Letter of gratitude and love.

Dear Reader,
If you're reading this, this either means that you are either a friend, or a family member, or a nice random person who follows my blog. [If you're the latter, thank you so much! :)]

Today is Saturday August 22nd, 2015. I know it's late, but I realized earlier today that this weekend is my last weekend at home!! I move out next Wednesday.  You may question: Am I super excited? Can I wait? Am I a little sad? (Answers to come shortly)

Before I go, I have to say something (I was going to post this Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, but I couldn't wait).

18 years is a long time. I've lived in five homes, two of which were in Provo when I was little, and two of which were in Orem up until I was 14 years old. The most recent home is here in Lehi. Though I do not really remember the homes in Provo, I most definitely remember the Orem homes and, obviously, Lehi. I've been to four schools, two of which were in Orem and two of which were here in Lehi.

In all that time, I have met so many people. They have all taught me so many things. If you would like to read a detailed version of my gratitude for people in my life, click here. I should mention that it is literally detailed. It is way, way, waaay long, and if you don't want to read it after you look at it, I don't blame you. But just in case you want to, it is there for you.

Now–I am so, so, so grateful for everyone in my home neighborhoods–both Lehi and Orem. I have learned so much and grown so much because of all of the people that I have come in contact with. Everyone has taught me a valuable lesson, whether they knew it or not–whether I knew it or not. I have had so many angels in my life, especially within the last three or so years. They have been anchors and strengths to me, and I'm so grateful for them. I never knew that so many people could touch my life in so many different ways, but it's possible. <3

I have never felt so much love for all of my friends and family until now. There are so many things I'm going to miss.

I'm going to miss getting together with my girl friends whenever a school dance was coming up and having a movie night. We had such fun!! I love those girls so much!!
I'm going to miss getting to be around my family all the time.
I'm going to miss getting to watch Porter and Lander grow up.
I'm going to miss lunchtime. I pretty much was a bouncy ball, traveling to friends because I wanted to see them and I missed them. (Also because I was literally bouncy. It's so much fun!)
I'm going to miss young women's. I love those girls so, so much!! They're all such sweethearts and they're going to be amazing mothers someday. <3
I'm going to miss seeing my friends every day/every other day. You get used to seeing them so often very fast, and when it's suddenly not happening, your world turns upside down. It's quite disconcerting.
I'm going to miss knowing people everywhere I go, or mostly everywhere I go. BYU is a big school, and I'm probably not going to see people that I currently know all that often, so I'm going to need to make new friends (which is hard for me. Please pray for me).
I'm going to miss my dad's weird sense of humor.
I'm going to miss all the times that all of us kids get along together, and we watch a movie, or quote a movie together, or have a singing/dancing session/marathon, or when we just talked and laughed.
I'm going to miss babysitting all the cute kids in my ward. They're so cute and I always enjoy watching them because they're so cute!!! I'm going to miss that.
Most of all, I'm going to miss having my mom around.
I'm going to miss her always being right there for me when I need her.

To answer your questions: Yes, I'm super excited, and yes, I can't wait, but yes, I'm a little sad.

Life is going to change so much for me in a few days.

Sometimes I'm ready for it.

Right now?

Right now, I'm going to miss what I have now, but yes–I am excited. Though I will be having to adjust to new changes, there is one thing that I do not have to adjust to. Because one thing that is never going to change ever is my Savior. He will always be with me. He will always be there for me, and He is always going to love me. I know that I don't have to get through this without Him, and I'm so grateful for that. I love Him so much and I know that He loves me.

Thank you for always being there. Thanks for reading, thanks for being supportive, thanks for the love, and thanks for being my friend. Please, don't ever forget me. I'm always here for you, even if we never talk. Thanks for everything. <3

Love,
Mattie

If you do your best, He will make up the rest.

I finished packing most of my clothes today!! A lady in my ward came over and helped me, and we fit a ton of stuff that I wouldn't have been able to fit into my suitcase had I done it by myself. I have a few pieces of clothing that I will be packing in a smaller suitcase, along with a lot of the stuff that I am currently using. 

I decided yesterday that the wait is mostly what's killing me about this big new step called College. 

Now that I'm pretty much done with most of my packing, I'm feeling very excited about moving. It's weird because school doesn't start until the 31st, but I move out next week, and it's especially weird because I keep thinking about it in two different mindsets: a) school doesn't start till the end of the month; and 2) I move out next week. It's all very confusifying. I don't even understand it myself.

Anyway...

Tonight I was reading in Jarom and it says in the first chapter and ninth verse that, "Inasmuch as ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land." This means that you will be blessed for keeping the commandments. I know that this is true. I've seen it in my own life, and I'm grateful that the Lord blesses me for trying to do my best. 

When I fail (because I do fail; often, actually), I get really sad and kind of mad at myself. Why? Because I know that I: 1) hurt someone in the process (either myself or someone else, and the Lord); and b) disappointed not only myself, but my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I'm trying really hard to do the best I can, but sometimes I fall short. It's comforting to know that if I do my best, He will make up the rest. I know He loves me. I know He died for me and for you. I know that He will help you with anything you need help with. I know that He is always there for you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.