesome. Throw dating into that mix and I will be a completely chaotic and insanely mad mess. ;) 

We just need to follow Him.

Well, Christmas was two days ago! I had a wonderful day with my family. I hope you did, too. :)

Today in sacrament meeting, the topic was the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is a companion to us–a gift from our Heavenly Father. He is there to comfort us, and to guide and direct us. He helps us know what is the right decision to do. He prompts us to say or do things that will bless others, or bless us, and that will answer people's prayers, even if we don't know that. 

In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about Revelation 6:6-11.
We talked about how the world is falling away from the Lord's laws. The world's definition of right and wrong is different from the Lord's–practically opposite: the Lord's right is the world's wrong and the Lord's wrong is the world's right. We talked about how Satan's plan–his plan in heaven–was to make everyone do the right thing. We would have no agency. Brother Shearer brought up the fact that the world is trying to make everything vanilla–take away all labels, and make everything and everyone the same. Satan is still trying to put his plan into action–except for now he's trying to make everyone do the wrong thing and go against God. He knows he cannot win, but he is going to try and take down as many people as he can.

We talked about how the opposite of faith is fear, and fear is not of God. Fear is from Satan. One of the ladies said that comparison is the thief of joy. When we compare ourselves to others, we usually compare our weaknesses to their strengths, which makes it so we never win. However, this is not a fair comparison! Weakness to strength is not a good comparison. And besides, you shouldn't compare yourself to others anyway, because we all go through different experiences. This is the reason why we have strengths and weaknesses: our experiences are all different, and they give us different results. 

We have to stand up for what is right. Someone (I think it was Brother Shearer again) said that people are becoming more afraid of offending others. Take this holiday season, for example. There is Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, etc. And people have taken to say "Happy Holidays" for fear of offending people. I'll tell you what: If someone says "Happy Hanukah" or Kwanza or whatever they celebrate to me, I will not be offended! I'll say "Thank you! You too" or "Thank you! Merry Christmas". The fact that they cared enough to wish me a happy (fill in the blank holiday) means a lot to me. I don't care what you celebrate. 

Someone else said that good will prevail. Good will prevail! God is going to win this war. You have to stand up for what is right. "Do what is right; let the consequence follow. Battle for freedom in spirit and might; and with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow. God will protect you; then do what is right!" (Do What Is Right, Hymn #237). God will bless you and protect you as you follow Him and listen to and follow His prophets and the Spirit. 

In Relief Society we talked about Christlike attributes, and how we need to think and be like Christ. My first thought was, "Perfect! This goes perfectly with the theme of my blog, Keeping Christ In Your Heart". 

We made a list of the attributes of Christ after watching a video that listed them. Christ is humble, obedient, courageous, kind, selfless, a teacher, submissive, full of love, a healer, a servant, and forgiving. Sister Nelson said that divine nature (like in the Young Women's theme) is the process of developing Christlike attributes. I loved that. We then read in 2 Peter 1:5-7, which added to our list of Christlike attributes:

"And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity." 

When we develop these Christlike attributes, we become more Christlike (I hope that was obvious) and we are closer to being able to live with God again. Christlike attributes help us become a better person. I'm not perfect, and there are some attributes that I need to work on more than others, but trying to be Christlike makes me a better person. These attributes make me more aware of other's needs, though I still need to work on some of them. For example, I need to work on being more patient. That's something that I struggle with, but I'm trying.

Guess what? You can always ask Him for help. :) We don't have to do anything on our own, because we're not alone. We can do it with His help. You can ask Him to help you not feel bad after you've repented. You can ask Him to help you think good thoughts about someone that you don't always get along with. Whatever you need, you can ask Him. Because when we are partners with Him, we can never fail. He is always there looking out for us, even when we stray. He wants us to be like Him, and He wants us to be able to return to Him. He's given us all that we need, and we just need to follow Him. :)

Because He was born.

So grateful that I was able to have two Christmas-oriented sacrament meetings! My YSA ward last week, and my home ward this week. Both were absolutely beautiful meetings. So grateful for the power of music, and for the testimonies that were shared through the messages of the words sung today, as well as the Spirit that was felt throughout the whole meeting.

I would like to talk about Christ today, since this Friday is Christmas!! I can't believe it! It feels like I just started college, even though I literally just finished it on Friday. It's been a busy semester, and this month has been especially busy as I tried to balance school, work, and thinking about Christ and the true meaning of Christmas.

Jesus Christ was born in the humblest of places: He was born in a stable in Bethlehem. His first bed was a manger filled with hay/straw. His birth is the reason that we celebrate Christmas but Christmas is a time to remember the birth and life of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Last year, I found this quote that I love by Elder Holland:

“You can’t separate Bethlehem from Gethsemane or the hasty flight into Egypt from the slow journey to the summit of Calvary. It’s of one piece. It is a single plan. It considers ‘the fall and rising again of many in Israel’ [Luke 2:34], but always in that order. Christmas is joyful not because it is a season or decade or lifetime without pain and privation, but precisely because life does hold those moments for us." ~Jeffrey R. Holland ("Shepherds, Why this Jubilee?" 2000)

I love this quote. His birth and His Atonement are intertwined. They're part of the same plan. Because He was born, He was able to live a perfect life and be the perfect example to us. Because He was born, He was able to save us. Because He was born, He was able to die for us. Because He was born, He was able to be resurrected after His death. Because He was born, we can live again.

Have courage and be kind.

Well today was a great day! I performed "Oh Holy Night" in sacrament meeting and I was infinitely less nervous to perform today (that may be partly because I wasn't the only one performing today, but it may also be partly because it is a Christmas song and I love Christmas music. Who knows, though) and it was so good! I did so well, and I didn't mess up on some parts that I had trouble with when I was practicing. So that was great! Hats off to my accompanist because she's awesome. :) Sacrament meeting was just so good today. We had seven people/groups perform Christmas numbers, and it was so beautiful and spiritually uplifting. So grateful for my ward and all of the beautifully talented people in it. :)


In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about how God shows His love for us, and how we can show our love for Him. 

God shows His love for us in many ways, but one of the most important ways is that He sent His Son to save us. He loved (and loves us) so much that He sent His Son to die for us so that we could return to Him again. 
We show our love for God by keeping His commandments, and by being His hands and loving and serving those around us. 

In Relief Society, we talked about feeding Jesus' sheep. We talked about loving the people, and serving them. We talked about (for non/less active members) not pushing the gospel onto them. Just be there for them–be their friend, love them, serve them. Show them that you genuinely care, and that you see them. Show them that they mean something to you, and that they're not just a number. Just let them know that someone cares for them, and someone wants the best for them. I love my relief society. The girls in my hall are the BEST!!!! I love them all so much and they have all made me a better person, and they've helped strengthen my testimony and I'm so grateful for them!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

People are imperfect. People make mistakes. But that doesn't mean that God doesn't love them any less. That also doesn't mean that they are worth less. We are all precious in His sight. He wants us all to feel (and be) loved and safe. And since He Himself cannot be here to do so, He sends people to us. He sends us to others. We can be the answer to someone's prayers or needs. "Have courage and be kind." I literally just decided that that is going to be my quote this week: Have courage and be kind. But that quote is also kind of my life motto. I don't care who you are, or what you've done (yes, I accidentally quoted the Backstreet Boys, but I don't care. And it was an accident, I promise) but I will be kind to you. Even if you are not kind to me. I will always be kind to you. Because that is what Jesus would do, and I am trying to be like Jesus. I'm not perfect–far from it–but with and through Christ, I can become perfected. Life can be tough, but I love to make other people happy and I've found that making other people happy makes me happy. And by making other people happy, I make God happy. So it comes full circle because knowing God makes me happy. :)

The Priesthood, motherhood, marriage, and family.

I've been thinking a lot today about what I want to post today. 

And I got my idea today during sacrament meeting. 

I was watching the young men in my ward pass the sacrament to the congregation, and I was thinking about how grateful I am that the young men in my ward are worthy priesthood holders, and how reverently they pass the sacrament each week. They have the power of God, and they use it reverently and respectfully.  I'm grateful that I have worthy priesthood holders in my life that I can turn to for blessings, and for help.

During this time, I was also thinking about the ordain women movement, and how I don't understand why those women want the priesthood because women have an important power from God, too: the power to create and bear life. The power of creation is a God-like power, and that sacred power was given to women–women are able to bear bodies for the spirit children of God. And then I was thinking of this scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 4:5-6: "And faith, hope, charity, and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work. Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence." And as I remembered this scripture, I was thinking of all of the wonderful mothers in my life that I look up to and love, and who display these attributes: my mom, my aunts, my grandmother, and several of my friends (like all of my past Young Women leaders, a few of the girls that I looked up to when I was a new Beehive, and others that I could name specifically but I won't because I don't want to be weird. Plus it would take too much time. Let's just say I have a lot of friends that are moms and I love them to death). Motherhood is a sacred calling and these women fulfill it in their own ways but they each do it beautifully. I'm grateful for their examples of charity, love, and how to be a good mother. 

Men and women both have different roles in Heavenly Father's plan, but that doesn't mean that they are not equal. Their roles are different, yes, but that does not mean that one is more or less important than the other. Men and women have to work together. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it says, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." Men and women both have different roles to fulfill, but they work together, and are equals in marriage.

I am so grateful for the wonderful examples in my life that show me what a marriage should be like, and I'm so grateful for the temple, in which families can be sealed together forever. I'm grateful that my parents were sealed together and that I get to be with my family forever, and I'm looking forward to the day when I can be sealed to my future husband and we can start our own family together.

Blessings on crazy days.

I feel like I need to say something today. Today was crazy!! I had an a cappella performance tonight so I couldn't work. So a couple of weeks ago I asked if someone could cover for me, and someone said he could. I was like, "Sweet!" So I tried to contact him the other day and make sure that he was still okay with covering for me. Nothing. I was like, "Okay, I'll try again tomorrow." Tomorrow as in yesterday. Nothing. I tried again this morning. NOTHING. By now, I'm freaking out and worried—worried that he wouldn't ever respond; worried that he'd be like, "Actually, I forgot, and now I can't"; worried what I would do. I didn't take my work clothes because I was counting on him to cover for me, but I was worried I'd have to go to work, so I'd have to run from my last class home to change for work—it would be a mess—I'd be a mess. Anyway, my first class was at noon so I just went to class. Finally, sometime between 1 and 3, I decided to comment on the post on the employee Facebook group that I had posted a couple weeks (make sense? I posted to the group a couple weeks ago and decided to comment again). HE RESPONDED! I was like, "Halle-freakin-lujah! Thank you!" And he was still able to cover for me. So grateful for that tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. He really does care for us and know how to soothe our souls. I love Him and am grateful for Him and His Son—my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to turn to and count on Him for anything and everything. Especially since I am a stresser and a worrier. I'm glad that I can turn to Him—though, I'll be honest, sometimes I get so wrapped up in my worries and stresses that I forget to turn to Him. But when I do remember to turn to Him, He's there, waiting. And He's there, keeping me up, and loving me, no matter what.

Strength.

This week my quote is, "You are stronger than you know." I needed it for a different reason than I will give but it's a powerful quote. These next couple of days/weeks will be interesting and busy. Finals are coming up soon, and in my two smaller classes, that means final projects, too. But I can do this!! I just need to use my time wisely. It's not impossible. I'm stronger than I know, and I'm more capable than I know. And that goes for you, too. You are stronger and more capable than you know. And I believe in and support you. Don't forget to turn to God when you need to. He loves you, so He'll help you. And if you feel you're not strong enough, turn to Him. He'll give you the strength that you need. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Two separate Facebook posts about today. I had a blast with my family today! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I'm grateful for so many things!! I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to go to school and get an education. I'm lucky and grateful to have been surrounded by so many great examples throughout my life. I'm so grateful that there are temples around. I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities that I have had (and will have) to grow as a person and to grow in the gospel. I'm so grateful for my family and friends (they love me in spite of my weirdness and craziness ;) ). I'm so grateful for the scriptures and the prophets. But most of all I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, and my Savior, Jesus Christ. His Atonement has helped me heal more times than I can count, but I know that I can always count on Him to be there for me.

It's been a really fun day. Filled with family, food, dessert (yes it's a separate category of food), funny videos, and laughing fits and outbursts. I love my family and I'm so grateful that I got to spend the day with them. I'm also grateful that I get to be myself. I know I'm crazier and weirder than most but I wouldn't trade who I am to be anyone else. I'm grateful that I get to be me because my world is better when I'm being myself–it's real. :)

A message about life and love. I hope.

I know I already posted today, but I need to post this. I had a headache today (shocker, I know) and I just didn't know why. And earlier today (around 4) something so extremely small happened that made me a little sad (I don't even know why; it was so stupid). And then I had a meeting about my calling, which is Compassionate Service and I was like, "Okay, it's all good when I get to pray for and serve others and be compassionate towards them, but what about when I need compassionate service?" And I hate asking people for help like that because I'm really blessed because I don't have things as bad as others. And so I decided to watch something, and I was, until like 40 minutes ago when I decided that maybe walking would help get rid of my headache. So I got up and I was looking at Facebook and one of my friends liked a post I had shared and written yesterday. I was looking at it and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I needed that!" And I almost started crying but I walked around in circles a couple times (strangely, this tactic works sometimes for different things like trying not to stress or cry. I don't know why) and decided to walk downstairs. Did you know it's really hard trying to find a private spot in a dormitory hall where there's hundreds of girls living? Like, the only private areas are the practice rooms downstairs. ANYWAY. So I decided to come downstairs, which is where I am now. And then I decided to turn on my church/inspirational playlist and read my scriptures. But when I opened my LDS library app, a song came on that made me start sobbing. I just started sobbing (and it was awful to listen to because I sob weirdly when I'm trying not to sob really loudly and so I tried not to sob so much but that just made it sound even more awful) and so I turned to the section with texts about Jesus Christ. And I read The Living Christ, or the prophets and apostles' testimony of Jesus Christ. And this song ("Take Me There" by Hilary Weeks) was just describing exactly how I felt and what I needed and wanted and it made me cry more, but as I kept reading The Living Christ my tears stopped streaming down my face. I know He lives. This world we're living in—it's getting really bad, and it's making me sad for everyone who's hurt because of bad decisions made by other people. I wish I could just wrap all of those people who are hurting in a big hug and I wish I could make it all better. But I can't. Maybe...maybe I'm supposed to serve a mission, to spread His message of love and peace. Until this moment, I never actually felt a burning desire to serve a mission. It's always been something that wasn't really a part of my plan and I thought that was it (oh gosh, here come the tears again). Maybe I need to ask God again. Maybe I need this. But I'm scared. I'm not gonna lie—the thought of serving a mission has always frightened me. I'll have to ponder on that some more, I think. ANYWAY. Back to how I wish I could wrap everyone in a big hug. I personally cannot. But because God is real, He can bless them. I know everyone is always like, "How can an all-powerful God let bad things happen? How come so many people die because of cancer, or terrorists?" First I have to say this: I'm so sad about the way that our country (and the world) is going. People aren't as trusting in or believing in God. And it's so sad to me. I know I haven't been as studious with my personal spiritual growth (weird, right? You'd think at BYU it would be easier) but I still believe in Him. I love Him, and I know that His plan is just too grand for our human brain to comprehend fully. I don't know everything but I do know that God loves us. I do know that He sent His Son—Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer—to die for us. He DIED. Can you comprehend that? He did absolutely nothing wrong, and yet they crucified Him anyway. He atoned for you and He suffered for EVERYTHING. All of your pains—heartaches, afflictions, wounds, headaches, bumps, bruises, etc.—and all of your worries and stresses and He suffered for your sins. All of them. All the little ones, and all the bigger ones. He bled from every pore of His body sweat like drops of blood. He was in agony. And someone brought this to my attention today: Luke 22: 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. He "prayed more earnestly". What should we do when life gets tough? Get on your knees (if you can) and pray. God doesn't always answer our prayers exactly the minute we demand an answer. Sometimes it takes awhile. But "for those who embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they come" (Elder Holland). Answers and blessings will come. You just have to have faith. I know I'm just a girl from Utah and you're probably going, "Oh, what does she know?" But I am telling you: He will answer you. He will bless you, and He will help you. I promise. I don't know everything about history, or math, or science. I don't know why some people do the things they do. But people are human. We make mistakes. And we are imperfect. But I know that He loves you, regardless of your mistakes. He does not condone the sin, but He loves you and He blesses you and He sends people to you to do His work in His place because He can't personally be here. I know He lives. I know He loves you. I promise He will help you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Today I'm blessed and grateful.

Today I'm grateful for my hallmates. We seriously have the best hall—I'm not kidding. We always have the best time when we get together, and everyone is always smiling, and everyone is so kind to each other. I'm so grateful to be a part of this hall. I love these girls so much and I'm so grateful that I have been able to get to know them.

Today was a special day. I performed in sacrament meeting today, and I was accompanied by two of the girls from my hall (who are two super talented and absolutely gorgeous girls), and I feel so blessed! I was SUPER nervous about singing—all week I was super excited but today, when I saw my name in the program, I swear my heart was going to pound through my chest—and I prayed a LOT this morning that I would be able to sing well and that I would calm down. I feel like I started off kind of weak at first but as we kept going, I grew more confident and I was able to sing strongly, and I felt like I was being supported by angels, and by the end of the song, I felt like I could conquer the world. It was such a spiritual experience and I'm grateful that I got to experience it with my friends. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I had to bear my testimony of the Savior through the song "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul". It's one of my favorites and I'm so grateful for Him and all that He has done and does for me.

I'm grateful for the pioneers, and for my pioneer ancestors.

Currently, I am in the middle of watching 17 Miracles. I love this movie. I also love Ephraim's Rescue. These movies are powerful, powerful videos that show the strength and determination of the pioneers as they traveled to Zion. They also show many, many miracles that happened on their journey. It is such a testimony builder to me. I'm so, so grateful for the pioneers, and for my ancestors. Without their strong testimonies and determination to follow the Lord, I would not be who I am today. I'm so grateful for the brave men, women, and children who marched on. I'm grateful for their sacrifices and their love. I cannot even begin to comprehend how much they had to endure, even after having heard the stories and watched videos depicting what they had to go through. They loved and lost so much. I am so grateful for them. I am so, so grateful, and I am so, so blessed to have been born into the church. I have a testimony of this gospel. I know that Christ lives. I know that He loves me, and I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know that He atoned for our sins and for our afflictions, and pains, and everything that we have had to go through. I know that He is always there with me and that I am never alone. I know that He will always be there for me, and I know that He will always be there for you.

Thank you, veterans.

First off, let me say "thank you" to our veterans! My great-grandpa served in the Army and I'm so glad that I was able to know him because he was a great man. I'm so grateful for all of our veterans' sacrifices. They and their families are definitely angels on earth. God bless their families.

Second, I was blessed as I performed in BYU's Got Talent tonight. I had technical difficulties, which threw off my groove, and my groove also got thrown off around three-quarters of the way into the song, so the last portion of the song is in a lower key than I normally sing it in. Also, I'm normally not even capable of singing those notes, so thanks to my Heavenly Father for sending me His angels to help me sing the correct low notes confidently. :)

What a blessing!

Today I'm grateful for a kind professor I met today.

Story time: I had two tests open this week, and I also have been working on my issues paper for my writing class, so I wasn't able to study as much as I wanted to in order to take my American Heritage test on Monday. Because today was the last day I could take it without paying for it, I was planning on studying for it between classes today and then taking the test after classes. That plan inevitably fell apart this morning when I was heading to a study group for my other test that opens this week (Physical Science, if you really want to know) and halfway to where we were meeting I realized that I forgot my notebook, and I was just like, "NO, let's not deal with that right now." So I went to my study group and afterwards I had a class. That class gets out at 1:20ish, so I was out of the building at like 1:30. Then I was hungry, so I debated and went back and forth, trying to decide if I had time to eat, grab my notebook, study, and finish my reading for my Book of Mormon class. Y'all know how I walk in circles sometimes when I can't decide which way to go? (If you didn't, you do now) Well, I was doing that outside, and I was really frustrated so I kicked a bench, and this professor was walking by, and he was like, "Are you okay?" And I told him I was fine, I was just a little frustrated. GUYS. He stopped to talk to me, and asked me what was wrong, and he offered to pay for my test!!! He was like, "Have you eaten?" And I said no. He said to go eat. And then he gave me his contact information and said, "Let me know when you're going to take your test and I'll pay for it." As I turned around to go to eat in the Wilk, I almost cried because that professor didn't have to do that. Listening to me was all that he needed to do, but he went above and beyond.

Sometimes there are hard days.

I'm not gonna lie: sometimes there are hard days. Sometimes they are really, really, really hard. Sometimes weeks are really hard, too. But I know that God will be there. I know that as long as I do my part, I won't have to do it alone.

Sometimes, the hard days are just emotionally hard. I'm so glad that I can turn to my Heavenly Father for comfort and peace, and that He will assure me that it is going to be okay. I know that He loves me, and I know that He wants what is best for me. Right now, I don't really know what that is. And that is okay. I know that He knows what He is doing, and I know that it will all work out in the end.

I'm grateful for my Savior, and for all that He has done for me. This weekend was kind of emotionally taxing, as you probably know from my previous blog post, but after I turned to my Savior, I was able to feel comfort, and I was able to rest. And I know that He can help me rest when I need it, and I know that He will help me finish whatever I need to get done, and I know that He loves me, and I know that He loves you. And I hope you never forget that I love you, too.

These are just some uplifting pictures that I love and wanted to share with you. :)

Sometimes we just need to remember that we are
children of God and that He loves us no matter what!!

I'm so glad that He is always with me. :)

He is our Lifeguard, and He walks on water.

I realized some things this weekend.

This weekend has been fun! My roommate is gone and so it's been just me and it's been fun. :) (Don't get me wrong though—I love my roommate; she's cool. :) ) Last night I watched Netflix, and snacked on my snacks (duh ;) ), and painted my right toes because I did my left toes on Friday. And I had my door open a bit because it makes me feel less confined. And plus I like to talk to people who walk by. But by like 9 or something I closed my door because it was just making me feel sad because no one was walking by and I just didn't want to be reminded that no one was walking by. When I finally went to bed, I turned on music to sleep to for the first time in a long time (because I don't want to bug my roommate) and I got in bed. And then I started thinking about the lyrics to the music and about the day and I just started crying. I don't know why. But last night was just weird. I liked having time to myself and being by myself but I was by myself from like 4-5:30, and from 7 onward, and I just felt...I don't know. I kinda felt alone and I just really wanted someone to talk to but I felt like no one wanted to talk or hang out. But I remembered God is always there for me. So I went to get a drink (my eyes were super red and I'm so glad that no one came out of the hall at the same time as me) and I felt better and then I went back to bed and fell asleep.

Anyway!! I'm fine now. :) SO I was really looking forward to church today, because people! And we talked about Christlike attributes in Sunday School, and being humble in Relief Society. And I realized that I have to work a little bit on being more humble, and not as prideful. And I realized that I need to work on some things. And maybe that's why I needed to be alone this weekend. Maybe I needed to learn some things about myself and how I can improve and be more Christlike. Whatever the reason that I needed to be alone this weekend, I realized that I'm so not perfect—I already knew that but I realized it so much more this weekend—and I realized that Heavenly Father is always there for me, no matter what. Even if I'm alone. Even if no one talks to me. Even if I hurt. He is there. And I'm so grateful for Him and for my Savior.

P.S. Today, at choir practice, we were practicing for ward conference next week. The song we're singing is "Take Time To Be Holy" and the tune of it is the same tune as "Be Thou My Vision"! And I was super excited because I love that song!! I'm super excited to perform next week. :)

You are precious.

I just wanted to post something today. Don't know why. And I don't know why I thought of this. It's kind of cute and it's very inspiring, in my opinion.

SERVICE is spelled "L-O-V-E"

LOVE is spelled "T-I-M-E" 

TIME is spelled "P-R-E-C-I-O-U-S"

PRECIOUS is spelled "Y-O-U"

As I've been thinking about this cute little poem that I created, I've been thinking: You are so precious to Him, He sends people to serve you, and love you, and spend their precious time with you, a special child of God. That is how much He loves you. That is how much He cares. 

Big time blessings.

Well, today I was blessed BIG time. I was set to register today starting at midnight. Yesterday, I set my alarm for 11:30pm and went to bed. I woke up with a start, checked my clock, and was like "Crap! My alarm didn't go off! It should've gone off!" It was 2:30 AM (I actually don't know how I woke up on my own. I am taking a medication that knocks me out for like eight hours. I should've still been asleep. Thanks, God. :) ). I quickly got up and logged on. My first class was gone! I moved on to the next one. Also gone! Only one of the four class that I originally had planned to take was I able to get. All of my backups were gone, too, and then I just did some hardcore searching. I had to get to 12 credits in order to stay a full-time student. I finally got up to thirteen credits and then I stopped and got ready for work. Later, before American Heritage, I signed up to be on the waiting list for two of the classes that I originally wanted. And back at my dorm I signed up for another class that I had originally wanted, just at a different time. ANYWAY. Long story short: It's all good. :) I am content with my schedule right now–I'm actually really blessed that I was able to get enough credits to stay a full-time student with classes that I'm interested in–and I'll be happy if I am able to get the other classes that I wanted. But if not... I will trust Him.

One step at a time.

During the sacrament today, I was thinking about the Savior and His Atonement. I wrote a poem, kind of:

He did not have to suffer.
He did not have to die.
He could have stopped at any time,
Yet He did not.
He loves us so much He suffered.
He loves us so much He died.
So turn to Him in times of need;
He suffered and died for you.

Today in Relief Society, we talked about perfecting ourselves, and putting on the armor of God. One of the girls in my hall shared a quote by Elder Ballard, and I loved this part: "True spiritual power lies in numerous smaller acts woven together in a fabric of spiritual fortification that protects and shields from all evil." That reminds me of the scripture in 2nd Nephi, "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little." (2nd Nephi 28:30). It's easier to take things one step at a time, especially because we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. Sometimes I think we feel like we have to be perfect right now, and that it can't wait. It doesn't always happen all at once. But if you take things slowly—one step at a time—and work with the Lord, it'll be easier. It'll still be hard, but it won't be so hard. :)

 

He trusts you, and He loves you.

I've been thinking about this for a little while, but I really thought about it a lot today during the sacrament. Sometimes the Lord just trusts us to do the right thing. He knows we can do it, and He knows we know the right decision. Sometimes He just lets us drive, but He'll take the wheel when needed.

Today in sacrament meeting, the topic was personal conversion. There are a few steps to personal conversion:
1. We have to want it.
2. We have to become humble, and get rid of our pride.
3. We have to study the Gospel–quality study, not quantity study.
4. We need to pray. About everything, but especially to have the Spirit in our lives.
5. We need to sacrifice. We need to fix our sins (as best we can; we're not perfect) and make good habits.

Conversion is becoming someone of the Gospel, and acting on your testimony.

You can't know the goodness unless you experience it or practice it.

It's called personal conversion. You have to do it for yourself. No one else can do it for you.

A testimony is personal knowledge of spiritual truth, while personal conversion is applying the knowledge of the Gospel.

You have to be persistent and patient, because it won't happen all at once.


I know that personal conversion is a lifelong journey, and I know that, with the Lord's help, you can become converted. I know that God trusts us enough to let us take the reigns because sometimes we can only learn what we need to learn if we make the decision by ourselves. He trusts us more than we trust ourselves. I know that He trusts you and He loves you. I also know that He will be there to catch us if we fall; He won't let us fall. He is always there to help us because He loves us so much. He also sends us people when we need them or their influence in our lives. Jesus Christ won't ever leave us alone because He knows our pains and sorrows and afflictions, and He knows how it feels to be alone, and He won't let us be alone. He won't leave you alone. He won't let you be alone.
I can't stress that enough: He won't let you be alone.

He loves you so much. Don't forget that. <3 <3

We need to do our part.

God can't help you if you don't act. Faith is an action—trusting in God is an action. It's so important for us to trust in Him, but we also have to realize that we need to do our part. We can't just pray and say, "I need help getting this thing done," and then sit there and do nothing. We have to do our part and work and He will help us get through it or get it done. But we have to do our part. He will help us as long as we do our part. You have to trust in Him and do your part; His help and aid will come. I know I've been saying "do our part" and variations thereof a lot, but it's what we need to do. The Lord expects us to pull our own weight as far as we can and He will help the rest of the way.

This is kind of random, but it also kind of fits a little. As a wise friend of mine recently said (and I'm paraphrasing here; she said it way better), sometimes you have to give some good things up for better things. 

Repentance is a choice, and repentance is change.

Today I had the privilege of going to two of my friends' missionary farewells. They gave such great talks!! I'm so excited for them! They are going to be amazing missionaries and I can't wait to see how much they've grown and changed when they come back in a year and a half. 

One of my friends talked about repentance, and I just found this really good quote about repentance and God's love for us:

"Though we disregard His counsel, break His commandments, and reject Him, when we recognize our mistakes and desire to repent, He wants us to seek Him out and He will accept us" (God's Love for Us Transcends Our Transgressions, Ronald E. Poelman, April 1982 General Conference). 

Sometimes I think we think that's it's so crazy that God can still love us, even after all the sins we've done and mistakes we've made. That reminds me of this scripture in 2nd Nephi:

20 And now, my brethren, I have spoken plainly that ye cannot err. And as the Lord God liveth that brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt, and gave unto Moses power that he should heal the nations after they had been bitten by the poisonous serpents, if they would cast their eyes unto the serpent which he did raise up before them, and also gave him power that he should smite the rock and the water should come forth; yea, behold I say unto you, that as these things are true, and as the Lord God liveth, there is none other name given under heaven save it be this Jesus Christ, of which I have spoken, whereby man can be saved. (2 Nephi 25:20)

I know that repentance isn't that easy, but it does take effort–just like the effort the nations needed to take. All they had to do to be healed was to look on the serpent that Moses "did raise up before them". Heavenly Father wants us to turn to Him, and to trust in Him. All we have to do is to turn to Him. Repentance is a choice that we have to consciously make. Elder Neil L. Andersen said that, "When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God" (Repent... That I May Heal You, October 2009 General Conference). Repentance is "re-turning" to God. Yes, repentance isn't easy, and it takes effort, but I know that it is more than worth it. It has brought me feelings of love, acceptance, peace, and understanding beyond anything I ever could have imagined. It has changed my life when I needed help to change, and it has helped me to heal when I so desperately needed healing. I am so grateful for my Savior and for His sacrifice for me. I would not be who I am today without Him and without His Atonement.

He will always help you in His own time.

Today was Stake Conference. It was so good!! They mostly had students address us, but they did have one of the stake councilors, a stake Relief Society advisor, and our stake president speak.

President Bahme talked about The Book of Mormon, and he addressed several scriptures from it:
1st Nephi 3:7–He said to never, ever quit. The Lord will help you succeed. Heavenly Father doesn't give us commandments that we can't keep without His help or the help of others.
Mosiah 3:19–The natural man is an enemy to God. Don't be deceived by those who follow the natural man.
Ether 12:27–If we humble ourselves, God will show us our weaknesses and make them strengths.

Brother Maximo Acevedo:

He talked about a couple of different things that we can do to help hasten the work of salvation:
1. Principle of understanding. President Boyd K. Packer said, "True doctrine understood changes attitudes and behavior." If they don't understand how it applies to them, it has no meaning for them. Maximo said that we have to be simple and clear. We have to help others see how the gospel can help and apply to them.
2. Reaching out to family. The Lord uses families to share the gospel. Through our families He can help us live and share the gospel. Maximo said that we have to reach out to our family. "Never can I repay thee Lord. But I can love thee." (My words here –>) We show our love for Him by sharing His gospel and loving our family and friends. 

Sister Cienna Herlihy:
She talked about her conversion story, and she said that Heavenly Father will always answer your prayers. Maybe not in the way that you expected or wanted, but it will always be in the way that you needed.

Brother Sam Clough:
He talked about his conversion story, too. He had a friend who was a really good example to him. He said that they (meaning the Mormons) had happiness. Not like watching Netflix happiness, but they had joy. He said when he was taking the discussions and going to church, they treated him like a friend. They made the decision up to him and didn't push it. What makes us happy is living with Christlike attributes. "You've got all of the gear, but none of the game." We have what we need; what are you going to do with it?

Sister Emma Rose Phipps:
She talked about the Sabbath Day. She said that the Sabbath isn't about limiting what you do; it's more about doing right. 

Elder Russell M. Nelson, in the April 2015 conference, said, "I studied the work of others who had compiled lists of things to do and things not to do on the Sabbath. It wasn’t until later that I learned from the scriptures that my conduct and my attitude on the Sabbath constituted a sign between me and my Heavenly Father. With that understanding, I no longer needed lists of dos and don’ts." He asked the question, "What sign do I want to give to God?"

She said that the Sabbath Day is so important to help us draw nearer to God.

Sister T.K. Plant:
She is the Relief Society advisor for one of the other wards. She talked about the Sacrament. The sacrament helps us mend, renew, and restore our baptismal covenants. Without His Atonement, there would be no power in the Sacrament. She said we need to understand three things:
1. History. The passover is the sacrifice of a spotless lamb. The week of the passover, Christ (who was perfect and spotless of sin) was sacrificed and crucified.
2. Covenant. The sacrament prayers remind us of our covenants. We are witnessing to God that we are taking on His name. Since we take on His name, our actions reflect on Him.
3. Promise. "Bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it that they may always have His spirit to be with them." It is this that changes us little by little.
Covenants allow us to transcend the natural man. As we progress in our diligence, we will be prepared for eternal life. Christ had nothing to gain in His sacrifice. (My words –>) He just loved us so much that He would do anything for us–even die.

President James Rasband:
He is the stake president. I absolutely LOVED his talk!!!!

If things haven't gone right, it's okay. Everything we do is harder at first. It's always harder the first time. If you stay at it, things will come–you'll improve. No matter how much you grow, though, there is always room to improve. "Trust the Savior and His love." No matter how many times you've fallen, Christ's hand remains outstretched. He used an example of parallel parking. It's always embarrassing when you fail the first time, and there are people all around you, watching you not do so hot in parallel parking. You're embarrassed and you drive away to find an easier parking spot. This is like our life. Our perspective is very different from the Lord's. He only cares that we're trying. He knows as long as we keep trying, we'll get the car parked. You'll get there–just keep at it. No one else is there on that whole street–it's just you. Just keep trying. The Lord will be there. It's okay if things take a little bit of time. It takes time to develop ourselves into who the Lord wants us to be. [I especially loved that he mentioned Physical Science 100 and American Heritage because I am taking both of those classes and they're sometimes a struggle. But that's okay. I just have to keep trying. :)]

I know that Heavenly Father will always help us. I know that life is sometimes really hard, but I know that He will not leave you alone; He will help you, and He will send you angels from beyond the veil and on this earth to help you in your times of need. I know that He answers your prayers in His own time. I know that by making the Sabbath a delight, you are showing Him that you love Him and respect Him and want to draw nearer to Him. I know that the sacrament is the most important part of sacrament meeting, and that it is a reminder to us of our covenants to the Lord, and of His promise to us as we keep our covenants. I know that it's okay if things don't work out. I know that the Lord will be there to help, and I know that if you keep trying, it'll get better. You'll get better and it will work out. :)

General Conference weekend. :)

It's General Conference weekend!!!!! I have absolutely LOVED this weekend!!!! We got three new apostles, and we miss President Boyd K. Packer, Elder L. Tom Perry, and Elder Richard G. Scott, but we welcome Elders Ronald A. Rasband, Gary E. Stevenson, and Dale G. Renlund. There have been so many great messages this weekend that I needed to hear!! 

Here are just a few of my favorite quotes:

"Exaltation is our goal. Discipleship is our journey." ~~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Direction is ever more important than our speed." ~~Elder Larry R. Lawrence

"Self-control is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets." ~~Elder Quentin L. Cook

"Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are." ~~Elder Jeffrery R. Holland

"None of us marry perfection. We marry potential." ~~Elder Rober D. Hales

"There is no darkness so dense, so menacing, or so difficult that it cannot be overcome by light." ~~Elder Vern P. Stanfill

"Christ was sent to heal the broken hearted." ~~Elder Dallin H. Oaks

"Only when we see through Heavenly Father's eyes can we be filled with the pure love of Christ." ~~Elder Dale G. Renlund

"No choice, sin, or mistake will change His love." ~~Elder Ronald A. Rasband

"God's ultimate purpose is our progress." "Repentance is individual. But fellowship...is in the church." (I paraphrased that last quote there) ~~Elder D. Todd Christofferson

"Small efforts sustained over time can produce significant results." ~~Brother Devin G. Durrant

"Don't be too critical of the barrier. It's the only thing keeping you from being devoured." ~~Elder Von G. Keetch

"Trust God. Trust Jesus. Trust the whisperings of the Spirit. Trust the counsel of living prophets." ~~Sister Carole M. Stephens

"Repentance is real, and it works." ~~Elder Allen D. Haynie

I have loved all of the messages given this weekend!! I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to watch conference and to listen to and learn from our Latter-day prophets. It is always a blessing to hear their words, especially when their words are desperately needed by me. I am so grateful to be a member of this church!!!  

Xoxo

Mattie

I'm so blessed.

This week, for my weekly quote, I decided to keep last week's quote up but I also added a little different one. "Life is so good." Because, really, life is so good. I am so blessed. Even though I hate the hours, I'm glad that I have a job. I am also glad that I am able to go to school here at BYU, where so many people have the same standards as I do. I'm glad that I have been making lots of friends, even though sometimes it's hard and drags me kicking and screaming out of my comfort zone. ;) I'm so glad that there are so many great examples out here! I've had many awesome examples of righteousness in my life, and I'm just so glad that it can continue here at college. This is where I've always wanted to go, but I also know that this is where I'm meant to be. 

Xoxo

Mattie

He loves you so much.

Today was such a good meeting!! In testimony meeting, everyone kept talking about how Christ will always be there for you and He will always love you. Another repeated topic was that, "I use the Atonement every single day." One of my friends said in her testimony today, "If Christ is not the center of your life, what is?" That really struck me, and I feel like someone needs to hear it. Make the necessary adjustments so that He is the center of your life, and your life will realign itself and be easier to bear–it won't be easy, but it will be easier if He is the center of your life. <3

In Relief Society, we talked about the Sacrament, and how it is a gift from God, and a time to reflect on the past week, and think about what we can do in the upcoming week to be better. We also talked about how our thoughts, actions, and choices should emulate Christ. We talked about how the Atonement is there for us, even if we don't use it. He has already paid the price–He sacrificed His life so that you could return to live with our Heavenly Father–the least we can do is accept Him and not let His sacrifice be in vain. <3

I know that He lives. I know that He loves us, and I know that He is always there for you, and that He will always send you the things, people, and experiences you need (to grow stronger, and to comfort and love you) when you need them. I know this because I know that He knows me, and I know that He knows YOU. 

I am so grateful for Him, and for His sacrifice, and His love, and His blessings. I know that I will be blessed as I follow Him and try to become more like Him in every way. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Today was kind of hard. But that's okay.

So, as the title says, today was kind of hard. But that's okay. Hard times make me stronger (though, I'm going to be honest, sometimes I wish I could become stronger in other ways). This morning was super fun–I went to rehearsal today and, though some of the pieces are challenging, I am excited. It's going to be so much fun!! Plus, I love spending time with my friend. :) After rehearsal, though, I was just so overwhelmed. I have a nature experience proposal due in Biology on Monday and I have absolutely NO idea what to do. It has been bothering me all day, and it is what has made today hard (that, plus the fact that my shoulders/back are super sore for who-knows-why and are killing me). But I was really looking forward to the General Women's Broadcast tonight. :) I was super excited!! I was not disappointed!! It was such a great session! I loved it! I am so excited for General Conference next weekend!! There were SO many good messages spoken that I needed to hear!!!

Sister Rosemary M. Wixom said:

Life is a gift, and God has a plan for each of us.

Our divine nature comes from God.

Because you are His child, He knows who you can become.

I love this. This is such a great reminder that we are His, and He has a plan for us, and all that we have been blessed with comes from Him. <3

Sister Linda S. Reeves said:

We will be blessed if we exercise faith in our Father and go to Him.

The reward is so great, so eternal...

As we keep our lives pure and clean...we will one day receive all that the Father hath.

I love this! We will be blessed as we keep His commandments–I love that she got emotional as she talked about how, when we see the Father in Heaven, we will be amazed at how awesome the reward is, and how all we had to do was get through our trials that seem extremely hard now, but, in the end, will be nothing compared to the reward. <3

Sister Carol F. McConkie said:

We must love one another and see in one another the beauty of the soul.

In the strength of the Lord we can do all things.

We repent so that we may be better.

"In this cause [FYI, she said that "we are here to serve a righteous cause"] we are all valued. We are all needed. The righteous cause we serve is the cause of Christ. It is the work of salvation."

I love this. I can't even add anything to it. <3

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

He told a story about a young girl who visited her Great-Aunt Rose over the summer while the girl's mother recovered from a surgery. These are some of the things he said as he told the story:

If we trust Him, we can find the brighter, happier things in life.

The best things take patience and work.

Brooding and worrying makes it worse. (this stood out to me in particular. <3 <3 <3)

God didn't design us to be sad. He created us to have joy.

Now is part of eternity. 

Faith will fortify every step of the way.

I love President Uchtdorf! This was such a good talk! I loved the story! Such a cute story, and very relatable. <3 <3

I absolutely LOVED this session!!!! God is watching out for me and He knows exactly what I need. <3 <3 <3 Can't wait for next weekend!!!

Xoxo
Mattie

Blessings.

I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father. This week, my quote is, "You are beautiful, capable, and strong. <3" and I've really needed that this week. It's been a tough one, and I still have two days left! I'm going to the health center tomorrow morning after work because my throat hurts when I swallow and my cough has gotten worse than it was (which was just coughing when I laughed, but this past week it has gotten a little worse). I hope it's nothing too serious!! I just started in the a cappella club at BYU and I really don't want to have something bad happen to my throat!! Please pray for me to feel better and to go back to full health soon. I know that I was inspired to create that quote this week for a reason. God loves me and He loves you and I hope you remember that. 

Xoxo

Mattie

Quotes of the week, trials, forgiveness.

HEY!! So, I have been trying to have a quote of the week every week on my white board. The first week's quote was, "Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith." ~Pres. Thomas S. Monson. The second week it was, "Music makes me really happy." Last week's quote was, "Find your dream and follow your heart." This week's quote is "You are beautiful, capable, and strong. <3" I am loving this quote thing! The first week I found a quote, but all the other weeks I have come up with the quotes! It's a great reminder during the week to be happy/positive. Plus, it's been fun to make a quote look cutesy on my white board. :)

School is going as well as school goes, I guess. ;) But I'm not dying because of a homework overload [yet ;)]. 

(The following are out of order, but that's okay.)

Today in Relief Society we got our visiting teaching assignments. I am excited to get to know these girls better! Also!! I was set apart today. I am a Compassionate Service Leader. :) I'm really excited to be serving the girls in my hall!! 

Today we talked a lot about following the prophets in sacrament meeting, and how President Monson is the mouthpiece of the Lord, and we will be blessed if we listen to him. 

In Gospel Doctrine, we talked about overcoming tribulation, as well as forgiveness and forgiving others. Overcoming tribulation: Through our suffering, we become stronger and closer to God as we rely on Christ. Someone said something very poignant as we talked about forgiving others. She said, "Do what's best for the other." And I love that. It's better for them if you forgive them; and, in the end, forgiving them will bring you peace. Sophia said that "There is no peace in reflecting on old wounds." This all applies to forgiving others, yes, but we also shouldn't forget to forgive ourselves! I don't know about you, but I always have the hardest time forgiving myself. But it's true: there is no peace in reflecting on old wounds. If you can't let go and forgive yourself, it just makes it harder for you to live in the present, and for you to move on with your life. 

You have to learn to let go with the help of Jesus Christ. That's the only way to bring you the peace you need. He will help you heal, and He will help you be able to forgive whom you need to forgive. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Multi-Regional Stake Conference.

Today was the Multi-Stake Regional Conference. It was so good!! I was able to attend at the Marriott Center, and it was sooo packed!!! There were tons of people who didn't get to go in because it was so full. There were a lot of great messages shared today, so I'm just going to talk about a few of my favorites. :)

Bishop Davies talked about patterns in the scriptures and in our lives. He said if we read the Book of Mormon, those who ask about it in faith will get an answer. He also said that reading the BoM will bring to you an understanding and peace of mind.

Sister Burton talked about how we show the Lord that we honor Him and keep His Sabbath day holy. She said that there are many different ways that families have decided that they will try and keep the Sabbath day holy. She said that Sister Stevens (of the Primary General Presidency) said that she tried to prepare for the Sabbath on Saturday. There was a family who tried to focus on the sacrament, before, during, and after the sacrament, throughout the whole week. They would pick something to think about during the sacrament and then they would talk about it at home.

President Hallstrom talked about who is hastening the work of salvation. The answer is the Lord is hastening His work in His own time–He may be using us, but He is the one who is hastening it. He also said that Satan is hastening his work, too, and that we cannot be saved without effort on our part.

Elder Ballard's talk was wonderful! He talked about how our contributions are significant and important. He talked about maintaining healthy [spiritual] practices/habits, like sincere daily prayers, regular scripture study, and worshiping in the temple. He also talked about how it's okay to ask questions, and that we need to help others answer their own questions–it's also okay if we don't have all the answers. :)

It was such a wonderful session!! I'm really excited for General Conference in a couple of weeks. :)

OH! And I'm going to be going home to visit later this afternoon. I'm kind of excited. :)

Xoxo
Mattie

Fragile.

People are fragile. Mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically.

Fragility is a delicate thing (how ironic). Some people don't like to let others know that they're fragile, or that they're hurting, or that something is wrong.

People want to be (or at least appear to be) strong. This results in people not always telling the truth to the questions "Are you okay?"; "How are you?"; and "Did you have a good day?", etc. Sometimes it's because you're not explaining what's wrong. (I admit that I, too, have been guilty of this a time or two)

But: 

"It's not about your scars 

It's all about your heart" 

(All About Your Heart, Mindy Gledhill)

We all have scars. But that's all they are: they're scars--meaning they've healed over. What matters is your heart—what's on the inside. I know sometimes we are delicate around certain scar subjects, and that's okay, but you need to know that it's okay to have scars. It's okay to have stories. Without your scars, you wouldn't be who you are today, and—because of that—other people wouldn't be who they are today and so on. 

Just know this:

You

Are

Important

Now and forever. 

There is nothing to be ashamed about in having scars. It's completely normal. I have some scars and yeah, it's hard. Definitely. Especially because it's not something I really talk about. But the experience has made me a stronger person—a better person. 

And guess what? God loves you no matter what. And I love you, too. That's the way it's always going to be. If you really are scared, turn to Him. He's there to help you and to heal you. <3

He loves you.

During the sacrament today, I just kept thinking about the fact that Jesus Christ died for us, but He also died for me. He suffered for me. If I had been the only person on earth, He still would have suffered and died for me. He loves us that much. No matter what you do, He will always love you. You can always turn to Him. He will never leave you, nor will He turn you away. He loves you so much. He loves you so much that He will send you people when you need them! He loves you so much that He will bless you beyond anything you've ever imagined.

Today was fast and testimony meeting, and a lot of people repeated the phrase, "I know we're here for a reason." It was just reassuring to me to know that I am in the right place, and there's a reason why I'm here. I don't know the reason yet, but there is a reason. One of the guys who bore his testimony said that, "It's our choice." It's always our choice–we're all adults and it's our choice as to whether or not we go to church, or go to class, or do our homework. It's our choice, but we don't get to choose the consequences of our actions. 

Sabrina (my roommate) and I gave a lesson in Gospel Doctrine (my first lesson ever), and we talked about switch points in our lives, and how they can change our lives. President Hinckley gave a story about switch points:

"Many years ago I worked in the head office of one of our railroads. One day I received a telephone call from my counterpart in Newark, New Jersey, who said that a passenger train had arrived without its baggage car. The patrons were angry. We discovered that the train had been properly made up in Oakland, California, and properly delivered to St. Louis, from which station it was to be carried to its destination on the east coast. But in the St. Louis yards, a thoughtless switchman had moved a piece of steel just three inches. That piece of steel was a switch point, and the car that should have been in Newark, New Jersey, was in New Orleans, Louisiana, thirteen hundred miles away” (Elder Gordon B. Hinckley in Conference Report, Oct. 1972, 106–7; or Ensign, Jan. 1973, 91)

We talked about a lot of things that can be switch points in our lives, like the relationship between you and your spouse and God, the Sacrament, Spiritual Gifts, and the Resurrection and the three degrees of glory, and how they can be positive or negative switch points in our lives. It's amazing how a few inches (in the case of President Hinckley's story) or a small event/action in our lives can change it, for better or for worse. It was a really good lesson; there was a lot of participation, which was great. :)

I just want you to remember this:

He

     Loves 

           You

I know that He loves you. I know that He will always love you. I know that He will bless you and send those that you need to you when you need them. I know that, as you pray and read your scriptures, and begin to serve others, you will be able to feel His love more. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Reading-heavy classes.

All right...First two days are done! Seems like my classes are going to be fun (except maybe American Heritage but we'll see). They have a lot of reading...which normally is okay, but I think all of my classes will require a lot of outside reading. Wish me luck–that's a lot of reading.

ON the plus side: my teachers are really fun :)

And work is going good...except for me being up before the sun even realizes that it needs to be up in a few hours.

I am missing my friends and close peeps, but I am meeting a lot of new people :)

This is going to be such a fun semester!! :)

I know that God will help me keep up with my homework as long as I do my part. Time management might be a little difficult the first couple of days, but I know that I can do it! :)

"Sometimes all you need is a sincere smile." ~Mattie Radke

Xoxo
Mattie

I can do this.

Hi guys!!!

So, today I had church at my new ward...It was a little weird because there were no little kids, and it was very quiet during sacrament meeting, which was strange. In Relief Society we talked about how the young women's program was to help us grow and develop personally, and Relief Society is about helping other people. We said the young women's theme and it made me miss home but I enjoyed the lesson and am excited for this opportunity to learn and grow with other sisters my own age and in my own hall. :)

There are a lot of great girls in my ward, and I'm excited to get to know them. :) I haven't really met any of the guys yet, but I am excited to get to know my ward. 

My friend said that I should take the opportunity to enjoy the quiet sacrament meetings and I will...It was just a little odd because I'm so used to it being noisy during the meeting.

I start my job tomorrow, and I also start my classes tomorrow. Wish me luck!!! I'm super nervous, but I know that the Lord will help me.

It might take me a couple weeks, but I know that I can do this. I can do this. It'll be a little difficult at first, but I can do it. 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)

Forget not that the Lord loves you (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", Oct. 2011).

Xoxo
Mattie