Moments.

Despite the challenges we have been facing as we try to start our family, we continue to experience moments of hope, along with moments of heartache. Some news we received this past week was not what we had hoped it would be. As a result, I have had an emotionally and spiritually draining week as I tried to deal with my emotions, connect with Heavenly Father, and figure out what is next for not only me, but our little family. My thoughts have kept turning to a few things Ricky and I are discussing for the future, and I am just so grateful for his love and support during this difficult trial.

Path to personal peace.

In the April 2023 General Conference, President Henry B. Eyring gave a talk entitled "Finding Personal Peace". We discussed this talk in Relief Society today. It was so enlightening to discuss and hear others' thoughts on President Eyring's talk.

President Eyring starts his talk by recounting the Savior's words about peace, and how He gives us peace, from the book of John in chapter 14:15-27. Here is the passage that he shares:

“If ye love me, keep my commandments.

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

“Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

“Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.

“At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

“Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?

“Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

“He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father’s which sent me.

“These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you.

“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

President Eyring then goes on to discuss how he found five truths from this passage of the Savior's teachings. As we read and discussed the five truths that President Eyring found, I kept going back to my April 2023. During that time (March/April), I was having a difficult time. I kept thinking about Jesse, and how, if I hadn't experienced my miscarriage, I would have been having my baby around that time. It was an especially hard time because a few people close to me had announced pregnancies and it was emotionally challenging for me to watch them experience something I wasn't able to (because I lost my baby) during the time when I would have been getting ready to give birth.

For months previously, I had been asking Heavenly Father for peace, and felt and heard nothing at the time. I was frustrated, sad, heartbroken, lonely, and trying desperately to not ruin the pregnancies of the ones close to me. Fast forward to General Conference. One of the questions I was wanting to focus on getting an answer for during conference was  peace and comfort, and to finally start healing. I was tired of walking around on eggshells because every little thing would make me cry. 

As the first session of conference occurred, I was feeling good, because I had heard so many little things that I loved. But when President Eyring (the final speaker of the session) stood up and began to speak, I felt overwhelmed with the Spirit and knew I needed to listen. As I listened to President Eyring, I was watching and listening, glued to the screen, taking in this dear Apostle of the Lord's words. When he said, "Some of you, perhaps many, are not feeling the peace the Lord promised. You may have prayed for personal peace and spiritual comfort. Yet you may feel that the heavens are silent to your pleading for peace", I knew this talk was for me. I felt in my heart, "This is for you. You are not alone. I am with you."

As Relief Society closed today, I shared this special story. I got a little emotional during my comment, but it was healing to share my experience around this talk that was special to me for several reasons: 1) because it was an answer to my prayer, and 2) because when you share experiences, you remember more details, and you can find new insights.

My path to personal peace is not what I expected it to be, but it is exactly what I need it to be. I'm grateful for the healing that I have experienced in this past year. I know there is more to do, but I am grateful for how far I have come.

I hope this week is a good one for you! I have a few fun things planned for this week and I am looking forward to getting a lot of work done as well!

God loves you and I do too!

Xoxo Mattie

The refiner's fire is truly an holy experience that draws one closer to God.

It has been too long since I have updated my blog. It has been a crazy few months, but I have done a lot of thinking and taking time to try and make sense of my emotions, feelings, and what God wants for me. 

Last year, before I found out I was no longer pregnant, I did some math and put my due date around the end of March/beginning of April. For the first couple of months this year, I thought about Jesse all the time. It was really, really hard to try and move forward. I had been praying for peace for months. I was so exhausted emotionally–it was so hard because I was trying to move on, but then every moment reminded me of my sweet angel. Every time I turned around, someone I knew (or even didn't know personally) was announcing they were expecting, or announcing the birth of their baby. Every baby I came across was another reminder of our loss. Of what we were excited for and almost had. 

On Good Friday in April, right before Easter Sunday, I went to the temple to do some temple work and to hopefully get an answer, or at least a form of relief. I had a lot on my mind at the time, and I was so grateful to be able to just sit in the temple. I sat in the temple for almost an hour after I was finished with the endowment session, just thinking, pondering, and looking for an answer. When the answer and peace that followed finally came, I was so happy. The answer I received wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it was exactly what I needed. 

I have been blessed with peace of mind and and in my heart. Though I still yearn for a child of my own, and my heart aches at times, I no longer cry nearly as often, nor as hard, as I did prior to my experience in the temple that weekend. 

I have had a much easier time moving forward since that personal revelation and enlightening experience. I am still reminded of Jesse, and I still experience moments and periods of sadness, but I have seen blessings in my life as a result of that experience. I no longer have multiple days a week where I experience really difficult and emotional days that end in tears. 

I thought Mother's Day would be really difficult for me, and I was expecting to have an overwhelmingly emotional day. But the peace I felt that day is when I really knew that Heavenly Father had answered my prayers because it would have been my first Mother's Day as a mother, and experiencing a miscarriage was so emotionally taxing. But it (Mother's Day) wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I did feel a little sad, but overall, I felt a lot of peace, and for that I am grateful. 

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His Love is More.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity I had to attend Relief Society today. I'm reminded of two weeks ago when I almost didn't go because I wasn't feeling the best after sacrament meeting, but when I saw it was Relief Society, the Spirit whispered, "Stay." So I did. And how grateful I am. We discussed President Nelson's talk from General Conference "Overcome the World and Find Rest", and what a blessing the discussion was. For some, the holiday season can be tiring and stressful. Our discussion was enlightening and I received several answers and personal revelation. I am so, so grateful for Relief Society, and for the wonderful bond of sisterhood that I have been able to experience in the wards that I have resided in.

From draining to uplifting.

I've had an insane week. In all aspects of the word. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It's been DRAINING. I've been stressed about a lot of things, including a prompting that I received last week. But I have done so much this week to try and receive answers.

On Friday I went to see my therapist and we discussed a lot about how I feel very much like there are too many paths for me to choose from. But after much discussion, it clarified that Heavenly Father is there to guide me. When I make choices, I can tell Him the choice I made and ask Him for guidance. He can't make the choice for me, and I knew that, but sometimes I think I forget that just having a bunch of different "maybes" isn't making a choice.

Yesterday I went to the temple with a friend and ran into more friends at the temple. It was an amazing experience and I am so grateful that I was able to go. It brought peace to my life to be at the temple, and it led me to more answers. It also confirmed that I needed to make a choice. 

So today I made a decision. I made a decision as to what I'm going to do and I asked Heavenly Father to let me know if that wasn't what He wanted for me. So I'm waiting for confirmation of my decision but in the meantime, I am not going to worry about any of the other paths–I'm going to focus on finishing school and graduating, as well as focusing on the parts of my decision that I can do right now. So I'm going to keep looking for full-time job opportunities and I'm going to keep reading my scriptures and going to the temple and I'm going to try to gain as much spiritual growth as I can. 

Four Blessings of the Temple, by Harold Glen Clark:"First, the light and knowledge promised by the Father may come to us in the temple through the agency of the Holy Ghost. 
A second great blessing the temple offers us is instruction in the requirements of personal righteousness. 
A third blessing of the temple is that it serves as a place where we are taught our responsibility for others.
A fourth blessing of the temple is receiving the knowledge that we are a part of a great cause.”

So grateful for the love and peace that I have felt as I’ve read the scriptures and gone to the temple this semester––as well as my entire time here at BYU. It has been such a blessing for me and my testimony. Even though I have not always been the best at reading my scriptures or going to the temple as often as I would have liked, I tried my best and I know that Heavenly Father is proud of my efforts. I hope that I can continue to make Him proud as I move forward in my life trying to apply all the principles I’ve learned in my life and as I try to better myself each and every day. I am not perfect, so all I can do is try. And that is all that He asks of me.

I know that He loves me. I know that He sent His Son to die for us. I know that as I go to the temple regularly, I will gain more knowledge, peace, light, comfort, and instruction. I don’t know exactly what the future holds for me, but I know that God is going to be with me. 

Xoxo
Mattie

I hope I make Him proud.

Yesterday I went to the temple with some friends and I was able to take some family names to do, and it was so special! One of the things that stood out to me as I was sitting there listening to the ordinance workers was how much God loves me and wants me to be the best that I can be. As I am honest, true, and faithful to my covenants, I will be blessed–in this life, and in the life to come. That fills me with such peace and comfort. Life might not always go how I want it to go, but I know that everything God has promised me will eventually be available to me.

One of the blessings of doing temple work for my own family names is that I am helping my own family to come closer to God, and to come closer to having the blessings of being sealed to our family forever. It is so inspiring to know that my family has waited a long time for the blessings of the temple–and I am the one who gets to help them receive those blessings! I know that they are grateful for the time I take to help them receive the blessings of the temple, and I am grateful for the opportunity I have to do their work for them. 

This is an older picture that I took of the Provo City Center temple last year, but it's one of my favorites. I really love this temple, and I am so grateful that I live so close. I haven't always been the best at going to the temple as often as I could be going, but I am wanting to do better, and I am trying to do better. I know that God blesses me as I take time from my busy schedule to go to the temple, and to do the work for those who cannot do it for themselves.

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Sometimes I don't always know what I believe. Sometimes I struggle with different things...but one thing that I know and that has never been something that I have doubted is my faith in my Savior and my Father in Heaven. No matter what goes on in life...no matter what I struggle with...They have always been there. I have always had my Savior with me, and I have always been able to count on my Father in Heaven. The most important thing to me is my relationship with Them. People come and go...sometimes people come into and out of my life faster than you can say, "Hello"...but Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father are always there. Their love for me, and Their trust and belief in me, is constant and enduring. It is never more clear to me than when I am in the temple.

I have been able to receive many answers and blessings through the temple, and because of my time in the temple. My day and week are blessed after I go to the temple. Answers that would just not come before...come after. Motivation that just would not come...comes. Stress that has been overwhelming...disappears. I know that I am blessed when I visit the house of the Lord. 

I know that I am not perfect...but I hope that what I offer to Heavenly Father is enough. I try to make a difference in the lives of those around me by being kind, and I hope that I make Him proud every day. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I know that I will–my birthday is this week!! I don't have any specific plans but I know that it is going to be a great day! Remember that you are always loved by God, and that I love you too! Happy Sunday! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Blessings of the temple.

I am SO BLESSED!!! I was able to go through the Provo City Center temple yesterday and it was SO WONDERFUL!! I was able to have many friends and family there with me and it was such a special time!! The whole day was beautiful and I am so grateful that I was able to go through with my loved ones.

I am so blessed to have had some of the most amazing examples in my life, who have loved me in my weaknesses, and who have pushed me in my anxieties and worries, and who have helped me to go and be above and beyond who I currently am and helped me see who I can become. I am grateful for those in my life who have supported me in all my endeavors, and who have helped me see beyond this life–beyond the frustrations, beyond the unhappy moments. I am grateful for those who have helped me see and remember that my Savior is there for me. He is always there. So when I'm feeling lonesome or sad and no one is around...I can always turn to Him. I've been so blessed to be able to have not only friends and family to turn to, but my Savior, and my Father in Heaven.

Sometimes there are parts of life that don't always go as planned. Sometimes people aren't who you think they are. Sometimes this causes sadness or disappointment. That's okay. It's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to feel sad. But we need to stand up. Brush off the negativity. And walk tall. Because YOU are a child of God. YOU are loved beyond measure. YOU are full of potential. YOU are someone that God can count on. YOU are one of God's warriors and He has an amazing plan for you!

I am really excited for this school semester! I'm almost done with college! I have six months left and I can't believe it! I have really been blessed during this time in my life. I have learned so much and grown in so many ways and I am really excited to finish this chapter in my life and start the next one. I've been able to realize some things about myself, and about some goals I have, and it has been a little scary at times, but ultimately, I've been able to take these realizations and use them to better myself, and to focus more on where I want to go in life.

I know that God loves me. I know that He loves you. I know that as you trust in Him, He will bless you. I know that when we do His will, and when we follow the Holy Ghost, that we will be blessed with love, power, and understanding. I know that as we bless the lives of those around us, God will use us more and more to serve and bless His children on earth–our brothers and sisters.

God is great, you guys. The temple is special and I am so blessed to have been able to go through. I know that Jesus Christ suffered and died for me, and I know that He is with me every day. I know that the more I go to the temple, the more I will understand, and the more peace that it will bring to me.

Last week was a little crazy, but I know that this week will be a lot better because I went to the temple yesterday!! My friend said, "The temple always makes life better" and she is 100% correct!! I am so blessed to have gone through the temple and am so grateful for the love and peace that I've felt in my life since yesterday. God is so wonderful, you guys. I love Him so much and am so grateful for Him!! 💜💜💜

Hope you have a wonderful week!! Take things one day at a time! Life's a lot easier that way!

Xoxo
Mattie

Keep yourself anchored to God.

This week was kinda crazy but only because it's almost the end of the season and I'm so, so, SO tired!!

I had some deep moments this week. I wrote some poems about my summer here, and about my depression, and I was able to get a blessing Friday because of a horrible pain on the back of my head. 

I learned a lot this week, actually. I learned that you give something to this world that no one else can. In the blessing, Brian said that I've given a lot to this camp because of who I am, and the things that I've done, and he said something about the love I've given. After the blessing he also said I've changed a lot this summer. I do know that I have changed in at least a few ways, and I am so, so, SO thankful for this summer!! I'm grateful for this experience and for the love I've been able to feel from my Heavenly Father this summer!! I'm grateful for the people He's put in my life this summer and for the impact they've had on me!!! I hope I've had just as much of an impact on them!! 💜💜💜

I know that I've become more comfortable with being by myself. I also know that I've been working more on my testimony, and I know that God is there. I know that I've been trying to be kinder, and even though I've messed up a lot, I think on the whole I've been better about that. I've been trying to be healthier. I've been trying to better accept and understand myself. I've been trying to grow. I've been trying to be a better person, and I hope that I am at least a better person than I was at the start of the summer. 

I had an amazing experience and couple weeks ago on the Wilderness Survival Overnighter and I wanted to share the thoughts I had before I went to sleep. 

July 26: There is nothing like a peaceful night in the woods in a hammock. A light, cool breeze, the moon shining bright above you, a trickling brook or stream, and crickets off in the distance. So beautiful. A reminder of the existence of God, the beauty of nature, and that all the things I'm stressing about don't really matter in the long run. Life finds a way to correct our mistakes and bring us right where we're supposed to be. I thank God that I'm learning more and more this summer about things I need to improve in and on. He knew I needed this summer...He knew I needed a lot of the staff I've met here. He knew that a lot of them needed me. I don't know why, because I really don't think I'm doing anything out of the ordinary, but apparently it's a thing. Anyway, God knows what we need. Even when we don't. And sometimes we think He isn't speaking to us, but think about this: what if His way of speaking to you is letting you try and focus, and grow, and make goals, and try to improve yourself, and be kind to others. And sometimes when you look back, you realize He was there. And you realize that He prompted you. Sometimes promptings aren't obvious–sometimes promptings are just quiet little thoughts you have about improving or serving.

I've really been trying to understand this summer. I've really been trying to hear Him. I've been thinking about my plans after I graduate and I really have wanted to hear what He has to say but I haven't heard anything specific yet. And that's okay. I'm going to try to do some research when I get back home and then I'll try again. I know He's listening...I just need to have faith, trust Him, and keep going. 

I've been reading in 1st Nephi (for what seems like forever. I keep forgetting where I am so I think I've been rereading the same spot sometimes 😂) and in chapter 8, which is when Lehi is describing his vision of the Tree of Life, verse 30, Nephi says, "But, to be short in writing {every time I read this, I think, "Too late!" because it reminds me of the movie Clue 😂}, behold, he saw other multitudes pressing forward; and they came and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree." The iron rod is the word of God, and as long as we press forward, clinging to His word, we will be okay. I've noticed the last couple weeks that my days are better when I've been reading. I've been trying to read my scriptures in the morning before work, and if that doesn't go as planned, then I'll read before bed. And it has helped me immensely. I've been at peace more, my mornings have gone smoother, and I've been able to feel and see His love every day.

I've been amazed this summer at just how much my Heavenly Father knows me, and knows what I needed. I totally could have not taken this job this summer. But I'm glad I did. I've learned a lot, and grown a lot, and I've found new ways to deal with things differently than I ever have before. And I'm full of gratitude and love for my Savior and my Heavenly Father, and for this beautiful world that we live in. 

"For depression has no power over me. 

—It comes and goes, as feelings do

And some days it is so deep

But I have found it's better to 

Feel it, and let it seep

Out, than to bury it, and to 

Let it grow. No one wants to reap

The depression you have sewn."

~Excerpt from A Labyrinth of Feelings, by Mattie Radke

This summer has been good for me. I've learned how to better deal with my anxiety and depression, and I've learned I'm not alone. 

I can't believe this week is my last week!! It's gonna be a bittersweet week but I'm going to try to make the most of it!! 💜💜💜

God loves you, and I do too!! Thank you for being you!! Have a great week!! 

Xoxo

Mattie 

Life is meant for learning who you are.

This week I'm home for the Fourth of July!! I am so excited!! I'm grateful to have an opportunity to rest and relax, and spend time with my family! And I was able to see a bunch of friends from my ward at Cinnamon Tree this weekend and it was SO good to see them!! I really miss them!!

I'm so thankful for the opportunity I have to be working at Bear Lake this summer! It has been a real blast so far!! Difficult, yes. Trying, yes. But...it's super fun–the other staffers are great, and we have a lot of amazing times together. :)

I am so thankful for my Savior, and all that He has done for me. Since I've been at camp, some of my struggles have gone down a lot. They're still there, of course, but since I'm busy every day (and tired every day lol), and I've got a lot of things to do when I'm not working (reading, listening to music, writing, eating, watching movies or shows, talking with my friends up at camp, etc.), I am able to march through, and I'm able to stay strong.

I love the peace that I find at Bear Lake, and I love the spirit that I feel–there's an amazing feeling that I just can't describe. Reading the scriptures in the morning while the sun rises has been such a wonderful experience. There are several answers that I am hoping to receive this summer, and I am so thankful that I get to be out in nature, feeling peace, and the Spirit, and trying to figure things out–who I am, where I'm going, what I want to do with my life, why I am where I am when I am.

Humans desire and crave connections with other people. But we also crave a more spiritual connection–with the world, with God–with whatever you believe in. I am so thankful to be able to have the opportunity to spend time in nature this summer, and to feel my testimony grow, and to become more comfortable in who I am. That's what life is about, right? Learning to find and be comfortable with yourself.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this week, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the summer. I've already learned a lot about myself and I am excited to see what else I am going to be learning about myself, and about life in general.

An awesome God, wonderful adventures, fantastic family, and loving friends are all beautiful additions to–nay, are the reason for this amazing life that I call mine. I hope you all have a wonderful week!! <3

Xoxo
Mattie

Ask and ye shall receive.

As always, here's some thoughts I had during the sacrament today: 

Some of my friends in the ward and I had the opportunity to go down to Manti yesterday for the Manti pageant. We also–before the pageant–went to the temple. I did some confirmations and then just sat in the chapel, thinking about some questions that I have had. I didn't really get any specific answers yet, but I felt like I needed to fast today, so I am fasting for a few things. I am hoping I will receive some answers in church today. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to sit in the temple and think. I honestly received just a lot of peace and a few messages I needed to hear. I'm grateful for the chances that I have to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I'm grateful that He trusts me to do the right things, even when I have messed up.

Sacrament meeting was GREAT! Kiera, one of my roommates, spoke in church today, and she gave me some of the answers that I needed to hear. :) She talked about Agency and Freedom
 -We can never go wrong when we choose to follow the Savior
-No matter what is going on, we can turn and look to our Savior, who will help us start again.
-Men are that they might have joy (This was an answer that I was looking for! If it's right, and makes me happy, why shouldn't I do it?)
-We all have the choice to be happy. Just because something bad happens, that doesn't mean you can't (make the choice to) be happy.

Gospel Doctrine was awesome! Clarissa is such an amazing teacher! 25/10, would recommend. :) The lesson was on "Seek learning, even by study and also by faith".
-We talked about how we have to prepare for our church meetings.
-In order to change the world you have to stretch yourself; you have to learn.
-If you're not willing to put time into your education, nothing will happen.
-People need you to put forth your effort now so you can do so later when it's needed.

Relief Society was great! Here are some of my favorite messages:
-We need to get to the point where we believe He can. Where we believe Him (when He says we are forgiven, or loved, or that we can be forgiven, we can return, etc.)
-God will take care of you. Just put your trust in Him.
-He loves you and wants you to be happy.
-You need to learn how to see yourself through God's eyes.

I loved the lessons today. I received a lot of peace and answers to some of the questions that I had and wanted to focus on as I was fasting. I'm grateful for those in the ward who listen to the Spirit and I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with the messages and answers that I received today. I'm grateful for the chance I had to go to the temple yesterday, and to see the Manti pageant. I'm grateful for the chance I have to go to church, and for the chance I have to learn more about my Savior, and to help my friends learn more about Him.

I'm grateful for this fun weekend and hope that this week will also be quite fun. I hope that you have a great rest of the day and a wonderful week!

Xoxo
Mattie

What does God want me to learn from this?

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend and I was saying how I wished I had a job and also how I was super worried about college because I haven't heard back from any of my colleges (and one college I applied to a couple of my friends also applied to and they have already heard back) and how no one wants me to be productive. I didn't tell my friend, but I was crying because the idea of the future–which is unknown–is frightening to me, and I'm so scared I'll never get a job or get into college (also because I'm just a crybaby haha), and also I'm still depressed that I didn't get into the talent show again. Well, my friend said, 'Listen Mattie, think of it like this, don't ask "why do I not have a job right now?" ask "what does God want me to learn from this?"' He also said that "pearls given are rocks, pearls earned are priceless", meaning that finding things out for ourselves is a much sweeter reward than just being given the answers.
He also gave me this poem:

"My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me,
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow,
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I, the underside.
Not till the loom in silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned."
(Unknown)

And I thought, "Sure, these are great words, but I'm still so scared and I don't know what to do." And I follow this blog that I go on reading splurges–when I first found it, I read the blog posts for hours and then I didn't really read any more until yesterday when I went on another splurge–and I was reading it yesterday and she said some things that hit home. God will always send us what we need. He sends us who we need, and He sends them when we need it. Never before we're ready. He only sends us answers when we are ready for them. And I love that. Sometimes, the answers are not what we want or expect, and so if we receive them before we are ready, we won't understand. We need to be humbled before God can give us the answers that we need and will be able to understand. We may not always understand why He gave us the answers He did, but we will be humbler and more ready for the answers. We need to humble ourselves and look for the answer; only then will God reveal His answer and plan to us (in pieces). He doesn't just give us the answers; I saw this thing that said, "The teacher is quiet during the test", and it's true. God doesn't just hand out answers willy-nilly. We need to work hard for them. I know that He loves us, and I know that He will help us if we ask Him to. So, to answer my question, "What does God want me to learn from this?" Right now, I don't know what He wants me to learn. But I am definitely going to find out soon.

April Conference.

Conference was so good! I had a couple of questions that I received some answers for. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

So glad I was able to watch conference last week! I know The Lord answered my prayers and questions with some of the talks that were given.