He believes in me.

Camp is over! I am now home! Yesterday was exhausting physically and emotionally. I am so sad to have left all my friends but am so excited to be moving forward with my life. It was a great experience and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I was pondering a question this week. Why do I believe in God? Honestly, I believe in God because He has blessed my life in so many ways. Through the people I have met, and the experiences I've had, I have seen His hand in my life. There have been times I wondered if He was really there, or even listening, but I had faith and hope that He is and was, and somehow that was enough.

I know He is there, and I know He listens. No one knows and loves you better than Him. I believe in God because He believes in me.

I had this thought the other day: Peace comes in many forms. Pain comes in many forms. Sometimes they are one and the same. But no matter what, God will always be there. He will be there to give you peace, and He will be there to help alleviate the pain. It might not always go away, but He will be there to support and lift you.

I honestly don't know how to describe how I know He is there. I just know.

Last week, I had the opportunity to go to the Star Party for the first time all summer, and it was AMAZING!! The sky was so beautiful and the stars were just gorgeous! I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to spend the whole summer at Bear Lake!! It was just such a wonderful experience! Each day was a beautiful adventure! Just look at this view!!

Bear Lake from Camp Hunt - August 11, 2018

I'm so, so, so grateful for my Heavenly Father. I know that He made this summer possible. I know that all of the people that I met this summer were people that I needed in my life. I know that I needed the clarity of mind that comes from being at peace in nature to try and make some goals to help make my life a little better. 

I know that I needed the experience of being accepted COMPLETELY for who I am to give me the confidence that I need to go out into the world and be myself. I know that I was needed by some of the people at camp. I know that everyone needed my (mostly) positive outlook on life, and I know that they all needed the love that I tried to give them. I know that God trusts me, and believes in me. He gave me quite the summer experience in which I did a lot of hard things. He put so many of His children into my life this summer, and He entrusted me with making sure they felt–and feel–loved. I hope I was able to fulfill His expectations of me this summer.

I know that somehow this summer was exactly what I expected, and yet, it was NOTHING like what I expected. And I know that's how God works. We have all these expectations from Him, or from life, and nothing ever goes exactly how we expect it to; except, somehow, having nothing go how we expected it to was exactly what we expected. 

I might not know what this whole next year has in store for me, but I do know this: it's going to be an adventure, and I'm going to have God on my side. 

I hope these last couple weeks before school starts are full of fun for you guys!! I know I'm going to have a lot of fun! 

God loves you, I love you, and YOU MATTER. Don't forget that. You are needed in this world. You give something to this world that no one else can give. 

Xoxo

Mattie

He will find a way to reach you.

What a week it's been!! I had the opportunity to be a troop friend this week!! So that was super exciting! Our troop was really fun and the boys were such a riot!! It was such a good experience!! For the first time in awhile I felt like I had a purpose. And at the end of the week, one of their leaders talked to Cora and I, thanking us for what we did for the boys. It was awesome! I'm so grateful for the opportunity.

This weekend was fun too because I got to go out of town with some friends to see The Incredibles 2! We went to Logan and it was so nice to be out of camp for several hours! It was nice to not be needed or asked, "Hey, Mattie, can I do [this thing in the kitchen]?" It was great. :)

The last couple weeks I've been focusing on trying to find myself, and trying to find my purpose. I've been thinking a lot about the upcoming school year, and my plans after graduation. It's been kind of stressful, I'm not gonna lie. But! I've realized something this week. I realized that whatever happens, happens. I realized that I'm just going to have to make decisions, and go with them. God will direct me when the decisions I've made aren't going to lead me where He wants me to go. 

I've also been feeling a little lonely the last couple of weeks. I don't know why, but I have. And I've realized that God knows me, and is watching out for me. I mean, I got to be a troop friend this week!! And I got to go to the Honor Trail with them this week, and that was a very special experience. I've been able to fill my time, and I've been able to feel at peace with being by myself (most of the time). I know that God loves me and is watching out for me. Each day, something happens that reminds me that He knows me, loves me, blesses me, and teaches me. 

I had the opportunity to see the sunrise from a canoe this week. It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I took a lot of pictures and I got some really amazing ones. But the thing that was the best about the experience was that sunrises are exactly like how Heavenly Father speaks to and teaches us. It can be very, very gradual, and you don't notice it all the time, until suddenly, you hear Him. Or feel Him. Or see His lesson. Or recognize His promises. Sometimes you won't always feel it, or recognize it. But He will find a way to reach you. He knows what touches you, and lifts you up, and He will find a way to make sure you that you know you are not alone, and that you know He hears you. 

I am so blessed! I'm blessed to be a daughter of God. I'm blessed to have a Savior who loves me so much. I'm blessed to have wonderful friends and family. I'm blessed to be able to learn and grow. I'm blessed to be able to serve. 

God has a lot in store for me, and though I don't know what's ahead of me, I'm looking forward to see where life takes me. 

I hope you have a wonderful week! I love you all and am so grateful for you!! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Life is meant for learning who you are.

This week I'm home for the Fourth of July!! I am so excited!! I'm grateful to have an opportunity to rest and relax, and spend time with my family! And I was able to see a bunch of friends from my ward at Cinnamon Tree this weekend and it was SO good to see them!! I really miss them!!

I'm so thankful for the opportunity I have to be working at Bear Lake this summer! It has been a real blast so far!! Difficult, yes. Trying, yes. But...it's super fun–the other staffers are great, and we have a lot of amazing times together. :)

I am so thankful for my Savior, and all that He has done for me. Since I've been at camp, some of my struggles have gone down a lot. They're still there, of course, but since I'm busy every day (and tired every day lol), and I've got a lot of things to do when I'm not working (reading, listening to music, writing, eating, watching movies or shows, talking with my friends up at camp, etc.), I am able to march through, and I'm able to stay strong.

I love the peace that I find at Bear Lake, and I love the spirit that I feel–there's an amazing feeling that I just can't describe. Reading the scriptures in the morning while the sun rises has been such a wonderful experience. There are several answers that I am hoping to receive this summer, and I am so thankful that I get to be out in nature, feeling peace, and the Spirit, and trying to figure things out–who I am, where I'm going, what I want to do with my life, why I am where I am when I am.

Humans desire and crave connections with other people. But we also crave a more spiritual connection–with the world, with God–with whatever you believe in. I am so thankful to be able to have the opportunity to spend time in nature this summer, and to feel my testimony grow, and to become more comfortable in who I am. That's what life is about, right? Learning to find and be comfortable with yourself.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this week, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the summer. I've already learned a lot about myself and I am excited to see what else I am going to be learning about myself, and about life in general.

An awesome God, wonderful adventures, fantastic family, and loving friends are all beautiful additions to–nay, are the reason for this amazing life that I call mine. I hope you all have a wonderful week!! <3

Xoxo
Mattie