A message about life and love. I hope.

I know I already posted today, but I need to post this. I had a headache today (shocker, I know) and I just didn't know why. And earlier today (around 4) something so extremely small happened that made me a little sad (I don't even know why; it was so stupid). And then I had a meeting about my calling, which is Compassionate Service and I was like, "Okay, it's all good when I get to pray for and serve others and be compassionate towards them, but what about when I need compassionate service?" And I hate asking people for help like that because I'm really blessed because I don't have things as bad as others. And so I decided to watch something, and I was, until like 40 minutes ago when I decided that maybe walking would help get rid of my headache. So I got up and I was looking at Facebook and one of my friends liked a post I had shared and written yesterday. I was looking at it and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I needed that!" And I almost started crying but I walked around in circles a couple times (strangely, this tactic works sometimes for different things like trying not to stress or cry. I don't know why) and decided to walk downstairs. Did you know it's really hard trying to find a private spot in a dormitory hall where there's hundreds of girls living? Like, the only private areas are the practice rooms downstairs. ANYWAY. So I decided to come downstairs, which is where I am now. And then I decided to turn on my church/inspirational playlist and read my scriptures. But when I opened my LDS library app, a song came on that made me start sobbing. I just started sobbing (and it was awful to listen to because I sob weirdly when I'm trying not to sob really loudly and so I tried not to sob so much but that just made it sound even more awful) and so I turned to the section with texts about Jesus Christ. And I read The Living Christ, or the prophets and apostles' testimony of Jesus Christ. And this song ("Take Me There" by Hilary Weeks) was just describing exactly how I felt and what I needed and wanted and it made me cry more, but as I kept reading The Living Christ my tears stopped streaming down my face. I know He lives. This world we're living in—it's getting really bad, and it's making me sad for everyone who's hurt because of bad decisions made by other people. I wish I could just wrap all of those people who are hurting in a big hug and I wish I could make it all better. But I can't. Maybe...maybe I'm supposed to serve a mission, to spread His message of love and peace. Until this moment, I never actually felt a burning desire to serve a mission. It's always been something that wasn't really a part of my plan and I thought that was it (oh gosh, here come the tears again). Maybe I need to ask God again. Maybe I need this. But I'm scared. I'm not gonna lie—the thought of serving a mission has always frightened me. I'll have to ponder on that some more, I think. ANYWAY. Back to how I wish I could wrap everyone in a big hug. I personally cannot. But because God is real, He can bless them. I know everyone is always like, "How can an all-powerful God let bad things happen? How come so many people die because of cancer, or terrorists?" First I have to say this: I'm so sad about the way that our country (and the world) is going. People aren't as trusting in or believing in God. And it's so sad to me. I know I haven't been as studious with my personal spiritual growth (weird, right? You'd think at BYU it would be easier) but I still believe in Him. I love Him, and I know that His plan is just too grand for our human brain to comprehend fully. I don't know everything but I do know that God loves us. I do know that He sent His Son—Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer—to die for us. He DIED. Can you comprehend that? He did absolutely nothing wrong, and yet they crucified Him anyway. He atoned for you and He suffered for EVERYTHING. All of your pains—heartaches, afflictions, wounds, headaches, bumps, bruises, etc.—and all of your worries and stresses and He suffered for your sins. All of them. All the little ones, and all the bigger ones. He bled from every pore of His body sweat like drops of blood. He was in agony. And someone brought this to my attention today: Luke 22: 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. He "prayed more earnestly". What should we do when life gets tough? Get on your knees (if you can) and pray. God doesn't always answer our prayers exactly the minute we demand an answer. Sometimes it takes awhile. But "for those who embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they come" (Elder Holland). Answers and blessings will come. You just have to have faith. I know I'm just a girl from Utah and you're probably going, "Oh, what does she know?" But I am telling you: He will answer you. He will bless you, and He will help you. I promise. I don't know everything about history, or math, or science. I don't know why some people do the things they do. But people are human. We make mistakes. And we are imperfect. But I know that He loves you, regardless of your mistakes. He does not condone the sin, but He loves you and He blesses you and He sends people to you to do His work in His place because He can't personally be here. I know He lives. I know He loves you. I promise He will help you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.