All we can do.

Happy November! Life is flying by. School is keeping me busy, that's for sure!

Today in Relief Society, we talked about President Oaks' talk from this last General Conference entitled Following Christ.

When I was reading the talk prior to the Relief Society discussion, I really liked President Oaks' opening paragraph, where he says, "Following Christ is not a casual or occasional practice. It is a continuous commitment and way of life that should guide us at all times and in all places."

This talk was really beautiful--not only the message but the way it was written and given. 

President Oaks continues his talk by discussing the two great commandments given to us by the Lord: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

President Oaks goes on to talk about how God's commandments "provide the guiding and steadying force in our lives." He talks about a boy and his dad who go fly a kite, and as the kite rises, it tugs on the string in the boy's hand, and he asks his dad if they could cut the string to let the kite fly higher. His father--gently, I'm sure--said no and explained that the string was necessary for the kite to be able to fly. Without it, the kite would be carried away and eventually crash to the ground.

The kite string represents our covenants with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. President Oaks says, "As we honor those covenants by keeping Their commandments and following Their plan of redemption, Their promised blessings enable us to soar to celestial heights."

I loved this analogy! Our covenants with God, our promise to follow His commandments--they are necessary to help keep us flying and progressing forward. 

President Oaks also talks about toxic communication, which is very prevalent today, especially because of social media. He quotes 3 Nephi 11:29-30, which says, "He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away."

As we were discussing President Oaks' talk, I couldn't help but think of the times that I was not a follower of Christ in my language, in the way I perceived others, or in the way that I conducted myself or even thought of myself. At first, I felt ashamed, but then I felt grateful that it was Sunday and that I had just partaken of the sacrament and renewed my covenants with my Father. I am not perfect, and I fall short every day, but I am grateful for the blessing and gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which gives me the opportunity to repent not only every week but every day of my life.

All we can ever do is strive to be better today than we were yesterday. And Nephi taught, "For we know that it is by grace that we are saved after all we can do." (2 Nephi 25:23).

I hope everyone has a beautiful week. I am grateful for a loving Father in Heaven and for the blessings He has given me. 

Xoxo

Mattie

New understandings.

Can't believe this week IS IT! This is my LAST WEEK OF COLLEGE!

This week, I have been struggling to focus on school. I'm just so ready to be done and I am very anxious for my finals. But I think that everything will be okay in the end.

I did a lot of pondering during church today. It was pretty therapeutic, and I am grateful for some of the thoughts that I had.

My life is my life, and God has a unique plan for me.

There was this quote that I saw on Facebook that I loved:

I had never thought about it in that way before. There are things I need to learn right now...and I need to learn them by myself. As I am waiting, I can learn to have more faith. I can have a stronger character. And I can keep hoping. It's so hard sometimes. It's really hard, actually. Sometimes I'm okay with life...and sometimes I get really sad about it. It's hard to remember that my worth is constant, and solely based on the fact that I am a child of God. It's hard to remember that I am a PERSON first. It's hard to see what kinds of things I might need to learn right now. It's hard to see what kinds of things I have to give to the world. 

It's also sometimes hard to remember I don't need to have anything specific to be happy. I get to CHOOSE whether or not I am happy every day. I need to remember to turn to my Savior and lean on Him. And sometimes it's difficult. My depression and anxiety don't always help. I think that I need to focus on my testimony right now. And my mental health. It is okay for me to feel sad. But I can't let it overwhelm me. I can't let my sadness get to me. I have to be patient. 

It's kinda funny...right as I was writing about having to be patient, the second speaker in sacrament meeting was starting his talk, which was about...PATIENCE. 

While he was talking, I kept thinking about a lot of different things that I need to work on. I think that I need to gain a new understanding of patience and work on it. I also need to figure out what "trusting the Lord" means to me. 

One important thing that I was thinking about was how I need to make time to go to the temple each week. I can't not go. It drives me crazy when I don't go. I receive more peace, understanding, and blessings when I go and I am able to realign my views on life. I know that this will bless me because when I was going every week earlier this year, my life was better. My life is better with the Gospel–it's better with the temple, and it's better with the Lord.

I'm very excited to be done with school this week! I am excited to begin working full-time at the daycare! I love the kiddos so much and am so grateful for all the things that they teach me! 

Happy Sunday! Have a great week! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

There is a time and a season for all things.

This past week has been really rough as I have been getting back into my schoolwork and my jobs while still trying to take things easy as I'm healing from my appendectomy. It's been a lot harder than I thought it would be. But not only have my friends, family, employers, and teachers been so loving and understanding, so has my Heavenly Father.

I went to the temple with a friend yesterday, and I had an amazing time, as always. I got to do some sealings for some of my ancestors, and it was the first time I have done sealings before. It was really amazing! I can't even imagine how happy they must be to be sealed to their parents! One of my favorite things that I kept hearing as he was doing all of the ordinances was the part where it said something like, "it is as if you were born in the covenant" and I thought that that was so beautiful. There is no difference between being born in the covenant and being sealed into the covenant. I loved that. 💜

Afterwards, we went to sit in the celestial room for a bit, and I was praying really hard for an answer to something that has been on my mind for many, many months. How to be happy where I am. And how to see and find my purpose. These are a few questions that I have been wrestling with for a long time. It has been difficult for me to find the answers to these.

After we left the celestial room and headed out to get changed, I sat for a second and wrote down some of my thoughts. In the past, when I have gone to do baptisms, I usually take a notebook and sit in the chapel and write some of my thoughts before I head home. Usually, I just put my pen to the paper and the words just flow. I have no real conscious thought of what I'm writing, and I know that what I am writing is what God wants me to know and remember. Anyway, I did that yesterday and wanted to share my thoughts because I think it's important. 

There is a time and a season for all things. It is my season of single-hood right now but that does not mean that I am anything less. I am a whole daughter of God looking for a whole partner. I'm not a half daughter of God looking for someone to complete me. I am already complete.

My favorite lines are 'there is a time and a season for all things' and 'I am already complete'. I feel like these two concepts are something that I have been struggling with for a long time, and I think it is a little ironic that they are the answers to one of my prayers. I am grateful, however, that I was able to receive this inspiration. It's a good reminder to me that I am already whole. I am already complete. I am already good enough. I don't need someone to complete me.

It's also a good reminder that life is about change and growth. There is a time and a season for all things. Unless you live in Utah, typically there are 3-ish or so months per season. There is a time for spring. A time for summer. Fall. And winter. Sometimes I feel like school has been my season of winter 🤣 and I am so ready for spring! 🌺 But I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had to go to school, and to get an education. I am grateful for the growth and learning that I have gained and received, and I am grateful for the chance that I have had to study at Brigham Young University. It has been an amazing blessing, and I have met so many amazing people that I am glad to call my friends!

While I was sitting in sacrament meeting today, I was just writing and writing in my notebook, and I wrote a few things that I wanted to share. One of them was, "Everything happens for a reason, and God knows why. So I have to trust Him. I have to trust that I am where I am for a reason. I have to trust that I am who I am for a reason. As I make time for the scriptures, and for my relationship with the Lord, I will be blessed, and I will feel peace." I know that this is true. I know that I can learn and grow in all of the challenges and trials in my life.

The last thing is this:

Find joy in the journey.
Find the positive.
Find my purpose. 

Give my all.
Give my heart.
Give my time.
REMEMBER HIM.

Life will always be hard. There will always be challenges. There will always be trials. God will always ask us to do things that we don't always want to do. But I know that they will help us grow. I probably won't always entirely know the reason why things do or don't happen in this life, but I know that God always knows why. And that is enough for me. Because even when I forget, and even when I am struggling, He always knows why things happen. And He sends me beautiful little reminders every day that things will all be okay. 

Xoxo
Mattie

God loves. So I love.

What a week! It's been really crazy, and yet, overall it's been really great, and so easy. This semester has–for the most part–not been super stressful, which I appreciate greatly. Especially considering next semester might be slightly more crazy, especially if I end up taking as many credits as I have sitting in my cart currently (which is 18, fun fact).

I had the opportunity to go to the temple yesterday with my friend and it was absolutely the best thing!! It was exactly what I needed! I love going to the temple, and I especially love hanging out with my friends! Yesterday was like the best day ever! I got a lot of stuff done and I just felt really, really great! I'm so pumped for this week even though I've got like two tests opening on Thursday.

I have been on a social media fast for the last seven days, and I still have three more to go, but honestly, it has been the BIGGEST BLESSING in my life!!! That kind of shocked me, actually! I am absolutely in love with social media, and in keeping up with my friends and family, but these past seven days have been so wonderful! I've been more focused and on top of things. I also never thought that I would be able to actually do a social media fast, I love it so much. But I did! I'm so proud of myself!!

In the midst of my social media fast, I have filled my time with:

• homework
• scripture study
• listening to the Spirit
• communicating with my friends and family via text or in person
• going to the temple
• focusing on myself
• figuring out some of my goals for the school year
• realizing my potential, my purpose, and what I have to offer the world

Now, I'm not saying that I don't do those things when I am not on a social media fast, but sometimes it is a bit harder to do. I am excited to see where not only the rest of the semester takes me, but the rest of the school year! I have a lot of exciting plans for the next several months and I can't wait to see what happens! After my social media fast is over, I have decided that I still want to implement some aspects of the social media fast. I want to only go on at certain times of the day for a certain amount of time, and only if I do not have any major projects or assignments to do. I honestly spend SO MUCH of my time on social media. It's honestly a problem, and I've always known that, but this social media fast has really opened my eyes to 1) how bad it is, and 2) how I can overcome it.

God knows my heart. He knows how much good I have in me. And He knows what I have needed to help me realize my worth and potential. 

I have been thinking for about a year and a half about going through the temple, but I have had some things in my life that have made it hard for me to feel worthy, even though I have repented. This summer, as most of you know, I had the amazing opportunity to go work at a scout camp up at Bear Lake! Up until this social media fast, it was the biggest blessing in my life (though it honestly still is one of the biggest blessings in my life) because I grew so much this summer!! I absolutely loved being up at Bear Lake, even though work was crazy, I was always tired, and I didn't always feel like I got enough people interaction. 

ANYWAY.

The point of that little segue was this: while at Bear Lake this summer, I tried to focus on myself, and my relationship with God, and forgiving myself. And it worked. By the end of the summer, I finally felt like I could forgive myself, and I felt like I was finally starting to hear God speak to me again! I was elated and couldn't be happier! I felt like it wasn't quite so dark in my life anymore.

I had about three weeks from the time I got home to the time I had to go back to school, and I was SO excited to go back to school! I couldn't wait to get learning and finish up my college career and GRADUATE! Ah! I couldn't stand it. Finally, the semester started! I was still feeling good and thinking about going through the temple, but it wasn't entirely the focus on my mind anymore. I had started seeing this guy and was really excited about getting to know him more. In addition to that, I had many projects to work on for school. 

There came a point in the middle of September when I was starting to question (as I often do) my purpose in this life, and what I am here for. I never understand it, I feel like, but sometimes I question if I even have a purpose.

In the week before General Conference, I had a prompting to send some inspiring messages to some of my friends, and as I pondered messages to send, I couldn't help but hope that I wasn't crazy and that what I sent them was actually what they needed. Turns out, God is all knowing! And somehow I sent them exactly what they needed.

Remember that guy I was seeing? Well, after about a month and a half, the relationship ended. I was devastated, but couldn't wait for conference to start the next morning so I could feel God's love. I was hoping for answers for some things that I was thinking about–including going through the temple. And in the first talk, I received some answers. Eagerly I awaited each talk, and somehow, I found something in every. single. talk. That answered one of my questions. Even questions I hadn't written down.

And as for the questions that I struggle with daily: Am I really needed here on earth? Is there something I can do even though I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life as a career? Is there something I can do to help me not feel useless, and to help me realize my potential? Do I have a purpose right now, and even after now? 

I did have a purpose!! God needs disciples, and I am one of His disciples!! God needs people to minister to His children, and love them, and I am one of His ministers! I am someone who loves His children deeply! 

I give something to this world that no one else does: I give undying, endless love and compassion. No one loves like I do.

By the end of conference, I was feeling so, so loved, and I was feeling so warm and happy, and grateful. I realized that I am worthy enough to start preparing to go through the temple, and I realized that not only do I have a purpose in this life, but I am loved, too. I am loved by so many people. I realized that right now, what I need is to focus on my testimony, and my spiritual preparation and journey to go through God's holy temple. I needed to focus on ministering to those around me, and making sure that they know that they are loved. 

In this last week, I have received many more answers about other questions and goals that I have, and I am feeling good about going forward. 

I have been deeply afraid of a lot of things recently...but one of the lessons I have really learned and come to understand lately is this: God gives peace and comfort. And God knows you. He knows what you need, and He is always trying to help you understand what you need, and what He needs you to do. 

Today in Relief Society we learned about not being troubled, and my roommate gave an extremely profound comment that I loved. She said, "Fear drives us to Christ." I loved that. As we were talking about things that dispel fear, we discovered that the things that help the most to dispel fear come from God. And that our love for Him and His Gospel dispels fear. I do not need to fear anything about life. For one, I have God on my side. And for two, if I fear God more than I fear man (be in awe of His strength and power), and anything about life, I will be blessed to be able to work with God, and use my fear of Him to press forward steadfastly with faith, and bless His children. When I turn to Him, my fears fade away.

I know that God blesses us. I know that He sends us answers not only when we ask for them, but when we need them–even if we didn't know that that was a question we were seeking an answer for. I know that He loves us all–we are His children, and He created us. 

It's so easy to love other people, but it's a lot harder to love yourself. I've been working really hard on that since the summer, and even though I'm not perfect at it, I am in a better place today than I was then. I really do love myself, and I am blessed to be able to see past my imperfections most of the time. I hope to someday just honestly love myself fully for who I am like I do with my friends and family. That is my goal. I know that God is helping me learn to love myself and see past my flaws. I know that I see past my loved ones' flaws, and I see past a few of my own, but I still have a ways to go. 

I hope and pray that you all know that God loves you, blesses you, and wants what is best for you. I hope you know that I love you and pray for you every day, and that I wish only the best for you in life.

Xoxo

Mattie

Kindness begins with me.

I can't believe I'm starting school this week!! This is my last year of college!!! I'm so excited and so NERVOUS!! But I think it'll be a fantastic year!! :)

I thank God every day for the fact that I have made it as far as I have. In school, in life...I am so, so thankful for the happiness that I feel, and the love, and the peace. I have been a little stressed about this school year, but also I have just been able to accept it. I'm so thankful for the last couple of weeks I've had before school and after working at Bear Lake to rest and relax and get ready for the school year. It's been a blessing to have this time for myself with hardly any responsibilities (don't get me wrong–I had plenty of things to do).

I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned not only in all my time at college, but especially in the past year. I have learned and grown a LOT! And I can't wait to see where this next school year takes me!! I have high hopes that this year will be the best one by far!!

Today I subbed for Porter's class in Primary. I was super nervous, considering the fact that I don't think I've ever taught in Primary–actually, I don't think I've even ever taught a lesson period. Wait...maybe one time. But it was a long time ago and I was 12. It's been awhile.

Anyway.

The lesson that I taught today was on loving one another. In John 13: 34-35, it says, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." We talked about how commandments are laws that Heavenly Father gives us to bless us and help us return to Him. I am so thankful for the example of our Savior, Jesus Christ, on how to love one another. We talked about when Jesus healed the 10 Lepers, when He fed the 5000, and when He stayed with the Nephites, and blessed and healed them. Jesus did all of these things because He loved the people. Just as Jesus did, we, too, can serve, bless, and love those around us. We need to bless and serve those around us and let them know we love them because everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to know that they are loved. We need to do the best we can to be like Jesus and obey Him and our Heavenly Father. We are here to learn and grow, and by obeying the commandments, we can learn and grow.

I've learned a lot this summer, and this past year, and one thing that stands out to me as I look back over the year is this: everyone deserves to be treated with respect and loved. Even if you don't agree, even if you have had issues in the past...everyone deserves to be treated with respect and loved. There are a lot of things that have happened this past year that have been hard for me to deal with. Sometimes they were my fault, and sometimes they weren't. Sometimes I dealt with them, and sometimes I didn't. But I have learned how to deal with things. I have learned how to choose to be happy, and I have learned how to accept and let go of people and experiences.

Life is hard. You can't make people do anything. You have to deal with their choices and they have to deal with yours. But you can always be the bigger person. You can always show them love and kindness, no matter what they do. Even if they don't show you the same courtesy. You will never regret being kind or loving.

I wrote a poem this summer that I wanted to share with you. :)

I Can Fly, by Mattie Radke

I can fly over the garden wall, past the sea, beyond the wind, and far away from the depths of depression in my mind. 

I can fly over the parts of me that yearn to change for you. 

I can fly past the parts of me that want to be exactly like you. 

I can fly beyond the visions of me, wishing I was as funny as you. 

I can fly far away from the depths of depression that lead me to believe I'm not as amazing as you. 

The lesson I've learned throughout my summer is be yourself–not because everyone else is taken, but because the world has need of you!

I wrote this poem when I was kind of feeling a little bit down. I was trying hard to try to fly, like I was talking about in the poem, but as I'm reading it now, I realize that when I wrote it, I was only hoping and wishing that I could fly. I wasn't really flying. But now, I think I have been able to fly. I've been working on my relationship with my Savior, and that has really helped. I'm not perfect at it [flying], and sometimes I still struggle, but not only since I wrote the poem have I changed, but the past couple weeks have been amazing, and I've realized that I don't need to change for anyone–I am who I am, and that's fantastic! I am amazing and funny and beautiful and I give a lot to this world. And if I have the right people in my life, they will (and do) love me for who I am.

You give so much to this world! You are special, and unique, and amazing, and wonderful, and beautiful, inside and out. And I love you. And God loves you. There is no one on Earth who can do what you do, or give to this world what you give. I am thankful for you!! I am thankful that you are here. I am thankful that you are you. I am so happy that you have a passion–whatever it is–and that you follow it. I hope you know how much you are loved and how much you are admired by those around you. And I hope that you will tell those around you how much you love and admire them. Everyone needs to be told that they are appreciated and loved.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!! Happy September!! :)

Xoxo
Mattie

Faith in the future = hope for the future.

This past week school started again, and I wasn't quite sure how it was going to go. But I was feeling very grateful as the week went on. I had a lot a things that worked out really well and I'm glad they helped make the first week of school less stressful. I know that as long as I focus, and work hard, and remember to turn to my Savior when I need to, that everything will be okay. I've got high hopes for this semester and am so excited for this new year and semester.

Our stake Relief Society president was at church today, and she said a few remarks in sacrament meeting. One thing she said that I loved was that "Jesus Christ provides hope in an ever-darkening world."

In addition to that, Clarissa said something at the end of her lesson that I really liked: "We are a light in the world. We can be a light in the darkness, but also in the light" (Something like that).

I'm grateful for the light that Jesus Christ is in my life, and I'm grateful for the lights that my family and friends are in my life. I hope that I can be a light in someone else's life.

One last thought before I go–Haylie in sacrament meeting talked about faith, and how faith is always pointed towards the future. She shared this poem and I loved the last stanza, telling you to put your fears, dreams, doubts, etc. in Christ's hands because it depends whose hands it's in. Moroni 7:42 says, "Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope." If you have faith in the future, you have hope for the future.

Xoxo
Mattie

Grateful for gratitude.

Today was the perfect ending to Thanksgiving break! My newest cousin was blessed this morning and then I got to go to church with my family. So that was great. :)

My thoughts during the sacrament today were really just thankful thoughts but that's okay. :)

Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I am so grateful for Him. Thankful that He loves me, hears me, knows me, prays for me, and atoned for me. I'm grateful that I can repent, and start over each week. I'm grateful that I can be changed, and experience change, through my Savior and my Heavenly Father. 

Something someone said in sacrament meeting stood out to me. She said, "Gratitude isn't a nicety, it's a necessity." Gratitude also does more for us than it does for our Heavenly Father. Gratitude is really for us–I know that I am always humbled when I think of my blessings and the things that I have been given. Gratitude is an expression of our love for our Heavenly Father and our Savior. In the song "Count Your Many Blessings", there are many repeated lines, and for good reason. Repetition becomes a habit. So if you're repeatedly grateful, every day, it will eventually become a habit. Gratitude is essential to our wellbeing. I'm grateful for gratitude–it helps keep me grounded and humble.

One thing that I am grateful for, especially this weekend, is that I was able to come home, and that I didn't have so much homework. Because I needed to work on my prescreening stuff for my application into the school of music. And I was very stressed about it. But I decided to just let go and just do it. I need to put my songs on a CD, and I need to finish some write-ups I have to do, and I am going to try to meet with my career counselor for finishing touches on my resumé for it, and then I will send it in (I may mail it or just drop by the HFAC, I'm still undecided). Anyway, I had a ton of things to do this weekend and I was able to mostly get it done. :) I'm also thankful that this semester is almost over. I'm not entirely prepared for next semester lol but I'm ready for this semester to be over. I'm hoping to be able to get through this semester with nothing below a B grade. If I work really hard, I can do it. This weekend was a great break. Now it's time to get back to work. I'm in the final minutes of the fourth quarter–I'm so close!!

As this holiday season is starting, I just want to remind everyone to be kind (especially to yourself–you are an amazing person. I love you and your Heavenly Father loves you. Don't forget that. <3). Be grateful. Do service. Go out of your way to make someone's day easier or just a little brighter. You'll be rewarded in their gratitude and smile, and you will feel great, knowing that you helped someone. I know I always do. Don't forget to be safe when traveling! Especially when the snow starts to stick and it becomes icy on the roads. Be careful.

Xoxo
Mattie

Reading-heavy classes.

All right...First two days are done! Seems like my classes are going to be fun (except maybe American Heritage but we'll see). They have a lot of reading...which normally is okay, but I think all of my classes will require a lot of outside reading. Wish me luck–that's a lot of reading.

ON the plus side: my teachers are really fun :)

And work is going good...except for me being up before the sun even realizes that it needs to be up in a few hours.

I am missing my friends and close peeps, but I am meeting a lot of new people :)

This is going to be such a fun semester!! :)

I know that God will help me keep up with my homework as long as I do my part. Time management might be a little difficult the first couple of days, but I know that I can do it! :)

"Sometimes all you need is a sincere smile." ~Mattie Radke

Xoxo
Mattie

I can do this.

Hi guys!!!

So, today I had church at my new ward...It was a little weird because there were no little kids, and it was very quiet during sacrament meeting, which was strange. In Relief Society we talked about how the young women's program was to help us grow and develop personally, and Relief Society is about helping other people. We said the young women's theme and it made me miss home but I enjoyed the lesson and am excited for this opportunity to learn and grow with other sisters my own age and in my own hall. :)

There are a lot of great girls in my ward, and I'm excited to get to know them. :) I haven't really met any of the guys yet, but I am excited to get to know my ward. 

My friend said that I should take the opportunity to enjoy the quiet sacrament meetings and I will...It was just a little odd because I'm so used to it being noisy during the meeting.

I start my job tomorrow, and I also start my classes tomorrow. Wish me luck!!! I'm super nervous, but I know that the Lord will help me.

It might take me a couple weeks, but I know that I can do this. I can do this. It'll be a little difficult at first, but I can do it. 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)

Forget not that the Lord loves you (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", Oct. 2011).

Xoxo
Mattie

Gratitude and Lessons Learned.

This is my 201st post. Woohoo!

I know it's the middle of the night but I just wanted to stop and thank people. Being grateful is a quality of Christ that I am almost positive I do not have to work on because it is just in my nature to be grateful.

I am just soo grateful for soooo many people.

I am first and foremost grateful for my Heavenly Father and for my Savior, Jesus Christ. They have given me love and support my whole life, even when I felt like I didn't deserve any. They've always been there for me. I have always been able to count on them, even if I haven't done so for a long time.

I'd also like to recognize my parents. They love me and have given and taught me so much. I am so grateful for their sacrifices for me and for their constant support. They have done so much for me that I can't even begin to describe my gratitude for them.

I am so grateful for all of my family–my aunts and uncles, cousins, siblings, grandparents, and my great-grandparents. I am so thankful for all of their examples and for all of their love. My great-grandparents aren't on earth anymore, and I only knew two of them, but I know that they still love me and are proud of me. I was named after my mother and her grandmother (who I knew and loved dearly), and my father's grandmother (who died before I was born, I think) and I am so grateful for her. My daddy says that I am just like her, and I am so glad. I know I haven't always been a good girl, and I'm so sorry for that, but I am trying to be better and I know that my family still loves me. I don't think many of them know what I have done, but I am sure if they did that they would still love me.

I am so grateful for all of my schoolteachers. I have loved each and every one that I have had. They have all taught me wonderful and valuable things that I will always cherish.

My kindergarten teacher taught me that even grown-ups can look at the world in childlike wonder.
My first grade teacher taught me to be honest, and also that you don't always get rewarded for being dishonest.
My first second grade teacher taught me that I am special just the way I am, and my second second grade teacher taught me that reading is fun.
My third grade teacher taught me that love comes in many different forms; she also taught me that people may move on, but memories of love and kindness will never fade.
My fourth grade teacher taught me that you can be brave and do things that you never before thought you could do.
My fifth grade teacher taught me that love is kind, love is tender, and love is time; she also taught me that you can do anything you put your mind to.
My sixth grade teacher taught me that you can be brave and bold, and also kind.

Now we get on to the years of many teachers. I do not remember all of my junior high and high school teachers–I do not have that good of a memory–but I do remember several of my teachers from each year. I will only post about 2-3 of them in each grade, because that alone is 12-18 teachers.

Seventh grade: 

My science teacher taught me that science can be fun and challenging, and I relate that to being just like school in general, and also life.
My math teacher taught me that math is actually kind of fun sometimes–also like school and life.
My choir teacher taught me that timing is everything. 

I had two teachers that I had both in seventh and eighth grade, so I will talk about them in the middle. My English/History teacher taught me that being in advanced classes isn't always so hard, and it is super fun. My orchestra teacher taught me that you can always have fun doing things that may seem a little difficult, and looks can be deceiving. (Also, looks can be deceiving was the class that was deceiving. I wasn't sure how it was going to go, because I'd never been in a real orchestra before–one with violas and cellos and basses–but I was pleasantly surprised.)

Eighth grade: 

My science teacher (different one) taught me that different forms of science are different, yes, but they are also still science, and can even be fun.
My math teacher (different one) taught me that being different, and being funny, is okay. Fun, even.
My ballroom teacher taught me that, even with a small number of guys, ballroom class can still be fun, and you can still learn something (I will always remember the basic waltz, and the swing, and the cha-cha).

Note: after eighth grade, my family moved from Orem to Lehi, and I had a kind of hard time with it at first.

Ninth grade: 

My English teacher taught me that you can make the most out of every situation.
My math teacher taught me that you can have a sense of humor and can also have a deadly side that no one wants to see.
My P.E. teacher taught me that exercise can be fun sometimes. (Even when you are being forced to participate and you are getting graded on it.)

Tenth grade:

My history teacher taught me that you can do hard things, even if you don't always get along with someone. (Though I did get along with my teacher. I feel like I should mention that. She was great.)
My first math teacher that year taught me that you can turn hard things that seem impossible to hard things that are possible.
My physics teacher taught me that you can do fun things and learn in a class that may seem boring.

Eleventh grade: 

My floral design teacher taught me that even a class that seems easy takes work.
My calculus teacher taught me that just because you're hungry, you can't get out of doing work. (Also that when your name is called for val-o-grams, and you're not certain it was yours, and your teacher assures you that it was, and you jump out of your chair happily, your whole class will laugh at–and with–you.)
My chemistry teacher taught me that you can get rewarded for taking a lot of notes. (Like, A LOT of notes.)

Twelfth grade:

My art teachers taught me that you are more capable than you know.  

My government and citizenship teacher taught me that you can have fun in a class about government.

My AP statistics teacher taught me that if you stick to it, you can get through it.

Finally, I had one teacher all throughout high school. My orchestra teacher (she also happens to be my favorite teacher). I love her so much!!! She taught me so many things!! About life, about music, about relationships, about service (both being the giver and the receiver of said service).
She taught me that it's okay to be yourself.
She taught me that it's okay to be different.
She taught me that it's okay to be scared sometimes.
She taught me that sometimes life takes work.
She taught me to be independent.
She taught me that everyone has their stories.
She taught me that you may not know their whole story, but their story is what makes them who they are.
She taught me that you can make someone's day by doing something simple, without even knowing or understanding why.
She taught me that love is selfless, caring, and being a good listener.
She taught me that love is more than just words: Love is actions.
She was (and is) such a great example to me and I will be forever grateful to and for her because she changed my life. She may not know it, but she did, and I love her so much and am so grateful for her.

I know that I did not mention all of my teachers, and I know that I learned more things from a lot more of my teachers, but if I wrote about all of my teachers, I would be up all night. :) So, I am going to sum up by saying that: I loved all of my teachers, and they all taught me the importance of hard work, stick-to-it-iveness, and kindness, and I am so grateful for all of their sacrifices.

I am also extremely grateful for my church leaders. I know that without them, I would not be who I am today. They have taught me many things and been such good examples to me. I've learned so much from them. They have helped me in so many ways. I am so grateful for their sacrifices and service.

Finally, I am grateful for my friends. Oh how I love them!! They have all taught me the power of numbers, the power of love, the power of influence, and so many more powers. ;) They have all taught me that sometimes you have to stick up for yourself, and sometimes people will follow you–also, sometimes they will not, and that's okay too. They taught me that true friends can get together, and it will seem like no time has passed. They taught me that true friendship is magical.

I am so, so, so, SO grateful for all of the people in my life. Those that have been, those that are, and those that will be–for the first time, or again. I have learned so much from all of them, and I have taught them all, too, I'm sure. I know that God put them in my life for a reason. I know that they have all helped me in ways that I did not understand at the time, and in ways that I may still not know. Their presence in my life changed my life for the better. "I do believe I have been changed for the better" ("For Good", Wicked). Every one of the people that I have talked about here has taught me that you can love so many people; it's unbelievable how much love you can have for a lot of people.

I know that Heavenly Father sends us exactly who we need when we need them. I know that His influence is constantly in our lives. I know that sometimes things don't turn out the way that we would like them to, and that it is hard sometimes. But I do know that He is there for us. He is there for us when things get rough. When things get tough. He is there for us when we are sad. He is there for us after everything we've been through. He never left us, and we are never forgotten. I testify that these things are true. I testify that Jesus Christ really did die for us. I testify that He lives. He is our Redeemer, He is our Savior, and He is our Elder Brother. He loved us–and loves us– so much that He died for us. I know that, and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I can do hard things.

So, I just have to say that I got into BYU!!!! I'm so excited!! I can't wait to start the next chapter of my life, but first, I have to finish the current one. Bleh, haha...High school is hard–third term especially. But I know I can do it. I can do hard things. God is on my side, and He will not let me fail as long as I do my part. I'm so excited and glad that I got into the school I wanted to. I know that I will learn and grow there in ways that I never could elsewhere, and I also know that I will meet people that will help me in my life–for better or for worse, they will have an impact on me–and I on them. I will need to "be strong and of good courage" (1) and "stand in holy places" (2) because no one will be there to tell me what to do. But I can do it, and I can be an example for those around me. I know that God knows what He is doing and I know that I can be a good example and do good things at BYU. Wish me luck! :)

1-Joshua 1:9
2-D&C 87:8

With Him we can.

Whew! First week of school is over!! I can't believe I am a senior. I sincerely hope that the homework load isn't all that heavy this year, but if it is, I know that, with The Lord's help, I can do it!! Just like in the song by Mercy River, "With Him We Can" (which you should most definitely look up—do it! Go! Look it up...now!), with His help, we can do it. We can get through this trial. We can do this homework. We can pass this test. We can make our dreams come true. Because our Heavenly Father loves us, He wants to do everything He can to make us happy—He wants us to be happy. And, with Him, we can. 

"Ask, and it shall be given you"

Totally random, but I changed the look of my blog. And I know most people won't have seen the old version, but I'm just letting you know it didn't always look the way it does now. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about.

In one week, I will be back in school. And I'm frightened. So, so frightened. But I'm also excited. It's a toss up. I'm frightened because it's my last year in high school and what if I fail some of my classes???? I am a good student, but sometimes I worry about "what if I fail?" and I just don't want to be held back because I failed a class. I'm excited because it's my last year in high school!! Woohoo!!

So you see why it's a toss up.

But I have this paper—like a spiritual directory—and for "When you need help in school", the scripture to look at is Doctrine and Covenants 136:32, and it reads: "Let him that is ignorant learn wisdom by humbling himself and calling upon the Lord his God, that his eyes may be opened that he may see, and his ears opened that he might hear". And here is one that I love in St. Matthew 7:7: "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you". And I know that if I have trouble this year in school—or anywhere I'm ignorant, really—I can ask my Heavenly Father and He will help me, as long as I do my part and do my best first before I ask for a little more help, He will answer my prayers. And I know that you can ask, too, and He will also help you. 

He is with me and He loves me no matter what.

So, I'm naturally a musical person. I love to sing and I love to play the violin. And I love musical movies. You know, like Tangled, Frozen, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, etc. And I love to sing along with the movies and recite my favorite lines. Well, my brothers find it annoying that I do that. Well guess what brothers? I don't care—I'll do it anyway, whether or not they like it because it's not harming anyone. But when I say something—that either took me a little while to get or understand, or I didn't think and just said it—my brother always implies that I'm stupid. And I don't like that. I hate it, actually, because he does it to everyone and it's annoying and rude. I'm not stupid—neither are any of my other siblings—but he always implies that we are. And that's just so rude. We're a family and we are supposed to be kind to each other. Sometimes I have a hard time with remembering to be patient and kind, but I know when not to cross the line into "Uh-oh, this is the mean, rude, I'm-going-to-hurt-someone" territory. But my little brothers sometimes don't. And so I'm trying to help teach them to be kind. 

So, I'm also naturally an optimistic and happy person—this annoys some of my siblings; again, I don't care—and I am trying to be the peacemaker between my siblings. Sometimes it doesn't work. But I try it anyway. I am trying to teach Tyler (and sometimes Conner)—because they forget—that the little boys are only little and they do not understand that the little boys are still growing and learning!

This next school year is going to be my senior year of high school and I'm feeling a mix of emotions. I'm excited to be going to school and I'm excited to be finished. I'm also sad—I don't want summer to end and I don't want my last year to be over. I'm excited for the future, but also scared. I'm also scared for summer to end and for school to start. Really, my emotions can be boiled down to two: excited and scared. But guess what??

Did you guess? Okay, here's the real answer:

No matter what I'm going through in life—family matters, school matters, friendship matters—I can always count on my Savior and I can always turn to Him. I can always depend on His gospel to help me answer my questions and get through life. I am so grateful for His Atonement and I am so grateful that He listens to me and helps me when I need it. I have learned that He knows and loves me and He sends blessings my way when I need them, even if I don't know that I need them. He will always love me—no matter what—and He will always send me help. He is always right beside me and knows the path ahead of me even though I can't see it. He is always with me. And I am so grateful that He will never leave me alone because I don't know what I would do without His hand in my life.