Last day home.

Last day home. Been an odd day. Did some last minute shopping and been finishing up my packing. I think I'm actually done. There's like a handful of things left for me to pack. 

Yesterday was a little rough... Today was odd, so that made it a little easier to do stuff. 

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, but I'm also still quite nervous. 

I'm gonna miss my siblings, whether or not they miss me. 

I'm going to miss seeing familiar faces. 

But I'm excited to make new friends (again, still hard for me. Please pray for me). 

I'm excited to be on my own. 

I'm super excited because BYU has Karaoke nights!!!!!!! Woohoo!! 

I'm grateful for this opportunity, and I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father and my Savior will be right there with me. <3

Wish me luck!!!

Xoxo

Mattie

If you do your best, He will make up the rest.

I finished packing most of my clothes today!! A lady in my ward came over and helped me, and we fit a ton of stuff that I wouldn't have been able to fit into my suitcase had I done it by myself. I have a few pieces of clothing that I will be packing in a smaller suitcase, along with a lot of the stuff that I am currently using. 

I decided yesterday that the wait is mostly what's killing me about this big new step called College. 

Now that I'm pretty much done with most of my packing, I'm feeling very excited about moving. It's weird because school doesn't start until the 31st, but I move out next week, and it's especially weird because I keep thinking about it in two different mindsets: a) school doesn't start till the end of the month; and 2) I move out next week. It's all very confusifying. I don't even understand it myself.

Anyway...

Tonight I was reading in Jarom and it says in the first chapter and ninth verse that, "Inasmuch as ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land." This means that you will be blessed for keeping the commandments. I know that this is true. I've seen it in my own life, and I'm grateful that the Lord blesses me for trying to do my best. 

When I fail (because I do fail; often, actually), I get really sad and kind of mad at myself. Why? Because I know that I: 1) hurt someone in the process (either myself or someone else, and the Lord); and b) disappointed not only myself, but my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I'm trying really hard to do the best I can, but sometimes I fall short. It's comforting to know that if I do my best, He will make up the rest. I know He loves me. I know He died for me and for you. I know that He will help you with anything you need help with. I know that He is always there for you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

He is with me and He loves me no matter what.

So, I'm naturally a musical person. I love to sing and I love to play the violin. And I love musical movies. You know, like Tangled, Frozen, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, etc. And I love to sing along with the movies and recite my favorite lines. Well, my brothers find it annoying that I do that. Well guess what brothers? I don't care—I'll do it anyway, whether or not they like it because it's not harming anyone. But when I say something—that either took me a little while to get or understand, or I didn't think and just said it—my brother always implies that I'm stupid. And I don't like that. I hate it, actually, because he does it to everyone and it's annoying and rude. I'm not stupid—neither are any of my other siblings—but he always implies that we are. And that's just so rude. We're a family and we are supposed to be kind to each other. Sometimes I have a hard time with remembering to be patient and kind, but I know when not to cross the line into "Uh-oh, this is the mean, rude, I'm-going-to-hurt-someone" territory. But my little brothers sometimes don't. And so I'm trying to help teach them to be kind. 

So, I'm also naturally an optimistic and happy person—this annoys some of my siblings; again, I don't care—and I am trying to be the peacemaker between my siblings. Sometimes it doesn't work. But I try it anyway. I am trying to teach Tyler (and sometimes Conner)—because they forget—that the little boys are only little and they do not understand that the little boys are still growing and learning!

This next school year is going to be my senior year of high school and I'm feeling a mix of emotions. I'm excited to be going to school and I'm excited to be finished. I'm also sad—I don't want summer to end and I don't want my last year to be over. I'm excited for the future, but also scared. I'm also scared for summer to end and for school to start. Really, my emotions can be boiled down to two: excited and scared. But guess what??

Did you guess? Okay, here's the real answer:

No matter what I'm going through in life—family matters, school matters, friendship matters—I can always count on my Savior and I can always turn to Him. I can always depend on His gospel to help me answer my questions and get through life. I am so grateful for His Atonement and I am so grateful that He listens to me and helps me when I need it. I have learned that He knows and loves me and He sends blessings my way when I need them, even if I don't know that I need them. He will always love me—no matter what—and He will always send me help. He is always right beside me and knows the path ahead of me even though I can't see it. He is always with me. And I am so grateful that He will never leave me alone because I don't know what I would do without His hand in my life.