God never promised life without heartache.

Happy December! Wow! Can you believe it is the last month of the year 2019 already?? I swear the year just started! This year has had a whole lot of ups and downs, and I have been through so much already! Here's just a small sample:

• This year, I started my last semester of college! And then I also graduated college!
• I went through the temple for the first time and then upped my temple attendance throughout the rest of the year! I've learned so much from the temple and my testimony of the power of the temple and of my Heavenly Father and my Savior has grown so much over the course of this year! 💜
• I turned 22, bought my second car, entered two posters in BYU's Fulton Conference and had one of them win FIRST PLACE!
• I had to get an appendectomy! That was a rough couple of days. 
• My family and I went to Vernal, Utah for our family vacation! It was amAAAAzing!!
• In July, I went on a trip to New York with my friend! 
• I started my first full-time job post-college and have been living the dream ever since!
• I saw Wicked TWO TIMES this year–once was in New York and it was absolutely phenomenal because we had front row seats!!
• "Even when it has been dark for days, the Son always comes." (Me, 07.23.2019)
• With my family and extended family on my mom's side, we went to the Dinosaur Park in Ogden, Utah for our family reunion! It was a blast!
• In September, my coworkers picked me for teacher of the month! It was such a blessing!!
• I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend, who is the sweetest, kindest, most respectful and thoughtful guy ever! I am sure grateful for him in my life!
• I celebrated the one year anniversary of getting my first car (#KingRupertMayHeRestInPeace).
• I made a Facebook page for my blog! (Yes, this blog!)
• Went to Salt Lake City for the October conference Saturday morning session.
• Went to my first BYU Spectacular as an Alumni! Ben Rector and Hilary Weeks were AMAZING!!
• I got to meet KRISTIN CHENOWETH AT A BOOK SIGNING!!! This was definitely one of the highlights of my year!
• I got to go to the temple with my younger brother for our sister's wedding. It was a very special day. The First Three, all in the temple together for a sealing. 
• I got to see Frozen II twice in November! I have always loved Frozen and Frozen II is BETTER! I loved it so much and can't wait to buy it when it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray!
• Thanksgiving was amazing! Yummy turkeys and pies!
• I have been working on trying to figure out/remember MY JOB. The one that God gave ME. No one else. Me. He has given me everything I need to do it. I just need to get up and do it (once, of course, I know what it is. I have some ideas but nothing certain yet. Gotta keep praying).
• I learned that LOVE is the answer to all things. Love was the common theme this year. And my self-love increased much this year.
• This year, my mental health journey has had some cRaAaAZzyy times! I have had some pretty amazing breakthroughs and beautiful thoughts, though, and I am very proud of the progress that I have made!
• I learned a lot about God's blessings for me, and about His plans, timing, and how everything has its time and season.
• Now it is December! Time for #LightTheWorld, the Christmas story, Christ's birth, finding Christmas presents for my loved ones (without breaking the bank/going overboard), and remembering the reason for the season.

There is so much to be thankful for! I have had such an amazing year! There have been so many ups!!! But there have also been many downs. Because one cannot know joy without knowing sorrow. One cannot know up without knowing down. And God never promised us a life without heartache. There has been (and will always be) some heartache in my life this year. And that will never change. There will always be heartache. But that's okay. I just need to remember to pray for peace and love, and to hope for a better tomorrow. And to keep my chin up, because there are far more happy days than sad days. I just need to remember to focus on the happy days and not let the sad days ruin the rest of the days. 

I cannot wait to see where the rest of this year takes me, and to see what's in store for me in 2020! I have a feeling next year is going to be my best year yet! 

Xoxo

Mattie

Happy Thanksgiving!

Two separate Facebook posts about today. I had a blast with my family today! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I'm grateful for so many things!! I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to go to school and get an education. I'm lucky and grateful to have been surrounded by so many great examples throughout my life. I'm so grateful that there are temples around. I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities that I have had (and will have) to grow as a person and to grow in the gospel. I'm so grateful for my family and friends (they love me in spite of my weirdness and craziness ;) ). I'm so grateful for the scriptures and the prophets. But most of all I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father, and my Savior, Jesus Christ. His Atonement has helped me heal more times than I can count, but I know that I can always count on Him to be there for me.

It's been a really fun day. Filled with family, food, dessert (yes it's a separate category of food), funny videos, and laughing fits and outbursts. I love my family and I'm so grateful that I got to spend the day with them. I'm also grateful that I get to be myself. I know I'm crazier and weirder than most but I wouldn't trade who I am to be anyone else. I'm grateful that I get to be me because my world is better when I'm being myself–it's real. :)

Miracles and tender mercies.

Okay, I had a miracle happen this week. I had to take a president's test for history and I had to memorize lots of people, parties, and facts. It was the last week of term, and I had to have the test taken by Friday, or yesterday. I studied my heart out all last weekend and all this week until Thursday because Friday after school I was originally supposed to have auditions for chamber orchestra that day after school, so I couldn't take the test on Friday--also I didn't want to take it on Friday because if I failed I'd have to take it again right after and that would be no fun. Anyway. I took the test on Thursday, and I thought I did okay--fabulous on the first part, and a little iffy on the last part--which I hadn't fully memorized, so shh...I worried about it all day, studied a little more during orchestra because Mrs. Kelley told me to, and just kind of flew through the day, not knowing what was going to happen because chamber auditions had been changed to the 31st, so I couldn't tell if Life liked me or if it was going to hate me by the end of day and I'd have to take the test again. Thankfully, I passed! I know I wouldn't have been able to do it without my Heavenly Father's help, or my sister's--she helped me study. I know that The Lord blessed me to be able to memorize all that I needed to in a week, and to remember some random stuff from my four years of honors history. It was such a tender mercy and I'm so thankful for His hand in my life.

Lessons learned from the cultural event.

Yesterday, before our cultural event, the narrators and soloists were given a challenge to imagine Christ beside us throughout the event. When I was singing my solo, even though I was completely alone for that first little bit, I didn't feel alone, and I know that He sent His Spirit to be with me, and I'm so thankful for that. At one point, while we were waiting for our turn to go on again, I was sitting alone, and no one was beside me, so I imagined Christ sitting next to me, and I immediately burst into tears, because I could see Him, and I know that he was proud of us, of me, for sharing our talents and testimonies. And both of these little miracles helped me know that we are never alone. The cultural event was such an uplifting experience and I am so glad that I got to share the message of Holy Father and my talents with all that went to see it. I got many people telling me that they cried when they heard it, and I'm so glad that it touched them. It's a beautiful song with a beautiful message.

He knows.

I realized today during sacrament meeting that The Lord knows who I'm going to be, and where I'm going to go. I realized that He puts people, and experiences, and knowledge in our lives that we will need to know when we become who we were supposed to become. I'm going to be a mother, and He gave me siblings that are very rowdy, so that I can learn patience. He gave me siblings that get hurt often so that I can learn medicine-y, heal-y type things. He gave me musical talents that I love to share so that I am able to share the gospel through them. He gave me a big heart, so that I have enough room to love all my friends, leaders, teachers, and families. He gave me amazing examples in my life so that I know what I can have. He gave me a craving for a better life, so that I can want what I can have. He gave me a desire to be the best me that I can be. And I love Him every day, all the time, and I'm grateful for that every day, all the time.