We are made up of a million tiny little things.

This week I have been in one of the most famous cities in the world: New York City!!! It has been a DREAM of mine for a long time and I can't believe I've finally been able to make it here!!! It has been an absolute BLAST and I have learned a lot about myself and life.

I've learned that I am extremely polite, I take my time to look at art and nature, I'm very independent, I need a map/guide, I often state the most obvious things, and when things go wrong I tend to look on the bright side.

I've learned that people in New York do NOT know how to drive!!!! At all!!!! I will never complain about Utah drivers again.

I've learned that it's a lot harder to hear God in the city that never sleeps...but when I can, it's still as beautiful as ever.

I've learned that you can never get tired of beautiful places, experiences, and things.

I've learned that sometimes stepping out of your comfort city/state is not only wanted, but NEEDED to give you a nice little break from your life.

I've learned that sometimes, in order to appreciate your life and get a better point of view, you need to take a step back.

I've learned that God is always with you. He cares about you. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to be HAPPY. And happiness is a choice. Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light, as Professor Dumbledore said.

Sometimes our circumstances aren't what we wanted or imagined. And sometimes it's depressing. And that's okay. But if you focus on what you don't have, you lose sight of what you DO have. And I've learned that that doesn't make me the happiest of people.

It's hard to focus on what I do have, especially when I am not entirely sure what I do have. Not that I don't have lots of amazing parts to my life, but sometimes it seems like there aren't that many things to my life. I have a great job, great coworkers, great family, great friends.

But there is more to life, right? That's why I came to New York—because I wanted to see the world, and wanted to experience the world. I wanted to see what else the world has to offer. Because maybe–just maybe–if I can see what else the world has to offer, maybe I can see what else I have to offer.

Bishop Christopher W. Waddell said in the April 2019 General Conference, "As we seek the guidance of the Spirit and trust the Lord, we will be placed in situations and circumstances where we can act and bless—in other words, minister. There may be other times when we recognize a need but feel inadequate to respond, assuming that what we have to offer is insufficient. To do just as He did, however, is to minister by giving what we are capable of giving and to trust that the Lord will magnify our efforts to bless our “fellow travelers on this mortal journey.” For some, it may be giving the gift of time and talents; for others, it may be a kind word or a strong back. Although we may feel that our efforts are inadequate, President Dallin H. Oaks shared an important principle regarding “small and simple.” He taught that small and simple acts are powerful because they invite “the companionship of the Holy Ghost,” a companion who blesses both the giver and the receiver.

Small and simple things. It is the little things that make all the difference. We're all made up of a million tiny little things. We're all given the opportunity to make a difference with a million tiny little choices. What we CAN and DO give is enough—no matter how big or how small. As long as you are giving your all, you are making a difference.

Xoxo
Mattie

The Quest of a Lifetime.

Finally started packing for college the other day (Friday). I have two boxes fully packed; my school supplies box isn't all the way packed because I didn't know if I would need anything else, so for right now it is staying open.

Packing has been difficult. College still doesn't exactly seem real yet.

I had another mission farewell today, but I had to pay tithing so I went to my ward for sacrament meeting, and we sang "Families Can Be Together Forever" and I nearly started bawling. Next week is my last week at church before I move, and I won't see my family all the time. I'm grateful for this (Porter's terrible 4's and my brothers all being up in each others' faces will be nice to get away from), but also sad. I'm going to miss it when all my siblings get along, and when my brothers do cute things.

I have been very emotional this month, especially since I have started packing and since I have realized that my siblings start school this week and I am not going to be joining them. Also especially since I realized that my friends and I are all going to separate schools (or going on missions for a lot of my guy friends) and we won't see each other quite so often. And making new friends is difficult for me sometimes. I don't really deal with changes all that well sometimes, and this one is a big change, which is why I'm really nervous, but I'm really excited. It'll be good for me.

I really am really excited for college, but I just can't stop feeling nervous and worried!! I'm super worried that I won't make a lot of friends and super worried that even if I do make friends, I might scare some of them off because I am (sometimes) a whack-a-doodle crazy person (<<Example. Who says whack-a-doodle crazy person??).

I was told that the more I focus on being scared, the more scared I'll become, so I'm trying really hard to focus on being super excited!! I was also told that "It's okay to live" and I know that; I also know that college is my time!! It's just me! It'll be fun. :) I really am excited. :)

I think part of the reason that I'm nervous is because I'm worried that I'll forget something or that my roommate won't like me, or I won't make friends soon, or that I'll forget something important–like how to be a normal person.

ANYWAY.

The point of this post was to share this:

Though I am going to be by myself;
Though I am going to be/learn to be an adult;
Though I am going to be scared;
Though I am going to be worried;
There is no need for me to be quite so scared, quite so worried;
God is on my side.
He is with me.
He will be there.

I sometimes forget that: He's coming with me!!! He won't let me go alone. He'll be there every step of the way. :) :) :)

I just have to be brave. It's like when I go swimming: if I dip my toes in, it's super freezing! I just have to be brave and jump in, and then my body gets used to the water rather quickly and it's okay. Change is like that; you just have to be brave and jump in. Everything will be okay. :) Especially because my Savior is going with me and He won't let me do it all alone. As long as I remember to study my scriptures, pray, and manage my time wisely, everything will be okay. :) :)

Life is just a big adventure, and college is the next step on my road map. 

This'll be the quest of a lifetime, and it's my quest. :) :)

Oh! And P.S. I have been working on my scripture study, and every night this week I have studied my scriptures/written in my scripture journal and prayed. :) This week, I'm going to try and pray in the mornings, too. :) Wish me luck!! :)

The Light of Christ.

"No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love." –Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I love this!!! Heavenly Father never forgets you. In a world of darkness and despair, He has not forgotten you. As Professor Dumbledore once said:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light. " –Albus Dumbledore,
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie

 Our world is getting darker. But we have a light inside of us: the Light of Christ. We need to let it shine. Heavenly Father hasn't forgotten you. He has not forgotten any one of us. He loves us so much that He gave us all the Light of Christ. We all have it. But everyone's light burns differently because we all act on it differently. Some people do not act on it at all, and sadly, their light is extinguishing. The Light of Christ makes it possible for us to discern truth from lies. If we do not act on the truths, however, and we make the wrong decision, the light inside of us grows smaller. When we act on the truths and choose the right and best decision, our light grows bigger and brighter, our testimony grows stronger, and we are more prepared to feel the truth the next time it comes.