Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.

My first week of my senior year of college is done!! It looks like it's going to be a good semester! Busy, yes, but good! I've been feeling a little under the weather the last couple of days, so that hasn't been fun, but I've been able to rest a lot this weekend, so that has helped a lot.

I've learned a lot this week!! In a lot of different aspects, but especially in the spiritual aspect. I've learned that God blesses you when you are trying to do your best. I have been trying to read my scriptures every day this week, and that made it easier to get through this first week of school, especially with me being under the weather. I have also been able to depend on my friends this week. That has been such a blessing. My roommate was able to give me a ride home from the concert I went to on Friday, and I was able to get a ride to and from my friend's reception yesterday from my friends who went to it as well. I was able to have some bonding time with my roommate this weekend, and that was fun. I have some adventures to look forward to this semester, and that makes me really excited! :)

This week has made me excited for the rest of the semester, but also a little nervous! Haha but I'm hoping that I'll be able to stay ahead of the game and that I'll be able to do my best. I am hoping that I won't need to do any homework on Sundays this year since I don't have classes on Fridays, and I can just work on my homework while I'm at work (#blessthecomputerlab), and then I can finish anything I don't get done on Saturdays. I know that God is looking out for me because I just felt like I needed more hours for homework last winter and so I tried to make sure that I would get more hours for homework this semester and it has worked really well so far! I finished all of Monday's homework and half of Tuesday's homework yesterday! So I'm going to try really hard to keep up with homework  this semester. And I'm going to make time for studying my scriptures each day.

I got a blessing earlier this week and in the blessing, I was told that Heavenly Father loves me so much, and as I turn to Him, He will help me with any trials I have. And as I try to be healthy, I will feel better and be healthier. I have seen that a little bit already, and I am excited to see it throughout the rest of the semester.

I'm really, really grateful for the things I've been through this week. They've helped me realize that God is looking out for me. I am so excited to see what this semester (and year!) will bring me!!

He takes you as you are.

What a week! I was working on getting all the important things off my computer so I could get a new one, which I was able to get yesterday! I am so excited! The screen is so big and it runs way faster! I am excited to use it!
It's also been kind of an emotional week. I've been sick and not feeling well, and I've also been extremely tired, even when I have gotten more than enough sleep, so it's just been an extremely long week.
But! I have also been so productive this week! I have been able to get a lot done and I have also (on the whole) been a lot happier. I am grateful for the beautiful tender mercies this week, two of which were scriptures that I read when I was feeling down that were able to lift me up. I'm grateful for my Savior's help, guidance, and love. I know that a lot of things this week were only possible because of Him. I am grateful for all He does for me, and for the support He gives, and for the people He puts in my life to love me and lift me up.

Today was Fast Sunday in our ward, so it was testimony meeting today, and I didn't take a lot of notes–mainly I just listened–but there were a few things that I loved and took notes on that I wanted to share.

-We can't hide anything from God. He knows exactly what we're feeling and thinking. But He is merciful. He wants us to be open–open to Him, open to change, open to the possibility of change. If we give up what we want for God, He will give us blessings.
-When we turn to the Savior, He can and will make us more than we can by ourselves. When Christ asks us to do things, even when they don't make sense, He makes it work, and He makes it worth it.

In Gospel Principles we talked about love. And while we were talking about things that made us feel like we were alone and not loved, I thought about two different songs that are some of my favorites. The first is called "Broken & Beautiful" and it's a new song by Calee Reed but it is amaaaazing!!!! I love it so much!! No matter what, we are always loved by Him. It's sometimes hard to see how God can make something wonderful out of our broken pieces, but I know He does. I know that sometimes it's hard to go through trials in this life, but I also know that you are not alone. God loves you, and sends you angels when you need them. He sent His Son to die for us so that we would not be alone in our darkest moments. He sent His Son to be with us in those moments, and to lift us up, and carry us when we can't go on by ourself. He sent His Son to help us put the pieces back together. He sent His Son to remind us that we might be broken, but we are still beautiful.

The other song is called "Better Than A Hallelujah", and this version is by Amy Grant but there is another version by Mercy River that is also amaaaazing! I love this song SO MUCH because the message of this song is that God takes what you give. He accepts it and makes it better. YOU ARE ENOUGH. He takes you as you are. And your feelings are not weakness. Your feelings are strengths. God wants you to come to Him, no matter where you are. He will take you where you stand, and He will help you become better. 

We also talked about how it is okay to be blind, and to just keep walking in faith. And when you feel alone and forgotten, and lost, remember that you are not the only one who has felt so! Heavenly Father left Christ, too. Have mercy on yourself, and remember to ask God for help. Remember to tell Him EVERYTHING. Tell Him you can't feel Him. Be open with Him. He knows all, but wants to hear it from you. He cares so much about you–He doesn't want you suffering or hurting. He wants to bring peace to your life, and He wants to give you strength. But He can't do that if you won't talk to Him or go to Him. So take the time to go to Him, and share with Him your feelings and thoughts. If it is important to you, it is important to Him. BUT He does have a plan for you, so your timetables might not match up together, but that is okay. Just trust Him. :)

I am so thankful for the blessings I receive in my life. I am so thankful for the people in my life. I am so thankful for the love that I feel and for the grace that I receive. I am so grateful for my Savior, and for His love and guidance, and the moments that He has lifted me up when I couldn't find the strength to stand. I am grateful for the power of music. I am grateful for love. I am grateful for peace. I am grateful for confidence and patience. I am grateful for grace. I am grateful for mercy. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. 

Xoxo
Mattie

Turn to Him.

Why?
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
Why do we procrastinate important things in our lives?
Why do we struggle with change?
Why do we struggle with decisions?
Why do we care so much about what others think?
Or say?
Or do?
Why do we stress and worry about things we literally can't control?
Why do we worry about the future instead of focusing on the here and now?

I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced these feelings. I'm sure you probably have, to some degree. I've been thinking about it a lot this week. And I realized some of the answers a little bit. Because we're concerned with the world. Or we're concerned with the future (which, in and of itself, is not a bad thing, but sometimes we take it too far). Or we think we're not good enough, we're not as good as so and so. Or sometimes we just care about other people, and their opinions are important to us, and so we care about their opinions of us. As a society, we care a lot about appearances. We care a lot about making the right decisions for our future now. Or we have a lot of things due (or to do) on the same day and we can't figure out which ones to focus on and we struggle with focusing on them and getting them done. And that can be stressful. Life is stressful. Friendships, relationships, dating, school–it's all stressful. But I was thinking about something in sacrament meeting today that kind of helped me relax and calm down a little.

It's been a crazy busy week, but somehow I made it through. Grateful for my Savior, who has blessed me, I know. Grateful for the chances I've had to study my scriptures almost every day this week. Grateful for all of the homework I've been able to finish. I was really stressed this week and wanted to just not do anything because I had so much to do but I needed to do my homework. I also didn't think I had time to study my scriptures because I've had papers to write, and assignments to read. But I paused, and took the time to study, and ponder, and pray, and I am so glad I did. That is the reason I was able to get through this week. Because I took the time to speak to, and listen for my Heavenly Father. And because I did that, He blessed me. I've struggled trying to focus this week because I've had so many papers to work on, but the last couple of days I've been able to focus more, and get a little bit more done. It's hard to focus on one paper when you have multiple papers all due on the same day, but, a President Monson has said, and that I have found to be true this week, "Life is hard by the yard. By the inch, it's a cinch!" I know that as we slow down, and take things one project or paper at a time, we will be able to focus, and progress, and get things done in a timely manner. I also know that as we take time to study our scriptures, we will find time to do all the things we have to do.

Taking time for the spiritual things might seem like a waste of time sometimes, but once you do, you will realize that you will have the ability, focus, and time to do all of the things you want to and need to do. You will be blessed with strength and will be able to concentrate on your tasks at hand.

Sister Maughan said some awesome things in her talk in sacrament meeting today! I just wanted to share a couple of things that we can do to come to Christ:
-We need to be all in.
-We need to stand up on the inside.
-Pray daily. Develop a relationship with your Father in Heaven and His Son.
-Learn to love the scriptures and study them.
-Heavenly Father is watching over us. Sometimes we need to experience things for ourselves. We are more capable than we know.

Bishop had some amazing things to say, too! He talked about prayers and answers, and also about trials and how to deal with them. He said that we increase our faith by fasting for a purpose and having meaningful prayers. He also said that faith is an important ingredient in prayer. Sometimes we just need to move forward in life though. Every individual is responsible for their own happiness, he said. Cultivate a spirit of happiness, and don't belittle or blame yourself. Believe in yourself, and your capacity to do things. Sometimes we just don't receive answers to prayers, but we need to keep moving forward.

Megan said something great in her lesson today. She said something to the effect of, "God is always there for us. Just because we can't see him sometimes doesn't mean He's not there. It's up to us to find Him in our lives. Every time we take the time to look for Him, we'll find Him."

I've been trying to take some time for me lately. I have kind of been feeling...not lost, exactly...but like I'm wandering, floating in the vast space of 'being' (which, I mean, I guess is true, since we're all floating in space, but that's not the way that I meant it). I feel like I'm struggling to fit in. And I mean, I have friends, and it's great fun, but I just feel a little bit out of place, and like I'm just not socializing enough. Anyway, I've decided that I need to find myself (Again. I keep forgetting, and losing myself, apparently. Or I just need to be a different me every school year. Either that, or I just have not really found myself). And I need to focus. I have been struggling with focusing lately. I don't know why that is, but I do know that it has been better when I've been studying my scriptures, and praying, and getting sleep. When all of my papers were just kind of dropped on me like a bomb, it was bad. I was worrying, and worrying, and I was jumping from paper to paper because I couldn't focus on any of them, and I couldn't figure out what I wanted to talk about, or how I wanted to talk about it (for being someone who loves writing and talking, sometimes I sure don't know what to say). But about midway through the week, something happened, and I just felt a whole lot better. I don't know what it was, but after Wednesday/Thursday morning, I've been able to focus just a little better. I'm grateful for the peace that I've had this weekend. It's been a little stressful, too, but mostly I've been feeling a lot better about my papers, and my schoolwork. Life is so hard, and can be so difficult and stressful, but I know that when we turn to God, and read His words, and listen to His Spirit, we're blessed.

Xoxo
Mattie

"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you."

Today was ward conference! It went by sooo fast!! It was a really great day!

My thoughts during the sacrament today were more of a reminder to me but I know that I'm not the only one who needs to hear them:

Hoping and wishing (and praying) for things in our life that we want or need is something that everyone does. But we forget to leave it to the Lord, or to do our part, and we get frustrated when things don't go the way that we wanted them to do. Sometimes it doesn't happen at all, and sometimes it doesn't happen for awhile. Either way, the Lord knows what He's doing. Sometimes you just have to let go and trust Him. He'll take care of it. 

We got to hear from Bishop Anderson in sacrament meeting today and I loved everything about his talk:
-All things change when we anchor on a future reward.
3 things that will help (us anchor on that future reward):
1) Diligence
-Anything that is good and righteous takes effort
-Don't stay down. Get back up.
2) Having the Spirit with you
-It's not how the sacrament is passed, but why it is passed.
3) Nourish your soul
-Don't worry about opposition/resistance. It will come.
-Scripture study, prayer, attending church, etc. is how you get spiritual nourishment.

President Acerson also spoke:
The theme of conference today was Doctrine and Covenants 88:63-64
-There are blessings that will come–maybe not in this life, but they will come and all will be made right.
-We understand doctrine through the Spirit.
"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you"

The last two hours were absolutely fabulous! The stake Relief Society president, Sister Radmall, spoke and she's great! I love her!
First she mentioned three things she told her kids when they were looking for a spouse and I thought they were great:
1) They need to have a testimony and be committed.
2) Find someone who can make you laugh.
3) Someone you're somewhat attracted to.
Then we watched this video and talked about the three things that cause us to resist receiving blessings. They were Fear, Doubt, and Sin. The way to overcome these can be found in Doctrine and Covenants 88:63-43. :)
*Seek~through the scriptures
–Ask~in prayer
**Knock~through obedience
*Scriptures are little packets of light.
*They have potent power to heal and help.
–The moment you say "Father in Heaven", He hears you.
–Heavenly Father can helps us in things both large and small.
–Prayer can result in miracles.
**Obedience leads to tender mercies.

President Radmall also spoke:
-In life, we often want an alternate ending that we decide.
He decided to focus on one specific line of the conference theme scripture:
"That is expedient for you"
In order to come accept the Lord's answers to our prayers, especially when it is a non-answer or an answer we don't like, we should do a couple things:
-Express gratitude for all things.
-Ask the Lord "what lack I yet? Is there something I've forgotten that needs correcting?"

President Moon:
He focused on the line:
"Seek me diligently and ye shall find me"
-Start with why.
-It (the Gospel) is true, because He lives.
-There is a plan specifically for you.

One last thing President Acerson said was, "Heed promptings and allow the Lord to lead and guide you."

It's been a good day. I soaked up and learned so much today. The three hours flew by so fast, I didn't even think it was three hours. Around 12:30 I was like, "It's 12:30?? There's half an hour left? No way!" I was really surprised. It was a good meeting and I was sad that it was over. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to hear from our stake leaders and hear messages that the Lord wanted me to hear. I heard some things that might be answers to my prayers but I'm not quite sure so I have to do some more looking. But that's okay, it'll be fine. Turn to Him, and walk to Him, and He will walk to you in return. :)

I'm grateful that I go to school at BYU; it's been such a blessing in my life. I love my ward, and my roommates, and my professors. I am so blessed to be where I am, physically and also in my life. I love my Savior and am so grateful that I can turn to Him, especially this semester as it's been tough in many ways. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Parents and for Their love and support. I am grateful for the heavenly help that I have been given in my life. Some things have been beyond my power but I've had help beyond the veil and I'm so thankful for that. I hope that everyone has a great week this week, and I hope that you know that you're loved and wanted and you're absolutely vital to this earth; you have so much to give to the world.

Xoxo
Mattie

Do everything in your power to do your part.

Today was our Stake Conference, which was great. I heard many things I needed/wanted to hear.

One thing that was so funny was one of the speakers (one of the Stake Presidency I believe, but I could be wrong) was talking about how he wanted to get a smokin' body and he said he told that to his wife who said, "Sweetheart, the only way you'll get a smokin' body is if you're cremated" and the whole congregation laughed and went "Ohh" as in "Ohh, burn." It was so funny!

Anyway.

Many awesome things were said today that I LOVED!
So, this talk was about marriage:
-Stop trying to find perfection.
-Do everything in your power to do your part.
-We cannot sit in our apartments or wherever and expect the Lord to bring them to us.
-Heavenly Father knows you and loves you. If you do your part He will direct you.

This talk was about building your foundation and faith in Christ:
-Build your foundation upon Christ.
-Go to Heavenly Father with a teachable heart (specifically when you go to Him with questions but also just always).
-Learn of the Savior–through study and prayer.
-You are engraven upon His palms. <3

-You are loved by Heavenly Father and are precious to Him.
-A testimony is not found over a pulpit, it is shared over a pulpit. It should be found in our own sacred places and in our own lives.
-Christ is the answer.
-Trust in the promise of the Lord.
-God is there. He will never leave you alone.

This talk was about finding Christ through gospel service:
-Matthew 16:24-25. Feed His sheep.
-Peace comes when we take up our cross and serve those around us, as He did.
This I thought was interesting: Anxiety is not an attribute of Christ. With anxiety, we are focused on ourself. Focus on those around you. With that, I know that it is hard. But I also know that when I focus on others, and serve and love them, I really do lose myself and I am not so anxious. I also know that with school, it's so hard to not be anxious about homework assignments and things, BUT some things you just have to let go and go about one day at a time. I know it's hard, but with your Savior, you can do it. :)

This talk was about conversion:
-There is joy when you stop doing what you want to do and start doing what Christ wants you to do.
-Turn and align yourself with God.

-2 Nephi 26:22
-We think we know best and we are not willing to follow the counsel of the Lord.
-Beware of pride.
-We need to be watchful in our lives. Don't let flaxen threads become flaxen cords.

-You are not here by chance. There is a reason you are here. 
-You are prepared to be here. You are among noble and great ones.
-The Lord loves you and is aware of you. Study your patriarchal blessing.

THIS TALK WAS SO CUTE, IT WAS MY FAVORITE!! It was Brother and Sister Childs, who are an older couple who were SO CUTE!!! It was adorable, and my friends and I were all like, "Relationship goals":
-Don't criticize your husband.
-Always keep God in your life.
I loved this: There's somebody out there for you. This is something that I always am thinking about; is there someone out there for me? And hearing it from Sister Childs was a blessing. She's such a sweet lady; I hope to be able to meet her someday. 

President Acerson said that "your value to Him does not change" and I loved that! It's a nice reminder that He will love you always.

Today was a great day full of inspiring messages. I'm blessed to be in such a great stake and ward. So excited to grow as a person this year!

I know that God loves you. He wants to help you return to Him. He sends you who you need when you need them. And He knows you SO WELL, I promise. He knows you. He knows exactly what you need. He loves you and wants to help you grow. So study your scriptures. Say your prayers. Turn to Him always. He is there, and He will help you. I know that you are never alone, and I know that you can always turn to your Heavenly Father and to your Savior. I am so grateful for them. This has been a crazy semester so far and it's only going to get worse but I have been able to keep up with all my projects and homework, for the most part. So blessed to have such a great apartment and friend group. I'm so thankful for my Savior and for His hand in my life. Here's to a great week for everyone!

Xoxo
Mattie

Sometimes there are hard days.

I'm not gonna lie: sometimes there are hard days. Sometimes they are really, really, really hard. Sometimes weeks are really hard, too. But I know that God will be there. I know that as long as I do my part, I won't have to do it alone.

Sometimes, the hard days are just emotionally hard. I'm so glad that I can turn to my Heavenly Father for comfort and peace, and that He will assure me that it is going to be okay. I know that He loves me, and I know that He wants what is best for me. Right now, I don't really know what that is. And that is okay. I know that He knows what He is doing, and I know that it will all work out in the end.

I'm grateful for my Savior, and for all that He has done for me. This weekend was kind of emotionally taxing, as you probably know from my previous blog post, but after I turned to my Savior, I was able to feel comfort, and I was able to rest. And I know that He can help me rest when I need it, and I know that He will help me finish whatever I need to get done, and I know that He loves me, and I know that He loves you. And I hope you never forget that I love you, too.

These are just some uplifting pictures that I love and wanted to share with you. :)

Sometimes we just need to remember that we are
children of God and that He loves us no matter what!!

I'm so glad that He is always with me. :)

He is our Lifeguard, and He walks on water.

Repentance is a choice, and repentance is change.

Today I had the privilege of going to two of my friends' missionary farewells. They gave such great talks!! I'm so excited for them! They are going to be amazing missionaries and I can't wait to see how much they've grown and changed when they come back in a year and a half. 

One of my friends talked about repentance, and I just found this really good quote about repentance and God's love for us:

"Though we disregard His counsel, break His commandments, and reject Him, when we recognize our mistakes and desire to repent, He wants us to seek Him out and He will accept us" (God's Love for Us Transcends Our Transgressions, Ronald E. Poelman, April 1982 General Conference). 

Sometimes I think we think that's it's so crazy that God can still love us, even after all the sins we've done and mistakes we've made. That reminds me of this scripture in 2nd Nephi:

20 And now, my brethren, I have spoken plainly that ye cannot err. And as the Lord God liveth that brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt, and gave unto Moses power that he should heal the nations after they had been bitten by the poisonous serpents, if they would cast their eyes unto the serpent which he did raise up before them, and also gave him power that he should smite the rock and the water should come forth; yea, behold I say unto you, that as these things are true, and as the Lord God liveth, there is none other name given under heaven save it be this Jesus Christ, of which I have spoken, whereby man can be saved. (2 Nephi 25:20)

I know that repentance isn't that easy, but it does take effort–just like the effort the nations needed to take. All they had to do to be healed was to look on the serpent that Moses "did raise up before them". Heavenly Father wants us to turn to Him, and to trust in Him. All we have to do is to turn to Him. Repentance is a choice that we have to consciously make. Elder Neil L. Andersen said that, "When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God" (Repent... That I May Heal You, October 2009 General Conference). Repentance is "re-turning" to God. Yes, repentance isn't easy, and it takes effort, but I know that it is more than worth it. It has brought me feelings of love, acceptance, peace, and understanding beyond anything I ever could have imagined. It has changed my life when I needed help to change, and it has helped me to heal when I so desperately needed healing. I am so grateful for my Savior and for His sacrifice for me. I would not be who I am today without Him and without His Atonement.

Come Unto Christ.

Hi guys! Today I'm just going to post a collection of inspirational pictures I saw on Facebook today, and one video. Hope you enjoy! They really spoke to me. <3

His mercy is our healer. <3

I love his analogy of relating the gospel to music. <3

I love this! <3

God will always keep us on our feet, even when we feel lost and forgotten. <3

Here is the video about Patience. Hopefully it will work!

I love you guys! I hope you know that you can always turn to Christ and He will always listen and help you. He loves you so much and just wants to to come back to live with our Heavenly Father. The way to do that is through Jesus Christ. Trust and put your faith in Him. He suffered and died for you! He wants to help heal you. The scriptures tell us, "Come unto Christ." He is your Elder Brother and He wants to bring you home. <3

He Will Ease Your Burdens.

Well, today in sacrament, Sunday School, and Relief Society, I heard a lot of things that I really needed to hear. Sometimes, telling people what you're having problems with helps you because then it's not just inside you. You're not the only who knows about it anymore. It makes it more real, and you can finally do something about it. We talked about the talk by Elder Bednar entitled "Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease", which you can find here. The only way that Elder Bednar's friend could make the truck go when it was stuck was to fill the truck bed with firewood. He says that "Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness. Because our individual load needs to generate spiritual traction, we should be careful to not haul around in our lives so many nice but unnecessary things that we are distracted and diverted from the things that truly matter most." Yes, we all have loads. Whether the load is that you don't know if you're being a good mom, or if you don't know what you are going to do when your friend is sick or dying, or if you don't know if Heavenly Father loves you anymore, we all have loads. They are necessary for us to grow. Jesus Christ said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest...For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11: 28-30). Go to Him! He loves you so much and He wants to help ease your burdens because He knows. He knows how much your burden hurts you, and He knows how to relieve you. We have burdens so that we can turn to Him. He will help you ease your burdens. He wants us to know that we need Him, because we do. We can't do it all alone. I know, because I've tried. It doesn't work. You need Him. I know that He loves us. I know that He wants to help us with our burdens. I know that if you turn to Him, He will help you because He loves you and He wants you to come to Him.

Christ and His Atonement are always there for us.

Today we learned about the Atonement. I'm so, so grateful for the Atonement. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without the Atonement. It's helped me in so many ways...when I've done something wrong, when I've felt alone, when I've felt lost, when I get hurt, when I've felt sad...Christ (and His Atonement) has always been there for me, and I'm so thankful. I'm thankful that He didn't just suffer for my sins, He suffered for my pains, my afflictions, when I've had to deal with death—He suffered for all of that. He's the only one who knows EXACTLY how I feel. I mean, sure, people who have been through similar situations can kind of sympathize. Also those who have gone through the deaths that I have have felt as sad as I did, surely, but we all went through it differently, and He is the only one who knows exactly how we dealt with it, and I'm grateful that I'm not the only one who knows what I go through in life. There are times when I am extremely disappointed in myself and I feel really bad but I know that He is right there, waiting for me to make things right. Even when I don't deserve it. Even when I was so, so stupid and I did something so, so wrong and I definitely didn't deserve to be forgiven, He was (and is) right there—waiting for me to forgive myself so I can move on with my life. I know there are times when we don't feel worthy, but we need to repent. We need to change—change our heart, and our actions, and our circumstances. We sometimes try to, but we can't do it alone, which is why Heavenly Father gave us His Son, Jesus Christ. So we don't have to do it alone. We never have to do it alone. It's so hard to do it alone, so please turn to Him. He loves you so much.