Life can't always be smooth sailing.

Life ebbs and flows like the waves on the seas. Sometimes it's calm, sometimes it's rough. Sometimes it's so blue, and sometimes you are so depressed, but sometimes it's so blue and you are so grateful.

You have to ride the waves, and be okay with the bumpiness and inconsistencies of life. It's important to wear your life jacket—for me, that's the Gospel. It keeps me afloat, and gives me life. And I also look to my lifeguard—my Savior. I know that if I sink, He will lift me up, and He will be there. He walks on the water, and He will never let me drown. 

This week was not the greatest. We had around 182 scouts to feed and so we were preparing food for like 300 people including staff and it was hectic and insane. But we made it through the week!! I was feeling very stressed this week and Friday night was kind of the climax of my stress but I have been feeling better now that all the scouts are gone. 

This week I was able to go on the Wilderness Survival Overnighter and I'm so glad I did!! It was such a beautiful nice and such a peaceful experience. I was able to think about a lot of things and it was good. It was very relaxing, which I needed this week. 

I can't believe I'm almost done working up here!! I go home in 13 days!! It's been a great summer. 

Serah said something today during her lesson that I loved. She said, "If the Lord wants to prepare His people, He sends them to the wilderness." And I just couldn't help but think, "That's me." I have really learned a lot this summer and I think I'm more prepared for some things than I ever have been before. I'm grateful for the opportunity I've had, and for the people I've met. I have come to love all the staff with all of my heart. They're all helpful, kind, funny, and sweet–and most of them are guys. ;) But seriously–they have taught me a lot and I really am so, so grateful for them. 

These last two weeks of camp are gonna be hard because I'm looking forward to going home, but I'm also really sad to be leaving. It's been an amazing summer, and I'm gonna miss everyone so much. 

I'm grateful for this experience, and for the lessons I've learned. I'm hoping that I will leave camp a better person than when I came here. I feel like I've changed a lot, but I also kind of feel like I am the same person. I hope that I have blessed the lives of those around me this summer. I have tried to be a friend to everyone, and I hope that at least I have been kind. 

I know God loves me, and I know that He blesses me every day. I hope that I am able to bless those around me for Him. 

I hope you have a great week!! Take a moment for yourself this week. I know that it'll bless you. God loves you!! :)

Xoxo

Mattie

He will find a way to reach you.

What a week it's been!! I had the opportunity to be a troop friend this week!! So that was super exciting! Our troop was really fun and the boys were such a riot!! It was such a good experience!! For the first time in awhile I felt like I had a purpose. And at the end of the week, one of their leaders talked to Cora and I, thanking us for what we did for the boys. It was awesome! I'm so grateful for the opportunity.

This weekend was fun too because I got to go out of town with some friends to see The Incredibles 2! We went to Logan and it was so nice to be out of camp for several hours! It was nice to not be needed or asked, "Hey, Mattie, can I do [this thing in the kitchen]?" It was great. :)

The last couple weeks I've been focusing on trying to find myself, and trying to find my purpose. I've been thinking a lot about the upcoming school year, and my plans after graduation. It's been kind of stressful, I'm not gonna lie. But! I've realized something this week. I realized that whatever happens, happens. I realized that I'm just going to have to make decisions, and go with them. God will direct me when the decisions I've made aren't going to lead me where He wants me to go. 

I've also been feeling a little lonely the last couple of weeks. I don't know why, but I have. And I've realized that God knows me, and is watching out for me. I mean, I got to be a troop friend this week!! And I got to go to the Honor Trail with them this week, and that was a very special experience. I've been able to fill my time, and I've been able to feel at peace with being by myself (most of the time). I know that God loves me and is watching out for me. Each day, something happens that reminds me that He knows me, loves me, blesses me, and teaches me. 

I had the opportunity to see the sunrise from a canoe this week. It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I took a lot of pictures and I got some really amazing ones. But the thing that was the best about the experience was that sunrises are exactly like how Heavenly Father speaks to and teaches us. It can be very, very gradual, and you don't notice it all the time, until suddenly, you hear Him. Or feel Him. Or see His lesson. Or recognize His promises. Sometimes you won't always feel it, or recognize it. But He will find a way to reach you. He knows what touches you, and lifts you up, and He will find a way to make sure you that you know you are not alone, and that you know He hears you. 

I am so blessed! I'm blessed to be a daughter of God. I'm blessed to have a Savior who loves me so much. I'm blessed to have wonderful friends and family. I'm blessed to be able to learn and grow. I'm blessed to be able to serve. 

God has a lot in store for me, and though I don't know what's ahead of me, I'm looking forward to see where life takes me. 

I hope you have a wonderful week! I love you all and am so grateful for you!! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Progress, not perfection.

It's been a beautiful week coming back to camp! I was well-rested from my time at home and I had a lot of energy the first couple of days. It has mellowed out now and I can control it more, but it's still there.

This week I've been trying to be more Christlike. I've been trying to be nicer, more thoughtful, and more focused on my tasks that I have to do–there's more but those are the top three. I'm not perfect at them, but I'm proud of my progress so far. 

Pat–our camp chaplain–shares a quote each day at breakfast. The quote the other day was: "God doesn't expect perfection but He does expect progress." For some reason that really resonated with me. Maybe because of all the failures I've had with overcoming and fixing different parts of me. Or maybe not, I don't know. What I do know is this: I'm trying to be better each day than I was the day before, each day I've made some progress, and ANY amount of progress is okay! As long as you are working to make an effort, God is proud of you. 

There's a spot in camp that I like to go on Saturdays because it's really peaceful and quiet, and out of the way of other people. I go there to sit, think, and ponder. I go there when I'm in need of a break, or when I am just in need of time for me without other people. Since I'm alone, I talk to Heavenly Father out loud. It gets really emotional really fast, but it's really helpful for me to talk to Him about all of the things I'm going through because He completely understands. And the great thing is that even when I'm completely indecipherable or inconsolable, the peace of the water around me, the sounds of the birds–they all help bring me back to earth. 

I've learned a lot this summer. And I'm sure I still have more to learn. But I've learned that even when I don't feel Him, relying on my Heavenly Father keeps me grounded. I've learned that He's always blessing me–even when I don't always hear Him. I've learned that even when I feel like I don't make a difference, and when I feel unnoticed, I am making a difference–somehow, to someone, I am making a difference. It's true that I might not always be noticed, but more often than not I am noticed, and I am missed. 

I don't know what kind of impact I'm going to have on the world. Or even if I will have an impact on the world. But I do know this: the world is going to have an impact on me. And I can't wait to find it, and feel it. 

I hope you have a beautiful week!! I hope you find someone who needs your help and love, and I hope you find something new and special about yourself. 

Xoxo

Mattie

It's okay to be imperfect.

It's okay not to be perfect. In fact, it's okay to be IMperfect. Our Heavenly Father loves us as we are right now. Imperfections and all. But He also wants us to improve ourselves. We all have weaknesses. Some of them we can't fix by ourselves. We need His help. He has given us all the tools we need to be able to improve ourselves and work to be better people. One of the things that He has given us is His Son, Jesus Christ–our Savior. Our Savior knows what we are going through. He knows what we have gone through. He knows how to help us get through our trials. 

According to the Topical Guide, weakness is "the condition of being mortal and lacking ability, strength, or skill. Weakness is a state of being. All people are weak, and it is only by God's grace that they receive power to do righteous acts." In Ether 12:27, we are told that God gives us weakness to become humble, and if we humble ourselves and have faith, He will take our weaknesses and make them strengths. If we take our weaknesses to Him, and tell Him that we need help overcoming it, He will help us. He will help us make it into a strength. It might not always be what we were expecting, but it will be what we need, and sometimes it will be what others need from us. 

You might be asking, "How does this work? How does He use our weaknesses and turn them into strengths?" Well, I found an article that helps discuss just that! You can find it here, and I will share a few quotes and things from it for those of you who don't want to read it. ;)

"At first blush, it seems counterintuitive that the Lord would call upon the weak things of the earth to accomplish a mighty work. To appreciate why the Lord calls the weak, remember that the Lord says his work must be accomplished in His own way and by the power of His Spirit: His ways, in other words, not our ways. Those who perceive themselves to be “strong” do not turn wholeheartedly to the Lord for guidance. Instead, they rely on their own wisdom and their own understanding, “the arm of the flesh.” As a consequence, they are left to their own strength; and they will find in the end—to their dismay—that their strength is insufficient."

I love this! Sometimes I think the Lord uses our weaknesses, and other weak things, in order to prove that He is God–to prove that He can do all things. In Judges, God takes Gideon's army and downsizes it from 32,000 men to 300–and they won against an army of 135,000!! If that doesn't show the power and strength of obeying God, and the power and strength of something that appears weak but God has made strong, I don't know what does.

In the Book of Mormon, when the Nephites go to war against the Lamanites with the strength of the Lord, they always prevail. When they boast of their strengths, and forget the Lord, they fail.

There is a difference between humbly accepting your weaknesses...and just plain old tearing yourself down because you think you're not enough or you've just done things wrong. Stop tearing yourself down! I, too, am guilty of this, I am not going to lie. I have a problem with it. That is one of my weaknesses (and personally, I think it is one that everyone struggles with but I am not going to judge). When you get on your knees, and tell the Lord, honestly, and full of hope and faith, "I struggle with this. Will you help me?" He will help you. He loves when we turn to Him because that means that we are being humble! Knowing that we cannot do things on our own, and turning to Him for help is being humble! It's accepting that you can't do it by yourself, and you need the Lord's help.

God has a work for us to do...and He uses us in our weakness to strengthen those around us.

I have a new goal for myself. I am trying to focus on being worthy to go through the temple. I'm not sure when I will be ready to go through, but I am wanting to at least be worthy to go through for awhile before I actually go through. I have been thinking about it for awhile, but haven't really focused on it yet, and now I want to focus on it. I think that one thing that has been stressing me out about the future is that the only 'goal' I have so far to look forward to is one that I don't really have opportunities for right now. So, if I have this goal to work on, I have something to look forward to. I have something to work towards.

I'm going back to Bear Lake today! I'm so excited! I've had a great week spending time with my family. It's been good to relax, and I'm excited to go back to work! The rest of the summer is going to be so fun!!

I hope you have a wonderful week!! And I hope that you know that God loves you so much and He wants what's best for you!!

Xoxo
Mattie

Life is meant for learning who you are.

This week I'm home for the Fourth of July!! I am so excited!! I'm grateful to have an opportunity to rest and relax, and spend time with my family! And I was able to see a bunch of friends from my ward at Cinnamon Tree this weekend and it was SO good to see them!! I really miss them!!

I'm so thankful for the opportunity I have to be working at Bear Lake this summer! It has been a real blast so far!! Difficult, yes. Trying, yes. But...it's super fun–the other staffers are great, and we have a lot of amazing times together. :)

I am so thankful for my Savior, and all that He has done for me. Since I've been at camp, some of my struggles have gone down a lot. They're still there, of course, but since I'm busy every day (and tired every day lol), and I've got a lot of things to do when I'm not working (reading, listening to music, writing, eating, watching movies or shows, talking with my friends up at camp, etc.), I am able to march through, and I'm able to stay strong.

I love the peace that I find at Bear Lake, and I love the spirit that I feel–there's an amazing feeling that I just can't describe. Reading the scriptures in the morning while the sun rises has been such a wonderful experience. There are several answers that I am hoping to receive this summer, and I am so thankful that I get to be out in nature, feeling peace, and the Spirit, and trying to figure things out–who I am, where I'm going, what I want to do with my life, why I am where I am when I am.

Humans desire and crave connections with other people. But we also crave a more spiritual connection–with the world, with God–with whatever you believe in. I am so thankful to be able to have the opportunity to spend time in nature this summer, and to feel my testimony grow, and to become more comfortable in who I am. That's what life is about, right? Learning to find and be comfortable with yourself.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this week, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the summer. I've already learned a lot about myself and I am excited to see what else I am going to be learning about myself, and about life in general.

An awesome God, wonderful adventures, fantastic family, and loving friends are all beautiful additions to–nay, are the reason for this amazing life that I call mine. I hope you all have a wonderful week!! <3

Xoxo
Mattie