I can do this.

Hi guys!!!

So, today I had church at my new ward...It was a little weird because there were no little kids, and it was very quiet during sacrament meeting, which was strange. In Relief Society we talked about how the young women's program was to help us grow and develop personally, and Relief Society is about helping other people. We said the young women's theme and it made me miss home but I enjoyed the lesson and am excited for this opportunity to learn and grow with other sisters my own age and in my own hall. :)

There are a lot of great girls in my ward, and I'm excited to get to know them. :) I haven't really met any of the guys yet, but I am excited to get to know my ward. 

My friend said that I should take the opportunity to enjoy the quiet sacrament meetings and I will...It was just a little odd because I'm so used to it being noisy during the meeting.

I start my job tomorrow, and I also start my classes tomorrow. Wish me luck!!! I'm super nervous, but I know that the Lord will help me.

It might take me a couple weeks, but I know that I can do this. I can do this. It'll be a little difficult at first, but I can do it. 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)

Forget not that the Lord loves you (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", Oct. 2011).

Xoxo
Mattie

God is looking out for you.

HEY!!!
SO!!! I moved in yesterday!! :D

My roommate's name is Sabrina, and she's really nice; she's from Illinois, which is fun!

Yesterday, I did a couple of things:

I had lunch by myself (Gonna be honest. I was okay at first, but when I sat down by myself, and realized I was alone, I cried a tiny bit).

Then I asked where my mailbox was (sadly, I bawled like a baby. That poor woman at the desk! But she was really nice and even had tissues for me :) ), and tried to open it, but it was too high (and I forgot my lanyard has a clip) so I just gave up.

Then, I think I went to the HFAC and asked about the orchestra auditions–the orchestras that are non audition are actual classes, so maybe next semester?

Then I went to the BYU bookstore to pick up my textbooks.

Then I went to the Library and checked out a couple of books. :) I'll probably be there a lot... ;)

Then I went back to my room and chilled until about 6, when I went to the Cannon Center for a Helaman party!! I met several people here, and made three new (close) friends, with whom I had a FANTASTIC night, and a lot of new acquaintances. There were carnival games, food (hot dogs, cotton candy, etc.), pie eating contests (kind of lame; they only had to eat one piece with no hands), music, dancing later, and a magician!! He was so cool!! (Drew was way impressed hahaha!) Then he made us balloon animals and that was really fun!

Today was orientation day #1. I am group Red 8. We have a fun group! I've made several friends. :) We walked a LOT. We walked up hill, down hill, up stairs, down stairs, into buildings, back out of buildings, etc. My feet are KILLING me and my legs are so sore!! But it's been fun! There were a couple of freshman-wide "devotionals" (they weren't really a devotional, but I don't know what else to call them...) that were really cool.

Then we went to the football stadium for our Y picture, and for an intro to some of the athletic programs, and for the lighting of the Y on Y mountain!!! SO cool!!

It's been a great two days!! (Even though I keep getting lost, losing my friends, and forgetting things. ;) )

I just wanted to let you guys know that everything is going great and I'm having a good time. :)

I also wanted to let you know that God loves you, and He is looking out for you. It might not always be when you want–and you may even not want to go and do anything so that He can bless you–but He is always looking out for you and He cares so much about you, even if it's a little thing such as you got blisters on your ankles and needed bandaids, or you needed someone to talk to because you'd been alone all day (that someone could either be a friend you really, really, really missed even though you just talked with her on Monday; oooorrrr it could be a cute guy...Luckily, I got both. ;) ).

Whatever your problems, He is there. I testify that He loves you and will help you if you ask Him and if you try and go and do things–He can't help you if you're sitting on your bed doing nothing. Be proactive! I know He that loves you so much! Please turn to Him!! He will help you and bless you. <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Last day home.

Last day home. Been an odd day. Did some last minute shopping and been finishing up my packing. I think I'm actually done. There's like a handful of things left for me to pack. 

Yesterday was a little rough... Today was odd, so that made it a little easier to do stuff. 

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, but I'm also still quite nervous. 

I'm gonna miss my siblings, whether or not they miss me. 

I'm going to miss seeing familiar faces. 

But I'm excited to make new friends (again, still hard for me. Please pray for me). 

I'm excited to be on my own. 

I'm super excited because BYU has Karaoke nights!!!!!!! Woohoo!! 

I'm grateful for this opportunity, and I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father and my Savior will be right there with me. <3

Wish me luck!!!

Xoxo

Mattie

Keeping on the path; and Defending the Family Proclamation.

Yes, I did post yesterday. But it's Sunday–I can't forget my weekly Sunday posts. :)

Today, I learned a lot about a lot of different things in Sacrament meeting:

• It doesn't matter where you are, it matters where you are going.
• Go back to the basics–we need to have a strong foundation, which means we need to keep working on it.
• Look towards the end/your goal. Set your sights towards your goal, for then you can focus on how to get there.
• When we feel alone, we are not, for Christ is always with us.
• Look to God. As we focus on the Savior, He won't allow us to sink.

In Relief Society, we talked about Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson's talk entitled, "Defenders of the Family Proclamation". One thing I highlighted was "If it is the Lord's plan, it should also be our plan!"

She talked about three principles that "are especially in need of steadfast defenders":

1) Marriage between a man and a woman. In today's world, the very definition of family is being torn apart! Marriage is between a man and a woman, for that is the way that God intended and created us to be. No laws, public criticism, or anything will change what the Lord has declared to be right.

2) The divine roles of mothers and fathers. Sister Jones had someone read a quote that I thought was truly inspired: "There is no one way to be a good mother." I love that. You do what is best for your family. It is different for everyone. Being a mother or a father is a divine role, and it is such an important one. You are the ones who teach your children of our Heavenly Father's plan. It is important for them to be reared in love and righteousness.

One cannot remember mother and forget God.
~President Thomas S. Monson

3) The last principle is the sanctity of the home. "We should 'make our homes' places of order, refuge, holiness, and safety." She said, "Let us defend the home as a place which is second only to the temple in holiness." Our homes should be a place of love and righteousness. As the definition of family is being torn apart, so are homes. It is important for children to have a real home to go to–one that is full of love, righteousness, and happy family members.

Today was my last Sunday in the ward. What a great way to end this chapter in my life!! I'm super nervous for school but I'm really excited to be moving on!! So glad that I always have my Savior to turn to. <3

Letter of gratitude and love.

Dear Reader,
If you're reading this, this either means that you are either a friend, or a family member, or a nice random person who follows my blog. [If you're the latter, thank you so much! :)]

Today is Saturday August 22nd, 2015. I know it's late, but I realized earlier today that this weekend is my last weekend at home!! I move out next Wednesday.  You may question: Am I super excited? Can I wait? Am I a little sad? (Answers to come shortly)

Before I go, I have to say something (I was going to post this Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, but I couldn't wait).

18 years is a long time. I've lived in five homes, two of which were in Provo when I was little, and two of which were in Orem up until I was 14 years old. The most recent home is here in Lehi. Though I do not really remember the homes in Provo, I most definitely remember the Orem homes and, obviously, Lehi. I've been to four schools, two of which were in Orem and two of which were here in Lehi.

In all that time, I have met so many people. They have all taught me so many things. If you would like to read a detailed version of my gratitude for people in my life, click here. I should mention that it is literally detailed. It is way, way, waaay long, and if you don't want to read it after you look at it, I don't blame you. But just in case you want to, it is there for you.

Now–I am so, so, so grateful for everyone in my home neighborhoods–both Lehi and Orem. I have learned so much and grown so much because of all of the people that I have come in contact with. Everyone has taught me a valuable lesson, whether they knew it or not–whether I knew it or not. I have had so many angels in my life, especially within the last three or so years. They have been anchors and strengths to me, and I'm so grateful for them. I never knew that so many people could touch my life in so many different ways, but it's possible. <3

I have never felt so much love for all of my friends and family until now. There are so many things I'm going to miss.

I'm going to miss getting together with my girl friends whenever a school dance was coming up and having a movie night. We had such fun!! I love those girls so much!!
I'm going to miss getting to be around my family all the time.
I'm going to miss getting to watch Porter and Lander grow up.
I'm going to miss lunchtime. I pretty much was a bouncy ball, traveling to friends because I wanted to see them and I missed them. (Also because I was literally bouncy. It's so much fun!)
I'm going to miss young women's. I love those girls so, so much!! They're all such sweethearts and they're going to be amazing mothers someday. <3
I'm going to miss seeing my friends every day/every other day. You get used to seeing them so often very fast, and when it's suddenly not happening, your world turns upside down. It's quite disconcerting.
I'm going to miss knowing people everywhere I go, or mostly everywhere I go. BYU is a big school, and I'm probably not going to see people that I currently know all that often, so I'm going to need to make new friends (which is hard for me. Please pray for me).
I'm going to miss my dad's weird sense of humor.
I'm going to miss all the times that all of us kids get along together, and we watch a movie, or quote a movie together, or have a singing/dancing session/marathon, or when we just talked and laughed.
I'm going to miss babysitting all the cute kids in my ward. They're so cute and I always enjoy watching them because they're so cute!!! I'm going to miss that.
Most of all, I'm going to miss having my mom around.
I'm going to miss her always being right there for me when I need her.

To answer your questions: Yes, I'm super excited, and yes, I can't wait, but yes, I'm a little sad.

Life is going to change so much for me in a few days.

Sometimes I'm ready for it.

Right now?

Right now, I'm going to miss what I have now, but yes–I am excited. Though I will be having to adjust to new changes, there is one thing that I do not have to adjust to. Because one thing that is never going to change ever is my Savior. He will always be with me. He will always be there for me, and He is always going to love me. I know that I don't have to get through this without Him, and I'm so grateful for that. I love Him so much and I know that He loves me.

Thank you for always being there. Thanks for reading, thanks for being supportive, thanks for the love, and thanks for being my friend. Please, don't ever forget me. I'm always here for you, even if we never talk. Thanks for everything. <3

Love,
Mattie

If you do your best, He will make up the rest.

I finished packing most of my clothes today!! A lady in my ward came over and helped me, and we fit a ton of stuff that I wouldn't have been able to fit into my suitcase had I done it by myself. I have a few pieces of clothing that I will be packing in a smaller suitcase, along with a lot of the stuff that I am currently using. 

I decided yesterday that the wait is mostly what's killing me about this big new step called College. 

Now that I'm pretty much done with most of my packing, I'm feeling very excited about moving. It's weird because school doesn't start until the 31st, but I move out next week, and it's especially weird because I keep thinking about it in two different mindsets: a) school doesn't start till the end of the month; and 2) I move out next week. It's all very confusifying. I don't even understand it myself.

Anyway...

Tonight I was reading in Jarom and it says in the first chapter and ninth verse that, "Inasmuch as ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land." This means that you will be blessed for keeping the commandments. I know that this is true. I've seen it in my own life, and I'm grateful that the Lord blesses me for trying to do my best. 

When I fail (because I do fail; often, actually), I get really sad and kind of mad at myself. Why? Because I know that I: 1) hurt someone in the process (either myself or someone else, and the Lord); and b) disappointed not only myself, but my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I'm trying really hard to do the best I can, but sometimes I fall short. It's comforting to know that if I do my best, He will make up the rest. I know He loves me. I know He died for me and for you. I know that He will help you with anything you need help with. I know that He is always there for you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Quest of a Lifetime.

Finally started packing for college the other day (Friday). I have two boxes fully packed; my school supplies box isn't all the way packed because I didn't know if I would need anything else, so for right now it is staying open.

Packing has been difficult. College still doesn't exactly seem real yet.

I had another mission farewell today, but I had to pay tithing so I went to my ward for sacrament meeting, and we sang "Families Can Be Together Forever" and I nearly started bawling. Next week is my last week at church before I move, and I won't see my family all the time. I'm grateful for this (Porter's terrible 4's and my brothers all being up in each others' faces will be nice to get away from), but also sad. I'm going to miss it when all my siblings get along, and when my brothers do cute things.

I have been very emotional this month, especially since I have started packing and since I have realized that my siblings start school this week and I am not going to be joining them. Also especially since I realized that my friends and I are all going to separate schools (or going on missions for a lot of my guy friends) and we won't see each other quite so often. And making new friends is difficult for me sometimes. I don't really deal with changes all that well sometimes, and this one is a big change, which is why I'm really nervous, but I'm really excited. It'll be good for me.

I really am really excited for college, but I just can't stop feeling nervous and worried!! I'm super worried that I won't make a lot of friends and super worried that even if I do make friends, I might scare some of them off because I am (sometimes) a whack-a-doodle crazy person (<<Example. Who says whack-a-doodle crazy person??).

I was told that the more I focus on being scared, the more scared I'll become, so I'm trying really hard to focus on being super excited!! I was also told that "It's okay to live" and I know that; I also know that college is my time!! It's just me! It'll be fun. :) I really am excited. :)

I think part of the reason that I'm nervous is because I'm worried that I'll forget something or that my roommate won't like me, or I won't make friends soon, or that I'll forget something important–like how to be a normal person.

ANYWAY.

The point of this post was to share this:

Though I am going to be by myself;
Though I am going to be/learn to be an adult;
Though I am going to be scared;
Though I am going to be worried;
There is no need for me to be quite so scared, quite so worried;
God is on my side.
He is with me.
He will be there.

I sometimes forget that: He's coming with me!!! He won't let me go alone. He'll be there every step of the way. :) :) :)

I just have to be brave. It's like when I go swimming: if I dip my toes in, it's super freezing! I just have to be brave and jump in, and then my body gets used to the water rather quickly and it's okay. Change is like that; you just have to be brave and jump in. Everything will be okay. :) Especially because my Savior is going with me and He won't let me do it all alone. As long as I remember to study my scriptures, pray, and manage my time wisely, everything will be okay. :) :)

Life is just a big adventure, and college is the next step on my road map. 

This'll be the quest of a lifetime, and it's my quest. :) :)

Oh! And P.S. I have been working on my scripture study, and every night this week I have studied my scriptures/written in my scripture journal and prayed. :) This week, I'm going to try and pray in the mornings, too. :) Wish me luck!! :)

After much tribulation, blessings come.

"For after much tribulation come the blessings." ~Doctrine and Covenants 58: 4
I love this scripture! We all have trials, and they’re always difficult and hard to go through, but as you turn to Him, the blessings will come. <3

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." ~Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Trials are really difficult.

They're always difficult.

But they make us stronger.

Sometimes things that don't seem like trials are trials, and you wonder what you can learn from it.

Currently, my biggest trial is biting my nails. I am super nervous for college, but I must be way more nervous than I thought because I keep biting my nails and it's really bad. It's really painful sometimes, and I just don't know what I can do to stop! I've tried everything, and some will work for a little while but then I go back to biting them. I think that this trial is teaching me patience and determination. I am determined to stop biting, but it is taking a long time; I have to have patience and I have to work on it consciously. I have to tell myself to stop biting my nails.

Another trial that I am having is studying my scriptures. This trial is also teaching me determination and patience (I am determined to make it a better habit, but it is taking time), but it is also teaching me time management. I have to manage my time so that I will have time for my scripture study, but also for my school studies once I start college.

There are tons of trials in our lives, and they will always teach us something–whether it be now, or later; whether we realize what we are learning or not. Whatever our circumstances, trials will always teach us something, and blessings will always, always come. Blessings come after a trial of our faith.

Singing and blessings.

Hey!! I don't remember if I told you guys that I auditioned to be able to sing the song "Together" at the movie premiere of Once I Was A Beehive and have my version of that song recorded for the soundtrack. ANYWAY, that's what happened. And I got to the top fifty and I was so excited!! So I told everyone to share/vote for me, and they all tried so hard, I'm so grateful for them, but I didn't move on to the top ten. And I never checked back because I felt really, really sad. So, I was on Facebook earlier today, and the Facebook page for the movie shared the video of the person who won. I just have to say that she has a really good voice, but I'm just really sad. Because guess why? The girl who won....is eleven years old. And I was on Facebook a few minutes ago, and this picture popped up and just made me want to cry and cry:

It made me want to cry because this is now the third time that I've auditioned for something and I haven't gotten in/it. The first two times I auditioned for the school's talent show, and I didn't get it. Right before the first one, though (I think it was the first one, anyway), I got the solo in our stake's "Stand In Holy Places" production, and that made me so, so happy! Anyway, so I didn't get into the talent show, and that made me sad. And now I didn't get the movie thing, and I got beat by an eleven-year-old. Is God telling me that I shouldn't go into music with my voice?? I don't know, and it's making me sad and frustrated. (Also, just FYI–I have been crying a bit as I've been writing this. I'm okay, but I just haven't let out my feelings about not moving on in the competition and I feel like I need to do that.)

I know He loves me, but I just feel like all of these things aren't a coincidence, and I don't know what to do. I absolutely LOVE singing, and I don't know what I'll do if I can't do something with it for the rest of my life. I mean, yes, I love playing the violin, but I also love singing, and I have been singing for longer than I have been performing, and I am just so confused. 

I'm going to start praying and studying my scriptures about this; see if I can find an answer. 

OH!!!! I remember where I was going to go with this. I think I didn't get the movie thing because I'm still a little sick, and singing/talking is hard for me because I keep coughing. Blech! :/ 

ANYWAY.

I'm getting off topic (I do that a lot, in case you haven't noticed). The point of this post was not to cry (though I often cry while writing because I am an emotional person, especially lately since I'm going to college in less than three weeks. EEEK!!!); it was to let you know that God has bigger things planned for you. He has greater things in store. I'm so grateful that He can see ahead on my life's path, because sometimes I get so caught up in the now, and in the past, that sometimes I forget that there's so much more out there for me. I'm so much more than who I was, and who I am. I can be a greater person than I am. God knows what He is doing, and He is guiding me to who He needs me to be and who He knows I can be. 

All of these trials are going to make me a better person. I normally know that, but right now I have faith that they will because sometimes I don't know things; sometimes I just have faith. I know that all of these things will make me a better person and help me in the future. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Keeping the Sabbath day holy with our families.

Today in Relief Society we talked about how to keep the Sabbath day holy more fully. We talked about a lot of different things, like how we should prepare on Saturday so that Sunday is less stressful. We also talked about how the Sabbath day was made for man–it's a gift from God to us. We also talked about how oftentimes we talk about what we can't do on the Sabbath. We should start talking about the things we can do. We can spend more time with family, and we can spend more time studying our scriptures. Some of the ladies talked about how they play games with their families. Yes we can't do some things, but we choose not to do those things. Sunday is a day of rest from the world. I think that that means that we should spend time with our families...I'm trying to think of a way to say this, but I can't figure it out...I'm trying to say that spending time with our families is opposite of what the world wants us to do, especially on Sundays. Families are important to us. They're a central part of the Plan of Salvation. 

Sundays are important. It's important to go to church, to remember our covenants with the Lord. Sundays should be spent resting, remembering our Savior, and building our relationships with our family, and with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We get to be with our families forever. We should spend time learning to love them more. 

The Lord loves us so much that He gave us a day of rest from the rest of the week. I don't know about you, but my weeks are full of stuff–I'm always so busy doing things. It is so nice to be able to relax on Sunday, not having to worry about anything that I usually do during the week. I'm so grateful for the Sabbath day, and I'm so grateful that I get to spend time with my family on Sundays. (At least for now. I don't know what I'll do on Sundays when I'm off at college...Well, we'll see how that goes, I guess.) I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father gave us a day of rest. If I didn't have Sundays to rest, I think I'd be run a lot more ragged than I am. It's nice to have a day where I don't have to worry about what I did last week, or what I'll be doing this upcoming week. I'm so grateful that I have a loving Heavenly Father who cares about me and wants me not only to succeed, try, and try again, but also to rest, so He gave me a day to rest from six days of successes, trials, and errors.